The Second City: My Chicago experiment comes to an end... ?
On Tuesday, I got an email from Keith saying that both he and Dave did NOT make it into the Second City Conservatory. I found this scary for two reasons: 1) Dave is more experienced than I am... and I figured he would make it in on his second try. 2) No matter how you slice it, Keith is just flat out better than I am. So to say I was nervous would be an understatement. The thing about Dave and Keith that make their situation better than mine is that they live here in Chicago; they're not going anywhere, as they live, work, and have significant others here. So for them to have to wait a couple months to audition again is no big deal; they're going to be here anyway. I, on the other hand, have to make a decision come October of this year. My lease will be up and, even if I made it into the Conservatory, I'd have a couple months left before I was done: I'd have to move someplace else in the city (someplace less expensive). If I didn't make it into the Conservatory now, I mean, add a couple months to the couple of months I already would have added to stay here, and it just becomes unrealistic financially for me to stay in Chicago. So unrealistic, in fact, that I don't know if I would audition again if I didn't make it into the Conservatory this time. Nothing like putting all your eggs in one basket for some unneeded pressure.
I spent from Tuesday until Friday (and especially the four hours in the car from BR to Chicago) thinking about what I would do if I didn't make it into the Conservatory. I'm going to need a job in January, regardless. I've been thinking about auditioning for some actual theatre here in Chicago... I miss doing dramatic "look at me crying" theatre. And I was thinking about where I go from here... where do I go after Chicago? Law school? Grad school... become a teacher? A teacher of what? Where would I live? What school would I go to? Why do I only speak in questions? Yeah... I don't know.
Needless to say, I had a lot on my mind, and a lot riding on the contents of a certain letter in Chicago. I got to my apartment, got my mail, noticed in the elevator that I had gotten a letter from the Second City, and went into my apartment to sit. I sat and looked at the letter for at least five minutes. Was it too thin to be an acceptance letter? Was it too thick to be a rejection? Have I gotten no intelligence from the thickness of the letter? Yes. I might as well open the stupid thing. "Congratulations..." it said, and my eyes started watering. Against all odds... I honestly didn't think I had a chance. I wouldn't have to figure out what to do with myself for a whole other year... I'm not done here. And I must be better at this improv thing than I thought. My classes will be on Thursday nights... making my January: Thursday night class, Friday night writing show, Saturday night show, Sunday night show. I'm going to need a regular "business" job, with business hours, so I have nights and weekends free. Whatever... it doesn't matter. I'm in... and I'll be here, trying this out for another year. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Happy Thanksgiving
As long as I've got a second online in the B to the Rah, I thought I'd say Happy Thanksgiving to everybody. It's a time to be thankful for being with family and friends... and to think about those who can't be doing either. Come home soon Kenny, we miss you. Take care, everyone... and enjoy your holiday.
BTW... when my friend, Dave, was growing up in Texas, they were taught that the Pilgrims taught the Native Americans how to grow food after they got here (he's almost 40, so it was a while ago, but still). So, in addition to everything else, let's be thankful for the truth eventually surfacing. The truth will ALWAYS surface in time.
As long as I've got a second online in the B to the Rah, I thought I'd say Happy Thanksgiving to everybody. It's a time to be thankful for being with family and friends... and to think about those who can't be doing either. Come home soon Kenny, we miss you. Take care, everyone... and enjoy your holiday.
BTW... when my friend, Dave, was growing up in Texas, they were taught that the Pilgrims taught the Native Americans how to grow food after they got here (he's almost 40, so it was a while ago, but still). So, in addition to everything else, let's be thankful for the truth eventually surfacing. The truth will ALWAYS surface in time.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
"'Where you off to? Lookin' so pretty?', 'Baby, it's Monday Night Footbaw... game starts in ten minutes'"
I think it's probably time for me to weigh in on TOs MNF intro. If you haven't seen it, you can see it on IFilm here. Do I think it's kind of clever? Yes. Does it make me want to see Desperate Housewives? No. Only the supremely hot Teri Hatcher makes me want to see that show, but she's not enough for me to actually watch it. Furthermore, if the game had been any good, we probably would've been talking about it, instead of the intro to the game. While I like Tony Dungy... I think he was way off. I don't think this has anything to do with the stereotypes of black men and white, blonde women. I think this has everything to do with TO being the biggest star on Philly... and ABC wanting to sell Desperate Housewives, a show which is basically about sex (not that there's anything wrong with that, but if you've seen other commercials for the show, they're all about trying to sell sex). Understandably, I'm coming at this from the White male perspective... but, like someone said, TO wasn't the aggressor of the skit, Nicolette was. This was just a stupid skit that was trying to get MNF fans to watch Desperate Housewives.
Last night in Detroit the Pacers/Pistons game was called due to a brawl. I haven't seen the whole thing, but it's one of those things that makes me unhappy to be from Michigan. It's just so stupid. Why try to physically fight the Indiana Pacer players? Because they were winning? Because Ron Artest is a douche? Or maybe because you were drunk and thought you were better than the NBA athletes. "He's not so tough, I could take him"... please. This is another reason why I feel alcohol should not be served at sporting events. If you're going to watch the game, watch the f--king game. If not, I'm sure they're somebody who'd rather have your ticket. "Oh... but John, taking beer from "fans" is taking money out of my rich pockets. I can make a profit of $3 per beer, because I'm selling them for six f--king dollars at the stadium." Sometimes this country sickens me.
Speaking of, I finally went about watching the O'Reilly Factor. He makes me angry to be Irish. Things like this come from his mouth: "If you're going to believe Fahrenheit 9/11, believe it. But you're a nut." He's the kind of person who is technically, grammatically asking a question... but there's nothing that's actually a question about what he just said. I think we'd call this "leading the witness" in the law realm. And, when you disagree with the "question" he's asked, you already sound like an idiot. This only proves that there's no way to intelligently disagree with rhetoric hidden in question form.
I think it's probably time for me to weigh in on TOs MNF intro. If you haven't seen it, you can see it on IFilm here. Do I think it's kind of clever? Yes. Does it make me want to see Desperate Housewives? No. Only the supremely hot Teri Hatcher makes me want to see that show, but she's not enough for me to actually watch it. Furthermore, if the game had been any good, we probably would've been talking about it, instead of the intro to the game. While I like Tony Dungy... I think he was way off. I don't think this has anything to do with the stereotypes of black men and white, blonde women. I think this has everything to do with TO being the biggest star on Philly... and ABC wanting to sell Desperate Housewives, a show which is basically about sex (not that there's anything wrong with that, but if you've seen other commercials for the show, they're all about trying to sell sex). Understandably, I'm coming at this from the White male perspective... but, like someone said, TO wasn't the aggressor of the skit, Nicolette was. This was just a stupid skit that was trying to get MNF fans to watch Desperate Housewives.
Last night in Detroit the Pacers/Pistons game was called due to a brawl. I haven't seen the whole thing, but it's one of those things that makes me unhappy to be from Michigan. It's just so stupid. Why try to physically fight the Indiana Pacer players? Because they were winning? Because Ron Artest is a douche? Or maybe because you were drunk and thought you were better than the NBA athletes. "He's not so tough, I could take him"... please. This is another reason why I feel alcohol should not be served at sporting events. If you're going to watch the game, watch the f--king game. If not, I'm sure they're somebody who'd rather have your ticket. "Oh... but John, taking beer from "fans" is taking money out of my rich pockets. I can make a profit of $3 per beer, because I'm selling them for six f--king dollars at the stadium." Sometimes this country sickens me.
Speaking of, I finally went about watching the O'Reilly Factor. He makes me angry to be Irish. Things like this come from his mouth: "If you're going to believe Fahrenheit 9/11, believe it. But you're a nut." He's the kind of person who is technically, grammatically asking a question... but there's nothing that's actually a question about what he just said. I think we'd call this "leading the witness" in the law realm. And, when you disagree with the "question" he's asked, you already sound like an idiot. This only proves that there's no way to intelligently disagree with rhetoric hidden in question form.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Jet: The new Beatles
I've done so much writing recently... I've come up with ideas for two full length shows, five or six scenes that don't have anything to do with the two full length shows, and even a couple short runners/blackouts/monologues. I don't know what happened... but now material just seems to be pouring out of my head. I find myself lying down at night, coming up with something else that's good, and having to get up to make sure I write it down. I think part of it is that I haven't done real writing in a while and I might just have a lot of loot stored up in my noggin. Or I'm a genius... one of those things is true.
Wednesday I went out to Keith's in Oswego to talk about our show coming up in January... and to show him some of the stuff I've been writing/working on. I showed him my scripts and he liked a few of them... but we had bigger "fish" to "eat" or however that one goes. We had to buy some costume pieces for our show in January... This weekend we're taking promotional photos (yeah... some kind of neato photo shoot for me!) and we needed some stuff by Sunday. So we went to TJ Max to get ties and to a Costume shop to get other items. During our costume shop fun... Laura called out of the blue. I wouldn't mention this here, because I know you don't care if Laura calls me or not... but I had been thinking about her Wednesday. For some reason, I smelled something that smelled like her... and I recognized it as her scent right away. You know how that commercial goes "Scent is the strongest sense tied to memory" or something similarly awkward... so I was like BAM, "Laura?... weird". Just thought I'd share that with you.
Keith's wife, Sara, is hilarious. Not in a funny kind of way, but in a weird "I can't believe anyone did/said that" kind of way. Earlier, Keith had said we were getting pizza, and I thought that was cool because it was as if I was just going to help them eat something they were already eating. That sentence didn't make sense... um... I liked it because it wasn't like they were going to make something just for me--making my staying there a big deal--I was just going to have whatever they were having any way. That makes sense. Anyway, Sara said that she didn't want pizza... so Keith asked her (not really) politely to pick something better. After about twenty minutes of getting mixed mumbling and ideas that were quickly shot down by Sara herself, she finally settled on... pizza. *shakes head* WOMEN! While consuming the pizza, we watched Waiting for Guffman with the director's commentary. This is Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy talking about the movie during the movie. We were trying to get a sense of how they did this movie, because one of my ideas is for a show that is similar to those movies... except it would be live and on stage. So we were doing research... and we got a few good ideas.
Have you actually heard the words "Chicken" and "Selects"? I mean... really listen to the way the two words sound together. Yes, McDonalds, that's one of the stupidest names for a food in the history of food names.
There's an article on CNN.com that says that Math tests too easy (article here). This comes at a time when my other blog is focusing on educational problems in this country. I have yet to post on that blog about this story... but this is the other end of the "teaching to the tests" problem. If we're making the tests easier AND teaching to the tests... what the hell are they actually learning? It makes everyone think: "Is our children learning?" I took the practice test that they have, and got all the questions right. Granted I'm a college graduate, but Clinton was in office the last time I had anything resembling a math class. But I found all of the questions easy enough to do without even pencil or paper... all stuff in my head, which is pretty remarkable for me. There's nothing I can think my way through (you've talked to me, you know it's true). But, seriously, we're losing sight of the entire purpose of education with a focus on tests and a further dumbing down of the test material... what ever happened to exploring new ideas and being creative and not teaching about Christianity in schools? Was I dreaming all that?
Have you seen the Toyota Tacoma "Adrenalitis" commercial? Did you know that the suffix "itis" means an "inflammation" of something? I learned this when I had tendonitis in my left shoulder during tennis season my junior year (I'm not sure if Nate even remembers this, cuz I tried not to make a big deal out of it... but I woke up one morning and couldn't move my left arm at all... I freaked out). Ergo, Adrenalitis would be an inflammation of adrenaline, not the absence of adrenaline. This basically means that commercial makes no sense and pisses me off whenever I see it. Just thought I'd share that with you.
We have seen voting injustices in this country before. Consider the 2000 election, or the 2004 election, or, I'm assuming, any election that George W. Bush has ever won. But there is a new voting injustice in this world... and this blog is the perfect forum for it. As many of you might know, Jude Law is the 2004 People's sexiest man. I am demanding a recount of certain "red" sections of Ohio and Florida... because, come on, have you seen me? Have you seen him? There's no way he'd beat me in a fair election. But I suppose I should give props to Mr. "I am the Law"... for being attractive to women. Hey Jude... way to go.
Speaking of the Beatles, have you heard Jet's new song "Look what you've done"? Yeah... that sounds like the Beatles all right. Then why, praytell, do I like Jet's songs if I'm so fundamentally opposed to the Beatles? Well... here's where you're wrong, Laura. I'm not fundamentally opposed to the Beatles... I'm opposed to those people who believe the Beatles are the greatest band there ever was and there ever will be. I don't like this because, to me, what then is the point of trying to make anything new? It's like saying this movie is the greatest ever made... what's the point of making/seeing new movies. This one is the best ever... so there's no point to it. We've reached perfection. Plus, they're British... and fuck those pansy bastards. So why do I like Jet? I don't know... but I do. And it's not because they're the best "something" ever... they just make fun songs and that's all. Fun = Good.
(BTW, if there's one person who could have understandably killed himself, it's Stu Sutcliffe. I would've understood if he did it instead of the brain hemorrhage thing, that's all I'm sayin'. Maybe the brain hemorrhage was a result of him realizing that he could have been in THE BEATLES!)
I've done so much writing recently... I've come up with ideas for two full length shows, five or six scenes that don't have anything to do with the two full length shows, and even a couple short runners/blackouts/monologues. I don't know what happened... but now material just seems to be pouring out of my head. I find myself lying down at night, coming up with something else that's good, and having to get up to make sure I write it down. I think part of it is that I haven't done real writing in a while and I might just have a lot of loot stored up in my noggin. Or I'm a genius... one of those things is true.
Wednesday I went out to Keith's in Oswego to talk about our show coming up in January... and to show him some of the stuff I've been writing/working on. I showed him my scripts and he liked a few of them... but we had bigger "fish" to "eat" or however that one goes. We had to buy some costume pieces for our show in January... This weekend we're taking promotional photos (yeah... some kind of neato photo shoot for me!) and we needed some stuff by Sunday. So we went to TJ Max to get ties and to a Costume shop to get other items. During our costume shop fun... Laura called out of the blue. I wouldn't mention this here, because I know you don't care if Laura calls me or not... but I had been thinking about her Wednesday. For some reason, I smelled something that smelled like her... and I recognized it as her scent right away. You know how that commercial goes "Scent is the strongest sense tied to memory" or something similarly awkward... so I was like BAM, "Laura?... weird". Just thought I'd share that with you.
Keith's wife, Sara, is hilarious. Not in a funny kind of way, but in a weird "I can't believe anyone did/said that" kind of way. Earlier, Keith had said we were getting pizza, and I thought that was cool because it was as if I was just going to help them eat something they were already eating. That sentence didn't make sense... um... I liked it because it wasn't like they were going to make something just for me--making my staying there a big deal--I was just going to have whatever they were having any way. That makes sense. Anyway, Sara said that she didn't want pizza... so Keith asked her (not really) politely to pick something better. After about twenty minutes of getting mixed mumbling and ideas that were quickly shot down by Sara herself, she finally settled on... pizza. *shakes head* WOMEN! While consuming the pizza, we watched Waiting for Guffman with the director's commentary. This is Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy talking about the movie during the movie. We were trying to get a sense of how they did this movie, because one of my ideas is for a show that is similar to those movies... except it would be live and on stage. So we were doing research... and we got a few good ideas.
Have you actually heard the words "Chicken" and "Selects"? I mean... really listen to the way the two words sound together. Yes, McDonalds, that's one of the stupidest names for a food in the history of food names.
There's an article on CNN.com that says that Math tests too easy (article here). This comes at a time when my other blog is focusing on educational problems in this country. I have yet to post on that blog about this story... but this is the other end of the "teaching to the tests" problem. If we're making the tests easier AND teaching to the tests... what the hell are they actually learning? It makes everyone think: "Is our children learning?" I took the practice test that they have, and got all the questions right. Granted I'm a college graduate, but Clinton was in office the last time I had anything resembling a math class. But I found all of the questions easy enough to do without even pencil or paper... all stuff in my head, which is pretty remarkable for me. There's nothing I can think my way through (you've talked to me, you know it's true). But, seriously, we're losing sight of the entire purpose of education with a focus on tests and a further dumbing down of the test material... what ever happened to exploring new ideas and being creative and not teaching about Christianity in schools? Was I dreaming all that?
Have you seen the Toyota Tacoma "Adrenalitis" commercial? Did you know that the suffix "itis" means an "inflammation" of something? I learned this when I had tendonitis in my left shoulder during tennis season my junior year (I'm not sure if Nate even remembers this, cuz I tried not to make a big deal out of it... but I woke up one morning and couldn't move my left arm at all... I freaked out). Ergo, Adrenalitis would be an inflammation of adrenaline, not the absence of adrenaline. This basically means that commercial makes no sense and pisses me off whenever I see it. Just thought I'd share that with you.
We have seen voting injustices in this country before. Consider the 2000 election, or the 2004 election, or, I'm assuming, any election that George W. Bush has ever won. But there is a new voting injustice in this world... and this blog is the perfect forum for it. As many of you might know, Jude Law is the 2004 People's sexiest man. I am demanding a recount of certain "red" sections of Ohio and Florida... because, come on, have you seen me? Have you seen him? There's no way he'd beat me in a fair election. But I suppose I should give props to Mr. "I am the Law"... for being attractive to women. Hey Jude... way to go.
Speaking of the Beatles, have you heard Jet's new song "Look what you've done"? Yeah... that sounds like the Beatles all right. Then why, praytell, do I like Jet's songs if I'm so fundamentally opposed to the Beatles? Well... here's where you're wrong, Laura. I'm not fundamentally opposed to the Beatles... I'm opposed to those people who believe the Beatles are the greatest band there ever was and there ever will be. I don't like this because, to me, what then is the point of trying to make anything new? It's like saying this movie is the greatest ever made... what's the point of making/seeing new movies. This one is the best ever... so there's no point to it. We've reached perfection. Plus, they're British... and fuck those pansy bastards. So why do I like Jet? I don't know... but I do. And it's not because they're the best "something" ever... they just make fun songs and that's all. Fun = Good.
(BTW, if there's one person who could have understandably killed himself, it's Stu Sutcliffe. I would've understood if he did it instead of the brain hemorrhage thing, that's all I'm sayin'. Maybe the brain hemorrhage was a result of him realizing that he could have been in THE BEATLES!)
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Misc loot with no good name or clever title... um... I didn't even try
Yesterday I met Owen and hung out at Adam, Chip, and Owen's (yeah... he moved in). I went over there in the afternoon, and was welcomed with doughnuts. This, I said, was a sure way to get into my pants. And, it's true. Regardless, I went over there to have my first LAN party not in a dorm. They have a whole new set-up now that Owen's there... with the focus on, you guessed it, computers. There are like little stations in the apartment now, so all three of them can be on a computer at the same time. I'm sure the electric bill is going to go through the roof! Anyway, they had set up this LAN party because there was a woman from the AP there to do an article on online gaming. It's part of a series on internet culture and a generation of the internet. So this woman came, and some dude came and took pictures of us playing, of all things, the original Quake for PC. I said a couple things to the woman, but she was more interested in talking to Chip because he plays games and he's into potentially making games. This woman was from Cadillac of all places... CADILLAC! And she knew how to speak without drooling (f--king Cadillac!).
So we played that for a while; I played Halo 2 with their friend Dave for a while; we got take-out from an Italian restaurant; I played DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball with Owen for a while; and I just generally hung out. It was cool... and Owen's just like Adam and Chip... just a totally relaxed guy who'd rather play some shooter on the computer while drinking beer than anything else. *shakes head* kids these days.
From the "where did this come from" category, Kmart is set to buy Sears. The full story's here... but I'll do a little talking about it here. The deal will effectively allow Kmart to carry Kenmore appliances and Craftsman tools, while Sears will be able to carry stuff like the Martha Stewart lines and more/other clothing. CNN reports that a lot of Kmarts will become Sears, effecting everywhere in the nation, but really hitting home in Albion College: turning Kresge Gymnasium to Roebuck's "Big wooden room." (I think that's f--king clever... scrump you) What does this mean? It means the ability for both of those companies to compete with Target, Home Depot, and even the dreaded Wal-Mart. Good for Chicago (Sears) and Troy (Kmart)!
Additionally, in the news, Governor Swartzenagger is over in Japan to see if he can raise money for California by appearing in commercials. Apparently, lots of "western" film stars can go over to Japan and do commercials, and make anus-loads of money. If you ever get a chance to see American movies stars in Japanese commercials, do it... they're almost always hilarious. And, since there's no FCC in Japan (I'm calling them the Federal Christian Coalition, until I come up with something funnier), some of the commercials can get pretty racy. *raises eyebrows*
See why Christians are psychotic here.
And, finally, giving pro-choice advocates a bad name here. Warning: The images created by reading that story are graphic. If you're having a good day, don't click that link. Thank you.
Yesterday I met Owen and hung out at Adam, Chip, and Owen's (yeah... he moved in). I went over there in the afternoon, and was welcomed with doughnuts. This, I said, was a sure way to get into my pants. And, it's true. Regardless, I went over there to have my first LAN party not in a dorm. They have a whole new set-up now that Owen's there... with the focus on, you guessed it, computers. There are like little stations in the apartment now, so all three of them can be on a computer at the same time. I'm sure the electric bill is going to go through the roof! Anyway, they had set up this LAN party because there was a woman from the AP there to do an article on online gaming. It's part of a series on internet culture and a generation of the internet. So this woman came, and some dude came and took pictures of us playing, of all things, the original Quake for PC. I said a couple things to the woman, but she was more interested in talking to Chip because he plays games and he's into potentially making games. This woman was from Cadillac of all places... CADILLAC! And she knew how to speak without drooling (f--king Cadillac!).
So we played that for a while; I played Halo 2 with their friend Dave for a while; we got take-out from an Italian restaurant; I played DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball with Owen for a while; and I just generally hung out. It was cool... and Owen's just like Adam and Chip... just a totally relaxed guy who'd rather play some shooter on the computer while drinking beer than anything else. *shakes head* kids these days.
From the "where did this come from" category, Kmart is set to buy Sears. The full story's here... but I'll do a little talking about it here. The deal will effectively allow Kmart to carry Kenmore appliances and Craftsman tools, while Sears will be able to carry stuff like the Martha Stewart lines and more/other clothing. CNN reports that a lot of Kmarts will become Sears, effecting everywhere in the nation, but really hitting home in Albion College: turning Kresge Gymnasium to Roebuck's "Big wooden room." (I think that's f--king clever... scrump you) What does this mean? It means the ability for both of those companies to compete with Target, Home Depot, and even the dreaded Wal-Mart. Good for Chicago (Sears) and Troy (Kmart)!
Additionally, in the news, Governor Swartzenagger is over in Japan to see if he can raise money for California by appearing in commercials. Apparently, lots of "western" film stars can go over to Japan and do commercials, and make anus-loads of money. If you ever get a chance to see American movies stars in Japanese commercials, do it... they're almost always hilarious. And, since there's no FCC in Japan (I'm calling them the Federal Christian Coalition, until I come up with something funnier), some of the commercials can get pretty racy. *raises eyebrows*
See why Christians are psychotic here.
And, finally, giving pro-choice advocates a bad name here. Warning: The images created by reading that story are graphic. If you're having a good day, don't click that link. Thank you.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
End Zone dances, Favre, fucking the south, and that guy you work with
On Monday Night Football, Terrell Owens--arguably my favorite player in the league (note the sarcasm)--scored three touchdowns. This is quite an accomplishment for a wide receiver... but moreso it's an accomplishment that he's scored 12 TDs already this year (in 9 games). That's incredible. He's a phenomenal athlete... but it may be overshadowed by his incredible stupidity: his cockiness. We've all heard about him saying his former quarterback, Jeff Garcia, is gay... and we know how that makes him a f--king idiot. But Owens' new thing is to celebrate every one of his touchdowns with some kind of dance or celebratory movement. The Monday Night Football crew talked to hall of fame wide receivers Steve Largent and John Stallworth about Owens' celebrations. They said that they don't mind the celebrations, in that it's what "the fans want"... but they also think it's like someone standing at the end of an assembly line taking credit for the entire car that just got made. It's true... he's taking all the credit for the team's accomplishments, which I feel is pretty much the role of the Wide Receiver. Being the asshole. He's good at it. I suppose this is why I'm the best receiver of all my friends... "Ain't nobody cover me! Gollie!"
Also, I hear that mah boy Brett has a book out, Favre. Even ESPN Classic has cashed in, as I am currently watching the Sportscentury: Brett Favre show. Favre is, without a doubt, the best Packers quarterback in their history... and it feels incredible to know that I'll see his entire career. Hmm... that book would make a great Christmas present for my dad, but I bet he's already bought matching copies for the entire family. >Shakes head< Dad always buys what he wants before we can, which makes Christmas, his birthday, and father's day difficult. Know anybody like that? It's crap... because you can never get them something that they really want, you always have to buy them something they didn't know they wanted; and the set of those items is pretty small.
Check this out: http://www.fuckthesouth.com/
Now, the last thing I have to touch on is this dude named Chris who's in my writing five class. The best word I can think of to describe him is "douche". He's a douche. He's not funny and, moreover, he's irritating and nit-picky and a control freak. Last night we decided to move his scene to last (where my scene was) because it fits in better with the reprise of the song. This wouldn't be so bad if his scene wasn't a warm pile of poop. Ending our show with a fecal scene is just plain terrible. Yes, deep down I'm pissed that my scene was going to end the show and now it's not... that was a bit of the ego-stroking that I do love so very much... but that pales in comparison to how stupid it is to end the show on a "huh? that scene sucked" note. More on Chris... he's giving the actors notes. A lot. He's giving a LOT of notes to the actors. And he shouldn't. It's like getting notes on how to perform surgery from an accountant. "But I've seen ER" they would say. It doesn't matter... you don't know what you're doing. Shut your mouth. Thank you.
Everybody works with a dude like this. Somebody who thinks they're so good at everything, that they want their hand in everything. As someone who IS good at everything ["I have never been exceptional. But what I'm doing, this, is"], it upsets me.
On Monday Night Football, Terrell Owens--arguably my favorite player in the league (note the sarcasm)--scored three touchdowns. This is quite an accomplishment for a wide receiver... but moreso it's an accomplishment that he's scored 12 TDs already this year (in 9 games). That's incredible. He's a phenomenal athlete... but it may be overshadowed by his incredible stupidity: his cockiness. We've all heard about him saying his former quarterback, Jeff Garcia, is gay... and we know how that makes him a f--king idiot. But Owens' new thing is to celebrate every one of his touchdowns with some kind of dance or celebratory movement. The Monday Night Football crew talked to hall of fame wide receivers Steve Largent and John Stallworth about Owens' celebrations. They said that they don't mind the celebrations, in that it's what "the fans want"... but they also think it's like someone standing at the end of an assembly line taking credit for the entire car that just got made. It's true... he's taking all the credit for the team's accomplishments, which I feel is pretty much the role of the Wide Receiver. Being the asshole. He's good at it. I suppose this is why I'm the best receiver of all my friends... "Ain't nobody cover me! Gollie!"
Also, I hear that mah boy Brett has a book out, Favre. Even ESPN Classic has cashed in, as I am currently watching the Sportscentury: Brett Favre show. Favre is, without a doubt, the best Packers quarterback in their history... and it feels incredible to know that I'll see his entire career. Hmm... that book would make a great Christmas present for my dad, but I bet he's already bought matching copies for the entire family. >Shakes head< Dad always buys what he wants before we can, which makes Christmas, his birthday, and father's day difficult. Know anybody like that? It's crap... because you can never get them something that they really want, you always have to buy them something they didn't know they wanted; and the set of those items is pretty small.
Check this out: http://www.fuckthesouth.com/
Now, the last thing I have to touch on is this dude named Chris who's in my writing five class. The best word I can think of to describe him is "douche". He's a douche. He's not funny and, moreover, he's irritating and nit-picky and a control freak. Last night we decided to move his scene to last (where my scene was) because it fits in better with the reprise of the song. This wouldn't be so bad if his scene wasn't a warm pile of poop. Ending our show with a fecal scene is just plain terrible. Yes, deep down I'm pissed that my scene was going to end the show and now it's not... that was a bit of the ego-stroking that I do love so very much... but that pales in comparison to how stupid it is to end the show on a "huh? that scene sucked" note. More on Chris... he's giving the actors notes. A lot. He's giving a LOT of notes to the actors. And he shouldn't. It's like getting notes on how to perform surgery from an accountant. "But I've seen ER" they would say. It doesn't matter... you don't know what you're doing. Shut your mouth. Thank you.
Everybody works with a dude like this. Somebody who thinks they're so good at everything, that they want their hand in everything. As someone who IS good at everything ["I have never been exceptional. But what I'm doing, this, is"], it upsets me.
Monday, November 15, 2004
This week's sign that the apocalypse is upon us...
Is here.
I'm sorry FDA, but who doesn't know what Viagra does? And thanks to CNN for letting us know the side-effects. I'm sorry, this should all be filed into the "if I need the drug, you can tell me the side-effects then" category. Why is everyone so stupid?
Is here.
I'm sorry FDA, but who doesn't know what Viagra does? And thanks to CNN for letting us know the side-effects. I'm sorry, this should all be filed into the "if I need the drug, you can tell me the side-effects then" category. Why is everyone so stupid?
*A free guide to understanding credit*
Yeah... I just saw one of those 'understanding' credit commercials. What got me about this one was that the guy in the commercial said "I liked college. It was like there was a money tree and I kept shaking it and shaking it", and the commercial shows him using a credit card to make a whole bunch of purchases. Then they show him in the present day... looking distraught... "I wish I knew then what I know now." The point? He wishes he knew what credit card debt was all about. This will never fail to amuse, frustrate, and anger me. What he wished he knew is that when you BUY something with a CREDIT CARD you actually have to eventually PAY for it with MONEY. What a concept... money in exchange for goods and services! The fact that people don't understand what a credit card is will never fail to boggle my mind. But these people are far better than the people who know how credit cards work and don't care. Something Andrea said to me will ALWAYS stick in my head. We were talking about being in debt, and she said "There comes a point when you just have to say 'the well's empty, you can try to get water out of it if you want, but there's nothing there'." She was effectively saying that if someone comes after you because you're in debt to them (because you bought stuff you couldn't pay for), everything's cool if you don't have any money to pay them. Hell, maybe the big companies will forget you owe them money and move on. A person like this physically sickens me. Someone who irresponsibly gets away with getting things for free and there are no consequences. What bothers me is the injustice of it all. My inherited sense of justice is what pushes me towards law... and my observations of the constant injustice that is life (like the above) is what pushes me away. Here's a rule of thumb, kids, if you don't want to piss me off: If you have the cash in a bank account to buy it, you can use a credit card. If you don't... don't. Easy.
In other, completely unrelated news... I find myself day-dreaming more frequently and more intensely than I used to. It sometimes relates to what I'm doing and sometimes it has nothing to do with what's going on around me... but I'm literally sucked out of what's going on, and I start thinking about what could be or what should be. After the election I spent some time thinking about what I could do to make people listen to reason... and, in my mind, became an influential political force. Or I let my mind float to Las Vegas where Ken and I spend countless hours catching up on things and acting like brothers, while "saving the earth" from "alien forces"... or I'm at Adam's, thinking how Ken would fit right in if he were here. And so on, you get the drift. I don't know what this means, but I'm starting to think that I should just write down all my day-dreams (as I really don't ever remember my night-dreams). Maybe my creativity is back? Let's hope so.
Yeah... I just saw one of those 'understanding' credit commercials. What got me about this one was that the guy in the commercial said "I liked college. It was like there was a money tree and I kept shaking it and shaking it", and the commercial shows him using a credit card to make a whole bunch of purchases. Then they show him in the present day... looking distraught... "I wish I knew then what I know now." The point? He wishes he knew what credit card debt was all about. This will never fail to amuse, frustrate, and anger me. What he wished he knew is that when you BUY something with a CREDIT CARD you actually have to eventually PAY for it with MONEY. What a concept... money in exchange for goods and services! The fact that people don't understand what a credit card is will never fail to boggle my mind. But these people are far better than the people who know how credit cards work and don't care. Something Andrea said to me will ALWAYS stick in my head. We were talking about being in debt, and she said "There comes a point when you just have to say 'the well's empty, you can try to get water out of it if you want, but there's nothing there'." She was effectively saying that if someone comes after you because you're in debt to them (because you bought stuff you couldn't pay for), everything's cool if you don't have any money to pay them. Hell, maybe the big companies will forget you owe them money and move on. A person like this physically sickens me. Someone who irresponsibly gets away with getting things for free and there are no consequences. What bothers me is the injustice of it all. My inherited sense of justice is what pushes me towards law... and my observations of the constant injustice that is life (like the above) is what pushes me away. Here's a rule of thumb, kids, if you don't want to piss me off: If you have the cash in a bank account to buy it, you can use a credit card. If you don't... don't. Easy.
In other, completely unrelated news... I find myself day-dreaming more frequently and more intensely than I used to. It sometimes relates to what I'm doing and sometimes it has nothing to do with what's going on around me... but I'm literally sucked out of what's going on, and I start thinking about what could be or what should be. After the election I spent some time thinking about what I could do to make people listen to reason... and, in my mind, became an influential political force. Or I let my mind float to Las Vegas where Ken and I spend countless hours catching up on things and acting like brothers, while "saving the earth" from "alien forces"... or I'm at Adam's, thinking how Ken would fit right in if he were here. And so on, you get the drift. I don't know what this means, but I'm starting to think that I should just write down all my day-dreams (as I really don't ever remember my night-dreams). Maybe my creativity is back? Let's hope so.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Beer for Breakfast: Over 24 hours of slight inebriation
Friday afternoon was my Conservatory audition. I, fortunately for me, had an audition slot with both Dave and Adam. Knowing both of them would be there calmed my nerves, a bit. Unfortunately for me, I was also auditioning with Jeremiah... who, if I haven't bitched about before, does pretty much everything that I told my workshop students not to do; yet Jeremiah still gets cast for shows... which boggles my mind. Whatever... there were ten of us in the audition: only one woman, if you want to know how rare female improvisors are. We started by having short, three person scenes. I was matched up with Dave and Jeremiah (because of our last names... how clever). We were given "You're standing around a car"... and away we went. Dave mentioned taking his car to the prom... and then for some reason they ended up taking about how dirty the car's engine was. I hadn't said a word yet, but I knew that we, for some reason, were now talking about the object instead of a relationship (like going to the prom). So I brought it back to the prom, saying something like "So you guys both have dates to the prom, huh? That's cool." Which Dave knew meant to pick up on the fact that I didn't have one. So he mentioned someone that I could date and said that we could go to the prom with him and his date. Jeremiah then interjected unnecessary conflict into the scene... saying things like the car was too small for them all to go, how it was unfair that I was just 'handed' a date, and that he had to go with his second cousin. Dave said he and I could switch, and I supported that by saying Jeremiah's second cousin is hot. To which, he said "But if I go with my second cousin, I know I'm going to get laid"... and scene. Wow, I'm glad he was able to go with such a high-brow joke. We then played freeze tag, and I'm not going to get into much of this... but Jeremiah and I were up first and the line of dialogue we got was "Hand me that other cheese, Al". So I started pantomiming that I was grating cheese. Jeremiah completely ignored me and started doing something else. So I threw the cheese I was holding away and said the line. What a dipshit this guy is. I also was frozen out after one word... one letter actually... I said "I" and got frozen. I f--king hate that! If we're playing freeze tag, let me get out one full sentence; don't freeze me before you know if it's going to be any good, because you don't know what I'm about to say.
Well... as far as the audition as a whole is concerned, the fifteen minutes went quiet quickly. I told Dave and Adam afterwards that I felt like I didn't really set myself apart... I didn't impress anyone, but I also didn't feel like I made any mistakes. We'll see what they're looking for in 10 days.
I then had a few hours before the opening night of The Assistant Director's Cut. Like I mentioned before, we were double-billed with Triplette. So we had an audience of about 61 people... but I would say almost all of them were there to see the other show. Because of that, we got a few laughs... but not as many as I felt were in that show. The show was over before I knew it (seems to be the way the day went). It went well, but (as I'm most critical of myself) I could've done better.
After the show, the cast went to North Town Tap (or some bar like that). I got myself a beer, and then other cast members bought me beers... and I'm not sure how many I had. I hadn't eaten since breakfast (the audition made me nervous), so I really didn't have food in me, either. Anyway, at one point, Robert was giving me a note on the show and I "pretended" to break a bottle and stab him... and I actually ended up breaking his glass and spilling it on him (in his dress clothes) and his leather jacket. Smooth, huh? That's when I knew I should leave. Fortunately, Adam called me and said anyone in the cast could come in and get free ice cream if we wanted. I told everybody about it... but nobody wanted ice cream. Hell, I'll take IC. So I went to the Stone and Adam made me something nice. After that, I went over to Adam's to play Halo 2. He thought it was hilarious that I was "kinda drunk"... and told me to keep drinking or else I'd feel bad. I humored him by taking a beer, but I put it down and didn't touch it. I was feeling really tired, so I just slept over at Adam and Chip's.
When I woke up there it was really weird because I've never been there during the day. I thought "Wow... there's sun in here, weird." I wanted some breakfast, but they didn't have any food. So we had beer for breakfast (3 16-ozs). Yeah... they are terrible influences on me. Especially since we spent at least an hour trying to figure out how we could get wings delievered to the apartment so we wouldn't have to leave. There was no restaurant good enough that would deliver, so we went out to eat... at the finest place for wings in the country: We went to Hooters for lunch.
Going to Hooters with two other 20-something males lends itself to not the most politically correct conversations. Fortunately for us, there was football on... so we could just watch it and not be huge sexist bastards. We ended up splitting the 50 Wing plate... and it was fun (even though I don't like the wings at Hooters).
But Halo 2 was calling... and that's what we did after lunch. We went to Target and Chip bought his own copy of Halo 2. We have big plans to have two XBoxes, two tvs and play Halo 2 linked (which would make half a screen for everybody... which seems like a lot after playing it on a quarter of a screen).
At around 9 I went back to my apartment for the first time in over a day. I had just enough time to take a nap, get some food, and shower... then it was out for a night of Karaokee at "Trader Tom's." I'd never been there before, but I hear they do karaokee every single day. I went there with Greg, Casie, Brian, and Kelly... and that place was PACKED. I figured it had to be a fire hazard, because there were people everywhere. There were so many people that the wait for singing was "at least an hour", the dude said. So, after being bought two beers and two shots... I was pretty well done with drinking and other people for a while.
Sunday morning was the first official rehearsal of Basically Awesome. We blocked two of the bigger scenes, and started blocking one of the songs. Keith is excited because he thinks the show has a real chance of being basically awesome.
Sunday also marks the day that Owen moves in with Adam and Chip. They go way back with Owen, so, even though he's the new guy to me... and the new guy to Chicago... I'm still the new guy. I'm going to have to get to know ANOTHER new person, but I'm still going to feel like the odd man out. That's not so fun. But at least he'll probably play Halo 2 with us. With two TVs. And two XBoxes. We're awesome.
Friday afternoon was my Conservatory audition. I, fortunately for me, had an audition slot with both Dave and Adam. Knowing both of them would be there calmed my nerves, a bit. Unfortunately for me, I was also auditioning with Jeremiah... who, if I haven't bitched about before, does pretty much everything that I told my workshop students not to do; yet Jeremiah still gets cast for shows... which boggles my mind. Whatever... there were ten of us in the audition: only one woman, if you want to know how rare female improvisors are. We started by having short, three person scenes. I was matched up with Dave and Jeremiah (because of our last names... how clever). We were given "You're standing around a car"... and away we went. Dave mentioned taking his car to the prom... and then for some reason they ended up taking about how dirty the car's engine was. I hadn't said a word yet, but I knew that we, for some reason, were now talking about the object instead of a relationship (like going to the prom). So I brought it back to the prom, saying something like "So you guys both have dates to the prom, huh? That's cool." Which Dave knew meant to pick up on the fact that I didn't have one. So he mentioned someone that I could date and said that we could go to the prom with him and his date. Jeremiah then interjected unnecessary conflict into the scene... saying things like the car was too small for them all to go, how it was unfair that I was just 'handed' a date, and that he had to go with his second cousin. Dave said he and I could switch, and I supported that by saying Jeremiah's second cousin is hot. To which, he said "But if I go with my second cousin, I know I'm going to get laid"... and scene. Wow, I'm glad he was able to go with such a high-brow joke. We then played freeze tag, and I'm not going to get into much of this... but Jeremiah and I were up first and the line of dialogue we got was "Hand me that other cheese, Al". So I started pantomiming that I was grating cheese. Jeremiah completely ignored me and started doing something else. So I threw the cheese I was holding away and said the line. What a dipshit this guy is. I also was frozen out after one word... one letter actually... I said "I" and got frozen. I f--king hate that! If we're playing freeze tag, let me get out one full sentence; don't freeze me before you know if it's going to be any good, because you don't know what I'm about to say.
Well... as far as the audition as a whole is concerned, the fifteen minutes went quiet quickly. I told Dave and Adam afterwards that I felt like I didn't really set myself apart... I didn't impress anyone, but I also didn't feel like I made any mistakes. We'll see what they're looking for in 10 days.
I then had a few hours before the opening night of The Assistant Director's Cut. Like I mentioned before, we were double-billed with Triplette. So we had an audience of about 61 people... but I would say almost all of them were there to see the other show. Because of that, we got a few laughs... but not as many as I felt were in that show. The show was over before I knew it (seems to be the way the day went). It went well, but (as I'm most critical of myself) I could've done better.
After the show, the cast went to North Town Tap (or some bar like that). I got myself a beer, and then other cast members bought me beers... and I'm not sure how many I had. I hadn't eaten since breakfast (the audition made me nervous), so I really didn't have food in me, either. Anyway, at one point, Robert was giving me a note on the show and I "pretended" to break a bottle and stab him... and I actually ended up breaking his glass and spilling it on him (in his dress clothes) and his leather jacket. Smooth, huh? That's when I knew I should leave. Fortunately, Adam called me and said anyone in the cast could come in and get free ice cream if we wanted. I told everybody about it... but nobody wanted ice cream. Hell, I'll take IC. So I went to the Stone and Adam made me something nice. After that, I went over to Adam's to play Halo 2. He thought it was hilarious that I was "kinda drunk"... and told me to keep drinking or else I'd feel bad. I humored him by taking a beer, but I put it down and didn't touch it. I was feeling really tired, so I just slept over at Adam and Chip's.
When I woke up there it was really weird because I've never been there during the day. I thought "Wow... there's sun in here, weird." I wanted some breakfast, but they didn't have any food. So we had beer for breakfast (3 16-ozs). Yeah... they are terrible influences on me. Especially since we spent at least an hour trying to figure out how we could get wings delievered to the apartment so we wouldn't have to leave. There was no restaurant good enough that would deliver, so we went out to eat... at the finest place for wings in the country: We went to Hooters for lunch.
Going to Hooters with two other 20-something males lends itself to not the most politically correct conversations. Fortunately for us, there was football on... so we could just watch it and not be huge sexist bastards. We ended up splitting the 50 Wing plate... and it was fun (even though I don't like the wings at Hooters).
But Halo 2 was calling... and that's what we did after lunch. We went to Target and Chip bought his own copy of Halo 2. We have big plans to have two XBoxes, two tvs and play Halo 2 linked (which would make half a screen for everybody... which seems like a lot after playing it on a quarter of a screen).
At around 9 I went back to my apartment for the first time in over a day. I had just enough time to take a nap, get some food, and shower... then it was out for a night of Karaokee at "Trader Tom's." I'd never been there before, but I hear they do karaokee every single day. I went there with Greg, Casie, Brian, and Kelly... and that place was PACKED. I figured it had to be a fire hazard, because there were people everywhere. There were so many people that the wait for singing was "at least an hour", the dude said. So, after being bought two beers and two shots... I was pretty well done with drinking and other people for a while.
Sunday morning was the first official rehearsal of Basically Awesome. We blocked two of the bigger scenes, and started blocking one of the songs. Keith is excited because he thinks the show has a real chance of being basically awesome.
Sunday also marks the day that Owen moves in with Adam and Chip. They go way back with Owen, so, even though he's the new guy to me... and the new guy to Chicago... I'm still the new guy. I'm going to have to get to know ANOTHER new person, but I'm still going to feel like the odd man out. That's not so fun. But at least he'll probably play Halo 2 with us. With two TVs. And two XBoxes. We're awesome.
Friday, November 12, 2004
"What've you got?", "Dead dog", "I didn't do that"
It's been a month and a half since I was fired, and I'm finally feeling like me again. I noticed this a few days ago... I'm just generally a lot happier than I was two months ago. I might actually describe myself as content: my first year of classes is almost over; I'm getting asked (not auditioning for, just getting asked) to be in shows; and I've got some pretty nice, loyal, and fun friends here. I no longer worry about taking my phone with me everywhere because I might get a business call... I don't worry about making sure I'm accessible, just in case there's trouble at work... none of that. I can be as reclusive as I want... and I want to be reclusive. Sound good? All right.
It also marks the month and a half since I was made to feel truly crazy for the first time in my life. And, because I didn't feel like I was crazy, but other people thought I was, I've been thinking ever since then: who decides what/who is crazy? I mean, what kind of criteria exist for sanity. Wednesday night on the red line, there was a woman talking very loudly about her "babies", her "loved ones"... and she would say the same thing about four times... pause until the next stop, then, as we were stopping... say the something else about four or five times. "Need to make an important phone call"... "They's my babies... my loved ones"... "I gave birth to them... a little boy and a little girl, my babies, my loved ones" and so on. I sat and listened to her, and I thought to myself "In her head, this conversation is necessary." To me, that's the most interesting and scary part: a "crazy" person doesn't know they're crazy... everything in their head makes sense. "When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading Guns and Ammo, masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go 'Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am'?" (Se7en) I think about what we know now about germs and sanitation, or space travel... then put one of us in the dark ages and we're crazy, right? Even though germs make sense to us in our head... we can't prove it, and few of us could even accurately describe it. Which makes me think, is there a sanity relativism like a moral relativism? My moral relativism example: Killing someone is wrong, unless they're attacking you or your loved ones, etc. So, perhaps, certain things are "crazy," unless we understand the circumstances. Talking to yourself is "crazy"... except we don't think Tom Hanks has gone insane in Castaway, or do we? We recognize that he's spent years by himself and it is then okay for him to talk to a volleyball, to feel like he's having a normal conversation. All I'm saying is that maybe we don't always know everything...
180 degrees later... here's something nice. I met with Keith, Dave, Amy, and Adam on Tuesday night. We went over everything that we'd need to know to get our loot together for our show opening in January. We even came up with a name: BASICALLY AWESOME! I think that name is five shades of sweetness... and I think there's marketing to do with shirts that say "We're Basically Awesome." We also might go with a Dr. Seuss theme to the marketing... as it has to do with one of our sketches. And everyone loves Dr. Seuss... he's the guy from that musical. What's it called? Cats, I think. At any rate, I honestly can't wait to perform (this one's the Sunday night one... just keep that in mind).
Wednesday, I went to Best Buy in the afternoon and I bought Halo 2. After one day of craziness (that's relative, of course), I had no problem at all waltzing (trust me) in and out of Best Buy. I was even able to get the Halo 2 collector's edition... they had two left. How smart do I look now? Huh? Just a little patients goes a long way. Remember that, kiddies. In ADDITION, because I got the collector's edition (or maybe because I bought another controller... I don't know), they gave me a $10 gift certificate. Just gave it to me... how weird is that? So guess who's getting Eminem's new CD next week for damn near free?! Me, bitches, me!
Wednesday night, after rehearsal, I went to Kasey's Tavern to celebrate Casie's 21st birthday (the joke has already been made and beaten to death, don't even think about it). Casie, though I love her like my own, is one of those people who drinks to "forget." You know what I mean, too... they drink until they're drunk, thinking that they'll forget about why they started drinking when they're drunk, only to keep TALKING and TALKING about it when they're drunk. In her defense, if what happened to her happened to me... I'd be sloshed times two on my 21st birthday. She had two best friends: a male best friend and a female best friend. The male best friend killed himself, and the female best friend was killed by a drunk driver (all of this happened pretty recently, from what I could gather). Yes, the irony of the drunk driver killing her friend and then she, herself, was drunk was pointed out... by Casie, herself (herself herself). I think it was probably just something else she told herself to feel shitty... that's what drunk people do, I hear... and as if she wasn't feeling shitty enough all ready. Thank God for her that she had Kelly there. Kelly is one of those amazing friends who will take care of you, no matter how stupid you've been. Kelly's awesome... and they left together and Kelly walked her all the way home.
Thursday I went over to Adam's and Chip, Adam, and I played multiplayer Halo 2 for pretty much the entire night. I mean, I ate there--Chip bought those chicken kicker things from Domino's... because we're all addicted--and we just kept killing each other. It was fun... and made me miss nights with Ken and Jason in my basement... not killing each other, but just killing Ken because he's a tool.
Speaking of killing me, I woke up this morning to the sounds of my neighbors having sex. Yes, this is a first. And it doesn't make sense that they would be engaged in such an activity on a Friday morning at around 9:30. Shouldn't one of the two of them have work on a Friday? Now that I think of it... I may have heard them once before, but I just figured I was hearing things. I WAS hearing things... and that commonly-used phrase doesn't actually make sense. Huh. But, at any rate, I feel bad for the young lady because the noises didn't last very long. I felt like going over and knocking on the door and asking "Ready for round two? This one'll easily last longer than four minutes, I promise."
Finally, this afternoon is the moment I've been waiting for an entire year for... my Conservatory audition at The Second City. I am SO nervous... I don't even know where to start. I've seen some pretty crappy people go through the program... so I feel like I shouldn't worry; but I've also seen some 'good' people not get roles and do really poorly in auditions here before. I'm just really nervous because, if I don't do well, that means another couple months in this city before I can audition again. There is no way I can handle that financially. I am going to have to get another job in January, regardless of what happens in the audition... but I'll have to find holiday work (yuck!) if I fail this audition process. I can't help but think that everything I've been working for rests on this audition. That's probably not a good way to think about this. Good thing I'll have Adam with me... he can calm me down, keep me loose and upbeat. *shakes head* This is it, kids. Wish me luck.
Now it's time for the useless fact of the day: Jake Gyllenhaal is only nine days older than I am (9!). While Elijah Wood is exactly one month younger than I am. One month... and look how much more he's done with himself than I have. Son of a bitch.
It's been a month and a half since I was fired, and I'm finally feeling like me again. I noticed this a few days ago... I'm just generally a lot happier than I was two months ago. I might actually describe myself as content: my first year of classes is almost over; I'm getting asked (not auditioning for, just getting asked) to be in shows; and I've got some pretty nice, loyal, and fun friends here. I no longer worry about taking my phone with me everywhere because I might get a business call... I don't worry about making sure I'm accessible, just in case there's trouble at work... none of that. I can be as reclusive as I want... and I want to be reclusive. Sound good? All right.
It also marks the month and a half since I was made to feel truly crazy for the first time in my life. And, because I didn't feel like I was crazy, but other people thought I was, I've been thinking ever since then: who decides what/who is crazy? I mean, what kind of criteria exist for sanity. Wednesday night on the red line, there was a woman talking very loudly about her "babies", her "loved ones"... and she would say the same thing about four times... pause until the next stop, then, as we were stopping... say the something else about four or five times. "Need to make an important phone call"... "They's my babies... my loved ones"... "I gave birth to them... a little boy and a little girl, my babies, my loved ones" and so on. I sat and listened to her, and I thought to myself "In her head, this conversation is necessary." To me, that's the most interesting and scary part: a "crazy" person doesn't know they're crazy... everything in their head makes sense. "When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading Guns and Ammo, masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go 'Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am'?" (Se7en) I think about what we know now about germs and sanitation, or space travel... then put one of us in the dark ages and we're crazy, right? Even though germs make sense to us in our head... we can't prove it, and few of us could even accurately describe it. Which makes me think, is there a sanity relativism like a moral relativism? My moral relativism example: Killing someone is wrong, unless they're attacking you or your loved ones, etc. So, perhaps, certain things are "crazy," unless we understand the circumstances. Talking to yourself is "crazy"... except we don't think Tom Hanks has gone insane in Castaway, or do we? We recognize that he's spent years by himself and it is then okay for him to talk to a volleyball, to feel like he's having a normal conversation. All I'm saying is that maybe we don't always know everything...
180 degrees later... here's something nice. I met with Keith, Dave, Amy, and Adam on Tuesday night. We went over everything that we'd need to know to get our loot together for our show opening in January. We even came up with a name: BASICALLY AWESOME! I think that name is five shades of sweetness... and I think there's marketing to do with shirts that say "We're Basically Awesome." We also might go with a Dr. Seuss theme to the marketing... as it has to do with one of our sketches. And everyone loves Dr. Seuss... he's the guy from that musical. What's it called? Cats, I think. At any rate, I honestly can't wait to perform (this one's the Sunday night one... just keep that in mind).
Wednesday, I went to Best Buy in the afternoon and I bought Halo 2. After one day of craziness (that's relative, of course), I had no problem at all waltzing (trust me) in and out of Best Buy. I was even able to get the Halo 2 collector's edition... they had two left. How smart do I look now? Huh? Just a little patients goes a long way. Remember that, kiddies. In ADDITION, because I got the collector's edition (or maybe because I bought another controller... I don't know), they gave me a $10 gift certificate. Just gave it to me... how weird is that? So guess who's getting Eminem's new CD next week for damn near free?! Me, bitches, me!
Wednesday night, after rehearsal, I went to Kasey's Tavern to celebrate Casie's 21st birthday (the joke has already been made and beaten to death, don't even think about it). Casie, though I love her like my own, is one of those people who drinks to "forget." You know what I mean, too... they drink until they're drunk, thinking that they'll forget about why they started drinking when they're drunk, only to keep TALKING and TALKING about it when they're drunk. In her defense, if what happened to her happened to me... I'd be sloshed times two on my 21st birthday. She had two best friends: a male best friend and a female best friend. The male best friend killed himself, and the female best friend was killed by a drunk driver (all of this happened pretty recently, from what I could gather). Yes, the irony of the drunk driver killing her friend and then she, herself, was drunk was pointed out... by Casie, herself (herself herself). I think it was probably just something else she told herself to feel shitty... that's what drunk people do, I hear... and as if she wasn't feeling shitty enough all ready. Thank God for her that she had Kelly there. Kelly is one of those amazing friends who will take care of you, no matter how stupid you've been. Kelly's awesome... and they left together and Kelly walked her all the way home.
Thursday I went over to Adam's and Chip, Adam, and I played multiplayer Halo 2 for pretty much the entire night. I mean, I ate there--Chip bought those chicken kicker things from Domino's... because we're all addicted--and we just kept killing each other. It was fun... and made me miss nights with Ken and Jason in my basement... not killing each other, but just killing Ken because he's a tool.
Speaking of killing me, I woke up this morning to the sounds of my neighbors having sex. Yes, this is a first. And it doesn't make sense that they would be engaged in such an activity on a Friday morning at around 9:30. Shouldn't one of the two of them have work on a Friday? Now that I think of it... I may have heard them once before, but I just figured I was hearing things. I WAS hearing things... and that commonly-used phrase doesn't actually make sense. Huh. But, at any rate, I feel bad for the young lady because the noises didn't last very long. I felt like going over and knocking on the door and asking "Ready for round two? This one'll easily last longer than four minutes, I promise."
Finally, this afternoon is the moment I've been waiting for an entire year for... my Conservatory audition at The Second City. I am SO nervous... I don't even know where to start. I've seen some pretty crappy people go through the program... so I feel like I shouldn't worry; but I've also seen some 'good' people not get roles and do really poorly in auditions here before. I'm just really nervous because, if I don't do well, that means another couple months in this city before I can audition again. There is no way I can handle that financially. I am going to have to get another job in January, regardless of what happens in the audition... but I'll have to find holiday work (yuck!) if I fail this audition process. I can't help but think that everything I've been working for rests on this audition. That's probably not a good way to think about this. Good thing I'll have Adam with me... he can calm me down, keep me loose and upbeat. *shakes head* This is it, kids. Wish me luck.
Now it's time for the useless fact of the day: Jake Gyllenhaal is only nine days older than I am (9!). While Elijah Wood is exactly one month younger than I am. One month... and look how much more he's done with himself than I have. Son of a bitch.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Halo 2 Day
From what I hear, the Best Buy on North Avenue was open at midnight last night... and there were 8,000 people there. Eight THOUSAND people... to pick up a video game. I'll admit, I really want to pick up the game today... but I don't think I want to brave the crowds. Besides, I promised SS Kenny Hoots that I wouldn't play through the game without him. And I'm not going to. That game is for him and I... it was made for 'losers' like us. I put losers in quotes so that I could trick you into thinking I wasn't a loser.
But then stuff like this happens... I watch the Halo National Championship on G4TechTV. But I stopped watching it pretty soon after I started because it turned out to be lame (even for me).
Speaking of lame and video games... check this out. Yesterday, I thought to myself "Wouldn't it be cool to have a team with only rookies?" So I created a team in Madden 2005 that I put in Milwaukee and I dubbed the "Genuine Draft" ('Draft' is a pun, get it?). They play at Miller Genuine Stadium, and their uniforms are a beer yellow and brown (like Western, except less like excrement). I then put them into the 'franchise' mode in place of my Packers (so I don't ever have to play against my beloved Pack). Man... I think I'm so f--king clever. Now I have to decide who starts: Manning or Roethelisberger? Jackson, Perry, or Jones? Fitzgerald, Williams, or Williams? etc.
Now, having nothing to do with anything, we had our tech rehearsal last night for The Assistant Director's Cut. Yes, we've only got 25 minutes, so it might not be worth anyone coming from out of state to see... but it's going to be a fun, funny show... and we're referencing at least 16 different films in the 25 minutes (blackouts are easier when you don't have to create a character... we're using already well-known characters). We're double-billed with a group called TripLette. They're three young women who do... something... I'm not even sure what their show is about. But, for some reason, they get 35 minutes while we only get 25. Why did Donny's Skybox break up the hour like that? I have no idea... but Triplette is going to be pissed because we're going to be over 25 minutes consistently.
From what I hear, the Best Buy on North Avenue was open at midnight last night... and there were 8,000 people there. Eight THOUSAND people... to pick up a video game. I'll admit, I really want to pick up the game today... but I don't think I want to brave the crowds. Besides, I promised SS Kenny Hoots that I wouldn't play through the game without him. And I'm not going to. That game is for him and I... it was made for 'losers' like us. I put losers in quotes so that I could trick you into thinking I wasn't a loser.
But then stuff like this happens... I watch the Halo National Championship on G4TechTV. But I stopped watching it pretty soon after I started because it turned out to be lame (even for me).
Speaking of lame and video games... check this out. Yesterday, I thought to myself "Wouldn't it be cool to have a team with only rookies?" So I created a team in Madden 2005 that I put in Milwaukee and I dubbed the "Genuine Draft" ('Draft' is a pun, get it?). They play at Miller Genuine Stadium, and their uniforms are a beer yellow and brown (like Western, except less like excrement). I then put them into the 'franchise' mode in place of my Packers (so I don't ever have to play against my beloved Pack). Man... I think I'm so f--king clever. Now I have to decide who starts: Manning or Roethelisberger? Jackson, Perry, or Jones? Fitzgerald, Williams, or Williams? etc.
Now, having nothing to do with anything, we had our tech rehearsal last night for The Assistant Director's Cut. Yes, we've only got 25 minutes, so it might not be worth anyone coming from out of state to see... but it's going to be a fun, funny show... and we're referencing at least 16 different films in the 25 minutes (blackouts are easier when you don't have to create a character... we're using already well-known characters). We're double-billed with a group called TripLette. They're three young women who do... something... I'm not even sure what their show is about. But, for some reason, they get 35 minutes while we only get 25. Why did Donny's Skybox break up the hour like that? I have no idea... but Triplette is going to be pissed because we're going to be over 25 minutes consistently.
Monday, November 08, 2004
Martha Stewart as my mom, and other great dreams
I like hitting the snooze alarm in the morning because it allows me to restart dreams or have completely new, short ones (like vignettes or something). Well, this morning, one of the weirder dreams was that I visited Martha Stewart in prison. The weird part wasn't just that I was visiting Martha Stewart, it was that I was treating her like she was my mom: I was hugging her very tightly, telling her that I missed her, and honestly feeling that I was missing her. Then she didn't talk like Martha Stewart... she sounded like Martha Stewart, but she didn't talk like her--she talked like my mom. And she was telling me all the nice things about prison, and the interesting people she'd met. And I wanted to cry because I missed her so much, and I felt so bad that she had been incarcerated. And that was it... the snooze wore off and the alarm sounded again. Weird, huh? Not quite sure what to make of it, but I've never really identified Martha Stewart as a mother-figure before. She's even got (from what I hear) a really shitty relationship with her daughter... so whatever.
Maybe the reason I had Martha Stewart on the brain is that I baked two (yes two) pumpkin pies last night while watching the Sunday night line-up on Fox. I have had most of the ingredients for pumpkin pie here in my apartment for a while now, I just haven't had the pie crusts... until yesterday when I thought to myself "fuck it! I'm makin' pumpkin pie." And I did. I had to sample one of the pies to make sure it was edible, a tough job... but necessary. And they're not bad at all. The incomparable Miss Chelsea Sadler suggested lots and lots of cool whip... which is totally a good idea and something I don't have (good ideas or cool whip? you decide!). I think I might give the second pie to Adam and his roommate Chip, as they've been feeding me randomly for weeks now (and stupid Chip has got me addicted to those Chicken Kickers at Dominos... soooo good!). Tangentially, I'm so addicted to Dominos now that I signed up for that online ordering thing... and I ordered some Saturday night. Domino's is literally a block away from me... so I was eating pizza about 13 minutes after I ordered it, and I barely had to move. I love this country.
What was I talking about? Oh! Martha Stewart! No... I was done with her. Pies? I think I was done with that, too. Fox Sunday! Yes... okay... so I hate reality TV shows, right? But I actually think that I might watch My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss. I started watching it, because the whole thing was filmed in Chicago. And I kept watching it because I HATE people like the contestants on the show. They started the contestants off with some champagne and hors d'oeuvres... and cut to the contestants talking about how good "rich, expensive champagne" can taste, and how the hors d'oeuvres tasted like "what a billionaire would eat" and then they showed the hors d'oeuvres being prepared and it was like bologna processed and squirted onto crackers, and that cheese in an aerosol bottle, and fucking Spam... yep, Spam. I hope these ass-kissing fake-ass (then what are they REALLY kissing?) bastards are forced to do the most demeaning things in the world. And I HATE the Bob dude who survived the first elimination... he's such a 'yes-man'. I think I might really like this show... take THAT Ivy League Economics majors!
I like hitting the snooze alarm in the morning because it allows me to restart dreams or have completely new, short ones (like vignettes or something). Well, this morning, one of the weirder dreams was that I visited Martha Stewart in prison. The weird part wasn't just that I was visiting Martha Stewart, it was that I was treating her like she was my mom: I was hugging her very tightly, telling her that I missed her, and honestly feeling that I was missing her. Then she didn't talk like Martha Stewart... she sounded like Martha Stewart, but she didn't talk like her--she talked like my mom. And she was telling me all the nice things about prison, and the interesting people she'd met. And I wanted to cry because I missed her so much, and I felt so bad that she had been incarcerated. And that was it... the snooze wore off and the alarm sounded again. Weird, huh? Not quite sure what to make of it, but I've never really identified Martha Stewart as a mother-figure before. She's even got (from what I hear) a really shitty relationship with her daughter... so whatever.
Maybe the reason I had Martha Stewart on the brain is that I baked two (yes two) pumpkin pies last night while watching the Sunday night line-up on Fox. I have had most of the ingredients for pumpkin pie here in my apartment for a while now, I just haven't had the pie crusts... until yesterday when I thought to myself "fuck it! I'm makin' pumpkin pie." And I did. I had to sample one of the pies to make sure it was edible, a tough job... but necessary. And they're not bad at all. The incomparable Miss Chelsea Sadler suggested lots and lots of cool whip... which is totally a good idea and something I don't have (good ideas or cool whip? you decide!). I think I might give the second pie to Adam and his roommate Chip, as they've been feeding me randomly for weeks now (and stupid Chip has got me addicted to those Chicken Kickers at Dominos... soooo good!). Tangentially, I'm so addicted to Dominos now that I signed up for that online ordering thing... and I ordered some Saturday night. Domino's is literally a block away from me... so I was eating pizza about 13 minutes after I ordered it, and I barely had to move. I love this country.
What was I talking about? Oh! Martha Stewart! No... I was done with her. Pies? I think I was done with that, too. Fox Sunday! Yes... okay... so I hate reality TV shows, right? But I actually think that I might watch My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss. I started watching it, because the whole thing was filmed in Chicago. And I kept watching it because I HATE people like the contestants on the show. They started the contestants off with some champagne and hors d'oeuvres... and cut to the contestants talking about how good "rich, expensive champagne" can taste, and how the hors d'oeuvres tasted like "what a billionaire would eat" and then they showed the hors d'oeuvres being prepared and it was like bologna processed and squirted onto crackers, and that cheese in an aerosol bottle, and fucking Spam... yep, Spam. I hope these ass-kissing fake-ass (then what are they REALLY kissing?) bastards are forced to do the most demeaning things in the world. And I HATE the Bob dude who survived the first elimination... he's such a 'yes-man'. I think I might really like this show... take THAT Ivy League Economics majors!
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Assistant Director's Cut
My AD's Cut show opens this upcoming Friday night. The head writer asked us to come up with fake movie trivia. Here's what I came up with:
DID YOU KNOW?:
The Matrix was originally a movie about rogue, human killing printers call Dot Matrix
Dude, Where’s My Car? Was actually a remake of the 1960s British farce Pardon me Chap, But Do You Recall Where I Parked My Automobile?
The movie Chicago was actually based on a stage musical. That musical was called The King and I
Philadelphia was originally set in San Francisco, but producers thought the title would have been confusing
The Jurassic Park series was originally call Triassic Park, but producers wanted to appeal to a younger audience
THE LIST
While Schindler’s List the movie is very long (3 HRs, 17 Mins), the real life list the movie was based on was only about a page and a half
Steven Spielburg, the director of Schindler’s List, was unable to get permission to film inside Auschwitz, so the scenes of the death camp were actually filmed at a L.A. Clippers game
FILM FLUBS!
Even though they’re called The Breakfast Club, the meal that they eat during detention is lunch
STAR WARS
In A New Hope, Harrison Ford deliberately didn’t learn his lines for the intercom conversation in the cell block because he felt the film was going to be a “fuckin’ flop”
My AD's Cut show opens this upcoming Friday night. The head writer asked us to come up with fake movie trivia. Here's what I came up with:
DID YOU KNOW?:
The Matrix was originally a movie about rogue, human killing printers call Dot Matrix
Dude, Where’s My Car? Was actually a remake of the 1960s British farce Pardon me Chap, But Do You Recall Where I Parked My Automobile?
The movie Chicago was actually based on a stage musical. That musical was called The King and I
Philadelphia was originally set in San Francisco, but producers thought the title would have been confusing
The Jurassic Park series was originally call Triassic Park, but producers wanted to appeal to a younger audience
THE LIST
While Schindler’s List the movie is very long (3 HRs, 17 Mins), the real life list the movie was based on was only about a page and a half
Steven Spielburg, the director of Schindler’s List, was unable to get permission to film inside Auschwitz, so the scenes of the death camp were actually filmed at a L.A. Clippers game
FILM FLUBS!
Even though they’re called The Breakfast Club, the meal that they eat during detention is lunch
STAR WARS
In A New Hope, Harrison Ford deliberately didn’t learn his lines for the intercom conversation in the cell block because he felt the film was going to be a “fuckin’ flop”
Fox NFL Sunday in Detroit
With no Packers game this weekend, and the Fox Sunday crew in Detroit, I was looking forward to watching the Lions game early, the Bears game late, and the Vikings game tomorrow night. But, alas, the market in Chicago isn't showing an early Fox game... it's showing "Die Hard 2: The Crappy One at the Airport." Additionally, the only early game I'm getting is the Kansas City/Tampa Bay game. Ooo... I'm SOOO interested in that one. Add to that the fact that both Fox and CBS are showing me Terrell Owens, and talking about TO, and just feeding his huge ego making him want to continue to do stupid feces on the field. TO is an idiot... and I think that he honestly doesn't understand why someone would think he's a shithead, and that's the saddest part of his story.
God I hate watching Irvin and Young on ESPN... It's like listening to Crossfire or something. They're just always so animated about how wrong each other are. AH! That's so boring!
Okay! Here's something that ticks me off. The Fox guys are in Detroit this weekend... not because the Lions are playing really well this year, but because Fox has an agreement with Ford. That's right... it's the stadium that they're going to Detroit for, not the team. That makes me sick. Then the Fox crew started off sucking up to the crowd, and then proceeded to completely ignore the Lions for almost the rest of the show. Wow... thanks Fox guys. Why not come to Chicago to see Soldier Field? You could have the show on Navy Pier and completely ignore the Bears game. Sound good? Yeah... maybe I'll just ignore the early games and play Madden.
With no Packers game this weekend, and the Fox Sunday crew in Detroit, I was looking forward to watching the Lions game early, the Bears game late, and the Vikings game tomorrow night. But, alas, the market in Chicago isn't showing an early Fox game... it's showing "Die Hard 2: The Crappy One at the Airport." Additionally, the only early game I'm getting is the Kansas City/Tampa Bay game. Ooo... I'm SOOO interested in that one. Add to that the fact that both Fox and CBS are showing me Terrell Owens, and talking about TO, and just feeding his huge ego making him want to continue to do stupid feces on the field. TO is an idiot... and I think that he honestly doesn't understand why someone would think he's a shithead, and that's the saddest part of his story.
God I hate watching Irvin and Young on ESPN... It's like listening to Crossfire or something. They're just always so animated about how wrong each other are. AH! That's so boring!
Okay! Here's something that ticks me off. The Fox guys are in Detroit this weekend... not because the Lions are playing really well this year, but because Fox has an agreement with Ford. That's right... it's the stadium that they're going to Detroit for, not the team. That makes me sick. Then the Fox crew started off sucking up to the crowd, and then proceeded to completely ignore the Lions for almost the rest of the show. Wow... thanks Fox guys. Why not come to Chicago to see Soldier Field? You could have the show on Navy Pier and completely ignore the Bears game. Sound good? Yeah... maybe I'll just ignore the early games and play Madden.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Not quite nightmares...
What kept me awake later than I wanted to be last night weren't nightmares, but they might as well have been. What happened to me last night I'm sure has happened to all of you before, it just seemed odd to have happened last night as there was no reason for it to occur. What happened was that I started thinking about everything I've ever done wrong... everyone I've ever hurt... and all the wrong choices I've made. One instance just popped into my head, and it led to another and another... and, before I knew it, it was already 4 in the morning. I apologize to anyone who has experienced this phenomenon... and I should also apologize for anyone reading this who had an instance in mind when I mentioned people I've hurt. Perhaps the worst part is that I didn't ever mean to hurt anyone... and that doesn't matter.
What kept me awake later than I wanted to be last night weren't nightmares, but they might as well have been. What happened to me last night I'm sure has happened to all of you before, it just seemed odd to have happened last night as there was no reason for it to occur. What happened was that I started thinking about everything I've ever done wrong... everyone I've ever hurt... and all the wrong choices I've made. One instance just popped into my head, and it led to another and another... and, before I knew it, it was already 4 in the morning. I apologize to anyone who has experienced this phenomenon... and I should also apologize for anyone reading this who had an instance in mind when I mentioned people I've hurt. Perhaps the worst part is that I didn't ever mean to hurt anyone... and that doesn't matter.
Friday, November 05, 2004
A new project
I just wanted to let everyone know about a new project that I'm working on. It's a political blog called "of the people, by the people, for the people." I've posted a link to it at the top of my links, but you can also view it here. We hope to focus on education in this country and really make people think. Hopefully it will be a forum for intelligent political thought. I also hope that we won't be completely cornered into only talking about education. But, I've always got this page as a forum if I really want to talk about anything.
BTW Feel free to let me know if you're interested in contributing to our blog. I think we're still looking for people to post. *shrug* I'm excited about it.
I just wanted to let everyone know about a new project that I'm working on. It's a political blog called "of the people, by the people, for the people." I've posted a link to it at the top of my links, but you can also view it here. We hope to focus on education in this country and really make people think. Hopefully it will be a forum for intelligent political thought. I also hope that we won't be completely cornered into only talking about education. But, I've always got this page as a forum if I really want to talk about anything.
BTW Feel free to let me know if you're interested in contributing to our blog. I think we're still looking for people to post. *shrug* I'm excited about it.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Still soaking in the election
Let me get back to the election some other time... as I'm currently compiling the best points/phrases/paragraphs from people's emails/blogs/and conversations. I hope to have something coherent/good by this weekend.
But, for now, here are some random thoughts that you can completely disregard. Wait... I keep forgetting that, as a white-male upper middle class "Christian", age 20-35, you can't disregard anything I say as I'm oppressing everyone. Try to forget then, dear reader, just for a few minutes that I'm oppressing you. Thanks.
I was watching that new show "Drawn Together" on Comedy Central, and I think it's got a chance to be very good. It includes many characters with what could be described as a "politically incorrect" point of view. There's a racist princess who is like a Disney character... she even sang a song in the episode I saw. It was hilarious. I will be the first to admit, the marketing for the show is stupid... "TVs first animated reality show"... but I'm sure that's what the creators had to pitch to "the man" (notice here that earlier we agreed that I am technically "the man"). If you get the chance, check this show out (especially you, Bohne... I think you'll like it).
Speaking of things that don't rationally follow, that "Everyday Italian" chick on Food Network is pretty hot... and I'm trying to figure out why, because I used to find her irritating. She looks a little like Amie, which I find disturbing... but she's really enthusiastic about what she's doing, which I find attractive; she can cook, which I find to be way hot; and she inter-splices Italian into her normal speech, which I can blame on Laura for me finding attractive. She'll be talking normally--you know, like a God-fearin' Christian--and then all of a sudden she'll say "spaghetti" but not like an American, she'll say it all Italian and it catches me off guard and I think to myself "wow... that's hot. Say more Italian things for no reason"... and she does. Perhaps that's why I like her... I tell her what to do and she does it (like a good woman... Ahhh ha ha haaaaa!!!! [It's true])
But enough of being a bastard for no reason... let's talk about something important for once, shall we? I just talked to Keith yesterday, and the show that we were going to put on at the Skybox, but didn't get a time slot for... we just got a time slot for. So we WILL be performing it in 2005. After going through the dates with Keith, I figured something out. I've got THREE shows now starting in January. Let's see if you can figure out what's interesting if I give you the dates:
My Level 5 Writing Show (yet untitled) Friday Nights @ 7:30 PM (I think) starting January 7th and running until February 6th
Equal Opportunity Offenders (the one I'm just acting in) Saturday Nights @ 10:30 PM January 15th through February 14th
Yet Untitled Skybox Show (writing for and acting in) Sunday Nights @ 8 PM January 2nd through January 23rd
Notice anything odd? You got it, there are a couple of weekends when I'll be involved in a production at the Skybox Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. It'll be all John Steeno all the time. Which I'm sure pleases the ladies.
The Assistant Director's Cut opens a week from tomorrow and last night's rehearsal went pretty well. I'm still working on my lines for one of the scenes, but for everything else, I think I've got it. Wish me luck.
Let me get back to the election some other time... as I'm currently compiling the best points/phrases/paragraphs from people's emails/blogs/and conversations. I hope to have something coherent/good by this weekend.
But, for now, here are some random thoughts that you can completely disregard. Wait... I keep forgetting that, as a white-male upper middle class "Christian", age 20-35, you can't disregard anything I say as I'm oppressing everyone. Try to forget then, dear reader, just for a few minutes that I'm oppressing you. Thanks.
I was watching that new show "Drawn Together" on Comedy Central, and I think it's got a chance to be very good. It includes many characters with what could be described as a "politically incorrect" point of view. There's a racist princess who is like a Disney character... she even sang a song in the episode I saw. It was hilarious. I will be the first to admit, the marketing for the show is stupid... "TVs first animated reality show"... but I'm sure that's what the creators had to pitch to "the man" (notice here that earlier we agreed that I am technically "the man"). If you get the chance, check this show out (especially you, Bohne... I think you'll like it).
Speaking of things that don't rationally follow, that "Everyday Italian" chick on Food Network is pretty hot... and I'm trying to figure out why, because I used to find her irritating. She looks a little like Amie, which I find disturbing... but she's really enthusiastic about what she's doing, which I find attractive; she can cook, which I find to be way hot; and she inter-splices Italian into her normal speech, which I can blame on Laura for me finding attractive. She'll be talking normally--you know, like a God-fearin' Christian--and then all of a sudden she'll say "spaghetti" but not like an American, she'll say it all Italian and it catches me off guard and I think to myself "wow... that's hot. Say more Italian things for no reason"... and she does. Perhaps that's why I like her... I tell her what to do and she does it (like a good woman... Ahhh ha ha haaaaa!!!! [It's true])
But enough of being a bastard for no reason... let's talk about something important for once, shall we? I just talked to Keith yesterday, and the show that we were going to put on at the Skybox, but didn't get a time slot for... we just got a time slot for. So we WILL be performing it in 2005. After going through the dates with Keith, I figured something out. I've got THREE shows now starting in January. Let's see if you can figure out what's interesting if I give you the dates:
My Level 5 Writing Show (yet untitled) Friday Nights @ 7:30 PM (I think) starting January 7th and running until February 6th
Equal Opportunity Offenders (the one I'm just acting in) Saturday Nights @ 10:30 PM January 15th through February 14th
Yet Untitled Skybox Show (writing for and acting in) Sunday Nights @ 8 PM January 2nd through January 23rd
Notice anything odd? You got it, there are a couple of weekends when I'll be involved in a production at the Skybox Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. It'll be all John Steeno all the time. Which I'm sure pleases the ladies.
The Assistant Director's Cut opens a week from tomorrow and last night's rehearsal went pretty well. I'm still working on my lines for one of the scenes, but for everything else, I think I've got it. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
"It's the end of the world as we know it... and I feel like shit"
This morning I had a long chat with Nate. We talked about the election, the future and feeling helpless and hopeless. What was there to do? I made hot chocolate. I'd be eating mac and cheese, if I had it. And I don't think a chocolate binge is far from my future (thank you cheap Halloween candy). As a comfort eater, this seems to make the most sense currently.
When talking about the future, Nate mentioned a man named John Titor... a possible time traveler from the year 2036. Check out some of HIS crazy "rantings" here. Basically, Titor says that a Civil War in the US is coming in 2005 after the 2004 election. He then said, after almost ten years of civil war, WWIII comes in 2015, as Russia nukes some US cities and some places in Europe and China. While Russia rising again to power is something I can't really fathom... another civil war is not.
I need to learn how to shoot a gun. And I'm serious about this. There may come a time in the near future when I'm going to need to know how to save my life.
The dude also mentioned something: "Consider what you would bring with you if you had to leave your home in 10 min. and never return." It's an interesting exercise (an exercise for now): I would probably take clothes; functional warm ones, not my bright "fun" clothes... and I've got a nice set of knives I would take, and I'd take some paper and pens. I think that's it. If I had to leave this place because we were in a Civil War, I don't think I'd need my computer or anything electronic.
(Slightly off topic) If Bush talks about how he has "clearly" won the election, I'm going to be sick. Yes, he won the electoral college... yes, he also won the popular vote... but look at the margin of victory. 51% to 48% of the popular vote is not what I would call a convincing victory. We are literally talking about the difference across the nation being less people than are in the city of Chicago. Think about that for a second... If everyone in Chicago voted again, and for Kerry, he would have won the popular election. So please, "President" Bush... don't sprinkle sugar on my shit and call it a cookie. You are only half of this country's president... which is why the thought of a civil war is becoming more and more a possibility in my head. Unfortunately, the "resistance" is on the West Coast and the north-east... not a very good geographical spread for 'resistance'.
Before I finish, I asked someone to give me her feed-back on the election. But I would like to extend that to everyone. Email me at jpsteeno@yahoo.com and I'll compile everyone's thoughts... and post them coherently. Thank you.
This morning I had a long chat with Nate. We talked about the election, the future and feeling helpless and hopeless. What was there to do? I made hot chocolate. I'd be eating mac and cheese, if I had it. And I don't think a chocolate binge is far from my future (thank you cheap Halloween candy). As a comfort eater, this seems to make the most sense currently.
When talking about the future, Nate mentioned a man named John Titor... a possible time traveler from the year 2036. Check out some of HIS crazy "rantings" here. Basically, Titor says that a Civil War in the US is coming in 2005 after the 2004 election. He then said, after almost ten years of civil war, WWIII comes in 2015, as Russia nukes some US cities and some places in Europe and China. While Russia rising again to power is something I can't really fathom... another civil war is not.
I need to learn how to shoot a gun. And I'm serious about this. There may come a time in the near future when I'm going to need to know how to save my life.
The dude also mentioned something: "Consider what you would bring with you if you had to leave your home in 10 min. and never return." It's an interesting exercise (an exercise for now): I would probably take clothes; functional warm ones, not my bright "fun" clothes... and I've got a nice set of knives I would take, and I'd take some paper and pens. I think that's it. If I had to leave this place because we were in a Civil War, I don't think I'd need my computer or anything electronic.
(Slightly off topic) If Bush talks about how he has "clearly" won the election, I'm going to be sick. Yes, he won the electoral college... yes, he also won the popular vote... but look at the margin of victory. 51% to 48% of the popular vote is not what I would call a convincing victory. We are literally talking about the difference across the nation being less people than are in the city of Chicago. Think about that for a second... If everyone in Chicago voted again, and for Kerry, he would have won the popular election. So please, "President" Bush... don't sprinkle sugar on my shit and call it a cookie. You are only half of this country's president... which is why the thought of a civil war is becoming more and more a possibility in my head. Unfortunately, the "resistance" is on the West Coast and the north-east... not a very good geographical spread for 'resistance'.
Before I finish, I asked someone to give me her feed-back on the election. But I would like to extend that to everyone. Email me at jpsteeno@yahoo.com and I'll compile everyone's thoughts... and post them coherently. Thank you.
Election Day 2004... Disenfranchising a NEW generation of voters
They've just announced that Michigan's 17 electoral votes are projected to go to Kerry... and Minnesota's 10 votes will go to Kerry. This puts Bush at 249 and Kerry at 238. (And Hawaii now goes to Kerry... Bush 249-Kerry 242). While there is still hope, I have come to a radical conclusion: The voting system, in American, needs wholesale changes. We need to scrap the entire voting system and create something new... something that uses current technology... something that allows EVERYONE (not just white people, or people in suburbs) the chance to vote. The fact that we vote on a work day during the week is RIDICULOUS! I was on the red line train (which is a subway near the loop [downtown Chicago]), and I heard two black men talking. They were talking about how long the line was to vote... how hard it was to get out of work to vote... and how many people were probably not going to be able to vote because of the other two reasons. We're not talking about the 1800s here, not everyone has to walk to get to the polls. We should be using the technology that we have at our disposal... phones; the internet; Hell! if we could figure it out, why not drive-thru voting? We've got drive-thru everything else. Other than that, the very least we should do is have elections over a weekend, so more people can get to the polls.
By the way, I had a conversation with my friend Chip, who voted for Bush. I really wanted to know why he voted for Bush. In the course of our conversation, at no time did he say something about Bush being the better man for the job. It was more about not liking Kerry OR not wanting lots of federal government, rich parents, blah blah common Republican BS. I then said "So it has nothing to do with the issues at all?"... and he pretty much didn't answer that, because we're friends and he knew I got him. It has nothing to do with the issues... or Bush being the "right" person for the job.
In other news, in almost every state that had state constitutional amendments on the definition of marriage as that of a union between a man and a woman (this includes Michigan), the vote to amend passed.
I owe Maggie Holdershaw and the lovely Miss Chelsey Wagemaker each a kiss for voting. No one else, interestingly enough took me up on my offer.
They've just announced that Michigan's 17 electoral votes are projected to go to Kerry... and Minnesota's 10 votes will go to Kerry. This puts Bush at 249 and Kerry at 238. (And Hawaii now goes to Kerry... Bush 249-Kerry 242). While there is still hope, I have come to a radical conclusion: The voting system, in American, needs wholesale changes. We need to scrap the entire voting system and create something new... something that uses current technology... something that allows EVERYONE (not just white people, or people in suburbs) the chance to vote. The fact that we vote on a work day during the week is RIDICULOUS! I was on the red line train (which is a subway near the loop [downtown Chicago]), and I heard two black men talking. They were talking about how long the line was to vote... how hard it was to get out of work to vote... and how many people were probably not going to be able to vote because of the other two reasons. We're not talking about the 1800s here, not everyone has to walk to get to the polls. We should be using the technology that we have at our disposal... phones; the internet; Hell! if we could figure it out, why not drive-thru voting? We've got drive-thru everything else. Other than that, the very least we should do is have elections over a weekend, so more people can get to the polls.
By the way, I had a conversation with my friend Chip, who voted for Bush. I really wanted to know why he voted for Bush. In the course of our conversation, at no time did he say something about Bush being the better man for the job. It was more about not liking Kerry OR not wanting lots of federal government, rich parents, blah blah common Republican BS. I then said "So it has nothing to do with the issues at all?"... and he pretty much didn't answer that, because we're friends and he knew I got him. It has nothing to do with the issues... or Bush being the "right" person for the job.
In other news, in almost every state that had state constitutional amendments on the definition of marriage as that of a union between a man and a woman (this includes Michigan), the vote to amend passed.
I owe Maggie Holdershaw and the lovely Miss Chelsey Wagemaker each a kiss for voting. No one else, interestingly enough took me up on my offer.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Erection Day... the polls are up for Bush
All that optimism from yesterday is gone as electoral-vote.com shows Kerry currently at 262 electoral votes and Bush at 261. Yeah... Kerry "lost" Wisconsin and Ohio since yesterday. Kerry DID "get" New Hampshire, but somehow Bush and Kerry are now tied in New Jersey, the broken penis state. I believe the current split of the nation is really making me want to puke. Honestly, I don't know what a person who is voting for Bush could possibly be thinking, unless they're super-wealthy. I think that's probably one of the reasons the nation is so divided: Bush supporters have no understanding of why someone would vote for Kerry, and vice versa. It's like we're not even speaking the same language. One of my stupid classes in Albion (I forget which one, but I think it was Great Issues in something) would say that both groups have different... something... values... something. I don't remember. The point is that every time a Kerry supporter mentions no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, a Bush supporter mentions 9/11. For every talk of allowing gay marriages, a discussion of Bush's no child left behind ensues. I mean, I don't know that an intelligent discussion between a Kerry supporter and a Bush supporter could even occur. *sigh... shakes head* I'm still moving to Canada.
All that optimism from yesterday is gone as electoral-vote.com shows Kerry currently at 262 electoral votes and Bush at 261. Yeah... Kerry "lost" Wisconsin and Ohio since yesterday. Kerry DID "get" New Hampshire, but somehow Bush and Kerry are now tied in New Jersey, the broken penis state. I believe the current split of the nation is really making me want to puke. Honestly, I don't know what a person who is voting for Bush could possibly be thinking, unless they're super-wealthy. I think that's probably one of the reasons the nation is so divided: Bush supporters have no understanding of why someone would vote for Kerry, and vice versa. It's like we're not even speaking the same language. One of my stupid classes in Albion (I forget which one, but I think it was Great Issues in something) would say that both groups have different... something... values... something. I don't remember. The point is that every time a Kerry supporter mentions no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, a Bush supporter mentions 9/11. For every talk of allowing gay marriages, a discussion of Bush's no child left behind ensues. I mean, I don't know that an intelligent discussion between a Kerry supporter and a Bush supporter could even occur. *sigh... shakes head* I'm still moving to Canada.
Monday, November 01, 2004
From Garden State...
This is, by far, the greatest point made by that movie. And, as it seems like Garden State has finally reached Albion, I thought I'd share it with you.
"Andrew Largeman : You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
Sam : I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman : You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place. "
This is, by far, the greatest point made by that movie. And, as it seems like Garden State has finally reached Albion, I thought I'd share it with you.
"Andrew Largeman : You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
Sam : I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman : You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place. "
I'll be gone til November... give a kiss to my mother
Girl I gotta leave, please don't cry... my Wyclef Jean is pretty good for a white guy.
I don't know why I'm being stupid... but whatever. I'm in a pretty good/positive mood. My Packers won... the stupid Patriots lost!... and, according to electoral-vote.com, Kerry has gained ground since yesterday. It's not an overwhelming margin, but if the states hold they way they're looking like they will, Kerry's win will at least be more convincing than Bush's "win" four years ago. Let's talk about the states, shall we? (Politics? From me?! I know... I've got two more days of this and then I'll go back to talking about football)
Looking at the current map, just looking at it, it's interesting to see that Kerry seems to have both coasts, and Bush is very strong through the middle of the country. I don't find it necessarily surprising that Bush's got the middle of the country... guess where the most uneducated section of the country is? Hey... I'm just tellin' the truth... it seems the less educated you are, the more you like Republicans. Unless, of course, you're a minority.
Reason #1 Bush shouldn't win: Bush has Utah. Bush has Utah by a HUGE margin. That means the Mormons like Bush. That means he's not the right guy for the job, because we all know how backwards the Mormons are.
Reason #2 Bush shouldn't win: Kerry has Florida (barely). George's brother is still the governer of Florida (right?). If your brother is the highest elected official in a state, and you can't win that state... you shouldn't be running the country.
Reason #3 Bush shouldn't win: Kerry has California. Those similarly backwards mother f--kers in California... the state that elected a REPUBLICAN Austrian action movie star, is now pulling for Kerry. That doesn't make sense to me at all.
Surprise #1: California, for the reason above.
Surprise #2: Alaska is pro-Bush. I guess it makes sense, as Bush's "hey let's drill in the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge" has created many jobs. Those jobs being the systematic humanization of the 'wild.' I shun using the word "rape" here to describe what is being done to the earth, as it's over-used rhetoric and really downplays the horrors of rape... but Bush is a bitch (that has nothing to do with anything, I just couldn't figure out how to get out of that sentence)
Reason #4 Bush shouldn't win: Kerry has DC BIGTIME. If anyone knows politics, it's the residents of Washington D.C. If they think Kerry's the man for the job, shouldn't he be?
Surprise #3: Hawaii for Bush. For a progressive, allowing gay marriage state like Hawaii to be a Bush state is mind-boggling to me.
Surprise #4: New Hampshire is split. Kerry has all of New England except for NH which is, for some reason, exactly split. Come on NH, get with the program... Maybe Bush owns New Hampshire?
I think I should have something witty to say here... but I've got nothing. It's raining in Chicago... and it's been raining all day. It's interesting... it doesn't feel like a good rain. This feels like a depressing rain, for some reason. It's raining on my parade! Um... I don't know.
Speaking of no segue! I'm so sick of that super crappy "Here's to football" song they have on Sportscenter every week. I 'liked' that song a couple years ago, when it was just about showing hot twins. Now it's about trying to be clever every week... and it's not really clever (and the twins aren't even twins anymore. And, Hey!, how many times are they going to show Tiki and Ronde Barber? That's not funny anymore)
It's not clever anymore, it's formulaic. I'll show you clever:
I love originality
Coming from my TV
Which doesn't happen often
Shit! ... and twins
Girl I gotta leave, please don't cry... my Wyclef Jean is pretty good for a white guy.
I don't know why I'm being stupid... but whatever. I'm in a pretty good/positive mood. My Packers won... the stupid Patriots lost!... and, according to electoral-vote.com, Kerry has gained ground since yesterday. It's not an overwhelming margin, but if the states hold they way they're looking like they will, Kerry's win will at least be more convincing than Bush's "win" four years ago. Let's talk about the states, shall we? (Politics? From me?! I know... I've got two more days of this and then I'll go back to talking about football)
Looking at the current map, just looking at it, it's interesting to see that Kerry seems to have both coasts, and Bush is very strong through the middle of the country. I don't find it necessarily surprising that Bush's got the middle of the country... guess where the most uneducated section of the country is? Hey... I'm just tellin' the truth... it seems the less educated you are, the more you like Republicans. Unless, of course, you're a minority.
Reason #1 Bush shouldn't win: Bush has Utah. Bush has Utah by a HUGE margin. That means the Mormons like Bush. That means he's not the right guy for the job, because we all know how backwards the Mormons are.
Reason #2 Bush shouldn't win: Kerry has Florida (barely). George's brother is still the governer of Florida (right?). If your brother is the highest elected official in a state, and you can't win that state... you shouldn't be running the country.
Reason #3 Bush shouldn't win: Kerry has California. Those similarly backwards mother f--kers in California... the state that elected a REPUBLICAN Austrian action movie star, is now pulling for Kerry. That doesn't make sense to me at all.
Surprise #1: California, for the reason above.
Surprise #2: Alaska is pro-Bush. I guess it makes sense, as Bush's "hey let's drill in the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge" has created many jobs. Those jobs being the systematic humanization of the 'wild.' I shun using the word "rape" here to describe what is being done to the earth, as it's over-used rhetoric and really downplays the horrors of rape... but Bush is a bitch (that has nothing to do with anything, I just couldn't figure out how to get out of that sentence)
Reason #4 Bush shouldn't win: Kerry has DC BIGTIME. If anyone knows politics, it's the residents of Washington D.C. If they think Kerry's the man for the job, shouldn't he be?
Surprise #3: Hawaii for Bush. For a progressive, allowing gay marriage state like Hawaii to be a Bush state is mind-boggling to me.
Surprise #4: New Hampshire is split. Kerry has all of New England except for NH which is, for some reason, exactly split. Come on NH, get with the program... Maybe Bush owns New Hampshire?
I think I should have something witty to say here... but I've got nothing. It's raining in Chicago... and it's been raining all day. It's interesting... it doesn't feel like a good rain. This feels like a depressing rain, for some reason. It's raining on my parade! Um... I don't know.
Speaking of no segue! I'm so sick of that super crappy "Here's to football" song they have on Sportscenter every week. I 'liked' that song a couple years ago, when it was just about showing hot twins. Now it's about trying to be clever every week... and it's not really clever (and the twins aren't even twins anymore. And, Hey!, how many times are they going to show Tiki and Ronde Barber? That's not funny anymore)
It's not clever anymore, it's formulaic. I'll show you clever:
I love originality
Coming from my TV
Which doesn't happen often
Shit! ... and twins
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