SPORTS Feel Good Story Of The Year... Read This Even If You Don't Like Sports
It's the way we all dream it: it's your senior year in high school. You've been involved with your high school basketball team all year because you were the "Team Manager" (giving players towels or water, doing laundry... that sort of thing). It's the final home game of your high school career, so your coach lets you actually suit up. You sit on the bench in uniform the entire game against a divisional foe for the division championship--which turns out to be a blow-out in your team's favor. As such, with four minutes left to play in the game, the coach actually decides to put you in! You're in the game! Now's your chance to shine! You can't wait to take that first shot and, when you do, you miss the basket completely by about six feet. But you will not waiver... you've got resolve and determination... so when the ball comes to you again you shoot a three and hit it. You take another three and hit that, too! Now you're in the zone and you start raining threes... and the crowd is going absolutely insane! Cheerleaders are jumping up and down... the crowd is ready to explode every time you touch the ball... you realize that a mother of another player actually had a picture of your face printed onto a cardboard cutout and she passed out dozens of them, so an entire section of the stands is holding up masks of YOUR FACE! You! The Team Manager! And, as the game ends, the stands empty and the crowd carries you off with all kinds of congratulations, praise, and hugs. When the dust settles you've scored 20 points in less than four minutes--hitting six threes and a seventh shot with your foot on the line.
Sounds like a pretty good story, doesn't it? Something right out of Hollywood. It's actually something right out of Rochester, New York... and the "you" is high school senior Jason McElwain. If you haven't seen video of this story, the best place I've seen for it is here. The CBS story is pretty good. If nothing else, it's worth seeing the video just to see the crowd going absolutely bananas! Everyone in the stands jumps at the same time whenever he makes a basket.
Oh, by the way, Jason McElwain--the "you" from the story--is autistic. Read his story again.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
PERSONAL Song Gets Ripped Apart One Week Too Late
Thursday evening was my last Conservatory class... e-var! As such, it was the last chance we'll have to put up new things in class and get Norm to see them so he'll put them in the show. Things went pretty swimmingly until the end of class, when Norm wanted to talk about one of my songs. Last week, I had two songs in the show: "Race To Win" a rock ballad that Thomas and I wrote about cliched sports sayings; and a song I like to call "Filthy Arabs." Now I know the title is offensive, that's part of the point. The point of the song is that American's of all races have been blanketly racist and just plain ignorant towards Middle Easterners since September the eleventh of 2001. It's a peppy, upbeat tune which I wanted to juxtapose against the vile racism of all the characters (which basically consist of my Conservatory class playing themselves). I, unabashedly, claim that we should "ethnically cleanse the Middle East" during the chorus... and everyone else thinks that's a great idea and then they sing along.
Well, needless to say, the song bombed this past Monday night when we performed it. The audience seemed like they didn't know how to respond... and Jen, the wife of my friend Matt, said that listening to the song was like having someone put a burning cross on your front yard (which I secretly loved hearing [I'm crazy!]). Yes I could say that the song bombed was due to lack of preparation OR I could just as easily say it was due to lack of singing talent... but I think a lot of it was that my ideas weren't fully flushed out. I had a couple good verses like the one about having to "walk my fat, lazy ass" without the Middle Eastern oil/gas (easy rhyme, I know)... but most of the other verses were rhymes I could get to fit in the meter, rather than fully flushed out ideas. I kept waiting for someone to say "I think what you're trying to say here is this" and then giving me feedback, but they didn't. I thank one member of the cast, Matthew, for telling me that he had reservations about his verse. He told me the night OF the performance, but at least he told me beforehand.
But, tonight, Norm started discussing the song as if someone had talked to him about being personally offended by my song. This did upset me a little, but when you stick your neck out, it is more likely to get cut (what?). Regardless, tonight--a month and a half after I sent the song to Norm and performed it for my class (in class... I had to sing it all by myself--scary! Especially since I didn't know whether they'd get it or beat me with sticks)--we FINALLY looked over the actual lyrics and made changes. At first I thought I was upset (could have cried, not going to lie) because we made SO MANY changes to the lyrics and, as such, the song doesn't really say what I wanted it to say anymore. But that's not the reason I'm upset. I'm upset because I kept asking people--begging people--to tell me if they had a problem with the song. "The song won't work," I said at least a dozen times, "unless everyone is comfortable with what it's saying." And, not only did they not tell me, they let me put it UP in front of a PAYING audience before telling me that they weren't comfortable with it. I was so mad at my class afterwards... argh!
Coincidentally, the song is now more about "We're Americans and we're mad and we don't know who to be mad at, so we'll be mad at anyone who's not us"... which is still an okay thing to say--but I wanted this song to say to everyone who heard it "Remember how you treated every Middle Eastern person you've met in the past 5 years? Let's just all come out and admit that we we prejudged them and were racist towards them! Come on! Who's coming with me?" Needless to say, I'm not all that excited about performing this song anymore. At least I still have "Race To Win"... Puttin' it to the top!
Thursday evening was my last Conservatory class... e-var! As such, it was the last chance we'll have to put up new things in class and get Norm to see them so he'll put them in the show. Things went pretty swimmingly until the end of class, when Norm wanted to talk about one of my songs. Last week, I had two songs in the show: "Race To Win" a rock ballad that Thomas and I wrote about cliched sports sayings; and a song I like to call "Filthy Arabs." Now I know the title is offensive, that's part of the point. The point of the song is that American's of all races have been blanketly racist and just plain ignorant towards Middle Easterners since September the eleventh of 2001. It's a peppy, upbeat tune which I wanted to juxtapose against the vile racism of all the characters (which basically consist of my Conservatory class playing themselves). I, unabashedly, claim that we should "ethnically cleanse the Middle East" during the chorus... and everyone else thinks that's a great idea and then they sing along.
Well, needless to say, the song bombed this past Monday night when we performed it. The audience seemed like they didn't know how to respond... and Jen, the wife of my friend Matt, said that listening to the song was like having someone put a burning cross on your front yard (which I secretly loved hearing [I'm crazy!]). Yes I could say that the song bombed was due to lack of preparation OR I could just as easily say it was due to lack of singing talent... but I think a lot of it was that my ideas weren't fully flushed out. I had a couple good verses like the one about having to "walk my fat, lazy ass" without the Middle Eastern oil/gas (easy rhyme, I know)... but most of the other verses were rhymes I could get to fit in the meter, rather than fully flushed out ideas. I kept waiting for someone to say "I think what you're trying to say here is this" and then giving me feedback, but they didn't. I thank one member of the cast, Matthew, for telling me that he had reservations about his verse. He told me the night OF the performance, but at least he told me beforehand.
But, tonight, Norm started discussing the song as if someone had talked to him about being personally offended by my song. This did upset me a little, but when you stick your neck out, it is more likely to get cut (what?). Regardless, tonight--a month and a half after I sent the song to Norm and performed it for my class (in class... I had to sing it all by myself--scary! Especially since I didn't know whether they'd get it or beat me with sticks)--we FINALLY looked over the actual lyrics and made changes. At first I thought I was upset (could have cried, not going to lie) because we made SO MANY changes to the lyrics and, as such, the song doesn't really say what I wanted it to say anymore. But that's not the reason I'm upset. I'm upset because I kept asking people--begging people--to tell me if they had a problem with the song. "The song won't work," I said at least a dozen times, "unless everyone is comfortable with what it's saying." And, not only did they not tell me, they let me put it UP in front of a PAYING audience before telling me that they weren't comfortable with it. I was so mad at my class afterwards... argh!
Coincidentally, the song is now more about "We're Americans and we're mad and we don't know who to be mad at, so we'll be mad at anyone who's not us"... which is still an okay thing to say--but I wanted this song to say to everyone who heard it "Remember how you treated every Middle Eastern person you've met in the past 5 years? Let's just all come out and admit that we we prejudged them and were racist towards them! Come on! Who's coming with me?" Needless to say, I'm not all that excited about performing this song anymore. At least I still have "Race To Win"... Puttin' it to the top!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
PERSONAL Good-Bye Old Reliable
Ever since I moved to Chicago, two things have remained a constant retreat--a mini vacation, if you will--allowing me to escape any and everything going wrong. The first was my large picture wall--the entrance to my apartment--which was loaded with pictures from Big Rapids and Albion. When times were hard, right after moving to Chicago, I would spend time putting more pictures up... or just looking at them and remembering easier, happier times. The wall was a safe haven for me, and a way to surround myself with familiar faces when their were only new ones around me.
My other haven was, of course, my car. Having it with me in the city meant I could leave whenever I wanted. If things really REALLY got hard, I could put myself in my car and drive away--getting the rest of my stuff later. Or, if things were just kind of hard, I could head to a suburb for the day or head back to Michigan for the weekend.
But the times they are a changin. As I look to move from my apartment to Chelsey's (first of April), my picture wall is going to have to come down. And, as such, if pictures start coming off the wall on their own I'm just pulling them down instead of trying to put them back up. This past weekend I'll pulled two more pictures down. I must have pulled a dozen or so pictures down by now, and my entry way is starting to look a little sad. What was a wall of pictures is now a wall with pictures scattered on it.
Additionally, in the six years I've had my car, the only problem I've had is an annual breaking of the right side mirror (I'm on mirror number four?). However, recently, I've had more and more serious problems. In November, as I was loading up my car to head home for Thanksgiving, I noticed my keyless entry "remote" wasn't working. When I hopped into my car, completely packed for the extended weekend, I was unable to turn my car on. I had a dead battery! But it wasn't from leaving a light on or anything... it was just completely sans electricity. Thankfully I have Triple A, so they came (three hours later) and jumped my car for me. When I got back to BR, the car dealer correctly diagnosed my battery as "bad" and I had to get a new one.
The next time I tried to go home, in December, I couldn't start my car again. Again I was totally packed, but this time it didn't seem like the battery. My car showed me the "security" idiot light and I had to look it up in my manual to see what that meant. My car has a security feature wherein, if it doesn't sense the correct key, it won't allow gasoline into the engine thereby not allowing the engine to turnover. Makes sense... and is a cool feature, if it works. When the owner of the vehicle can't start their own car with the correct key, there's a problem. I WAS able to start the car with a different key (thankfully I have like three keys), and head home for the holidays. Well, $400 some-odd later, I shouldn't ever have that problem again.
Now for the newest problem. This Saturday was one of the coldest in recent Chicago history. It was a bitter, biting cold... and Chelsey had an afternoon rehearsal up North of me quite a way. Since I don't do anything useful normally, I suggested that I drive her to rehearsal. When we got to my car, it didn't want to start (that's how cold it was)... but it did. Unfortunately, the heater did not start. That's not entirely accurate. My fan is broken... so no heat or cold will ever make it into the cab of the vehicle until I get it fixed. I felt so bad... because Chelsey was shaking cold all the way up to rehearsal (and all the way back after rehearsal). I also feel bad for her because, in the week since it broke, I have to drive with a window down to keep the windows from frosting over. It works, don't get me wrong... it would probably be dangerous if the window wasn't down... but Chelsey just sits there and freezes while I'm cold but not too uncomfortable. So I HAVE to get it fixed... but who knows how expensive that will be--or when I'll be able to get to a good dealership to get it fixed. *Huge sigh* My car used to be indestructible... but now it's starting to show its age. Just like me.
TV Jonny Moseley On SNL... Worst. Host. Ever.
Wednesday afternoon, I was flipping through channels to find something to put on whilst working on the computer. I was both fortunate and unfortunate enough to land on E! for an episode of Saturday Night Live. I've seen some pretty bad shows, thanks to some really out of place hosts, but Moseley showed the personality of a corpse. I mean, I saw the Senator McCain show in 2002 and McCain did about a million times better--that's not saying much. I just remember McCain at least having a lot of enthusiasm for it. But for Moseley, they even wrote a scene "Super Buzzers" that had the host say about three lines... and even those didn't come out well.
So what do you think, kiddies? Who's the worst SNL host of all time? Bohne, I'm directing this question to you... as you might be the only person who could talk about this with any authority.
Ever since I moved to Chicago, two things have remained a constant retreat--a mini vacation, if you will--allowing me to escape any and everything going wrong. The first was my large picture wall--the entrance to my apartment--which was loaded with pictures from Big Rapids and Albion. When times were hard, right after moving to Chicago, I would spend time putting more pictures up... or just looking at them and remembering easier, happier times. The wall was a safe haven for me, and a way to surround myself with familiar faces when their were only new ones around me.
My other haven was, of course, my car. Having it with me in the city meant I could leave whenever I wanted. If things really REALLY got hard, I could put myself in my car and drive away--getting the rest of my stuff later. Or, if things were just kind of hard, I could head to a suburb for the day or head back to Michigan for the weekend.
But the times they are a changin. As I look to move from my apartment to Chelsey's (first of April), my picture wall is going to have to come down. And, as such, if pictures start coming off the wall on their own I'm just pulling them down instead of trying to put them back up. This past weekend I'll pulled two more pictures down. I must have pulled a dozen or so pictures down by now, and my entry way is starting to look a little sad. What was a wall of pictures is now a wall with pictures scattered on it.
Additionally, in the six years I've had my car, the only problem I've had is an annual breaking of the right side mirror (I'm on mirror number four?). However, recently, I've had more and more serious problems. In November, as I was loading up my car to head home for Thanksgiving, I noticed my keyless entry "remote" wasn't working. When I hopped into my car, completely packed for the extended weekend, I was unable to turn my car on. I had a dead battery! But it wasn't from leaving a light on or anything... it was just completely sans electricity. Thankfully I have Triple A, so they came (three hours later) and jumped my car for me. When I got back to BR, the car dealer correctly diagnosed my battery as "bad" and I had to get a new one.
The next time I tried to go home, in December, I couldn't start my car again. Again I was totally packed, but this time it didn't seem like the battery. My car showed me the "security" idiot light and I had to look it up in my manual to see what that meant. My car has a security feature wherein, if it doesn't sense the correct key, it won't allow gasoline into the engine thereby not allowing the engine to turnover. Makes sense... and is a cool feature, if it works. When the owner of the vehicle can't start their own car with the correct key, there's a problem. I WAS able to start the car with a different key (thankfully I have like three keys), and head home for the holidays. Well, $400 some-odd later, I shouldn't ever have that problem again.
Now for the newest problem. This Saturday was one of the coldest in recent Chicago history. It was a bitter, biting cold... and Chelsey had an afternoon rehearsal up North of me quite a way. Since I don't do anything useful normally, I suggested that I drive her to rehearsal. When we got to my car, it didn't want to start (that's how cold it was)... but it did. Unfortunately, the heater did not start. That's not entirely accurate. My fan is broken... so no heat or cold will ever make it into the cab of the vehicle until I get it fixed. I felt so bad... because Chelsey was shaking cold all the way up to rehearsal (and all the way back after rehearsal). I also feel bad for her because, in the week since it broke, I have to drive with a window down to keep the windows from frosting over. It works, don't get me wrong... it would probably be dangerous if the window wasn't down... but Chelsey just sits there and freezes while I'm cold but not too uncomfortable. So I HAVE to get it fixed... but who knows how expensive that will be--or when I'll be able to get to a good dealership to get it fixed. *Huge sigh* My car used to be indestructible... but now it's starting to show its age. Just like me.
TV Jonny Moseley On SNL... Worst. Host. Ever.
Wednesday afternoon, I was flipping through channels to find something to put on whilst working on the computer. I was both fortunate and unfortunate enough to land on E! for an episode of Saturday Night Live. I've seen some pretty bad shows, thanks to some really out of place hosts, but Moseley showed the personality of a corpse. I mean, I saw the Senator McCain show in 2002 and McCain did about a million times better--that's not saying much. I just remember McCain at least having a lot of enthusiasm for it. But for Moseley, they even wrote a scene "Super Buzzers" that had the host say about three lines... and even those didn't come out well.
So what do you think, kiddies? Who's the worst SNL host of all time? Bohne, I'm directing this question to you... as you might be the only person who could talk about this with any authority.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
SPORTS USA Women's Hockey Gets A Scare Against Finland
Valentine's Day, I watched the entire USA/Finland hockey game. Yes, the final score was 7-3 USA... but if you just see the final score, you don't know the whole story. Finland scored 13 seconds into the game off a stupid turnover in the USA zone (one of the US players tried to pass across the ice from behind her own goal... tsk tsk). As such, down 1-0 in the first 13 seconds, the US players played tight. They looked nervous... and the Finnish players were all over the ice. The US women were obviously bigger, but they couldn't get any separation from the aggressive Fins in the first two periods. And, because of the shock and frustration of that early goal, the US took the first two penalties of the game. The US killed those two penalties, then got their first goal on a power play. But the US gave up a power play goal of their own and, as the first period ended, team USA was down 2-1. As the second period started, Finland continued their aggressive play... and the USA didn't look good. At 12:10 into the second period, Finland scored their third goal, to go up 3-1. To be honest, I hadn't seen anything from the Americans that showed me they could come back. They hadn't gotten quality shots on goal, they couldn't get separation from Fins, and Finland looked like the faster/better team. Thankfully for the Americans, we got a goal with just over a minute to go in the second period. I think it was huge for the psyche of team USA to go into the second intermission down 3-2 instead of 3-1. The Americans looked like a completely different team in the third period. They tied the score after only a minute and a half in the third period... and then it was only a matter of time before the USA wore down Finland. I mentioned before that the US team was obviously bigger than Finland... and I think they started to wear the Fins down. In the third period, the US had much more space, they had better scoring opportunities, and they were able to do whatever they wanted with the puck. For example, the goal which turned out to be the game winner, was a goal-to-goal skate by Angela Ruggiero. She took the puck behind her own goal and skated the entire length of the ice to score. That goal opened up the flood gates, and the US got three more goals in the next five minutes. Those three goals almost looked like exhibition play--break-aways, hard wrist shots, tons of skating and passing room. I almost feel bad for Hassinen, the Finnish goaltender... who had played absolutely brilliantly before the third period (when her defensemen broke down). She actually easily outplayed the American goalie, Gunn, until that third period. But the Americans did win, they'll play Sweden Friday... and will--hopefully--play team Canada for the gold when that golden game comes.
PERSONAL CrazyJohn: Right Of Way Inspector
As I was walking to a Valentine's lunch with Chelsey, I saw an Illinois Department of Transportation van. This van had something very interesting written on it--the van displayed this: "Right of Way Inspector." I was so taken aback by it's candor I laughed out loud. Right of way inspector? That almost sounds as made up as Jim and my "Symmetry major" at Albion. "This and this are the same. This does not look like that," we'd say. But this Right of way inspector smacks of the same thing: "You got to this intersection first. You are walking and can therefore go first." I mean, the candor I spoke of earlier relates to the balls it takes to create such a position. Is the economy that bad that we have to create fake jobs like a "Right of Way Inspector"? And, if it really is a job, isn't there a better word for whatever it is that the person does? Personally, I think it sounds like the kind of job I want. Do you think I could get hired with my degree in Symmetry?
PERSONAL A First On The L
After my Valentine's lunch with Chelsey, I headed back to my apartment via the Brown line train. As I reached the Lake L stop, I saw that the Brown Line train was just entering the station. I figured I'd try to run up the stairs, over the platform, and down the stairs to the other side... just in case I could make this train. Hey, you never know when the next train will be there. And it's so annoying when you see a train leave and then you have to stand and wait ten minutes for the next train. So, you can see why I wanted to run to see if I could make this particular train. As I'm approaching the train, coming down the stairs, I see that the doors are still open because a woman is trying to get her children onto the train. I figure that the conductor is watching that particular door, so that's where I head. And... I make it! Hooray! This is not the first to which the title referred. The "first" was what happened when the train started moving. As the train moves, and banks slightly to the left, one of the kids that was taking so long to get on the train was saying something. You know how kids don't understand yet how to be quiet enough that everyone doesn't hear them? So I think this kid thought he was talking to himself, but everyone heard him say: "Please don't fall off train." At first I thought he was trying to tell himself not to fall off the train, but then I realized he was asking the train not to fall off the tracks. And it wasn't a simple statement... he was repeating it the whole time the train banked: "Please don't fall off train. Please don't fall off train. Please don't fall off train. Please don't fall off train." I couldn't help but smile... mostly at how embarrassed the mother must have felt. That's funny to me. And then the train crashed. And I died.
It's not true.
No, it is true.
Valentine's Day, I watched the entire USA/Finland hockey game. Yes, the final score was 7-3 USA... but if you just see the final score, you don't know the whole story. Finland scored 13 seconds into the game off a stupid turnover in the USA zone (one of the US players tried to pass across the ice from behind her own goal... tsk tsk). As such, down 1-0 in the first 13 seconds, the US players played tight. They looked nervous... and the Finnish players were all over the ice. The US women were obviously bigger, but they couldn't get any separation from the aggressive Fins in the first two periods. And, because of the shock and frustration of that early goal, the US took the first two penalties of the game. The US killed those two penalties, then got their first goal on a power play. But the US gave up a power play goal of their own and, as the first period ended, team USA was down 2-1. As the second period started, Finland continued their aggressive play... and the USA didn't look good. At 12:10 into the second period, Finland scored their third goal, to go up 3-1. To be honest, I hadn't seen anything from the Americans that showed me they could come back. They hadn't gotten quality shots on goal, they couldn't get separation from Fins, and Finland looked like the faster/better team. Thankfully for the Americans, we got a goal with just over a minute to go in the second period. I think it was huge for the psyche of team USA to go into the second intermission down 3-2 instead of 3-1. The Americans looked like a completely different team in the third period. They tied the score after only a minute and a half in the third period... and then it was only a matter of time before the USA wore down Finland. I mentioned before that the US team was obviously bigger than Finland... and I think they started to wear the Fins down. In the third period, the US had much more space, they had better scoring opportunities, and they were able to do whatever they wanted with the puck. For example, the goal which turned out to be the game winner, was a goal-to-goal skate by Angela Ruggiero. She took the puck behind her own goal and skated the entire length of the ice to score. That goal opened up the flood gates, and the US got three more goals in the next five minutes. Those three goals almost looked like exhibition play--break-aways, hard wrist shots, tons of skating and passing room. I almost feel bad for Hassinen, the Finnish goaltender... who had played absolutely brilliantly before the third period (when her defensemen broke down). She actually easily outplayed the American goalie, Gunn, until that third period. But the Americans did win, they'll play Sweden Friday... and will--hopefully--play team Canada for the gold when that golden game comes.
PERSONAL CrazyJohn: Right Of Way Inspector
As I was walking to a Valentine's lunch with Chelsey, I saw an Illinois Department of Transportation van. This van had something very interesting written on it--the van displayed this: "Right of Way Inspector." I was so taken aback by it's candor I laughed out loud. Right of way inspector? That almost sounds as made up as Jim and my "Symmetry major" at Albion. "This and this are the same. This does not look like that," we'd say. But this Right of way inspector smacks of the same thing: "You got to this intersection first. You are walking and can therefore go first." I mean, the candor I spoke of earlier relates to the balls it takes to create such a position. Is the economy that bad that we have to create fake jobs like a "Right of Way Inspector"? And, if it really is a job, isn't there a better word for whatever it is that the person does? Personally, I think it sounds like the kind of job I want. Do you think I could get hired with my degree in Symmetry?
PERSONAL A First On The L
After my Valentine's lunch with Chelsey, I headed back to my apartment via the Brown line train. As I reached the Lake L stop, I saw that the Brown Line train was just entering the station. I figured I'd try to run up the stairs, over the platform, and down the stairs to the other side... just in case I could make this train. Hey, you never know when the next train will be there. And it's so annoying when you see a train leave and then you have to stand and wait ten minutes for the next train. So, you can see why I wanted to run to see if I could make this particular train. As I'm approaching the train, coming down the stairs, I see that the doors are still open because a woman is trying to get her children onto the train. I figure that the conductor is watching that particular door, so that's where I head. And... I make it! Hooray! This is not the first to which the title referred. The "first" was what happened when the train started moving. As the train moves, and banks slightly to the left, one of the kids that was taking so long to get on the train was saying something. You know how kids don't understand yet how to be quiet enough that everyone doesn't hear them? So I think this kid thought he was talking to himself, but everyone heard him say: "Please don't fall off train." At first I thought he was trying to tell himself not to fall off the train, but then I realized he was asking the train not to fall off the tracks. And it wasn't a simple statement... he was repeating it the whole time the train banked: "Please don't fall off train. Please don't fall off train. Please don't fall off train. Please don't fall off train." I couldn't help but smile... mostly at how embarrassed the mother must have felt. That's funny to me. And then the train crashed. And I died.
It's not true.
No, it is true.
Monday, February 13, 2006
SPORTS *Cough* *Sneeze* I've Got Olympic Fever!
So much so, in fact, that I will watch Italy play Sweden in hockey. Oh, excuse me, WOMEN'S hockey. I actually fibbed a bit... I don't have Olympic fever... I just love women's hockey. It is one of the few women's sports that I'll watch whenever I can find it. I don't know what it is about women's hockey... but I love it. I'll scour the Olympic schedule to find hockey, secretly planning around watching women's games. If/When team USA plays against team Canada in Women's Hockey... it'll be one to watch, for SURE! Both teams are currently 2-0, both teams haven't allowed a goal so far, and both teams have scored over a dozen goals so far (Canada has score 28 in two games!). We're basically talking about two juggernauts meeting--what would be (because of the pooling)--for the gold. As such, don't bother trying to contact me during the gold medal game... I'll be busy.
Commercials First "Annual" Annoyies!
I mentioned a few commercials from the Superbowl, but thought there are other commercials on TV which are worth noting. I understand that some small or new companies ad campaigns are built on being so horribly annoying that one can't help but remember their commercials and, thereby, their products. But here is a small collection of advertising campaigns that just don't get it, that are annoying when they don't need to be, and that have inspired me to create an award just for them--The Annoyies:
The commercial that started this particular post--and is already an Annoyie Hall Of Vexer--is the Mama McNabb/Campbell's soup campaign. When this campaign started with Reggie White and his "mom" (an actress back in those days), it was fresh, new, and cute. Now, with the McNabb's, this campaign is starting to show its age. Not only are these commercials uninspired and boring, they are--at worst--the most annoying commercials on TV. In particular the "Eat up those big chunks of steak" commercial, because that line is said with the same inflection that one would say "Go ahead and touch yourself." The line comes out eerie, especially since the mom is whispering it into Donovan's ear. This is also the commercial where "Mama McNabb" is screaming from the sidelines for Donovan to "Run that way! Throw the ball! Throw the ball!!!" and the cacophony that is her voice absolutely pierces your soul. Congratulations Campbell's Soup, Hall of Vexer!
Another ad campaign which is an instant Hall of Vexer is anything created by Vontage. When their commercials first came out, we all were okay with their uber annoying background song because they had video of kids throwing bats through glass windows or sawing a tree which landed on their car and we would laugh through the annoying song. But now... there's nothing to laugh at, as their commercials have become stupid (They can't change the world, and look! they have nudist neighbors! Oh that's so funny. No? Not funny? Abstract and sophomoric? Fair enough). All we hear now is that song which sticks into your head and makes you want to kill Vontage users for supporting the people who created that song. Congratulations Vontage, Hall of Vexer!
Speaking of annoying phone company songs (didn't think that was a category, did you?), have you seen the new Verizon commercial? It's not a campaign, it's just a commercial to tell us that, if you want a phone, you'd better be "Urgent" about it. Yes, I refer to that commercial where the guy is singing "Urgent! Gumma fax, maka Urgent! Urgent!" I don't think he knows the words and I'm wondering if that's supposed to be funny. All this ad ends up doing, however, is sticking an annoying song in my head with incorrect lyrics. And, to add to everything, you've got this extreme close-up on his face, his dumb haven't-shaved-in-days-and-aren't-I-attractive face... and it makes me want to punch him. So Congratulations Verizon, Winner of Annoyie for Worst New Commercial!
And, since we've gotten ourselves into the categories, let's talk about sounds. There is a local commercial for Lasik eye-surgery, but this could go to any commercial with this sound in it. The Lasik commercial is about how much time the average person spends per day putting in contact lenses (Point being that with Lasik, they'll never have to waste that time again). But this commercial starts, the very first second the commercial is on, with an alarm clock buzzer going off. It starts with "BAH BAH BAH!!!" which is about twice as loud as it needs to be. And, if this commercial is right after an actual show program (which is quieter than the commercials to begin with), it's beginning is jarring. It can/will actually wake you out of being awake. Congratulations Unknown Lasik commercial, Winner of Annoyie for Sound!
And, finally, here is a topical category. For almost a month, we've been inundated with Valentine's Day commercials. The worst of all of them is a Zales commercial. In the background the song sounds like they're saying "Yo Yo Ma." What Chelsey tells me is that the song is actually a famous oldies song, and they're singing "For your love." This one is annoying because of the song, but also because of the pure volume of times it runs. I've actually seen a commercial break which consisted of this commercial, another commercial (a Mama McNabb one, of all things), and then this commercial AGAIN! The amount of times I saw/heard this commercial in the past week give this one a special Annoyie. Congratulations Zales, Winner of the Annoyie for Overkill of a Topical/Time-Sensitive Ad Campaign!
Honorable Mention in this category: Russell Stover's "Women love chocolate" commercials. In both commercials (there's one with men talking about how women love chocolate and one with women doing the same) there is someone who pronounces it "Jocklet." Check it out. Annoys the urine out of me.
TV What Happened To My Numb3rs Show?
For the first time in months I was able to watch my Friday night show, Numbers, this past Friday night. The show used to be a buddy-buddy show between the math brother and the FBI brother. I loved the dynamic of the show... it made me say "Aww... they're different but still so much the same." Now I haven't seen that show in months, but when I saw it Friday, I thought "Oh... Another CSI clone." That thought is sad... but it's what the show has become. The show now centers around the FBI brother and his "team" of Feds... and the math brother is just kind of there to figure it all out at the end. I still enjoy the show (however unrealistic the mathematics are), but it's ridiculous to see something that was as original as Numbers become another mindless cop-show copycat.
So much so, in fact, that I will watch Italy play Sweden in hockey. Oh, excuse me, WOMEN'S hockey. I actually fibbed a bit... I don't have Olympic fever... I just love women's hockey. It is one of the few women's sports that I'll watch whenever I can find it. I don't know what it is about women's hockey... but I love it. I'll scour the Olympic schedule to find hockey, secretly planning around watching women's games. If/When team USA plays against team Canada in Women's Hockey... it'll be one to watch, for SURE! Both teams are currently 2-0, both teams haven't allowed a goal so far, and both teams have scored over a dozen goals so far (Canada has score 28 in two games!). We're basically talking about two juggernauts meeting--what would be (because of the pooling)--for the gold. As such, don't bother trying to contact me during the gold medal game... I'll be busy.
Commercials First "Annual" Annoyies!
I mentioned a few commercials from the Superbowl, but thought there are other commercials on TV which are worth noting. I understand that some small or new companies ad campaigns are built on being so horribly annoying that one can't help but remember their commercials and, thereby, their products. But here is a small collection of advertising campaigns that just don't get it, that are annoying when they don't need to be, and that have inspired me to create an award just for them--The Annoyies:
The commercial that started this particular post--and is already an Annoyie Hall Of Vexer--is the Mama McNabb/Campbell's soup campaign. When this campaign started with Reggie White and his "mom" (an actress back in those days), it was fresh, new, and cute. Now, with the McNabb's, this campaign is starting to show its age. Not only are these commercials uninspired and boring, they are--at worst--the most annoying commercials on TV. In particular the "Eat up those big chunks of steak" commercial, because that line is said with the same inflection that one would say "Go ahead and touch yourself." The line comes out eerie, especially since the mom is whispering it into Donovan's ear. This is also the commercial where "Mama McNabb" is screaming from the sidelines for Donovan to "Run that way! Throw the ball! Throw the ball!!!" and the cacophony that is her voice absolutely pierces your soul. Congratulations Campbell's Soup, Hall of Vexer!
Another ad campaign which is an instant Hall of Vexer is anything created by Vontage. When their commercials first came out, we all were okay with their uber annoying background song because they had video of kids throwing bats through glass windows or sawing a tree which landed on their car and we would laugh through the annoying song. But now... there's nothing to laugh at, as their commercials have become stupid (They can't change the world, and look! they have nudist neighbors! Oh that's so funny. No? Not funny? Abstract and sophomoric? Fair enough). All we hear now is that song which sticks into your head and makes you want to kill Vontage users for supporting the people who created that song. Congratulations Vontage, Hall of Vexer!
Speaking of annoying phone company songs (didn't think that was a category, did you?), have you seen the new Verizon commercial? It's not a campaign, it's just a commercial to tell us that, if you want a phone, you'd better be "Urgent" about it. Yes, I refer to that commercial where the guy is singing "Urgent! Gumma fax, maka Urgent! Urgent!" I don't think he knows the words and I'm wondering if that's supposed to be funny. All this ad ends up doing, however, is sticking an annoying song in my head with incorrect lyrics. And, to add to everything, you've got this extreme close-up on his face, his dumb haven't-shaved-in-days-and-aren't-I-attractive face... and it makes me want to punch him. So Congratulations Verizon, Winner of Annoyie for Worst New Commercial!
And, since we've gotten ourselves into the categories, let's talk about sounds. There is a local commercial for Lasik eye-surgery, but this could go to any commercial with this sound in it. The Lasik commercial is about how much time the average person spends per day putting in contact lenses (Point being that with Lasik, they'll never have to waste that time again). But this commercial starts, the very first second the commercial is on, with an alarm clock buzzer going off. It starts with "BAH BAH BAH!!!" which is about twice as loud as it needs to be. And, if this commercial is right after an actual show program (which is quieter than the commercials to begin with), it's beginning is jarring. It can/will actually wake you out of being awake. Congratulations Unknown Lasik commercial, Winner of Annoyie for Sound!
And, finally, here is a topical category. For almost a month, we've been inundated with Valentine's Day commercials. The worst of all of them is a Zales commercial. In the background the song sounds like they're saying "Yo Yo Ma." What Chelsey tells me is that the song is actually a famous oldies song, and they're singing "For your love." This one is annoying because of the song, but also because of the pure volume of times it runs. I've actually seen a commercial break which consisted of this commercial, another commercial (a Mama McNabb one, of all things), and then this commercial AGAIN! The amount of times I saw/heard this commercial in the past week give this one a special Annoyie. Congratulations Zales, Winner of the Annoyie for Overkill of a Topical/Time-Sensitive Ad Campaign!
Honorable Mention in this category: Russell Stover's "Women love chocolate" commercials. In both commercials (there's one with men talking about how women love chocolate and one with women doing the same) there is someone who pronounces it "Jocklet." Check it out. Annoys the urine out of me.
TV What Happened To My Numb3rs Show?
For the first time in months I was able to watch my Friday night show, Numbers, this past Friday night. The show used to be a buddy-buddy show between the math brother and the FBI brother. I loved the dynamic of the show... it made me say "Aww... they're different but still so much the same." Now I haven't seen that show in months, but when I saw it Friday, I thought "Oh... Another CSI clone." That thought is sad... but it's what the show has become. The show now centers around the FBI brother and his "team" of Feds... and the math brother is just kind of there to figure it all out at the end. I still enjoy the show (however unrealistic the mathematics are), but it's ridiculous to see something that was as original as Numbers become another mindless cop-show copycat.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
PERSONAL Booking Agency: Scam Or Big Time Scam--You Decide
A friend of mine who worked at Coldstone with me is now a talent scout for a booking agency. Last week, she gave me a website and a "code" to get started. I went to the website, uploaded my headshot and a few acting resume items, and seemed to be all set. Then something odd happened... they asked for my credit card number and information. The reason they asked for that information is that, when an actor receives and accepts a booking request, the actor must pay $5. It doesn't matter if the actor is hired... the $5 is still paid from the actor to the agency. I figured this wouldn't be a big deal, as I wouldn't accept more than one or two. So, having completed the forms, and less than 24-hours later, I started receiving booking requests by the truckload. A problem arose from me having to read through the dozens of bookings, some of which OBVIOUSLY weren't for me (am I an in-shape mother who wants to host a fitness show? am I a hip-hop diva?). The bigger problem is that I saw something on Craigslist about how this particular agency is a scam. Not only could they take my credit card info, but they have a history of not paying the actors for the jobs they take. So, what do you think, kids? Scam or Big Time Scam? Addendum: I have recently cancelled my account. Just in case!
PERSONAL My Parents Try To Understand Me Through Dave Chappelle
I called my folks this weekend and they were watching Inside The Actor's Studio with Chappelle as the guest. My dad seemed very interested in the show... so I started watching it too, from Chicago. And then, when Dave was talking about being on stage being the only time he truly felt adult... and the audience were his true friends that held him up at times, I started wondering if my parents were watching the show to get a better understanding of me. I mean, I've never really thought about it until now, but I wonder if it's hard for my parents to understand why I want to entertain--to be on stage--as much as I do. It's selfish and naive of me to not think that maybe, just maybe, my parents don't understand this "stage thing" that I do. To me, it's so simple... it's so clear... it seems so natural to do, but maybe it doesn't always make sense to the people who are closest to me. Could it be that my mom doesn't understand why I don't want a computer job that will financially secure me and my family for years? I don't know... but I owe it to them to explain as much of my reasoning as I understand. So there.
PERSONAL Jobless? Ha! My Girlfriend And I Average 1.5 Jobs, Bitch!
Basically because Chelsey now has three jobs. She has her bank day job, the one that makes all the monies. And, recently, she was just given a couple of night jobs. She was given an opportunity at The Second City to work as the TD for night shows. It basically consists of doing lights and sound for a Skybox show... but it's a fabulous opportunity to get her foot in the door of The Second City. Plus it's a good resume builder for her because it's an opportunity to do lights and sound in Chicago. Additionally, she was just asked to stage manage for the Chicago Jewish Theatre. Before you go, "What?" let's just say that Chelsey successfully networked when she got to Chicago and it's already paying off. I'm very proud of her... and I'm happy for her since she seems as excited about these opportunities as she's been since she moved here. And I'm excited that she's excited. It's exciting.
A friend of mine who worked at Coldstone with me is now a talent scout for a booking agency. Last week, she gave me a website and a "code" to get started. I went to the website, uploaded my headshot and a few acting resume items, and seemed to be all set. Then something odd happened... they asked for my credit card number and information. The reason they asked for that information is that, when an actor receives and accepts a booking request, the actor must pay $5. It doesn't matter if the actor is hired... the $5 is still paid from the actor to the agency. I figured this wouldn't be a big deal, as I wouldn't accept more than one or two. So, having completed the forms, and less than 24-hours later, I started receiving booking requests by the truckload. A problem arose from me having to read through the dozens of bookings, some of which OBVIOUSLY weren't for me (am I an in-shape mother who wants to host a fitness show? am I a hip-hop diva?). The bigger problem is that I saw something on Craigslist about how this particular agency is a scam. Not only could they take my credit card info, but they have a history of not paying the actors for the jobs they take. So, what do you think, kids? Scam or Big Time Scam? Addendum: I have recently cancelled my account. Just in case!
PERSONAL My Parents Try To Understand Me Through Dave Chappelle
I called my folks this weekend and they were watching Inside The Actor's Studio with Chappelle as the guest. My dad seemed very interested in the show... so I started watching it too, from Chicago. And then, when Dave was talking about being on stage being the only time he truly felt adult... and the audience were his true friends that held him up at times, I started wondering if my parents were watching the show to get a better understanding of me. I mean, I've never really thought about it until now, but I wonder if it's hard for my parents to understand why I want to entertain--to be on stage--as much as I do. It's selfish and naive of me to not think that maybe, just maybe, my parents don't understand this "stage thing" that I do. To me, it's so simple... it's so clear... it seems so natural to do, but maybe it doesn't always make sense to the people who are closest to me. Could it be that my mom doesn't understand why I don't want a computer job that will financially secure me and my family for years? I don't know... but I owe it to them to explain as much of my reasoning as I understand. So there.
PERSONAL Jobless? Ha! My Girlfriend And I Average 1.5 Jobs, Bitch!
Basically because Chelsey now has three jobs. She has her bank day job, the one that makes all the monies. And, recently, she was just given a couple of night jobs. She was given an opportunity at The Second City to work as the TD for night shows. It basically consists of doing lights and sound for a Skybox show... but it's a fabulous opportunity to get her foot in the door of The Second City. Plus it's a good resume builder for her because it's an opportunity to do lights and sound in Chicago. Additionally, she was just asked to stage manage for the Chicago Jewish Theatre. Before you go, "What?" let's just say that Chelsey successfully networked when she got to Chicago and it's already paying off. I'm very proud of her... and I'm happy for her since she seems as excited about these opportunities as she's been since she moved here. And I'm excited that she's excited. It's exciting.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
PERSONAL Lindsey, The Talking Sausage
Tuesday afternoon, I was walking back from having lunch with Chelsey, when I saw three costumed people standing on a street corner (a street corner which I was approaching). As is my gameplan against panhandlers, I approached and ignored... looking straight ahead. But I heard one of them say "... in a show with my friend Heather" and so I turned to see if I knew this person and... I did. It was Lindsey, a friend of the Heather I've done two shows with in the skybox, wearing a sausage costume. She was standing on the corner with a man dressed as a baby, and another person dressed as a bird in a cage, for CareerBuilder.com. The promotion/pitch goes something like this "Don't let it happen to you. Get a better job than I've got." It was actually hilarious once I heard the pitch... it just looked funny to have a sausage, baby, and caged-bird on a street corner. So I stood there and hugged a giant talking sausage... then she and I talked for a couple of minutes and she let me cross and I let her go back to creeping people out in a giant sausage costume. As I crossed the street, I overheard a guy saying how hilarious the promotion was, but that the "baby" had it made. "You get fed and sleep... I'll take the baby's job."
PERSONAL Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinoooooooo!!!
Tuesday night I went to a free event at The Second City. Norm had invited his friend and one time colleague Dino S. (names have been changed to protect the innocent) to speak to students about his experiences as a writer in the "biz." Now Dino was one of the writers on one of my favorite shows (and easily my favorite sketch show) of all time--Mr. Show with Bob and David. He has a new project as part of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim--Moral Orel. We were shown three episodes of the show and it's hilarious. It's about a boy, Orel, who wants to do things the right way... the way he thinks God would want him to do things. But Orel gets confused and ultimately does funny things. The show is moral and ethical, even if it is seemingly blasphemous towards certain religions (read: Christianity). It's actually an amazingly intellectual view on the difference between religion and morality. Regardless, Dino looks like the lead singer of System of a Down and it was fun to hear from him. The was another guy who was there, who I'll call Nick. He was in charge of putting Orel on Adult Swim... and he basically fell into his job. It made me really jealous... but also gave me hope that I might be able to be in the right place at the right time, just like he was. I hope so... because I'm awesome.
PERSONAL A Mocha Frappacino: The New Crack
On Monday, I met up with my friend Jenny from my improv class. We discussed and rehearsed a scene she had written that she wanted me to be in with her. It's a hilarious scene... and I feel very thankful that she wanted me specifically to be in it. Regardless, we went to Starbucks *cue evil music* afterwards. She said coffee was on her--anything I wanted. I don't know Starbucks very well (or any coffee place, for that matter). But I have recently realized that I like the bottled mocha frappacino thing that Starbucks sells. So I told Jenny that I like mocha/chocolate taste... and I told the worker woman that I'd like her to make it a "frappy kinda cino thing" which made her laugh. But I had this drink and it was so damn good: Chocolatey with a not-so-overpowering coffee flavor. Yum yum... and I actually went out of my way to get another one on Tuesday. At $4 a piece... this is probably not a good habit to start. Someone intervene!
FOOTBALL Where Is Favre Going?
There have been a couple stories about Favre going around lately. Most of the stories have Favre leaving the Packers to go play for Miami or Kansas City or someplace that isn't Green Bay. Honestly, we've seen this kind of thing before, where a great player leaves the team on which he was great so that he can play another season or two--Joe Montana to Kansas City, Jerry Rice to all over, Emmett Smith to Arizona, Bruce Smith to Washington, OJ to San Fran, and so on. It seems to be a trait most attributed to quarterbacks though, like Montana (Niners to Chiefs), Van Brocklin (Rams to Eagles), Unitas (Colts to Chargers), Tarkenton (Vikings to Giants), and Namath (Jets to Rams) to name a few. As such, there is a precedence for this sort of thing... and Niners fans don't hate Montana for leaving/Jets fans don't hate Namath for leaving, but I have a feeling that Packers fans would feel betrayed if Favre left. I don't know that they're mature enough. Mature isn't the right word... but the Packers fans very much have their hearts on their sleeves... and would be noticeable emotionally hurt if Favre wanted to leave Green Bay. My personal feelings? If Favre wants to play for another championship, he needs to leave. Green Bay is probably a decade away from another championship run... and at least a few years away from being able to even make a playoff run. Where do I think he should go? *shakes head* I don't know. Miami seems to be at the forefront of places that make sense. On the other hand, there are places that would kill Packers fans... like Dallas. Don't go to Dallas, Brett. We know where you live.
FOOTBALL NEWS Kornheiser To Head To MNF Booth
ESPN has announced the Monday Night Football crew for next season: Mike Tirico, Joe Theismann, and Tony Kornheiser. Who does this leave off? Al Michaels, who has been with ABC since 1976 (Hint: before I was born and, therefore, as long as I've ever known him). Michaels will be heading to NBC next season, and I think will be the play-by-play announcer for the Sunday Night Games... which will be on NBC next year (Madden is moving to NBC as well). Well, what do I think of the Monday Night crew? Let's start with the obvious. I've heard Theismann do Sunday night games and I enjoy him very much. I've also heard Tirico do play-by-play for sporting events (the Michigan/Nebraska bowl game comes to mind) and he's very solid. Fair, honest, and knowledgeable... Tirico is quiet good. Now the wild card: Kornheiser. I love Tony on PTI... I love that show. Everything they do on that show is great. Here's the problem I have with Kornheiser: he is a "star" whore. If you were to get a game with two teams without big name stars, what is Tony going to talk about. I mean, he is a Kobe man... and people who like Kobe Bryant DON'T like teams. Additionally, Tony likes to run PTI his way. Wilbon is great, don't get me wrong... but it's Tony's show and Tony does what he wants. I have reservations about Tony in an environment that he doesn't control. I keep hearing the Kornheiser is the closest personality to Howard Cosell that's out there... and MNF is looking for a Cosell-replacement. So, if Tony can resurrect Cosell, looks like everything will work out swimmingly for ESPN. Congrats to the new MNF crew.
Tuesday afternoon, I was walking back from having lunch with Chelsey, when I saw three costumed people standing on a street corner (a street corner which I was approaching). As is my gameplan against panhandlers, I approached and ignored... looking straight ahead. But I heard one of them say "... in a show with my friend Heather" and so I turned to see if I knew this person and... I did. It was Lindsey, a friend of the Heather I've done two shows with in the skybox, wearing a sausage costume. She was standing on the corner with a man dressed as a baby, and another person dressed as a bird in a cage, for CareerBuilder.com. The promotion/pitch goes something like this "Don't let it happen to you. Get a better job than I've got." It was actually hilarious once I heard the pitch... it just looked funny to have a sausage, baby, and caged-bird on a street corner. So I stood there and hugged a giant talking sausage... then she and I talked for a couple of minutes and she let me cross and I let her go back to creeping people out in a giant sausage costume. As I crossed the street, I overheard a guy saying how hilarious the promotion was, but that the "baby" had it made. "You get fed and sleep... I'll take the baby's job."
PERSONAL Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinoooooooo!!!
Tuesday night I went to a free event at The Second City. Norm had invited his friend and one time colleague Dino S. (names have been changed to protect the innocent) to speak to students about his experiences as a writer in the "biz." Now Dino was one of the writers on one of my favorite shows (and easily my favorite sketch show) of all time--Mr. Show with Bob and David. He has a new project as part of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim--Moral Orel. We were shown three episodes of the show and it's hilarious. It's about a boy, Orel, who wants to do things the right way... the way he thinks God would want him to do things. But Orel gets confused and ultimately does funny things. The show is moral and ethical, even if it is seemingly blasphemous towards certain religions (read: Christianity). It's actually an amazingly intellectual view on the difference between religion and morality. Regardless, Dino looks like the lead singer of System of a Down and it was fun to hear from him. The was another guy who was there, who I'll call Nick. He was in charge of putting Orel on Adult Swim... and he basically fell into his job. It made me really jealous... but also gave me hope that I might be able to be in the right place at the right time, just like he was. I hope so... because I'm awesome.
PERSONAL A Mocha Frappacino: The New Crack
On Monday, I met up with my friend Jenny from my improv class. We discussed and rehearsed a scene she had written that she wanted me to be in with her. It's a hilarious scene... and I feel very thankful that she wanted me specifically to be in it. Regardless, we went to Starbucks *cue evil music* afterwards. She said coffee was on her--anything I wanted. I don't know Starbucks very well (or any coffee place, for that matter). But I have recently realized that I like the bottled mocha frappacino thing that Starbucks sells. So I told Jenny that I like mocha/chocolate taste... and I told the worker woman that I'd like her to make it a "frappy kinda cino thing" which made her laugh. But I had this drink and it was so damn good: Chocolatey with a not-so-overpowering coffee flavor. Yum yum... and I actually went out of my way to get another one on Tuesday. At $4 a piece... this is probably not a good habit to start. Someone intervene!
FOOTBALL Where Is Favre Going?
There have been a couple stories about Favre going around lately. Most of the stories have Favre leaving the Packers to go play for Miami or Kansas City or someplace that isn't Green Bay. Honestly, we've seen this kind of thing before, where a great player leaves the team on which he was great so that he can play another season or two--Joe Montana to Kansas City, Jerry Rice to all over, Emmett Smith to Arizona, Bruce Smith to Washington, OJ to San Fran, and so on. It seems to be a trait most attributed to quarterbacks though, like Montana (Niners to Chiefs), Van Brocklin (Rams to Eagles), Unitas (Colts to Chargers), Tarkenton (Vikings to Giants), and Namath (Jets to Rams) to name a few. As such, there is a precedence for this sort of thing... and Niners fans don't hate Montana for leaving/Jets fans don't hate Namath for leaving, but I have a feeling that Packers fans would feel betrayed if Favre left. I don't know that they're mature enough. Mature isn't the right word... but the Packers fans very much have their hearts on their sleeves... and would be noticeable emotionally hurt if Favre wanted to leave Green Bay. My personal feelings? If Favre wants to play for another championship, he needs to leave. Green Bay is probably a decade away from another championship run... and at least a few years away from being able to even make a playoff run. Where do I think he should go? *shakes head* I don't know. Miami seems to be at the forefront of places that make sense. On the other hand, there are places that would kill Packers fans... like Dallas. Don't go to Dallas, Brett. We know where you live.
FOOTBALL NEWS Kornheiser To Head To MNF Booth
ESPN has announced the Monday Night Football crew for next season: Mike Tirico, Joe Theismann, and Tony Kornheiser. Who does this leave off? Al Michaels, who has been with ABC since 1976 (Hint: before I was born and, therefore, as long as I've ever known him). Michaels will be heading to NBC next season, and I think will be the play-by-play announcer for the Sunday Night Games... which will be on NBC next year (Madden is moving to NBC as well). Well, what do I think of the Monday Night crew? Let's start with the obvious. I've heard Theismann do Sunday night games and I enjoy him very much. I've also heard Tirico do play-by-play for sporting events (the Michigan/Nebraska bowl game comes to mind) and he's very solid. Fair, honest, and knowledgeable... Tirico is quiet good. Now the wild card: Kornheiser. I love Tony on PTI... I love that show. Everything they do on that show is great. Here's the problem I have with Kornheiser: he is a "star" whore. If you were to get a game with two teams without big name stars, what is Tony going to talk about. I mean, he is a Kobe man... and people who like Kobe Bryant DON'T like teams. Additionally, Tony likes to run PTI his way. Wilbon is great, don't get me wrong... but it's Tony's show and Tony does what he wants. I have reservations about Tony in an environment that he doesn't control. I keep hearing the Kornheiser is the closest personality to Howard Cosell that's out there... and MNF is looking for a Cosell-replacement. So, if Tony can resurrect Cosell, looks like everything will work out swimmingly for ESPN. Congrats to the new MNF crew.
Monday, February 06, 2006
PERSONAL Disappointment Station
Monday night was supposed to be my first 45-minute sketch set with my Conservatory class. The reason I say "was supposed to be" and not simply "was" is that our class shows need 25 tickets sold by 7:45 PM or else there is no show. And, guess what? If you said "you didn't have a show because you didn't sell 25 tickets by 7:45 PM" than give yourself a gold star for the day. So I didn't have the show Monday I was supposed to have. Needless to say, I was very disappointed. I don't think that my class was necessarily ready for this performance... and it would have been good for my class to experience that level of failure, frankly. The improv seems to have come to us pretty easily... and I would like us to realize as a class that 45-minutes of sketch is hard. A performance like that is going to be HARD... and we need to practice. We NEED to rehearse for it... and I don't think that my class is really all that "into" rehearsing outside of class. And, unfortunately, for this reason I feel like my class is not going to stay together unless we're only doing improv. Unless we can get together, perform, and then leave our separate ways... my class will not stay together. I think that's sad... since we're talented as a class, but if talent alone could stick people together how many bands would still be together? Oh well, hopefully we'll have an actual show next Monday night.
VIDEO GAMES Half-Life 2 FULL Of Life
A couple of weeks ago, I rented Half-Life 2 from GameFly. It is, by far, the best first-person shooter I've ever played. The environments are enormous (lots of loading screens!), and the level design is the most 3D oriented--and by that I mean you have to really look down and up to see where to go next--of any game in any genre I've ever played! I mean, for example, at least half of the game happens after you've already cleared an area of enemies. Once all the enemies are gone, you find yourself looking around saying "Now where the hell am I going next?" Honestly, I find myself sometimes sitting, playing the game with my mouth wide open... I'm just sitting there with my mouth open?!... trying to figure out where I'm going and how I can get there. The game is as beautiful as it is gory... and can I say how much I love "rag-doll" physics? It's awesome! The physics in this game are incredible! It's a very smart game (with the physics and the level design)... but I honestly don't think I'll buy it. I know I'm beaming about it right now... but one of the best reasons for buying a shooter is that you can play it with other people. I think, if (read: when) we see Half-Life 3 on the NexGen consoles (XBox 360), it will have a co-op option--which is my favorite part of first-person shooters. Half-Life 2 is an amazing game... but, besides the amazing 1 player mode (which I've played for almost 10 hours and am still not done), this game won't have much replay-ability. So go out and rent HL2, be blow away by it, and return it when you're done.
Monday night was supposed to be my first 45-minute sketch set with my Conservatory class. The reason I say "was supposed to be" and not simply "was" is that our class shows need 25 tickets sold by 7:45 PM or else there is no show. And, guess what? If you said "you didn't have a show because you didn't sell 25 tickets by 7:45 PM" than give yourself a gold star for the day. So I didn't have the show Monday I was supposed to have. Needless to say, I was very disappointed. I don't think that my class was necessarily ready for this performance... and it would have been good for my class to experience that level of failure, frankly. The improv seems to have come to us pretty easily... and I would like us to realize as a class that 45-minutes of sketch is hard. A performance like that is going to be HARD... and we need to practice. We NEED to rehearse for it... and I don't think that my class is really all that "into" rehearsing outside of class. And, unfortunately, for this reason I feel like my class is not going to stay together unless we're only doing improv. Unless we can get together, perform, and then leave our separate ways... my class will not stay together. I think that's sad... since we're talented as a class, but if talent alone could stick people together how many bands would still be together? Oh well, hopefully we'll have an actual show next Monday night.
VIDEO GAMES Half-Life 2 FULL Of Life
A couple of weeks ago, I rented Half-Life 2 from GameFly. It is, by far, the best first-person shooter I've ever played. The environments are enormous (lots of loading screens!), and the level design is the most 3D oriented--and by that I mean you have to really look down and up to see where to go next--of any game in any genre I've ever played! I mean, for example, at least half of the game happens after you've already cleared an area of enemies. Once all the enemies are gone, you find yourself looking around saying "Now where the hell am I going next?" Honestly, I find myself sometimes sitting, playing the game with my mouth wide open... I'm just sitting there with my mouth open?!... trying to figure out where I'm going and how I can get there. The game is as beautiful as it is gory... and can I say how much I love "rag-doll" physics? It's awesome! The physics in this game are incredible! It's a very smart game (with the physics and the level design)... but I honestly don't think I'll buy it. I know I'm beaming about it right now... but one of the best reasons for buying a shooter is that you can play it with other people. I think, if (read: when) we see Half-Life 3 on the NexGen consoles (XBox 360), it will have a co-op option--which is my favorite part of first-person shooters. Half-Life 2 is an amazing game... but, besides the amazing 1 player mode (which I've played for almost 10 hours and am still not done), this game won't have much replay-ability. So go out and rent HL2, be blow away by it, and return it when you're done.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
FOOTBALL Congratulations Pittsburgh Steelers, Superbowl XL Winners
The Pittsburgh football Steelers just won Superbowl 40. I voted for Hines Ward as Superbowl MVP (which he won), even though I could see it going to a few players. Hines was THE reason they won this game... and if you give me three Hines Ward's and a Brett Favre, and I'll give you three Superbowl rings. I have a great respect for the Rooney's and everyone in the Pittsburgh organization--it seems like they always do things the right way, with hard work, brains, and talent. I'm very happy for Coach Cowher... who's 14 years with the same team is something I wish we saw more of in today's NFL. I'd also like to give a huge congratulations to Jerome Bettis, who now can (and should) retire as a champion. Congratulations to a future Hall of Famer.
This game was one of the sloppiest and tightest I've seen in years. I was certain, after the first quarter and a half, that the Seahawks would win. But then, when Pittsburgh finally scored a touchdown, I was surprised that Seattle only had 3 points. Seattle looked like they were going to surpass Pitt in the third quarter after Ben threw the near pick/six when it looked like THEY were going to put the game away. Seattle looked rattled a few times... and Pittsburgh deserved to win. Congratulations to them.
The Pittsburgh football Steelers just won Superbowl 40. I voted for Hines Ward as Superbowl MVP (which he won), even though I could see it going to a few players. Hines was THE reason they won this game... and if you give me three Hines Ward's and a Brett Favre, and I'll give you three Superbowl rings. I have a great respect for the Rooney's and everyone in the Pittsburgh organization--it seems like they always do things the right way, with hard work, brains, and talent. I'm very happy for Coach Cowher... who's 14 years with the same team is something I wish we saw more of in today's NFL. I'd also like to give a huge congratulations to Jerome Bettis, who now can (and should) retire as a champion. Congratulations to a future Hall of Famer.
This game was one of the sloppiest and tightest I've seen in years. I was certain, after the first quarter and a half, that the Seahawks would win. But then, when Pittsburgh finally scored a touchdown, I was surprised that Seattle only had 3 points. Seattle looked like they were going to surpass Pitt in the third quarter after Ben threw the near pick/six when it looked like THEY were going to put the game away. Seattle looked rattled a few times... and Pittsburgh deserved to win. Congratulations to them.
Commercials
The Hummer commercial with the monster and robot falling in love and making a baby (which was the new H3) was going to be my favorite commercial until I saw the product. I thought it was hilarious and clever and then... BOO!!! it's a Hummer commercial. Hey Hummer! Take a page from the Ford people (with their Kermit commercial) and make a hybrid. Stop wasting gas with your stupid, huge SUV things.
But what has been my favorite commercial so far is the CareerBuilder commercial with the Jackasses. THAT's funny... especially since I thought the monkey commercials were funny to begin with. Ha! CareerBuilder will find me a job, I hope!
The Hummer commercial with the monster and robot falling in love and making a baby (which was the new H3) was going to be my favorite commercial until I saw the product. I thought it was hilarious and clever and then... BOO!!! it's a Hummer commercial. Hey Hummer! Take a page from the Ford people (with their Kermit commercial) and make a hybrid. Stop wasting gas with your stupid, huge SUV things.
But what has been my favorite commercial so far is the CareerBuilder commercial with the Jackasses. THAT's funny... especially since I thought the monkey commercials were funny to begin with. Ha! CareerBuilder will find me a job, I hope!
FOOTBALL Wake Me When It's Over
Am I the only one who's seriously pissed that the Rolling Stones are performing at Half-time? I mean, even for the Rolling Stones they're terrible. Mic is singing "Mah can get no... sat-is-fak-shun!" and "Cause I try" has turned into what sounds like "Low de twa!" Mic can NOT dance... but instead has decided to convulse not necessarily to the music. Hell, even the guitar sounds like, well, I was playing. Notes are being missed... and the guitar players look as into this performance as I am. What a terrible performance this is... and the coverage is showing "canned" reactions from planted audience members who are just so thrilled to be close enough to men who started playing music nationally decades before they were even born. As the title says... wake me when this performance is over.
Am I the only one who's seriously pissed that the Rolling Stones are performing at Half-time? I mean, even for the Rolling Stones they're terrible. Mic is singing "Mah can get no... sat-is-fak-shun!" and "Cause I try" has turned into what sounds like "Low de twa!" Mic can NOT dance... but instead has decided to convulse not necessarily to the music. Hell, even the guitar sounds like, well, I was playing. Notes are being missed... and the guitar players look as into this performance as I am. What a terrible performance this is... and the coverage is showing "canned" reactions from planted audience members who are just so thrilled to be close enough to men who started playing music nationally decades before they were even born. As the title says... wake me when this performance is over.
Commercials
The AmeriQuest commercial "Don't judge too quickly" where the wife and daughter come in to see two doctors who seem to have just shocked the man--"That killed him"--made me laugh out loud! That commercial was hilarious!
The Bud Light commercials, as well, continue to be good but not necessarily news worthy.
The AmeriQuest commercial "Don't judge too quickly" where the wife and daughter come in to see two doctors who seem to have just shocked the man--"That killed him"--made me laugh out loud! That commercial was hilarious!
The Bud Light commercials, as well, continue to be good but not necessarily news worthy.
Commercials
Is it just me, or does V for Vendetta look like a super amazing movie? Wasn't that supposed to come out last year? Anyone?
The Diet Pepsi and Burger King commercials have both been stupid. I heard a marketing expert say that the Burger King commercial was going to be THE big commercial this year. I think that expert is a moron.
Is it just me, or does V for Vendetta look like a super amazing movie? Wasn't that supposed to come out last year? Anyone?
The Diet Pepsi and Burger King commercials have both been stupid. I heard a marketing expert say that the Burger King commercial was going to be THE big commercial this year. I think that expert is a moron.
FOOTBALL GAG!!!
Tom Brady is flipping the coin at Superbowl XL??! Who thought of that shitty-poop-crappy-poop idea? Tom Brady...? Isn't he busy getting surgery on his hernia? Isn't he busy looking like a huge choch in a velvet suit and unbuttoned shirt? What a jerk! I hope his head falls off!
Commercials
In other news, the "I'm going to Disney World" commercial with players from both teams practicing the line is cute. The best commercial so far.
Tom Brady is flipping the coin at Superbowl XL??! Who thought of that shitty-poop-crappy-poop idea? Tom Brady...? Isn't he busy getting surgery on his hernia? Isn't he busy looking like a huge choch in a velvet suit and unbuttoned shirt? What a jerk! I hope his head falls off!
Commercials
In other news, the "I'm going to Disney World" commercial with players from both teams practicing the line is cute. The best commercial so far.
FOOTBALL XL Pre-Game Show
Superbowl XL is finally here! Detroit has put its best foot forward, certainly... but they're still not the city Chicago would be as host of a Superbowl--but what can be? (Hint: Only Chicago) Of course, instead of having a tribute to Motown during the actual half-time celebration... the Superbowl "heads" thought a pre-game tribute would be good enough. Good thinking... who wants to see the host city be in control of all the entertainment? (Hint: everyone)
I sit anxiously awaiting the Rolling Stone's half-time performance. I've been having trouble sleeping lately... and am sure the Stones will cure what ails me. (This is a joke... But it is important to note that Stevie Wonder could have easily been the Superbowl Half-time show and no one would have complained. A British band? Please. Tell them to go back across the pond and watch soccer.)
Superbowl XL is finally here! Detroit has put its best foot forward, certainly... but they're still not the city Chicago would be as host of a Superbowl--but what can be? (Hint: Only Chicago) Of course, instead of having a tribute to Motown during the actual half-time celebration... the Superbowl "heads" thought a pre-game tribute would be good enough. Good thinking... who wants to see the host city be in control of all the entertainment? (Hint: everyone)
I sit anxiously awaiting the Rolling Stone's half-time performance. I've been having trouble sleeping lately... and am sure the Stones will cure what ails me. (This is a joke... But it is important to note that Stevie Wonder could have easily been the Superbowl Half-time show and no one would have complained. A British band? Please. Tell them to go back across the pond and watch soccer.)
PERSONAL The Wardrobe Malfunction
Friday night was closing night of SGAG, my latest level 5 writing show. As the show started--it started with just me on stage as "Fats" (a lounge singer) warming up the crowd with bad stand-up and songs I couldn't finish--I figured it was going to be a good show. The crowd seemed into it and seemed to be actually liking me (which wasn't supposed to happen in that scene but, hey, I'll take it). The song went well and the first scene--a courtroom/courting scene--went swimmingly. Then the second scene came. In that scene, I have a lot of running around, jumping, and general joyful exuberant merriment. The funny thing about doing all of that in dress clothing is that dress clothing is not as flexible as regular clothing. And a non-flexible piece of clothing turns into a ripped piece of clothing. Can you see where this is going? During that scene, while jumping onto the ground and sliding around, my pants ripped. They ripped from knee to crotch. I knew it right when it happened... and my mind raced through possibilities. I didn't have an extra pair of pants (a mistake I'll never make again)... I didn't have tape or safety pins with me... there was nothing I could do but keep going.
NOW... here's the thing about how to successfully negotiate an embarrassing situation. Everyone saw it happen, everyone knew what happened, and everyone was waiting for me to acknowledge it happening. I feel like, in situations like this, you HAVE to acknowledge something that everyone already sees and knows (D McNabb, take note). I also knew that, if I acknowledged it and kept going like a professional, that garners respect and (hopefully) everyone forgets what happened and moves on. That's what the audience needs... closure. So I figured I needed to acknowledge it, give them closure, and move on to the rest of the show. At the end of that scene, I'm supposed to say "Can I stay here and chase rabbits?" but, instead, I said "Can I stay here? I've got some sewing to do." The audience laughed BIG TIME! I had given them their closure... and I figured it was time to move on. But I had bigger problems. How was I going to fix the pants to keep going?
When I went off-stage after that, I was prepared to run as fast as I could backstage to try to find something to fix my pants. Perhaps to the office to see if they had safety pins or tape? It didn't matter, I had to do something! Well, when I went off-stage, one of the writers was waiting for me with some big pieces of black duct tape. She helped me tape up my leg and I went back out there. I knew the audience would laugh at first when they saw my taped up leg... and they did. But I went ahead and kept going as if nothing had happened.
The rest of the show continued as if nothing had happened (only in one other scene did anyone say "nice pants" and the like). At the end of the show, I came out as "Fats" again... this time saying, "Well it's been quiet a ride. We've all learned that wardrobe malfunctions are real." That got a big laugh, too.
As the show ended, and the writers came out for the bow, all of the writers had put large pieces of black duct tape on their pants. I laughed hard and felt so amazingly supported... it was an incredible feeling. After the show, I thanked each of the writers for their support... and they, in turn, wanted to tell me how worried they were when it happened, how scared they were about the rest of the show, how well they feel I handled it, and so on. I think that, if this had happened to me on stage five years ago, I would have freaked out and frozen... not knowing what to do. But, for some reason, I'm comfortable enough with myself and lack of pants to know that I had bigger problems (like making sure these writers get the most out of their $2,000). I hope that the writers feel like they got the best out of this show... and I need new pants.
Friday night was closing night of SGAG, my latest level 5 writing show. As the show started--it started with just me on stage as "Fats" (a lounge singer) warming up the crowd with bad stand-up and songs I couldn't finish--I figured it was going to be a good show. The crowd seemed into it and seemed to be actually liking me (which wasn't supposed to happen in that scene but, hey, I'll take it). The song went well and the first scene--a courtroom/courting scene--went swimmingly. Then the second scene came. In that scene, I have a lot of running around, jumping, and general joyful exuberant merriment. The funny thing about doing all of that in dress clothing is that dress clothing is not as flexible as regular clothing. And a non-flexible piece of clothing turns into a ripped piece of clothing. Can you see where this is going? During that scene, while jumping onto the ground and sliding around, my pants ripped. They ripped from knee to crotch. I knew it right when it happened... and my mind raced through possibilities. I didn't have an extra pair of pants (a mistake I'll never make again)... I didn't have tape or safety pins with me... there was nothing I could do but keep going.
NOW... here's the thing about how to successfully negotiate an embarrassing situation. Everyone saw it happen, everyone knew what happened, and everyone was waiting for me to acknowledge it happening. I feel like, in situations like this, you HAVE to acknowledge something that everyone already sees and knows (D McNabb, take note). I also knew that, if I acknowledged it and kept going like a professional, that garners respect and (hopefully) everyone forgets what happened and moves on. That's what the audience needs... closure. So I figured I needed to acknowledge it, give them closure, and move on to the rest of the show. At the end of that scene, I'm supposed to say "Can I stay here and chase rabbits?" but, instead, I said "Can I stay here? I've got some sewing to do." The audience laughed BIG TIME! I had given them their closure... and I figured it was time to move on. But I had bigger problems. How was I going to fix the pants to keep going?
When I went off-stage after that, I was prepared to run as fast as I could backstage to try to find something to fix my pants. Perhaps to the office to see if they had safety pins or tape? It didn't matter, I had to do something! Well, when I went off-stage, one of the writers was waiting for me with some big pieces of black duct tape. She helped me tape up my leg and I went back out there. I knew the audience would laugh at first when they saw my taped up leg... and they did. But I went ahead and kept going as if nothing had happened.
The rest of the show continued as if nothing had happened (only in one other scene did anyone say "nice pants" and the like). At the end of the show, I came out as "Fats" again... this time saying, "Well it's been quiet a ride. We've all learned that wardrobe malfunctions are real." That got a big laugh, too.
As the show ended, and the writers came out for the bow, all of the writers had put large pieces of black duct tape on their pants. I laughed hard and felt so amazingly supported... it was an incredible feeling. After the show, I thanked each of the writers for their support... and they, in turn, wanted to tell me how worried they were when it happened, how scared they were about the rest of the show, how well they feel I handled it, and so on. I think that, if this had happened to me on stage five years ago, I would have freaked out and frozen... not knowing what to do. But, for some reason, I'm comfortable enough with myself and lack of pants to know that I had bigger problems (like making sure these writers get the most out of their $2,000). I hope that the writers feel like they got the best out of this show... and I need new pants.
Friday, February 03, 2006
FOOTBALL Super-Weekend And A Crazy Pick
This weekend is Superbowl XL (that means forty!). The experts seem to all be picking the Steelers. That's certainly a great pick, after the run the Steelers have had in the playoffs. But here's what I think. I think that the two weeks off have actually HURT the Steelers and helped the Seahawks. The Steelers were on such an unbelievable run at the end of the year because they NEEDED every game... every snap of every game was important. But the Steelers have had two weeks to let the hype catch up with them. They've had two weeks to think "what if we DO win?" They've had two weeks to hear everyone tell them they're the best... but they haven't been playing football. If the Superbowl had been last week, with the Steelers in such a rhythm, Pittsburgh would have won handily. But the rhythm is gone. And, additionally!, the pace of the Superbowl is different. You can't pound a team into submission in the Superbowl... there are two many commercials (special thanks to Eric Allen for pointing this out). The pace of the game favors speed over strength... and, from what I can gather, the Seahawks have amazing speed on defense. Additionally, Detroit is a dome stadium with that synthetic turf and, last time I checked, Seattle plays on turf while Pitt plays on grass. Turf, again, favors speed over strength. As such, if the Seahawks are really as fast as they seem... I think they pull off a Superbowl upset. It will be a close Seattle win (unless Pitt blows them out, which is also a possibility). Let me say this... if Pitt scores the first 10 or 14, they'll win. BUT, if Seattle scores first or keeps it close, I think they pull this game out. And I think they will (but I'll be rooting for my Irish Bettis and the Steelers).
FOOTBALL Is Clinton Portis Handicapable? I Mean, Seriously... ?
On occasion I watch ESPN2s Cold Pizza. On Friday's show--the pre-Superbowl show--Portis was interviewed and asked for his Superbowl pick. Clinton came out as three different characters, each more stupid than the last... and ended up picking both teams to win. This is nothing new for Portis, who would dress up as a different character each Thursday to be interviewed by the media. I never saw those interviews, but thought the idea was cute but lame. Now, having heard him in character, I wonder about his mental capacity. As one of his characters--Sir Lend a Hand (or something)--he had a third hand with a rubber chicken in it. He said something about having to bulk up to be Bettis' back-up and then pretended to bite the chicken. At that point, I ran away and hid until I thought the interview was over. Characters are great... but, please, leave it to the professionals *points to self*
This weekend is Superbowl XL (that means forty!). The experts seem to all be picking the Steelers. That's certainly a great pick, after the run the Steelers have had in the playoffs. But here's what I think. I think that the two weeks off have actually HURT the Steelers and helped the Seahawks. The Steelers were on such an unbelievable run at the end of the year because they NEEDED every game... every snap of every game was important. But the Steelers have had two weeks to let the hype catch up with them. They've had two weeks to think "what if we DO win?" They've had two weeks to hear everyone tell them they're the best... but they haven't been playing football. If the Superbowl had been last week, with the Steelers in such a rhythm, Pittsburgh would have won handily. But the rhythm is gone. And, additionally!, the pace of the Superbowl is different. You can't pound a team into submission in the Superbowl... there are two many commercials (special thanks to Eric Allen for pointing this out). The pace of the game favors speed over strength... and, from what I can gather, the Seahawks have amazing speed on defense. Additionally, Detroit is a dome stadium with that synthetic turf and, last time I checked, Seattle plays on turf while Pitt plays on grass. Turf, again, favors speed over strength. As such, if the Seahawks are really as fast as they seem... I think they pull off a Superbowl upset. It will be a close Seattle win (unless Pitt blows them out, which is also a possibility). Let me say this... if Pitt scores the first 10 or 14, they'll win. BUT, if Seattle scores first or keeps it close, I think they pull this game out. And I think they will (but I'll be rooting for my Irish Bettis and the Steelers).
FOOTBALL Is Clinton Portis Handicapable? I Mean, Seriously... ?
On occasion I watch ESPN2s Cold Pizza. On Friday's show--the pre-Superbowl show--Portis was interviewed and asked for his Superbowl pick. Clinton came out as three different characters, each more stupid than the last... and ended up picking both teams to win. This is nothing new for Portis, who would dress up as a different character each Thursday to be interviewed by the media. I never saw those interviews, but thought the idea was cute but lame. Now, having heard him in character, I wonder about his mental capacity. As one of his characters--Sir Lend a Hand (or something)--he had a third hand with a rubber chicken in it. He said something about having to bulk up to be Bettis' back-up and then pretended to bite the chicken. At that point, I ran away and hid until I thought the interview was over. Characters are great... but, please, leave it to the professionals *points to self*
Thursday, February 02, 2006
NATIONAL "NEWS" It's Groundhog Day... It's Groundhog Day... It's Groundhog Day...
According to the accuracy of a small, gerbil-like rodent, and a dependency on a cloudy or clear day in Pennsylvania... we're going to have 6 more weeks of winter. As far as Chicago is concerned, this January of winter is one of the warmest Januaries on record. If we've got six more weeks of that?... um... big deal. I was actually all ready to say how useless this "holiday" is until I saw this article from Wikipedia. Groundhog day is routed in some real, actual intelligent beliefs... including the fact that Groundhog's day is one of the "quarter days" of the year--the day in the middle of the winter solstice and the spring equinox. The best thing about Groundhog's Day? The movie... which I still find hilarious, no matter how many times I see it. In a row.
According to the accuracy of a small, gerbil-like rodent, and a dependency on a cloudy or clear day in Pennsylvania... we're going to have 6 more weeks of winter. As far as Chicago is concerned, this January of winter is one of the warmest Januaries on record. If we've got six more weeks of that?... um... big deal. I was actually all ready to say how useless this "holiday" is until I saw this article from Wikipedia. Groundhog day is routed in some real, actual intelligent beliefs... including the fact that Groundhog's day is one of the "quarter days" of the year--the day in the middle of the winter solstice and the spring equinox. The best thing about Groundhog's Day? The movie... which I still find hilarious, no matter how many times I see it. In a row.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
PERSONAL The IQ Test
As part of my new campaign to find me a job, today I posted my resume on Monster.com. On the Monster "My Monster" page, there is a link to a self-assessment test called "What's your IQ?" It's a question I've often asked myself... except I substitute the word "my" for "your." Regardless, I spent some time this morning taking the test here. Now I have no idea how accurate this test is or the resulting... results are, but it's the first time in a long time that I've taken an IQ test and am fully willing to believe the results if they are positive. No matter how ridiculous those results might be. And those results?
My IQ (apparently) is 131. The blurb they gave me after the test is this: "Your Intellectual Type is Visionary Philosopher. This means you are highly intelligent and have a powerful mix of skills and insight that can be applied in a variety of different ways. Like Plato, your exceptional math and verbal skills make you very adept at explaining things to others and at anticipating and predicting patterns. And that's just some of what we know about you from your IQ results." Ego stroked. They also give you a 15-page report, if you're willing to pay $13 OR are willing to sign up for a whole bunch of email/junk mail stuff. I tried to work my way around it... but was unable to. So I'm left with the score and the blurb. Oh well... I'm smart enough to figure out the rest myself *wink*
As part of my new campaign to find me a job, today I posted my resume on Monster.com. On the Monster "My Monster" page, there is a link to a self-assessment test called "What's your IQ?" It's a question I've often asked myself... except I substitute the word "my" for "your." Regardless, I spent some time this morning taking the test here. Now I have no idea how accurate this test is or the resulting... results are, but it's the first time in a long time that I've taken an IQ test and am fully willing to believe the results if they are positive. No matter how ridiculous those results might be. And those results?
My IQ (apparently) is 131. The blurb they gave me after the test is this: "Your Intellectual Type is Visionary Philosopher. This means you are highly intelligent and have a powerful mix of skills and insight that can be applied in a variety of different ways. Like Plato, your exceptional math and verbal skills make you very adept at explaining things to others and at anticipating and predicting patterns. And that's just some of what we know about you from your IQ results." Ego stroked. They also give you a 15-page report, if you're willing to pay $13 OR are willing to sign up for a whole bunch of email/junk mail stuff. I tried to work my way around it... but was unable to. So I'm left with the score and the blurb. Oh well... I'm smart enough to figure out the rest myself *wink*
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