Even without a job, some days I just need to take off
First thing's first... I have seen a lot of bad, local TV commercials here in Chicago. It's almost as if they try LESS hard than local Big Rapids/Mecosta County commercials... which is a scary thought. But the Chicago Music Exchange commercials are the exception. They are funny... and I don't mind whenever they come on. The tag-line is "For the guitar obsessed", kay? Alright, so there's one where a guy is playing a wicked electric guitar solo and then smashes the guitar. He then turns to a guy who works there and says "I'll take it." There's another one where a guy is playing the WORST guitar part I've ever heard (even worse than Ken's House... and that was shit on a stick). But he's got a song to match... it's sung horribly off-key and he sings something like "My love is like a salad, with an extra cruton... I'll take you back to my place, and we'll sleep on my futon". He puts the guitar down, and the guy who works there comes in with a huge, thick glove and grabs the guitar, takes it out back, and dumps it into a chipper. But the reason I brought this up is that they have a new one. A guy plays a pretty sweet guitar solo, puts the guitar down, and leaves out the front glass door. Then the workers start clapping... and cheering... and more clapping... and they start yelling "encore"... and then we see the guy come back up to the glass door, enter, and pick the guitar back up. Even though I could tell what was coming... it was still funny, because we can see that the costumer is hesitant to come back in through the glass door... and then he gives a little wave, and sits back down with the guitar.

Okay, so as you may have guessed, I did a lot of TV watching today. I call it "staying in" when I just don't feel like dealing with other people or the cold. There are days when I feel like this... where I just don't want anything to do with the "outside world". On these days, I can't help but feel a constant guilt... like I shouldn't be isolating myself; that I should be out "doing" something; that I should be spending time with people, etc. So, today, I told myself to just forget the guilt and go ahead and take a day to myself. I think the weekends of performances and the other days of rehearsals and class have worn me out a lot more than I let myself believe. So, today, I said "screw it"... let myself sleep in, and sat down to start playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords (yes, that's how long the title actually is).
I loved the first KOTOR game, and KOTOR II (The Sith Lords) seems like it was made specifically for fans of the first game. They are constantly referencing the first game. But, a change from the last game, it seems as though I get to decide my character's back-story. My character (who I named Biggs Steeno this time [I'm so clever!]) fought in the Mandalorian wars which were waged by Jedi who defied the Jedi Council to stop the Mandalorians, a race of aggressive "war mongers" who were taking over the Outer Rim planets. How much of a virgin did that make me sound? Anyway, the Mandalorian wars lead to the Jedi Civil War which is where the first game starts. In the second game, the Jedi Civil War has ended... and most of the Jedi are dead, in hiding, or have become Sith. This is what I hope the third Star Wars movie will include... but my guess is they won't even get to it because they wasted so much fucking time in the first movie with "young Anakin" that we'll never get to the good stuff (I wouldn't put it past Lucus to write Star Wars 3.5, by the way). Regardless, in this game, your character is a Jedi exile who has lost his or her connection with the force... so you don't have any of your cool abilities yet. But the Sith believe you to be the last living Jedi, so they try to kill you and the adventure begins. I don't care how lame this game sounds... I love the crap out of it, and will literally lose entire days of time to playing it. I knew that before I even started that I would lose entire days to this game... I think I spent somewhere around 60 (sixty!) hours on the first one, and I still never took the time to beat the final boss dude. I just played up until that point, got my ass kicked about five times, and stopped. I guess I'm not persistent? Or maybe I'm not virtual persistent? I don't know. But one of the reasons my character couldn't beat the last dude was that my character (Wedge Steeno) was built to take out groups of enemies with two other characters aiding him. And, with two other characters, my guy just runs up to one of them and starts hacking away at them with his two light-sabers... he was AWESOME. It's just this one on one shit that Wedge is not about. So I'm making sure to build this character, Biggs, with the idea that a one on one battle is probably coming at the end, and my dude needs to be self-sufficient enough to handle it.

Another good reason to take a "day off" everything is that I finally figured something out today. What I figured out has to do with me getting a job... and why it's so hard for me to be motivated to go out and get another one. It's because my last job ended like a bad break-up, but worse. I guess I never really let myself realize how traumatized I was by what happened until today: one of the reasons I'm not looking for a job is that I'm worried, in the back of my head, that it's going to end as badly as the last job did. It's just like what happens after a bad break-up! I'm worried that I'm going to put my time and energy into something new and it's just going to end up being messy and painful. I don't want to put myself through that again, so I am hesitant to even look. The good news here is this: now that I've figured out my problem, I've already asked two people here to be my references for jobs; I've started updating my resume; and I've picked out the jobs in the Reader that sound like they'll best suit me. I just hope that with my resume being as quasi-impressive as it is, the people hiring for these crappy, part-time office assistant jobs won't think that I'm "over qualified" for anything. I hate the idea that someone can be "over qualified" for a job. Shouldn't it be my choice as to whether I want to "lower" myself to whatever work it is? *sigh* I just want a job I can do for a few hours and then leave. Is that too much to ask?

#5 Worst of 2004 - My Bosses Vacation This is exactly what I don't want now. The week that *insert name of former boss* went on vacation for a week in late February and early March was a terrible week for me. Making all the decisions; having us run out of so much of the inventory; having unreliable workers... I guess it was simply a sign of things to come. The Sunday of her vacation was one of the worst days of my "professional" life... finding me on my knees praying for divine intervention by the end of the day. While I learned a few things about customers that day... I should have learned not to care so damn much about a stupid ice cream job. I learned that eventually... but not before having one of the worst weeks ever.

The Half-Blood Prince
Tonight was Writing Five rehearsal week 3. I was surprised to see a couple of the people off-book already. If by "surprised" I meant "made to feel guilty" then I was right. It's weird, while I understand wanting to get off-book as soon as possible, I think it's a stupid idea to get off-book this early. Reason 1) As we're trying to learn blocking, you're going to try to be off book? I think that's a little too much for one person's mind to take. Besides, there were a couple times, in one scene, when I didn't get my cue to fall because Jen was trying to be off-book already. Reason 2) The writers aren't done with re-writes. I'm not averse to adding or taking out a line or two... but we're talking, in some cases, about whole half-pages changing--dialog added or subtracted or changed--and it's just not worth it to me to invest that much mental energy to memorize when I might have to re-learn it in another week or two. I think, after this next rehearsal when all (or most) of the scenes are blocked is when I'll start memorizing. But I hate trying to memorize before I can see the blocking in my head. I just can't do it. Additionally, this week begins a few weeks of long periods of sitting and waiting while other scenes are being blocked. So there were a few times during the rehearsal where I sat and watched for a while. Add to all this my realization that I've skipped the "trying to be nice so Kim will like me" phase, and gone straight into the "I'm going to be playfully mean to you because I know we won't ever date" phase. There were a few times tonight when I found myself thinking "what am I SAYING? That's not very nice! Lay off, ass!" In addition to the addition, Jen, one of the actors in the show, is psychotic. She paces back and forth before rehearsal and then stretches... she doesn't talk to anyone, but rather, spends her time saying her lines out loud in a mumbling fashion like a real psychopath. This, in my opinion, wouldn't be so bad if she was a good, solid method actress. But she's not. She's one of those "look at me I'm ACTING!" actresses. I've had this conversation multiple times, and I know it's a "style" of dramatic acting but it's an easy style and something I'm not all that interested in seeing on stage... um... ever. So it'll be really interesting to see how (or if) I work well with her on stage. My guess is that it's going to be a challenge. And it'll also be a challenge for me to act as though I'm receiving fellatio on stage. Um... yeah. Challenging and embarrassing. Right.

While on Amazon.com today, I found something interesting: Book 6! The Half-Blood Prince is scheduled to be released in mid-July of this year... which seems quick to me, since book 5 took Rowling like eight years to write. And I don't care if this sounds lame or not, but I can't wait for book 6 to come out. I will, most probably, have to reread book 5 again before six come out. And, hell, we might even see book 4, The Goblet of Fire, on the silver screen before the next book comes out. I love Harry Potter books and I don't care who knows it!

#5 Post of 2004 - Laura's Villanelle Speaking of Laura (what? Oh, Harry Potter... I get it now), the fifth best post of 2004 is without-a-doubt the villanelle I blogged on July 4th. Yes, I know that I didn't initially write it just for this blog, but I definitely finished it just for this blog. And the villanelle form is a difficult one, even if it didn't look like it was all that hard to do. Or even if it didn't look good. Or even if it was a shitty poem. Regardless of all this, it was hard, but I did it, and I like it. *wipes brow* Celebrate small victories!

Surprise Visits!
This afternoon, I watched the Eagles/ViQueens whilst catching up on the ol' blog. First of all, Freddie Mitchell made me say "holy shit" out loud twice in the game. Secondly, I will say this now: The Falcons can beat the Eagles. I think the Falcons are a better team than the Owens-less Eagles. And, if the Falcons can 1) Protect Michael Vick and 2) Score first and keep the lead through the first half, the Falcons WILL win. Those two things I mentioned are HUGE though. Either one of those is a reason the Eagles can win. If the Falcons get behind, and Vick has to try to catch up by passing, the Eagles will win. But if the Falcons run the ball, and can keep Vick from getting KILLED by the Eagles aggressive, blitzing defense... the Falcons should waltz into the Super Bowl.

As I was watching the Colts/Patriots, it became pretty obvious to me that the Patriots were clearly the better team. You simply can not run the ball against this defense. Either side OR straight up the middle, it doesn't matter. Even a great running game like the Colts' with James was so completely unable to run the ball on the Patriots. It's also clear to me that I HATE the Patriots, and ESPECIALLY Tom Brady. I feel pretty bad for Peyton Manning, too (whom I like). Favre and my Packers know exactly how you feel. During the mid-90s, the Packers had to go to Dallas to play the Cowboys what seemed like every year. And every year we got smacked around by the Cowboys. And I hated the Cowboys SO much. Under Mike Holmgren, the Packers went to Dallas and lost in 1993, 1994 twice, 1995 twice, and 1996 TWICE before playing them in Green Bay and winning in 1997 (in a game my father and I attended! W00t!). That's 0-7 Favre vs Cowboys... so don't worry, Peyton. You'll do it eventually. When you play the Patriots in Indy.

Tonight was week three of Basically Awesome! The interesting news that we got as my crew got to the Skybox to rehearse was that we were effectively sold-out. We had been sold-out, in that they were taking no more pre-sales... but they were going to be taking some walk-up ticket sales. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, the show went pretty well, but we were second again this week. And, after watching the tight, funny, and experienced Poppyseed Lane crew, our show is less than spectacular by comparison. But, I'm learning that we can have a better show on stage, and the audience can react to it less enthusiastically. A run of shows is an interesting thing... to be sure. So much to learn. Anyway, after the show I took my sweet time getting out to greet people because I had no one to greet. Boy can I be wrong sometimes. Waiting outside was Mr. James P. Shilander! With a surprise visit! He came up to see the show, and then spend some time with his brother. He's delayed on his move to DC, and--in the meantime--is sending out resumes and seeing my show! Hooray! We talked for a bit, but then had to go our separate ways. He to his brother's, me to a bar (of course!).

#6 Best of 2004 - Visits and Surprise Visits to Chicago!!! How apropos! The sixth best thing about 2004 was all the visits and especially the surprise visits by my friends to Chicago. Sarah, Amber, and Randi came to see one of my shows; Nick showed up out of the blue; Nate came at the beginning of the year; Ken was here in 2004; Jason came up to hang out a bit; Jim was here to pick me up at, seemingly, just the right times; and then my parents came to see my shows and take me places and buy me things. Moving to a new place is... well... scary. It's hard, too... to not know anyone. It's even harder if you aren't in school (I'm taking a university with thousands of people, not my classes of 12 or less) or have a job, so that meeting new people is difficult and tedious. This makes it even MORE important for friends and family to show support by showing up... asking how things are going... and buying me food (heehee). But, seriously, moving to a place where you don't know anyone, don't have a job yet, and aren't forced to live with other people (like college)... is very difficult. So having people visit me while I was trying to transition from old life to new was very important to me. It really helped... probably more than I could express here on this ol' blog. Thank you, everyone.

The Jets taketh and the Jets giveth away
With very little time left in the fourth quarter, the Jets looked as if they were going to use special teams and defense to literally PRY the victory from the "more deserving/better" Steelers. But I have tasted the pain of the Jets fans. Mike, from Mankind and Mockupations, is a huge Jets fan so, even though I like the Steelers more, I wouldn't have hated a Jets win. I was basically rooting for both teams. Anyway, even though it looked like the Steelers were the better team, the Jets were going to win. And then, it what seems like typical Jets fashion, the Jets gave the game right back, missing two long, but make-able field goals. The Steelers then used a very good run game to pound the ball down the field and take the win. I LOVE strong run games. Passing teams are for sissies... give me a fifteen-play drive of four-yard runs any day. That's smash-mouth football... old school, baby! WOOO!

Hey! Did you see that Family Guy is back on FOX. If I was the creators of Family Guy, there's no way I'd go back to FOX after they cancelled me. I'd be too petty... because I'm a petty person. While I'm excited about seeing the Family Guy back on FOX... there is a part of me that says "FOX had their shot at this show and they cancelled it..." you know?I just hope they let the show do what the show can do. Because everyone behind that show (especially Seth MacFarlane) is brilliant.

Hey! Speaking of TV, have you seen the Elektra commercial that says "In Daredevil, she fought to the death". What it should say is: "In Daredevil, she died like a bitch" I mean, did you see that movie? I saw it because it was on HBO. First of all, being able to "see" what Daredevil hears is so stupid. That was someone's lame artistic decision... "hey! we should do something visual so that everyone can see what Daredevil sees!" While I understand that decision, it's not necessary. We all understand that he's blind... he doesn't need to "see" his environment. Whatever. Regardless, Elektra dies like a little bitch in that movie. It's not even a really good fight scene... she's just, like, standing around and "oops! I'm dead!" I hope Elektra is as critically bashed as Basically Awesome was.

I taped the Falcons/Rams game so that I could watch it later. And, after watching it... I have to say that I really like the Falcons chances this year. And it doesn't have a lot to do with Michael Vick, either (although he doesn't hurt). The year the Packers won the Super Bowl, these are the little things that I remember being important: being able to create a pass rush with the front four defensive lineman; being able to stop the run; winning the turnover differencial; being able to run the football and control the time of possession; having a great kick/punt return team. And all those things I saw from the Falcons in the Rams game. Unfortunately for the Falcons, it looks like Michael Vick would rather run the ball than throw it. On almost every play, if there's a pass rush he's looking to run. Even though Vick is BY FAR the greatest athlete in the league, he's not the best Quarterback. If the Falcons lose, it will be because they get behind in a game and are forced to have Vick throw to get back in the game. But those little things I mentioned can/will allow a team to beat any other team in the league. And the amount of yard they got in the run game was unbelievable! Remember Warrick Dunn? He's still good. BTW Thanks Green Bay for firing Ed Donatell. What a great move that was. *sarcasm*

Finally, tonight, I should mention that it was Mockupations' Opening Night. I originally put an exclamation point at the end of that sentence, but I have to be honest with you: I wasn't all that excited about the show. As we were warming up and stuff, I just felt tired. And, as we were about to go on... when I'm normally so nervous I want to throw up, tonight I felt absolutely nothing. Even the fact that we pre-sold 85 tickets... basically pre-selling out the show, couldn't get me excited to perform this show. It's so blue... and the humor is so base... it's hard for me to wrap my head around it being worth it to perform. Who's mind am I expanding during "fart closet"? What lessons are we teaching with bowling balls = testicle puns? I mean, why am I even doing this? The good news was that the show went pretty well. The bad news is that the audience wasn't as "into" it as they should have been, given that there were SO MANY people in the audience. I felt so numb about it. And, I've talked to Keith about it, there are two things I learned from this specific performance: 1) The audience needs blackouts. Even if the actors don't, the audience needs to know they can clap... and needs to feel like they can take a breath and relax for a second. Believe it or not, an audience is easily overwhelmed during a comedy show... they feel like they're laughing hard (if you do it right) and they need to take a break for a second to catch their breath. 2) If I feel like what I'm doing isn't important... if I feel like there's nothing intellectual in the show... it's hard for me to invest something emotionally in the show. That's it! I have nothing emotionally invested in this show... so I can't get nervous about it or, frankly, even care if it goes well, because this show isn't connected to any of my emotions. Whoops... sorry Joe and everyone who wrote for this show. Maybe, if I think about it, I can invest something in that I like the writers and want the show to go well because I want them to be happy. We'll see.

#6 Worst of 2004 - Whiny Bitchwork OR Opening Coldstone on North Avenue Ah... now we start getting into the Coldstone stuff, huh? Yep. And here we go... When I was put in charge of some of the more subtle, yet "important" things relating to the opening of North Avenue (like getting someone to put in the phone lines, and sitting around all day for inspectors), I hated it, but I at least understood why it was me and not anyone else who was supposed to be there to make those decisions. BUT, when it became clear that I was making all the decisions--helping with the training of all the new employees; having the architect and the area developers ask my opinion; making sure the store was well stocked with IC, mix-ins, and all the utensils, office supplies and equipment, and tools we needed--I got pretty pissed. That should NOT have been my responsibility. "Hey you, kid who has a shitty job title (Assistant)... make all the decisions to open a store!" Um... no! Give me a better job title, give me a raise, or someone else make all these damn decisions. I would have taken any of those three (yes, even the better title without the raise). But after a solid month of 14-16 hour days, most days of the week, with little to no help or even communication from my "superiors", I had seriously had it with the way that company was using me. My only regret in what happened after this is the WAY it all ended... but not THAT it ended. But I'll get to that more later, won't I?

On most days I come up with a clever title. This is not most days
Today was almost a lazy day. I was able to spend huge chucks of time playing Prince of Persia and Madden 2005, but I also cleaned my apartment, folded laundry, cleaned all my dishes, and looked for job openings in the Reader. For some stupid reason, it's taken me weeks of "meaning to get to that" before I was able to do those simple tasks. I've been thinking that, lately, it takes me at least twice as long to finish simple tasks as it takes most people. I guess I'm not really motivated to do anything besides write stuff that's funny and watch football. *shakes head* It's very odd, I find. I haven't gone grocery shopping in at least a month... living off the loot my mom gave me the last time I was home, and misc. non-perishables like oatmeal, rice, and pasta. I figure, I've got to eat this stuff sometime anyway, why not just go through it now? But that's me being lazy... as I should really get to the store and get some cereal and fruit and other stuff that I've been out of for a while. *sigh* You know I'm not going to go, right? I suck.

Speaking of, tonight was the second week of Mankind: And Other Oxymorons. Again this week, no one I know came. Not a big deal, however, as it seems NO ONE is getting people to come to this show. We had a grand total of 18 in the audience this week. If we keep doubling our audience, we might have a full house by closing night. Or we might have an audience of people who think the show sucks... because it pretty much does. I feel SO BAD for the actors. I wish we could have had better scenes... but we don't. We've only got five writers: one of them (*cough* Chris *cough*) isn't funny at all; Adam has funnier stuff than what he wanted in the show; Jim's scenes are good... but are being 'over-acted' by the actors; Heidi's scenes are "funny" in a very subtle and perhaps not even funny way' and one of my scenes is funny but short... and the other one is not being acted very well. So there's the show... it's basically a big pile of poop. And it's tough for me to really "force" people to come see a show that I think is feces, even if I did write part of it. And, honestly, I think the actors aren't trying to get people to come to the show either. I think the actors think the show isn't very good and they stopped caring about it a while ago. Hell, I stopped caring about it a while ago. I'm not sure who cares about this show anymore. That's a problem I seem to be running into lately. Moron that later.

#6 Post of 2004 - All the Dream Posts! I'm really glad that I started blogging my dreams last year. It seems like every writing instructor I've ever had has told me that writing down your dreams is a really good idea. For... some... reason... that I don't think I've ever heard. There must be some reason. Anyway, I'm glad I started doing it because now we know all about my zombie "thing", my wish for Martha Stewart as my mother, and that I have dreamed about dating and being in love with a porn star. Wait... I didn't post that one. Okay. So this is the short version: I was in love with a porn star. Honestly in love. "She met my parents" in love. And I didn't care she was a porn star which is SO unlike me because I'm possessive and jealous and a small, weak man. How did I get here? Anyway... dreams are great, and I've started remembering some of them since I decided to write them down (which is nice because I've gone entire years without remembering dreams before). And, from what I hear, writing down your dreams is a great exercise if you want to be a writer. For some reason.

I'M SHALLOW!
I have been putting off reordering checks for at least a month because I'm not really sure how one goes about reordering checks. So I haven't wanted to go to the bank and ask them what to do like an idiot... but I am an idiot, and I needed someone to tell me what to do. I actually decided to go to the website and see if I could at least get some kind of information so that I wasn't completely ignorant when I went to ask what to do. The interesting thing (not really interesting) is that I don't know how to check my account online. I'm not sure if there's something I need to type in, or something I need to set up at the bank, or anything... I don't know anything, really. Not knowing anything ever, I wisely decided to find all the loot they gave me when I set up my account there, to see if they gave me something that tells me how to set up my account online. As is my lot in life, through my infinite stupidity came true enlightenment. I didn't find anything that told me how to set up my account online, but I did find something that told me how to reorder checks online or by phone. Since the online thing was still confusing me, I decided to just call someone. After punching in about thirty numbers, I actually got a real live human being on the other end of the phone. His name was Bob... and, at one point he called me "buddy." Very friendly young man, he was. We're good friends.
With my new-found banking prowess, I actually went to the bank to deposit some money my parents gave me for Christmas. The good news: they gave me a lot of money. The bad news: with buying stuff for Christmas AND the amount of my normal monthly bills, I've pretty much already spent it all. It was coming to this realization that has solidified my need for a job. Any job. The weird thing is that it's not even as if I WANT a job. I want money... but I don't want to work. This is SUCH a change from last year when I desperately wanted a job... and I felt like a complete waste without the job. Right now, I don't even feel like I'm bored without a job. I have so much going on every night that I'm still doing stuff every day. I've got rehearsals, class, and performances that fill my week. I'm not bored! I don't want a damn job, damnit! But I need money... *sigh*
To make me feel better, today I started playing Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time again. I bought it MONTHS ago and only played it for about fifteen minutes before I started doing something else. I really enjoy this game because the story is so INTERESTING... it reminds me of Eternal Darkness in that I want to keep playing the game, not necessarily because of the gameplay, but because I really want to know what happens next. The gameplay of Prince of Persia isn't bad, either. The Prince has some sweet-ass moves... but even something cool like running up a wall and jumping to a ladder whilst avoiding saw blades and spikes gets old if you have to go it six or seven times to get it right. If you get something like that right the first time, you go "Whoa! Sweet moves!" If you have to wait until the sixth time, you say "About darn time! Geez!" For only $20 on most systems, it's worth checking out if you like platformers (Ken?).

Tonight I went to see The Second City e.t.c show: From Fear To Eternity. It's a little more "common" Second City show than the mainstage show... and I still really liked it. Jen Bills is awesome, again... and everyone in the show seemed to add something unique and hilarious. There's a guy they got from the Second City Las Vegas stage, and he's AWESOME! He's new to the cast, but he's going... um... somewhere. I don't know where he's going, but it's up. He's good.

After the show, I came back to my apartment and started messing around with Launch Music @ Yahoo! Launch is a music provider that shows music videos for free. You can also, if you have a yahoo ID, rate the music so that only your top music plays and everything you say "never show again" never gets shown again. In theory, I guess. Because I watched it for a while, scoring the music videos and stuff, and then it showed a couple of artists I scored as "never show again" (like Ashlee Simpson). But it IS nice to see all the videos that the kids are talking about now-a-days. BTW, I only went there to see Lindsey Lohan. I know she can't sing, and I hear she's a bitch... but I like to look at her, because I'm shallow and she's pretty!

#7 Best of 2004 - The Year Of The Blog! Oh yes, kiddies. 2004 was not only a full year of this here blog, but others as well. I feel as though this blog gave metaphoric, or maybe verbal, birth to at least half a dozen other blogs. And, like all parents should be, I'm very proud of my babies. But in 2004, I have watched them be born, breathe, and--in some cases--already die. It's hard to write about yourself every day, huh kids? This has just stiffened my resolve to keep this blog as up-to-date as possible. Regardless... I added some great stuff to the ol' blog in 2004, and my writing has (at least, I think) improved in the year. Allow me to congratulate everyone who has at least attempted to keep a blog in 2004... keep trying! It's fun!!! And everyone loves to read them, and then not respond if you ask specific, fun questions like "what's your favorite post of mine?" or "what do you think of this thing I wrote?", but they WILL reply VEHEMENTLY if you say that all women are lazy and useless. Even though it's true. Oh yes... I've learned a few things about this "blog" business in the past year. I'm so old! Blogs are great!!!

I got an email from Dr. Horstman today, saying that the picture of "us" was on the Albion College website. I'm pretty sure I'm the blond on the far right. Bleached hair... what a queer!
Posted by Hello

Now for the actual January 12th post!
Hey y'all. I spent much of the morning catching up on HomestarRunner and Red vs. Blue "cartoons." They're both hilarious websites... and HomestarRunner has only gotten funnier since I last saw it. Red vs Blue was funny the first season, but it got crappy in the second season and I stopped going to the website. But I went back and saw what they've done for the third season... and they got back to being clever. So good for them. And if you stopped going to that website like me (Ken), go back and check out the third season.
Today I also got a weird call from Emily. I saw weird not because I answered it, but because she left a really weird message. Like "Hey... let's get a cup of coffee sometime" and I sat there, listening to the message and thought to myself "what the fizzle?" I mean, it literally came out of nowhere... because I haven't tried to contact her in months. Isn't it odd how people's minds work? *nods* It is. And don't worry, dear reader... even if you haven't tried to contact me in months, I'm thinking about you. All the time. Did you buy that? Good.
Speaking of weird Chicago occurrences, it's sixty-five degrees in Chicago!!! I know! I don't get it either. But it's thunderstorming/raining out... and, from what I hear, people all over the greater Chicago area are having problems with flooding from the rain plus the melting snow. What weird weather we get here in Chicago!
This has nothing to do with anything, but I hear that the government has new Dietary guidelines. This equals changes to the food pyramid! It's already different from the food pyramid I learned as a young lad... but now it's completely different. One of the big changes is that they've done away with the "serving size" thing that no one understood. That's a good thing, except we all got used to the serving size thing. I suppose this is the same thing as that whole metric system deal--it will be better for us in the long run... but I'm an American and I like what I know, damnit! Additionally, the government is now saying 4 1/2 cups of fruit and vegetables (CNN said that would be like NINE of the serving sizes we're used to) per DAY. Nine servings a DAY! Hey Zeus Christi that's a lot! In the immortal words of Dave Atell, "I like tattoos because they don't belong on your body but you put them there... to say something about yourself. Much like my layers and layers of fat. This shit doesn't belong on a human body, but I put it there to say something about myself. You know what it says? I don't like fruit. I don't like it!"

Tonight I had Mockupations rehearsal. We started with a speed-through of lines... and then we went through the whole show in one of the classrooms. And because today was freakishly hot... and big buildings have trouble shutting off heat once it gets going... it was very very warm in Piper's Alley. I mean, all three of us male actors were sweating pretty badly during the classroom run. After we finished one run-through, we got notes and then headed out into the lobby, which was cooler than the classrooms. We had to stay because tonight was also our tech rehearsal.
By the time we got to the actual tech rehearsal, all the actors were SO tired. Amanda was actually sleeping at one point in the lobby. I don't know what it was, but we ALL got really tired. Maybe it was the heat. I don't know. But, instead of going from cue to cue, we ran the whole damn show AGAIN. We were SO tired by the end of rehearsal, we could have fallen asleep in a heap on stage. Thankfully Mike gave me a ride home, or else I would've had to sleepy-walk back.
Hey... there is some good news! I actually seem to have some good press for a show I'm in. Too bad it's not a Chicago paper. Joe, the writer of Mockupations, had a Milwaukee paper interview him for an article. YOU can find it here. That's all I've got.

#7 Worst of 2004 - The End Of The Second City Writing Program This is also known as my writing five show. "Why is this so terrible?" you ask. "It didn't sound so bad in the past, why is this on the list?" Well, dear reader, here's the thing. I spent one year, and over a thousand dollars on the Second City writing program... and it's culmination, the zenith (if you will), is the Writing Five show. One would THINK that this would be the most satisfying part of the whole program... finally getting your writing on stage. But one would be wrong. I started being disappointed in Level 4 when MT sucked the fun out of my sketches... and then the sketches that I DID want in the show didn't get it. I got one of them in (Jeff's Ark) but not the other ones. And then MT allowed the writers WAY too much freedom creatively. It's almost as if she didn't want the responsibility of directing everything, so she asked the writers what they wanted way too often. And dipshits like Chris jumped at the opportunity to fuck with every aspect of his scene. I was very VERY disappointed with the end of my writing classes at The Second City. Oh well... it looks good on a resume, at the very least.

"A LETTER TO PRESIDENT BUSH - FOR THE BIBLICALLY IMPAIRED"
This is something I got from my sister. It's clever. Check it out:

"Dear President Bush:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would
propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex
marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a
man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I
can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it
to be an abomination... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements
of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

3. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors.
They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

4. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

5. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees'
of abomination?

6. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have
a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.
Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

7. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
19:27. How should they die?

8. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

9. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to
death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep
with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can
help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,
-signed-
Barbara Goldenhersh, PhD
Educational Consultant"

This is the Basically Awesome show poster. We've got a Dr. Seuss theme because there's kind of a Dr. Seuss inspired theme to a song in it. Adam designed and drew this poster. He went to Art School. He is better than you are.
Posted by Hello

People of Michigan Unite! and buy each other Diet Cokes!
This morning, I finally saw the movie The Big Lebowski. I rather enjoyed that movie, actually... as there are some gratuitous philosophy parts in it. It just proved to me that you can have almost any character be a philosopher... and it seems to work because every character has a philosophy to life.
As for my philosophy? It's summed up while The Dude and Walter are in the funeral home, with the writing on the wall:
"As for man, his days are as
grass,
As a flower of the field, so he
flourisheth,
for the wind passeth over it,
and it is gone." - Psalm 103.15
I really don't think that's my philosophy, but I thought I'd share that with you. Very metaphoric, no? My philosophy actually comes from Marx: "You're only as old as the woman you feel." That was Groucho Marx, not Karl.
I also spent a lot of time this morning catching up on the ol' blog. I wonder if people check to see if I've posted anything new from a few days ago... or if they just check to see if the top post is new? *shrug* I never check to see if subsequent posts are new on other people's blogs... but most people don't try to post every day like I do. I guess that makes me better than everyone, doesn't it? (Hint: Yes)

By the way, whatever happened to the John that hates people? I mention this because, this evening I was in the Second City Training Center lobby, waiting for Keith, and I overheard someone say they were from Grand Valley State University. So I interrupted, and flat out told them I was eavesdropping and then I started a conversation with the whole table. Turns out they are a Level A Improv class (meaning they all just started this loot). I called them "Chris and the Level A Improv class" because Chris is the only one who took the effort to introduce himself. Does that make me an ass, or does that make everyone but Chris an ass for not introducing themselves? I'm not sure. But I do know that I hit the entire group up to come see the Basically Awesome show. Pretty neat, huh?
I was waiting for Keith because we had decided to finally go see the Second City mainstage show. Our Level C instructor, Claudia, finally made the mainstage... and we've been meaning to go see it ever since the current show, Red Scare, has gone up. Claudia was awesome... as were all the members of the mainstage cast. And, even though the new set cuts the playing space in half, I really didn't miss it. They seemed to do a lot with a little... even setting up that there could be infinite universes out there (I kid you not), and that someone from another universe could exist in the same space and time... but be invisible to us in this universe. Not only was that interesting, they set themselves up to be able to run a transition from one scene to the next by allowing other characters to exist in the same space, but not be acknowledged by the members of the current scene. Ingenious, huh?
Keith, however, could only stay for the first half. He had to catch the train back out to Aurora. I feel bad for him, because the tickets are $18... and he only got to see half the show. Furthermore, the theatre was sold-out, so I had to pay to get in to. Sold out on a Tuesday night in January? Yeah... I think even the mainstagers didn't think it was going to happen. So Keith left, and I was left sitting at a table with two older women, whose names I found out were Susan and Karen. Remember how I started this huge block of text with me not hating people? Yeah... so I started talking to these ladies and I found out that Susan was from Mt. Pleasant and LOVES Michigan... so we talked about Michigan for a while. And then she mentioned she was a family therapist... so I was not surprised when she started asking me questions about myself and about how supportive my parents are, etc. I just kept talking... openly and honestly about my situation. Why not? And it seemed they enjoyed the conversation SO much that I got a free soda-pop out of the deal (Susan insisted on buying me something).

#7 Post of 2004 - Onion Headlines and Fake Movie Trivia! I was obviously going to put these two on the list somewhere. Both the Onion Headlines (posted March 10th) and the Fake Movie Trivia (posted November 3rd) were written for some other reason, but I DID put a lot of thought and creativity into them... so they're here because that creativity level is exactly what this "best of posts" list is all about. The best news about these two: Both are exercises that you can do at home! Go ahead and try it! You've got a blog (most probably, if you're reading this)... come up with ten onion-style headlines and some fake movie trivia, and post your favorite on my comments. Go on! It's fun!

One and Done
I guess I'll start by talking about the Packers/ViQueens playoff game. Um... I didn't see it. I really don't plan to see that game, even though I taped it. And, no, I don't really want to talk about it either. The Lambeau mystique is gone... no one worries about playing at Lambeau anymore, because the Packers have, recently, played like shit at home. "How recently?", you ask. Oh... about ever since my family has had tickets. Coincidence? I think not. As much as I coveted those tickets before we got them... why do I want to drive up to Wisconsin to see my Packers lose three times like I did this year? They lost every game I saw... it's a pile of shit, as far as I'm concerned. All that time and money and then they lose. And, what's worse, they NEVER looked GOOD when I saw them play... they always played like crap and got blown out. *shakes head* It's almost not even worth the price of the tickets. *gasp* Yeah... I know. I can't believe I'm saying it either.

Tonight was Writing Five rehearsal number two. It actually went better than the first one, in that the first one was... well... I didn't really go into it like I should have, so allow me to go backwards a week. At the first rehearsal, during our read-through... okay... I'm going to have to go backwards a little farther. Hold on. Okay. Now we're back in the Summer of 2004. Ooo! Everything's so pretty and shiny! Anyway... let's go back to the first read-through of Maybe This Isn't The Right Forum For This.... In that rehearsal, I felt as though there were some very VERY talented performers in the cast, and that it was going to take everything I had to keep up on stage. Fast forward to last week... and I honestly felt like the most talented person on stage as we read through the scripts. I don't know what it is--maybe I'm becoming a better judge of talent, or maybe I'm becoming cockier--but I had a feeling as we read through that I was the 'best' one there. So now, going back to the beginning of this paragraph, I can say that the cast is better than I thought they were going to be at the read-through. Oh... and Chris gives me mouth-to-mouth in the show. No, Rhea, I'm not kidding this time. We've already rehearsed it.
As part of getting to know everyone better, I started talking to the Kim girl a bit. We were having a pleasant conversation and I asked her where she went to school. Guess what? Kim went to Yale. *nods* Mmhmm... she's the first person my age that I know that went to an Ivy League school. So I was very impressed. What I was not impressed with, however, was the fact that she was an American History major with a film concentration... or something like that. "I went to Yale to study American movies"... um... what? That makes no sense. But, needless to say I was impressed, because I'm shallow like that, and I'm an intellectual elitist (just ask Ken, he'll tell you). She's also blonde and attractive and she has a great laugh... so I, obviously, like her. I actually found myself thinking about it... and "pushing" like I was saying yesterday I noticed that I do. Well, I'm going to have to make sure to not have feelings for her... because I will no doubt be hurt. Moron that in a second.
After rehearsal, a group of us walked to the Roadhouse bar. It's just down Wells... or maybe I should say UP Wells... because it's north of Second City, and I'd never even seen the place before. It's got an interesting atmosphere... with a pool table and car backseats for booths. Regardless, I only went because Kim was going. And, it turns out, she was the only female to go... so it was Kim, and six guys all eyeing Kim. It was at that point (or perhaps when she was playing pool with Robert, who is a very tall and attractive man), that I told myself to stop thinking that Kim was a possibility. She is, without a doubt, out of my league. Yale/Intelligent + Tall/Thin/Blonde/Attractive = Not My League. I then decided I should start talking to the other guys who were there. Brian (from my Conservatory class too) and I talked for the first time ever, really. He seems like a cool guy who just wants to be involved in as much acting as he can. He's even taking an acting class somewhere in the city. I'm hoping that he's good so that we can work together and maybe both find places to do some actual acting work in the city. I hope. We'll see.

#8 Best of 2004 - A Weekend Spent At Albion, Among Other Things, Teaching Improv God! Why isn't this higher on my list?! Well... for one, there were a lot of really good things that happened to me last year. And, two, that weekend at Albion was bitter-sweet. Once again, Albion tried to make me feel as welcome as possible without truly acknowledging the discomfort I felt at being an outsider. I'm not sure if that sentence made sense. Anyway... if there had been a dozen students taking my little improv workshop, this would probably be further up my list. Not that the students who took it weren't absolutely fabulous (because they were), it's just that I had lost a lot of my momentum in the hour and a half it took for us to get enough people there to do anything. Once I got started, it was incredible to watch the students pick things up so quickly... and some really good improvisation happened. So I'm pleased about that. And then I went to the Coffeehouse's open mic night. There I was treated with two fantastic things!: 1) Nick's improved poetry which led to my feeling of pride [way to go, son!]; and 2) Kerri surprising Nick for his birthday which may be the greatest birthday surprise I have ever seen. The rest of the weekend was mixed... the choir practice was crap; going to the homecoming game and feeling like just another of Kopec's roommates was awesome; being at a college party made me feel old, and having people leave without saying good-bye hurt... a lot--maybe more than it should have; then seeing Amber, Sarah, and Randi for breakfast was awesome, but my part in the actual choir performance was not worth my time. I suppose, answering my own question earlier in this post, the reason this isn't higher on my list is that it was a weekend of highs and lows emotionally... where some really great stuff happened, but some pretty crap stuff happened, too. I guess, overall, I'm glad I went... but I probably could have left sooner than I did.

Yes, we are Basically Awful. And...?
This morning started with yet another Mockupations rehearsal. We weren't on the Skybox stage today, but we were, in fact, in the classroom we all refer to as the "hallway classroom" because there are basically no doors and it's a hallway. Right. We went through the whole show... but it wasn't really a big deal for me. I've been memorized for so long that rehearsal is just... well... kind of boring me. I think it's because we all got off book so long ago, that we've stopped coming up with new ideas for the material. Or maybe I'm making that up.
After rehearsal, I went out to Subway with Katy from the Mockupations show. She was starting her Conservatory class today and wanted to know what my class had been like. Katy, if you'll recall, is the only other person from my class who made it into the Conservatory. We had a nice and lengthy conversation... further proving that I LOVE to be able to go from the creepy guy you don't really feel comfortable around, to the guy who can sit and have a nice, intelligent conversation with you. I love fucking with people that way. So much fun.
After Subway, I headed right back to The Second City Training Center for a Basically Awesome rehearsal. We just wanted to go over a few things before the show... and it was mostly just us talking about what we were going to do. And we talked about the review... even telling people who passed by, like Aaron, to come see the show the Chicago Reader calls "basically awful!"
Before the show, one of the members of Poppyseed Lane was talking to us, and he basically called the reviewer a drunken bitch. That made us feel a little bit better about ourselves. And, I'll tell you what, week two of Basically Awesome went about a million times better than last week. Last week we pushed... wanted to make it a great show, but this week we let the show come to us, (with very low expectations for ourselves) and the audience really responded. We (meaning Keith) even made fun of the review in the Dave Convention scene... which later earned us kuddos from the Poppyseed Lane crew, being able to mock our review on stage during the performance... and do it fairly seamlessly, too.
After our show, we stayed and watched Poppyseed Lane's show. It was very very good... and one of the women, Robyn, was right that our shows overlap in some pretty interesting and unexpected ways. Yes, their show is without a doubt tighter than our is... but I don't think there's anything necessarily funnier about the premise of their show, or about it's content. The acting is better... by far... which makes their show seem so much better. It's no wonder we got a crap review. After seeing Poppyseed Lane, our show is at least two steps down. Although, I'll give us one thing, this is our first show and it's not that bad. As a matter of fact, the only thing Poppyseed Lane has on us is experience and confidence (which probably comes from that experience bit). I enjoyed their show, yes... but I didn't feel like it was anything that I couldn't do with the right group of people and the right amount of time.
After the show, I went across the street to Corcorans with Adam, his parents and his friends, Keith, Sara, Keith's crew, Dave and John from my writing five show. John showed up at the show to support us, which is awesome. I love it when my different "groups" come out to support one another. I spent most of the time at our long table, however, talking to Sara about various things. The whole thing was sweet, too, because Mr. Traum bought the drinks for the whole table! Although I only had a soda-pop/carbonated beverage... I've had enough alcohol for a while, thank you.
After everyone else had left, I stayed and talked with John for a while. While we were talking about stuff, the light/sound guy, Chris, came over to our table to talk about Basically Awesome. He started off by saying that I "make" the dance number, saying that the whole dance thing has been done before, but I make it different and original. He then said that I was the best part of the show (and John agreed). Chris basically talked about how my name was attached to this project and that I should aim higher... make sure that the rest of the group is as good as I am. I was very flattered, of course, but I felt like this was exactly the kind of advice that I DON'T need. Yes, it's important for me to think about myself, and to put myself first... but it's also important to network and get my name out there. And I don't want to turn my back on my friends--although as long as Adam keeps being down on his acting I might just want to write with him--but I think Keith and I are going to have lots more shows ahead of us. He needed this experience. And now he's gotten it. I honestly think that I'm going to take some time off of this stuff and write... make sure I have something SOLID... and even start rehearsing before I even get a slot or a stage to perform it on. *nods* Yep... this WAS good experience, but it also proved to me that I'm going to need to put a lot more time, effort, and thought into my future projects.

#8 Worst of 2004 - Two Dates, and No Second Date 2004 was not a good year with the ladies, let me tell you. I spent most of it bitching about them, but not doing anything about it. When I did meet someone interesting who seemed nice (and wasn't dating someone else), I worked up the courage to ask them out. This happened twice in 2004. The first date was with Elizabeth (see the March 1st post). I had a pleasant time, I thought she had a pleasant time... but the next time I saw her, she seemed like it was awkward. I half-blame Coldstone, as I had pretty much just been promoted at the time and that made it weird, and the other half blames me for obviously doing something wrong. Or something. The second date I didn't even make sound like a date on the blog... but it was. If you'll notice exhibit B, my October 22nd post, you'll find nothing in it that says "I was just on a date!" I just said that I saw a movie with her... but that should have tipped you off, dear reader! After the movie, we went to Mitchell's/Michael's and had a late night snack and talked for a while. I had a pleasant time, I thought she had a pleasant time... but the next time I saw her, she seemed awkward. Sound like a broken record much? I guess I don't get it. I've never really done this whole "dating" thing... in the past, I have just accidentally fallen into relationships; where I sit up, shake the cobwebs out, turn to the girl and say "Oh hey! I like you. And we're dating now? That's great!" But I'm in a whole new ballgame now. It's different and, as I've been finding out recently, it's hard for me not to push to make things happen when I have to be pro-active about it in the first place. *shakes head* So complicated.

*Nods* Yes... I actually got drunk for the first time in my life. And none of you saw it
"I'm drunk... let's talk about it.
Okay... so I'm officially drunk. And I drunk called Laura, because she used to drunk call me all the time. I also drunk called Chelsey Wagemaker... I'm surprised I didn't drunk call Karen Green, honestly.
To Corcoran's with half the cast... a Bass and a Jaeger bomb. A weird party with Jim and his girlfriend Christine... had two beers and a screwdriver.
some weird bar... MORE beers. Hitting on a girl named Jessica who taught the first grade. She reminded me a little of Colleen Kelly, which is probably why I was SO in love with her.
I honestly can't see straight... and everything's dizzy. I'm going to bed. I still spell really well, thought... kind of like Laura. Ha!"
Yes... that's what I wrote, ver batim. I made no changes to that what-so-ever. And, no, I don't think my mis-spelling "though" at the end was a joke; which makes it all the more ironic. If the irony is lost on you, you were probably born in Evart. Get it? I bet you don't! By the way, this is the kind of format with which I start all my posts. If you'll notice the second paragraph is more of just little notes to myself to help me fill things in later, rather than just writing through something and maybe forgetting some of the steps. It's interesting to see that I was "SO in love" with a random girl I met at the bar. What a douche bag I am.

"Well, poopsicle stick, John... what made you get drunk?" you ask. "Poopsicle stick?" I reply. "Yeah... all the kids are saying it. Hey! You're trying to avoid the question!" you retort. "Okay okay... let's start with last night and work from there." Last night was opening night of my writing five show, Mankind: And Other Oxymorons. This, I was hoping, would get my mind off the fact that I got a pile of feces as a review for my Basically Awesome show. Um... that didn't work out too well. For you see, when one opens a show, it is customary for others to attend aforementioned show. This was NOT the case Friday night. We opened to a house of six. SIX! 6!!! The people on stage equaled the people in the audience and at the end when the writers came out to bow, we (obviously) exceeded the audience members. I guess I wouldn't have felt so bad if the actors hadn't just poured their hearts out. I saw how they stepped it up... I could tell. And I felt terrible for them. So I decided to buy anyone in the cast a drink if they wanted it (job or no... these poor actors deserved alcohol, damnit!).

So after the show, I went to Corcorans with Nick, Sean, Jill--from the cast, and Jim, his girlfriend Christine, and Heidi--my fellow writers. We sat around a table, ate some crappy bar food, drank some beers, and told stories. I told them that I thought they did a very good job, even if no one was there to see it. After two drinks (plus the drinks I got the actors), I had spent all I wanted to for the night, and I was ready to go.
I was going to call it a night after we dispersed from Corcorans, but I was walking home with Jim and Christine because they live near me... and Christine was going to go to a friend's party. I normally want nothing to do with parties (or fun), but I could tell that Jim wanted nothing to do with it too, it looked like he could use a friend there, it was only about 10:30, and the party was about a block from my apartment... so I went. The good news: the beer was free. The bad news: Christine goes to one of the fashion schools in Chicago... so the party was filled with "trendy" people. But I didn't give a fuck... so I mingled a bit and then played aloof with Jim: standing, drinking, and making fun of everyone we saw.
THAT was fun... and after the five drinks (and the screwdriver was mostly a cup of vodka... he may have actually tried to squeeze an orange in it, because their was almost no orange juice in it), I was DEFINITELY going to call it a night. But Jim wanted to go to a weird bar down the street, and I had been having so much fun at the stupid party that I thought "what the hell? Why not?" I wasn't going to buy myself anything, I was just going to stand there and hopefully make fun of some more fashion yuppies. But Jim bought me a couple beers, and I drank them alright. And then he started trying to hook me up with this girl that was standing next to us. And I don't know what happened, but I was the complete opposite of smooth with her. Oh yes, I do know what happened... I was dumping toxins into my body at a rapid rate! That's it! She did look a little like Colleen Kelly... but, sadly, I am not in love with Miss Jessica. Ah young love... burns so bright, but never long enough.

Then I finally came back to my apartment (after making two ill-advised calls) and typed up the above... only to pretty much pass out two minutes later. When I woke in the morning, I was still drunk. That's never good. What did I learn? Two things: 1.) Alcohol dehydrates your body. This I knew. But I forgot that there's no way to get the poisons out of your system if you don't drink fluids like water. 2.) When you feel like puking, you probably should. I felt like it and didn't, and the toxins had no place to go but to stay where they were.
My parents called in the morning, too. I got just a little paranoid that I would sound like something was wrong with my voice... but then I realized that I always sound drunk and slur my speech and mumble... so it didn't matter.

This afternoon was a Mockupations rehearsal. We rehearsed on the Skybox stage... which is always awesome. The stage is, honestly, nothing special... but the more I rehearse on it, the more comfortable I feel when I'm acting on it. And it's always in such high demand... because it's only usable for like 6 hours during the night on weekdays. The show feels pretty tight, and I feel pretty good about it even though the scripts are nothing to write home about. Unless the people in your home really like testicle jokes.
After rehearsal, I watched the Jets/Chargers game & ordered myself some Dominos! It was a good game... with the Jets doing everything they could to give the game away. I feel bad for the Chargers... I don't think that they thought they could win. Too bad. But the pizza tasted great! And I found out that I really like the combination of ham, pineapple, and jalapeno peppers.

#8 Post of 2004 - A Conversation with Myself (May 11) Even though this one is only eighth, it's the post that inspired the "best posts" list. As I was reading through my blog from the past year to compile the best and worst list, I read this post again... and I laughed out loud at it. I don't know why it gets me, but it will probably get me EVERY time. I guess I just visualize myself on stage with myself... performing it as if it was a play (it's written in standard play format... kind of). I also like that you can pretty much tell which John is speaking by the end of the conversation... which is something Bob AuFrance used to tell us that we should be able to do: that we should be able to write without writing down who's speaking... because each of the characters should sound differently. *big shrug* And I think it's funny.

Basically Awesome is basically awful!
As some of you might remember, last Sunday was the opening night for my Basically Awesome show. Additionally, we had a critic from the Chicago Reader come and, well, do her critique thing. Today, the review came out in the Reader. The review is as follows:
"The second show on the bill, Basically Awesome, is basically awful. Poking crude fun at easy targets like evangelists and corporate honchos, Day in the Life Theatre Ensemble is simply dull. The one high point is a punk rocker singing lyrics that all come from Dr. Seuss. - Jennifer Vanasco"
This was what I woke up to this morning. I went over to Adam's to have him help me with the Freedentify posters (see last Wednesday's post). On my way to Adam's, I got him and his roommates doughnuts, as a thank you to Adam for helping me with the posters. Then I picked up two copies of the Reader on my way to Adam's apartment. I read Adam and his roommates the review... and got different responses. Adam thinks we should strive to be either the best or the worst... as everything else is too mediocre to mention. Chip thinks that this is great for us... we have no place to go but up. I found it very hard to find the silver lining in this whole thing. I honestly think she has some good points... but what can we do about it now? We can't change the show... we just have to keep going with the shit that is our show. *shakes head* My first ever review is a huge slap to the face. And, just so you know, getting slapped hurts.

#9 Best of 2004: XSport Membership/Thad First of all, if you had told me at the end of 2003 that in the next year I would have had a gym membership and that I would spend three months of the year weight training, I probably would have died laughing. Or at least said "yeah, right. THAT'S going to happen!" But it did happen in 2004. Weight training is something that I always wanted to get into... but didn't know how to approach. And now I know. The important stuff Thad taught me I will probably never forget... and I'll never forget how positive and supportive he was, either. He went above and beyond a personal trainer, as far as I'm concerned. And it was easy for me to understand how actors/actresses can lose weight so quickly, and look so good for so long. A good personal trainer means EVERYTHING... and if I had an infinite amount of money, I'd still be training with Thad. I gained so much confidence during those months... I just wish I would have kept at it. 2005 is a whole new ballgame, and Thad certainly gave me all the tools I will need to keep going. Thank you Thad, wherever you are.

Prop Shoppin'
This morning, I took a trip up to Addison. I needed to get a white beard and a black beard for my Mankind show... and my friend Chris--from Maybe This Isn't the Right Forum and The AD's Cut--lives up near Addison. He had a whole bag of beards from the Forum show... and I asked him if I could borrow two of them for my Writing Five show. He, of course, said that I could... but I had to go up to his place to get it. And, unfortunately for me, he was at work. But his wife, Mary, wasn't at work yet... so she would be there to give me the beards. I ended up standing outside their door for about 8 minutes because they had two buzzers into the apartment... and the one I was using wasn't working. I felt like a total idiot when Mary finally came down and let me in. But she was very nice, and we talked about the Food Network before I felt too uncomfortable and had to leave. Why uncomfortable? Because, on the phone, Chris kept telling me not to touch her... and that his big fear is that Mary will cheat on him, but his BIGGEST fear is that she'll cheat on him with a loser called "John Steeno." See, kiddies, Chicago's isn't all about stroking my ego.
While I was up north, I went to Fullerton to buy some stuff at the Chicago Costume store. Yes, it was more stuff for my Writing Five show. No, I'll probably never use it again. Yes, I HATE buying costumes and props. No, I won't ever do it ever again. Yes, I found what I was looking for. And, no, it wasn't as big a deal as I just made it sound. There. Are you happy now?

This has nothing to do with anything, but I finally got myself some new ringtones today. It's really weird because I got so used to the sound of my phone ringing meaning that someone was calling from/for Coldstone. Even in the months after I got fired... my phone ringing always triggered the thought that it was work FIRST. So I got rid of the old ringtone... and my new ringtone? The theme song from MacGuyver! How BADASS is THAT??! You can't possibly answer that question correctly unless you say INFINITELY BADASS!

Tonight was my very first Conservatory Class. My instructor is Michael Gellman, who is one of the senior teaching faculty at The Second City (one of four), and he is also the head of the Improv for Actors program here in Chicago. I actually knew two other people in that class: Jenny, who I had met this past Sunday; and Brian, who is the Brian from the writing five show I just started rehearsing with.
We started the class by getting into a circle and "passing the pulse" around the circle. After going as fast as we could with one pulse, we tried doing two pulses. At times, one pulse was slower than the other. Gellman asked us why this was... and we eventually replied correctly that it happened because someone absorbed the pulse and didn't send it. This taught us that if someone absorbs the energy of the scene, or someone else's initiation in the scene, then that energy is gone. In short: don't absorb the scene's energy, keep it going.
We then played something that I like to call the "What's different about me?" game. This is where you stand about "American Standard" (roughly three feet) apart from someone and just stare at what they're wearing. Then both people turn around and change a certain number of things about their appearance. Then you both turn back around and say what's different about the other person. This taught us how much easier it is to have someone staring at you if you focus outward instead of inward. If you're focused on your partner, you're not self-conscious of the fact that someone is looking you up and down. In short: focus on your partner, and you can be comfortable doing anything on stage. Oh... and pay attention. :)
After that, we took a short break and then came back to do a "blind" exercise. I was paired up with Jenny... who was the only person I was comfortable with at that point. It's an exercise I've done before at The Second City (and what I did for the entire second half of King Lear), where one person leads someone who's blind around. This was a little different, however, since Gellman told us to make the experience very "sensual." Of the senses, you perverts. Geez! Anyway, I started leading Jenny around, and we went outside to the parking garage and smelled people smoking and felt the cold; then we went to the area right outside of the etc theatre where famous people have left their hand prints and I made Jenny put her hands it some of the prints, like Joe Pesci; and finally we went all the way to the ground floor and I had her feel the Christmas tree they still have on display in the lobby. I think I did a very good job exploring her senses. I think. Anyway, when it was Jenny's turn to lead me around, it was a little anti-climactic. I know that building so well, I really didn't have to see to know exactly where I was the whole time. Although, she lead me INTO the movie theatre and had me touch the shooter video game that they have in there. So she said "stick out your left hand, and grab"... and then I said "Um... am I holding a gun?". Because it was the video game gun. Feels a little more realistic with your eyes closed. Heehee.
After everyone shared their blind experience (we learned about trust and using our other senses!) we played a mirroring game. For those of you who aren't Rhea, you should know that I'm very good at mirroring (for those of you who are Rhea, you know that already). This dude, Jason, and I were partnered up. We went very slowly, mirroring each other and shifting the "focus" (who was leading) back and forth. Something I learned about that game in general: Don't ever drop to the floor. It's tough as SHIT to get back up again. And the point of that exercise was to make sure that we never go too fast as to lose the rest of the people on stage. Everything works better if everyone's on the same page... even if that means going slower than you'd like to.
After class, a group of us went across the street to Corcorans. Let's see if I can reconstruct who was there. I just learned their names tonight... hmm: Thomas from Toronto; Fernando from Texas; Karen from Chicago; Jenny from LA and NY (she's bi-coastal! and we already know her!); Matt from St. Louis; Brian from Boston (we already know him, too!); Courtney from... hmm... I don't remember; and Steve (I think) from who know's where. Steve and Courtney were at the other side of the long table, so I didn't really get a chance to talk to them. We had a pretty good time together, I think. It's very weird because everyone keeps telling us that we're working together for the next year and a half, so we're all trying to figure out how to learn about each other, and be nice to each other, and how to go about working with someone for a LONG time. It's weird because... well... take college, for instance. You want to get to know people because you might be seeing that person around for four years, but it's not like you HAVE to be with that person, or that group of people. You can make a whole new group of friends whenever you want. And it's even cool to meet new people in your grade a couple years into your college experience... and everyone's like "where were you the past couple years?" Plus, in college, there are always new people showing up as freshman, and old people leaving as seniors. But not here. It's this group of 17 of us... for a year and a half. No one new will come and it will be surprising if any of us leave. It's like I'm married to this group of people that I don't know for the next year and a half. Weird, huh?

#9 Worst of 2004: Rhea's Car Incident In how many different ways was this terrible? Well, first of all, let's not forget all the crap we had to go through to try to figure out how to find her car... thinking we were going to have to file a report; calling the police [add to this that Rhea was treated so poorly by the cops]; and having them rudely tell us it had been towed. Then walking all the way to the tow place; AND having to pay over a hundred dollars for a wrongfully towed car. But the WORST part of this whole incident... by FAR the worst part is this: There was no one responsible. There should have been someone responsible. SOMEONE called the tow-truck. SOMEONE towed the car. SOMEONE didn't let the owner of the vehicle know they had towed it. But as I tried to investigate into it, as I asked people who should have known... no one knew. And that's possibly when this city hit me with a harsh big-city lesson: There are so many people that one person with a problem is easily lost in the shuffle. That's why people are numbers... we need some way to tell the difference between this guy and that guy, and we certainly don't have time to get to know anyone. *shakes head* There is NO GOOD REASON why I couldn't find out why that car was towed... but it's still a mystery to this day.

I Start And Finish Talking about Sports
I had taped the Oklahoma/USC game so that I could watch it later. I was, most obviously, busy last night. If it's night-time, you can bet that I'm rehearsing something somewhere. Regardless, I taped the game so that I could watch it this morning. I had already seen on Ken's blog, and gotten an email from my dad, which basically ruined the "surprise" of the game. Although, after watching the game, the second quarter pretty much did the same thing. If USC was my team, this would have been exactly the kind of game I love watching... where it's pretty much over before half-time. However, USC is not my team... I just wanted to see a good game. And holy bowling balls was that not what happened. The game I saw was no where NEAR a good game. Oklahoma looked terrible after their first drive... and I'm pretty sure that USC could have put ME in as quarterback half-way through the third quarter and they still would've won.
While I was watching the crappy tape of the game, I was working on a poster/prop for one of the scenes I wrote in Mankind: And Other Oxymorons. The poster is a product called "Freedentify"... and making it is probably supposed to be a lot less involved process than I'm making this stupid project. I'm not sure that sentence made sense. What I mean is that... well... let me put it this way: I spent all fucking day just doing the writing on three of these posters. I didn't even draw anything on them yet... I just did the writing. Meanwhile, it continues to snow here in Chicago. We must have something like 300 inches of snow right now. My entire morning and afternoon was spent working on these stupid props, watching it snow outside, and watching the stupid game, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (on HBO), and misc stuff on ESPN. What a great day, huh? I'm useless.

At 7, however, I had to leave because I had Mockupations rehearsal. Unlike yesterday, this was a rehearsal with everyone, and we were able to go through the entire show. I've been off book since before the Christmas break, so rehearsal is more irritating for me than anything else.

After my Mockupations rehearsal, I went into the lobby to wait for my Mankind Tech rehearsal. One of my fellow writers, Heidi, was sitting there at one of the tables, so I sat down next to her and starting shooting the metaphoric feces. She then started crying, out of nowhere... so I got closer to her and started prying, hoping that she would open up and let me know what was wrong. She did... she talked her way through it... and it made me feel pretty crappy. She was upset about a man, her boyfriend, and she sounded like someone who probably places too much of her own self-worth on what men think of her. I kept worrying, as she was talking, that he was abusing her. It never approached that level, but I can't help but think she's someone who WOULD end up in an abusive relationship and NOT want to leave it. Man, relationships are fucking complicated... and I can't help but be hurt when someone who honestly cares about other people is purposely made to feel guilty by their significant other. That sickens me... and, honestly, makes me happy that I'm as jaded about relationships as I am. What a bastard this guy sounded like. *shakes head* Oh! To make things better... the actors don't know a lot of lines in my writing five show. That'll make Friday night interesting, to be sure.

#9 Post of 2004: All of the Sports Posts! Even though some of you were completely board by all of my different sports posts, sports are something that fascinate me. Hell, if this whole "comedy" thing doesn't work out... I could easily see myself doing play-by-play for some kind of sports team. So all this sports loot could potentially be what I do with my life. Thus, I understandably spend a lot of mental energy and time on sports... and in 2004 I spent a lot of time posting about sports as well. My favorite posts are Feb 1st (the string of Super Bowl commentary), March 15 (my thoughts on the NCAA Tourney), April 24 (Jim and I do play-by-play of the 2004 NFL Draft), and Sept 12 (my NFL predictions). Even if you don't like the fact that I spent so much time on all that loot, I hope you can appreciate that I spent SO MUCH time on all that loot.

Miss Chelsey Wagemaker hits Chicago!
I got a surprise phone call from Miss Chelsey Wagemaker this morning saying that she was on her way to Chicago with some friends. What was I doing tonight? "Besides blogging?" Ah ha haaa... I'm so clever. And I'm kidding. I did, however, have rehearsal tonight. But she also had something to do tonight, so the fact that I was going to be busy at night wasn't a big deal.
Later that afternoon, she called me to let me know that she and her friends had made it to Chicago. They were walking up and down Michigan Avenue... so I met them at the GAP on Michigan. Chelsey had brought her friends Chris and Tara from home. Tara, I believe, I met before somewhere, as she goes to Albion. I don't remember when or where we met previously, but I do remember meting her before. Regardless, they wanted me to "show them around" as it were; give them something to do while in Chicago. Yes, I DO live here. But I don't get down to Michigan Avenue very often. It's basically just a long, expensive street... and the only reason I ever go down there is that someone is visiting. Or to go to the Virgin Megastore (which isn't very often). So I felt like kind of a douche because I didn't know where we could go just to hang out. I ended up dragging them to the Apple store and the Disney store. However, Tara had some kind of fixation with going up in the John Hancock building... so we headed that way.
I've never been up in the Hancock Tower before. I've been in the Sears tower, when Ken came to visit and we walked all that f--king way downtown when we should have just taken the El... but I felt all unsure of public transportation because I'm a very back-woodsy/ignorant person. Who followed that? Anyway, we headed up to the observation floor of "Big John" (who knew they called it that??!). It was a beautiful site on a beautiful night... and my prose is beautifully trite but my rhymes are beautifully right... on. What was that? Where was I? Oh! I was on the Hancock Tower Observation deck. I think the coolest part of that, honestly, was being able to see my building from the Hancock tower. I was able to show MC Dubs and her friends where I live and even what I think was the Second City. It was interesting to be able to look down on where I live and where I "work." *shrug* With the right perspective, everything looks so well ordered through the chaos.
After heading up to the Hancock observation floor, we went to the Cheesecake Factory... which is right downstairs in the Hancock tower. We each got a slice of cheesecake... but it wasn't the cheesecake that made this trip special. After about five minutes with Chris and Tara at the Cheesecake Factory... I finally felt very comfortable. It turns out that I had unknowingly been nervous around Chelsey's friends before we went to the Cheesecake Factory. I think that has something to do with my feeling that what I like to do is boring to everyone else, so when people I don't know want me to show them around, I feel pressure to entertain them (this is probably linked to whatever it is about me that makes me want to be an entertainer). But when we were sitting around a table, just talking and eating over-priced but still delicious cheesecake, they felt like old friends to me. I had a really good time, and if any of them come back to Chicago, I'll probably drop whatever I'm doing to hang out with them.

Then I left Chelsey and her friends to go to Mockupations rehearsal. Unfortunately, we were sans Robert... so we didn't do a whole lot. We blocked a dance, of all things. And, because I'm in so many scenes with Robert, I didn't really do all that much beyond blocking a stupid dance. And with Chelsey in town for only the night, I would have rather not been wasting my time at a rehearsal I didn't need. Oh well... I'm sure she'll be back in Chicago again. And I had fun with her and her friends while they were there... so that's really what this is all about, isn't it?

#10 Best of 2004: Easter at Adam's If there's one thing that's quasi-universal about growing up and leaving home it's that holidays are tough. Strike that... holidays are brutal. Easter is one of those holidays that you don't really think about all that much, but even in college I was home with my family for Easter. This past Easter, I was invited to have a home-cooked meal with Adam, his mother, Chip, Dave, and Leeza. This event solidified Adam as, probably, my best friend in Chicago... as he thought enough of me to invite me to spend time with he and his friends and family. I can't even begin to describe how good that made me feel. I suppose I can begin to describe it... It's the tenth best thing that happened to me all year... how's that? Heehee... Thanks to Adam and his mother, for making Easter 2004 special.

Another Writing Five Show
Tonight was the first rehearsal for the Writing Five class, whose show I'm acting for. I met the writers, most of them for the first time. The Stage Manager, Robert, I had seen before. He actually knows Katy, the girl in Mockupations with me. Also, one of the writers, Dan, was in my writing classes, but had to take some time off because his wife was having another kid. Cool, huh? He's not a very outgoing person, but he's still really nice, and I like a couple of his scenes we read through in class together. And then I met the case... and this is how I know most of the cast:
Chris and I auditioned for the writing five show I made it into over the summer. Why do I remember him? He, this dude named John (who I know a whole lot better now), and I all were in a three-person improv scene, and then we read a script together. So I totally remember him. And he might remember me too. I was wearing a Notre Dame sweatshirt and he asked if I went there. I, obviously, didn't... but he did. And he wondered if we had seen each other before. I just put it together that he might've mistakenly remembered the audition. Huh.
Jennifer was in the United Flakes of America show with Amy. Remember that this was arguably the worst writing five show I've ever seen? Yeah... well I said then that Amy and one other actor did the best they could. It might have been Jennifer. I'm not sure. She's definitely "big" whenever she's on stage. It might be interesting to try to keep her in check during the performances. We'll see.
Rachel, oddly enough, auditioned for MY writing five show. I knew I had seen her before when I saw her tonight. It took me finding out her name and looking to my notes from our audition... but, yeah, I remember her auditioning. It will be interesting to see if she remembers me from that audition ever. I hope she doesn't hold it against me. We'll see about that, too.
Then there's Kim and Brian. I'll call them the "attractive" actors. Brian has kind of a very classic leading man look... and I assume that's how he'll be cast in this show. Kim is blonde and cute and doesn't seem to have many parts in this show. *shrug* Women always get screwed on parts in Writing Five shows. Sorry ladies... for some reason, even when there are a lot of female writers, the women never get many good parts.

Well, today we have a clear picture of the NFL Playoffs. I went back to my post from September 12th to see how close I got. It's not pretty. Yes, I got New England and Philly getting a bye week correct... but who would've envisioned a rookie leading Pittsburgh to the best record in the league? What was I WAY off on? How about Kansas City? Or Washington? Or Tennessee? Big disappointments, all of those teams. In fact, I only got two teams right in the AFC (NE and Indy)... but those teams still might end up playing each other in the Conference Finals. Although, give me SOME credit, as I got 4 of the 6 teams in the NFC correct. And if Carolina hadn't choked last Sunday, then I would've only gotten one team wrong (Atlanta). I think it was probably easier to know how the playoff picture was going to unfold in the NFC because there are so few teams that could really compete for playoff spots, while there are some really good teams (Baltimore, Buffalo, Jacksonville) in the AFC that are home for the playoffs. Well, crap... I guess it was worth it to put myself on the line like that, but I was really pretty far off. I guess 50% is commendable, and 6 out of 12 is what I got. Good for me?

#10 Worst of 2004 - All the Blog Women Bashing I honestly didn't notice it until Sarah pointed it out (or Amber... or AND Amber), but there was a whole lot of cheap-shots taken at females on this here blog in 2004. The reason for this are two or three-fold. 1.) Women are easy targets? There aren't any women in this room right now, so there's no one to stand up for them. 2.) Maybe I'm an asshole? Y'all women need to keep your sense of humor. Nothing is so sacred as to be above a quick jab to the kidneys... if you catch my meaning. As we get more and more "politically correct," it's important to remember our sense of humor. And, yes, we're all supposed to be nice to women now... but let's not be too correct. 3.) Maybe I'm pissed that I can't get one? Maybe I'm jealous or bitter or something else equally weak and small. Regardless... there was a lot of women bashing that occurred in 2004... something I am in a much better position to change in 2005. Have a nice day, ladies.

Here are the members of Basically Awesome. From Left to Right: Adam, Amy, Me, Keith, Dave. We are using this flyer to promote in the Old Town area, because we open the show as these characters dancing to "Come On Baby Baby," a song written and performed by Keith.
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Basically Awesome Opens!
This morning was my Conservatory Orientation. As I was trying to find a seat in the mainstage theatre, I found myself quiet literally running into my friend Katy, who was in my improv classes D and E, and who is also in my Saturday night show, Mockupations. She was there with a girl named Jenny, who has never taken a class at The Second City before, but who came here from... um... New York? I think. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that she's in the Thursday night class, so we'll be classmates for the next... million years or so.
At any rate, the first person to talk at my orientation was Anne Libera. Why should you care? Well... remember that writing five show I was in over the summer? Her brother was one of the writers. He wrote the "rough" wheelchair sketch I was the lead in. Yeah. So I feel like I know her, at any rate.
Then we were asked to split up into programs. I went into the etc theatre with the other Conservatory students. There we were talked to by Norm Holly, the head of the Conservatory program. He was very matter-of-fact, but I also think he's fair, and worthy of great respect. He's kind of a "That's the way it is" kind of guy... and part of me thinks that's exactly what I need after a year of "you're doing well enough" kind of stuff. Does any of that make sense? So my morning was filled with a "it's about time" sense... and I'm excited and nervous to start classes on Thursday.

But, more importantly for TODAY, tonight was Basically Awesome's Opening Night! We got together really early in the afternoon to run through the show a couple of times. We even ate Subway together for dinner. Oh bonding! Whatever. When it became time for the performance, we were VERY nervous. And it didn't help that we were the second group on the bill... having to wait backstage in the green room for forty minutes... not knowing when their show was going to end... and having to be ready to take the stage and set our props in about two minutes.
About the show... the dance scene and the songs went really well. For some reason, people just REALLY love a funny song. Another thing I found interesting about the show is that the Dave Convention scene went really well. The scenes that I wrote, however, did not go so well. Ehh... I'm learning that I'd rather perform than write. So my performance went well, I think... and that's all that matters to me.

After the show, we went across the street to Corcorans. Keith, Sara, Adam, Dave, and I went over there with two of Keith's friends from Aurora. It was an interesting time. We saw our Level C instructor Claudia with half the cast of the mainstage show. She asked what we were up to... and seemed happy that we were still together and working together. I would love to be able to see the mainstage show SOON... but we'll see. At any rate, like I said, it was an interesting time. Sara likes to ask weird "would you rather..." questions. I have a feeling that the questions drive Keith insane... but we were humoring her. The director of AD's Cut and Mockupations, Aaron, showed up and sat down with us. He seemed REALLY into the questions, so we were able to humor Sara for a while. And Aaron and Adam seemed to really hit it off, which is honestly something I thought would happen if they ever got a chance to hang out. They're both really cool, laid-back, kinda guys.
On my way out, I had a guy at the bar stop me to tell me how well he thought the show went. He was a friend of one of the performers in Poppyseed Lane, the other show on our double bill. He actually wasn't the only friend of someone in Poppyseed Lane who thought we did well... I had someone talk to me right after the show, who thought we put on a pretty funny show. I guess, all in all, I felt pretty good about it after everything was all said and done.

Top Ten Posts of 2004: #10 Post - March 12th, 2004. If I was rich
I don't know why I like this post so much, but it's just one of the many mental exercises I put myself through in 2004. *shrug* I guess everyone likes to think about what they would do if they were just so filthy rich that they didn't have to work, and they could do whatever they wanted. And I honestly think a lot about what my house is going to be like when I'm older and I build one. That's one of my little life goals: building my own house. And I'm dead serious about the secret passages too, dog.

Happy 2005!
This New Years was my first in the Central Time Zone. And let me tell you, that made things very weird. So what did I do on my first Central Time Zone New Year's Eve? Well... I think calling it a stomach "problem" is nice and tactful. Yeah. I got sick. That's what I did for New Year's. Pretty cool, huh? Oh, it's not? Yeah... you're right. My New Year's Eve was spent painfully close to a bathroom... in my apartment. But do not feel bad for me, kiddies... when the ball dropped in Time's Square, I was actually on the phone with my college roommate, Mr. John Sellers (who was at the annual New Year's party with Amber, Randi, and Sarah). Additionally, when the ball dropped... it was only 11 o'clock where I was, so I was kind of like "Um... Happy New Years? I'm still in 2004, technically." After we hung up, I called my sister and then my parents... wishing them both a Happy New Year's. After I hung up with my parents, I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I had coughed SO HARD earlier that night that my whole throat was visibly bruised. It was yellow and purple... and looked like I had attempted to hang myself. I was like "holy poop-mas tree!" because, even though I had noticed that it became tough to swallow for a while, I never expected to see THAT in the mirror. I then went back to my TV and watched a computer generated countdown being displayed over Buckingham Fountain here in Chicago. Apparently that's what they do here for New Year's in the Central Time Zone... and then there were fireworks at midnight, and everyone kissed and pretended the world isn't dying all around us.
That was my New Year's. Actually, I think New Year's is such a big deal because it's one of the few holidays that are out there basically just for adults. Kids don't really care about New Year's... they don't even get to stay up for it until they're a little older. It seems to be just another excuse for people to drink. Wow... I'm glad we need another one of those. Like we don't do that every Friday night... here's a REAL reason to get drunk. Splendid. *shrug* oh well. My problem really doesn't lie so much with the drinker as it does with the one who drinks and drives. There should be no stiffer penalty than that given to someone who drinks and drives. Man, I hate drunk drivers.

Enough negativity... Hey! It's time for my New Years Resolution! This year's resolution: it's time to keep up with people! Like I mentioned yesterday, last year's resolution was to move blindly ahead. And I did so... but at the expense of some pretty good friendships. I left a lot of people "behind" in 2004, something that I'll try not to do in 2005. We're all busy, I know, but I can put forth a lot more effort than I did previously.

Best of 2004--Honorable Mention: Coldstone's Make-A-Wish Fundraiser. For all the crap I'm going to give Coldstone in the rest of my list (and there will be a LOT of it), the month we spent raising money for the Make-A-Wish foundation was one of the things that made me actually happy to work there. That whole MAW promotion was orchestrated by yours truly. Seriously. I put up the promotional materials; I trained all the employees on what to say and how to sell the stars; I made sure enough cakes were made for the ice cream social; and I made sure that night was well staffed and that everyone knew what was going on. I GAVE Make-A-Wish that 2 grand from my own hard work. And I couldn't feel better about it. Too bad my entire Coldstone experience will forever be soiled by the ending... which is why this is an Honorable Mention, and not on the proper list.

What did I do on New Year's Day? At around noon, we had Basically Awesome rehearsal. Everyone was supposed to be there. Was everyone there? No. Surprisingly, the cast member to flake out was Amy... our token Jew-woman. Why is it surprising that she missed? Because she seems to be very interested in getting this whole thing working... and getting everything on track. Why is it NOT surprising that she missed? Because I think she's kind of a lush, actually. When she gets drunk, she's doing it balls-to-the-wall. She even came to one of our rehearsals a little drunk after a company holiday party. She, apparently, slept through the noon hour... which I believe. She was probably too hung-over to hear the phone when we called, too. F--kin' lush!
After the feux-rehearsal, Adam and I went up to Belmont to do some prop shopping. We bought some wicked sweet goggles, which we've already got some ideas how to use. And then we went into a sex store (swear to God) looking for what Adam called a "gimp mask." He later wished out loud that he had made it seem like we were lovers to piss me off... but I told him I would have played along, so fuck him. That's what a year of this improv shit gets you... you'll play along with pretty much anything.
After the prop shopping, we went to Adam's. Among Adam's roommates, Dave was there (not Dave from the show... another Dave). We were all hungry, so we decided to go meet Dave's girlfriend and her friends for dinner. *shrug* Why not?! So Adam, Dave, and I went to Buca di Beppo to meet the ladies. Buca di Beppo is one of the oddest restaurants I've ever been to. They call it "Italian, Family style" food. Basically what you do is you order for 2-4 instead of for one. So we got a pizza, some spaghetti, some manicatti, a calzone of sorts, a salad, and some mashed potatoes... and it feed all six of us, each of us passing it around and serving ourselves. If you have a group of, like, 5 or 6 people... and you can all agree on what to get, it's a good deal. It was only about $15 per person for what ended up being TONS of food. Remind me, if there's ever a large group of you in Chicago, that Buca di Beppo would be a good place to go.
After dinner, I finally saw Napoleon Dynamite at Dave and Leeza's. It was a hilarious movie... and just further proved to me that strong characters can make a movie... regardless of a complete lack of plot, plot development, major obstacles, or plot. And, perhaps the best part of the movie is that everyone who saw it said to themselves "I could do this... why didn't I think of this movie?" But none of you did... I didn't. This movie is brilliant in it's shear simplicity. Hopefully, someday, I'll come up with a character as honest and interesting as Napoleon.

When I was one the Red Line, heading back to my apartment, a homeless man came on the train. He said the usual, "I'm a homeless man and I don't mean anyone any harm" thing... which is always pretty obvious just from the fact that he got everyone's attention, and that threatening us will just get him beaten. Regardless... he then said, "Could someone please help me out with anything, I just need to get something to eat"... again, standard. But then he said "please..... please..... please" and kept repeating "please" for another whole stop on the train... and it beat me down like ocean waves on the coast. By half-way through the next stop I was ready to cry... just to burst. The worst part, perhaps, was that I honestly didn't have any money on me... a more and more common experience for me. And, then, when I got off the train, I just wanted to run far away and cry. I couldn't stand it... that man's words just kept repeating in my head, as if he was haunting me. Adding to the mood, it was raining here in Chicago. Not just a normal rain, either. It seemed like a very very heavy rain. I felt like it dampened my very existence... and everything about me was soggy and heavy and wet. When I finally made it to my apartment, I felt very damp, even after putting on dry clothes and towel-drying my hair. I felt so heavily burdened... I hope this isn't what 2005 is going to be like.