PERSONAL THEATRE Opening Night With The Peanut Gallery
So my show (which runs until September 22nd, when I'll be forced to perform at 10:30 PM then hit the road after the show to be in BR for Ken's wedding weekend that next morning) opened this past Thursday night. We opened, surprisingly, to a fully packed house. I wasn't necessarily surprised that we were a full house because of anything besides the day and time during which we perform: Thursday night at 10:30? How many people are going to come out to see a sketch comedy show? Apparently enough to fill up the fabulously full-of-character Skybox (read: small and dank). The show went well, thank you very much... even though the second scene took the audience completely out of the show (it took the next two scenes to get everyone "back"). Like I had mentioned before, I had no idea how well or not well we'd be received since the cast and writers had our own little inside jokes, which kept us laughing throughout the rehearsals. I think, however, that the crowd enjoyed the show. For any questions you may have about the show, please contact my girlfriend c/o me... and she'll tell you that she's incredibly supportive. She won't tell you that, because she's modest, but I'll tell you right now that she's incredibly supportive... because she is.
PERSONAL FOOTBALL "Ouch" And Other Things Overheard As The Packers Got Trounced By The Hated Patriots
Notice the two headlines in both this section and the last. When stories overlap, I don't know what to do... so I'm giving you both headline tags. When I feel confident that you'll read a "football" headline without the "personal" tag, I'll drop the "personal" one.
Regardless, I went to see the Packers/Patriots game last Friday night with my dad. The Packer's defense was terrible. Absolutely horrible. I spent much of the first half hoping Tom Brady's knees would spontaneously explode (I even said my wish out loud and my dad thought that was pretty funny). The game was terrible until the second half when it started raining on us, HARD. At that point, we put on our rain jackets... and the crowd thinned out (the crowd did NOT leave. Packers fans don't leave the stadium! They were all inside, getting beers and brats [which I found out when I went in to get fried cheese curds]. I love Wisconsin). The only people left in the stands were the psycho fans who would stay in the stands in a preseason game in the rain... the atmosphere was electric (which was dangerous with the rain!). My dad and I ended up having a lot of fun in the rain... too bad we got slaughtered by that team-which-must-not-be-named.
My outrageous, based-on-little-factual-evidence prediction: Well, before the Lions/Rams game this past Monday night, I was very much prepared to say that Detroit would surpass the Packers this season in the NFC North (which, because of how poor the Pack play this season, would be Favre's last). But it looks like the Lions suck too. Now what? Well, Minnesota should easily win the division... but we've been saying that for years and Minnesota always chokes (because they SUCK!). After Minnesota, the rest of the division is literally up for grabs. So we might very well see the rest of the division line up as such: Green Bay, Detroit, Chicago. *shakes head* Those three teams are horrible.
FOOTBALL Cut Day OR "I Hate Y'all"
As Wide Receiver Peerless Price received (pun intended) word that he was going to be cut by the Falcons, he responded with "I hate y'all" as he left Falcons camp. Football rosters had to be cut to 65 yesterday (August 30th), and there are some surprising and interesting names on the cut list. As I mentioned, Price (who had one huge season in 2002 for Buffalo before Atlanta traded for him) made the unfortunate list of cuts. Also on the list, the equally disappointing WR Peter Warrick. When he left Florida State, they were saying Warrick was the greatest FSU Wide Receiver ever... but Cincinnati had a way of suppressing talent in the late 90s, and Warrick never really made the splash he was supposed to.
Some other interesting cuts: Bears QB Chad Hutchinson, goes from starter to cut in less than two weeks; Buccaneers RB Charlie Garner, leaves the Raiders, is replaced by a rookie in Tampa, and I wouldn't be surprised to see him on a roster come opening day; Broncos RB Maurice Clarett and DT Luther Ellis... Clarett went from first-round shoe-in to third round and cut in the same span of two years that Ellis went from Lions starter to cut--in '97 we were talking about Ellis the star defensive lineman, what happened?; Lions QB Timmy Chang, apparently is a product of the Hawaii throw-on-every-down system; Packers LB Hannibal Navies and G Matt O'Dwyer, Navies was a starter at LB for the Pack last season and O'Dwyer was talked about as having a clear path to a starting job at Guard; Texans TE Billy Miller, in 2002 his 51 catches were off the hook for a tight end... now his phone is what's off the hook; Jags WR Troy Edwards, who I always felt was horribly underrated... he's scrapy enough to be given consideration elsewhere (Eagles?); Dolphins QB Brock Berlin and RB Kay-Jay Harris, I never thought Berlin was any good with the Miami Hurricanes and I don't expect him to make a come-back in the NFL, but Harris was a star at West Virginia last season... he might find his way onto a team this year or next; Patriots QB Rohan Davey and KR Chad Morton, I bet no one even knew Morton was a Patriot because he wasn't one for long, but Davey has been Brady's back-up since Brady was good enough to need a back-up... did Davey miss his chance somewhere along the way?; Redskins WR Darnerien McCants, who made fantasy footballers cheer in 2003 with 6 touchdowns out of nowhere and has since gone back to nowhere.
Look for some of these players to make other rosters (or practice squads) before all is said and done.
PERSONAL Cable Shut-Off
As you probably all know by now, my cable was shut off this weekend. I've been scrambling to catch up with the news (and my emails) for the past day. Hurricane Katrina seems to be dominating the airwaves... even on sports channels. Speaking of sports, the US Open tennis tournament started and Andy Roddick is already out. Huh... surprise! So what I have been doing without cable or internet access. Let's find out...
VIDEO GAMES No Cable = Perfect Time To Catch Up On Video Games
Just when you thought it was safe to read this page again, I go and play NCAA Football 06 for like two days straight. What have I learned? I LOVE the new "Race for the Heisman" mode... as it allows me to play the games without all the recruiting and scheduling and personnel non-sense that usually takes me hours to complete. Don't get me wrong, I still love having total control of the team (and I'd still like to be able to change the players' numbers and equipment)... I just feel like I've never gotten the hang of recruiting players, and I agonize over who to recruit and how much, etc. Honestly, the off-season in previous NCAA Football games has taken me about half the time it takes to play all the games of the regular season... I spend HOURS trying to get everything just right. But, with the new Heisman mode, I was able to play two seasons in pretty much two days. This, I hope, will eventually allow me to import my player (a #42 RB for Notre Dame... can't change the numbers, see?) into Madden's new Superstar Mode, which is basically the same thing. I'm hoping that the Superstar mode will also allow me to get back to the business of just playing the games. Again, don't get me wrong, I love lots of customizable features, I just get bogged down by them sometimes when all I want to do is play the game. "Hello! You play to win the game!"... thank you Coach Edwards.
BOOKS No Cable = Perfect Time To Catch Up On Reading
Without cable I've also been able to catch up on some reading. MCW lovingly let me borrow two of her books--Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and The Da Vinci Code--and they couldn't be more polar opposite. First of all, let me say that I've already finished the Guide. It's whopping 216 pages took me all of a couple afternoons. Secondly, I'm only currently 33 pages into the Da Vinci Code so everything I'm saying about it is based on very little empirical evidence and could, therefore, be way off base. But this is what I mean by saying that they're complete opposite books: The Hitchhiker's Guide is a character exploration book. It's plot is hidden, yet simple... (revolving around the destruction of the Earth) and the reader simply becomes lost in the world Adams creates. We forgive Adams for not having much of a classical plot because the characters are so amazing. Adams gives such a sense of size and vastness to his story that you DO, actually, feel like it's some kind of Guidebook to something as large as a Galaxy. Everything in the book feels like it's part of a larger, almost infinitely connected story that would take far too long to tell. Being done with the book is like eating one Reese's Peanut Butter Cup... and you say "huh... I hope there's another one of those, because that was good."
The Da Vinci Code, however, is simply a dressed up plot. I care very little (read: not at all) about the characters, as I am treated to such dull exposition as "pain is good," which Brown feels he needs to repeat three times on a page so that the reader will understand his character and his character's motivations. Don't get me wrong, the book reads like such a factual text-book that one cannot help but feel that everything in it is a factual account of actual events (which is amazing in its own way), but I have a feeling that I will be most interested in what happens as opposed to who it's happening to. One reads this book not to understand human characters, but to unravel a very REAL feeling mystery. "A real-live mystery!" his readers say. With narrative faux pas such as telling us what the character knows to be behind him (when Langdon heads towards the Louvre) without the character actually looking in that direction, made me roll my eyes and want to gag just a little bit. Speaking of, all the French (and similar "heady" text [read: big words]) brings me out of the story just a little bit... and I wouldn't blame readers of Brown to feel like he's a genius simply because they don't understand what he's getting at half the time. You're a smart guy who knows what he's talking about... we get it! I'm hoping that, as the pages progress and he stops feeling the need for his horrible exposition, the book will pick up. Seeing as it's obviously a plot-driven book... I can't see how it won't pick up speed as it goes along, the characters swept away by the waves upon waves of plot. When Stephan King talks about books that hit you over the head with the hammer of plot, The Da Vinci Code will be one of the first books about which I think. I'm not saying that plot driven books are bad... but I'm just saying that, after I finish this book, I already know I won't be waiting for the sequel (unlike The Hitchhiker's Guide). See how they're about as different as you can get?
NATIONAL NEWS Without Cable, Guess Who Didn't Know About Hurricane Katrina
Ah... this guy *points to self*. It's surprising to me that, without cable or internet access, I had absolutely no idea what was going on around the nation or the globe. When I "came to" yesterday, I was aghast by the devastation that New Orleans (and Mississippi) is facing. Looking at the video from N.O., I can't believe how traumatic the flooding would be, as some of you know my "thing" about "drowning" and "water" in "general." I see that they had people inside the Superdome in NO to get out of the weather... and it must have been the most people in that building since Super Bowl XXXI. Zing! The Saints suck and this tragedy will either emphasize how much they suck, or will pull them together so much that they're the surprise team of the league. Regardless of my personal jabs at New Orleans football, lots of people in the area have been traumatically effected by the Hurricane.
Speaking of, and in the "how can this guy's life get worse" file, it seems as though Brett Favre's childhood house was destroyed by flood waters thanks to Hurricane Katrina--causing his mother and grandmother to hide in the attic Monday night while the waters filled the house in about 10 minutes. Favre, actually, has called this the toughest time during his pro career which, if you know Favre's story, is really hard to believe. He's actually on Fox News (gasp!) right now talking about his family. For some reason, Fox News is letting him talk and talk (live from Green Bay)... and I was unaware that his wife and children live down in Mississippi as well. His whole family is down there in the damaged area... and he said that his wife told him yesterday that they had a loaf of bread left to eat. That's all. I find it surprising that someone with power, money, and influence could have it so hard... but that just shows my ignorance. Everyone is effected equally when "nature strikes" (sorry... too much Fox). Favre talked about how he's been trying to figure out a way to get down there to help them, but there are no airports he could land in, no stores he could buy supplies in, no electricity he could store food with... I've rarely seen him seem more helpless. He's talked about driving a truck full of supplies down to Mississippi after the Titans game tomorrow night, but he might as well just skip the game and go help if he thinks he can. It's preseason, and it's not more important than his family. And that made me think... what if it was a regular season game? And the answer would be simple... it's still worth skipping the game to help. His consecutive games streak, the season, the team... it all wouldn't matter to me. Such is Favre's personal connection with the fans... and the fans love of him, that we wouldn't be upset if he missed a game, we'd be asking how we can help him. I guess there are more important things in life than football... even in Wisconsin.
PERSONAL Let's Call This Box Home For Six More Months
After viewing other apartments, talking with a few apartment type people, and talking to my parents about my possibilities, it was mutually decided that I would simply stay put in my apartment for six more months until I'm done with the Second City Conservatory. So, anyone who wants to know my new address... it's my old address. Until about March-ish, when I hope to have a job and a plan for what to do once I'm done with the Conservatory. Or else I'll end up poor and in Detroit...
NATIONAL NEWS Way To Go D Town! You're Now The Nation's Poorest Big City
According to this article out of Detroit, over one-third of Detroit residents are now living at or below the federal poverty line. Take THAT, Cleveland! The article also says that Michigan has the highest unemployment rate in the nation. The Michigan Democratic party has used these numbers to ask the Republican-controlled Legislature to take Dem. Gov. Granholm's recommendation to raise the minimum wage from $5.15 to $7.15. While I love the democrats, they're wrong here. I've actually got some experience with this. With unemployment rates so high, raising the minimum wage doesn't help people without jobs, it hurts them. The people who are without job are sitting on some money which is worth less if the minimum wage is raised. Think Time Value of Money... or some other accounting term I've long-since forgotten. Regardless, raising the minimum wage is not an intelligent way to tackle unemployment... even if it might be a short-term fix for poverty. Why not a long-term fix? Because, my dear ones, if everyone is getting more money, the poverty line will be raised, and these people will still be below that line. *shrug* Hard to wrap ones mind around how to fix problems this big... but congrats to Detroit, you scary, crappy city.

PERSONAL NEWS FLASH Live from Harold Washington Library--In Beautiful Downtown Chicago...
It's me. I can only give you the short version of this story, as I have 11 minutes left on this computer. Here's the short version: After an early weekend with my dad (watching the Packers get slaughtered by the Patriots), I came back to my apartment to find that my cable had been disconnected by accident. Some angry phone calls, and an hour and a half later, and the soonest my cable company can come back to my place to reconnect the cable they accidentally disconnected in the first place is Tuesday morning. That's tomorrow. So I'm without internet access until then. I'm sure I'll get back to everyone (and start posting again) tomorrow... but, for now, let's just say I have bigger fish to yell at until they fix what they broke. Thanks!

"NEWS" The "P" Too Many Letters: Diddy Now Just Diddy
I just saw that Diddy, formerly P. Diddy, formerly Puff Daddy, formerly Sean "Puffy" Combs, is going to be hosting the 2005 Video Music Awards on MTV. This is not news. I'm going to be interested to see (read: I'm NOT going to watch) what Diddy does as host. I believe Diddy can now safely fall into the category of "people who are famous for being famous." I mean, what has Diddy done lately? Anything? Anything besides ridiculously changing his name again? Yeah... I can't think of anything either.
PERSONAL Apartment Viewing Monday
I went apartment viewing this past Monday. I would have said "shopping" but the word shopping implies that one can actually exchange money for goods and/or services. This is not the case... as I was simply spending my time viewing apartments for which I would not be exchanging money. It was good for me to reconnoiter, I suppose, but I'm a few weeks from actually having to move. I feel like I should be more prepared to move, both mentally and financially, and I'm really not. I was, however, upset enough last night with my elevators (both were broken at the same time) that I told Emcee Dubs that I WAS ready to leave this building and this area. And, honestly, I'm sick of not being able to walk down to a corner grocery/convenience store, or a bar... I mean, it'll take me five to ten minutes to walk to those places... and I really want something right on the corner that I can claim ownership of. "That's my bar!" I'll say, proudly smiling, arms akimbo. Do I sound lame? *sigh* I thought so.
PERSONAL Good-bye Gym Memberships: High Blood-Pressure Is Here To Stay!
Yesterday I emailed a letter through the USPS website to my gym. First of all, yes, I did say that I emailed something through the Post Office. Secondly, let me tell you that my stupid gym required me to send them something via CERTIFIED mail or else they would charge me $540 for a renewal! Grr to my X-Gym X-Sport! Do you even know what certified mail is? I had to look it up! It's an annoying and more expensive way to do business (that's their tag line). But a heavy *sigh* must go to my misspent gym membership. I'm just not meant to belong to a gym. What I need is something related to sports. I need to be able to play sports with people... that's the only way I'm going to get into shape. Stupid shape!
PERSONAL Tech Rehearsal Tuesday: Show Opens Tonight!
Yes, kiddies, after a couple months of rehearsal, the day is finally here. To say I'm excited for this show would be an understatement... as I actually have absolutely no idea how the audience will react to this show. I've been both impressed and disappointed by the writing and the acting... and have now grown to love the show so much that I don't know if it's funny or not. We, the actors (and the writers), have so much fun with the show that I'm not sure whether or not people will laugh as much as we do when we're rehearsing. I'm also going to be interested to see how I respond to having three hours of class and THEN trying to perform on stage. I have no idea how my body/mind will respond. My guess is that I'll be fine until AFTER the show, when I collapse into a heap of overweight, sweaty actor. Mmm... I'm attractive.

LOCAL and NATIONAL NEWS Back To School, Back To School...
Well, it looks like the kiddies are back at the school thing. As I was walking past the Moody Bible Institute Sunday, I couldn't help but notice all the activity on the campus that had been dormant all summer. And, from what I hear, Albion is back at the ol' grind. The new class this year, the class of 2009, will graduate the same summer as my 10 year high school reunion. That's a scary thought, huh? How about this (which I brought up last night while we were messing around at tech rehearsal)... the freshman in high school, this year, were probably born in 1990. In eight years, there won't be a single college student who remembers the 80s. While they're better off without that music (gag), they will have never known the joy of Saved by the Bell, or MacGyver... or life *gasp* BEFORE CELL PHONES! *screams!* Here's me, wishing those who still have classes (heehee... so young) have an amazing year! Best of luck.
NATIONAL NEWS Wal-Mart: Always Bastards. Always
This is a fun story from Oregon. I'm using "fun" loosely. It seems a retired couple in Oregon forgot to pay for the $10 worth of 10 bags of steer manure during a recent trip to Wal-Mart. After explaining the hilarious mix-up to the city's attorney, the charges of shoplifting were dropped. The story ends there, right? Not exactly. Apparently a law in Oregon allows a retailer to "pursue civil penalties regardless of whether a person is found guilty or innocent of theft" the article says. And that's just what Wal-Mart did, demanding $175 in civil DAMAGES for the $10 worth of MANURE. Since the court costs would be several thousand dollars to challenge the civil action, the couple decided to just pay the $175. In a classy move (notice the sarcasm), Wal-Mart has decided to refund the money... a spokesman saying "It simply seems like the right thing to do." Um, I'm sorry, but to me the right thing to do would be to not charge $175 to someone who was not found guilty of anything. Call me old fashioned.
LOCAL NEWS Who Are These People?
Here's a story about how people in Chicago are paying $7 for tours of Chicago-land landfills. It actually sounds like a cool tour: a three-hour bus tour of over a dozen sites which include landfills, a recycling center, and a waste water treatment plant. Not sold? Haven't you ever wondered what happens to the stuff you throw away? Have you wondered $7 worth? No? Okay, I don't know how else to sell this tour to you then. You're so choosy. Let me guess, your mom chose Jif?

THEATRE Something Wicked This Way Comes OR Off To See The Wizard
This weekend was Miss Chelsey's birthday weekend, which was spent, lovingly (aww) here in Chicago. And this Saturday afternoon marked the culmination of months of planning (and one kidney sale later) which was my purchase of tickets to see Wicked. Wicked, which I have long-since known is Chelsey's favorite musical (at least her favorite musical that she's never seen), is the "untold" story of Oz. It's what happens before the maple syrup. Whoops... wrong Oz. I mean it's what happens before Dorthy steals the Wicked Witch of the East's shoes. Elphaba (aka the Wicked Witch of the West) is played fabulously by former SNL cast-member Ana Gasteyer. To me, that was a real thrill... to be able to see someone who was on SNL performing on stage. Wicked--the musical--'s story is taken from Wicked the novel. As with all story-lines that exist as only because of an already existing story, Wicked is allowed to be clever and can foreshadow. But, unlike the other "prequal" I can think of (the Star Wars series), Wicked does it right. Taking the "bad guy" from an existing storyline and making them the hero is tough... but Wicked's Elphaba is believable and likeable (unlike SW's Anakin). Her motivations are clear, understandable, and don't involve midi-chlorians. Wicked (music aside) is a smart, funny, interesting story. And, here's where I am, one of the things I hate (HATE) about musicals is the fact that the story comes second (or not at all), preferring just to string together songs. I find nothing more annoying and a bigger waste of time than a music album which pretends to be theatre. But I found that Wicked (like Cabaret) is an interesting piece of theatre that just happens to have music in it. These type of plays I consider plays, and not musicals (allowing me to blindly hate all musicals indiscriminately).
WORLD Top 100 Hunks From The UK and Ireland
Yahoo UK and Ireland has complied a list of the top 100 Hunks in Movies, Music, Sports, and on TV. The reason you know it's from the UK? Robbie Williams is #3. The reason you know the list is not quite right? Benicio Del Toro is #9. So, with those two bits of information, I asked myself "Where would I fall on this list? Surely I could squeak into the 80s or 90s, right?" Well... Angel's David Boreanaz is #82 and Antonio Banderas is #90... but I might be able to The Office's Ricky Gervais at #97. That's right... your old pal Crazy makes the list at #97.
NATIONAL NEWS A Phillies Game: Where Politics Abound
Here's a story about a Philadelphia Phillies game this past week. It was the third annual Gay-Day in Philadelphia, which was by the Gay Men's Chorus singing the National Anthem before the game. Oddly enough, it was also the third annual visit by someone from Repent America. Hiding behind both the first amendment and a sign that said "Homosexuality is a Sin, Christ can save you" the Repent America representatives were allowed to protest until the sixth inning when the growing anger of the people around them lead the police to escort them to leave. The most interesting part of the story? The Phillies had okayed this protest... telling the Repent America's attorneys in advance that they could protest. The most surprising part of this whole story? People were at a Phillies game.

MOVIE Episode III: Backstroke of the West
Check out this blog. It's posted by an English-speaker living in Bangkok. He bought a bootlegged DVD version of Revenge of the Sith... which was translated from English to Chinese to English. It is HILARIOUS! Whoever did the translation to English obviously didn't know English. Check out things like "He is in my behind," "You two careful, he is a big," "They want to know him at fuck," and, my PERSONAL favorite, the Jedi Council being translated into (I kid you not) "The Presbyterian Church." It's worth a look if you need a chuckle today.

NATIONAL NEWS Former Power Ranger to Stand Trial for Murder
This story is as weird and disturbing as my page gets. The former Power Ranger, Skylar Deleon, and his wife are accused of tying a wealthy couple to the anchor of their own yacht and throwing them overboard. According to the Deputy District Attorney, the couple tried to hold their breath as they sank to the bottom. The story goes on to explain that the murders were part of a conspiracy to steal the wealthy couple's 55 foot yacht. To add to the bizarre nature of this crime, a 40-year-old gang member named John Fitzgerald Kennedy was involved. I'm not sure what Skylar thought he was trying to do, but perhaps he thought the yacht could transform itself into a time machine and he could go back and save JFK from being assassinated. Just a thought... what a bizarre crime.
WORLD NEWS Bet You Wish You Were A Waitress Now
This story from Sweden should put a little bounce in your step as you think to yourself "Yes, there are random acts of kindness and there are people who are still good enough to keep their word." Apparently a Swedish man gave a 19 year-old waitress a Porsche as a tip. He told her she would get his Porsche as a tip and she thought he was just hitting on her... but when HE gave HER his phone number, she called it, and she went to visit him with her father the next day, he kept his word and gave her the car. Granted, the car is only worth about $4,000 so, for a Porsche, it needs some work... but he did keep his word. The only tragic part of this story? The 19 year-old is still waitressing, as a car doesn't pay bills.
SCIENCE NEWS Wisconsin Scientists Say "Bharrr" Is At Center of Milky Way
The above is how I think people in Wisconsin would spell bar if they had to spell phonetically. Don't believe me? I'll do my impression for you sometime and you'll know. Regardless, this story is about two University of Wisconsin astronomers who believe the bar at the center of the Milky Way universe is actually larger than originally thought. They think the band of stars at the center of the Milky Way is 27,000 light years across (which is 7,000 light years longer than originally speculated). How important is this discovery? Depends... NASA felt it important enough to spend five years setting up the experiment and one year making sense of all the data... so someone felt it worth six years of their life. Click the link to see the artist's rendering... it's pretty neat.

SPORTS Coyotes Sign Joseph
Well, Curtis Joseph is gone from Detroit. I can't say that I'm REALLY sorry to see him go. He was incredible four seasons ago with Toronto... said a tearful farewell to the Maple Leaf faithful, and arrived in Detroit with all our hopes on his shoulders. To say he disappointed would be an understatement... as his first season he was semi-incredible again. He won 34 games his first season with the Wings... but then only 16 games his last season with the Wings. I think, honestly, he crumbled under the intense pressure that is Detroit hockey fanatics... but he might flourish in the laissez faire atmosphere that is Phoenix. Especially since the Coyotes have such a powerful roster (and big name coach) this season. Look for the Coyotes to be one of the teams (like Pittsburgh) that surprises this season. Stupid Phoenix.
FOOTBALL Favre Has Same Hip Condition Which Ended Bo Jackson's Career?
A new report does nothing but to simple add to Favre's tough-guy reputation. ESPN.com reports that Brett Favre has been diagnosed with avascular necrosis since 1992. Avascular necrosis, it reports, is a condition wherein the there is a lack of blood supply to the hip socket... and this is the same condition that Bo Jackson had, and the resulting hip injury exacerbated the condition and sidelined Jackson indefinitely. If Favre injured his hip, he too could be sidelined forever... that man is incredible.
TV Battle of the Reality Stars?
Bravo, the fabulous channel that brought us Queer Eye and Being Bobby Brown, tonight brings us a show called the "Battle of the Network Reality Stars." Is this what television has come to? Where we refer to the people who are on "reality" TV as "STARS"? Frankly, as an actor, I'm offended. What have they done besides put themselves in stupid situations so that Joe and Jane America can sit and feel better about themselves because they're not stupid enough to be on shows like this? Please. I hate reality TV... and the contempt I have for those who watch it knows no bounds. Hell, I mean, there's even a dude on this Reality Stars show from "Show Biz Moms and Dads." What the hell did this guy ever do besides psychotically push his children? Count me out of this one, thanks.

WORLD NEWS 7.2 Earthquake Rocks Northern Japan
I saw in the news today that a major earthquake it Northern Japan, causing landslides and small tsunamis, and injuring around 40 people. I saw some video on the news of a news broadcaster in Japan who was reading the news when the earthquake hit. The video of him showed him sitting, trying to look composed, while he continued to read the news! This is the difference between Japan and the US. If the quake hit the US, the news reporter would have been looking around off camera, as if to say "Hey! Someone ask the producer what's going on!" This guy was reading the news as if saying "If I stop reading the news they'll replace me! I will disgrace myself and my family!" This is why I love to watch the old Iron Chef and know that Iron Chef America will never be as good. On the old Iron Chef, the chefs looked like the the fate of their life rested on the balance of how well their food was received. That's what makes that show so interesting. The American version will never be about more than superficial pride. "I'm better than you are" seems to be a very American motivation... and isn't as interesting as someone who appears to have his entire life on the line.
MUSIC Vanilla Ice... Back Like Montazuma's Revenge
I was watching Cold Pizza this morning when I noticed a dear friend I have long since missed: Mr. Rob Van Winkle. It seems as though Mr. Ice has a new album in stores today. Mmm... I haven't been this excited since V Ice delivered Bi-Polar. That album brought the funk AND the flavor... being both a rock and rap album. Plus, he has wicked tattoos.
In additional music news, 311's new album (Don't Tread On Me) hits stores today. Look for me, the guy without a job or money to speak of, to own it by mid-afternoon. Credit is a wonderful thing. (Update: Purchased it right before the birthday card buying... see below)
FOOTBALL Hines Ward in Camp; Brown and Jones Sign
One of the classiest acts in the NFL (I sound like Jim), Hines Ward, is back in camp in Pittsburgh. Ward, who is a much more elite receiver than he'd let you know, does everything for the Steelers and is considered by most (and rightfully so) as the best blocking wide receiver in the league. Before last season started Ward wanted the Steelers to eventually restructure his contract. The Steelers told him that if he went about his business as usual that they'd take care of him. Ward, always a class act, went through the season without saying a word. Now, as this season approached, Ward waited for the Steelers to take care of him like he said. They continued not to. He said he wasn't going to come into camp until they restructured his contract. They said they wouldn't restructure until he came into camp. So, after a couple of weeks of holding out, Ward is back in camp... like the class act he is. Let's hope that the Steelers actually take care of Ward like they said they were going to.
Additionally from the NFL, Miami's first-round draft pick Ronnie Brown and Tennessee's first-round pick "Pacman" Jones finally just signed with their teams. Brown probably would have easily been the number one back if he had been in camp on time... but, as it is, he'll probably have to fight for the spot with on-again/off-again Ricky Williams. And the man with the lovely monicker "Pacman" has managed to alienate himself from everyone already on the Titans by some comments he made about the veterans (I don't really know what he said).
SPORTS Penguins Sign John LeClair
From the "God bless them, the Penguins are actually trying this year" file, we see that Pittsburgh hockey may well be back this season. Listen to these players: LeClair, Mark Recchi, Sergei Gonchar, Ziggy Palffy, Jocelyn Thibault, and draft pick Sidney Crosby... all picked up since the last time they played (Recchi was signed last season). And, guess who's on the active roster: one Mr. Mario Lemieux. That's right. Seriously, all the Penguins need are a few more good defensemen, and we're talking about a serious playoff contender. That is, as long as these old guys can stay healthy.
PERSONAL Show You My "0" Face
As I was making a grocery shopping list, I dropped my clipboard onto my laptop. The result? The "0" key on my laptop is now hanging on by a limb. Actually typing the above zeros was interesting... as it feels like the key is going to snap off whenever I hit it. Now I'm all upset with myself because I stupidly broke my laptop... and it's not as new looking as it was this morning. *shakes head* So upset with myself.
PERSONAL Movin' On Up
I don't necessarily need a de-lux apartment... but if you could have it levitating in the sky, that'd be pretty sweet. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the fact that I called the PPM people today and have an appointment for next Monday to check out some properties in the Lakeview/Lincoln Park area. I talked with someone who sounded around my age, and I think it actually might be pretty fun to check out apartments with her Monday. She seems like she's not going to pressure me... but that might have a lot to do with the fact that I know exactly what I'm looking for, I just need to find it.
FOLLOW-UP Mega M&Ms... Mega price?
I went to CVS to get some birthday cards and such this afternoon and saw those Mega M&Ms the kids are raving about! I decided to pick up a bag just to try them out. The colors are ridiculous: Beige, Teal, Maroon, Gold, Brown, and Blue-Gray. With the beige and the blue-gray, it's like a bag of Civil War candies. Kidding aside, I love the size... but I've noticed that the chocolate in M&Ms have a little too much butter in them. It's odd. The smaller M&Ms are too small to tell... but the larger ones, it is pretty obvious that the chocolate tastes too buttery. They're still good... I'm just saying.
PERSONAL Contrary to Popular Belief I'm Still a Good Person
As I was driving back from birthday card buying, I came across a squirrel crossing the road. I stopped my car quickly (with no one behind me) and allowed the squirrel to safely and obliviously cross. The me from a year ago, the me that was working for She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, might have seriously run over the squirrel. I would have felt so angry at the inconvenience, I might have kept going and just said to myself "If the squirrel doesn't get out of the way, it's his fault if he dies. Not mine." But, even though I was that guy before, I've come back and I'm the nice guy everyone knew and loved sexually. I mean loved. It seems as though a Chicago story about me might as well be named "There and back again: A Steeno story."

LOCAL NEWS John Johnson's Funeral Today on Chicago's Southside
From Bill Clinton, to Mayor Daley, to Barack Obama, to the Revs Ferrakhan and Jesse Jackson, big names are meeting today on Chicago's southside for Mr. John H. Johnson's funeral. The founder of both Ebony and Jet magazines, it is said he gave the United States the first "positive window" into the black culture. I must admit, this story is a little lost on me... but I know enough to respect Mr. Johnson. His was a self-made empire, growing up poor and having to borrow $500 for the first publication, but eventually becoming the first African-American on Forbes' list of the 400 Richest Americans. I think the most amazing part of Johnson's story (at least to me anyway) is that he started Ebony magazine in 1945 (Jet in 1951). I can't even imagine how different the culture was back then. And to push forward throughout all the racism and, ahh, I don't even know... but I can imagine how hard it was for him to keep Ebony and Jet going through those years. John H. Johnson, obviously, was a real pioneer in the civil rights movement.
THEATRE Wanna Know How to Piss Me Off?
Not know your lines. It's that simple. Without going too much into details, there is a member of my current cast who twice called for "line" last night during our run-through. We're two rehearsals from our opening performance! and he's calling for lines?! See, this is where I draw the line, because it's not like we don't know how to IMPROVISE! We're at the Second City! MAKE SOMETHING UP! Seriously... when he's getting close to a line I know that he doesn't know, I watch this guy tighten up like a sphincter. It LOOKS like he's trying to remember the line but, in my head I know that he's just waiting for someone to bail him out. Drives me NUTS!
While in a bout of rage, I told Chelsey that I'm NOT helping this guy out if he phuks up on stage... this isn't college, we're as close to professionals as you can get. If he messes up, I'm going to make sure everyone knows that he doesn't know his lines before I bail him out. Call me a dick if you want, but come on... know your lines! Show some respect for the work and put some effort into it.
Speaking of effort, my director has a new idea for the show. Since the show centers around children (for the most part, that is), he thought it would be a good idea for us to play children's games during our transitions. While I think it's an interesting idea on paper (or just as the idea itself), I don't know that it's practical. I mean, we (as a "cast") are having trouble remembering lines... we're now going to remember which children's game to play after which scene? Please. Besides... just being a jerk myself, I have three scenes off in a row... I want to be able to go backstage and chill out, relax, drink some water, not pay attention. But, if I have to do all the transitions... I can't do that. That's just me being selfish. But I am worried about mush-brain over there remembering what we're doing. I'm too old to hold other actor's hands during a show... I'm not going to make sure this guy knows what's going on. *sigh*
VIDEO GAMES I'm the Lamest Person I Know
And here's why. Over the past weekend, I've been semi-obsessed with Yu-Gi-Oh! Dawn of Destiny for the XBox. The graphics are terrible, considering that the game consists ONLY of the actual card battles themselves. But the game has 1,017 cards that you can "unlock" and use... and you only start off with a deck containing about 50 cards. At 3 or 5 cards at a time after you win a match, it takes one a VERY long time to obtain cards. I've played it for HOURS and I'm only up to about 190 cards. What solidified my lame-ness is the fact that I called Chelsey and excitedly expounded on the awesomeness of my deck. The worst thing about this is that I'll probably have to buy it because I'll want to play it for a while more and I'll never get Madden 2006 if I keep the Yugioh game. *shrug* I've mused to MC Dubs as to my attraction to this lame-o TV show/card game... and how my need to categorize and collect have lead me to my enjoyment of this game. And, brief sidenote, God bless Laura for feeding my obsession back in the day. She laughed at me--but not to my face--and let me have my weird obsession. Thanks LJ.
PERSONAL Insomnia
Over the past four or five days, I've been horrifically unable to sleep. One of the nights (Friday night, I think), I didn't sleep at all. I'm not sure why I can't sleep... I'm not necessarily thinking about anything--my brain just doesn't feel tired at night. And then I spend all day with my brain feeling foggy (because of the lack of sleep)... and when I get to the night my brain clears and thinks it's time to do stuff. My body disagrees. So I've been in a bad cycle for a few days... and it's so difficult to get off the bad cycle when you're in it. Gosh! I've felt like I was back in college for the past half week... except I think I got more sleep in college.

FOOTBALL Longwell Kicks Kaeding in the Face
My boy, Ryan Longwell, kicked a 53 yard field goal in the rain to win the preseason game (that I just finished watching). He did it after Nate Kaeding, second year kicker out of Iowa, missed THREE field goals in a row. Each of the missed field goals were over 40 yards and, in the rain, they were hard kicks. Let's not take anything away from how difficult the kicks were... but WOW... Longwell. Let's keep in mind that Longwell was, before a terrible season in 2001, the most accurate kicker in the history of the league. He's good... and I always choose him as my fantasy kicker. I'm cool.

THEATRE When is Improv NOT Funny?
This past Thursday night is the answer to the above question. We did an exercise in class where three people went up on stage... and did a scene. Just like that... no suggestions, no locations, no hokey-cheap humor. Tim wanted us to do it the right way... REALLY spending some time trying to figure out what had just happened before the scene started. There were some interesting, kind of heavy scenes... and then my group went up. It was Thomas, Mark, and I. Thomas and Mark are very talented... so I figured that we would be fine no matter what we said and where we went with the scene. Well... we WERE fine, but not because it was funny. As the scene unfolded, it turned out that the three of us has just killed my uncle, a pedophile who had molested all three of us when we were growing up. As we progressed through the scene, it became apparent that Thomas liked killing him a little too much, and I was the only one expressing regrets that we had killed a member of my family. And I was playing, in my head, with the thought that I loved him... that I not only loved him for the first baseball game he took me too, or the fact that he had taught me how to throw a football... but also that I loved the attention he gave me. I loved how attractive he made me feel. I mean, I REALLY didn't want the other two guys to know that I was thinking about how much I ENJOYED his disgusting sickness. What resulted was a very conflicted performance... which I was much better at acting out physically than I was articulating. I talked with two of my classmates after class, and both of them told me how good that scene was. It felt good to do "real acting" again. I kind of forgot that I even knew how to act: it's been so long. I'd like to try to do some "real acting" again, I think. But I always do this. I get bored with making people laugh, and I'd like to make people cry for a while. Then I'll get sick of being depressed all the time, and just want to make people laugh. I flip-flop so much I could be the democrat's next Presidential candidate! Zing! No? I forgot what my political orientation was for a second, I'm sorry.
MOVIE The Aristocrats
Last night I went and saw the documentary "The Aristocrats." For those of you who don't know, the idea for this movie came from the mind of Penn Jillete--of Penn and Teller fame. It is a documentary of a joke. One single, dirty joke. The dirtiest, most vile joke I've ever heard. Here's the deal. The set-up for the joke is always the same: A family goes into a talent agency, claiming they have just the act he's looking for. When the talent agent asks of what their act consists... the comedy ensues. The joke always has the same punch line... which is, as they say in the movie, a let-down after the rest of the joke. I enjoyed the movie... but the most important part for me, personally, is that they're looking for someone to tell the joke to be on the DVD. There's a contest... if you win, you'll be on the DVD (telling your version) and you'll win some cash ($1,000). Ever since I saw the movie (last night), I've been thinking about of what my version will consist. Mmm... I really want to work on this dirty joke. If you don't hear from me in a few weeks, it's because I'm writing a dirty joke. Yeah. That's nice.
NEWS AND NOTES Trying to Be More Like Fark
In an effort to be more like Fark (but, honestly, for readability sake) I'm trying out this color-coded headline system. I was talking to my friend Katy who said that she sometimes skips the football/sports sections of my blog. I'm not offended, it's cool, and that's actually why I started using the bold headlines in the first place. But the color coded system should be easier for people to skip what they want and read what they want. Let me know what you think.
FOOTBALL Grossman Injured... What Will Bears Do?
I actually heard this first on Jim's blog. Rex Grossman, the Chicago Bears third-year Quarterback, got injured AGAIN this preseason. I remember the Grossman draft, and how he was being talked about going to the Packers to replace Favre (glad we didn't take him). Grossman was injured in game three of last season (after he beat my Packers in Lambeau), and the Bears spent the rest of the season trying to find a replacement. They did find a likely candidate in Chad Hutchinson, a vagabond quarterback/baseball player from Stanford by way of the Dallas Cowboys. He spanked the Vikings last season in early December, and then proceeded to lose four games in a row (the last four games of the season). But, even though he lost 4 of his 5 starts, he was still light years better than any other Bears Quarterback last season. In the off-season, the Bears drafted Kyle Orton, the three year starter from Purdue... who I told everyone who would listen (at the time) that he was only good because he was a three-year starter in college. Anyone, I claimed, will be good his senior year after starting in college for three years because of his familiarity with the system and the high turnover rate of his opponents (meaning he was playing against other men in school who didn't have the kind of experience he had). Well, after seeing him throw at the Hall of Fame game, I might have to readjust my thinking. He threw the ball EXTREMELY well against the Dolphins, granted it was their second or third stringers at the time. The point being that he can (as the cliche goes) "make all the throws." I'll be interested to see what Lovie Smith does with his QBs, but won't be surprised if Orton gets the job outright to start the season.
FOOTBALL Favre Not Contracted to "Mentor Rodgers"
So I am currently (Saturday morning) watching the Packers/Chargers game (from Thursday night). BJ Sander might actually be the amazing punter that we were supposed to get last year when we drafted him... it just took him longer than everyone thought (a 46 yard average in the game!). Speaking of expectations, Antonio Chatman has returned punts this preseason just like he should have last year. The defense sucks a big one... and I fully anticipate my blood pressure to go through the roof this season. Ahman Green fumbled twice... which my dad has already emailed me about. He gave me a heavy, electronic sigh... as if we've seen this before. What I haven't seen much of before is Philip Rivers. He's the Chargers' second-year Quarterback from NC State. Rivers was also talked about as a possible replacement for Favre (along with Grossman and JP Losman and, if you're Jim, Bradlee Van Pelt--that whiny, stupid bitch [no, not Jim... Bradlee]). I've been impressed with Rivers as a person... but am still waiting for him to impress me as a Quarterback. Excuse me, but I think Brees is the guy in SD. Speaking of guys in San Diego, the Coolest-Name-I've-Ever-Heard award goes to Cory Lekkerkerker, Chargers' rookie offensive lineman. Say it... you'll be glad you did.
Let's talk a little about Favre for a minute, shall we? In an interview they played during the game, Brett said of the rookie Quarterback Aaron Rodgers "It's not my job to get [Rodgers] ready to play. It's his job." I actually heard about his from Sportscenter. This is another thing Brett's said this off-season that has been blown out of proportion. There's one thing about Brett that everyone should know: You don't talk to Brett about NOT playing. Don't talk to him about who's replacing him when he retires, because, as far as he's concerned, you'll have to pull that phuking football from his cold, dead hand. He doesn't think Rodgers will ever replace him because he doesn't think he'll ever stop playing. So, please, just don't talk to Brett about who is going to replace him.
Besides, I think everyone is getting a little ahead of themselves with this Aaron Rodgers thing. Even though he played a lot in this game, Rodgers will not even be the back-up QB this season. Everyone seems to be forgetting about Craig Nall. Nall has put in his dues... has regular season experience, played in NFL Europe... and knows the system! It's Craig Nall's job to lose... so don't talk to me about Aaron Rodgers being "the guy" yet... he's got at least a year before he competes for the back-up position, and will be third-string this season. (Hey! Remember Quarterback J.T. O'Sullivan? The Packers traded for him last season. What happens to O'Sullivan? Do the Packers carry four QBs for no reason [because Favre is as invincible as a redheaded woman]?)
FOOTBALL One Last Thing About Mr. Owens
Mr. Owens was interviewed during half-time of the Pack/Chargers game. Can, um, Mr. Owens... who is "a man," be interviewed without over-rated agent Rosenhaus? I mean, T.O. is smart enough to know that "my name is Terrell Owens" and that "my mom had me"... he seems to be smart enough to answer his own questions. Let him answer his own questions. Both Owens and Rosenhaus come across as whiny, immature babies... which is the real tragedy of this story. They are RIGHT about NFL contracts... if they went about it better, we'd be talking about how right they are instead of how bitchy they're being.
And I need to say something else. Donovan McNabb, who ripped Favre for calling out Javon Walker this offseason, is now passively aggressively attacking Owens in the media. Oh, I'm sorry, McNabb is saying he's going to keep things "in house" and that makes it better. McNabb, who I respect a great deal, IS coming across like the hypocrite that Owens called him. Excuse me, Donovan, if you really want to keep things "in house," you say "no comment" EVERY TIME you get asked the same questions. By even talking about it to the media, it's no longer "in house." Come on, Donovan... if you're going to bash a class-act like Favre for not taking the high road, then you HAVE to ALWAYS take that road. Otherwise, I'm sorry, you ARE a hypocrite.

Harry Potter and the Paganization of Children's Culture
Check out the article here. I'm not exactly sure how I found this article, but I did find it and I'm glad I did. This article is huge, thick, and reading it is like wading through a pool of molasses. Basically, the author equates witches and wizards with occultist evil, and anything portraying them in a favorable light is misguided and wrong. He says that the Harry Potter books are written more like television than actual literature, in that the books "[overwhelm] by using in print form the visceral stimuli and pace of the electronic media, flooding the imagination with sensory rewards while leaving it malnourished at the core."
The article goes on to give a description of the Harry Potter plots, which I feel frankly were the kind of brief synopsis he could have copied from the leaf-jackets of the books themselves... and he insists on putting things like "good wizards" in quotation marks, just so the stupid reader (obviously me) knows that there really is "no such thing" as a "good wizard."
The author then goes into what is really "wrong" with these "books." One of the reasons I don't think he actually read the books is this little gem: "Transfiguration lessons show them how to change objects and people into other kinds of creatures--often against their will." I can't seem to remember a single lesson where the teacup they were trying to turn into a canary raised an objection at the thought. But, regardless, one of his conclusions is this: "The wizard world is about the pursuit of power and esoteric knowledge, and in this sense it is a modern representation of a branch of ancient Gnosticism, the cult that came close to undermining Christianity at its birth."
While you try to digest that huge piece of... whatever... check this out. The author makes an interesting point here: "The false notion that "the end justifies the means" is the subtext throughout. The author's characterization and plot continually reinforce the message that if a person is "nice," if he means well, if he is brave and loyal to his friends, he can pretty much do as he sees fit to combat horrific evil--magic powers being the ideal weapon." (Notice the parenthesis that I did not add into the quotation itself. Nice) This is a good point, I feel... but one that is lost on me. At no point do Harry and his friends cross any kind of "that's too far ethically" line. We see Harry struggle with the decision to capture Pettigrew rather than kill him (but he does), and we even see Malfoy struggle in Book 6 (without going into detail for those who aren't that far [Ken]). Yes, the historic "end justifying means" debate is still hotly contested, but I don't think it's fully applicable to Harry Potter. While we've seen Hermoine punch Draco, we've seen hexes and curses, we've never seen anything so unforgivable and ethically wrong that you have to pull out the "end justifies the means" debate. In fact, for the most part, the books have been kind of thrillers... where we know that Harry will eventually have to face "evil" (I'm doing it too!) and fight it off, we just don't really see him get the full blast of Voldemort's power. I still feel it's too early to say what the end will be, so how can we be talking about the end justifying the means without knowing what the end is?
The author goes on to write about how the use of magic is in complete contrast with the virtues of religion. And, in all honesty, the arguments become so well written and well thought out that it becomes difficult not to agree with the author about the books being opposed to (or, more accurately, ignoring) religion. Here is the thing, though. There is a sense in this article--and others like it--that Rawling is doing this maliciously. As if she writes the books in a darkened room with candles burning in elaborate formations and chants in Latin being played in the background. What I think Rawling is actually doing is capturing the essence of actual children's experiences, and putting them into a fanciful, fictional world. Kids are malicious... the lines between good and evil often blurred during school years... morality becomes relative during the grade school years.
I had a whole bunch of stuff that went right here but I lost it. I will now try to reconstruct it, but I'm tired and sick of writing, so please forgive me.
If Catholics (or Christians in general) have a problem with these books then please, by all means, give us an alternative. Give us a great story with the kinds of morals and ethics you WANT children to be learning. So often it's easy to say "you shouldn't have this"... but, if given no alternative, nothing will change. I challenge the Religious Right to write a book or series of books which is more interesting. And, for the love of God, make it better than How Awesome Will It Be?: A Teenager's Guide to Understanding and Preparing for the Second Coming.
To be honest, I couldn't finish the article. I stopped when the author started talking about how Gandolf was "okay" because he wasn't really a wizard but a moral guide for the other characters. It, to me, seems inaccurate for the White WIZARD who uses MAGIC to become POWERFUL on the BATTLEFIELD to not be more closely related to the Harry Potter characters who are obviously analogous with Satan. To me, that hypocricy is almost as blatant as talking about how the "Fictional" Harry Potter might be, in part, responsible for the ten-fold increase in "real" exorcisms performed by Catholic Priests over the past decade. Yeah... Priests are still doing exorcisms... I didn't know it either.
Mega M&Ms
Without anything else to do in R and D, M&Ms are now making bigger candies. They're also boring ass colors, trying to appeal to adults. Think teal and khaki. I guess I don't have much to say about them besides the fact that I'm interested to see how big they are. And I can't slam M&Ms too much because new the dark chocolate M&Ms are delicious to the max! Have you had the dark chocolate ones? SO GOOD!
Man Dies Playing Video Games
Here's an article about a South Korean man who died after playing a video game for 50 straight hours. I'd like to call him an amateur (thinking that I could do that without dying), but the article says that he recently quit his job to spend more time playing video games. As such, his story becomes infinitely more tragic. I lost a hero on this day.
Redheads are Invincible!
This is an article about how redheaded women are less susceptible to pain than everyone else. It seems as though the scientists believe that redheaded women have a genetic mutation that makes them less susceptible to pain... and the scientists are now going to try to use this discovery to produce new anesthetics. Perhaps this is what drives me towards redheaded women... because dating me is painful. Zing?
Bonnie and Clyde
Real quickly... a two day search does not make anyone the "modern day" Bonnie and Clyde. Also, no offense to the officer shot, but the "real" Bonnie and Clyde were suspected of killing THIRTEEN people, as well as committing robberies and burglaries, as they led the police on a TWO YEAR manhunt. A two-day manhunt for the two Hyattes in no way makes them Bonnie and Clyde. And I don't care, Jim, that they were married, were running from the law, and had shot a lawman... the comparison is still stupid, inaccurate, and shows a real lack of creativity in modern journalism. So there.

Red Wings Restricted Free Agents
Laura wanted my take on Datsyuk and Zetterberg, both unsigned restricted Free Agents for the Wings. The fact that they're both restricted free agents is huge, in my opinion. As huge as the fact that they're currently on the Wings website roster. Zetterberg will be resigned because they need wingers and, at 24, he'll have plenty of seasons ahead of him. Datsyuk will be resigned because he's the future face of the franchise. Why haven't they been resigned yet? Well, looking at the roster, the Wings can't play a game yet. They still need a couple wingers, a defenseman or two, and hopefully another goalie (just in case). My guess is the Red Wings are spending their time trying to bring people in rather than taking care of their own... but, don't worry, both young, great players will be back this year.
NCAA Football 2006
I got NCAA 06 from GameFly yesterday and I've only just started it, but I like the changes so far. They have a new version of their "Dynasty" mode which is called "Race for the Heisman." In the RftH mode, you start off as a high school player who works out for teams and is offered a scholarship to three schools (or given the opportunity to walk-on). Being me, I decided to be a Running Back and try to make my way onto Notre Dame's team. I had to run the "Oklahoma" drill about five times before I was good enough to get any scholarships from anyone of note, and then walked-on with the Irish. I'm currently about a third of the way through the first season and I already like the idea that I'm done after my player leaves college (his Junior or Senior year). One of the things I didn't like about the Dynasty mode of the past is that, after four seasons, my team consists only of players that the computer created. I lose interested at that point (to be honest, I normally lose interest after two seasons). With the new RftH mode, I can play as Notre Dame for four years and then create a Quarterback who plays for, I don't know, Iowa for four years. Then I'll create a Wide Receiver who won't be good enough to play anywhere but New Mexico or UNLV... each time getting taste enough of the team to be interesting, but not being bogged down under the weight of worrying about whether or not my offensive line will have too many wholes next year. In all honesty, I have no idea if I can control the recruiting in RftH mode... and, if I can't, I'll probably start a Dynasty as someone interesting to me like Northwestern or Northern Illinois.
Quick sidenote: Today marks Madden 2006 day. I look forward to renting it and playing as the Packers and the Lions and the Bears... creating myself as an amazingly talented, Michael Vick-like QB for both the Lions and Bears. I am not biased and I create players purely on actual physical talent. Not buying it? Fine. I'm shallow and want to make myself the greatest player the game has ever seen. But I won't make myself taller! (I regularly created a 6'8" version of myself for NBA Live games in the past until recently, when I realized it was more of a challenge to try to have a 5'10" player with amazing skills... because where do you put someone that short besides the Point? and whom can he realistically cover besides Allen Iverson?)
Moron Notre Dame
As mentioned above, I'm playing through the season as Notre Dame. While I love the school that rejected me, I have to be honest about their BRUTAL schedule. The season begins @ #25 Pitt, then @ #4 Michigan, MSU, @ Washington, @ #16 Purdue, followed by a week off and then #1 (and unstoppable) USC comes to South Bend (I used the USA Today Pre-Season Rankings). Looking at the first six games, no matter how good Charlie Weis is/will be as a coach, he'll be lucky to have the team 1-5 by the time BYU comes to South Bend in late October (They can't BUY a home game in the first two months?! Geez!). With a home game at #3 Tennessee following the BYU game, we'll see how much love Weis gets when ND is 2-6 in mid-November... with no hope of a bowl game in sight. I hope the ND fans will be patient, realize Rome wasn't built in a day (it was built at night [what?!]), and let Weis build the program with a hard-fought, losing season this year. Best case scenario, Weis could have ND 3-3 after the USC game (beating Pitt, MSU, and Washington), but I doubt it. The battle for the megaphone always brings MSUs second-best effort of the season (sometimes best when they lose terribly to Michigan)... the new Ty Willingham Huskies will be hungry to destroy the school/team that didn't give him a fair enough chance... and we'll see whether Dave Wannstedt or Weis make the transition from pros to college better in the Pitt game. Notre Dame could be 0-6 when they play BYU and I wouldn't be surprised. That is a tough schedule for them... and I hope ND fans are prepared for the crap that will come with that schedule.

Scrimmage/Fireworks
While I am CERTAINLY glad I went to see the Packers/Bills scrimmage Friday night, I don't know if I'd do it again. Here's the scoop. It was announced over the loud-speaker that "this series" would be a Packers kick-off... a Bills side-line only return (no tackling), followed by the Bills starting at the 35 (regardless of where the returner was tackled) and have a minimum of nine plays with the first-team offense against the Packers' first-team defense. Follow that? Good... because after 9 plays the Bills kicked off and the Pack's first-team offense had nine plays against the Bills' first-team defense. They did goal-line situations, they did onside kick situations, they had the coaches standing on the field while they were playing... it was like being in middle school all over again.
What made this trip amazing (besides the fact that I was in Lambeau Field!!! Hooray!), was the fireworks display. After the scrimmage, they turned all the lights off... and 62,000 people sat together in the dark for the minute it took for the display to start. If you've never been with 62,000 other people in the dark, I recommend doing it at least once. The huge crowd was quiet in anticipation of the display... and it was magic. The display was good (I've seen better) but there was something about the place, the music, and the shear amount of people in the stadium that made it the greatest fireworks display I've ever seen. It was awesome.
NCAA Bans American Indian Mascots
I read here that the NCAA has placed a ban on the use of Native American mascots in college football. Saying that this is about time is one of the greatest understatements I've ever made. I've been saying for years that it's ridiculous that we still have names like 'Braves', 'Seminoles', and, the worst, 'Redskins.' I'm happy to see the ban... but I wonder what Illinois mascot will be. I hope they have a naming contest. Get ready for the University of Illinois Fightin' Honkys! Too soon?
I do wonder if something will be said about the appropriateness of the Fightin' Irish mascot... but I'm Irish and don't find it offensive. I love Notre Dame... even though they rejected me. Makes sense, though, as I have often love women who reject me. Even some who reject me for four years at a time.
Football Tonight
Tonight is the Bears/Dolphins Hall Of Fame game from Canton, Ohio. I'm insanely interested in this game, considering it's a pre-season game. Ricky Williams will play tonight for the first time in over a year. I want to see him carry the ball... I want to see how well he'll run... I want to see how hard he's hit. I can't wait. Don't get me wrong, I'm in Ricky's corner... I actually really want him to do well. I hear he might be shopped around... perhaps a trade in the works to get rid of Ricky. I look for him to perhaps stay in Ohio (Cleveland needs a running-back and might be desperate enough to make the trade) (or he could go to Oakland... they'll take anyone). I want to see how Nick Saban coaches in the NFL... and see if he's any good. I'm also very interested to see the Bears play. I will, whether I want to or not, be watching a lot of Bears games this season. It's my hope that they've got some good, young players... to make watching them play interesting. If not, it could be another long football season here in Chicago.
Ty Law lands in New York
I see that Ty Law just got signed by the Jets. Law, a great cornerback even at age 31 (he went to a fine institution [that was for James P]), will more than likely start in place of Ray Mickens--another aging cornerback. I really have nothing much to say about this move, as I could care less about the Jets (sorry Brandon Bartlett Blackburn-Dwyer)... but I hope that Law will mentor second-year man Derrick Strait, whom could eventually be pretty good in this league.
Wayne Gretzky to be the new Coyotes Coach
I saw this morning that "The Great One" is going to be the next coach of the Phoenix Coyotes. I wonder if this will be the same type of result when Magic Johnson tried coaching (where he went 5-11 in '94 in a joke of a coaching move). I understand why Gretzky would want to try coaching, but I don't think he'll make a good coach. I just don't see him as a smart enough man. I see him as someone who had a whole lot of talent and knew how to use his own talent to maximize his own potential. HOWEVER, having said all that, in this new, scoring-happy NHL that the league has created, Gretzky might be able to figure out how to get his scorers to get the most out of the new rules. I'll be interested to see how well the Coyotes do this year (I think it could be better than recent years no matter who coaches, with their off-season additions). In a related story, former ESPN TV announcer Darren Pang has signed to be the Coyotes exclusive TV color analyst. Weird, huh? It's phuking Phoenix... who cares about hockey there?
Osgood Back to Detroit
Chris Osgood just resigned with the Red Wings for a one-year contract. I remember WAY back (sort of) when Osgood was the back-up to Mike Vernon and--like back-up quarterbacks in college football--I thought Osgood could do better. Then Osgood got his chance and lead the Wings to the Cup in '98. I've always liked Osgood and his weird goalie mask... but I can't see him doing anything more than bench-warming. Still, it will be good to have him back... as maybe he'll pull retired Patrick Roy out of the stands and pummel the snot out of him. One can dream.
The NHL Reinstates Todd Bertuzzi
A year-and-a-half after he blindsided Avalanche player Steve Moore, Todd Bertuzzi is back in the NHL today. My guess is that he will remain thugish... and I will remain my vocal hatred of this Neanderthalic player. I'd like to see him try that crap on Stevie Y... and end up out for the rest of the season like Pronger did a few years back (remember that? Pronger went after Yzerman, who ducked, and Pronger ended up blowing an ACL. Hilarious).

A Short F--king History of Vulgar Words and Gestures
In her live journal, my friend Katy has wondered what makes a word a cuss word. Additionally, she mused on what made the middle finger THE bad finger. The consummate student, I decided to investigate those questions myself.
It seems the middle finger goes back to Greek times. Being the longest finger, the middle finger became equated with the phallus (*sigh* Men!). As such, giving someone the finger became equated with phallic dominance or hostility. There is even record of one Greek playwright, Aristophanes, using it in his plays... and according to this website, the term "flipping the bird" came from his play The Clouds. When the Romans took everything from the Greeks, they also got the middle finger, so to speak. The rest, as they say, is history.
And you'll notice (as I have) as we continue talking about cuss words that most relate to sex, sexual organs, or defecation. The "F" word, the big D, co*k, cu*t, pu**y, sh*t, and a** all fall under these categories. Notice, also, that none of the sex related cuss words are the medical, technical term for the part or act. All medical words are safe from being cuss words.
If we explore the "B" words, we find that both of them are a derogatory put-down. One word equates women with dogs, the other relates to the one-time ultimate shame of having a child out of wedlock. Damn and Hell both have religious connotations, and are linked in my mind as being both related ("Damn-it-all to Hell") and tame. I believe these two words carried more force back when religion was more prevalent.
That brings me to another point. I would argue that a lot of these words are considered cuss words because of the people I would describe as the "religious right." Think the same people who believe that anything relating to sex should be talked about behind closed doors with the blinds drawn. These are the people who thought there could be no greater embarrassment than having everyone know that you had sex before you were married (they would know because you had a child).
Two more things about the above list. First, most of those words can be used in a derogatory way to describe a person ("damn" and "hell" being the exceptions). Secondly, they all end in a hard consonant. This has nothing to do with anything, except for the fact that I have a theory that cuss words are partially cuss words because of the punch they give at the end! I mean, when one hits oneself with a hammer on one's thumb, one loves to use the expletive "SHIT!" because of the punch of the word. Uhh! It feels so good! And it's one syllable... easy to say quickly. What a good word!
I feel like "bitch" is kind of the anomaly to the above list. It doesn't fall into the same categories as many of the other words. I think it's had a rise in popularity over the past thirty years, however, because of its equation with a "strong-willed woman" and the gender revolution that was the woman's movement.
I have also successfully avoided talking about the dreaded "N" word. Its etymology just stems from an alteration of the French and Spanish words for a black person. I think this word has an air of superiority that most of these words carry... but which the word, realistically, no longer carries. This word would have died in the twentieth century if not for the South and for rappers. My guess is that this word will die in the twenty-first century. This section would also include all other derogatory words for other ethnicities... but most of these words are just offensive and tactless, rather than being something one really thinks of as a cuss.
Katy then mused on her page as to what other new words might be considered cuss words. I have compiled a very short list of possibilities for what might ascend the ranks into the BAD words. Here it is: 1) "Cracker". As the years pass, white people will become less and less the majority in this country, until they're the minority. Not only is cracker a derogatory word for a group that is hated now and will be hated AND a minority later, it carries with it an air of poverty AND it's a quick, punchy word. If it's not "cracker," some other word will become what us white folk are called to our faces by those groups that are now the majority. 2) Something religious. I wish I could be more specific here, but I can't. I have a feeling, though, as the US government gets more and more religious, you'll see a back-lash against it. Something like "zealot" might be a nice punchy word that one could use in a derogatory way to describe a political opponent (although we already do). 3) Spanish, Chinese, or Japanese cuss words. In the series Firefly, all the swear words are Japanese because of the assimilation of other languages. Especially considering the shear amount of Hispanics who will be living in the United States in the future, I fully expect some form of Spanish cuss words to work their way into American vernacular. Some form of "blanca" for white people, for example, is a possibility. 4) Phuk. My own invented alteration of the big F will become huge when I get famous. No? Don't buy it? Fair enough.
The fact of the matter is that our BIG cuss words have been "naughty" for centuries... so it will take decades before something could be added to that list. Was that fun or what? No? Well, phuk you then!

Green Bay and Scrimmage Weekend!
Hey all... I'm sitting in my apartment, waiting for my family to come pick me up. We're headed up to GB this weekend to see the Packer's Family Night. The Pack are playing a scrimmage against the Buffalo Bills. I look forward to seeing how close to a pre-season game a scrimmage really is.
Additionally, Pre-season officially starts tomorrow with the American Bowl from Tokyo. We'll see Michael Vick versus Peyton Manning... for about ten snaps. And then we'll see them on the bench. Exciting, huh? No? Don't blame you...
I also spent some time today thinking about whether or not I could actually have played football. I mean, for reals. And I don't think I could have. It's not that I don't have the mind for the game... I certainly understand it. It's not necessarily that I don't have the talent, either. I'm fairly quick, have pretty good hands, and could be strong enough with a proper commitment to training. I think my problem has always been my temperament. When I play football, I'm happy! It's a fun game and I love it. I can't translate that into anything but a playful competition with friends or acquaintances. In the end, I just can't hate anyone while I'm playing football. I can be ticked at myself... but I can't be angry enough to be one of the brutish men who play football well. Just my thoughts...
Also in sports news, I see that Chelios and Schneider both resigned with the Wings. Dande-wuss is gone... boo-hoo to that. I see he signed with Montreal, where his slightly effeminate nature will blend right in with the French Canadians. Good for him. And good for the Blackhawks, who signed Nikoli Khabibulin and, gasp, Martin LaPointe! My one-time hated Martin LaPointe for making Laura love him so... I will now get to see him play this season for around $10 a ticket?! Nice. The Blackhawks also signed Matthew Barnaby last season... he being one of my favorite, gritty role-type players. Could I possibly be, gasp again, excited to see a Blackhawks game this season?! Possibly. Lest anyone think the game has past by the 32-year-old Khabibulin, don't forget that he was the last Stanley Cup winning goalie. Yeah. So take that.

What's Your Poison?
During one of my becoming more and more frequent daydreams about teaching, I asked a popular question which I have been asked multiple times: "Why do you write?" I asked my imaginary class. "The answer," I said, "should be: 'I write because I must'."
Now I have heard that question asked, like I said, multiple times... but only recently have I known the answer given above to be the "correct" answer. Before my writing revolution, I used to bottle things up inside. I used to look at the hand extended from a friend, scoff, and say "You can't help me... you don't know what it's like." And then I'd sit on whatever it was that was bothering me, allowing it to incubate, until it hatched into some emotional explosion where I thrashed out indiscriminately at whomever happened to be closest to me at the time. And then I found writing. Or, rather, writing found me. Writing and I met eyes across a crowded, smoky bar. I turned back to the bar to grab my drink and go over, but when I turned back I found Writing had left. But then I saw that Writing had left her seat to come up to the bar closer to me.
"What's your poison?" Writing asked me.
"Arsenic" I replied. I was very naive.
Writing giggled. "You're funny."
"Thanks," I said.
"I haven't seen you around," Writing said, "are you new around here?"
"Yeah... but I think I'll be around pretty often from now on." And then I was. I wrote when I had to... I wrote when I forced myself to... I wrote skits, poems, anything I could think of... and here I am: in a much better place mentally than when I moved to Chicago. In a way, I feel horribly behind, as if everyone else started this writing race when they were born, and I'm twenty-two years behind them. That's when I realize that life's not a race... or, if it is, it's about the actual trail and not the finish line. Then I realize that I hate those metaphors, and that is the type of bullshit that people who lose their whole life tell you. Winners know it's about winning, not about what the grass looks like as you're running past it.
I'm sidetracked. What was my point? Ah yes. My point is that, even in times when I've felt like no one knows what I'm going through or, better yet, no one could POSSIBLY understand what I'm going through, I now turn to writing. I don't need to show it to anyone, I just need to realize that, when I write, I'm writing to the one person who DOES get it... who ALWAYS understands what I'm going through. Because, at those times, I'm writing to me.

311's New Album
On August 16th, 311's eighth major studio album hits stores. As I have grown so, too, has my favorite band from Omaha, Nebraska. I fell in love with their self-titled album while listening to it scores of times while doing math homework in high school. Transistor mellowed me out when I leaped head-first into my "hard rock/death metal/I'll never be happy" music phase (which some would argue that I'm still in), and became a favorite 'drive-around' tape for my car. Soundsystem arrived at college almost the same time that I did... and it's positive no-matter-what lyrics made it quickly my favorite album. "No matter how hard college is", the album seemed to say, "you'll be just fine." From Chaos hit me in a time when I needed support, right after Amie and I had broken up. It's song, "You Wouldn't Believe" seemed to be written just for me (and is still probably my favorite 311 song). "And he's got a head full of ideas" it said. "And he's got a heart made of pure gold," it continued, "You might think he's a jester because he'll make you laugh til' you cry... Better come with your best if you test him, Unless you're ready to die." Hell yes! I thought... they're talking about ME! A song like "I Told Myself" told me to be strong and not give into the temptation of calling Amie and begging for her to come back... and songs like "I'll Be Here Awhile," "Champagne," and "Uncalm" have become favorites of mine to sing to the ladies to get them into an amorous mood. And, like more divine intervention, Evolver was released at one of the low points in my history--the summer of '03. Having just graduated with no plans and just been dumped big time, Evolver told me that because my life "Seems Uncertain," I should "Reconsider Everything" and look "Beyond the Grey Sky." Frankly, with my life the way it is now, I'm looking forward to seeing if the rude boys from Omaha, Nebraska can work their magic one more time.
Hey... anyone seen my Omaha Sessions CD? I seem to have misplaced it.

Major NBA Trade
The largest trade in NBA history, 13 players on five teams, was announced last night. As a public service to you, the casual fan, I will now explain the trade with some of that infamous "Crazytary." Now, short of going straight to ESPN.com, one cannot get a straight line of who got whom and what got where. Yes, it's just that confusing. Here we go with the winners and losers in this historic trade:
JAZZ: (In Techni-Color? Yeah... I'm trying something new. Sue me) Acquire Greg Ostertag (MEM); Lose Borchardt, Lopez, and Snyder.
The Jazz are clearly the bitch of this trade. Giving up the young point guard Lopez (who I think will be an above average player when healthy), the second-year guard Snyder (the jury's still out on Kirk), and the young 7'0" Center Borchardt (whose numbers do not impress, but 7 feet tall or above always translates into playing time in the NBA regardless of how un-athletic that man happens to be) in exchange for the ancient Ostertag is a joke. Ostertag, frankly, is a joke in and of himself... and was indicative in the late 90s of everything I didn't like about the Jazz--slow, lumbering, unexciting basketball. But, like I said before, height will get you playing time in the NBA, regardless of whether or not you deserve it. In this instance, height will get the Jazz an average of 20 minutes per game from Ostertag. Trade Grade: D-
HORNETS: Acquire Rasual Butler (MIA), and Kirk Snyder (UTA); Lose draft rights to Duenas.
The Hornets, very quietly, got a very good deal. They acquired two young players in exchange for a player, Duenas, who was drafted in 1997 by the Bulls, traded in 2001 to the Hornets, and who never put on a Hornet uniform. They, essentially, got two players for nothing. As I said before, the jury's still out on Snyder... who didn't impress nor necessarily disappoint in his rookie season with the Jazz. But I have been impressed with Butler, particularly in this past season with the Heat. Could that be the presence of Shaq in the middle making everyone else better? It's certainly possible. But Butler's scoring (especially from three-point range where he shot nearly 38% last season) make me think that he is capable of producing bigger numbers when not having to come off the bench. While we're going to have to wait and see how well Butler and Snyder do... I definitely think they got a good deal by doing almost nothing. Trade Grade: B
CELTICS: Acquire Qyntel Woods, the draft rights to Albert Miralles, two second round picks (MIA), and Curtis Borchardt (UTA); Lose Walker.
While we might scold the Celtics for giving up Antoine Walker, it is obvious that the Celts are in one of those "transition" phases we hear so much about. Walker, a three-time All-Star, was drafted way back in 1996... and, while he still has some time to make an impact with the Heat, the Celtics got a lot in return. A lot of talent? I didn't say that. We've already talked about the height that Borchardt will bring, regardless of whether or not he's any good. Miralles, a Spaniard, has been playing in Italy for the past three years, and smacks to me of the kind of European talent that all the teams are trying to find. Unfortunately, a lot of that talent isn't very talented (Hint: Darko... sorry, I love ya, but honestly). We also have Woods, who is so good that he got waived by the Trailblazers last year before Miami picked him up. The Trailblazers? They'll let anybody play... this does not look good. Add to this pool of... players (didn't want to say talent) are two second round, who-gives-a-phuk picks. Basically? Not impressed by the Celtics haul on this one. Trade Grade: C-
GRIZZLIES: Acquire Eddie Jones (MIA), Raul Lopez (UTA); Lose Williams, Posey, Emmett, Ostertag.
Memphis got the most unusual end of this deal. Sending big names Williams and Posey, and getting a lesser point guard and an older guard/forward in return. Perhaps we need to remember Williams' blow-up at a reporter at the end of this past season to see why the brilliant Jerry West pulled the trigger on this deal. In trading Williams for Jones, West got IMAGE. We shouldn't forget that West traded away trouble-maker Bonzi Wells earlier this off-season to get the classy and talented Bobby Jackson from Sacramento. West may have lost pure talent, but he's gaining classy individuals like Jackson and Jones. These are two guys who "play the right way" as Larry Brown would say. I think the worst part about this deal, however, is the loss of James Posey. I've had a love affair with Mr. Posey since he was the best player on those AWFUL Nuggets teams (pre-Carmello). As your go-to guy, Posey can't carry a team... but as a role player, Posey is a pure gem... shooting nearly 42% from the field over his career. While Jones and Lopez will be nice, quiet, respectful additions to the Memphis organization, the loss of talent and of Posey is too much to give this a better grade. Trade Grade: B+
HEAT: Acquire Antoine Walker (BOS), Jason Williams, James Posey, and Andre Emmett (MEM), the draft rights to Roberto Duenas (NO); Lose Jones, Woods, Butler, draft rights to Miralles, and two second round picks.
The Heat got the big names, that's true. The Heat got the talent, that's also true. Did the Heat get the right pieces? I'm not so convinced. The Heat got rid of old talent (Jones) but also lost young talent (Butler). Did they make up for the loss of young talent with Emmett? Not hardly. Emmett played a whopping EIGHT games last season, averaging 3.5 minutes per. Duenas, as we've said, is a complete non-factor. So, in essence, the Heat traded winning later for winning now. Not a bad idea, however, with Shaq getting up there in age. Walker will be almost a perfect compliment to Shaq with his height and outside shooting. I can also foresee unselfish Superstar Dwayne Wade passing the ball up to Walker, rather than forcing something up himself. With Shaq's presence in the middle and Wade's ability to slash to the basket, Walker can park himself at the three-point line and shoot threes all day long, if he'd like (and he probably will). Posey, as I've mentioned earlier, will be the surprise addition to the Heat. He'll be better than expected... not necessarily in numbers, but in the way he fits into the team. I expect him to become, perhaps, a defensive specialist in the Bruce Bowen mold... using most of his energy on defense and waiting at the three-point line to get his shots (which will go in as often as Bowen's). Here's what I don't get: Jason Williams. I'm not at all sure where he fits in on the Heat. If he's there to only pass the ball, then he fits in perfectly. But that's not the Williams I've come to know. I can see him imploding because of the Miami nightlife... I can see him exploding in arguments with new teammate Walker (both "hot headed" guys)... and I could see him being crushed under the media's constant pressure, as he is now the primary ball-handler on the team which will be the NBA Championship favorites. I am tempted to give this trade an A+ based on everything else, but I'm not convinced that Jason Williams is the point guard that Miami was looking for. Trade Grade: A

Overshadowed NHL Player Movement
Under the heavy shadow of the NBA trades, MLB pennant races, and NFL mini-camps, the NHL's players are moving around like Kansas mobile homes during tornado season. All-Star defenseman Chris Pronger was traded to Edmonton for three younger defensemen (Eric Brewer being the only one of note as far as I'm concerned). Pronger is 30, and this is another All-Star age/for youth trade... although I don't know why Edmonton thinks they should load up to make a run. Saying that, though, I guess this year's Cup is anyone's guess. Why not, Edmonton?!
In the "WHA?" category, Adam Foote--formerly of Team Bastard--signed with the Columbus Blue Jackets. Yeah. Your guess is as good as mine there.
In a "God bless them, the Penguins are actually going to try this season" move, Pittsburgh signed scoring defenseman Sergei Gonchar to a five-year deal. Good for Pittsburgh... I'd like to see them do well this year. Screw Nashville.
My heart sank, though, with news of other signings. The Flyers signed Darrien Hatcher from the Wings (as well as Mike Rathje from the Sharks) ending his very short tenure with the Wings. That didn't make me feel nearly as bad as this: Darren McCarty signed with the Calgary Flames. A member of Detroit's famous "Grind Line," McCarty will always be inextricably linked in my mind with a hard-working, gritty Detroit tenacity. I will always remember the playoff goal, while being hooked, that sent him spinning--arms in the air in exaltation--against (God, I hope it was) Patrick Roy. McCarty's departure marks the beginning of the end of an era for me, personally... I see Yzerman inked to stay in Detroit. When I lose him, I will weep.