And The Winner, Of "The Best Thing That Happened To Me In 2004" Is...
Hey! A funny song goes here. The animation is great. And the fact that the singer is a bunny makes this even more hilarious... and it's a great song that seems a lot like something Keith would write.
From the "that could have come out of my mouth" file: "I tend to stay up late, not because I'm partying but because it's the only time of day when I'm alone and I don't have to be on, performing." - Jim Carrey. Wow. Maybe Mr. Carrey and I have more in common than I thought. I would really like to get the chance to meet him, talk to him, see how he copes with things. It's said that he, as a child, used to wear tap shoes to bed... just in case he felt like his parents needed cheering up in the middle of the night. Fascinating.
Today I went to get my headshot enlarged, cropped, and bordered back at Wolf Camera (where I got the pictures developed). Why does everything have to be so complicated? To me, a camera store should be able to do all of the above tasks to a photo without it being a huge pain in the ass... but I guess I was wrong. The guy took my picture over to a scanner (the very same scanner I own, mind you) and scanned it, blew it up, and told me that the machine would automatically print a border on it. When (five minutes later) I got the print back, it looked terrible... the quality was terrible, it wasn't centered, there was obviously some kind of filth on the scanner glass... it looked terrible! And I had to pay $8 for that piece of shit! I then asked the guy if they sold a glossy printer paper... which they did (for another $8). So I ended up spending $16 at this stupid store and I'm still going to have to do it myself. If you want something done right...
After that whole incident, I walked up to the Second City because I wanted to get my haircut. The Supercuts I always go to is about half a block away from the Second City(I wasn't going to the improv place to get my haircut, people). It's where I go... leave me alone. Anyway, when I got up to the building, it was boarded up: no more Supercuts! There were signs saying "For Rent" in the window! Stupid life! Now I've got to figure out a different place to go to get my haircut. There's a "Hair Cuttery" another block or so away from where the Supercuts was... but, son of a bitch... I'm a creature of habit. Switching things up on me makes me uncomfortable and cranky! I'm cranky!!!
Until Sweet Pumpkin Pie rehearsal, that is. Writing five rehearsal went well... but I felt like a huge douche because we did some scenes (that we hadn't even blocked yet!!! I mean, come on!) and most of the rest of the cast was off book. So I had to do a scene with Chris... it was just the two of us, and he was off book, and it seemed like I hadn't even looked at that script in a long time (which I haven't). I now have one week to memorize the whole show before we're supposed to be off book.
CrazyJohn on Spam Emails--Who sits there, checking their email and says: "'Fist action'? Sign me up!" Yeah... I actually got one that was titled "fist action" today! I'll admit I can occasionally be into some weird stuff (not really) but fisting makes me want to vomit into a bowl, microwave that bowl, and eat the aforementioned vomit bowl with some Parmesan cheese and a little parsley. Who creates new business with these spam emails? Why do we (normal folk) get them? I can't, for the life of me, understand why they exist... is anyone making money off this, or is someone just trying to piss everyone in the world off?
#1 BEST OF 2004 - WINTER BREAK! Yes, the holiday break near the end of the year just barely beat out my trip to Vegas... but it DID, in fact, beat it out. My winter break this year was AMAZING! I saw Susan and Adam for the first time since 1994ever ago. And I had the best dinner with them and Adam's parents... and then I got to spend some major road time with Ken (and beat Halo 2 [Finally!]). We saw some lovely ladies in Saginaw for the first time in forever. I saw Jason again for the first time ever. (Are you getting the theme?) Nate and Allison and Rhea and Jean and Rhea (whichever way you want me to say it... you're both retarded) and Katie and MY WHOLE FAMILY together and... man... it blew me away. It was just, well, exactly what I needed. I felt reconnected for the first time in a while. Even when the ball dropped in New York, I was on the phone with Mr. John Sellers. Reconnection... mmm... here's to a phenomenal 2005!
Monday, January 31, 2005
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Truisms About The Irish People...
If Vodka is made from potatoes, then how come the Irish didn't invent it? Seems to me that Ireland would be the perfect place to create it. They like potatoes; they like drinking... you'd think SOMEBODY would have tried to put them together in the history of their civilization.
This has nothing to do with anything, but I thought I should mention that I've been into Crossfade for the past couple weeks because of that stupid Launch thing. I love that song ("Cold")... and perhaps I like the group so much because I think that they're a lot like what Outer Core would have been if we stayed together. The lame guy with the hat, sideburns, and the 'bling' who doesn't play an instrument is me... and the lame guy with the goatee who sings, plays the guitar, and who does the "acting" in the video is Ken. The rest of the band that you don't really see is... the rest of our band. But I'm totally into that song because that would have been us (if we hadn't ended up like Linkin Park. There's more of a chance that our sound would have lent us to sounding more like Crossfade anyway). And I really want that stupid dude's hat! It's like and Independent hat or something (I know from Tony Hawk games, I've seen that cross on his hat before). Whatever... Ken and I would rock that song. I wonder if they have it Karaokee anywhere... that would be awesome. We're awesome... ly lame.
Today was spent finishing the first season of MacGyver, rewriting my resume, playing some KOTOR II, and catching up with a few people on the phone. It was also spent going a little crazy about all the things I should be doing, but aren't for one reason or another. The day seemed to go too fast. Now... let's get on with this last part... because it's been a long time coming.
#1 WORST OF 2004 - THAT FATEFUL DAY IN LATE SEPTEMBER... This should not come as a surprise to anyone. Possibly one of the worst experiences of my life was being fired from that job by that woman on that day. It is my sincere hope that no one who reads this blog will EVER be treated like I was treated that day. I was treated less than human... and worse. As someone insane... dangerous... violent... I was approached with condescension, a hidden smugness, and an air of passive aggressiveness. There are so many things I wish I would have done differently... but, most of all, I wish that I could just get over that atrocity and move on. I've made some steps this year... and maybe I'll get a paying theatre gig and I won't need to go back to being the kind of person I was... or maybe I'll be in a better environment and I'll only be doing my own job instead of everyone else's and that will be better too. We'll see, won't we? Hello employment 2005!
If Vodka is made from potatoes, then how come the Irish didn't invent it? Seems to me that Ireland would be the perfect place to create it. They like potatoes; they like drinking... you'd think SOMEBODY would have tried to put them together in the history of their civilization.
This has nothing to do with anything, but I thought I should mention that I've been into Crossfade for the past couple weeks because of that stupid Launch thing. I love that song ("Cold")... and perhaps I like the group so much because I think that they're a lot like what Outer Core would have been if we stayed together. The lame guy with the hat, sideburns, and the 'bling' who doesn't play an instrument is me... and the lame guy with the goatee who sings, plays the guitar, and who does the "acting" in the video is Ken. The rest of the band that you don't really see is... the rest of our band. But I'm totally into that song because that would have been us (if we hadn't ended up like Linkin Park. There's more of a chance that our sound would have lent us to sounding more like Crossfade anyway). And I really want that stupid dude's hat! It's like and Independent hat or something (I know from Tony Hawk games, I've seen that cross on his hat before). Whatever... Ken and I would rock that song. I wonder if they have it Karaokee anywhere... that would be awesome. We're awesome... ly lame.
Today was spent finishing the first season of MacGyver, rewriting my resume, playing some KOTOR II, and catching up with a few people on the phone. It was also spent going a little crazy about all the things I should be doing, but aren't for one reason or another. The day seemed to go too fast. Now... let's get on with this last part... because it's been a long time coming.
#1 WORST OF 2004 - THAT FATEFUL DAY IN LATE SEPTEMBER... This should not come as a surprise to anyone. Possibly one of the worst experiences of my life was being fired from that job by that woman on that day. It is my sincere hope that no one who reads this blog will EVER be treated like I was treated that day. I was treated less than human... and worse. As someone insane... dangerous... violent... I was approached with condescension, a hidden smugness, and an air of passive aggressiveness. There are so many things I wish I would have done differently... but, most of all, I wish that I could just get over that atrocity and move on. I've made some steps this year... and maybe I'll get a paying theatre gig and I won't need to go back to being the kind of person I was... or maybe I'll be in a better environment and I'll only be doing my own job instead of everyone else's and that will be better too. We'll see, won't we? Hello employment 2005!
I know this is horrifically out of order, and I plan on catching up with the previous week soon enough... but I need your help. I've got an audition on Wednesday and I need to figure out which picture I'm going to use as my headshot. Above is picture number 1.
Posted by Hello
And here is picture number 2. Please vote below by posting a comment and telling me what you think! (If you're good and vote, I promise to post "out-take" pictures complete with actor's commentary!)
Posted by Hello
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Silent Laughter
The first thing I did this morning was to make a run to Borders to try and get myself something I could use as a monologue for my auditions. When I got there, I was both overwhelmed by the vastness of the "drama" section of books, and disappointed by the selection. Nothing seemed to resonate. I then did what everyone does when all hope seems lost: I called someone smarter than I am. I called Laura. She was also at a book store. She was also at a Borders... weird how the universe can work sometimes. She directed me to Christopher Durang... a playwrite who I've heard of, but have really never spent any time reading. I sat down and started reading one of his short pieces, "John and Mary Doe" and he had me. I loved it... and I bought the book, which contains 27 short plays, and headed back to my apartment through the people asking for money or just asking me to stop... for some reason (read: money). When I got back to my apartment, I started reading some of the Durang plays. I finally read The Actor's Nightmare (and loved it), For Whom The Southern Belle Tolls (and loved it), and The Hardy Boys And The Mystery Of Where Babies Come From (and laughed). I actually found a section of The Actor's Nightmare that I think I'm going to use as a monologue.
Tonight was the third night of Mockupations. And, tonight the audience finally got into it... sort of. For the first half of the show, while I was on stage, I couldn't hear much laughter from the audience. But when I headed into the audience for one of the scenes, I realized that the audience WAS into it, they just weren't a very vocal audience. I was even able to interact with a woman sitting next to me, and she was (quietly) in hysterics. That's a good feeling. Especially for that particular show... I think I'm finally "into" it. It was a good show, finally... and hopefully we'll get a little more vocal audience next week.
#1 BEST POST OF 2004 - TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE VEGAS This was, clearly, the most imaginative, creative thing I wrote on this blog all year. I remember writing it from the bay window. It was, quite literally, the night before I went... I remember thinking that I should have been packing, but I just kept writing... I even looked up the actual 'Night Before Christmas' so that I could better parody it. I will leave you with the best (read: my favorite) part from that story:
"Thank God for Vegas,
Where a man can be loved
By a strange woman's mouth,
Or a hand that is gloved."
I'm brilliant.
The first thing I did this morning was to make a run to Borders to try and get myself something I could use as a monologue for my auditions. When I got there, I was both overwhelmed by the vastness of the "drama" section of books, and disappointed by the selection. Nothing seemed to resonate. I then did what everyone does when all hope seems lost: I called someone smarter than I am. I called Laura. She was also at a book store. She was also at a Borders... weird how the universe can work sometimes. She directed me to Christopher Durang... a playwrite who I've heard of, but have really never spent any time reading. I sat down and started reading one of his short pieces, "John and Mary Doe" and he had me. I loved it... and I bought the book, which contains 27 short plays, and headed back to my apartment through the people asking for money or just asking me to stop... for some reason (read: money). When I got back to my apartment, I started reading some of the Durang plays. I finally read The Actor's Nightmare (and loved it), For Whom The Southern Belle Tolls (and loved it), and The Hardy Boys And The Mystery Of Where Babies Come From (and laughed). I actually found a section of The Actor's Nightmare that I think I'm going to use as a monologue.
Tonight was the third night of Mockupations. And, tonight the audience finally got into it... sort of. For the first half of the show, while I was on stage, I couldn't hear much laughter from the audience. But when I headed into the audience for one of the scenes, I realized that the audience WAS into it, they just weren't a very vocal audience. I was even able to interact with a woman sitting next to me, and she was (quietly) in hysterics. That's a good feeling. Especially for that particular show... I think I'm finally "into" it. It was a good show, finally... and hopefully we'll get a little more vocal audience next week.
#1 BEST POST OF 2004 - TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE VEGAS This was, clearly, the most imaginative, creative thing I wrote on this blog all year. I remember writing it from the bay window. It was, quite literally, the night before I went... I remember thinking that I should have been packing, but I just kept writing... I even looked up the actual 'Night Before Christmas' so that I could better parody it. I will leave you with the best (read: my favorite) part from that story:
"Thank God for Vegas,
Where a man can be loved
By a strange woman's mouth,
Or a hand that is gloved."
I'm brilliant.
Friday, January 28, 2005
MacGyver: Asexual pedophile? Or is that just my one wish?
This morning, I watched one of the people on my conservatory class, Courtney Boxwell, on the ABC 7 news. They were doing a "girlfriends" segment (no joke) and Courtney owns a jewelry store in Chicago called "Create." The news story on the ABC 7 website is here. Basically, you go there and they help you create your own necklaces, earrings, or bracelets. It's a bead kind of thing... but anyone can 'uniquify' their own pieces to match whatever outfit/dress they've got on. I'm sure that kind of store is a good idea... the problem will be getting the word out that the store even exists. That's why this morning was so important to Courtney, I'm sure. Regardless of the store, it was personally a thrill to sit and watch someone and say "I know her! I was at a bar with her *looks at watch* 12 hours ago!" I'm almost famous.
Tonight was week four of Mankind, and I decided to not watch this week. I think it had more to do with the fact that I have problems letting go than anything with the actual show itself. I do, in fact, have problems letting go of my writing. I have a huge problem with other people acting in my writing... unless they're absolutely brilliant all the time. So, I figured this would be good for me, this not watching thing. As the actors were about to take the stage, one of the other writers, Chris, said "hey man, you gonna go watch?" And, since it's so hard for me to let go... I was like "yeah, I guess." As I got to the backstage area, to head through to the audience... the lights dimmed for everyone to get to their seats. I didn't feel like I had enough time to get all the way to a seat, so I decided to stand right where I was until I could figure something else out. And, as the song started, one of the actors, Sean, started talking to me. Then he had to go on stage and I started talking to another actor, Nick. And, as it turns out, I spent the entire show backstage... talking to actors, listening to the show, helping with some props... it was actually a WHOLE lot of fun. And, even though I was unable to "let go", I let the show look the way it was going to look and I just had a good time being around a show while it was being performed. Now that I think about it, that might have been the first time I was backstage for a show I wasn't acting in. I wouldn't want to DO that as what I do, but it was fun to be able to do it once. See what the actors do while they're concentrating on the show... very interesting.
For some reason, only half-way through season one of MacGyver, the writers added Dana Elcar's character, Pete Thornton, AND moved Mac from the planetarium where he lived in in the Pilot episode, to a beach-front apartment in Venice Beach, Cali, on top of a Coney Island hot dog restaurant. Then, later in the first season, they move him again (to a place they never show... he just packs his stuff up and says that he's moving, and they never show him at home for the rest of the season)! WTFuck? And he KEEPS kissing women! I don't remember that from this show AT ALL! I remember MacGyver as asexual... and a little too interested in helping children. But, apparently, MacGyver gets all the ladies. Including Russian women who look like they're really old, but he still hits on for some reason. And the particular Russian woman to which I refer wouldn't trust him until he kissed her... and I almost puked. Could we force this kiss any MORE? A few times in this season they used the "for luck" excuse for the kiss... just so forced. *shakes head* But, for some reason, I am finally learning a lot about the evolution of writing for a series. Learning is what it's all about, kids. Ooo! And watching MacGyver... that's also what it's about.
#2 Best of 2004 - Crazy Hits Vegas! Yes, kids... the news item that topped last year's list has moved down a spot this year. It's not because this year's trip to Vegas wasn't special... it was! I actually had a tough decision as to whether this would be #1 or #2, but it just got edged out in the end. This trip was the first time I've ever taken a plane by myself! Highlights included: Ken and I going to the Hoover Dam, and someone who worked there making me feel like an idiot when I asked what the difference between the red, white, and blue was (they're all different levels of tours you can take at the bridge), and the worker there said they were all "different colors"; We saw the Second City show in Las Vegas; We shot stuff; We played football on an Air Force base... with planes taking off and landing what seemed like right next to us; We saw women who were most certainly high-level prostitutes... and I felt funny; We tried to figure out which gifts certain computer generated women would like so that they would play volleyball better; We went to Red Lobster and I taught Ken how to eat seafood proper; Ken learned me about IMAX movies; and, most importantly, we shot stuff. It was a fabulous vacation... and further solidified my belief that Ken and I could probably spend weeks at a time doing nothing and loving it, or forcing each other to go out and loving that. What an odd relationship we have... all this love, yet I hate the short bastard. Ehh... such is life. Starting tomorrow... the number ones!!! I know you're totally excited (or bored with the lists by now)!
This morning, I watched one of the people on my conservatory class, Courtney Boxwell, on the ABC 7 news. They were doing a "girlfriends" segment (no joke) and Courtney owns a jewelry store in Chicago called "Create." The news story on the ABC 7 website is here. Basically, you go there and they help you create your own necklaces, earrings, or bracelets. It's a bead kind of thing... but anyone can 'uniquify' their own pieces to match whatever outfit/dress they've got on. I'm sure that kind of store is a good idea... the problem will be getting the word out that the store even exists. That's why this morning was so important to Courtney, I'm sure. Regardless of the store, it was personally a thrill to sit and watch someone and say "I know her! I was at a bar with her *looks at watch* 12 hours ago!" I'm almost famous.
Tonight was week four of Mankind, and I decided to not watch this week. I think it had more to do with the fact that I have problems letting go than anything with the actual show itself. I do, in fact, have problems letting go of my writing. I have a huge problem with other people acting in my writing... unless they're absolutely brilliant all the time. So, I figured this would be good for me, this not watching thing. As the actors were about to take the stage, one of the other writers, Chris, said "hey man, you gonna go watch?" And, since it's so hard for me to let go... I was like "yeah, I guess." As I got to the backstage area, to head through to the audience... the lights dimmed for everyone to get to their seats. I didn't feel like I had enough time to get all the way to a seat, so I decided to stand right where I was until I could figure something else out. And, as the song started, one of the actors, Sean, started talking to me. Then he had to go on stage and I started talking to another actor, Nick. And, as it turns out, I spent the entire show backstage... talking to actors, listening to the show, helping with some props... it was actually a WHOLE lot of fun. And, even though I was unable to "let go", I let the show look the way it was going to look and I just had a good time being around a show while it was being performed. Now that I think about it, that might have been the first time I was backstage for a show I wasn't acting in. I wouldn't want to DO that as what I do, but it was fun to be able to do it once. See what the actors do while they're concentrating on the show... very interesting.
For some reason, only half-way through season one of MacGyver, the writers added Dana Elcar's character, Pete Thornton, AND moved Mac from the planetarium where he lived in in the Pilot episode, to a beach-front apartment in Venice Beach, Cali, on top of a Coney Island hot dog restaurant. Then, later in the first season, they move him again (to a place they never show... he just packs his stuff up and says that he's moving, and they never show him at home for the rest of the season)! WTFuck? And he KEEPS kissing women! I don't remember that from this show AT ALL! I remember MacGyver as asexual... and a little too interested in helping children. But, apparently, MacGyver gets all the ladies. Including Russian women who look like they're really old, but he still hits on for some reason. And the particular Russian woman to which I refer wouldn't trust him until he kissed her... and I almost puked. Could we force this kiss any MORE? A few times in this season they used the "for luck" excuse for the kiss... just so forced. *shakes head* But, for some reason, I am finally learning a lot about the evolution of writing for a series. Learning is what it's all about, kids. Ooo! And watching MacGyver... that's also what it's about.
#2 Best of 2004 - Crazy Hits Vegas! Yes, kids... the news item that topped last year's list has moved down a spot this year. It's not because this year's trip to Vegas wasn't special... it was! I actually had a tough decision as to whether this would be #1 or #2, but it just got edged out in the end. This trip was the first time I've ever taken a plane by myself! Highlights included: Ken and I going to the Hoover Dam, and someone who worked there making me feel like an idiot when I asked what the difference between the red, white, and blue was (they're all different levels of tours you can take at the bridge), and the worker there said they were all "different colors"; We saw the Second City show in Las Vegas; We shot stuff; We played football on an Air Force base... with planes taking off and landing what seemed like right next to us; We saw women who were most certainly high-level prostitutes... and I felt funny; We tried to figure out which gifts certain computer generated women would like so that they would play volleyball better; We went to Red Lobster and I taught Ken how to eat seafood proper; Ken learned me about IMAX movies; and, most importantly, we shot stuff. It was a fabulous vacation... and further solidified my belief that Ken and I could probably spend weeks at a time doing nothing and loving it, or forcing each other to go out and loving that. What an odd relationship we have... all this love, yet I hate the short bastard. Ehh... such is life. Starting tomorrow... the number ones!!! I know you're totally excited (or bored with the lists by now)!
Thursday, January 27, 2005
MacGyver: Always Prepared For Adventure
Here's another weird dream: I'm pretty sure it was a movie and I was Jim Carrey, and the other main character was a hollywood version of Colleen Kelly (although I guess that's the REAL Colleen... but bear with me). Jim, or me, or whoever... I was... no, I'd better say Jim... okay, so Jim Carrey was playing this small town news reporter who had abnormally long legs which contributed to his uneasiness around women. (He wasn't tall, it was that most of his body was legs) He was especially uneasy around women that he had feelings for, like the Colleen character, who was also a news reporter. He obviously liked her... and their travels together had brought them from some place in Michigan (I'll get to that in a second) to someplace... else. And I'm not sure that it was set in the present... but it may have been some time in the early eighties. The time period was mixed up because it seemed like Carrey and Kelly were wearing 1950s apparel (he in a suit, she in a nice sun dress [can I say sun dress? does that even mean anything?]), and the car they were driving was easily circa 1950s... but, now, this is really the only part of the dream I remember: They were pulled over by a silver Chevy Corvette. This is the part of the dream where Jim Carrey becomes me, because it wasn't him talking to the cop, it was me. And he (the cop) didn't ask for my license and registration, he asked for something a lot more technical sounding (the language escapes my conscious mind)... but I knew that he wanted my license and registration. And, after handing him what he needed, I let him have a "piece of my mind," as they say. I kept saying that a police officer in a silver Chevy Corvette is unfair, that it's a trap... other people were speeding, too... why was I singled out? That's when the cop said something about me being from Michigan (or at least having Michigan plates)... and I reiterated how unfair it was. "Look at the other cars!" I demanded... and then I stuck my head out the window to look at how the other cars were speeding too, and I realized that I was stopped in the middle lane of the highway... and there seemed to be an unusual amount of UHauls on the road that day. What happened next? My alarm went off... sorry kids. Oh... and my dreams suck.
Today I was checking out the Onion's website and I saw that Seth MacFarlane gave an interview. The Family Guy being one of my, if not THE, favorite show ever in history ever, I read the article. I learned something very interesting/kind of disturbing: Seth was scheduled to go fly on one of the planes used in the 9/11 attacks. And, instead of it being a religious experience, or some way for him to refocus himself because he almost died a certain and horrible death... he shrugs it off as if people die in horrible plane crashes every day. I found that fascinating. I would probably be one of those irritating "born again" people if I had been scheduled to go on one of those flights but didn't. Or, at the very least, felt like I had been given a second chance at life. It doesn't seem to effect Mr. MacFarlane in the least. How interesting.
Tonight was also another one of my very special Conservatory Classes. Hey class? why don't you keep kicking my ass, please? Thanks a bunch. I am now under the impression that Gellman, my teacher, thinks I'm a fucking idiot. Whenever I try to talk, it seems like his eyes glaze over and he starts snoring. Okay, it's not that bad... but he has a certain way of making me feel like an idiot from the very beginning of class ALL THE WAY to the end of class. We started "doing scenes"... by which I mean we were standing, acting, and were forced to use the numbers 1-50 instead of actual dialog. And interesting technique, to be sure. Because you could tell when someone didn't know what they were "saying"... they were just spouting off numbers. We then played a gibberish game, which I historically have hated... but I figured I couldn't make myself feel any MORE like an idiot, so why not jump into it. And, honestly, I didn't do so bad. I was "translating" from gibberish to English and the woman for whom I was translating said I caught exactly what she was 'saying' about three times. Maybe I'll be better off in foreign countries than I think. Or maybe I was just playing a stupid game and it's level of intelligence was equal to my own. One of those two things is true.
After class, waiting for me at my apartment was the day's mail. And in the mail today was a delayed birthday gift: the first season of MacGyver!!! Yes, yes... it's a lame show and me loving it is equally lame. But I am lame and I do love it. So far I've watched the pilot (which included Dana Elcar, but not as Pete Thornton of the Phoenix Foundation [did you know Dana Elcar is from Michigan? did you know he went blind DURING the run of the show... and that they wrote in that Pete Thornton was also going blind? Oh. Then you know more than I do... because that was news to me]) and what could possibly be MacGyver's only kiss in the show--and the second show! wherein MacGyver and a village of slaves take down a Burmese General with the cunning use of the pulley! (BTW we couldn't come up with a better word for it than "pulley"? "What's it do?", "It pulls", "The pulley!") What a great show. I have a feeling I'm going to lose countless hours to watching the first full season... it's SIX (6!) DVDs... something like 1045 minutes of commercial-free MacGyver action (that's about 17 and 1/2 hours for those of you who don't do math [read: non-Asians {why did I have to go there?}]). I can't wait for season 2, because it's the first appearance of Murdoc! Wooo!!! My point is that I love MacGyver... and I don't care who knows about it.
#2 Worst of 2004 - Say Hello to Corporate!John We certainly met a new side of me in 2004. Maybe the Corporate!John who worked at Coldstone was new to you all, but I always knew he was inside of me. I knew that I could easily become someone who can talk about people as if they were numbers, with no emotional attachment what-so-ever... someone who could allow himself to become consumed by his work, and by making the most profit with the smoothest flow of goods-to-customers as possible. I don't know why I knew he existed... I just did. Perhaps it was simply my fear of me becoming that kind of person that hinted to me of his existence; or perhaps I've always known that I could easily be an asshole just to make money--growning up with what seemed like not a lot of it (I turned out to be wrong... we just spent the money in odd ways... and lived in a place where not-a-lot of people have not-a-lot of money). In any case, I ended up being someone who I never wanted to be in 2004... the kind of person who I hated at Albion... the kind of person who I never thought would actually be me. The silver lining to this story is that we all know how it ended (yes, badly, but the proper outcome came out in the end). Even though it left me in a half-year long bad break-up funk... I was able to focus on what I wanted to focus on during that time. But I feel a little like Dr. Jekyll: In the back of my mind, I know that Mr. Hyde lives inside of me; and it scares me to death to think that he might resurface.
Here's another weird dream: I'm pretty sure it was a movie and I was Jim Carrey, and the other main character was a hollywood version of Colleen Kelly (although I guess that's the REAL Colleen... but bear with me). Jim, or me, or whoever... I was... no, I'd better say Jim... okay, so Jim Carrey was playing this small town news reporter who had abnormally long legs which contributed to his uneasiness around women. (He wasn't tall, it was that most of his body was legs) He was especially uneasy around women that he had feelings for, like the Colleen character, who was also a news reporter. He obviously liked her... and their travels together had brought them from some place in Michigan (I'll get to that in a second) to someplace... else. And I'm not sure that it was set in the present... but it may have been some time in the early eighties. The time period was mixed up because it seemed like Carrey and Kelly were wearing 1950s apparel (he in a suit, she in a nice sun dress [can I say sun dress? does that even mean anything?]), and the car they were driving was easily circa 1950s... but, now, this is really the only part of the dream I remember: They were pulled over by a silver Chevy Corvette. This is the part of the dream where Jim Carrey becomes me, because it wasn't him talking to the cop, it was me. And he (the cop) didn't ask for my license and registration, he asked for something a lot more technical sounding (the language escapes my conscious mind)... but I knew that he wanted my license and registration. And, after handing him what he needed, I let him have a "piece of my mind," as they say. I kept saying that a police officer in a silver Chevy Corvette is unfair, that it's a trap... other people were speeding, too... why was I singled out? That's when the cop said something about me being from Michigan (or at least having Michigan plates)... and I reiterated how unfair it was. "Look at the other cars!" I demanded... and then I stuck my head out the window to look at how the other cars were speeding too, and I realized that I was stopped in the middle lane of the highway... and there seemed to be an unusual amount of UHauls on the road that day. What happened next? My alarm went off... sorry kids. Oh... and my dreams suck.
Today I was checking out the Onion's website and I saw that Seth MacFarlane gave an interview. The Family Guy being one of my, if not THE, favorite show ever in history ever, I read the article. I learned something very interesting/kind of disturbing: Seth was scheduled to go fly on one of the planes used in the 9/11 attacks. And, instead of it being a religious experience, or some way for him to refocus himself because he almost died a certain and horrible death... he shrugs it off as if people die in horrible plane crashes every day. I found that fascinating. I would probably be one of those irritating "born again" people if I had been scheduled to go on one of those flights but didn't. Or, at the very least, felt like I had been given a second chance at life. It doesn't seem to effect Mr. MacFarlane in the least. How interesting.
Tonight was also another one of my very special Conservatory Classes. Hey class? why don't you keep kicking my ass, please? Thanks a bunch. I am now under the impression that Gellman, my teacher, thinks I'm a fucking idiot. Whenever I try to talk, it seems like his eyes glaze over and he starts snoring. Okay, it's not that bad... but he has a certain way of making me feel like an idiot from the very beginning of class ALL THE WAY to the end of class. We started "doing scenes"... by which I mean we were standing, acting, and were forced to use the numbers 1-50 instead of actual dialog. And interesting technique, to be sure. Because you could tell when someone didn't know what they were "saying"... they were just spouting off numbers. We then played a gibberish game, which I historically have hated... but I figured I couldn't make myself feel any MORE like an idiot, so why not jump into it. And, honestly, I didn't do so bad. I was "translating" from gibberish to English and the woman for whom I was translating said I caught exactly what she was 'saying' about three times. Maybe I'll be better off in foreign countries than I think. Or maybe I was just playing a stupid game and it's level of intelligence was equal to my own. One of those two things is true.
After class, waiting for me at my apartment was the day's mail. And in the mail today was a delayed birthday gift: the first season of MacGyver!!! Yes, yes... it's a lame show and me loving it is equally lame. But I am lame and I do love it. So far I've watched the pilot (which included Dana Elcar, but not as Pete Thornton of the Phoenix Foundation [did you know Dana Elcar is from Michigan? did you know he went blind DURING the run of the show... and that they wrote in that Pete Thornton was also going blind? Oh. Then you know more than I do... because that was news to me]) and what could possibly be MacGyver's only kiss in the show--and the second show! wherein MacGyver and a village of slaves take down a Burmese General with the cunning use of the pulley! (BTW we couldn't come up with a better word for it than "pulley"? "What's it do?", "It pulls", "The pulley!") What a great show. I have a feeling I'm going to lose countless hours to watching the first full season... it's SIX (6!) DVDs... something like 1045 minutes of commercial-free MacGyver action (that's about 17 and 1/2 hours for those of you who don't do math [read: non-Asians {why did I have to go there?}]). I can't wait for season 2, because it's the first appearance of Murdoc! Wooo!!! My point is that I love MacGyver... and I don't care who knows about it.
#2 Worst of 2004 - Say Hello to Corporate!John We certainly met a new side of me in 2004. Maybe the Corporate!John who worked at Coldstone was new to you all, but I always knew he was inside of me. I knew that I could easily become someone who can talk about people as if they were numbers, with no emotional attachment what-so-ever... someone who could allow himself to become consumed by his work, and by making the most profit with the smoothest flow of goods-to-customers as possible. I don't know why I knew he existed... I just did. Perhaps it was simply my fear of me becoming that kind of person that hinted to me of his existence; or perhaps I've always known that I could easily be an asshole just to make money--growning up with what seemed like not a lot of it (I turned out to be wrong... we just spent the money in odd ways... and lived in a place where not-a-lot of people have not-a-lot of money). In any case, I ended up being someone who I never wanted to be in 2004... the kind of person who I hated at Albion... the kind of person who I never thought would actually be me. The silver lining to this story is that we all know how it ended (yes, badly, but the proper outcome came out in the end). Even though it left me in a half-year long bad break-up funk... I was able to focus on what I wanted to focus on during that time. But I feel a little like Dr. Jekyll: In the back of my mind, I know that Mr. Hyde lives inside of me; and it scares me to death to think that he might resurface.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Jeff Thomason gets his chance
Well, technically, Jeff Thomason gets his third chance. He was a tight-end on both of the Packers teams that went to the Super Bowl in the 90s. But, this week, he was called by the Philadelphia Eagles and asked to play in the Super Bowl. One of the Eagles tight ends, Chad Lewis (remember when he used to make the Pro Bowl? Seems like a long time ago), injured himself and the Eagles were allowed to add another tight end to their Super Bowl roster. Thomason seemed like the obvious choice, as he has been on the Eagles the past few seasons... but was retired and working construction when he got the call from the Eagles. The football related question asked by every football show I've seen seems to be this: Who would you rather have--Jeff Thomason or Shannon Sharpe, a three-time SB winner with the Broncos and Ravens, who has been working for CBS this season and who has expressed interest in playing if the Eagles asked him to? So, I ask myself, who would I rather have: Thomason or Sharpe? Shannon Sharpe is, arguably, the best pass-catching tight end to ever play the game (yes, I remember Ozzie Newsome... I said arguably!). But, unlike his brother Sterling who was a receiver for the Packers who I LOVED on NFL Countdown, I HATE listening to Shannon talk. Think Michael Irvin with a slightly deeper, dumber sounding (if that's possible) voice. They both basically say the same things, and they like flashy players that call attention to themselves rather than the team. This makes them both assholes. Don't question it, it is simply the truth. In addition, you can't ask a future hall of famer to go on special teams... well, I shouldn't say that, but you can't ask THIS future hall of famer to get dirty on special teams. He simply won't stand for it. Okay, so one Eagles' option is a future hall-of-famer who hasn't played all year, who sat in a chair and talked to a camera during that time, and who will talk trash the entire week leading up the the big game. The other Eagles' option is Jeff Thomason. No where near the skill that Shannon has at catching the ball, but he knows the Eagles' offense better... and certainly knows Andy Reid (who was also his coach when he was with the Packers). You won't get any trash talk from Thomason... he'll just simply be a guy who's "happy to be here." Thomason's also more likely to play special teams, and do some real dirty work during the games... working construction seems to humble you to the NFL experience, I'd imagine. He'll block like he's never blocked before... because this is it for him: there's no hall of fame in Jeff Thomason's future. So, option two for the Eagles is the less skilled, future construction worker who has spent the past year outside using his body to work, who won't talk any trash at all, and who will be humble enough to do whatever the coach asks him to do. Advantage: Jeff Thomason.
Hey, Tom Brady! Nice hair.
From the "You've got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME" file, it looks like the conservative Christians are attacking another "gay" television icon. The target? SpongeBob SquarePants. Oh, it's about time! I mean, seriously, how long can we, as a society, stand someone who enjoys going to work, likes dancing, and is loyal to friends (even if the friends hate him [Squidward])? Let's keep our kids away from this certain threat to the straight-person way of life! (You know what I mean... people who hate work, don't dance in public, and would sell their best friends for the right price. Gooooooo straight people!) Okay, okay... seriously, the problem that the conservative Christians have with SpongeBob is that he will be appearing in a music video about to be sent to 61,000 schools. The music video's focus: encouraging tolerance and diversity. The irony is not lost on me. Is it lost on you? Good. You're smart. AND attractive. Apparently there's a gene pool. Why didn't you come? You weren't operating? (those were the lines of the, now famous, Alexander Theodore Carroll in "Going In")
#2 Best Post of 2004 - 2004, An Evolution in Blognology! This is not a particular post, so perhaps it isn't fair to be on the list, or so high on the list. But, 2004 brought about HUGE changes to this blog: the look, the feel, the touch, of cotton. What? I don't know. But I completely changed the look of the site in 2004; I added a comments section; I added the sitemeter; I've added pictures (at times)... and, in all honesty, if I didn't point out that all that stuff happened in the past year, you probably wouldn't have remembered how different this page looked when I started. I almost can't even remember what it looked like before all the changes (almost = can't) (you "can't can't even remember"?) (shut up). But, when I think about it, I find it difficult to believe that my blog could have changed so much in the past year... I also find it difficult to believe I'm still even doing it. Perseverance was only one of my stronger points... with the ladies at least. I'm consistent, you've GOTTA give me that. Irrigation... I mean regardless, 2004 was a year when the whole feeling of the site and the posts on it changed drastically. That's why this is up at number two. It's the evolution, baby.
Well, technically, Jeff Thomason gets his third chance. He was a tight-end on both of the Packers teams that went to the Super Bowl in the 90s. But, this week, he was called by the Philadelphia Eagles and asked to play in the Super Bowl. One of the Eagles tight ends, Chad Lewis (remember when he used to make the Pro Bowl? Seems like a long time ago), injured himself and the Eagles were allowed to add another tight end to their Super Bowl roster. Thomason seemed like the obvious choice, as he has been on the Eagles the past few seasons... but was retired and working construction when he got the call from the Eagles. The football related question asked by every football show I've seen seems to be this: Who would you rather have--Jeff Thomason or Shannon Sharpe, a three-time SB winner with the Broncos and Ravens, who has been working for CBS this season and who has expressed interest in playing if the Eagles asked him to? So, I ask myself, who would I rather have: Thomason or Sharpe? Shannon Sharpe is, arguably, the best pass-catching tight end to ever play the game (yes, I remember Ozzie Newsome... I said arguably!). But, unlike his brother Sterling who was a receiver for the Packers who I LOVED on NFL Countdown, I HATE listening to Shannon talk. Think Michael Irvin with a slightly deeper, dumber sounding (if that's possible) voice. They both basically say the same things, and they like flashy players that call attention to themselves rather than the team. This makes them both assholes. Don't question it, it is simply the truth. In addition, you can't ask a future hall of famer to go on special teams... well, I shouldn't say that, but you can't ask THIS future hall of famer to get dirty on special teams. He simply won't stand for it. Okay, so one Eagles' option is a future hall-of-famer who hasn't played all year, who sat in a chair and talked to a camera during that time, and who will talk trash the entire week leading up the the big game. The other Eagles' option is Jeff Thomason. No where near the skill that Shannon has at catching the ball, but he knows the Eagles' offense better... and certainly knows Andy Reid (who was also his coach when he was with the Packers). You won't get any trash talk from Thomason... he'll just simply be a guy who's "happy to be here." Thomason's also more likely to play special teams, and do some real dirty work during the games... working construction seems to humble you to the NFL experience, I'd imagine. He'll block like he's never blocked before... because this is it for him: there's no hall of fame in Jeff Thomason's future. So, option two for the Eagles is the less skilled, future construction worker who has spent the past year outside using his body to work, who won't talk any trash at all, and who will be humble enough to do whatever the coach asks him to do. Advantage: Jeff Thomason.
Hey, Tom Brady! Nice hair.
From the "You've got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME" file, it looks like the conservative Christians are attacking another "gay" television icon. The target? SpongeBob SquarePants. Oh, it's about time! I mean, seriously, how long can we, as a society, stand someone who enjoys going to work, likes dancing, and is loyal to friends (even if the friends hate him [Squidward])? Let's keep our kids away from this certain threat to the straight-person way of life! (You know what I mean... people who hate work, don't dance in public, and would sell their best friends for the right price. Gooooooo straight people!) Okay, okay... seriously, the problem that the conservative Christians have with SpongeBob is that he will be appearing in a music video about to be sent to 61,000 schools. The music video's focus: encouraging tolerance and diversity. The irony is not lost on me. Is it lost on you? Good. You're smart. AND attractive. Apparently there's a gene pool. Why didn't you come? You weren't operating? (those were the lines of the, now famous, Alexander Theodore Carroll in "Going In")
#2 Best Post of 2004 - 2004, An Evolution in Blognology! This is not a particular post, so perhaps it isn't fair to be on the list, or so high on the list. But, 2004 brought about HUGE changes to this blog: the look, the feel, the touch, of cotton. What? I don't know. But I completely changed the look of the site in 2004; I added a comments section; I added the sitemeter; I've added pictures (at times)... and, in all honesty, if I didn't point out that all that stuff happened in the past year, you probably wouldn't have remembered how different this page looked when I started. I almost can't even remember what it looked like before all the changes (almost = can't) (you "can't can't even remember"?) (shut up). But, when I think about it, I find it difficult to believe that my blog could have changed so much in the past year... I also find it difficult to believe I'm still even doing it. Perseverance was only one of my stronger points... with the ladies at least. I'm consistent, you've GOTTA give me that. Irrigation... I mean regardless, 2004 was a year when the whole feeling of the site and the posts on it changed drastically. That's why this is up at number two. It's the evolution, baby.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
New Developments
A lot of today was spent playing KOTOR II. It's different than the first one, in that, at least on Nar Shaada, you have to rely on the other members of your team a lot. It seems there are more "solo" missions, than the first one. So, unlike the first KOTOR, you can't just rely on having a balanced team where one person is in charge of dealing with computers/security, one person who kicks ass, and one person who can use force powers effectively. This will, in the long run, be better for me I think. The problem I had at the end of the last game was that I had to fight the boss by myself... and had created a character based on having a three-person team. The gameplay in KOTOR II, is forcing me to have a far more balanced team of individuals. It's as if they have been taking to heart the "army of one" Army commercials.
But I didn't just sit around playing KOTOR all day. I went downtown and got my headshots developed today. On my way into the store, a woman in a wheelchair was also trying to get into the store. She pushed the wheelchair button, but was unable to make it through the door in time. So I helped her through. But, what the crap?... why isn't there a little longer delay on those doors? That door sucked... it seemed to close a lot faster than normal "wheelchair accessible" doors, that's all I'm saying. Anyway, so I got my headshots developed and I will eventually post them, asking for an opinion on which one is best. Sound like fun? *sigh* I know I'll have to decide, and that's fine. But you could at least humor me and reply with witty comments on the size of my head or something.
#3 Best of 2004 - Jean's Wedding This one was an obvious choice for the top ten list, but could have been higher had Jean not forced me at gunpoint to sing in the actual wedding. Or forced me at gunpoint to sing a song in my range. But being able to play with Ken and Nate again was awesome. The songs at the reception went very well... and was something I'll always remember. The weekend was an event, to be sure... complete with a car trip long enough for Ken and I to lose my voice; a rainy hay-ride; and more food than I could shake a tailfeather at. It was not the first wedding I've attended of a good friend of mine... that honorable distinction goes to the vanished Chad Thoreson. And, like a black-hole, married life sucked him in and he was never seen nor heard from again. Unfortunately for me, that dark cloud hung over Jean's wedding weekend. But, all in all, it was a great time had by all... allowing old friends the chance to get together one last time before one of us dies. Metaphorically, of course. Oh... come on, I'm just kidding. Lighten up!
A lot of today was spent playing KOTOR II. It's different than the first one, in that, at least on Nar Shaada, you have to rely on the other members of your team a lot. It seems there are more "solo" missions, than the first one. So, unlike the first KOTOR, you can't just rely on having a balanced team where one person is in charge of dealing with computers/security, one person who kicks ass, and one person who can use force powers effectively. This will, in the long run, be better for me I think. The problem I had at the end of the last game was that I had to fight the boss by myself... and had created a character based on having a three-person team. The gameplay in KOTOR II, is forcing me to have a far more balanced team of individuals. It's as if they have been taking to heart the "army of one" Army commercials.
But I didn't just sit around playing KOTOR all day. I went downtown and got my headshots developed today. On my way into the store, a woman in a wheelchair was also trying to get into the store. She pushed the wheelchair button, but was unable to make it through the door in time. So I helped her through. But, what the crap?... why isn't there a little longer delay on those doors? That door sucked... it seemed to close a lot faster than normal "wheelchair accessible" doors, that's all I'm saying. Anyway, so I got my headshots developed and I will eventually post them, asking for an opinion on which one is best. Sound like fun? *sigh* I know I'll have to decide, and that's fine. But you could at least humor me and reply with witty comments on the size of my head or something.
#3 Best of 2004 - Jean's Wedding This one was an obvious choice for the top ten list, but could have been higher had Jean not forced me at gunpoint to sing in the actual wedding. Or forced me at gunpoint to sing a song in my range. But being able to play with Ken and Nate again was awesome. The songs at the reception went very well... and was something I'll always remember. The weekend was an event, to be sure... complete with a car trip long enough for Ken and I to lose my voice; a rainy hay-ride; and more food than I could shake a tailfeather at. It was not the first wedding I've attended of a good friend of mine... that honorable distinction goes to the vanished Chad Thoreson. And, like a black-hole, married life sucked him in and he was never seen nor heard from again. Unfortunately for me, that dark cloud hung over Jean's wedding weekend. But, all in all, it was a great time had by all... allowing old friends the chance to get together one last time before one of us dies. Metaphorically, of course. Oh... come on, I'm just kidding. Lighten up!
Monday, January 24, 2005
The Cultural Impact of Fingernail Polish
This afternoon I got hooked watching Mystic River on HBO. I've seen parts of it on HBO before, but never from the beginning... so, when I find myself watching it, I always stop myself after a minute thinking "shoot... I wish I would've seen this from the beginning". Well, today I did. And, even though I was captivated by it until the end (it held my attention), the ending left me so unsatisfied that I hope I never see it again. Yep. It was one of those movies that you like all the way through, get to the end, and say "Well... at least I'm glad I saw it once." What a waste of two and a half hours. *sigh* I'm glad I saw it once.
Tonight was yet another Writing Five Rehearsal. We really didn't block anything new... and I'm starting to feel like a douche for not having more stuff memorized, because it seems like everyone else is very much on their way to being done. Only Brian and I are REALLY still looking at our scripts... which makes me feel like I'm irresponsible or something. But, come on, we haven't even blocked the whole show yet... how ridiculous is it to be off book when the whole show isn't blocked. I guess I have more of a mental problem with it than anything. Once I can get my head into just sitting down and doing it, there won't/shouldn't be a problem. Additionally, now that Basically Awesome is over, I've got extra room in my head for more scripts. Heehee... oh it's true and you know it. My memory is probably about 20 megs, which makes me completely obsolete, but it also means I don't have space for new stuff while the old stuff needs to be in there. Regardless, I've got the brain room now, so look out!
During one of the breaks of our rehearsal tonight, we were all talking about Johnny Carson, so I was able to do my Johnny Carson impression... which, as I've said before, is pretty much the only impression that I still do well. One of the writers liked it so much, he made me do it again when another of the writers came back from the bathroom. -- Quick sidenote on me: Don't ever ask me to do "that one thing" that I do that's funny. If you put me on display, if I'm put on the spot, I just shut down. My head says "No way. Fuck you" and I just don't do whatever you asked. The trick, if you want me to do something specific, is to dance around it and then let me think I came up with doing it on my own. It is not as difficult as you think to manipulate me. Just ask... oh, nevermind who to ask. Just trust me, manipulating me is fun and easy.
Tonight we also came up with a name for our writing five show. After much deliberation, we came up with the title: "Sweet Pumpkin Pie and Other Niceties" I like that name, it has a nice ring to it. And I can type "Sweet Pumpkin Pie..." like that, when I'm talking about the show. Not like the last show I was in with the huge-ass name. Also, Sweet Pumpkin Pie has a nice visual attached to it. And, maybe, the actors will get free pumpkin pie out of the deal. Mmmm... will act for food.
When I got back from rehearsal, I checked my mail. I had two things of interest in my mailbox today: The first was from Albion College. I finally got something from that says to me, "Confirmation! We know you're going to England!" It was an England travel information pamphlet thingy from whoever Albion's getting to coordinate this trip. I'm not as excited about getting the pamphlet as I am about simply getting something from Albion saying "yes, we have been receiving the large checks of money you've been sending and you will, in fact, be going with us." It was a relief, honestly, just to get something from the school... because the first payment I made was when I had a job. And we all know how long ago THAT was! So, yes, I'll be going to England with the Albion College Choir in May. Hooray!
The second piece of mail I got today was from my son, Nick. He sent me a birthday present: pictures of our trip out West. Looking through them was like being washed over by memories... some of them swam right past me, but some of them made my clothes damp. I never said I was good at analogies. At any rate, there they were: pictures of Nick shaking a gorilla's hand a la Wise Blood; Nick attempting to pick Jefferson's nose, but actually poking his eye; me looking pissed off while trying (successfully) to beat Ken in NCAA Football for XBox; and a picture of Nick next to a long-forgotten-named waitress. I forget why we did this, but we started taking pictures of all of our waitresses (not waiters... who cares about them?). I'm trying to remember anything I can about the specific picture he sent. I remember we were in a truck stop/gas station... and I remember that I felt a little uncomfortable in that particular truck-stop. More than most of the places we stopped, I felt we really stuck out in that particular restaurant. I don't remember where we were, though. The dining area opened to the gas station convenience store... and it was very smoky. Where were we? Maybe eastern Colorado... some place in Kansas? And I just noticed Nick's black finger-nails, which the host in a restaurant in Cody, Wyoming, thought made us gay. Interesting, huh? How something as some and subtle as fingernail polish can change a person's perception of you. People are stupid.
#3 Worst of 2004 - Whatever Happened To... "Whatever happened to..." became my least favorite game in 2004. As new people entered my life here in Chicago, old friends disappeared. Perhaps this is one of my least favorite things about myself... though I am phenomenally caring to those around me, I am quite forgetful of those who are not. Unfortunately, for me, 2004 brought about a new place, new faces, and the loss of many old, dear friends. Perhaps, with work, 2005 will bring about resurrections.
This afternoon I got hooked watching Mystic River on HBO. I've seen parts of it on HBO before, but never from the beginning... so, when I find myself watching it, I always stop myself after a minute thinking "shoot... I wish I would've seen this from the beginning". Well, today I did. And, even though I was captivated by it until the end (it held my attention), the ending left me so unsatisfied that I hope I never see it again. Yep. It was one of those movies that you like all the way through, get to the end, and say "Well... at least I'm glad I saw it once." What a waste of two and a half hours. *sigh* I'm glad I saw it once.
Tonight was yet another Writing Five Rehearsal. We really didn't block anything new... and I'm starting to feel like a douche for not having more stuff memorized, because it seems like everyone else is very much on their way to being done. Only Brian and I are REALLY still looking at our scripts... which makes me feel like I'm irresponsible or something. But, come on, we haven't even blocked the whole show yet... how ridiculous is it to be off book when the whole show isn't blocked. I guess I have more of a mental problem with it than anything. Once I can get my head into just sitting down and doing it, there won't/shouldn't be a problem. Additionally, now that Basically Awesome is over, I've got extra room in my head for more scripts. Heehee... oh it's true and you know it. My memory is probably about 20 megs, which makes me completely obsolete, but it also means I don't have space for new stuff while the old stuff needs to be in there. Regardless, I've got the brain room now, so look out!
During one of the breaks of our rehearsal tonight, we were all talking about Johnny Carson, so I was able to do my Johnny Carson impression... which, as I've said before, is pretty much the only impression that I still do well. One of the writers liked it so much, he made me do it again when another of the writers came back from the bathroom. -- Quick sidenote on me: Don't ever ask me to do "that one thing" that I do that's funny. If you put me on display, if I'm put on the spot, I just shut down. My head says "No way. Fuck you" and I just don't do whatever you asked. The trick, if you want me to do something specific, is to dance around it and then let me think I came up with doing it on my own. It is not as difficult as you think to manipulate me. Just ask... oh, nevermind who to ask. Just trust me, manipulating me is fun and easy.
Tonight we also came up with a name for our writing five show. After much deliberation, we came up with the title: "Sweet Pumpkin Pie and Other Niceties" I like that name, it has a nice ring to it. And I can type "Sweet Pumpkin Pie..." like that, when I'm talking about the show. Not like the last show I was in with the huge-ass name. Also, Sweet Pumpkin Pie has a nice visual attached to it. And, maybe, the actors will get free pumpkin pie out of the deal. Mmmm... will act for food.
When I got back from rehearsal, I checked my mail. I had two things of interest in my mailbox today: The first was from Albion College. I finally got something from that says to me, "Confirmation! We know you're going to England!" It was an England travel information pamphlet thingy from whoever Albion's getting to coordinate this trip. I'm not as excited about getting the pamphlet as I am about simply getting something from Albion saying "yes, we have been receiving the large checks of money you've been sending and you will, in fact, be going with us." It was a relief, honestly, just to get something from the school... because the first payment I made was when I had a job. And we all know how long ago THAT was! So, yes, I'll be going to England with the Albion College Choir in May. Hooray!
The second piece of mail I got today was from my son, Nick. He sent me a birthday present: pictures of our trip out West. Looking through them was like being washed over by memories... some of them swam right past me, but some of them made my clothes damp. I never said I was good at analogies. At any rate, there they were: pictures of Nick shaking a gorilla's hand a la Wise Blood; Nick attempting to pick Jefferson's nose, but actually poking his eye; me looking pissed off while trying (successfully) to beat Ken in NCAA Football for XBox; and a picture of Nick next to a long-forgotten-named waitress. I forget why we did this, but we started taking pictures of all of our waitresses (not waiters... who cares about them?). I'm trying to remember anything I can about the specific picture he sent. I remember we were in a truck stop/gas station... and I remember that I felt a little uncomfortable in that particular truck-stop. More than most of the places we stopped, I felt we really stuck out in that particular restaurant. I don't remember where we were, though. The dining area opened to the gas station convenience store... and it was very smoky. Where were we? Maybe eastern Colorado... some place in Kansas? And I just noticed Nick's black finger-nails, which the host in a restaurant in Cody, Wyoming, thought made us gay. Interesting, huh? How something as some and subtle as fingernail polish can change a person's perception of you. People are stupid.
#3 Worst of 2004 - Whatever Happened To... "Whatever happened to..." became my least favorite game in 2004. As new people entered my life here in Chicago, old friends disappeared. Perhaps this is one of my least favorite things about myself... though I am phenomenally caring to those around me, I am quite forgetful of those who are not. Unfortunately, for me, 2004 brought about a new place, new faces, and the loss of many old, dear friends. Perhaps, with work, 2005 will bring about resurrections.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Basically Awful Closes
Waking up this morning was odd. When I woke up, I was in my apartment, as usual, but I knew that my entire family was very close... but that I wouldn't get a chance to see them until mid-morning; and then only briefly. For the brief time together, we decided to go to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. The Cheesecake Factory is quickly becoming my favorite restaurant. It was a great meal and the whole family was VERY full by the time we were finished. And then, before I knew it, they were gone. Gone again...
Today was the closing night of Basically Awesome. We were opening for Poppyseed Lane, again, and I was very excited for this particular show. I figured that it would be the best show yet, considering how comfortable my cast had become on stage (for the first time, for some of us)... and considering the last time we went first I felt the audience responded to us better, I was really looking forward to a great show. Um... that sort of happened. WE did well... but the audience was... well, um, the audience was particular. Let's be honest here, the audience knew what it liked... and certainly knew what it didn't. After the dance number they clapped... after Evolution, silence. Not even mercy clapping. Then we sang the Jesus song and got more clapping... then some more scenes with less (read: no) clapping... and it went on like that for the rest of the show. It was a harsh lesson for my crew... but something we needed, I think. Everything about this show has taught me to aim higher... and I think this particular night taught all of us why we aim so high: because no one likes to finish a scene to a silent audience. It's painful.
And pain leads to... the bar! We decided to go out as a double-bill... our show and Poppyseed Lane. Everyone was there. Unfortunately for us, there was only room for half of us at the front of the bar, and half of us at the back of the bar. So we were, again, broken up by cast. But, after getting some greasy-fried bar food, and having a few of our members leave to go home, the bar cleared out enough that we could sit with some of the Poppyseed Lane crew. There were only three of their five members there, but we still had a pretty good time with them. One of the guys, Bill, has been on Premium Blend on Comedy Central... and he works at the Howl At The Moon dueling piano bar here in Chicago. If you go on the website, you can even see a picture of him. He's the guy in the picture at the bottom, who looks like he's really into it. He is hilarious... and was very good in their show.
On the way back to the Poppyseed Lane table, I passed another table of actors. It was, perhaps, the most awesome table ever. Seated around this table was half of the Second City mainstage cast and half of the e.t.c. cast. Jen Bills wasn't there or I would have stopped... and Claudia was there, but I'm not so sure she remembers who I am. Maybe she does... maybe she doesn't. I do think she probably remembers I was a student of hers... she just doesn't remember which one. You know?
And, finally tonight, a great man and entertainer of millions, Johnny Carson, passed away today at the age of 79. His final Tonight Show was in 1993, and I was 12 years old. I'm not really old enough to remember much of him... just that he used to make my dad laugh... and my grandfather thought he was a good man, with a kind heart. And I remember Dana Carvey's impression of him, too... it's probably the only impression I still do that's any good. Rest In Peace, Johnny... you were one hell of an entertainer.
#3 Best Post of 2004 - CrazyJohn get Political Yes, 2004 was the year I started getting vocally political. I think the first good example of this was on June 4th when I took on the 10 Commandments. I think I felt comfortable starting here because the article was basically talking about law... and I feel comfortable talking about law, because I think I know a little bit about it. I then used that confidence to speak about the gay marriage debate on July 10th... speaking specifically on the "destruction" of marriage as it relates to the foundations of a society. That means I was basically trying to actively debate Bush's stance. I even posted some things about the election in early November! And we should ALL remember the verbal beat-down I gave We Are Not Sorry.com on December 4th. I ripped them a new one... basically because the site looks like it was created by ten-year-olds. All in all, a very political year for the Crazy One... which will probably end now that I'm apathetic to everything everywhere. Hooray!
Waking up this morning was odd. When I woke up, I was in my apartment, as usual, but I knew that my entire family was very close... but that I wouldn't get a chance to see them until mid-morning; and then only briefly. For the brief time together, we decided to go to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. The Cheesecake Factory is quickly becoming my favorite restaurant. It was a great meal and the whole family was VERY full by the time we were finished. And then, before I knew it, they were gone. Gone again...
Today was the closing night of Basically Awesome. We were opening for Poppyseed Lane, again, and I was very excited for this particular show. I figured that it would be the best show yet, considering how comfortable my cast had become on stage (for the first time, for some of us)... and considering the last time we went first I felt the audience responded to us better, I was really looking forward to a great show. Um... that sort of happened. WE did well... but the audience was... well, um, the audience was particular. Let's be honest here, the audience knew what it liked... and certainly knew what it didn't. After the dance number they clapped... after Evolution, silence. Not even mercy clapping. Then we sang the Jesus song and got more clapping... then some more scenes with less (read: no) clapping... and it went on like that for the rest of the show. It was a harsh lesson for my crew... but something we needed, I think. Everything about this show has taught me to aim higher... and I think this particular night taught all of us why we aim so high: because no one likes to finish a scene to a silent audience. It's painful.
And pain leads to... the bar! We decided to go out as a double-bill... our show and Poppyseed Lane. Everyone was there. Unfortunately for us, there was only room for half of us at the front of the bar, and half of us at the back of the bar. So we were, again, broken up by cast. But, after getting some greasy-fried bar food, and having a few of our members leave to go home, the bar cleared out enough that we could sit with some of the Poppyseed Lane crew. There were only three of their five members there, but we still had a pretty good time with them. One of the guys, Bill, has been on Premium Blend on Comedy Central... and he works at the Howl At The Moon dueling piano bar here in Chicago. If you go on the website, you can even see a picture of him. He's the guy in the picture at the bottom, who looks like he's really into it. He is hilarious... and was very good in their show.
On the way back to the Poppyseed Lane table, I passed another table of actors. It was, perhaps, the most awesome table ever. Seated around this table was half of the Second City mainstage cast and half of the e.t.c. cast. Jen Bills wasn't there or I would have stopped... and Claudia was there, but I'm not so sure she remembers who I am. Maybe she does... maybe she doesn't. I do think she probably remembers I was a student of hers... she just doesn't remember which one. You know?
And, finally tonight, a great man and entertainer of millions, Johnny Carson, passed away today at the age of 79. His final Tonight Show was in 1993, and I was 12 years old. I'm not really old enough to remember much of him... just that he used to make my dad laugh... and my grandfather thought he was a good man, with a kind heart. And I remember Dana Carvey's impression of him, too... it's probably the only impression I still do that's any good. Rest In Peace, Johnny... you were one hell of an entertainer.
#3 Best Post of 2004 - CrazyJohn get Political Yes, 2004 was the year I started getting vocally political. I think the first good example of this was on June 4th when I took on the 10 Commandments. I think I felt comfortable starting here because the article was basically talking about law... and I feel comfortable talking about law, because I think I know a little bit about it. I then used that confidence to speak about the gay marriage debate on July 10th... speaking specifically on the "destruction" of marriage as it relates to the foundations of a society. That means I was basically trying to actively debate Bush's stance. I even posted some things about the election in early November! And we should ALL remember the verbal beat-down I gave We Are Not Sorry.com on December 4th. I ripped them a new one... basically because the site looks like it was created by ten-year-olds. All in all, a very political year for the Crazy One... which will probably end now that I'm apathetic to everything everywhere. Hooray!
Saturday, January 22, 2005
The Great Blizzard of Aught Five
In the morning, the Chicagoland area was still feeling the effects of the great blizzard of '05. My family decided to go to IHOP for breakfast and see if the weather might get good enough to spend some time together in town. Alas, it did not, and we even had thoughts of dropping me off at the Metra station in Glenview and having me take the train into the city. I would have been more than willing to do that, it wasn't a big deal... but I think my dad preferred the actual time with me over the danger of braving the roads again. We then drove into the city... and the driving was not as bad as the night before, but my dad decided it was going to be a little too tricky to see a 10:30 show and then try to find his way back to the hotel in the dark with the snow. In short (too late), my family did NOT end up making it to see Mockupations, even though they were in the area.
My dad dropped me off in Chicago with just enough time for me to check my email, eat some dinner, shower, dress, and head to the Second City. Week two of Mockupations was unlike any other show I've ever been a part of. I like to call Mockupations week 2: The Katy Show! Only about twenty people braved the cold and snow to come see the show... and at least 75% of them (not 15 people, 75% of everyone there) came to see Katy. She's from Dallas, Texas and her family flew up to see the show and spend some time with her. So of course THEY weren't going to miss the show. Which was good for ticket sales... bad for the rest of the actors. For, you see, for the first time in my acting career, the audience had a strong feeling towards just one person in the cast (and that one person wasn't me). It was weird because everything that Katy said was HILARIOUS!, but everyone else in the cast got only chuckles (including me). Granted, by the end of the show, I felt like I was getting the second most laughs (I feel like audiences eventually like me, even if they don't like me right away). Regardless, I left this performance as unsatisfied as I left the last one. Hopefully next week I'll figure out what I need to do to get the reaction I want from the crowd, and things will fall into place for me. Hopefully.
#4 Best of 2004 - Level 5 Show... Maybe This Isn't The Right Forum For This, But Please Stop Making Your Dogs Wear Hats Yes... the writing five show that I was in over the summer was one of the best experiences I've had so far at the Second City. Not only did that show give me experience (finally!) at the Second City on one of it's stages, but it also gave me a confidence that I had been lacking previously. I was intimidated by the training center and the talent within... but there I was, the only actor not in the Conservatory, keeping up with the rest of them. And I did have to keep up... everyone else in the cast was very talented, and I had to do everything I could to keep up with them. So I got better, just by being in the show. In addition, not only was this show the one show, but acting in it led to my inclusion in The Assistant Director's Cut and Mockupations. Let's call this show my own personal gateway drug.
In the morning, the Chicagoland area was still feeling the effects of the great blizzard of '05. My family decided to go to IHOP for breakfast and see if the weather might get good enough to spend some time together in town. Alas, it did not, and we even had thoughts of dropping me off at the Metra station in Glenview and having me take the train into the city. I would have been more than willing to do that, it wasn't a big deal... but I think my dad preferred the actual time with me over the danger of braving the roads again. We then drove into the city... and the driving was not as bad as the night before, but my dad decided it was going to be a little too tricky to see a 10:30 show and then try to find his way back to the hotel in the dark with the snow. In short (too late), my family did NOT end up making it to see Mockupations, even though they were in the area.
My dad dropped me off in Chicago with just enough time for me to check my email, eat some dinner, shower, dress, and head to the Second City. Week two of Mockupations was unlike any other show I've ever been a part of. I like to call Mockupations week 2: The Katy Show! Only about twenty people braved the cold and snow to come see the show... and at least 75% of them (not 15 people, 75% of everyone there) came to see Katy. She's from Dallas, Texas and her family flew up to see the show and spend some time with her. So of course THEY weren't going to miss the show. Which was good for ticket sales... bad for the rest of the actors. For, you see, for the first time in my acting career, the audience had a strong feeling towards just one person in the cast (and that one person wasn't me). It was weird because everything that Katy said was HILARIOUS!, but everyone else in the cast got only chuckles (including me). Granted, by the end of the show, I felt like I was getting the second most laughs (I feel like audiences eventually like me, even if they don't like me right away). Regardless, I left this performance as unsatisfied as I left the last one. Hopefully next week I'll figure out what I need to do to get the reaction I want from the crowd, and things will fall into place for me. Hopefully.
#4 Best of 2004 - Level 5 Show... Maybe This Isn't The Right Forum For This, But Please Stop Making Your Dogs Wear Hats Yes... the writing five show that I was in over the summer was one of the best experiences I've had so far at the Second City. Not only did that show give me experience (finally!) at the Second City on one of it's stages, but it also gave me a confidence that I had been lacking previously. I was intimidated by the training center and the talent within... but there I was, the only actor not in the Conservatory, keeping up with the rest of them. And I did have to keep up... everyone else in the cast was very talented, and I had to do everything I could to keep up with them. So I got better, just by being in the show. In addition, not only was this show the one show, but acting in it led to my inclusion in The Assistant Director's Cut and Mockupations. Let's call this show my own personal gateway drug.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Now for the actual Friday post!
Something I forgot from the survey: I fence right-handed. And I kick ass at fencing, too... just so everyone knows. And I'm modest. Obviously.
Today, my family came to Chicago to see my shows. They got here in the afternoon, and took me out to Glenview where they were staying. When we got out to Glenview, they took me to Chipotle for "lunch" at like 3. They then took me back into town and bought me groceries. This is one of the few things that my parents still always do for me... my mom always makes sure that I have enough food. It's her way of coping with me "growing up" I think: food and laundry... and cooking utensils. Oh, my mom!
That night we saw my writing five show, "Mankind..." and my family seemed to really enjoy it. It was the best the actors had done so far... which I think is because it was the largest audience they've had so far. The audience seemed into it from the beginning, and so were the actors. It was a good feeling... having everything seem to fit the way you wanted it to. I enjoyed the show, myself, for probably the first time since it opened. I was a little nervous that my family wouldn't like what I wrote, or the show in general, but they are so supportive that my fears quickly melted and I was able to enjoy my family enjoying my writing. It was, overall, a good feeling.
After the show, we had to drive to Glenview... and, let me tell you, it was as close to a blizzard as I've ever been it. It was interesting to see Chicago drivers (known for their quick lane-changes and seeming-obliviousness to all others) driving slowly and in only one of the four lanes. We were all single file for a few miles... everyone just making sure that they kept moving forward and didn't spin out or end up in a ditch. It was interesting to see. Unfortunately, my dad did not see the beauty in the vehicular-comradery and, instead, decided to be in a bad mood. I had been in the mood to eat dinner at Bennigans or Stake 'N Shake, both on the way to the hotel, but my father decided he'd rather get us there in "one piece" then waste an hour or so talking and eating.
When we got to the hotel, it was thankfully one of those hotels with a kitchen and microwave... so the hotel had a little "market" where they sold mircowavable dinners and little snacky-type items. We bought some dinners and went back to the room to eat and watch the first episode of the new season of Monk. While a certain Albion student doesn't like the show because it inaccurately depicts someone with OCD, I disagree that it is more harmful than helpful. One of the keys, one of the foundations of comedy is a strong comic perspective: Monk is a detective who fears everything... yet constantly faces those fears to help others. They have created a kind of self-powered perpetual comedy machine. As long as there is something in the world to fear, there could be another episode of Monk. They'll grow tired of writing episodes before we grow tired of watching them. Or the fears will become so trite and trivial that they won't hold the comic weight of the expectations we have for the show, and the show will collapse on itself. Regardless, the woman from Two Guys and a Girl (LOVE THAT SHOW!) is going to be the new nurse to help Monk. She's not as good as Sharona, but few can match the acting mastery of the woman who played Evelyn Gardner in A League of Their Own! (of "No crying in baseball!" fame) ("Oh! We remember her now") (Good... I thought that would do it)
#4 Worst of 2004 - Beginning Improv Level D Class/Show Now, don't get me wrong, I love Jen Bills. LOVE her! But that's probably why this is so high up on my list... the sheer disappointment connected with this class: because of the teacher being so awesome, and particularly because Level C (with Claudia) had been so incredible! And here it is, number 4 on my list. I don't think I can fully express how down this class made me... but I can say that, it was during this class that I started to wish I was doing something besides improv. I was, in all honesty, ready to quit improv all together and see if I couldn't do some real acting with professionals. I became so sick of having to put up with people who weren't serious about the work... even though the work is comedy, a lot of folks say that it's more difficult than dramatic theatre. While I don't necessarily agree, I feel like comedy is something that you can learn in the right environment, I still treat it very seriously... and the learning of proven comic approaches I take equally seriously. I was so frustrated by the maturity level of that whole class... by the way we had been smashed together with another class... by everything, that I was just ready to quit. I'm not exactly sure why I kept going... maybe just a blind obedience (to just do what I'm supposed to do; It's a Catholic thing), or maybe it was my miserly nature (spending $30 per night makes me not want to skip class), or maybe it was something else... I guess I'll never know. But I do know that this had a happy ending, eventually. So don't feel too bad about it, kids.
Something I forgot from the survey: I fence right-handed. And I kick ass at fencing, too... just so everyone knows. And I'm modest. Obviously.
Today, my family came to Chicago to see my shows. They got here in the afternoon, and took me out to Glenview where they were staying. When we got out to Glenview, they took me to Chipotle for "lunch" at like 3. They then took me back into town and bought me groceries. This is one of the few things that my parents still always do for me... my mom always makes sure that I have enough food. It's her way of coping with me "growing up" I think: food and laundry... and cooking utensils. Oh, my mom!
That night we saw my writing five show, "Mankind..." and my family seemed to really enjoy it. It was the best the actors had done so far... which I think is because it was the largest audience they've had so far. The audience seemed into it from the beginning, and so were the actors. It was a good feeling... having everything seem to fit the way you wanted it to. I enjoyed the show, myself, for probably the first time since it opened. I was a little nervous that my family wouldn't like what I wrote, or the show in general, but they are so supportive that my fears quickly melted and I was able to enjoy my family enjoying my writing. It was, overall, a good feeling.
After the show, we had to drive to Glenview... and, let me tell you, it was as close to a blizzard as I've ever been it. It was interesting to see Chicago drivers (known for their quick lane-changes and seeming-obliviousness to all others) driving slowly and in only one of the four lanes. We were all single file for a few miles... everyone just making sure that they kept moving forward and didn't spin out or end up in a ditch. It was interesting to see. Unfortunately, my dad did not see the beauty in the vehicular-comradery and, instead, decided to be in a bad mood. I had been in the mood to eat dinner at Bennigans or Stake 'N Shake, both on the way to the hotel, but my father decided he'd rather get us there in "one piece" then waste an hour or so talking and eating.
When we got to the hotel, it was thankfully one of those hotels with a kitchen and microwave... so the hotel had a little "market" where they sold mircowavable dinners and little snacky-type items. We bought some dinners and went back to the room to eat and watch the first episode of the new season of Monk. While a certain Albion student doesn't like the show because it inaccurately depicts someone with OCD, I disagree that it is more harmful than helpful. One of the keys, one of the foundations of comedy is a strong comic perspective: Monk is a detective who fears everything... yet constantly faces those fears to help others. They have created a kind of self-powered perpetual comedy machine. As long as there is something in the world to fear, there could be another episode of Monk. They'll grow tired of writing episodes before we grow tired of watching them. Or the fears will become so trite and trivial that they won't hold the comic weight of the expectations we have for the show, and the show will collapse on itself. Regardless, the woman from Two Guys and a Girl (LOVE THAT SHOW!) is going to be the new nurse to help Monk. She's not as good as Sharona, but few can match the acting mastery of the woman who played Evelyn Gardner in A League of Their Own! (of "No crying in baseball!" fame) ("Oh! We remember her now") (Good... I thought that would do it)
#4 Worst of 2004 - Beginning Improv Level D Class/Show Now, don't get me wrong, I love Jen Bills. LOVE her! But that's probably why this is so high up on my list... the sheer disappointment connected with this class: because of the teacher being so awesome, and particularly because Level C (with Claudia) had been so incredible! And here it is, number 4 on my list. I don't think I can fully express how down this class made me... but I can say that, it was during this class that I started to wish I was doing something besides improv. I was, in all honesty, ready to quit improv all together and see if I couldn't do some real acting with professionals. I became so sick of having to put up with people who weren't serious about the work... even though the work is comedy, a lot of folks say that it's more difficult than dramatic theatre. While I don't necessarily agree, I feel like comedy is something that you can learn in the right environment, I still treat it very seriously... and the learning of proven comic approaches I take equally seriously. I was so frustrated by the maturity level of that whole class... by the way we had been smashed together with another class... by everything, that I was just ready to quit. I'm not exactly sure why I kept going... maybe just a blind obedience (to just do what I'm supposed to do; It's a Catholic thing), or maybe it was my miserly nature (spending $30 per night makes me not want to skip class), or maybe it was something else... I guess I'll never know. But I do know that this had a happy ending, eventually. So don't feel too bad about it, kids.
Thanks to Amy Feder for posting a survey. I LOVE these things!!!
-- Name: John Steeno
-- Birthdate: December 28, 1980 (Hey Feder! you were born in 1984... we could get married!)
-- Birthplace: Macomb, IL
-- Current Location: Chicago, IL
-- Eye Color: baby blue
-- Hair Color: it's going to be brown with a 60% chance of balding, so bundle up.
-- Height: 5' 10''
-- Righty or Lefty: Oh, this will be fun. I don't think I've ever made a list. Things I do left-handed: throwing footballs, hockey, tennis, serving or spiking a volleyball, baseball, golf, using a hammer, bowling, eating (mostly left-handed), brushing my teeth, talking on the phone (it's always in my left hand). Things I do right-handed: writing, basketball, frisbee, throwing darts, using a screwdriver, cutting with scissors, bowling (More control right-handed, stronger left-handed. It's true, ask Nate or Jason), eating, brushing teeth (I switch).... and I've got two hands for lovin' the ladies. Oww owww!!!
BTW... let me know if I'm missing anything from that list. And, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking... the answer is left-handed. You sick fuck.
-- Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
LAYER TWO: On The Inside
-- Your heritage: Belgian, Irish, French-Canadian, Austrian/German... Hey, do you have any Irish in you? *wink*
-- The shoes you wore today: ADIDAS
-- Your weakness: women and food. And especially women with food.
-- Your fears: Drowning; being buried alive; anything that gives me a lot of time to think and know that I'm about to die; the meaninglessness of all existence
-- Your perfect pizza: Ham, Pineapple, Jalapenos
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: I've always wanted to bang the prom queen. It doesn't matter which prom... I'll take any queen. (get back Elton John! [oh... that was a cheap joke])
LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
-- Your most overused phrase: "Is that what the kids are saying now-a-days?", and all things condescending.
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Ahh... fuck. What the... oh man it's 9, why am I even awake?
-- Your best physical feature: My eyes and Feder's butt. What? My eyes.
-- Your bedtime: like 2 or 3.
-- Your most missed memory: What? If I miss the memory, I don't remember it, right? Um... so that one great memory I had that I lost. I don't understand this question at all. Oh... is it a memory of what I miss most? Hmm... I, honestly, think it's either watching SpongeBob SquarePants with Mr. John Sellers while eating dinner; or something like pissing off Courtney, or hitting on Randi, while Amber and Sarah try to no avail to get me to lay off.
LAYER FOUR: Your Pick
-- Pepsi or Coke: I'm not from the dirty south. I'll take a Pepsi, please
-- McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King. McDonalds sucks.
-- Single or group dates: At this point, I'll take either.
-- Adidas or Nike: Adidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: What?! Well, I do like that Brisk stuff, and that's Lipton.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: I don't drink either. But Cappuccino isn't a euphemism for a date that will most certainly lead to sexual intercourse, so I'll say coffee.
LAYER FIVE: Do You?
-- Smoke: No
-- Cuss: It's tough not to. I didn't cuss for all of Easter once... beating the pants of Randi in a bet (which I STILL say I won. I said "damn" and Randi said "fuck"; which is worse?)
-- Have a crush(es): The only thing that gets me through the day.
-- Do you think you've been in love: *sigh* yes
-- Want to go to college: Again? Why not?
-- Like high school: Not any more. I think I got too smart.
-- Want to get married: Are you asking? "Do you, survey, take this man..." Let's see if THAT gets past W.
-- Believe in yourself: Nope. And yes.
-- Get motion sickness: Nope.
-- Think you're a health freak?: Are you asking if I think I'm a freak? Then, no.
-- Get along with your parents: Yeah... the Rents are still jumpin' off houses.
-- Like thunderstorms: When I'm inside, yes. When I'm outside, no.
-- Play an instrument: I've learned and forgotten how to play more instruments than I care to disclose. (Hint: two)
LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Yes
-- Smoked: No
-- Done a drug: Um... alcohol technically counts, so yes.
-- Made Out: Ah... no.
-- Gone on a date: Um... no.
-- Gone to the mall: No.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I could do that... but no.
-- Eaten sushi: Not in the past month
-- Been on stage: It's almost like I've been living there.
-- Been dumped: Ha! that would have been welcomed.
-- Gone skating: No
-- Made homemade cookies: Actually... yes
-- Gone skinny dipping: "if skinny dipping can be applied to land as well as water, then yes." What the fuck does that mean, Feder? You've swam naked in the land? You make no sense. And, no, I've got that mental thing where I can't be naked... even when I shower.
-- Dyed your hair: My hair has died. Ah ha ha haaa... damnit.
-- Stolen anything: Like the minds and hearts of millions? Then, no.
LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: I wouldn't say that, no.
-- Been caught "doing something": I'm pretty sure Sellers knew what was going on.
-- Been called a tease: Yeah. I'm awesome.
-- Gotten beaten up: Not really.
-- Shoplifted: From an actual shop, no. I did steal some mints from a display that said "pay a dollar to support..." whoever. Then I felt so bad, I went back the next day and put in like three dollars.
LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older
-- Age you hope to be married: I hope I'm married by the time I'm sixty. And we'll work backwards from there. Hell, I hope I'm married by the time I'm 35... because, by that time, my wife and I would really have to start kickin' out kids if I'm going to get my whole football team.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: How ironic that you ask that. I'm going to name them all their jersey number... you know, for the football team. There will be #4, #44, #80, #88, #25, I could go on forever.
-- How do you want to die: I want to die in a way that people laugh when they hear it... but then remember that someone died, and it makes them feel bad. Like slipping on a banana peel and falling into a vat of pudding. I love making people laugh and then feel bad. It's my two favorite things!
-- Where you want to go to college: Notre Dame Law School.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Rich.
-- What country would you most like to visit: Well... I'm going to England in May. But I'd love to go to Ireland. So green... and Irish... so many red headed women. Mmm...
LAYER NINE: In a partner
-- Best eye color?: Green
-- Best hair color?: COME ON. We all know this one.
-- Short or long hair: Long. I'm not digging this "short hair empowers me" shit. I've got short hair... and it just makes me feel bald. If you can grow it, fucking keep it. Women are stupid.
-- Height: I obviously have no preference here. But anyone over 6'3" would have to be a pretty special lady.
LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: probably less than a dozen of you. And, in all honesty, there are probably very few women. Sorry ladies... When I think of trusting my life with someone, I think of Ken and his hundreds and hundreds of guns. Although, now that I think about it, if I had to trust someone to keep a secret about my location, there are probably few men I could trust (this means you Ken, you big-mouthed bass-tard). So there are men I would trust with my life if it means shooting someone; and there are women I would trust with my life if it meant being smart.
-- Number of CDs that I own: A million billion
-- Number of piercings: 0
-- Number of tattoos: "there's one of a butt on my butt" Way to steal from Butt-Head, Feder. I have zero tattoos, but that might change.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the news paper: A zillion billion. I'm famous.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: I regret doing this survey (Zing!)... And I regret almost everything ever... because I'm Catholic and eternally will feel guilt and regret. Hooray!
-- Name: John Steeno
-- Birthdate: December 28, 1980 (Hey Feder! you were born in 1984... we could get married!)
-- Birthplace: Macomb, IL
-- Current Location: Chicago, IL
-- Eye Color: baby blue
-- Hair Color: it's going to be brown with a 60% chance of balding, so bundle up.
-- Height: 5' 10''
-- Righty or Lefty: Oh, this will be fun. I don't think I've ever made a list. Things I do left-handed: throwing footballs, hockey, tennis, serving or spiking a volleyball, baseball, golf, using a hammer, bowling, eating (mostly left-handed), brushing my teeth, talking on the phone (it's always in my left hand). Things I do right-handed: writing, basketball, frisbee, throwing darts, using a screwdriver, cutting with scissors, bowling (More control right-handed, stronger left-handed. It's true, ask Nate or Jason), eating, brushing teeth (I switch).... and I've got two hands for lovin' the ladies. Oww owww!!!
BTW... let me know if I'm missing anything from that list. And, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking... the answer is left-handed. You sick fuck.
-- Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
LAYER TWO: On The Inside
-- Your heritage: Belgian, Irish, French-Canadian, Austrian/German... Hey, do you have any Irish in you? *wink*
-- The shoes you wore today: ADIDAS
-- Your weakness: women and food. And especially women with food.
-- Your fears: Drowning; being buried alive; anything that gives me a lot of time to think and know that I'm about to die; the meaninglessness of all existence
-- Your perfect pizza: Ham, Pineapple, Jalapenos
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: I've always wanted to bang the prom queen. It doesn't matter which prom... I'll take any queen. (get back Elton John! [oh... that was a cheap joke])
LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
-- Your most overused phrase: "Is that what the kids are saying now-a-days?", and all things condescending.
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Ahh... fuck. What the... oh man it's 9, why am I even awake?
-- Your best physical feature: My eyes and Feder's butt. What? My eyes.
-- Your bedtime: like 2 or 3.
-- Your most missed memory: What? If I miss the memory, I don't remember it, right? Um... so that one great memory I had that I lost. I don't understand this question at all. Oh... is it a memory of what I miss most? Hmm... I, honestly, think it's either watching SpongeBob SquarePants with Mr. John Sellers while eating dinner; or something like pissing off Courtney, or hitting on Randi, while Amber and Sarah try to no avail to get me to lay off.
LAYER FOUR: Your Pick
-- Pepsi or Coke: I'm not from the dirty south. I'll take a Pepsi, please
-- McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King. McDonalds sucks.
-- Single or group dates: At this point, I'll take either.
-- Adidas or Nike: Adidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: What?! Well, I do like that Brisk stuff, and that's Lipton.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: I don't drink either. But Cappuccino isn't a euphemism for a date that will most certainly lead to sexual intercourse, so I'll say coffee.
LAYER FIVE: Do You?
-- Smoke: No
-- Cuss: It's tough not to. I didn't cuss for all of Easter once... beating the pants of Randi in a bet (which I STILL say I won. I said "damn" and Randi said "fuck"; which is worse?)
-- Have a crush(es): The only thing that gets me through the day.
-- Do you think you've been in love: *sigh* yes
-- Want to go to college: Again? Why not?
-- Like high school: Not any more. I think I got too smart.
-- Want to get married: Are you asking? "Do you, survey, take this man..." Let's see if THAT gets past W.
-- Believe in yourself: Nope. And yes.
-- Get motion sickness: Nope.
-- Think you're a health freak?: Are you asking if I think I'm a freak? Then, no.
-- Get along with your parents: Yeah... the Rents are still jumpin' off houses.
-- Like thunderstorms: When I'm inside, yes. When I'm outside, no.
-- Play an instrument: I've learned and forgotten how to play more instruments than I care to disclose. (Hint: two)
LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Yes
-- Smoked: No
-- Done a drug: Um... alcohol technically counts, so yes.
-- Made Out: Ah... no.
-- Gone on a date: Um... no.
-- Gone to the mall: No.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I could do that... but no.
-- Eaten sushi: Not in the past month
-- Been on stage: It's almost like I've been living there.
-- Been dumped: Ha! that would have been welcomed.
-- Gone skating: No
-- Made homemade cookies: Actually... yes
-- Gone skinny dipping: "if skinny dipping can be applied to land as well as water, then yes." What the fuck does that mean, Feder? You've swam naked in the land? You make no sense. And, no, I've got that mental thing where I can't be naked... even when I shower.
-- Dyed your hair: My hair has died. Ah ha ha haaa... damnit.
-- Stolen anything: Like the minds and hearts of millions? Then, no.
LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: I wouldn't say that, no.
-- Been caught "doing something": I'm pretty sure Sellers knew what was going on.
-- Been called a tease: Yeah. I'm awesome.
-- Gotten beaten up: Not really.
-- Shoplifted: From an actual shop, no. I did steal some mints from a display that said "pay a dollar to support..." whoever. Then I felt so bad, I went back the next day and put in like three dollars.
LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older
-- Age you hope to be married: I hope I'm married by the time I'm sixty. And we'll work backwards from there. Hell, I hope I'm married by the time I'm 35... because, by that time, my wife and I would really have to start kickin' out kids if I'm going to get my whole football team.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: How ironic that you ask that. I'm going to name them all their jersey number... you know, for the football team. There will be #4, #44, #80, #88, #25, I could go on forever.
-- How do you want to die: I want to die in a way that people laugh when they hear it... but then remember that someone died, and it makes them feel bad. Like slipping on a banana peel and falling into a vat of pudding. I love making people laugh and then feel bad. It's my two favorite things!
-- Where you want to go to college: Notre Dame Law School.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Rich.
-- What country would you most like to visit: Well... I'm going to England in May. But I'd love to go to Ireland. So green... and Irish... so many red headed women. Mmm...
LAYER NINE: In a partner
-- Best eye color?: Green
-- Best hair color?: COME ON. We all know this one.
-- Short or long hair: Long. I'm not digging this "short hair empowers me" shit. I've got short hair... and it just makes me feel bald. If you can grow it, fucking keep it. Women are stupid.
-- Height: I obviously have no preference here. But anyone over 6'3" would have to be a pretty special lady.
LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: probably less than a dozen of you. And, in all honesty, there are probably very few women. Sorry ladies... When I think of trusting my life with someone, I think of Ken and his hundreds and hundreds of guns. Although, now that I think about it, if I had to trust someone to keep a secret about my location, there are probably few men I could trust (this means you Ken, you big-mouthed bass-tard). So there are men I would trust with my life if it means shooting someone; and there are women I would trust with my life if it meant being smart.
-- Number of CDs that I own: A million billion
-- Number of piercings: 0
-- Number of tattoos: "there's one of a butt on my butt" Way to steal from Butt-Head, Feder. I have zero tattoos, but that might change.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the news paper: A zillion billion. I'm famous.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: I regret doing this survey (Zing!)... And I regret almost everything ever... because I'm Catholic and eternally will feel guilt and regret. Hooray!
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Jumpin' Off Houses!
Before I get into anything else, I have to tell you how incredibly irritating I find the TILT commercials on ESPN. They just keep playing over and over and over... like I give two shits about a movie about poker players. A movie about poker players made by ESPN, no less. What the feces? And I just figured out that TILT is a series... so I'm going to get these crap commercials until they "Playmakers" it (read: cancel it).
Tonight was also week two of my Conservatory Class. Before we started, I was sitting there, shootin' the poop with Fernando, doing that "is that what the kids are saying now-a-days?" schtick that I seem to never get tired of. And, for some reason, I said that something was so cool it was "jumpin' off houses." I don't know why that both struck us as funny, but we just thought it would be hilarious if people on the street started saying "Yo' ride is jumpin' off houses, B!" We think we're funny.
For the second half of class, Gellman had us start off space-walking. This is simply walking through a free space; no astronauts needed (sorry Court!). And we're walking and we're walking... and Gellman tells us to imagine we're on a beach somewhere. What do we hear? What do we smell? What does the sand feel like? Is it rocky? etc. I imagined myself on Lake Michigan at the beach here in Chicago. It was cold, but not winter... and the sun was just beginning to set. And there was no one around. I couldn't even hear the cars... just the water softly breaking on the beach. He then moved us to our least favorite urban street... and I found myself on Clybourn near Cabrini Green. It was dark, but a clear night... not really a cloudy sky. There were rusted parked cars on the street and it smelled of sewage. It's not just sewage though--I call it "city smell". You know it when you smell it. There were only a few street lights on, and the sidewalk was littered with paper and broken glass. It felt cold... and not a good cold at the beach, a "dark" cold. I started rubbing my arms to keep warm. He then said that we were invisible and could explore the street as we saw fit. The cold subsided and my curiosity took hold. I went up to boarded up windows and looked inside... I saw dusty rooms and broken furniture. He then told us to go to our favorite street... and I found myself instantly back at Albion, walking down the sidewalk of Hannah Street, about to see if anything was up in the KC or down at the theatre, when Gellman said "You're favorite street with shops." I drew a blank. In retrospect, I should have picked Michigan Avenue in historic downtown Big Rapids because I know it the best... but I didn't. Instead, I picked a street in (I think) Frankenmuth that I've probably only been to once... but it just popped into my head. I found myself on the front lawn of a candy store that looks like a house from the outside. It has trees and a little walk-way out front that leads to the street. The street is on a hill, and up the hill was a fudge shop... and down the hill was a pancake house that didn't exist on that street, but, rather, in St. Ignace, Michigan. I don't know why I put it there, but it was there. As I was exploring this half-made-up street, Gellman told us that there was a shop there we've never seen before, down some stairs, with an old-looking, thick wooden door and a brass handle. He told us to go down the stairs and open the door. Inside, he said, was a store filled with all my favorite things from my childhood up until now--it's as if someone stocked this store just for you. So I looked around... and on one of the counters was a book filled with all of the Marvel Comics collector's cards... from when I used to collect them... and on the shelf below them was the Marvel action figures... and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures... and next to the action figures was a couple of stuffed gorillas... and above the stuffed gorillas was XBox game. I pulled out KOTOR II to look at, and then put it back. Next to the games was a huge Lego set. And I was about to take apart some of the Legos, but Gellman noticed a glowing green door in the corner of the shop. Go to it, he said. As I approached the door, he told me it was locked. Look for the key, he advised. I looked on a shelf next to the glowing door... I brushed off book after book... and there it was, under an old cowbell. I took the key and the green door opened. I was in a long hallway with no doors. Gellman said that the hallway was empty, expect for mirrors on the sides of the hallway. In the mirrors was me, of course. But not just my reflection... every side of me. There was ComputerHelpDesk!John, Corporate!John, Jealous!John, Stage!John, Friend!John, InLove!John... and as I walked through this hallway, I started to become over-whelmed by... myself. My eye started to tear up... I couldn't stand seeing all the sides of myself at once... it was too much! Then Gellman told me to notice that I had entered a forest, when I was preoccupied with the mirrors. I was so relieved! I was in the woods by Adam LeClaire's house in Big Rapids. It was dark, but I knew there was still daylight. The pine smell filled my lungs, and I swatted a spider-web out of my face as I stepped over a log. I tried to move quietly because I could hear deer rustling in the brush to my right. I then came across a small creek. Rather than hop over it, I walked through it... letting it get my pants a little wet. Just a little water, no harm done. But the creek became a raging river... there was no turning back. As I moved forward through the other side of the forest... I began to notice it's differences. The trees weren't pine anymore... they were more like maple trees. They felt plastic, but looked real... and there was a sparkle in the air. I began to realize the forest's magic. It was enchanted. There was a small orange mushroom on the ground... I picked it up and smelled it. Even licked it... it didn't taste good. I don't like mushrooms. So I walked deeper into the forest... and it became clear to me that the forest was closing in behind me. For every step I took... the forest would close behind me... the trees covering the path. Up ahead was a tunnel. I entered it. It was just a big, earthy, round hole... but there was a torch near the entrance. I took it and made my way into the tunnel. It was dark, but clean... in that there weren't many rocks in my way. It was just a round hole... as if something had burrowed through it. I noticed that I was moving up through the hole... the hole was going up to something. I kept the torch in front of me... and kept climbing up the tunnel. It soon became clear that the hole was man-made, and the sides of the hole became rock and then stone: a smooth stone, as if someone had taken great care in the tunnel's construction. There was a light at the end of this tunnel. I made my way to it. At the end of the tunnel there was an arch-way that opened to the largest castle hall I had ever seen. The ceiling was so high, I could barely see it. And there were tapestries on the wall... simple, but elegant. Most were one color... green or red... with a different design in each center. At the middle of this great dining hall was a round table. As I made my way to it, I realized it was filled with my favorite foods and my favorite drinks. I put my torch down inside the candelabra, and I popped open a can of Fresca... after all that exploring, it was the greatest tasting drink I had ever had. I then dug into a big plate of fettucini alfredo... but then I heard a loud thud from outside. "No," I thought "Not until I have some of this cake!" But then the thud hit the castle wall... and I knew I wasn't safe. On the other side of the hall was another tunnel. I grabbed my torch and made it to the other tunnel. This tunnel went down... and it was rockier and dirtier than the first tunnel. There were even places when I had to squeeze myself through, just barely getting the torch and myself through. And there were also crystals... brilliant crystals that glistened under the torch light. I touched one and then licked my hand... it tasted salty. I then came to a dead-end. But there was a crawl-space below where I could crawl through. I hit the ground, pushing the torch ahead of me, and crawled through. On the other side of the dead-end was an underground river and a path. I followed the path for a while and noticed an odd silver metallic piece in the ground. I didn't know what it was for, it was like nothing I had ever seen... just a large lump of silver, but with sharper, smoother edges. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. I became aware that I was surrounded by ancient stalagmites and stalactites. I touched my hand to one of them and licked it... it tasted salty too, but a little like iron. The air then started to smell like sulfer and I put my arm up to my mouth to keep from coughing. It didn't help much, and I still coughed as I walked. I kept following the river until, up ahead, I could see a shiny golden cube. I walked up to it. It was unlike anything I had ever seen in my life. It was certainly man-made, as it was a perfect cube... and it looked welded and riveted in places, but it was such a brilliant gold color that I knew it couldn't be any metal I have ever encountered. I walked around the entire cube. On the backside of the cube was an opening... just a sliver of an opening. I knew I couldn't fit my hand in if I was still holding the torch, so I dropped it and slid inside. In the cube was a disc. I stood on it. As if responding to my weight, the cube started moving UP. Even though I was moving through solid earth, the cube did so with ease. Then I started moving sideways, and I was able to see all the dead civilizations buried deep beneath the surface, and I realized that I must have been the only person to ever see all of history so clearly like this. Then the cube moved up again and I reached the surface! When I got out of the cube, something was very different. I was in a very arid place. I looked up and there were two suns, one red and one a bright white. I looked down at my two shadows. While looking down, I noticed that the sand I thought I was standing on wasn't really sand. I bent down and picked some up. It behaved like sand... had granules like sand... but felt more solid under my feet. Even spongy. Off in the distance were mountains. Behind me... was what appeared to be an oasis. It looked like a small pool of water with palm trees surrounding it. I started walking towards it. It got further away. The faster I walked, the faster it left me... and I started running... and it got further away! So I stopped; and the oasis came to me. What had looked like water from a distance was actually a weird gelatin like substance. It was congealed like gelatin, but behaved in my hands like water. I tasted some... it tasted awful, nothing like water. It was like licking a smelly foot. I tried to see if the plants might have had some food. I picked a coconut looking fruit from off the tree. I tried to open it with my hands to no avail. I stepped on it as hard as I could and just ended up hurting my foot. But then, across the "water" I noticed what looked like a rose garden. I walked to it. I walked into it... and found myself on a polar ice cap, surrounded by snow, and standing on ice. The oasis was gone... and I tried to make my way across the ice to seek shelter. In the distance I saw what looked like an elevator door... just the door. I skated (not very gracefully) to it. It had a button with an arrow pointing down. I hit the button and the doors opened. I hopped inside and immediately started to warm up my ears with my hands, and then my hands by blowing in them. Inside the elevator was another button that said "Down". I pressed it, and the elevator moved downwards. When the elevator doors opened, I found myself in a statue garden. But not a normal statue garden, all the statues were made of pure light. And, as I approached the statues, I noticed that they were all depicting the greatest moments of my life. There was a statue of me introducing James Earl Jones in front of thousands of people; and there was a statue of me singing with the Euphonics; and there was a statue of me playing with Outer Core; and a statue of my first kiss; and a statue of falling in love in the snow under a Christmas tree; and as I walked through the garden, my eyes started to tear up again. But not from feeling overwhelmed like before, rather from the pure nostalgia of it all. I came upon a gate... it was locked with no handle. I didn't know what to do. Try using that piece of metal you put in your pocket, Gellman advised. I did and it worked. On the other side of the gate was a door which opened back into the store filled with my favorite things. Gellman gave us a choice: Take the green door back where you were, or take the door back to the street. Which do you think I chose?
At what point in that narrative did you forget that I was in a classroom with fifteen other people? I hope that happened to you, because I wrote this that way on purpose. Even though I was in a classroom with fifteen other people, and even though Gellman talked us through the whole process... the people, and even his voice, all melted away once I really got into it. It was just me and my adventure into the unknown. I honestly have no idea how long that exercise took. It may have been over an hour, in all honesty... we had that much time left in class. And here I am, a grown man with a degree in Philosophy, no less, having his mind completely blown away by the pure simplicity and sheer dominance of the human imagination. Yes, my eyes really teared up at the emotional flood of seeing myself and my past; yes, I really coughed because of the "sulfer smell"; yes, I really crawled on the ground (even brushed myself off); yes, I really thought that Fresca was the best thing I ever tasted... simply amazing.
Tonight I went to see a show called NaperVegas. It is a sketch show written and performed by three of the writers from Maybe This Isn't the Right Forum for This... (and other people performed in it as well). It was all about the Suburbs... and sketches and songs (full cast songs, by the way... which is something my group needs to start doing) all about Suburban life. It's a very tight show... and it's creative and fun; and the writers have really seemed to boil down their experience of growing up where they did. It's only further solidified in my mind that I'm going to need to make sure that I AM the white, straight, male, rural, Michigander in my Conservatory class... because I'm the only one in that class who knows what that's like.
#4 Post of 2004 - The Best and Worst of 2003! There's something very post-modern about me referencing my list on my list. And there's something very Stephan J. Gould about it, too. But, honestly, here is a post/idea that I liked SO much that I'm doing the same thing a year later. And not only am I doing the same thing, I added to it! It was such a good idea that I'll probably keep doing it as long as I kept posting on this blog. So this is more about the idea behind it rather than the list itself... although my ability to encapsulate the entire year into twenty items is remarkable... let's not forget that. That I am remarkable. And modest.
Before I get into anything else, I have to tell you how incredibly irritating I find the TILT commercials on ESPN. They just keep playing over and over and over... like I give two shits about a movie about poker players. A movie about poker players made by ESPN, no less. What the feces? And I just figured out that TILT is a series... so I'm going to get these crap commercials until they "Playmakers" it (read: cancel it).
Tonight was also week two of my Conservatory Class. Before we started, I was sitting there, shootin' the poop with Fernando, doing that "is that what the kids are saying now-a-days?" schtick that I seem to never get tired of. And, for some reason, I said that something was so cool it was "jumpin' off houses." I don't know why that both struck us as funny, but we just thought it would be hilarious if people on the street started saying "Yo' ride is jumpin' off houses, B!" We think we're funny.
For the second half of class, Gellman had us start off space-walking. This is simply walking through a free space; no astronauts needed (sorry Court!). And we're walking and we're walking... and Gellman tells us to imagine we're on a beach somewhere. What do we hear? What do we smell? What does the sand feel like? Is it rocky? etc. I imagined myself on Lake Michigan at the beach here in Chicago. It was cold, but not winter... and the sun was just beginning to set. And there was no one around. I couldn't even hear the cars... just the water softly breaking on the beach. He then moved us to our least favorite urban street... and I found myself on Clybourn near Cabrini Green. It was dark, but a clear night... not really a cloudy sky. There were rusted parked cars on the street and it smelled of sewage. It's not just sewage though--I call it "city smell". You know it when you smell it. There were only a few street lights on, and the sidewalk was littered with paper and broken glass. It felt cold... and not a good cold at the beach, a "dark" cold. I started rubbing my arms to keep warm. He then said that we were invisible and could explore the street as we saw fit. The cold subsided and my curiosity took hold. I went up to boarded up windows and looked inside... I saw dusty rooms and broken furniture. He then told us to go to our favorite street... and I found myself instantly back at Albion, walking down the sidewalk of Hannah Street, about to see if anything was up in the KC or down at the theatre, when Gellman said "You're favorite street with shops." I drew a blank. In retrospect, I should have picked Michigan Avenue in historic downtown Big Rapids because I know it the best... but I didn't. Instead, I picked a street in (I think) Frankenmuth that I've probably only been to once... but it just popped into my head. I found myself on the front lawn of a candy store that looks like a house from the outside. It has trees and a little walk-way out front that leads to the street. The street is on a hill, and up the hill was a fudge shop... and down the hill was a pancake house that didn't exist on that street, but, rather, in St. Ignace, Michigan. I don't know why I put it there, but it was there. As I was exploring this half-made-up street, Gellman told us that there was a shop there we've never seen before, down some stairs, with an old-looking, thick wooden door and a brass handle. He told us to go down the stairs and open the door. Inside, he said, was a store filled with all my favorite things from my childhood up until now--it's as if someone stocked this store just for you. So I looked around... and on one of the counters was a book filled with all of the Marvel Comics collector's cards... from when I used to collect them... and on the shelf below them was the Marvel action figures... and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures... and next to the action figures was a couple of stuffed gorillas... and above the stuffed gorillas was XBox game. I pulled out KOTOR II to look at, and then put it back. Next to the games was a huge Lego set. And I was about to take apart some of the Legos, but Gellman noticed a glowing green door in the corner of the shop. Go to it, he said. As I approached the door, he told me it was locked. Look for the key, he advised. I looked on a shelf next to the glowing door... I brushed off book after book... and there it was, under an old cowbell. I took the key and the green door opened. I was in a long hallway with no doors. Gellman said that the hallway was empty, expect for mirrors on the sides of the hallway. In the mirrors was me, of course. But not just my reflection... every side of me. There was ComputerHelpDesk!John, Corporate!John, Jealous!John, Stage!John, Friend!John, InLove!John... and as I walked through this hallway, I started to become over-whelmed by... myself. My eye started to tear up... I couldn't stand seeing all the sides of myself at once... it was too much! Then Gellman told me to notice that I had entered a forest, when I was preoccupied with the mirrors. I was so relieved! I was in the woods by Adam LeClaire's house in Big Rapids. It was dark, but I knew there was still daylight. The pine smell filled my lungs, and I swatted a spider-web out of my face as I stepped over a log. I tried to move quietly because I could hear deer rustling in the brush to my right. I then came across a small creek. Rather than hop over it, I walked through it... letting it get my pants a little wet. Just a little water, no harm done. But the creek became a raging river... there was no turning back. As I moved forward through the other side of the forest... I began to notice it's differences. The trees weren't pine anymore... they were more like maple trees. They felt plastic, but looked real... and there was a sparkle in the air. I began to realize the forest's magic. It was enchanted. There was a small orange mushroom on the ground... I picked it up and smelled it. Even licked it... it didn't taste good. I don't like mushrooms. So I walked deeper into the forest... and it became clear to me that the forest was closing in behind me. For every step I took... the forest would close behind me... the trees covering the path. Up ahead was a tunnel. I entered it. It was just a big, earthy, round hole... but there was a torch near the entrance. I took it and made my way into the tunnel. It was dark, but clean... in that there weren't many rocks in my way. It was just a round hole... as if something had burrowed through it. I noticed that I was moving up through the hole... the hole was going up to something. I kept the torch in front of me... and kept climbing up the tunnel. It soon became clear that the hole was man-made, and the sides of the hole became rock and then stone: a smooth stone, as if someone had taken great care in the tunnel's construction. There was a light at the end of this tunnel. I made my way to it. At the end of the tunnel there was an arch-way that opened to the largest castle hall I had ever seen. The ceiling was so high, I could barely see it. And there were tapestries on the wall... simple, but elegant. Most were one color... green or red... with a different design in each center. At the middle of this great dining hall was a round table. As I made my way to it, I realized it was filled with my favorite foods and my favorite drinks. I put my torch down inside the candelabra, and I popped open a can of Fresca... after all that exploring, it was the greatest tasting drink I had ever had. I then dug into a big plate of fettucini alfredo... but then I heard a loud thud from outside. "No," I thought "Not until I have some of this cake!" But then the thud hit the castle wall... and I knew I wasn't safe. On the other side of the hall was another tunnel. I grabbed my torch and made it to the other tunnel. This tunnel went down... and it was rockier and dirtier than the first tunnel. There were even places when I had to squeeze myself through, just barely getting the torch and myself through. And there were also crystals... brilliant crystals that glistened under the torch light. I touched one and then licked my hand... it tasted salty. I then came to a dead-end. But there was a crawl-space below where I could crawl through. I hit the ground, pushing the torch ahead of me, and crawled through. On the other side of the dead-end was an underground river and a path. I followed the path for a while and noticed an odd silver metallic piece in the ground. I didn't know what it was for, it was like nothing I had ever seen... just a large lump of silver, but with sharper, smoother edges. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. I became aware that I was surrounded by ancient stalagmites and stalactites. I touched my hand to one of them and licked it... it tasted salty too, but a little like iron. The air then started to smell like sulfer and I put my arm up to my mouth to keep from coughing. It didn't help much, and I still coughed as I walked. I kept following the river until, up ahead, I could see a shiny golden cube. I walked up to it. It was unlike anything I had ever seen in my life. It was certainly man-made, as it was a perfect cube... and it looked welded and riveted in places, but it was such a brilliant gold color that I knew it couldn't be any metal I have ever encountered. I walked around the entire cube. On the backside of the cube was an opening... just a sliver of an opening. I knew I couldn't fit my hand in if I was still holding the torch, so I dropped it and slid inside. In the cube was a disc. I stood on it. As if responding to my weight, the cube started moving UP. Even though I was moving through solid earth, the cube did so with ease. Then I started moving sideways, and I was able to see all the dead civilizations buried deep beneath the surface, and I realized that I must have been the only person to ever see all of history so clearly like this. Then the cube moved up again and I reached the surface! When I got out of the cube, something was very different. I was in a very arid place. I looked up and there were two suns, one red and one a bright white. I looked down at my two shadows. While looking down, I noticed that the sand I thought I was standing on wasn't really sand. I bent down and picked some up. It behaved like sand... had granules like sand... but felt more solid under my feet. Even spongy. Off in the distance were mountains. Behind me... was what appeared to be an oasis. It looked like a small pool of water with palm trees surrounding it. I started walking towards it. It got further away. The faster I walked, the faster it left me... and I started running... and it got further away! So I stopped; and the oasis came to me. What had looked like water from a distance was actually a weird gelatin like substance. It was congealed like gelatin, but behaved in my hands like water. I tasted some... it tasted awful, nothing like water. It was like licking a smelly foot. I tried to see if the plants might have had some food. I picked a coconut looking fruit from off the tree. I tried to open it with my hands to no avail. I stepped on it as hard as I could and just ended up hurting my foot. But then, across the "water" I noticed what looked like a rose garden. I walked to it. I walked into it... and found myself on a polar ice cap, surrounded by snow, and standing on ice. The oasis was gone... and I tried to make my way across the ice to seek shelter. In the distance I saw what looked like an elevator door... just the door. I skated (not very gracefully) to it. It had a button with an arrow pointing down. I hit the button and the doors opened. I hopped inside and immediately started to warm up my ears with my hands, and then my hands by blowing in them. Inside the elevator was another button that said "Down". I pressed it, and the elevator moved downwards. When the elevator doors opened, I found myself in a statue garden. But not a normal statue garden, all the statues were made of pure light. And, as I approached the statues, I noticed that they were all depicting the greatest moments of my life. There was a statue of me introducing James Earl Jones in front of thousands of people; and there was a statue of me singing with the Euphonics; and there was a statue of me playing with Outer Core; and a statue of my first kiss; and a statue of falling in love in the snow under a Christmas tree; and as I walked through the garden, my eyes started to tear up again. But not from feeling overwhelmed like before, rather from the pure nostalgia of it all. I came upon a gate... it was locked with no handle. I didn't know what to do. Try using that piece of metal you put in your pocket, Gellman advised. I did and it worked. On the other side of the gate was a door which opened back into the store filled with my favorite things. Gellman gave us a choice: Take the green door back where you were, or take the door back to the street. Which do you think I chose?
At what point in that narrative did you forget that I was in a classroom with fifteen other people? I hope that happened to you, because I wrote this that way on purpose. Even though I was in a classroom with fifteen other people, and even though Gellman talked us through the whole process... the people, and even his voice, all melted away once I really got into it. It was just me and my adventure into the unknown. I honestly have no idea how long that exercise took. It may have been over an hour, in all honesty... we had that much time left in class. And here I am, a grown man with a degree in Philosophy, no less, having his mind completely blown away by the pure simplicity and sheer dominance of the human imagination. Yes, my eyes really teared up at the emotional flood of seeing myself and my past; yes, I really coughed because of the "sulfer smell"; yes, I really crawled on the ground (even brushed myself off); yes, I really thought that Fresca was the best thing I ever tasted... simply amazing.
Tonight I went to see a show called NaperVegas. It is a sketch show written and performed by three of the writers from Maybe This Isn't the Right Forum for This... (and other people performed in it as well). It was all about the Suburbs... and sketches and songs (full cast songs, by the way... which is something my group needs to start doing) all about Suburban life. It's a very tight show... and it's creative and fun; and the writers have really seemed to boil down their experience of growing up where they did. It's only further solidified in my mind that I'm going to need to make sure that I AM the white, straight, male, rural, Michigander in my Conservatory class... because I'm the only one in that class who knows what that's like.
#4 Post of 2004 - The Best and Worst of 2003! There's something very post-modern about me referencing my list on my list. And there's something very Stephan J. Gould about it, too. But, honestly, here is a post/idea that I liked SO much that I'm doing the same thing a year later. And not only am I doing the same thing, I added to it! It was such a good idea that I'll probably keep doing it as long as I kept posting on this blog. So this is more about the idea behind it rather than the list itself... although my ability to encapsulate the entire year into twenty items is remarkable... let's not forget that. That I am remarkable. And modest.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Go Cubs!
Here's a really weird dream I had this morning: Okay, so this weird dream starts off with my mom and dad taking me and someone else to a Cubs/Cards baseball game in St. Louis. Weird part number 1 is that the other person was, I think, Matt from my Conservatory class. He's from St. Louis, but he was rooting for the Cubs. Doesn't make sense. Then, for some reason, the stadium in St. Louis (which should have been Busch Stadium) had a dome. But that didn't matter because it started raining and the roof leaked on a lot of the people in front of us. And most people were in front of us because we were so far back in the stadium (back and up), that I couldn't see most of the field. Anyway, the Cubs won, but my parents didn't drive me back to Chicago. They just left. And Matt didn't need to go back to Chicago, either... so I was the only one going back to Chicago. And I started walking. I was going to walk to the Metra, which does NOT go as far as St. Louis, oddly enough. But the Metra was going to take me back to Chicago. Shows what I know. Anyway, as I was walking to the Metra, I came up to a row of houses, and I entered the back yard of one of the houses, and proceeded to cut through the house to the other side of the street. Even as I ran into the home-owners, I was very non-chalant about it. As I reached their front door, there was a group of three or four guys at the front door. They were all there to call on the daughter-of-the-house. So, for some reason, instead of leaving, I stuck around to watch a bit. But it was just boring and uncomfortable, so I headed to the front door again. And, at the door waiting to come in was a very hobo-looking Fisher Stevens, who had found a dog (who had also seen better days) and was wondering if it was the dog-of-the-house. Before I could do anything... I was awoken by the screaming kids down the hall, at 7:45 AM. That's just ridiculous! I understand (a bit) that kids are going to be loud because they're kids... but that early in the morning, you have to keep your kids quiet. And I still haven't said anything to them because they don't speak English... and I don't know if they speak English at all. So, one day, I'll learn whatever language they're speaking so that I can yell at them. Good. I'm glad you're all with me on that one.
This morning, Laura called and we had a nice conversation. It was nice to talk to her, if only briefly... and to hear that she's doing well, even though she's getting sick like a big loser. No, honey, you're not a loser. I hope you feel better. :)
Earlier today, Daniel's left a comment on my blog regarding Mockupations. I followed the link he left to his own blog and here is a comment he left about the show: "Then we caught "Mocupations", a skit show put on at the top (read: amateur) floor of Second City. Not only was this show not funny, it may have well been the least funny thing I've ever seen in my life. You know those really bad SNL skits that make you wonder how they ever see the light of day? Imagine that mutlipied by 100, and it still doesn't compare to how bad this show was." Harsh, yes? But, don't sweat it dude. Honestly is always appreciated, and at most times applauded, on this blog. Check his comments here. And, db0x, if you're still reading this, next time you come to Chicago, try Lou Malnati's. The tastiest pizza in town, but don't expect quick service. Ehh! City life.
The rest of the day, horrifically, was just spent playing KOTOR II. Yes... the whole rest of the day. I am the lamest man ever.
#5 Best of 2004 - Euphonics Concert Yes. There is NOTHING quite like feeling like a super-star in a room full of people who don't even know who you are. Plus! getting the reception that I got for just half a song was unreal. Yeah there was more songs, but whatever! I didn't sing them, so I don't care! Ha! It was such a rush to be on stage with that group again. They're amazing singers... and the group has only gotten more musically talented since I left. It was incredible to be on stage singing again, and I only wish it could have been longer. That's, honestly, why this isn't higher on my list. I would have liked to have been on stage for the entire song (that wasn't my call... weird, huh?). Oh well... maybe I'll eventually get to do an entire song with them. When I learn how to sing. Right.
Here's a really weird dream I had this morning: Okay, so this weird dream starts off with my mom and dad taking me and someone else to a Cubs/Cards baseball game in St. Louis. Weird part number 1 is that the other person was, I think, Matt from my Conservatory class. He's from St. Louis, but he was rooting for the Cubs. Doesn't make sense. Then, for some reason, the stadium in St. Louis (which should have been Busch Stadium) had a dome. But that didn't matter because it started raining and the roof leaked on a lot of the people in front of us. And most people were in front of us because we were so far back in the stadium (back and up), that I couldn't see most of the field. Anyway, the Cubs won, but my parents didn't drive me back to Chicago. They just left. And Matt didn't need to go back to Chicago, either... so I was the only one going back to Chicago. And I started walking. I was going to walk to the Metra, which does NOT go as far as St. Louis, oddly enough. But the Metra was going to take me back to Chicago. Shows what I know. Anyway, as I was walking to the Metra, I came up to a row of houses, and I entered the back yard of one of the houses, and proceeded to cut through the house to the other side of the street. Even as I ran into the home-owners, I was very non-chalant about it. As I reached their front door, there was a group of three or four guys at the front door. They were all there to call on the daughter-of-the-house. So, for some reason, instead of leaving, I stuck around to watch a bit. But it was just boring and uncomfortable, so I headed to the front door again. And, at the door waiting to come in was a very hobo-looking Fisher Stevens, who had found a dog (who had also seen better days) and was wondering if it was the dog-of-the-house. Before I could do anything... I was awoken by the screaming kids down the hall, at 7:45 AM. That's just ridiculous! I understand (a bit) that kids are going to be loud because they're kids... but that early in the morning, you have to keep your kids quiet. And I still haven't said anything to them because they don't speak English... and I don't know if they speak English at all. So, one day, I'll learn whatever language they're speaking so that I can yell at them. Good. I'm glad you're all with me on that one.
This morning, Laura called and we had a nice conversation. It was nice to talk to her, if only briefly... and to hear that she's doing well, even though she's getting sick like a big loser. No, honey, you're not a loser. I hope you feel better. :)
Earlier today, Daniel's left a comment on my blog regarding Mockupations. I followed the link he left to his own blog and here is a comment he left about the show: "Then we caught "Mocupations", a skit show put on at the top (read: amateur) floor of Second City. Not only was this show not funny, it may have well been the least funny thing I've ever seen in my life. You know those really bad SNL skits that make you wonder how they ever see the light of day? Imagine that mutlipied by 100, and it still doesn't compare to how bad this show was." Harsh, yes? But, don't sweat it dude. Honestly is always appreciated, and at most times applauded, on this blog. Check his comments here. And, db0x, if you're still reading this, next time you come to Chicago, try Lou Malnati's. The tastiest pizza in town, but don't expect quick service. Ehh! City life.
The rest of the day, horrifically, was just spent playing KOTOR II. Yes... the whole rest of the day. I am the lamest man ever.
#5 Best of 2004 - Euphonics Concert Yes. There is NOTHING quite like feeling like a super-star in a room full of people who don't even know who you are. Plus! getting the reception that I got for just half a song was unreal. Yeah there was more songs, but whatever! I didn't sing them, so I don't care! Ha! It was such a rush to be on stage with that group again. They're amazing singers... and the group has only gotten more musically talented since I left. It was incredible to be on stage singing again, and I only wish it could have been longer. That's, honestly, why this isn't higher on my list. I would have liked to have been on stage for the entire song (that wasn't my call... weird, huh?). Oh well... maybe I'll eventually get to do an entire song with them. When I learn how to sing. Right.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Even without a job, some days I just need to take off
First thing's first... I have seen a lot of bad, local TV commercials here in Chicago. It's almost as if they try LESS hard than local Big Rapids/Mecosta County commercials... which is a scary thought. But the Chicago Music Exchange commercials are the exception. They are funny... and I don't mind whenever they come on. The tag-line is "For the guitar obsessed", kay? Alright, so there's one where a guy is playing a wicked electric guitar solo and then smashes the guitar. He then turns to a guy who works there and says "I'll take it." There's another one where a guy is playing the WORST guitar part I've ever heard (even worse than Ken's House... and that was shit on a stick). But he's got a song to match... it's sung horribly off-key and he sings something like "My love is like a salad, with an extra cruton... I'll take you back to my place, and we'll sleep on my futon". He puts the guitar down, and the guy who works there comes in with a huge, thick glove and grabs the guitar, takes it out back, and dumps it into a chipper. But the reason I brought this up is that they have a new one. A guy plays a pretty sweet guitar solo, puts the guitar down, and leaves out the front glass door. Then the workers start clapping... and cheering... and more clapping... and they start yelling "encore"... and then we see the guy come back up to the glass door, enter, and pick the guitar back up. Even though I could tell what was coming... it was still funny, because we can see that the costumer is hesitant to come back in through the glass door... and then he gives a little wave, and sits back down with the guitar.
Okay, so as you may have guessed, I did a lot of TV watching today. I call it "staying in" when I just don't feel like dealing with other people or the cold. There are days when I feel like this... where I just don't want anything to do with the "outside world". On these days, I can't help but feel a constant guilt... like I shouldn't be isolating myself; that I should be out "doing" something; that I should be spending time with people, etc. So, today, I told myself to just forget the guilt and go ahead and take a day to myself. I think the weekends of performances and the other days of rehearsals and class have worn me out a lot more than I let myself believe. So, today, I said "screw it"... let myself sleep in, and sat down to start playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (yes, that's how long the title actually is).
I loved the first KOTOR game, and KOTOR II (The Sith Lords) seems like it was made specifically for fans of the first game. They are constantly referencing the first game. But, a change from the last game, it seems as though I get to decide my character's back-story. My character (who I named Biggs Steeno this time [I'm so clever!]) fought in the Mandalorian wars which were waged by Jedi who defied the Jedi Council to stop the Mandalorians, a race of aggressive "war mongers" who were taking over the Outer Rim planets. How much of a virgin did that make me sound? Anyway, the Mandalorian wars lead to the Jedi Civil War which is where the first game starts. In the second game, the Jedi Civil War has ended... and most of the Jedi are dead, in hiding, or have become Sith. This is what I hope the third Star Wars movie will include... but my guess is they won't even get to it because they wasted so much fucking time in the first movie with "young Anakin" that we'll never get to the good stuff (I wouldn't put it past Lucus to write Star Wars 3.5, by the way). Regardless, in this game, your character is a Jedi exile who has lost his or her connection with the force... so you don't have any of your cool abilities yet. But the Sith believe you to be the last living Jedi, so they try to kill you and the adventure begins. I don't care how lame this game sounds... I love the crap out of it, and will literally lose entire days of time to playing it. I knew that before I even started that I would lose entire days to this game... I think I spent somewhere around 60 (sixty!) hours on the first one, and I still never took the time to beat the final boss dude. I just played up until that point, got my ass kicked about five times, and stopped. I guess I'm not persistent? Or maybe I'm not virtual persistent? I don't know. But one of the reasons my character couldn't beat the last dude was that my character (Wedge Steeno) was built to take out groups of enemies with two other characters aiding him. And, with two other characters, my guy just runs up to one of them and starts hacking away at them with his two light-sabers... he was AWESOME. It's just this one on one shit that Wedge is not about. So I'm making sure to build this character, Biggs, with the idea that a one on one battle is probably coming at the end, and my dude needs to be self-sufficient enough to handle it.
Another good reason to take a "day off" everything is that I finally figured something out today. What I figured out has to do with me getting a job... and why it's so hard for me to be motivated to go out and get another one. It's because my last job ended like a bad break-up, but worse. I guess I never really let myself realize how traumatized I was by what happened until today: one of the reasons I'm not looking for a job is that I'm worried, in the back of my head, that it's going to end as badly as the last job did. It's just like what happens after a bad break-up! I'm worried that I'm going to put my time and energy into something new and it's just going to end up being messy and painful. I don't want to put myself through that again, so I am hesitant to even look. The good news here is this: now that I've figured out my problem, I've already asked two people here to be my references for jobs; I've started updating my resume; and I've picked out the jobs in the Reader that sound like they'll best suit me. I just hope that with my resume being as quasi-impressive as it is, the people hiring for these crappy, part-time office assistant jobs won't think that I'm "over qualified" for anything. I hate the idea that someone can be "over qualified" for a job. Shouldn't it be my choice as to whether I want to "lower" myself to whatever work it is? *sigh* I just want a job I can do for a few hours and then leave. Is that too much to ask?
#5 Worst of 2004 - My Bosses Vacation This is exactly what I don't want now. The week that *insert name of former boss* went on vacation for a week in late February and early March was a terrible week for me. Making all the decisions; having us run out of so much of the inventory; having unreliable workers... I guess it was simply a sign of things to come. The Sunday of her vacation was one of the worst days of my "professional" life... finding me on my knees praying for divine intervention by the end of the day. While I learned a few things about customers that day... I should have learned not to care so damn much about a stupid ice cream job. I learned that eventually... but not before having one of the worst weeks ever.
First thing's first... I have seen a lot of bad, local TV commercials here in Chicago. It's almost as if they try LESS hard than local Big Rapids/Mecosta County commercials... which is a scary thought. But the Chicago Music Exchange commercials are the exception. They are funny... and I don't mind whenever they come on. The tag-line is "For the guitar obsessed", kay? Alright, so there's one where a guy is playing a wicked electric guitar solo and then smashes the guitar. He then turns to a guy who works there and says "I'll take it." There's another one where a guy is playing the WORST guitar part I've ever heard (even worse than Ken's House... and that was shit on a stick). But he's got a song to match... it's sung horribly off-key and he sings something like "My love is like a salad, with an extra cruton... I'll take you back to my place, and we'll sleep on my futon". He puts the guitar down, and the guy who works there comes in with a huge, thick glove and grabs the guitar, takes it out back, and dumps it into a chipper. But the reason I brought this up is that they have a new one. A guy plays a pretty sweet guitar solo, puts the guitar down, and leaves out the front glass door. Then the workers start clapping... and cheering... and more clapping... and they start yelling "encore"... and then we see the guy come back up to the glass door, enter, and pick the guitar back up. Even though I could tell what was coming... it was still funny, because we can see that the costumer is hesitant to come back in through the glass door... and then he gives a little wave, and sits back down with the guitar.
Okay, so as you may have guessed, I did a lot of TV watching today. I call it "staying in" when I just don't feel like dealing with other people or the cold. There are days when I feel like this... where I just don't want anything to do with the "outside world". On these days, I can't help but feel a constant guilt... like I shouldn't be isolating myself; that I should be out "doing" something; that I should be spending time with people, etc. So, today, I told myself to just forget the guilt and go ahead and take a day to myself. I think the weekends of performances and the other days of rehearsals and class have worn me out a lot more than I let myself believe. So, today, I said "screw it"... let myself sleep in, and sat down to start playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (yes, that's how long the title actually is).
I loved the first KOTOR game, and KOTOR II (The Sith Lords) seems like it was made specifically for fans of the first game. They are constantly referencing the first game. But, a change from the last game, it seems as though I get to decide my character's back-story. My character (who I named Biggs Steeno this time [I'm so clever!]) fought in the Mandalorian wars which were waged by Jedi who defied the Jedi Council to stop the Mandalorians, a race of aggressive "war mongers" who were taking over the Outer Rim planets. How much of a virgin did that make me sound? Anyway, the Mandalorian wars lead to the Jedi Civil War which is where the first game starts. In the second game, the Jedi Civil War has ended... and most of the Jedi are dead, in hiding, or have become Sith. This is what I hope the third Star Wars movie will include... but my guess is they won't even get to it because they wasted so much fucking time in the first movie with "young Anakin" that we'll never get to the good stuff (I wouldn't put it past Lucus to write Star Wars 3.5, by the way). Regardless, in this game, your character is a Jedi exile who has lost his or her connection with the force... so you don't have any of your cool abilities yet. But the Sith believe you to be the last living Jedi, so they try to kill you and the adventure begins. I don't care how lame this game sounds... I love the crap out of it, and will literally lose entire days of time to playing it. I knew that before I even started that I would lose entire days to this game... I think I spent somewhere around 60 (sixty!) hours on the first one, and I still never took the time to beat the final boss dude. I just played up until that point, got my ass kicked about five times, and stopped. I guess I'm not persistent? Or maybe I'm not virtual persistent? I don't know. But one of the reasons my character couldn't beat the last dude was that my character (Wedge Steeno) was built to take out groups of enemies with two other characters aiding him. And, with two other characters, my guy just runs up to one of them and starts hacking away at them with his two light-sabers... he was AWESOME. It's just this one on one shit that Wedge is not about. So I'm making sure to build this character, Biggs, with the idea that a one on one battle is probably coming at the end, and my dude needs to be self-sufficient enough to handle it.
Another good reason to take a "day off" everything is that I finally figured something out today. What I figured out has to do with me getting a job... and why it's so hard for me to be motivated to go out and get another one. It's because my last job ended like a bad break-up, but worse. I guess I never really let myself realize how traumatized I was by what happened until today: one of the reasons I'm not looking for a job is that I'm worried, in the back of my head, that it's going to end as badly as the last job did. It's just like what happens after a bad break-up! I'm worried that I'm going to put my time and energy into something new and it's just going to end up being messy and painful. I don't want to put myself through that again, so I am hesitant to even look. The good news here is this: now that I've figured out my problem, I've already asked two people here to be my references for jobs; I've started updating my resume; and I've picked out the jobs in the Reader that sound like they'll best suit me. I just hope that with my resume being as quasi-impressive as it is, the people hiring for these crappy, part-time office assistant jobs won't think that I'm "over qualified" for anything. I hate the idea that someone can be "over qualified" for a job. Shouldn't it be my choice as to whether I want to "lower" myself to whatever work it is? *sigh* I just want a job I can do for a few hours and then leave. Is that too much to ask?
#5 Worst of 2004 - My Bosses Vacation This is exactly what I don't want now. The week that *insert name of former boss* went on vacation for a week in late February and early March was a terrible week for me. Making all the decisions; having us run out of so much of the inventory; having unreliable workers... I guess it was simply a sign of things to come. The Sunday of her vacation was one of the worst days of my "professional" life... finding me on my knees praying for divine intervention by the end of the day. While I learned a few things about customers that day... I should have learned not to care so damn much about a stupid ice cream job. I learned that eventually... but not before having one of the worst weeks ever.
Monday, January 17, 2005
The Half-Blood Prince
Tonight was Writing Five rehearsal week 3. I was surprised to see a couple of the people off-book already. If by "surprised" I meant "made to feel guilty" then I was right. It's weird, while I understand wanting to get off-book as soon as possible, I think it's a stupid idea to get off-book this early. Reason 1) As we're trying to learn blocking, you're going to try to be off book? I think that's a little too much for one person's mind to take. Besides, there were a couple times, in one scene, when I didn't get my cue to fall because Jen was trying to be off-book already. Reason 2) The writers aren't done with re-writes. I'm not averse to adding or taking out a line or two... but we're talking, in some cases, about whole half-pages changing--dialog added or subtracted or changed--and it's just not worth it to me to invest that much mental energy to memorize when I might have to re-learn it in another week or two. I think, after this next rehearsal when all (or most) of the scenes are blocked is when I'll start memorizing. But I hate trying to memorize before I can see the blocking in my head. I just can't do it. Additionally, this week begins a few weeks of long periods of sitting and waiting while other scenes are being blocked. So there were a few times during the rehearsal where I sat and watched for a while. Add to all this my realization that I've skipped the "trying to be nice so Kim will like me" phase, and gone straight into the "I'm going to be playfully mean to you because I know we won't ever date" phase. There were a few times tonight when I found myself thinking "what am I SAYING? That's not very nice! Lay off, ass!" In addition to the addition, Jen, one of the actors in the show, is psychotic. She paces back and forth before rehearsal and then stretches... she doesn't talk to anyone, but rather, spends her time saying her lines out loud in a mumbling fashion like a real psychopath. This, in my opinion, wouldn't be so bad if she was a good, solid method actress. But she's not. She's one of those "look at me I'm ACTING!" actresses. I've had this conversation multiple times, and I know it's a "style" of dramatic acting but it's an easy style and something I'm not all that interested in seeing on stage... um... ever. So it'll be really interesting to see how (or if) I work well with her on stage. My guess is that it's going to be a challenge. And it'll also be a challenge for me to act as though I'm receiving fellatio on stage. Um... yeah. Challenging and embarrassing. Right.
While on Amazon.com today, I found something interesting: Book 6! The Half-Blood Prince is scheduled to be released in mid-July of this year... which seems quick to me, since book 5 took Rowling like eight years to write. And I don't care if this sounds lame or not, but I can't wait for book 6 to come out. I will, most probably, have to reread book 5 again before six come out. And, hell, we might even see book 4, The Goblet of Fire, on the silver screen before the next book comes out. I love Harry Potter books and I don't care who knows it!
#5 Post of 2004 - Laura's Villanelle Speaking of Laura (what? Oh, Harry Potter... I get it now), the fifth best post of 2004 is without-a-doubt the villanelle I blogged on July 4th. Yes, I know that I didn't initially write it just for this blog, but I definitely finished it just for this blog. And the villanelle form is a difficult one, even if it didn't look like it was all that hard to do. Or even if it didn't look good. Or even if it was a shitty poem. Regardless of all this, it was hard, but I did it, and I like it. *wipes brow* Celebrate small victories!
Tonight was Writing Five rehearsal week 3. I was surprised to see a couple of the people off-book already. If by "surprised" I meant "made to feel guilty" then I was right. It's weird, while I understand wanting to get off-book as soon as possible, I think it's a stupid idea to get off-book this early. Reason 1) As we're trying to learn blocking, you're going to try to be off book? I think that's a little too much for one person's mind to take. Besides, there were a couple times, in one scene, when I didn't get my cue to fall because Jen was trying to be off-book already. Reason 2) The writers aren't done with re-writes. I'm not averse to adding or taking out a line or two... but we're talking, in some cases, about whole half-pages changing--dialog added or subtracted or changed--and it's just not worth it to me to invest that much mental energy to memorize when I might have to re-learn it in another week or two. I think, after this next rehearsal when all (or most) of the scenes are blocked is when I'll start memorizing. But I hate trying to memorize before I can see the blocking in my head. I just can't do it. Additionally, this week begins a few weeks of long periods of sitting and waiting while other scenes are being blocked. So there were a few times during the rehearsal where I sat and watched for a while. Add to all this my realization that I've skipped the "trying to be nice so Kim will like me" phase, and gone straight into the "I'm going to be playfully mean to you because I know we won't ever date" phase. There were a few times tonight when I found myself thinking "what am I SAYING? That's not very nice! Lay off, ass!" In addition to the addition, Jen, one of the actors in the show, is psychotic. She paces back and forth before rehearsal and then stretches... she doesn't talk to anyone, but rather, spends her time saying her lines out loud in a mumbling fashion like a real psychopath. This, in my opinion, wouldn't be so bad if she was a good, solid method actress. But she's not. She's one of those "look at me I'm ACTING!" actresses. I've had this conversation multiple times, and I know it's a "style" of dramatic acting but it's an easy style and something I'm not all that interested in seeing on stage... um... ever. So it'll be really interesting to see how (or if) I work well with her on stage. My guess is that it's going to be a challenge. And it'll also be a challenge for me to act as though I'm receiving fellatio on stage. Um... yeah. Challenging and embarrassing. Right.
While on Amazon.com today, I found something interesting: Book 6! The Half-Blood Prince is scheduled to be released in mid-July of this year... which seems quick to me, since book 5 took Rowling like eight years to write. And I don't care if this sounds lame or not, but I can't wait for book 6 to come out. I will, most probably, have to reread book 5 again before six come out. And, hell, we might even see book 4, The Goblet of Fire, on the silver screen before the next book comes out. I love Harry Potter books and I don't care who knows it!
#5 Post of 2004 - Laura's Villanelle Speaking of Laura (what? Oh, Harry Potter... I get it now), the fifth best post of 2004 is without-a-doubt the villanelle I blogged on July 4th. Yes, I know that I didn't initially write it just for this blog, but I definitely finished it just for this blog. And the villanelle form is a difficult one, even if it didn't look like it was all that hard to do. Or even if it didn't look good. Or even if it was a shitty poem. Regardless of all this, it was hard, but I did it, and I like it. *wipes brow* Celebrate small victories!
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Surprise Visits!
This afternoon, I watched the Eagles/ViQueens whilst catching up on the ol' blog. First of all, Freddie Mitchell made me say "holy shit" out loud twice in the game. Secondly, I will say this now: The Falcons can beat the Eagles. I think the Falcons are a better team than the Owens-less Eagles. And, if the Falcons can 1) Protect Michael Vick and 2) Score first and keep the lead through the first half, the Falcons WILL win. Those two things I mentioned are HUGE though. Either one of those is a reason the Eagles can win. If the Falcons get behind, and Vick has to try to catch up by passing, the Eagles will win. But if the Falcons run the ball, and can keep Vick from getting KILLED by the Eagles aggressive, blitzing defense... the Falcons should waltz into the Super Bowl.
As I was watching the Colts/Patriots, it became pretty obvious to me that the Patriots were clearly the better team. You simply can not run the ball against this defense. Either side OR straight up the middle, it doesn't matter. Even a great running game like the Colts' with James was so completely unable to run the ball on the Patriots. It's also clear to me that I HATE the Patriots, and ESPECIALLY Tom Brady. I feel pretty bad for Peyton Manning, too (whom I like). Favre and my Packers know exactly how you feel. During the mid-90s, the Packers had to go to Dallas to play the Cowboys what seemed like every year. And every year we got smacked around by the Cowboys. And I hated the Cowboys SO much. Under Mike Holmgren, the Packers went to Dallas and lost in 1993, 1994 twice, 1995 twice, and 1996 TWICE before playing them in Green Bay and winning in 1997 (in a game my father and I attended! W00t!). That's 0-7 Favre vs Cowboys... so don't worry, Peyton. You'll do it eventually. When you play the Patriots in Indy.
Tonight was week three of Basically Awesome! The interesting news that we got as my crew got to the Skybox to rehearse was that we were effectively sold-out. We had been sold-out, in that they were taking no more pre-sales... but they were going to be taking some walk-up ticket sales. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, the show went pretty well, but we were second again this week. And, after watching the tight, funny, and experienced Poppyseed Lane crew, our show is less than spectacular by comparison. But, I'm learning that we can have a better show on stage, and the audience can react to it less enthusiastically. A run of shows is an interesting thing... to be sure. So much to learn. Anyway, after the show I took my sweet time getting out to greet people because I had no one to greet. Boy can I be wrong sometimes. Waiting outside was Mr. James P. Shilander! With a surprise visit! He came up to see the show, and then spend some time with his brother. He's delayed on his move to DC, and--in the meantime--is sending out resumes and seeing my show! Hooray! We talked for a bit, but then had to go our separate ways. He to his brother's, me to a bar (of course!).
#6 Best of 2004 - Visits and Surprise Visits to Chicago!!! How apropos! The sixth best thing about 2004 was all the visits and especially the surprise visits by my friends to Chicago. Sarah, Amber, and Randi came to see one of my shows; Nick showed up out of the blue; Nate came at the beginning of the year; Ken was here in 2004; Jason came up to hang out a bit; Jim was here to pick me up at, seemingly, just the right times; and then my parents came to see my shows and take me places and buy me things. Moving to a new place is... well... scary. It's hard, too... to not know anyone. It's even harder if you aren't in school (I'm taking a university with thousands of people, not my classes of 12 or less) or have a job, so that meeting new people is difficult and tedious. This makes it even MORE important for friends and family to show support by showing up... asking how things are going... and buying me food (heehee). But, seriously, moving to a place where you don't know anyone, don't have a job yet, and aren't forced to live with other people (like college)... is very difficult. So having people visit me while I was trying to transition from old life to new was very important to me. It really helped... probably more than I could express here on this ol' blog. Thank you, everyone.
This afternoon, I watched the Eagles/ViQueens whilst catching up on the ol' blog. First of all, Freddie Mitchell made me say "holy shit" out loud twice in the game. Secondly, I will say this now: The Falcons can beat the Eagles. I think the Falcons are a better team than the Owens-less Eagles. And, if the Falcons can 1) Protect Michael Vick and 2) Score first and keep the lead through the first half, the Falcons WILL win. Those two things I mentioned are HUGE though. Either one of those is a reason the Eagles can win. If the Falcons get behind, and Vick has to try to catch up by passing, the Eagles will win. But if the Falcons run the ball, and can keep Vick from getting KILLED by the Eagles aggressive, blitzing defense... the Falcons should waltz into the Super Bowl.
As I was watching the Colts/Patriots, it became pretty obvious to me that the Patriots were clearly the better team. You simply can not run the ball against this defense. Either side OR straight up the middle, it doesn't matter. Even a great running game like the Colts' with James was so completely unable to run the ball on the Patriots. It's also clear to me that I HATE the Patriots, and ESPECIALLY Tom Brady. I feel pretty bad for Peyton Manning, too (whom I like). Favre and my Packers know exactly how you feel. During the mid-90s, the Packers had to go to Dallas to play the Cowboys what seemed like every year. And every year we got smacked around by the Cowboys. And I hated the Cowboys SO much. Under Mike Holmgren, the Packers went to Dallas and lost in 1993, 1994 twice, 1995 twice, and 1996 TWICE before playing them in Green Bay and winning in 1997 (in a game my father and I attended! W00t!). That's 0-7 Favre vs Cowboys... so don't worry, Peyton. You'll do it eventually. When you play the Patriots in Indy.
Tonight was week three of Basically Awesome! The interesting news that we got as my crew got to the Skybox to rehearse was that we were effectively sold-out. We had been sold-out, in that they were taking no more pre-sales... but they were going to be taking some walk-up ticket sales. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, the show went pretty well, but we were second again this week. And, after watching the tight, funny, and experienced Poppyseed Lane crew, our show is less than spectacular by comparison. But, I'm learning that we can have a better show on stage, and the audience can react to it less enthusiastically. A run of shows is an interesting thing... to be sure. So much to learn. Anyway, after the show I took my sweet time getting out to greet people because I had no one to greet. Boy can I be wrong sometimes. Waiting outside was Mr. James P. Shilander! With a surprise visit! He came up to see the show, and then spend some time with his brother. He's delayed on his move to DC, and--in the meantime--is sending out resumes and seeing my show! Hooray! We talked for a bit, but then had to go our separate ways. He to his brother's, me to a bar (of course!).
#6 Best of 2004 - Visits and Surprise Visits to Chicago!!! How apropos! The sixth best thing about 2004 was all the visits and especially the surprise visits by my friends to Chicago. Sarah, Amber, and Randi came to see one of my shows; Nick showed up out of the blue; Nate came at the beginning of the year; Ken was here in 2004; Jason came up to hang out a bit; Jim was here to pick me up at, seemingly, just the right times; and then my parents came to see my shows and take me places and buy me things. Moving to a new place is... well... scary. It's hard, too... to not know anyone. It's even harder if you aren't in school (I'm taking a university with thousands of people, not my classes of 12 or less) or have a job, so that meeting new people is difficult and tedious. This makes it even MORE important for friends and family to show support by showing up... asking how things are going... and buying me food (heehee). But, seriously, moving to a place where you don't know anyone, don't have a job yet, and aren't forced to live with other people (like college)... is very difficult. So having people visit me while I was trying to transition from old life to new was very important to me. It really helped... probably more than I could express here on this ol' blog. Thank you, everyone.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
The Jets taketh and the Jets giveth away
With very little time left in the fourth quarter, the Jets looked as if they were going to use special teams and defense to literally PRY the victory from the "more deserving/better" Steelers. But I have tasted the pain of the Jets fans. Mike, from Mankind and Mockupations, is a huge Jets fan so, even though I like the Steelers more, I wouldn't have hated a Jets win. I was basically rooting for both teams. Anyway, even though it looked like the Steelers were the better team, the Jets were going to win. And then, it what seems like typical Jets fashion, the Jets gave the game right back, missing two long, but make-able field goals. The Steelers then used a very good run game to pound the ball down the field and take the win. I LOVE strong run games. Passing teams are for sissies... give me a fifteen-play drive of four-yard runs any day. That's smash-mouth football... old school, baby! WOOO!
Hey! Did you see that Family Guy is back on FOX. If I was the creators of Family Guy, there's no way I'd go back to FOX after they cancelled me. I'd be too petty... because I'm a petty person. While I'm excited about seeing the Family Guy back on FOX... there is a part of me that says "FOX had their shot at this show and they cancelled it..." you know?I just hope they let the show do what the show can do. Because everyone behind that show (especially Seth MacFarlane) is brilliant.
Hey! Speaking of TV, have you seen the Elektra commercial that says "In Daredevil, she fought to the death". What it should say is: "In Daredevil, she died like a bitch" I mean, did you see that movie? I saw it because it was on HBO. First of all, being able to "see" what Daredevil hears is so stupid. That was someone's lame artistic decision... "hey! we should do something visual so that everyone can see what Daredevil sees!" While I understand that decision, it's not necessary. We all understand that he's blind... he doesn't need to "see" his environment. Whatever. Regardless, Elektra dies like a little bitch in that movie. It's not even a really good fight scene... she's just, like, standing around and "oops! I'm dead!" I hope Elektra is as critically bashed as Basically Awesome was.
I taped the Falcons/Rams game so that I could watch it later. And, after watching it... I have to say that I really like the Falcons chances this year. And it doesn't have a lot to do with Michael Vick, either (although he doesn't hurt). The year the Packers won the Super Bowl, these are the little things that I remember being important: being able to create a pass rush with the front four defensive lineman; being able to stop the run; winning the turnover differencial; being able to run the football and control the time of possession; having a great kick/punt return team. And all those things I saw from the Falcons in the Rams game. Unfortunately for the Falcons, it looks like Michael Vick would rather run the ball than throw it. On almost every play, if there's a pass rush he's looking to run. Even though Vick is BY FAR the greatest athlete in the league, he's not the best Quarterback. If the Falcons lose, it will be because they get behind in a game and are forced to have Vick throw to get back in the game. But those little things I mentioned can/will allow a team to beat any other team in the league. And the amount of yard they got in the run game was unbelievable! Remember Warrick Dunn? He's still good. BTW Thanks Green Bay for firing Ed Donatell. What a great move that was. *sarcasm*
Finally, tonight, I should mention that it was Mockupations' Opening Night. I originally put an exclamation point at the end of that sentence, but I have to be honest with you: I wasn't all that excited about the show. As we were warming up and stuff, I just felt tired. And, as we were about to go on... when I'm normally so nervous I want to throw up, tonight I felt absolutely nothing. Even the fact that we pre-sold 85 tickets... basically pre-selling out the show, couldn't get me excited to perform this show. It's so blue... and the humor is so base... it's hard for me to wrap my head around it being worth it to perform. Who's mind am I expanding during "fart closet"? What lessons are we teaching with bowling balls = testicle puns? I mean, why am I even doing this? The good news was that the show went pretty well. The bad news is that the audience wasn't as "into" it as they should have been, given that there were SO MANY people in the audience. I felt so numb about it. And, I've talked to Keith about it, there are two things I learned from this specific performance: 1) The audience needs blackouts. Even if the actors don't, the audience needs to know they can clap... and needs to feel like they can take a breath and relax for a second. Believe it or not, an audience is easily overwhelmed during a comedy show... they feel like they're laughing hard (if you do it right) and they need to take a break for a second to catch their breath. 2) If I feel like what I'm doing isn't important... if I feel like there's nothing intellectual in the show... it's hard for me to invest something emotionally in the show. That's it! I have nothing emotionally invested in this show... so I can't get nervous about it or, frankly, even care if it goes well, because this show isn't connected to any of my emotions. Whoops... sorry Joe and everyone who wrote for this show. Maybe, if I think about it, I can invest something in that I like the writers and want the show to go well because I want them to be happy. We'll see.
#6 Worst of 2004 - Whiny Bitchwork OR Opening Coldstone on North Avenue Ah... now we start getting into the Coldstone stuff, huh? Yep. And here we go... When I was put in charge of some of the more subtle, yet "important" things relating to the opening of North Avenue (like getting someone to put in the phone lines, and sitting around all day for inspectors), I hated it, but I at least understood why it was me and not anyone else who was supposed to be there to make those decisions. BUT, when it became clear that I was making all the decisions--helping with the training of all the new employees; having the architect and the area developers ask my opinion; making sure the store was well stocked with IC, mix-ins, and all the utensils, office supplies and equipment, and tools we needed--I got pretty pissed. That should NOT have been my responsibility. "Hey you, kid who has a shitty job title (Assistant)... make all the decisions to open a store!" Um... no! Give me a better job title, give me a raise, or someone else make all these damn decisions. I would have taken any of those three (yes, even the better title without the raise). But after a solid month of 14-16 hour days, most days of the week, with little to no help or even communication from my "superiors", I had seriously had it with the way that company was using me. My only regret in what happened after this is the WAY it all ended... but not THAT it ended. But I'll get to that more later, won't I?
With very little time left in the fourth quarter, the Jets looked as if they were going to use special teams and defense to literally PRY the victory from the "more deserving/better" Steelers. But I have tasted the pain of the Jets fans. Mike, from Mankind and Mockupations, is a huge Jets fan so, even though I like the Steelers more, I wouldn't have hated a Jets win. I was basically rooting for both teams. Anyway, even though it looked like the Steelers were the better team, the Jets were going to win. And then, it what seems like typical Jets fashion, the Jets gave the game right back, missing two long, but make-able field goals. The Steelers then used a very good run game to pound the ball down the field and take the win. I LOVE strong run games. Passing teams are for sissies... give me a fifteen-play drive of four-yard runs any day. That's smash-mouth football... old school, baby! WOOO!
Hey! Did you see that Family Guy is back on FOX. If I was the creators of Family Guy, there's no way I'd go back to FOX after they cancelled me. I'd be too petty... because I'm a petty person. While I'm excited about seeing the Family Guy back on FOX... there is a part of me that says "FOX had their shot at this show and they cancelled it..." you know?I just hope they let the show do what the show can do. Because everyone behind that show (especially Seth MacFarlane) is brilliant.
Hey! Speaking of TV, have you seen the Elektra commercial that says "In Daredevil, she fought to the death". What it should say is: "In Daredevil, she died like a bitch" I mean, did you see that movie? I saw it because it was on HBO. First of all, being able to "see" what Daredevil hears is so stupid. That was someone's lame artistic decision... "hey! we should do something visual so that everyone can see what Daredevil sees!" While I understand that decision, it's not necessary. We all understand that he's blind... he doesn't need to "see" his environment. Whatever. Regardless, Elektra dies like a little bitch in that movie. It's not even a really good fight scene... she's just, like, standing around and "oops! I'm dead!" I hope Elektra is as critically bashed as Basically Awesome was.
I taped the Falcons/Rams game so that I could watch it later. And, after watching it... I have to say that I really like the Falcons chances this year. And it doesn't have a lot to do with Michael Vick, either (although he doesn't hurt). The year the Packers won the Super Bowl, these are the little things that I remember being important: being able to create a pass rush with the front four defensive lineman; being able to stop the run; winning the turnover differencial; being able to run the football and control the time of possession; having a great kick/punt return team. And all those things I saw from the Falcons in the Rams game. Unfortunately for the Falcons, it looks like Michael Vick would rather run the ball than throw it. On almost every play, if there's a pass rush he's looking to run. Even though Vick is BY FAR the greatest athlete in the league, he's not the best Quarterback. If the Falcons lose, it will be because they get behind in a game and are forced to have Vick throw to get back in the game. But those little things I mentioned can/will allow a team to beat any other team in the league. And the amount of yard they got in the run game was unbelievable! Remember Warrick Dunn? He's still good. BTW Thanks Green Bay for firing Ed Donatell. What a great move that was. *sarcasm*
Finally, tonight, I should mention that it was Mockupations' Opening Night. I originally put an exclamation point at the end of that sentence, but I have to be honest with you: I wasn't all that excited about the show. As we were warming up and stuff, I just felt tired. And, as we were about to go on... when I'm normally so nervous I want to throw up, tonight I felt absolutely nothing. Even the fact that we pre-sold 85 tickets... basically pre-selling out the show, couldn't get me excited to perform this show. It's so blue... and the humor is so base... it's hard for me to wrap my head around it being worth it to perform. Who's mind am I expanding during "fart closet"? What lessons are we teaching with bowling balls = testicle puns? I mean, why am I even doing this? The good news was that the show went pretty well. The bad news is that the audience wasn't as "into" it as they should have been, given that there were SO MANY people in the audience. I felt so numb about it. And, I've talked to Keith about it, there are two things I learned from this specific performance: 1) The audience needs blackouts. Even if the actors don't, the audience needs to know they can clap... and needs to feel like they can take a breath and relax for a second. Believe it or not, an audience is easily overwhelmed during a comedy show... they feel like they're laughing hard (if you do it right) and they need to take a break for a second to catch their breath. 2) If I feel like what I'm doing isn't important... if I feel like there's nothing intellectual in the show... it's hard for me to invest something emotionally in the show. That's it! I have nothing emotionally invested in this show... so I can't get nervous about it or, frankly, even care if it goes well, because this show isn't connected to any of my emotions. Whoops... sorry Joe and everyone who wrote for this show. Maybe, if I think about it, I can invest something in that I like the writers and want the show to go well because I want them to be happy. We'll see.
#6 Worst of 2004 - Whiny Bitchwork OR Opening Coldstone on North Avenue Ah... now we start getting into the Coldstone stuff, huh? Yep. And here we go... When I was put in charge of some of the more subtle, yet "important" things relating to the opening of North Avenue (like getting someone to put in the phone lines, and sitting around all day for inspectors), I hated it, but I at least understood why it was me and not anyone else who was supposed to be there to make those decisions. BUT, when it became clear that I was making all the decisions--helping with the training of all the new employees; having the architect and the area developers ask my opinion; making sure the store was well stocked with IC, mix-ins, and all the utensils, office supplies and equipment, and tools we needed--I got pretty pissed. That should NOT have been my responsibility. "Hey you, kid who has a shitty job title (Assistant)... make all the decisions to open a store!" Um... no! Give me a better job title, give me a raise, or someone else make all these damn decisions. I would have taken any of those three (yes, even the better title without the raise). But after a solid month of 14-16 hour days, most days of the week, with little to no help or even communication from my "superiors", I had seriously had it with the way that company was using me. My only regret in what happened after this is the WAY it all ended... but not THAT it ended. But I'll get to that more later, won't I?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
