Setting The Debate To Rest
I know this has been the question on everyone's mind and I just wanted to take the time to finally put it to bed. Okay, fine, here it is:

I'm Anna Nicole's baby daddy.

Phew. I'm glad that's off my chest. You don't know how much keeping that secret inside had bothered me at night... keeping me awake, thinking about my baby's dead, vapid, huge-breasted Texan mother.

Additionally: When did "baby daddy" become part of the American vernacular? Did American media forget how to articulate "father of her child" or "her child's biological father"? It's four words at most! We have 24-hour news channels covering the "news" of Anna Nicole's death and we're worried about the extra 1.2 seconds it takes to say two more words? Come on! It makes our media sound like complete morons (and like we really need help in that department).