Unfinished Business
Recently, after watching X-Men 3 on DVD, I remembered a little video game called X-Men Legends. It's 'hack and slash' meets 'role playing game'... as you basically go around and punch stuff, level up your X-Men character, and use the X-Man's special talents and powers to punch more stuff. It's a lot of fun in its mindlessness... and being able to use new and more powerful abilities is what keeps us geeks playing. Regardless, I own both of the games in the series... and, while I was watching X-Men 3, I remembered that I haven't finished either of the games. In fact, when I started thinking about it, I must own at least half a dozen games that I've played almost all the way through, but for some reason haven't finished. And that, in turn, also reminded me that I have dozens of books that I've started and never finished. Is this indicative of a problem with me?

Well, now that I'm thinking about it, I think there is something about me--something that really enjoys STARTING things, but doesn't necessarily enjoy FINISHING--that is a problem. Could it be that I get bored? It does seem hard to hold my attention for long periods of time. Watching movies has become increasingly hard for me: I fidget, and feel like I should be doing something else; something more interactive. And--particularly because of my reading ability (or lack thereof)--both reading and video games take a long time to complete start-to-finish. As such, it seems like I always find something more interesting to me before I'm done with the previous activity.

I guess this knowledge of myself is the reason why I'm so hesitant to throw myself headlong into writing. I've started a novel... I've started full-length plays... I've started a screenplay--but I don't know how to keep myself interested for long enough to actually finish. Even this blog, which I kept at for months and years, has fallen by the wayside as I find other things to do. That scares me, frankly. I don't know how to keep myself interested in a particular task for long enough to finish it. And with writing, God, you have the first draft, then the second and third... and I rarely have the wherewithal to finish the first draft on anything longer than 5 pages. That was why I thought Second City and sketch comedy would be so good for me... short bursts of humor, get-in-get-out, and move on!

Where does this leave me then? What have all these questions taught me about myself? Well, perhaps stupidly, I figure if I can finish the small stuff--the stuff that doesn't matter--then I can finish anything. Which brings me back to the beginning of this post: I am going to finish those X-Men Legends games. I reckon, if I can finish things from months or years ago that don't matter... then I'll know I can and will be able to finish important things in the future. Maybe it's stupid but, hey... that's me. Wait... don't call me stupid.