Chief Illiniwek's Last Dance

Last night was the last time University of Illinois mascot, Chief Illiniwek, will be mascoting at a school function because of the, frankly, racist nature of having a Native American caricature as a mascot. But, you see dear children, I have already started down a slippery slope. While the caricature of Chief Illiniwek (and having white dudes dance around in face paint... in a Sioux costume, by the way) is racist, I don't feel that the school's nickname--The Fighting Illini--is, even though the 'fighting Illini' refers to a Native American tribe (the Illini being an Anglicanized version of the Native "Illiniwek" [oh... it all comes full circle]). The state name, Illinois, derives from this native people, and I actually kind of like the idea that the mascot of the state school would be the people from which the state was named (like the Virginia Royal Bastards, or the New York Stuffy-Shirts).

There is a larger issue here, not necessarily condensed into the College sphere. Specifically, professional sports teams who use Native American names and caricatures as mascots. The short list of offenders is not limited to a specific sport, though some are worse than others:

NFL


The Washington Redskins are BY FAR the worst team mascot offender in all of professional sports. The Redskins are not only racist, but they're basically a racial slur of the particular race that they're using as a mascot. This would be the same as the New Jersey Fightin' Wops or the Boston Drunken Micks... It's NOT cool.
The only possible course of action is for Washington's team to change its name. Fortunately for them, I have a number of wonderful possibilities, based specifically on their city. Firstly, as everyone knows, Washington D.C. is the capital of this great nation. We also all know that the name Capitals is taken by their hockey team, so it couldn't just be the Capitals. We also know that Washington has a very high homicide rate. I suggest a name change to the Washington Murder Capitals.
No good? Okay, one more. Washington has a number of famous monuments. How about the NFL team changes it's name to the Washington Penis Monuments?

The Kansas City Chiefs. While not as blatant as the Redskins, this team name could be considered offensive. However, like the University of Illinois now that Illiniwek is done, the Chiefs have no offensive personification of the mascot name. So while the Chiefs might be a no-no, at least they don't have a silhouetted Native American as their mascot. Or, worse, a cartoon caricature of a Native American. Just like...


MLB




The Cleveland Indians are clearly the worst offender in Major League baseball. What upsets me the most is that Cleveland's nickname could easily be changed. How about the Cleveland Rocks? Too close to the Colorado Rockies? Fine... but anything is probably better than this mascot. Even I'm offended by that cartoon face, smiling the big smile of early twentieth century racism.




The Atlanta Braves. Like the Kansas City Chiefs, I can't find anything specifically offensive about this team... 'braves' being a general term for any Native American warrior besides being an admirable adjective. Perhaps the Braves would be okay... if they didn't do that damn "Tomahawk Chop." Face it, Braves fans... you're being racist and looking/sounding pretty stupid at the same time. Stop it. And tell the Florida State people to stop with you. You look like morons when you do it. Seriously.




NHL


The Chicago Blackhawks. One of the original six in the NHL, the Blackhawks have had the same name and logo since their inception in 1926 (75 years, baby). But, since it is 2007, perhaps they should consider a less racial mascot (see photo). How about simply changing the image on all merchandise to that of a hawk who is black... and still keeping the name? Or we could scrap the name altogether and go with something a little more meaningful for those who live in Chicago. How about the Chicago Inconsiderate Drivers?
NBA

The NBA is probably the best American league not to use Native American caricatures. I only found one and it's not really upsetting or controversial anymore.



The Golden State Warriors. Originally referred to a Native American Warrior, though the original Native American mascot has been replaced by some... weird-looking... thing.



BORDERLINE RACIAL OFFENDERS:


NHL has a couple of teams that I'm borderline on whether or not they are a little racist. While the Montreal Canadians may be as harmless as the the New England Patriots or the South Dakota United Stations, but what about the Vancouver Canucks? I was told at an early age that Canuck was a slur for a Canadian. After looking it up on Dictionary.com, their definition for Canuck is "noun Slang: Sometimes Offensive. a Canadian, esp. a French Canadian." Is it cool to have a racial slang word as a mascot? Redskins isn't cool... why should Canucks be?
WHAT IS THAT?! A whale coming out of the letter "C"? HUH??!






What about teams like the Boston Celtics? They've mispronounced 'Celts' forever (check against them)... but they decided on Celtics because of the large Irish population in Boston (check for them). Is this image offensive? Not to me... and I'm more Irish than the mascot (who doesn't even have red sideburns... look at that jet black hair! Historically inaccurate!). Although, put a Guinness in his hand instead of a basketball and you've have the most horribly stereotyped Irish caricature ever.




And there's always The University of Notre Dame's Fighting Irish. Just look at that picture. I know that's what I look like when I stand still... but it's probably not, on the whole, accurate. I think one could probably be upset by Notre Dame but I'm Irish and I'm not complaning. Does that stop it from being racist? No. And maybe that's the problem. I suppose if we're going to take racism out of sports mascots, we had better take it out of everywhere. Possible mascot change for Notre Dame? The University of Notre Dame Golden Domers. No joke here... that would probably work.