NATIONAL NEWS The Supreme Court Rules!... and they also made a ruling
The Supreme Court ruled today on the Ahmed Salim Hamden case. Hamden was the driver/bodyguard of Osama Bin Laden and was detained as an "enemy combatant" at Gitmo in Guantanama Bay (Prisoners Of War have to be part of an army and al Qaeda, while highly organized, is somehow not considered an army). And, because of the symantics--because of the language of who this person was to America--we thought we did not, as a government, have to afford him the same rights that a POW is afforded (thank you Geneva Convention). What today's Supreme Court ruling says--basically--is that the idea of an "enemy combatant" being different than a POW is wrong, and it's time to afford these people the same basic rights as POWs. A better way of putting this, and the way my dad said it in his email is: "the Bush administration did not have authority to set up the war crimes tribunals and found the military commissions illegal under both military justice law and the Geneva Convention."
This seems a large blow to Bush's "Let's get those freedom-haters" attitude and is something of a surprise to me. Bush personally appointed two of these Justices, his father appointed two others... I just assumed (like a moron) that he'd always have at least four votes in his pocket. This particular ruling was 5-3 (with Chief Justice Roberts obstaining from the vote), with the three descenting votes Thomas, Scalia, and Alito. Perhaps that should read Scalia then the other two... as they've both been acqused of blindly following Scalia in their Justice careers. Regardless, it's refreshing to see that no President, no matter how many Justices they appoint, is above the reach of the Court.
Now it's time to figure out what to do with all those people in Gitmo. Bush says he wants to just send them all home and I don't blame him. The only problem now (I'm going to sound so conservative) is that we've just held 400 people in pretty poor conditions and we're going to release them? How pissed would you be if that was you? And how badly do you think they would want to come back here and get some retribution? I think this situation is only going to get more complicated before it gets better. Keep your eyes peeled on this one!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
LOCAL NEWS I'm Thinking Pink
Whether you know it or not, over the weekend the CTA opened a brand new train line: the Pink line. The Pink line was named by a local middle school which is, as far as I can tell, an all girls school. There are some ads up on other trains (i.e. the Brown Line) that supposedly show why Pink was picked. The reasons include that Pink is happy; that Pink should be said more often; and that I am a middle-school aged girl and have no grasp of how hard it would be for a college-aged boy to get his drunk ass home from the Cubs game via the "Pink" line. Perhaps the worst thing about the Pink line is the fact that it runs along an already established line (the Blue 54/Cermak)... it's just going to be more frequent than the Blue line to those stops.
I suppose, as stupid as I think naming a train "Pink" is... I honestly can't come up with a better color. Keeping in mind that Yellow, Purple, Red, Blue, Green, Brown, and Orange are already taken, honestly what's left? I mean, also factoring in the Political Correctness inability to name a line White or Black... and the fact that you want the color to be a one- or two-syllable word which is easy to say and is a color distinct enough that when visitors from other countries visit Chicago they can easily distinguish between the lines... what's left? Chelsey came up with one: The Silver line. The trains are already Silver, she said... why not name the line Silver? I honestly don't know why not... Silver is better than any other color I can think of. Pink is actually a little to derivative (of the Red line) to be better than Silver. But if we are doing derivative colors, wouldn't one that's more like Blue be better for a line that's replacing Blue line service?
In addition to the Pink line service, the CTA also did some minor tweaking over the weekend. All of the system maps have been replaced (to include Pink line service), and the train voice-overs have been modified. Now the train polietly asks people to be courtious when talking on a cell phone or listening to music playing devices. Now the train warns that soliciting and GAMBLING are prohibitited on CTA trains. And, the worst change of all, what used to be my favorite stop "This is Chicago"... is now "This is Chicago and Franklin." Not as cool... and there goes my one idea for a movie!
Whether you know it or not, over the weekend the CTA opened a brand new train line: the Pink line. The Pink line was named by a local middle school which is, as far as I can tell, an all girls school. There are some ads up on other trains (i.e. the Brown Line) that supposedly show why Pink was picked. The reasons include that Pink is happy; that Pink should be said more often; and that I am a middle-school aged girl and have no grasp of how hard it would be for a college-aged boy to get his drunk ass home from the Cubs game via the "Pink" line. Perhaps the worst thing about the Pink line is the fact that it runs along an already established line (the Blue 54/Cermak)... it's just going to be more frequent than the Blue line to those stops.
I suppose, as stupid as I think naming a train "Pink" is... I honestly can't come up with a better color. Keeping in mind that Yellow, Purple, Red, Blue, Green, Brown, and Orange are already taken, honestly what's left? I mean, also factoring in the Political Correctness inability to name a line White or Black... and the fact that you want the color to be a one- or two-syllable word which is easy to say and is a color distinct enough that when visitors from other countries visit Chicago they can easily distinguish between the lines... what's left? Chelsey came up with one: The Silver line. The trains are already Silver, she said... why not name the line Silver? I honestly don't know why not... Silver is better than any other color I can think of. Pink is actually a little to derivative (of the Red line) to be better than Silver. But if we are doing derivative colors, wouldn't one that's more like Blue be better for a line that's replacing Blue line service?
In addition to the Pink line service, the CTA also did some minor tweaking over the weekend. All of the system maps have been replaced (to include Pink line service), and the train voice-overs have been modified. Now the train polietly asks people to be courtious when talking on a cell phone or listening to music playing devices. Now the train warns that soliciting and GAMBLING are prohibitited on CTA trains. And, the worst change of all, what used to be my favorite stop "This is Chicago"... is now "This is Chicago and Franklin." Not as cool... and there goes my one idea for a movie!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
PERSONAL Goin’ to California
As you can see, I’m back from my first visit to Los Angeles. Friday was a very long day. We finished our Skybox show Thursday night at around midnight, and then I headed back to the apartment and packed (who does things last minute? This guy). It was probably around 1:30 by the time I was done packing and ready for bed. That’s normally not so terribly late for me, except that I had to be awake at 4 for my 6:30 flight. I probably got less sleep than it seems, as I’m always anxious the night before a big trip. So I was going on very little sleep… and I think everyone else in the cast was on the same boat. When I got to Midway in the morning, my director—Angie—was pretty much asleep, and her husband was bleary-eyed and keeping track of their luggage.
I should take the time to note something special about this trip here. I have flown a few times, but I’ve never NOT checked baggage on a flight. This flight was short enough that I took a couple carry-ons with me and that was all I needed. That was awesome! Combined with the fact that I could print my boarding pass up to 24 hours before the flight, I was able to go from entrance to gate in about half-an-hour on the flight to LA (and, seriously, about five minutes on the trip to Chicago. LAX is so big, and Monday night such a non-busy time, that I made it through the security check-points without waiting in line). If I can swing it, I’ll never check another bag again.
The flight there actually seemed short because I was able to sleep on the plane. That’s amazing for me, as I can’t sleep on planes, in cars, or in war-zones. I took about half-a-dozen short naps… in between pulling on the guy’s chair in front of me (I’m an asshole) and accidentally kicking the guy behind me. That makes me awesome.
When we landed at LAX, we looked around to find other cast members. We were the first to land, so we had to kill some time (in the food court) and then try to convene with the other cast. The other cast members landed in a different terminal (a foreign concept to me… terminals?! Why doesn’t everyone land in the same building?). When Gillian called me to tell me where they were, she said that they were in the Tom Brady building. This made me confused and angry. “Tom Brady? Why would Tom Brady get a building?” Now Jim will tell you that it’s because he’s got fifteen-hundred Super Bowl rings. But even all those rings can’t justify your own building in an airport of a city in which you never played. So Angie, Tom, and I walked around asking where the Tom Brady building is located… and we had three people tell us before someone said “You mean the Tom Bradley building?” Ah yes… Tom Bradley!
After feeling like a moron for half-an-hour, we finally met up with everyone and rented a car. Gillian decided to spend the extra cash and get a convertible… so there we were, in Southern California, in a convertible. I don’t want to say that I felt like a choch… but I did.
We then headed to Jill’s parent’s house in Pasadena and I got a tour from Jill and her mom (including the big doughnut-shaped doughnut shop, the Staples Center, and the Rose Bowl). The afternoon was spent lying all around a room (on the floor, on a bed, on the ceiling) as a cast talking about life and love and everything in between. Jill had a vision of everyone turning into a big sorority at her house, and we kind of did. It was nice to talk to the cast as people, and get to know them a little.
After the unfunny comedy improv show, the cast and I went around to the front of IO West--the front is a bar which leads to their mainstage. That, my friends, is where I saw Weird Al. You know, the guy who sings the funny songs? Yeah, him. I would have gone up to him and talked to him, but he looked like he didn’t want to be there and I pussed out. If I play my cards right, this won’t be the only chance I get to meet him. If I don’t, it’s not going to be a big deal whether or not I said “Hey” to Weird Al Yankovic. But most of the night was uneventful… and we, as a tired, exhausted, redundant group, headed back to Jill’s to sleep.
Saturday morning, the cast and I went to a local golf course, you know, for breakfast at the clubhouse. Nothing says luxury like clubhouse breakfasts (even though this breakfast was fairly reasonably priced). Additionally, they put avocado in everything out in California. And I mean everything. Gross.
After breakfast, Susan and Adam picked me up. That’s when I met Cubby. Cubby is the adorably precious dog of Adam and Susan. He sniffed me and decided he should be doing something else. I’m not very interesting. Not even to cute dogs.
Adam drove me through LA from Pasadena… making sure to point out anything scenically interesting along the way. We got to their apartment just in time to get lunch at a little place I like to call “Yuca’s.” Now Yuca’s, for those of you who don’t know, is a burrito stand which is basically the size of my first apartment’s bathroom, and is located in a parking lot. I didn’t paint a favorable picture, but that’s to let you experience the pure shock and juxtaposition at the amazing flavor explosion that is Yuca’s. It was yum yum good. And it was the type of flavor (pun intended) that I wanted to experience in LA: get a real sense of what the city is like if broken into smaller neighborhoods.
Saturday evening I met Adam and Susan’s friends, and we met up with Dave… and old friend from Albion who has floated in and out of this hero’s life. We went to a nice outdoor restaurant—had our dinner—then rented some movies. I find it odd that we were six college graduates and we rented two cartoons. After watching cartoons and drinking mudslides (made with vanilla ice cream instead of ice… so good!), most of us were asleep. Those that were awake stayed awake until 3 AM watching the Jackass movie.
Sunday was fun, too. We went as a group to an LA street festival. That’s where I learned the importance of curb-seating. After the festival, we reconvened at the apartment to meet up with Miss Colleen. She had been in Chicago, and missed me terribly. Only half of that sentence is true. While Colleen and I caught up, Susan and Adam made a delicious home-cooked meal. We ate and then I forced everyone to sit through my Second City DVDs. They all seemed to like my Conservatory show the best.
Sunday night, Adam and I went out to the Viper Room to see a band of a friend of his. I was instantly brought back to my days of Outer Core. The room was small (although you wouldn’t know from the $10 drinks at the bar), and everyone was standing around listening to the music—kind of bobbing their heads. The band we went to see was actually pretty good. They sounded like a combination of Nirvana and someone else good… it sounded pretty. And we bonded over the loud, interesting, and over-air conditioned experience.
Monday was interesting, too. Adam and Susan both had to go to work early… and I was left to fend for myself and eventually walk the dog. I’ve never walked a dog by myself before, so I was really excited to be able to have that responsibility. Cubby and I successfully got to the corner, turned the corner, and then he pretty much stopped. There was a mini-Doberman that was with a group of men doing construction and Cubby wanted to smell it, or bite at it, or look at it, or whatever and he stopped walking. After about five minutes I picked him up and walked him away. When I put him back on the ground, he turned around and didn’t move. After a couple minutes of that, I picked him up and moved him further away; set him down; the same thing happened. So we walked back towards the other dog… and that was the walk. We then headed back to the apartment (for some reason he walked through the sprinklers instead of around them… Cubby hates being wet!), and we got back just in time to see Adam who had come home from work to drive me to the airport.
But I wouldn’t get that ride for free (Gross, come on!). We had to do a few things for his work, so I was off to the Beverly Hills City Hall/Police Department/Library building. Nothing says decadence quite like marble in the elevator (not on the floor, on the walls)… and that’s what this city building has. Adam and I waited in two different lines and finally got six “Valet/No Parking” signs. We then went around Beverly Hills (I’m not kidding you) and put these signs over parking meters in such glorious locations such as Rodeo Drive (again, not kidding). After doing a little work, we were off to In and Out Burger (“They have pretty good burgers,” “Shut the phuk up, Donny!”) and then LAX.
That was my weekend in LA. When people have asked me how it went, I really don’t know what to tell them. The weekend seemed to go so fast; and, even though I saw a lot of LA landmarks, I don’t think I got a full enough flavor of what the city is really like. I suppose I’ll have to go back.
As you can see, I’m back from my first visit to Los Angeles. Friday was a very long day. We finished our Skybox show Thursday night at around midnight, and then I headed back to the apartment and packed (who does things last minute? This guy). It was probably around 1:30 by the time I was done packing and ready for bed. That’s normally not so terribly late for me, except that I had to be awake at 4 for my 6:30 flight. I probably got less sleep than it seems, as I’m always anxious the night before a big trip. So I was going on very little sleep… and I think everyone else in the cast was on the same boat. When I got to Midway in the morning, my director—Angie—was pretty much asleep, and her husband was bleary-eyed and keeping track of their luggage.
I should take the time to note something special about this trip here. I have flown a few times, but I’ve never NOT checked baggage on a flight. This flight was short enough that I took a couple carry-ons with me and that was all I needed. That was awesome! Combined with the fact that I could print my boarding pass up to 24 hours before the flight, I was able to go from entrance to gate in about half-an-hour on the flight to LA (and, seriously, about five minutes on the trip to Chicago. LAX is so big, and Monday night such a non-busy time, that I made it through the security check-points without waiting in line). If I can swing it, I’ll never check another bag again.
The flight there actually seemed short because I was able to sleep on the plane. That’s amazing for me, as I can’t sleep on planes, in cars, or in war-zones. I took about half-a-dozen short naps… in between pulling on the guy’s chair in front of me (I’m an asshole) and accidentally kicking the guy behind me. That makes me awesome.
When we landed at LAX, we looked around to find other cast members. We were the first to land, so we had to kill some time (in the food court) and then try to convene with the other cast. The other cast members landed in a different terminal (a foreign concept to me… terminals?! Why doesn’t everyone land in the same building?). When Gillian called me to tell me where they were, she said that they were in the Tom Brady building. This made me confused and angry. “Tom Brady? Why would Tom Brady get a building?” Now Jim will tell you that it’s because he’s got fifteen-hundred Super Bowl rings. But even all those rings can’t justify your own building in an airport of a city in which you never played. So Angie, Tom, and I walked around asking where the Tom Brady building is located… and we had three people tell us before someone said “You mean the Tom Bradley building?” Ah yes… Tom Bradley!
After feeling like a moron for half-an-hour, we finally met up with everyone and rented a car. Gillian decided to spend the extra cash and get a convertible… so there we were, in Southern California, in a convertible. I don’t want to say that I felt like a choch… but I did.
We then headed to Jill’s parent’s house in Pasadena and I got a tour from Jill and her mom (including the big doughnut-shaped doughnut shop, the Staples Center, and the Rose Bowl). The afternoon was spent lying all around a room (on the floor, on a bed, on the ceiling) as a cast talking about life and love and everything in between. Jill had a vision of everyone turning into a big sorority at her house, and we kind of did. It was nice to talk to the cast as people, and get to know them a little.
The reason I was in LA... The LA Improv Comedy Festival
And before we knew it, it was time to head to Hollywood and do a show. Yeah, if you thought I sounded like a choch before; “I had to go to Hollywood to do a show.” Poor me, right? Right? Shut up!
Anyway, the review we had was of a show called “One Way Ticket to Hell” which is a theatre show based on a 50s marijuana propaganda film. Basically the premise seemed to be “If you smoke marijuana, your life will be ruined.” This is where our show started. Oh, did I mention it was a musical? Yeah… it’s a musical. And so was ours. Oh, did I mention I played the lead? Yeah… I was the lead. The cast decided to name me “John” just in case people forgot who the hell I was supposed to be.
So the show was a 50s propaganda musical whose premise was that smoking “reefer” leads to everything going wrong in one’s life. I think, perhaps, I took things a little too literally: My character smoked, drank, listened to jazz music, then stole from the church, and eventually lost his unborn child because his wife took in second-hand marijuana smoke.
Anyway, the review we had was of a show called “One Way Ticket to Hell” which is a theatre show based on a 50s marijuana propaganda film. Basically the premise seemed to be “If you smoke marijuana, your life will be ruined.” This is where our show started. Oh, did I mention it was a musical? Yeah… it’s a musical. And so was ours. Oh, did I mention I played the lead? Yeah… I was the lead. The cast decided to name me “John” just in case people forgot who the hell I was supposed to be.
So the show was a 50s propaganda musical whose premise was that smoking “reefer” leads to everything going wrong in one’s life. I think, perhaps, I took things a little too literally: My character smoked, drank, listened to jazz music, then stole from the church, and eventually lost his unborn child because his wife took in second-hand marijuana smoke.
If the point of the show was just to put on a really good improvised play, I think we kicked ass. Unfortunately, I think everyone had the expectation that we would be putting on a “funny” show… and I don’t think we accomplished that. Such is my problem; when I should be proud of myself for improvising a moving, interesting, musical… I’m upset with myself for it not being funny enough. *sigh*
After the unfunny comedy improv show, the cast and I went around to the front of IO West--the front is a bar which leads to their mainstage. That, my friends, is where I saw Weird Al. You know, the guy who sings the funny songs? Yeah, him. I would have gone up to him and talked to him, but he looked like he didn’t want to be there and I pussed out. If I play my cards right, this won’t be the only chance I get to meet him. If I don’t, it’s not going to be a big deal whether or not I said “Hey” to Weird Al Yankovic. But most of the night was uneventful… and we, as a tired, exhausted, redundant group, headed back to Jill’s to sleep.
Saturday morning, the cast and I went to a local golf course, you know, for breakfast at the clubhouse. Nothing says luxury like clubhouse breakfasts (even though this breakfast was fairly reasonably priced). Additionally, they put avocado in everything out in California. And I mean everything. Gross.
After breakfast, Susan and Adam picked me up. That’s when I met Cubby. Cubby is the adorably precious dog of Adam and Susan. He sniffed me and decided he should be doing something else. I’m not very interesting. Not even to cute dogs.
Here Cubby moonlights as a super-hero. His super power? Being precious.
Adam drove me through LA from Pasadena… making sure to point out anything scenically interesting along the way. We got to their apartment just in time to get lunch at a little place I like to call “Yuca’s.” Now Yuca’s, for those of you who don’t know, is a burrito stand which is basically the size of my first apartment’s bathroom, and is located in a parking lot. I didn’t paint a favorable picture, but that’s to let you experience the pure shock and juxtaposition at the amazing flavor explosion that is Yuca’s. It was yum yum good. And it was the type of flavor (pun intended) that I wanted to experience in LA: get a real sense of what the city is like if broken into smaller neighborhoods.
Saturday evening I met Adam and Susan’s friends, and we met up with Dave… and old friend from Albion who has floated in and out of this hero’s life. We went to a nice outdoor restaurant—had our dinner—then rented some movies. I find it odd that we were six college graduates and we rented two cartoons. After watching cartoons and drinking mudslides (made with vanilla ice cream instead of ice… so good!), most of us were asleep. Those that were awake stayed awake until 3 AM watching the Jackass movie.
Sunday was fun, too. We went as a group to an LA street festival. That’s where I learned the importance of curb-seating. After the festival, we reconvened at the apartment to meet up with Miss Colleen. She had been in Chicago, and missed me terribly. Only half of that sentence is true. While Colleen and I caught up, Susan and Adam made a delicious home-cooked meal. We ate and then I forced everyone to sit through my Second City DVDs. They all seemed to like my Conservatory show the best.
Sunday night, Adam and I went out to the Viper Room to see a band of a friend of his. I was instantly brought back to my days of Outer Core. The room was small (although you wouldn’t know from the $10 drinks at the bar), and everyone was standing around listening to the music—kind of bobbing their heads. The band we went to see was actually pretty good. They sounded like a combination of Nirvana and someone else good… it sounded pretty. And we bonded over the loud, interesting, and over-air conditioned experience.
Monday was interesting, too. Adam and Susan both had to go to work early… and I was left to fend for myself and eventually walk the dog. I’ve never walked a dog by myself before, so I was really excited to be able to have that responsibility. Cubby and I successfully got to the corner, turned the corner, and then he pretty much stopped. There was a mini-Doberman that was with a group of men doing construction and Cubby wanted to smell it, or bite at it, or look at it, or whatever and he stopped walking. After about five minutes I picked him up and walked him away. When I put him back on the ground, he turned around and didn’t move. After a couple minutes of that, I picked him up and moved him further away; set him down; the same thing happened. So we walked back towards the other dog… and that was the walk. We then headed back to the apartment (for some reason he walked through the sprinklers instead of around them… Cubby hates being wet!), and we got back just in time to see Adam who had come home from work to drive me to the airport.
But I wouldn’t get that ride for free (Gross, come on!). We had to do a few things for his work, so I was off to the Beverly Hills City Hall/Police Department/Library building. Nothing says decadence quite like marble in the elevator (not on the floor, on the walls)… and that’s what this city building has. Adam and I waited in two different lines and finally got six “Valet/No Parking” signs. We then went around Beverly Hills (I’m not kidding you) and put these signs over parking meters in such glorious locations such as Rodeo Drive (again, not kidding). After doing a little work, we were off to In and Out Burger (“They have pretty good burgers,” “Shut the phuk up, Donny!”) and then LAX.
This is as close as I got to the Chinese Theatre. This picture was taken from a speeding car and in between two trucks parked in front of the theatre. Not bad... considering.
That was my weekend in LA. When people have asked me how it went, I really don’t know what to tell them. The weekend seemed to go so fast; and, even though I saw a lot of LA landmarks, I don’t think I got a full enough flavor of what the city is really like. I suppose I’ll have to go back.
Friday, June 16, 2006
PERSONAL 24 Little Hours
What a difference a day makes. Wednesday was such a hard day for me: a day where nothing seemed to be going right. Then Thursday came. And Thursday was a nice change in perspective: I was able to finish a fifteen minute workout in the morning; I ate good, healthy meals all day; and, most importantly, I have a lead on a job. I would be working from home (bonus!) and I would basically be categorizing mathematics problems into what the problem actually tests the students--for middle school-aged students. I would be using about a hundred standards for learning mathematics and seeing which apply to the math problems I was given. Did I mention I could work from home? I just recently realized how huge that is for me. I would prefer not to have to work with other people because they drain my energy (and that's less energy I have for the actual work). My mom would say that it's a shame I don't work with people because I have a way with people. A certain charm, a certain charisma... that makes irresistible. But my mom's not here, is she?! Ahh ha ha haaaa!!!
I also had another BR show Thursday night. The review was about an absurdist dark comedy... and I think we played the genre fairly well, even though I'm not a fan of absurdist work. I am just learning that it's difficult to keep each scene consistently funny with our form. We're so busy pushing the plot that we sometimes forget to make people laugh. This is why I like playing the swing (or various) characters. If I'm playing various characters, my goal on stage is to further plot and to get the laughs. Sometimes the director calls this "bits"--if you're not furthering the plot and just trying to get laughs then you're doing "bits." She sees this as a bad thing... but I don't necessarily agree. If you don't have any "bits"... if the show becomes plot, plot, and more plot... then it's not as interesting to the audience as it could be (if you threw in a joke... say anything about blonde neuro-surgeons or the Miami Dolphins). As such, last night I was a swing (various) character and my goal on stage was to give the audience a laugh when the plot got a little heavy. "We're going to do this and this and this," someone would say; and I would respond with "Jokey joke joke." Maybe I exaggerated a little just there, that's not how it happened. That's not what they would say, they would say something that made sense in context... but that is actually a quote of what I said. At the very least, the show went better than the sock puppet Shakespeare. And isn't that all for which we can ask (besides excellent grammar)?
What a difference a day makes. Wednesday was such a hard day for me: a day where nothing seemed to be going right. Then Thursday came. And Thursday was a nice change in perspective: I was able to finish a fifteen minute workout in the morning; I ate good, healthy meals all day; and, most importantly, I have a lead on a job. I would be working from home (bonus!) and I would basically be categorizing mathematics problems into what the problem actually tests the students--for middle school-aged students. I would be using about a hundred standards for learning mathematics and seeing which apply to the math problems I was given. Did I mention I could work from home? I just recently realized how huge that is for me. I would prefer not to have to work with other people because they drain my energy (and that's less energy I have for the actual work). My mom would say that it's a shame I don't work with people because I have a way with people. A certain charm, a certain charisma... that makes irresistible. But my mom's not here, is she?! Ahh ha ha haaaa!!!
I also had another BR show Thursday night. The review was about an absurdist dark comedy... and I think we played the genre fairly well, even though I'm not a fan of absurdist work. I am just learning that it's difficult to keep each scene consistently funny with our form. We're so busy pushing the plot that we sometimes forget to make people laugh. This is why I like playing the swing (or various) characters. If I'm playing various characters, my goal on stage is to further plot and to get the laughs. Sometimes the director calls this "bits"--if you're not furthering the plot and just trying to get laughs then you're doing "bits." She sees this as a bad thing... but I don't necessarily agree. If you don't have any "bits"... if the show becomes plot, plot, and more plot... then it's not as interesting to the audience as it could be (if you threw in a joke... say anything about blonde neuro-surgeons or the Miami Dolphins). As such, last night I was a swing (various) character and my goal on stage was to give the audience a laugh when the plot got a little heavy. "We're going to do this and this and this," someone would say; and I would respond with "Jokey joke joke." Maybe I exaggerated a little just there, that's not how it happened. That's not what they would say, they would say something that made sense in context... but that is actually a quote of what I said. At the very least, the show went better than the sock puppet Shakespeare. And isn't that all for which we can ask (besides excellent grammar)?
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
PERSONAL John and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like nothing is going right? Nothing is going your way at all and you just want to go to sleep and start over in the morning? Such was my day Wednesday. I started the day with a cardio workout (or, at least, most of one). My new cardio DVD has two settings: Ease me into it; and Challenge. I, being me, figured I could do the challenge without any prior workouts. I was, apparently, not up to the challenge... as I had to stop about 6 minutes into the 15 minute workout.
Then there was only breakfast cereal in my breakfast cereal box.
I tried to get my oil changed today, but the Midas was so busy that I was unable to even park in their lot to tell them I needed an oil change. And, since the nearest Midas is 400 miles of construction away, I was forced to sit in traffic on my way back to the apartment.
I tried to change my blog and only recently (about ten minutes ago) was I able to get the actual published page to look like the preview page. Frustration!
Today was also continuing my annual "melancholy" phase. I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything, as the weight of the world seems too great for me to even attempt to push against. You ever have those days? Where it's tough to motivate yourself against all you would have to do? And everything you could do is simply your attempt to move one step forward in your life? Such is my current state. I'm stuck in that place where, if only I could find a job I enjoyed, everything else would happily fall into place (hopefully). But it's not happening... and I'm hurting myself from all the butt kicking I'm doing to try to motivate myself. I'm just not motivated. And I don't know why. But I got back into writing. That's a start.
Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like nothing is going right? Nothing is going your way at all and you just want to go to sleep and start over in the morning? Such was my day Wednesday. I started the day with a cardio workout (or, at least, most of one). My new cardio DVD has two settings: Ease me into it; and Challenge. I, being me, figured I could do the challenge without any prior workouts. I was, apparently, not up to the challenge... as I had to stop about 6 minutes into the 15 minute workout.
Then there was only breakfast cereal in my breakfast cereal box.
I tried to get my oil changed today, but the Midas was so busy that I was unable to even park in their lot to tell them I needed an oil change. And, since the nearest Midas is 400 miles of construction away, I was forced to sit in traffic on my way back to the apartment.
I tried to change my blog and only recently (about ten minutes ago) was I able to get the actual published page to look like the preview page. Frustration!
Today was also continuing my annual "melancholy" phase. I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything, as the weight of the world seems too great for me to even attempt to push against. You ever have those days? Where it's tough to motivate yourself against all you would have to do? And everything you could do is simply your attempt to move one step forward in your life? Such is my current state. I'm stuck in that place where, if only I could find a job I enjoyed, everything else would happily fall into place (hopefully). But it's not happening... and I'm hurting myself from all the butt kicking I'm doing to try to motivate myself. I'm just not motivated. And I don't know why. But I got back into writing. That's a start.
PERSONAL I'm Back!
That's right kiddies, your ol' pal John is back and with a brand new look. I've been wanting to change the format of this blog for a while and just haven't spent much time on it lately. But here it is, in all it's shiny new glory. What do you think of the title? Pretty sweet, huh? The old title didn't seem to fit me anymore--I'm less crazy now and more of a depressed drunk (i.e. Irish). Let me know what you think of the changes in the new comments section (goodbye to the old comments and hello to the easier, Blogger sponsored comment section)! Also notice the new Google Ads section that will hopefully have something to do with the subjects about which I post. If they don't, click on them anyway to give me money. Actually, click on them, close that window, then come back to my page and click on them again... that should get me money.
I have things to update about my trip with Miss Chelsey to Las Vegas and my trip to Los Angeles to the LA Improv Festival... but first thing's first, here's my new page and new format. Enjoy!
That's right kiddies, your ol' pal John is back and with a brand new look. I've been wanting to change the format of this blog for a while and just haven't spent much time on it lately. But here it is, in all it's shiny new glory. What do you think of the title? Pretty sweet, huh? The old title didn't seem to fit me anymore--I'm less crazy now and more of a depressed drunk (i.e. Irish). Let me know what you think of the changes in the new comments section (goodbye to the old comments and hello to the easier, Blogger sponsored comment section)! Also notice the new Google Ads section that will hopefully have something to do with the subjects about which I post. If they don't, click on them anyway to give me money. Actually, click on them, close that window, then come back to my page and click on them again... that should get me money.
I have things to update about my trip with Miss Chelsey to Las Vegas and my trip to Los Angeles to the LA Improv Festival... but first thing's first, here's my new page and new format. Enjoy!
Monday, May 29, 2006
PERSONAL On The Road Again...
Hey kids... it's your ol' pal Crazy here in sunny Las Vegas, Nevada. Chelse and I are half-way through our vacation and have been spending some quality time with Mr and Mrs Staff Sergeant USA. Their house on base is very nice... and their hospitality has been even nicer--we've seen the strip; hiked the Red Rock Canyon; cooked our own pizzas; and been introduced to some fun board and card games. I'm particularly a fan of Sequence... which is basically connect four with cards and a partner.
This leg of the trip, however, has been particularly hard on me. I've been to Las Vegas three times before and never have I felt as bad about my self image as I have on this trip. The fact that I was in a rut before I got out here could be a contributing factor... but, regardless, it has been particularly hard on me to see the thin, tall, tanned, muscular men who walk around Vegas with that same smug, shit-eating grin that seems to be shared by all these college frat boys. It's not like I want to be like them... I just want to look a lot more like they do. I wonder if I would have to give up my fantastic wit and charm and modesty as well--if I'd have to succumb to being a vapid, beer-drinking yuppie. I would certainly have to change my life-style. I've been thinking a lot about that lately. Ken used to be someone--one of the few people--I could talk about video games with... but now he's into being married and cooking and owning a house. You know, adult stuff. Part of me thinks that I'm too old for the time and energy I put into the ol' XBox--I'm once again the kid who didn't recognize he was too old for trick-or-treating until he was standing on neighbors' porches in his Batman costume, watching younger kids half his age walking up and down the neighborhood, and finally he turns to his father and asks him "Can we just go home now?" It's probably time for me to move on to the next stage in my life... to grow up and settle down; to choose the right path or be left behind.
I've been talking a lot to Chelsey about my want of the NextGen consoles coming out this year, and her response mostly seems to be something to the effect of "When you get your job, you can do whatever you want to with your money." But I know that's not entirely true. When I get a job I'll be doing my share of the bills... we'll get a bigger apartment with bigger bills; and she'll want me to put something into savings or set up some kind of investment. It's almost as if this vacation (and the subsequent job search) marks the end of my extended childhood. And I know me, it won't be a gradual change... I'll decide that I'm done and I'll be done. I will effectively kill that part of myself and start over. Maybe that's what I need, though. Maybe I need to start from the beginning, create a healthier existence for myself. I don't know. But I do know that it's late in my best friend, the WAR VETERAN's, HOUSE and I should get to bed because I wouldn't want to wake up his WIFE. It sure feels like everyone is growing up but me... and does that make me the boy who never grew up?
Hey kids... it's your ol' pal Crazy here in sunny Las Vegas, Nevada. Chelse and I are half-way through our vacation and have been spending some quality time with Mr and Mrs Staff Sergeant USA. Their house on base is very nice... and their hospitality has been even nicer--we've seen the strip; hiked the Red Rock Canyon; cooked our own pizzas; and been introduced to some fun board and card games. I'm particularly a fan of Sequence... which is basically connect four with cards and a partner.
This leg of the trip, however, has been particularly hard on me. I've been to Las Vegas three times before and never have I felt as bad about my self image as I have on this trip. The fact that I was in a rut before I got out here could be a contributing factor... but, regardless, it has been particularly hard on me to see the thin, tall, tanned, muscular men who walk around Vegas with that same smug, shit-eating grin that seems to be shared by all these college frat boys. It's not like I want to be like them... I just want to look a lot more like they do. I wonder if I would have to give up my fantastic wit and charm and modesty as well--if I'd have to succumb to being a vapid, beer-drinking yuppie. I would certainly have to change my life-style. I've been thinking a lot about that lately. Ken used to be someone--one of the few people--I could talk about video games with... but now he's into being married and cooking and owning a house. You know, adult stuff. Part of me thinks that I'm too old for the time and energy I put into the ol' XBox--I'm once again the kid who didn't recognize he was too old for trick-or-treating until he was standing on neighbors' porches in his Batman costume, watching younger kids half his age walking up and down the neighborhood, and finally he turns to his father and asks him "Can we just go home now?" It's probably time for me to move on to the next stage in my life... to grow up and settle down; to choose the right path or be left behind.
I've been talking a lot to Chelsey about my want of the NextGen consoles coming out this year, and her response mostly seems to be something to the effect of "When you get your job, you can do whatever you want to with your money." But I know that's not entirely true. When I get a job I'll be doing my share of the bills... we'll get a bigger apartment with bigger bills; and she'll want me to put something into savings or set up some kind of investment. It's almost as if this vacation (and the subsequent job search) marks the end of my extended childhood. And I know me, it won't be a gradual change... I'll decide that I'm done and I'll be done. I will effectively kill that part of myself and start over. Maybe that's what I need, though. Maybe I need to start from the beginning, create a healthier existence for myself. I don't know. But I do know that it's late in my best friend, the WAR VETERAN's, HOUSE and I should get to bed because I wouldn't want to wake up his WIFE. It sure feels like everyone is growing up but me... and does that make me the boy who never grew up?
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
PERSONAL/VIDEO GAMES My Thoughts On E3
E3 is over. After watching hours of seemingly repetitive E3 coverage ("Let's go to Adam and Morgan" who then say "Let's go to the floor" and that person says "Let's kick it back to Olivia and Kevin" who banter for two minutes about nothing and then say "Let's kick it over to Adam and Morgan" and so on), here are my thoughts on the Electronic Entertainment Expo 2006--lovingly referred to as E306.
My big winner: Nintendo.
Nintendo's Wii: Stupid name, great system
Even though Wii is the dumbest name in the universe, I'm beyond excited (did I just pass excited? Oh no, turn around!) to get the motion-sensitive Wii-mote into my hands. From the games that use the controller to emulate sporting equipment (tennis racquets and baseball bats) to the shooters that use the controller like a light gun (or Red Steel, which uses the Wii-mote as an actual sword--Can a Star Wars Lightsaber game be far off? Nerdgasm times three billion), the Nintendo Wii looks like the next generation of interactivity. Yes, the graphics pretty much suck compared to the 360 or PS3, but game makers might be learning a valuable lesson soon--we just want to play FUN games... we don't care how pretty they look. Additionally, even though Nintendo didn't give us a launch date or price, they've promised that the Wii will be least expensive NextGen console. If you thought all that was good, don't forget that you'll be able to download every fun game that Nintendo has ever made (for the NES, SNES, and N64, that is) onto your Wii! They also promise toGenesisome Sega Genisis titles! Fun! 
My big loser: Sony.
Sony announced the launch price of the PS3: low-end $500, high-end $600... before taxes and accessories. Yes the PS3 looks great, but you've had over a year since the 360 was launched and the PS3 doesn't look good enough to replace it. Moreover, the PS3 will play Blu-Ray DVDs (the powerful and expensive as-yet-not-released disks) whereas XBox 360 will sell an HD DVD attachment (everyone knows what High Definition is all about... pluse, they're less expensive). Blu-Ray DVDs will probably hold around twice the information as an HD DVD (25GB to 15GB for single-layer or 50GB to 30GB for, what I assume to be, a double-layer), but who needs the extra 10 or 20 Gigs if I have to pay twice as much money every time I buy a movie? (I found an incredibly interesting article on Blu-Ray vs HD DVD at Macworld here. The Porn industry may be who decides which format lives on. Weird, huh?)
I'm sorry Sony, I just don't have the money to play games or watch movies on your system when I could get both the XBox 360 and the Nintendo Wii for roughly the same price. I need PS3 to Wow me at E3 2007 before I get serious about saving up that kind of dough.
E3 is over. After watching hours of seemingly repetitive E3 coverage ("Let's go to Adam and Morgan" who then say "Let's go to the floor" and that person says "Let's kick it back to Olivia and Kevin" who banter for two minutes about nothing and then say "Let's kick it over to Adam and Morgan" and so on), here are my thoughts on the Electronic Entertainment Expo 2006--lovingly referred to as E306.
My big winner: Nintendo.
Nintendo's Wii: Stupid name, great system
Even though Wii is the dumbest name in the universe, I'm beyond excited (did I just pass excited? Oh no, turn around!) to get the motion-sensitive Wii-mote into my hands. From the games that use the controller to emulate sporting equipment (tennis racquets and baseball bats) to the shooters that use the controller like a light gun (or Red Steel, which uses the Wii-mote as an actual sword--Can a Star Wars Lightsaber game be far off? Nerdgasm times three billion), the Nintendo Wii looks like the next generation of interactivity. Yes, the graphics pretty much suck compared to the 360 or PS3, but game makers might be learning a valuable lesson soon--we just want to play FUN games... we don't care how pretty they look. Additionally, even though Nintendo didn't give us a launch date or price, they've promised that the Wii will be least expensive NextGen console. If you thought all that was good, don't forget that you'll be able to download every fun game that Nintendo has ever made (for the NES, SNES, and N64, that is) onto your Wii! They also promise toGenesisome Sega Genisis titles! Fun! 
Furthermore, Nintendo seems to have such a firm grasp on the handheld market that I'm seriously considering purchasing a Nintendo DS. From everything I've heard, they've taken the stylus capabilities and added to the gameplay experience that way. Also, they've released some of my favorite old-school games on the DS like Super Mario Bros (and the "New" Super Mario Bros... which is supposed to be a new game just like the really old one) and Excitebike. Oh, hours of my childhood was spent playing Excitebike... building my own courses and jumping hills.
Nintendo DS owns the hand-held market... and your souls
My big loser: Sony.
Sony announced the launch price of the PS3: low-end $500, high-end $600... before taxes and accessories. Yes the PS3 looks great, but you've had over a year since the 360 was launched and the PS3 doesn't look good enough to replace it. Moreover, the PS3 will play Blu-Ray DVDs (the powerful and expensive as-yet-not-released disks) whereas XBox 360 will sell an HD DVD attachment (everyone knows what High Definition is all about... pluse, they're less expensive). Blu-Ray DVDs will probably hold around twice the information as an HD DVD (25GB to 15GB for single-layer or 50GB to 30GB for, what I assume to be, a double-layer), but who needs the extra 10 or 20 Gigs if I have to pay twice as much money every time I buy a movie? (I found an incredibly interesting article on Blu-Ray vs HD DVD at Macworld here. The Porn industry may be who decides which format lives on. Weird, huh?)
I'm sorry Sony, I just don't have the money to play games or watch movies on your system when I could get both the XBox 360 and the Nintendo Wii for roughly the same price. I need PS3 to Wow me at E3 2007 before I get serious about saving up that kind of dough.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
VIDEO GAMES Prepare For A Nerdgasm… Here Comes E3
Sony's PS3 Peaks Interest in NextGen Consoles at E3 2006
If my life had a magic rainbow, the Electronic Entertainment Expo would be at the end of that rainbow. Every year, Los Angeles is host to, basically, a very large, week-long, video game expo. All the big hardware companies are there with large booths where Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo will strut their console and hand-held stuff. All the major software companies are there, too: Rockstar, Electronic Arts, LucasArts, Sega, Bungie, Valve, Ubi Soft, Activision (I could keep going… but I think I’ll stop there)... showing their new games for multiple platforms.
Basically, one who enters the expo gets to walk around and view new game cinematics, play any playable demos, and see what the next year’s gaming technology will be before everyone else (everyone who isn’t at the expo, that is).
But this year… this very year, my pretty friends, G4 will be broadcasting shows LIVE from E3. They will have three hours a day dedicated just to what’s going on inside E3. I’m hoping that my favorite G4 show, X-Play, somehow shows previews or even reviews the booths! Oh, I can’t wait!!!
What I want to see at E3? Sony’s Playstation 3, Nintento’s NextGen Wii (formerly the Revolution), anything
they can tell me about Halo 3 (sure to be a 360 only release… as Microsoft realizes that the PS3 is destroying it in sales [because it will], they’ll pull some “You can only get these games on the 360!” bullshit and they’ll toss lots of money to game developers to develop just for the 360. Just you wait.), and Prices! Prices! Prices! How much are the PS3’s going to be? Are they going to be $700, like I hear they might be? And, as such, how will I afford to purchase a PS3, an Xbox 360, and an HD TV good enough to handle all the incredible graphics? I want E3 to explain to me how I’m going to handle the cost… explain yourselves Electronic Entertainment Expo! I can’t wait. And E3 starts tonight, May 9, on G4. Check your local listings for time and channel *commercial*
Nintendo's Wii Controller... Looks like a Remote Control, tastes like a candy bar
Sony's PS3 Peaks Interest in NextGen Consoles at E3 2006
If my life had a magic rainbow, the Electronic Entertainment Expo would be at the end of that rainbow. Every year, Los Angeles is host to, basically, a very large, week-long, video game expo. All the big hardware companies are there with large booths where Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo will strut their console and hand-held stuff. All the major software companies are there, too: Rockstar, Electronic Arts, LucasArts, Sega, Bungie, Valve, Ubi Soft, Activision (I could keep going… but I think I’ll stop there)... showing their new games for multiple platforms.Basically, one who enters the expo gets to walk around and view new game cinematics, play any playable demos, and see what the next year’s gaming technology will be before everyone else (everyone who isn’t at the expo, that is).
But this year… this very year, my pretty friends, G4 will be broadcasting shows LIVE from E3. They will have three hours a day dedicated just to what’s going on inside E3. I’m hoping that my favorite G4 show, X-Play, somehow shows previews or even reviews the booths! Oh, I can’t wait!!!
What I want to see at E3? Sony’s Playstation 3, Nintento’s NextGen Wii (formerly the Revolution), anything
they can tell me about Halo 3 (sure to be a 360 only release… as Microsoft realizes that the PS3 is destroying it in sales [because it will], they’ll pull some “You can only get these games on the 360!” bullshit and they’ll toss lots of money to game developers to develop just for the 360. Just you wait.), and Prices! Prices! Prices! How much are the PS3’s going to be? Are they going to be $700, like I hear they might be? And, as such, how will I afford to purchase a PS3, an Xbox 360, and an HD TV good enough to handle all the incredible graphics? I want E3 to explain to me how I’m going to handle the cost… explain yourselves Electronic Entertainment Expo! I can’t wait. And E3 starts tonight, May 9, on G4. Check your local listings for time and channel *commercial*Nintendo's Wii Controller... Looks like a Remote Control, tastes like a candy bar
Monday, May 08, 2006
PERSONAL LA Bound
Last night I had my first rehearsal with my new, completely improvised show. The hot topic at rehearsal is the fact that our show has been asked to perform at IO West on June Ninth in some kind of improv festival. Where is IO West, you ask? Well, the smart kids who get gold stars today have already put the title together with what I’m talking about. For those who aren’t getting stars today, here it is: I’m headed to LA! For one night only (unless I get a hold of Adam and Susan and make it two or three nights), I’ll be in Los Angeles for the first time in my life. I’m so excited!
And you want to know the best part? The reason we're going out there is the best part. We were asked to be part of the 4th Annual LA Improv Festival! For realsies... check out their website here. It's famous people from SNL, MadTV, Upright Citizen Brigade... and us! How psyched am I? (Hint: Very)
But that excitement is quelled by the fact that I’m still learning this particular long-form improvisation… form (rehearsal did not go particularly well). I’ve only got a handful of rehearsals to figure it out… but if I keep myself under the same amount of pressure I’ve currently got myself, I should be able to learn the whole process soon enough. I’m still learning *pushes up glasses*.
VIDEO GAMES Kingdom Hearts 2 Song... Like A Siren In The Ocean Of Gaming
I do not have a Playstation 2. My lack of a PS2 upsets me whenever I think about three games: Guitar Hero; God of War; and the Kingdom Hearts series. Kingdom Hearts is an action RPG that combines Japanese Anime with classic Disney characters. I know that sounds like an interesting and potentially terrible marriage, but from everything I’ve heard, the first Kingdom Hearts game was amazing and fun and combined the two genres incredibly. Now there’s a new Kingdom Hearts game out, which has new Disney characters (Captain Jack Sparrow anyone?) and has a haunting commercial song. Every time I hear the song, I stop whatever I’m doing and watch the commercial. The commercial is almost all cut-scenes (but they’re beautiful) so I can only guess what the actual gameplay is like… but I anxiously await the launch of the PS3 because the price of PS2s will drop and I can finally be a Guitar Hero. And maybe I’ll take some time out from my guitar to help Mickey with a sword in the shape of a key.
MUSIC Faktion Album Online
I get a lot of friend requests from bands on MySpace. A lot equals about four per day. Most of the time I don’t even open the page and look at the band’s site… I just leave them on my friend request page to rot. One of the bands that I did look at and add was Faktion. They have been all over MySpace… adding billions of friends and putting trillions of things on their page. However, one of the cool things they’ve done is to upload their entire new album so that fans (or potential fans) can listen before they buy. I listened to almost the whole album… and I think they have a chance to be the next big thing. Or they just have a chance to have me buy one of their albums.
Last night I had my first rehearsal with my new, completely improvised show. The hot topic at rehearsal is the fact that our show has been asked to perform at IO West on June Ninth in some kind of improv festival. Where is IO West, you ask? Well, the smart kids who get gold stars today have already put the title together with what I’m talking about. For those who aren’t getting stars today, here it is: I’m headed to LA! For one night only (unless I get a hold of Adam and Susan and make it two or three nights), I’ll be in Los Angeles for the first time in my life. I’m so excited!
And you want to know the best part? The reason we're going out there is the best part. We were asked to be part of the 4th Annual LA Improv Festival! For realsies... check out their website here. It's famous people from SNL, MadTV, Upright Citizen Brigade... and us! How psyched am I? (Hint: Very)
But that excitement is quelled by the fact that I’m still learning this particular long-form improvisation… form (rehearsal did not go particularly well). I’ve only got a handful of rehearsals to figure it out… but if I keep myself under the same amount of pressure I’ve currently got myself, I should be able to learn the whole process soon enough. I’m still learning *pushes up glasses*.
VIDEO GAMES Kingdom Hearts 2 Song... Like A Siren In The Ocean Of Gaming
I do not have a Playstation 2. My lack of a PS2 upsets me whenever I think about three games: Guitar Hero; God of War; and the Kingdom Hearts series. Kingdom Hearts is an action RPG that combines Japanese Anime with classic Disney characters. I know that sounds like an interesting and potentially terrible marriage, but from everything I’ve heard, the first Kingdom Hearts game was amazing and fun and combined the two genres incredibly. Now there’s a new Kingdom Hearts game out, which has new Disney characters (Captain Jack Sparrow anyone?) and has a haunting commercial song. Every time I hear the song, I stop whatever I’m doing and watch the commercial. The commercial is almost all cut-scenes (but they’re beautiful) so I can only guess what the actual gameplay is like… but I anxiously await the launch of the PS3 because the price of PS2s will drop and I can finally be a Guitar Hero. And maybe I’ll take some time out from my guitar to help Mickey with a sword in the shape of a key.
MUSIC Faktion Album Online
I get a lot of friend requests from bands on MySpace. A lot equals about four per day. Most of the time I don’t even open the page and look at the band’s site… I just leave them on my friend request page to rot. One of the bands that I did look at and add was Faktion. They have been all over MySpace… adding billions of friends and putting trillions of things on their page. However, one of the cool things they’ve done is to upload their entire new album so that fans (or potential fans) can listen before they buy. I listened to almost the whole album… and I think they have a chance to be the next big thing. Or they just have a chance to have me buy one of their albums.
Friday, May 05, 2006
PERSONAL 11-Month Anniversary--Breakfast And A Gratuitously Violent Movie
Near the end of April, Chelsey and I celebrated our 11-month anniversary. That weekend Sarah and Eli were in Chicago, so we headed to Navy Pier to meet them for a fun-filled romp. Err… no romp atall. Whatever. Anyway, we met Eli and Sarah at Charlie’s Ale House—which is quickly becoming one of my favorite bars/restaurant in Chicago. Chelse and I ate with Ken and Abi there and anything I’ve tried there is good. That’s Charlie’s... and they’re paying me to tell you how great they are (not really… no one pays me).
After eating, we walked around Navy Pier and I finally took Chelsey on the Ferris wheel.
Near the end of April, Chelsey and I celebrated our 11-month anniversary. That weekend Sarah and Eli were in Chicago, so we headed to Navy Pier to meet them for a fun-filled romp. Err… no romp atall. Whatever. Anyway, we met Eli and Sarah at Charlie’s Ale House—which is quickly becoming one of my favorite bars/restaurant in Chicago. Chelse and I ate with Ken and Abi there and anything I’ve tried there is good. That’s Charlie’s... and they’re paying me to tell you how great they are (not really… no one pays me).
After eating, we walked around Navy Pier and I finally took Chelsey on the Ferris wheel.
She’s wanted to ride the Ferris wheel since BEFORE she moved here, but for some reason we never made it up there. That reason could be my great discomfort with heights. I don’t want to say “fear”… because it’s more of an anxiety than a fear, but let’s just say I don’t feel comfortable with the thought that falling from wherever I am will kill me. Regardless, we all enjoyed our 7 minutes of Heaven (the ride was 7 minutes).
After the ride, we went to Hagen Das to celebrate the fact that I’m still alive. Chelsey and I split some Rocky Road thing… it looked like this.
It was as good as it looked. After ice cream, when everyone was happy and full I decided to ruin it by taking everyone to see Silent Hill. I wish I was kidding. Silent Hill is probably one of the best video game to movie movies I’ve seen in a while. However, if given a choice to see it with Chelsey after knowing what’s actually in the movie… there’s no way I’d go to see it again. Without getting too much into it, there are some gratuitous torture scenes in the movie and that really disturbs her.
It was far too late at night, after the movie was done, to make amends. I needed to do something, however, and so in the morning I decided to have a great large breakfast for us. Chelsey wanted it to be something that we did together, so I drove her to the grocery store, she picked up some food and we came back to the apartment to make it. A million eggs, thirty-three pounds of bacon, and four cinnamon rolls later and look at what we did!
It was the best breakfast I’ve had since I left college (you know, three years). Chelsey and I had a very relaxing and wonderful anniversary, and I look forward to the year anniversary in May (we’ll be on vacation… I hope to blog from the road).
PERSONAL My New Show
Every once in a while I’m fortunate enough to be privy to a new comedy show before other people are. This usually means that I don’t have to audition for the new show. That makes me insanely happy, as auditioning for stuff is my least favorite part of the “business.” So imagine how excited I was when I heard from my friend Gillian, who emailed me and asked me if I wanted to be a show she’s in. The show, Bad Review, has been performing for weeks now but they’re looking to add another member for a run in the Skybox. I was asked to be that other member… I mean person. I was asked to go see the show (which I did a couple of weeks ago), and I’m currently awaiting my first rehearsal with them.
What’s the show about? The show takes the worst theatre review from the past week and improvises an entire new play that the reader would have liked. You heard me right, it’s an entire improvised play. This is something I’ve been waiting to do for months, nay years! (No… really months) I don’t know if I’m ready for a fully improvised show… but I will continue to not know until I do it. And that’s why I’ve got to do this show—I’ve got to see if I can do this. Look for me in the skybox with this show in mid-June.
PERSONAL I'm Breathing Right!
A couple of weeks ago, Chelsey woke me up because I was sleeping funny. You see I have sleep apnea, which, if you follow the link, is a sleeping/breathing condition wherein the person momentarily stops breathing during sleep… and then that person has to “catch up.” As such, Chelsey caught me in one of my “non-breathing” moments and was scared for me. I didn’t like the thought that I was making Chelsey worried, so I thought I would try to figure something out that could help. My first solution was to try Breathe Right strips. The first night I tried it, I was instantly amazed at how easily I could breathe in through my nose. It felt like my nasal passages were opened as wide as I think they are when I point at them. Unfortunately, since one has to apply these strips to oneself, I think there were a couple of days in the past week or two when I didn’t apply them correctly. But last night I know I did it right again because the air is coming so easily! I’m a big commercial today! (The funniest part of the box is that it says "Drug Free"... like I'm really concerned about all the drugs used in a product which is an adhesive strip with two plastic bands on it. Thanks for easing my concerns)
Thursday, May 04, 2006
SPORTS Pistons Advance; Wings Let Me Down
When this postseason started for the NBA and the NHL, I was pumped. For the first time in the history of the universe, one city had the best team in both basketball and hockey. New York, Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago… they’ve all never done it before: it was Detroit, baby. D-Town entered the postseason with the Pistons having the best record in the NBA and the Red Wings winning the Presidents cup. Before I get into the Pistons win over the Bucks, let’s talk about the Red Wings.
One year ago, hockey left me. Hockey left us all. In all honesty, I don’t think anyone in Chicago even noticed. And, unfortunately, I’m one of those people. Even when hockey came back this season, there was no way for me to watch any of the hockey games. Chicagoans like to pretend that the Blackhawks don’t exist… and, as such, don’t get to see the Blackhawk games on TV. Furthermore, I don’t get FOX Sports Detroit or any Canadian channel (where the hockey comes from), so I was unable to see the Wings play all but a handful of games this past season. And that reminds me, I didn’t know that hockey was on NBC until fairly late in the season (because I don’t really watch NBC)… and I was lucky enough to find the playoff games on OLN only because I was looking for them. OLN? Who the hell watches OLN? I guess I did. I watched five of the six Red Wing playoff games (not as closely as I would have liked, however)… and I’m not the least bit surprised that the Wings lost. I think I only actually saw two of the Wings goals the entire series. It seemed like whenever I would turn the game on, the Oilers were scoring. And Red Wings playoff hockey is SO INTENSE! I watched all of game 2 and was so MAD when the game was over that I said some pretty mean things. There are only three sports teams that REALLY get my juices flowing, particularly when they lose—but with Red Wings playoff hockey (unlike my Packers), I get mad after a loss. Packers losses make me depressed, not angry. Red Wing losses make me absolutely furious! I know how talented they are as a team… and I feel like, if the Wings lose, they’re losing because they’re not working as hard as the other team. They have the talent… they just need to work harder and smarter… and that’s why I get mad. The Edmonton Oilers WANTED it more. They wanted it and they got it. It didn't look like the Wings wanted it... and want is key to NHL playoffs. More than any other sport, 'want' will beat out pure talent in the NHL 9 times out of 10. Now what for the Wings? Is this the year we see the mass exodus? When we see Yzerman, Chelios, Shannahan, Lang, Lidstrom, Draper, and Maltby all retire? Will Detroit fans murder Manny Legacy, as it seems they always do with goalies who don’t win cups for the Wings? Will the Wings realize that, short of Zetterberg (who REALLY came on in these playoffs!) and Datsyk… the Wings have no good, young players? What will happen to Jiri Fischer… will he ever play again? Interesting questions swirl around the Red Wings this off-season… and hopefully it will entice me back to hockey.
I mentioned to Chelsey that, short of the Wings, I would much rather watch the NBA playoffs than the NHL playoffs. Furthermore, now that the Wings are done, I’ll probably stop paying attention to the NHL playoffs altogether. I’m really into the NBA playoffs this year--partly because the Pistons are so amazing… and partly because the playoffs are so interesting this year. This season, more than any in recent memory, produced competitive match-ups in the first round. Now the Dallas Mavericks (who are sitting pretty in the West) completely destroyed the Memphis Grizzles in 4 games… and the Pistons struggled little against the rising Bucks (who are about one more big player away from being a very good team… Michael Redd could be a star in this league in a different market [Knicks anyone?]), but besides those two series, the other six have been good. And just like I used to feel passionately about the NHL teams that I hated (Colorado, New Jersey, and Dallas come to mind), I now have NBA teams that I hate. I hate the Lakers; I hate the Spurs (I like Tim Duncan and Michael Finley, but hate Tony Parker and Manu “Run-Straight-Into-You-And-You-Get-A-Foul” Ginobli); I hate the Heat (even though I like Shaq and Wade individually… figure that one out); I hate the Pacers and don’t really like the Nets… I love, love, love my Pistons, and I’m cheering for the Bulls, the Cavaliers, and the Clippers (why not the Clippers? and former-CMU star Chris “The Hair” Kamen?) and this all equals my passion about the NBA. The NBA… I love this game *commercial music*
NATIONAL NEWS Newsweek Unveils Top 1,000 High Schools In America
Newsweek magazine released its top 1,000 high schools this week. The schools are ranked thanks to an index which is (basically) the ratio of AP tests taken over the number of graduating seniors. If the ratio isn't 1.000, the school didn't make the list. This is the way Newsweek thinks it is fair to judge high schools. I don't necessarily agree, but I can't really think of a better system. If you follow the link below, you'll notice they also mention the E and E % number. That's the percent of seniors that passed at least one AP (or International Baccalaureate--which must be a test big in other part of the country because I've never heard of it) test. This might be a better measure of whether or not those seniors taken all those tests are actually learning anything. But maybe that's just me. Notice the #2 school in the nation according to their numbers (a school in Alabama) only had 50% of their seniors pass an AP or IB test that they took. Should they really be the number two high school in the country?
Here is the complete list... thanks to the generous people at MSNBC. Let me know if your school made the list. Big Rapids High School, surprisingly enough, did not make the list. In other sarcasm, I was surprised to see that East Grand Rapids HS made the list (668). Fill up the comments and let me know if your school made it. Or just kill time looking over the list like I did.
When this postseason started for the NBA and the NHL, I was pumped. For the first time in the history of the universe, one city had the best team in both basketball and hockey. New York, Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago… they’ve all never done it before: it was Detroit, baby. D-Town entered the postseason with the Pistons having the best record in the NBA and the Red Wings winning the Presidents cup. Before I get into the Pistons win over the Bucks, let’s talk about the Red Wings.
One year ago, hockey left me. Hockey left us all. In all honesty, I don’t think anyone in Chicago even noticed. And, unfortunately, I’m one of those people. Even when hockey came back this season, there was no way for me to watch any of the hockey games. Chicagoans like to pretend that the Blackhawks don’t exist… and, as such, don’t get to see the Blackhawk games on TV. Furthermore, I don’t get FOX Sports Detroit or any Canadian channel (where the hockey comes from), so I was unable to see the Wings play all but a handful of games this past season. And that reminds me, I didn’t know that hockey was on NBC until fairly late in the season (because I don’t really watch NBC)… and I was lucky enough to find the playoff games on OLN only because I was looking for them. OLN? Who the hell watches OLN? I guess I did. I watched five of the six Red Wing playoff games (not as closely as I would have liked, however)… and I’m not the least bit surprised that the Wings lost. I think I only actually saw two of the Wings goals the entire series. It seemed like whenever I would turn the game on, the Oilers were scoring. And Red Wings playoff hockey is SO INTENSE! I watched all of game 2 and was so MAD when the game was over that I said some pretty mean things. There are only three sports teams that REALLY get my juices flowing, particularly when they lose—but with Red Wings playoff hockey (unlike my Packers), I get mad after a loss. Packers losses make me depressed, not angry. Red Wing losses make me absolutely furious! I know how talented they are as a team… and I feel like, if the Wings lose, they’re losing because they’re not working as hard as the other team. They have the talent… they just need to work harder and smarter… and that’s why I get mad. The Edmonton Oilers WANTED it more. They wanted it and they got it. It didn't look like the Wings wanted it... and want is key to NHL playoffs. More than any other sport, 'want' will beat out pure talent in the NHL 9 times out of 10. Now what for the Wings? Is this the year we see the mass exodus? When we see Yzerman, Chelios, Shannahan, Lang, Lidstrom, Draper, and Maltby all retire? Will Detroit fans murder Manny Legacy, as it seems they always do with goalies who don’t win cups for the Wings? Will the Wings realize that, short of Zetterberg (who REALLY came on in these playoffs!) and Datsyk… the Wings have no good, young players? What will happen to Jiri Fischer… will he ever play again? Interesting questions swirl around the Red Wings this off-season… and hopefully it will entice me back to hockey.
I mentioned to Chelsey that, short of the Wings, I would much rather watch the NBA playoffs than the NHL playoffs. Furthermore, now that the Wings are done, I’ll probably stop paying attention to the NHL playoffs altogether. I’m really into the NBA playoffs this year--partly because the Pistons are so amazing… and partly because the playoffs are so interesting this year. This season, more than any in recent memory, produced competitive match-ups in the first round. Now the Dallas Mavericks (who are sitting pretty in the West) completely destroyed the Memphis Grizzles in 4 games… and the Pistons struggled little against the rising Bucks (who are about one more big player away from being a very good team… Michael Redd could be a star in this league in a different market [Knicks anyone?]), but besides those two series, the other six have been good. And just like I used to feel passionately about the NHL teams that I hated (Colorado, New Jersey, and Dallas come to mind), I now have NBA teams that I hate. I hate the Lakers; I hate the Spurs (I like Tim Duncan and Michael Finley, but hate Tony Parker and Manu “Run-Straight-Into-You-And-You-Get-A-Foul” Ginobli); I hate the Heat (even though I like Shaq and Wade individually… figure that one out); I hate the Pacers and don’t really like the Nets… I love, love, love my Pistons, and I’m cheering for the Bulls, the Cavaliers, and the Clippers (why not the Clippers? and former-CMU star Chris “The Hair” Kamen?) and this all equals my passion about the NBA. The NBA… I love this game *commercial music*
NATIONAL NEWS Newsweek Unveils Top 1,000 High Schools In America
Newsweek magazine released its top 1,000 high schools this week. The schools are ranked thanks to an index which is (basically) the ratio of AP tests taken over the number of graduating seniors. If the ratio isn't 1.000, the school didn't make the list. This is the way Newsweek thinks it is fair to judge high schools. I don't necessarily agree, but I can't really think of a better system. If you follow the link below, you'll notice they also mention the E and E % number. That's the percent of seniors that passed at least one AP (or International Baccalaureate--which must be a test big in other part of the country because I've never heard of it) test. This might be a better measure of whether or not those seniors taken all those tests are actually learning anything. But maybe that's just me. Notice the #2 school in the nation according to their numbers (a school in Alabama) only had 50% of their seniors pass an AP or IB test that they took. Should they really be the number two high school in the country?
Here is the complete list... thanks to the generous people at MSNBC. Let me know if your school made the list. Big Rapids High School, surprisingly enough, did not make the list. In other sarcasm, I was surprised to see that East Grand Rapids HS made the list (668). Fill up the comments and let me know if your school made it. Or just kill time looking over the list like I did.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
FOOTBALL NFL Draft... Packer's Style
As some of you may know (read: hardly any of you), this past weekend was the NFL Draft. Some time in either middle school or high school, my dad and I went to Lambeau Field for the draft... and we were able to watch the draft from the Club Boxes (it was a draft-day thing). This year, my dad and I decided to go to Lambeau Field again for the draft. This year's draft was to be held in the Lambeau Field atrium... complete with door prizes and autograph sessions. My dad is historically on the ball with Packer “fan” stuff like this, so we got tickets months ago. Additionally, in the way only my dad can do his dad things (What?), he had emailed someone in charge of the event and suggested WiFi access. It should be noted that people actually listen to my dad (unlike me…) [does that mean people don’t listen to me or I don’t listen to my dad? We’ll never know].
Regardless, we were headed to Lambeau Field, computers in tow, ready for the Packers to select AJ Hawk (unless they blew it and drafted Vernon Davis). My dad didn’t figure their would be a lot of people at the event, so we didn’t leave all that early. For once, he was wrong. If there’s one thing about Packer fans (let’s be honest), they aren’t doing anything better than whatever the Packers have planned for that day. Is that because they aren’t important OR is that because the Packers are the most important thing in these people’s lives? I’ll leave that up to you. But you should know that two lines formed leaded up to the atrium… both snaking their way in circles. While in line, from the outside, it didn’t look like we were going to be able to find a place to sit… but that was foolish. Once we got inside, we realized how right we were.
There was no place to sit… no place at all. We had traveled all that way, and my first thought was to go back to the hotel and just watch the draft from there. But my father is the persevering one. He found one chair and then had to look around all over the atrium for another. We found a table that just had one, solitary dude. This dude came to the draft special by himself and wasn’t interested in getting drunk (which put him in the minority with my dad and I)… so I’m sure you’re thinking militia-member. And you wouldn’t be far off from the way this dude looked… but he turned out to be a really nice guy.
Thankfully the Packers pick came pretty fast… and everyone was excited about it. Historically the Packers have a way of destroying seasons with their first round pick. But this year we got the best linebacker *prospect* in the draft. I say prospect because one doesn’t know if draft picks will pan out the way they played in college. AJ Hawk was awesome in college… but who knows if that will translate to the next level?
And who knows if last year’s number one pick, Aaron Rodgers, will pan out? But I do know what he looks like up close. Look!
Up close he looks bewildered! Er... I mean confused. No... wait... anyway, like I said, one of the draws of this draft day event was the autograph sessions. Upon entry into the atrium, everyone was given one of four different cards with a time period on it. The time period, obviously, correlated with which players you would be able to see. Each time period had two or three players… and I was fortunate enough to get the time-frame with Aaron Rodgers. The picture above is of him signing my Rodgers jersey. I waited in line for about five draft picks to see him. I know that doesn't sound like long... but keep in mind that each team does get 15 minutes to draft in the first round. When I got up to him, Aaron seemed more interested in watching the draft himself than meeting with the fans. That's slightly upsetting, but I don't blame him.When I will blame him is when, at the beginning of the 2007-2008 season, he's given the team and he struggles. "He had all that time on the bench to learn" we'll yell... and we won't understand just how much faster the game comes at you in the pros even than on the sidelines. "We want Brett back!" we'll scream. Oh poor Aaron. You want to be the guy after the guy after the guy... not the guy after THE guy.
VIDEO GAMES/TV The Problem I Have With "Cheat!"
I watch a show on G4 (formerly G4-Tech TV)[formerly Tech-TV] called “Cheat!” I watch “Cheat!” because it gives hints, tricks, and tips on popular video games. And, because the whole half-hour episode is generally only about one game, there are plenty of episodes out there (they usually show two back-to-back). But I have a huge, HUGE problem with this show. That problem is the host. Her name is Kristin… and I can’t quiet place my problem with her. Well, I can, I just don’t know why I feel this way. This way equals the fact that it seems like Kristin doesn’t play the games. It feels like Kristin doesn’t play any games. I get the feeling that Kristin has never played video games in her entire life. And something about that angers me to no end. Probably the fact that I could do so much better… because I know the games. Plus I wouldn’t tell lame jokes and think I was being clever (like she does). I would tell lame jokes and know for a fact that I’m not funny in the least. So aggravating! I don’t know why I still watch that show (yes I do… the hints, tips, and tricks).
TV The Problem I Have With $40 A Day
And that leads me to another topic. On one of my favorite channels, Food Network, there’s a show called “$40 A Day.” On that show, Rachel Ray travels around the country and eats in great, exciting places with only $40 in her pockets. I have two problems with this show. The most obvious problem is that Rachel Ray comes in with a camera crew… and you think she’s not going to get a little discount on her meal? (Sidenote: Have you seen some of the tips she gives? Barely 10%! What an uber-bitch!) The second major problem I have with that show is that Rachel Ray is not built like, say, me. She is tiny… and the amount of food she needs to be full is a lot less food than I would need to be full. This is the same problem I have with similar “You can eat for this much a day” shows or articles. I actually saw something in a magazine that was an article like this… which was written by a woman. I mention that it was written by a woman only because this next part wouldn’t make sense if I didn’t mention it. This writer actually ate breakfast by going to a supermarket and eating nothing but free samples. SAMPLES! Do you know how many samples it would take to fill me? (Hint: 3,472 samples). But this is the kind of thing Rachel does… she gets amounts of food that, frankly, wouldn’t work for me. So what good is a show like that to me? If I can’t actually eat and be full for $40 why watch the show? Ahh… so I don’t.
Friday, April 28, 2006
FOOTBALL Favre To Return: Packers Sign Woodson To 7-Year Deal
Yes yes... just like me, Brett Favre is making a triumphant return. Unfortunately, looking at the free agent moves of the Packers this off-season (or lack thereof), only leads me to think that the Packers' management didn't want Favre to return. I mean, let's think about it: Favre took a long time deciding because he wanted the Packers to really bring in some talented free agents... which didn't happen. And it's not like we didn't have the money... or that the talent wasn't out there--we had tons of money under the cap, and we missed out on talented free agents Vinatieri and Arrington (who could still be a bust for the Giants).
But now we've made some headway, both with Favre and with Free Agency. Two days ago, this article surfaced about the Packers signing uber talented and oft-injured CB Charles Woodson. Woodson, if you'll recall, won the Heisman trophy (beating out All-World Peyton Manning) while playing for the University of Michigan Arrogant Bastards. Woodson was, easily, the most versatile, dangerous player in college football in 1997. He could return punts, line up on offense, and could shut-down one side of the field on defensive... and he helped lead Michigan to a shared National Title (remember the days before the BCS?). I have always respected Woodson's talent... and I hope that he can stay healthy enough to make an impact defensively this season. Now the Packers only need to draft AJ Hawk (or, God willing, Mario Williams); move Tauscher from Tackle to Guard and start Kevin Berry; trade Javon Walker for a D-Lineman or Guard; address wide receiver and D-Line need in the draft... and we've almost got ourselves a ballclub. That sounds pretty easy to me. Go Pack!
Yes yes... just like me, Brett Favre is making a triumphant return. Unfortunately, looking at the free agent moves of the Packers this off-season (or lack thereof), only leads me to think that the Packers' management didn't want Favre to return. I mean, let's think about it: Favre took a long time deciding because he wanted the Packers to really bring in some talented free agents... which didn't happen. And it's not like we didn't have the money... or that the talent wasn't out there--we had tons of money under the cap, and we missed out on talented free agents Vinatieri and Arrington (who could still be a bust for the Giants).
But now we've made some headway, both with Favre and with Free Agency. Two days ago, this article surfaced about the Packers signing uber talented and oft-injured CB Charles Woodson. Woodson, if you'll recall, won the Heisman trophy (beating out All-World Peyton Manning) while playing for the University of Michigan Arrogant Bastards. Woodson was, easily, the most versatile, dangerous player in college football in 1997. He could return punts, line up on offense, and could shut-down one side of the field on defensive... and he helped lead Michigan to a shared National Title (remember the days before the BCS?). I have always respected Woodson's talent... and I hope that he can stay healthy enough to make an impact defensively this season. Now the Packers only need to draft AJ Hawk (or, God willing, Mario Williams); move Tauscher from Tackle to Guard and start Kevin Berry; trade Javon Walker for a D-Lineman or Guard; address wide receiver and D-Line need in the draft... and we've almost got ourselves a ballclub. That sounds pretty easy to me. Go Pack!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
PERSONAL Mystery Shopper Extraordinaire!
This week I agreed to do some mystery shopping for a friend of mine from the SC Conservatory. It involves, basically, going to bars and ordering a specific drink with bourbon and seeing if the bartender (or wait staff) recommends a particular brand of bourbon. If they do, great! I'm done! If they don't... I end up spending five minutes trying to look like I'm not interested in other brands until they hit the right one. What I found out Monday is that they sometimes don't get it right, even after five minutes. I also found out Monday--in my zeal to get a headstart on the week--that four drinks in an hour and a half is probably my limit. It's probably over my limit. It passed my limit and asked it for ex-girlfriend's phone numbers on the way. Regardless, I was able to call Randi from the second bar (Happy Birthday!) and I told her that mystery shopping is probably right up my alley. I get to act and improvise... I get to be overly critical... and it allows me to feel like I know something that the other person doesn't--all these things point to the fact that I'm petty. Wait... that's not where that sentence was going. All those things point to the fact that I'd be good at mystery shopping as a job (not a career, just a job)... if there are such people as professional mystery shoppers.
Randi said that her new horse is so good, if they lose at all this season it will be because she, Randi, messed up. Can you believe that? Sure, she says that now... but what happens after that first loss? It'll be "the sun was in my eyes" this, and "you were shooting at me" that... she won't blame herself.
PERSONAL Speaking Of Jobs...
You are being written to by the Second City Training Center's new Writing Program Intern. Of course it's an unpaid position! but that doesn't mean I'm any less excited to continue to be a part of that magical place. I am hoping that I can create a relationship with some of the writing instructors there and maybe they'll let me know of other places in town I could take writing classes... or maybe they'll have some opportunities that I don't know about to write for contests and things of that nature. Additionally, the internship will allow me to take another class at Second City FOR FREE!!! "What's left to take", you ask? Well, I've wanted to take the Musical Improv classes for a while, but haven't wanted to enough to pay the $250 every two months or whatever. But now, since they're free... I'll most probably learn how to do musical improv! I'll be so awesome then! Everyone will think I'm the greatest. I'll push it to the max (I feel a song coming on... excuse me whilst I sing)...
This week I agreed to do some mystery shopping for a friend of mine from the SC Conservatory. It involves, basically, going to bars and ordering a specific drink with bourbon and seeing if the bartender (or wait staff) recommends a particular brand of bourbon. If they do, great! I'm done! If they don't... I end up spending five minutes trying to look like I'm not interested in other brands until they hit the right one. What I found out Monday is that they sometimes don't get it right, even after five minutes. I also found out Monday--in my zeal to get a headstart on the week--that four drinks in an hour and a half is probably my limit. It's probably over my limit. It passed my limit and asked it for ex-girlfriend's phone numbers on the way. Regardless, I was able to call Randi from the second bar (Happy Birthday!) and I told her that mystery shopping is probably right up my alley. I get to act and improvise... I get to be overly critical... and it allows me to feel like I know something that the other person doesn't--all these things point to the fact that I'm petty. Wait... that's not where that sentence was going. All those things point to the fact that I'd be good at mystery shopping as a job (not a career, just a job)... if there are such people as professional mystery shoppers.
Randi said that her new horse is so good, if they lose at all this season it will be because she, Randi, messed up. Can you believe that? Sure, she says that now... but what happens after that first loss? It'll be "the sun was in my eyes" this, and "you were shooting at me" that... she won't blame herself.
PERSONAL Speaking Of Jobs...
You are being written to by the Second City Training Center's new Writing Program Intern. Of course it's an unpaid position! but that doesn't mean I'm any less excited to continue to be a part of that magical place. I am hoping that I can create a relationship with some of the writing instructors there and maybe they'll let me know of other places in town I could take writing classes... or maybe they'll have some opportunities that I don't know about to write for contests and things of that nature. Additionally, the internship will allow me to take another class at Second City FOR FREE!!! "What's left to take", you ask? Well, I've wanted to take the Musical Improv classes for a while, but haven't wanted to enough to pay the $250 every two months or whatever. But now, since they're free... I'll most probably learn how to do musical improv! I'll be so awesome then! Everyone will think I'm the greatest. I'll push it to the max (I feel a song coming on... excuse me whilst I sing)...
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
PERSONAL Lazy Days
Jim Gaffigan, the comedian, has a bit about what I call "lazy days." To paraphrase, he says "You ever have one thing to do all day and you just can't do it? 'Oh I have to go to the post office... but then I'd have to put pants on. I'll do it next week when I'm not so busy'." That was me yesterday. I had, essentially one thing to do (go to bank--deposit check and change my address with them)... but I just couldn't get around to doing it. "Oh I'm going to have to shave first," I thought... or I would say "It's noon... the bank's probably really busy." Noon could be substituted out and whatever the time was could be substituted back in.
And, in all honesty, those days have made up pretty much the entirety of my last year and a half. Even this morning, I find myself waking up at 10:30... when all normal people have already done stuff--been productive. So this morning brings with it a renewed sense of anger towards myself, because I haven't done anything and continue to do nothing. This is partially based on my viewing of "Walk The Line" last night (which I loved). Cash laid everything on the table and said "This is what I want to do, and everything else in my life is secondary." I really haven't done that... I really haven't done anything, to be honest. I took "classes." Big deal. I'm not doing a regular show on my own. And I'm certainly not making money at it. Hell, I can't even afford to take my girlfriend grocery shopping.
And then I just realized that, what started out as anger towards not having a job became--morphed into--being angry because I'm not doing shows and getting paid--That I'm not a professional actor or improviser. How very interesting. I wonder if this is how everyone who completes the Training Center feels like if they don't have a regular gig waiting for them. Huh. *Pause* I need to shave.
Jim Gaffigan, the comedian, has a bit about what I call "lazy days." To paraphrase, he says "You ever have one thing to do all day and you just can't do it? 'Oh I have to go to the post office... but then I'd have to put pants on. I'll do it next week when I'm not so busy'." That was me yesterday. I had, essentially one thing to do (go to bank--deposit check and change my address with them)... but I just couldn't get around to doing it. "Oh I'm going to have to shave first," I thought... or I would say "It's noon... the bank's probably really busy." Noon could be substituted out and whatever the time was could be substituted back in.
And, in all honesty, those days have made up pretty much the entirety of my last year and a half. Even this morning, I find myself waking up at 10:30... when all normal people have already done stuff--been productive. So this morning brings with it a renewed sense of anger towards myself, because I haven't done anything and continue to do nothing. This is partially based on my viewing of "Walk The Line" last night (which I loved). Cash laid everything on the table and said "This is what I want to do, and everything else in my life is secondary." I really haven't done that... I really haven't done anything, to be honest. I took "classes." Big deal. I'm not doing a regular show on my own. And I'm certainly not making money at it. Hell, I can't even afford to take my girlfriend grocery shopping.
And then I just realized that, what started out as anger towards not having a job became--morphed into--being angry because I'm not doing shows and getting paid--That I'm not a professional actor or improviser. How very interesting. I wonder if this is how everyone who completes the Training Center feels like if they don't have a regular gig waiting for them. Huh. *Pause* I need to shave.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
POLITICS So Good, I Wish I Had Said It
Here's something my dad sent to me today:
On March 1st in Annapolis, Maryland, a hearing on a proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage was taking place.
Jamie Raskin, professor of constitutional law at American University's Washington College of Law, testified as to why the amendment should not be passed.
At the end of his testimony, Republican State Senator Nancy Jacobs, stood up and shouted: "Mr. Raskin, my Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman. What do you have to say about that?"
To which Mr. Raskin replied: "Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You did not place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible."
The room erupted into applause.
Here's something my dad sent to me today:
On March 1st in Annapolis, Maryland, a hearing on a proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage was taking place.
Jamie Raskin, professor of constitutional law at American University's Washington College of Law, testified as to why the amendment should not be passed.
At the end of his testimony, Republican State Senator Nancy Jacobs, stood up and shouted: "Mr. Raskin, my Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman. What do you have to say about that?"
To which Mr. Raskin replied: "Senator, when you took your oath of office, you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution. You did not place your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible."
The room erupted into applause.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
PERSONAL Turn The Page
The title of this post refers to two major chapters in the novel that is my life: 1) I have successfully completed all of my training at The Second City Training Center; and 2) I have completely moved out of my old apartment. Yes, last week was my final Second City Conservatory show. Rather than tell you all about it, you can view it in its entirety here. The link will only work for a couple of weeks, however... so check it out now. Below is a picture of my group, Jamaica University!
Look at how funny we look! No? You're probably right... but tell me the last time you had a unicorn in a class picture. Go on, tell me. That's what I thought. Now who's funny?
I use the metaphor of page turning and chapters because this time does eerily feel like a clean break with the past and a movement forward. It is a very odd time for me, mentally and emotionally. Everything I have known up until this point (except for the people), will be different. A different location, no Second City classes to speak of, and living with someone else for the first time since my senior year in college (which you don't think was all that long ago, but we are talking about three years).
Speaking of living with someone, Chelsey and the apartment are great. We got lots of help from my friend Rob and Chelsey's co-worker Carmen two weekends ago... and my parents helped me with a couple loads of boxes---all in all a pretty painless move when I think about how expensive it could have been. Chelsey and I spent much of last week cleaning my old apartment and organizing this one for both of our best friends from out of town visiting on the same weekend (weird! but true). I'll take/post pictures of the apartment soon. But, for right now, I actually have a business date/meeting tonight. A friend of mine and I (the aforementioned Rob) have written one show and look to write another. We've got four or five solid scenes and are looking to put up a two-man/35-40 minute show within the next couple of months. I'm excited. It's one of four or five projects that I'm looking into now that I'm opening a new chapter in my life. I hope this one is finally called "Adulthood."
The title of this post refers to two major chapters in the novel that is my life: 1) I have successfully completed all of my training at The Second City Training Center; and 2) I have completely moved out of my old apartment. Yes, last week was my final Second City Conservatory show. Rather than tell you all about it, you can view it in its entirety here. The link will only work for a couple of weeks, however... so check it out now. Below is a picture of my group, Jamaica University!
Look at how funny we look! No? You're probably right... but tell me the last time you had a unicorn in a class picture. Go on, tell me. That's what I thought. Now who's funny?I use the metaphor of page turning and chapters because this time does eerily feel like a clean break with the past and a movement forward. It is a very odd time for me, mentally and emotionally. Everything I have known up until this point (except for the people), will be different. A different location, no Second City classes to speak of, and living with someone else for the first time since my senior year in college (which you don't think was all that long ago, but we are talking about three years).
Speaking of living with someone, Chelsey and the apartment are great. We got lots of help from my friend Rob and Chelsey's co-worker Carmen two weekends ago... and my parents helped me with a couple loads of boxes---all in all a pretty painless move when I think about how expensive it could have been. Chelsey and I spent much of last week cleaning my old apartment and organizing this one for both of our best friends from out of town visiting on the same weekend (weird! but true). I'll take/post pictures of the apartment soon. But, for right now, I actually have a business date/meeting tonight. A friend of mine and I (the aforementioned Rob) have written one show and look to write another. We've got four or five solid scenes and are looking to put up a two-man/35-40 minute show within the next couple of months. I'm excited. It's one of four or five projects that I'm looking into now that I'm opening a new chapter in my life. I hope this one is finally called "Adulthood."
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
USELESS FACT Set your clocks!
Here's something my dad emailed me this morning: "This coming Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06. This won't happen again for another 1000 years." As such, I know it sounds lame... but I will most probably be up at 1 AM, just to celebrate this historically useless tidbit of knowledge.
Additionally, it's time to replace the phrase "As American as apple pie" with something more historically accurate... like "As American as the trampoline" or "As American as the fortune cookie." Viva revolution!
Here's something my dad emailed me this morning: "This coming Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06. This won't happen again for another 1000 years." As such, I know it sounds lame... but I will most probably be up at 1 AM, just to celebrate this historically useless tidbit of knowledge.
Additionally, it's time to replace the phrase "As American as apple pie" with something more historically accurate... like "As American as the trampoline" or "As American as the fortune cookie." Viva revolution!
Friday, March 24, 2006
PERSONAL A Sick Chelsey Is Not A Happy Chelsey
Thursday morning, around 11 AM, Chelsey called me from work sounding very weak. She felt ill and wanted me to pick her up from work. No problem... but I was a little worried. She sounded like it was more than just being ill... but I couldn't put my finger on it. When I got to her office building, she climbed into the car and was almost hyperventilating. I was--frankly--scared. Why? For example, I kept asking her if I needed to take her to a hospital, but I honestly don't know where a hospital is in this city. I know there are like a million hospitals in Chicago, but I couldn't tell you where one is except for the Children's Hospital. So I was worried that Chelsey was going to need help and I wouldn't know how to get it for her. Thankfully, she calmed down... I made her soup and sat next to her as she fell asleep. The situation made me so tense that even I took a nap. She was able to sleep all afternoon but had to get up to run tech for her show. I wasn't able to drive her up there because I met with the cast of a show I did a year and a half ago (which was weird and awesome... might write about that later)--but I picked her up after the show.
As far as the hyperventilating is concerned... I think I understand that in retrospect. If I remember correctly, the first time I got really sick in Chicago--I was by myself and I was so afraid that I hyperventilated and I may have cried. I was just thinking about being alone and, had something really terrible happened to me, no one would have know for days or maybe weeks. It's scary to be in a new place and to feel so vulnerable.
NOW SOME SPORTS... YOU KNOW, FOR KATY'S SAKE...
FOOTBALL The Great Vince Young Conspiracy
When I saw Vince Young almost single-handedly defeat one of the greatest teams in college football history (yes I hate them, but they were good) this past January, I seriously thought he would push Reggie Bush for the first over-all pick in the draft. Compound the fact that the first over-all pick was Houston, where Young is from, AND that the Texans had been displeased with their current QB (David Carr)... and I thought Young was almost a lock to go first in this year's draft. Then came the months of down-time between games and the draft... and in came the Vince Young doubters. And the doubters must have been driving buses... because his detractors came out in droves. Now we're hearing he scored a 6 on the Wonderlic (he must be stupid!) and he only ran a 4.53 40 (he's slow!)... and I'm supposed to forget how he can dominate a game from the quarterback position? And now I hear people tell me that Jay Cutler is a better quarterback. Which QB just won the national championship? I tell you what, you can get Cutler and his Vanderbilt teammates and I'll take Vince Young and some of my friends, and I promise we'll beat team Cutler. Vince Young is everything that Michael Vick was supposed to be... he can throw, he can pass, and he can lead a team to a championship. I'll take Young, thanks.
I think the reason he's so heavily scrutinized is because of Vick, actually. Teams don't want a quarterback who gets hurt every season... so they're worried about Young's running. But I will say, right now, that a team will pick up Young later than expected (Raiders at 7? Cardinals at 10? Cowboys at 18??!) and they will get an absolute STEAL! Good luck, Mr. Young.
FOOTBALL Everyone Is Making Big Moves... Except For My Packers
There's not a whole lot for me to report as far as Packers off-season moves are concerned. This year, more than previous years, it bothers me. The Pack weren't very good last season (read: they sucked), and they have tons of money under the cap... so why aren't the Packers going out and getting free agents? Are they trying to get Favre to retire with a shitty passive-aggressive plan? I wouldn't doubt it. If they want Favre to retire, they can't cut him (everyone in Wisconsin would riot) and they can't trade him (everyone in Wisconsin would riot)... but they can make Green Bay so undesirable that Favre doesn't want to return (I'm just full of conspiracies today!).
The Packers were the bottom of the NFC North barrel last season... but do I see the other teams getting better? No... not necessarily. Like what? Let's look:
Bears Additions: QB Brian Griese (Bucs)--I don't understand this... but it means the end of the Kyle Orton era in Chicago. Grossman will be the starter this year until he gets hurt (week 1 or 2), and Griese will be the back-up. This is kind of a crap move, but at least they're making moves. WR Antonio Chatman (Packers)--Good riddance. Chatman has been the Packers only return man for about two years and every time he gets the ball I worry he'll fumble. He doesn't have the skill to actually score a touchdown on a punt or kick (I don't think I've ever seen it)... so I don't get why he was the one returning kicks. Bears fans... have fun watching him fumble.
Bears Subtractions: CB/KR Jerry Azumah (retired)--This one-time Pro Bowler was a dangerous returner. He had injury problems, however, and never became the dominant returner he should have been.
Lions Additions: WR Corey Bradford (Texans)--Remember when Bradford played for the Packers and he had one good season and then left for Texas and the money? Bradford is the ultimate proof that Brett Favre can make mediocre wide receivers look amazing. Good luck with him, Lions. QBs Jon Kitna (Bengals) and Josh McCown (Cardinals)--I'm a Kitna fan. I think he can easily lead a team to the playoffs. I don't know if he's a Super Bowl caliber quarterback... but he's better than Harrington. McCown was the back-up pick... trying to slap Harrington in the face before he left. McCown will be the backup, for sure... and Harrington will be playing piano for money somewhere.
Lions Subtractions: QB Jeff Garcia (Eagles)--Not a big deal here, Kitna is better than Garcia. Hey, maybe Garcia is just trying to follow TO's path. Look for Garcia to end his career in Dallas. CB Andre Goodman (Dolphins)--When Goodman was a rookie, I thought he had a chance to be pretty good. He has, however, disappointed. He might be better in Miami, though, as that defense has a way of making cornerbacks better.
Vikings Additions: This is the hardest one to write. I hate Minnesota... I have so much burning hatred for them, that I'm damn near blinded to how great their offseason has been. Here are the names... and you tell me that they're not head and shoulders above the other teams: G Steve Hutchinson (Seahawks... arguably the best Guard in the league); K Ryan Longwell (Packers... and my personal Fantasy Football kicker for five or six seasons. This hurts); QB Mike McMahon (Eagles... and the guy who, while with the Lions, I said I would have loved to replace Favre); FB Tony Richardson (Chiefs... where he spent his first 11 seasons); RB Chester Taylor (Ravens); and S Tank Williams (Titans). Nice.
Vikings Subtractions: S Corey Chavous (Rams)--Smart and good... Chavous has done draft-day commentary for ESPN for a couple years. I'm glad he's gone from the ViQueens. RB Michael Bennett (Saints)--Any University of Wisconsin player shouldn't have to play for Minnesota... I'm glad he's out. QB Dante Culpepper (Miami)--Is this addition by subtraction? Or is this one of the worst moves Minnesota has made since trading away Randy Moss?
Packers Additions: S Marquand Manuel (Seahawks)--I almost jumped for joy when I heard this. Almost. (Sarcasm!) AND THAT'S IT!
Packers Subtractions: WR Antonio Chatman (Bears) and K Ryan Longwell (Vikings) I've already mentioned. QB Craig Nall (Bills)--Nall tore apart the World League last summer... he's got the skills, he just needs a shot. C Mike Flanagan (Texans)--This angers me greatly. Yeah Flanagan's in his tenth season... but he's good. Remember when the Packers had the best offensive line in football? Wasn't that two seasons ago? But your o-line goes from good to shitty if you let all your players leave. My team sucks.
The Moral of this story: The Vikings are better... but the bottom of the division is still up for grabs. My bet is on the Packers to be pulling up the rear this season. I'm so disappointed in them. *sigh*
Commercials Can Hooters Make Their Waitresses Seem More Vapid? They're Trying
If you don't know what I'm talking about, Hooters has a new advertising campaign. I've only seen one commercial for it, but this is how the commercial goes: Hooters manager woman tells all the waitresses that crab legs are only $7.99 a pound... so sell them up; World's largest body-building grandfather orders crab legs; waitress says "okay," whistles (we get a campy reaction shot from patron), and a scale is brought in; Hooters manager woman wonders aloud to other waitress why no one is buying crab legs; waitress says they're too expensive; when manager is confused, waitress says "that guy weighs over 200 pounds!"... leading to campy reaction shot from manager. Ta da! Commercial done. I mean, no one expects Hooters waitresses to be intelligent... but if I were an intelligent woman working at Hooters, there's no way I'd be happy with this campaign. It's also, frankly, more stupid than funny. And it's not like they need a "funny commercial" so we'll remember Hooters. The people who are going to go there already know it... and the people who aren't eating there aren't going to say "Ha ha... funny commercial, I should eat at Hooters." I cringe whenever that commercial comes on... and I hope someone at the ad agency gets fired.
Thursday morning, around 11 AM, Chelsey called me from work sounding very weak. She felt ill and wanted me to pick her up from work. No problem... but I was a little worried. She sounded like it was more than just being ill... but I couldn't put my finger on it. When I got to her office building, she climbed into the car and was almost hyperventilating. I was--frankly--scared. Why? For example, I kept asking her if I needed to take her to a hospital, but I honestly don't know where a hospital is in this city. I know there are like a million hospitals in Chicago, but I couldn't tell you where one is except for the Children's Hospital. So I was worried that Chelsey was going to need help and I wouldn't know how to get it for her. Thankfully, she calmed down... I made her soup and sat next to her as she fell asleep. The situation made me so tense that even I took a nap. She was able to sleep all afternoon but had to get up to run tech for her show. I wasn't able to drive her up there because I met with the cast of a show I did a year and a half ago (which was weird and awesome... might write about that later)--but I picked her up after the show.
As far as the hyperventilating is concerned... I think I understand that in retrospect. If I remember correctly, the first time I got really sick in Chicago--I was by myself and I was so afraid that I hyperventilated and I may have cried. I was just thinking about being alone and, had something really terrible happened to me, no one would have know for days or maybe weeks. It's scary to be in a new place and to feel so vulnerable.
NOW SOME SPORTS... YOU KNOW, FOR KATY'S SAKE...
FOOTBALL The Great Vince Young Conspiracy
When I saw Vince Young almost single-handedly defeat one of the greatest teams in college football history (yes I hate them, but they were good) this past January, I seriously thought he would push Reggie Bush for the first over-all pick in the draft. Compound the fact that the first over-all pick was Houston, where Young is from, AND that the Texans had been displeased with their current QB (David Carr)... and I thought Young was almost a lock to go first in this year's draft. Then came the months of down-time between games and the draft... and in came the Vince Young doubters. And the doubters must have been driving buses... because his detractors came out in droves. Now we're hearing he scored a 6 on the Wonderlic (he must be stupid!) and he only ran a 4.53 40 (he's slow!)... and I'm supposed to forget how he can dominate a game from the quarterback position? And now I hear people tell me that Jay Cutler is a better quarterback. Which QB just won the national championship? I tell you what, you can get Cutler and his Vanderbilt teammates and I'll take Vince Young and some of my friends, and I promise we'll beat team Cutler. Vince Young is everything that Michael Vick was supposed to be... he can throw, he can pass, and he can lead a team to a championship. I'll take Young, thanks.
I think the reason he's so heavily scrutinized is because of Vick, actually. Teams don't want a quarterback who gets hurt every season... so they're worried about Young's running. But I will say, right now, that a team will pick up Young later than expected (Raiders at 7? Cardinals at 10? Cowboys at 18??!) and they will get an absolute STEAL! Good luck, Mr. Young.
FOOTBALL Everyone Is Making Big Moves... Except For My Packers
There's not a whole lot for me to report as far as Packers off-season moves are concerned. This year, more than previous years, it bothers me. The Pack weren't very good last season (read: they sucked), and they have tons of money under the cap... so why aren't the Packers going out and getting free agents? Are they trying to get Favre to retire with a shitty passive-aggressive plan? I wouldn't doubt it. If they want Favre to retire, they can't cut him (everyone in Wisconsin would riot) and they can't trade him (everyone in Wisconsin would riot)... but they can make Green Bay so undesirable that Favre doesn't want to return (I'm just full of conspiracies today!).
The Packers were the bottom of the NFC North barrel last season... but do I see the other teams getting better? No... not necessarily. Like what? Let's look:
Bears Additions: QB Brian Griese (Bucs)--I don't understand this... but it means the end of the Kyle Orton era in Chicago. Grossman will be the starter this year until he gets hurt (week 1 or 2), and Griese will be the back-up. This is kind of a crap move, but at least they're making moves. WR Antonio Chatman (Packers)--Good riddance. Chatman has been the Packers only return man for about two years and every time he gets the ball I worry he'll fumble. He doesn't have the skill to actually score a touchdown on a punt or kick (I don't think I've ever seen it)... so I don't get why he was the one returning kicks. Bears fans... have fun watching him fumble.
Bears Subtractions: CB/KR Jerry Azumah (retired)--This one-time Pro Bowler was a dangerous returner. He had injury problems, however, and never became the dominant returner he should have been.
Lions Additions: WR Corey Bradford (Texans)--Remember when Bradford played for the Packers and he had one good season and then left for Texas and the money? Bradford is the ultimate proof that Brett Favre can make mediocre wide receivers look amazing. Good luck with him, Lions. QBs Jon Kitna (Bengals) and Josh McCown (Cardinals)--I'm a Kitna fan. I think he can easily lead a team to the playoffs. I don't know if he's a Super Bowl caliber quarterback... but he's better than Harrington. McCown was the back-up pick... trying to slap Harrington in the face before he left. McCown will be the backup, for sure... and Harrington will be playing piano for money somewhere.
Lions Subtractions: QB Jeff Garcia (Eagles)--Not a big deal here, Kitna is better than Garcia. Hey, maybe Garcia is just trying to follow TO's path. Look for Garcia to end his career in Dallas. CB Andre Goodman (Dolphins)--When Goodman was a rookie, I thought he had a chance to be pretty good. He has, however, disappointed. He might be better in Miami, though, as that defense has a way of making cornerbacks better.
Vikings Additions: This is the hardest one to write. I hate Minnesota... I have so much burning hatred for them, that I'm damn near blinded to how great their offseason has been. Here are the names... and you tell me that they're not head and shoulders above the other teams: G Steve Hutchinson (Seahawks... arguably the best Guard in the league); K Ryan Longwell (Packers... and my personal Fantasy Football kicker for five or six seasons. This hurts); QB Mike McMahon (Eagles... and the guy who, while with the Lions, I said I would have loved to replace Favre); FB Tony Richardson (Chiefs... where he spent his first 11 seasons); RB Chester Taylor (Ravens); and S Tank Williams (Titans). Nice.
Vikings Subtractions: S Corey Chavous (Rams)--Smart and good... Chavous has done draft-day commentary for ESPN for a couple years. I'm glad he's gone from the ViQueens. RB Michael Bennett (Saints)--Any University of Wisconsin player shouldn't have to play for Minnesota... I'm glad he's out. QB Dante Culpepper (Miami)--Is this addition by subtraction? Or is this one of the worst moves Minnesota has made since trading away Randy Moss?
Packers Additions: S Marquand Manuel (Seahawks)--I almost jumped for joy when I heard this. Almost. (Sarcasm!) AND THAT'S IT!
Packers Subtractions: WR Antonio Chatman (Bears) and K Ryan Longwell (Vikings) I've already mentioned. QB Craig Nall (Bills)--Nall tore apart the World League last summer... he's got the skills, he just needs a shot. C Mike Flanagan (Texans)--This angers me greatly. Yeah Flanagan's in his tenth season... but he's good. Remember when the Packers had the best offensive line in football? Wasn't that two seasons ago? But your o-line goes from good to shitty if you let all your players leave. My team sucks.
The Moral of this story: The Vikings are better... but the bottom of the division is still up for grabs. My bet is on the Packers to be pulling up the rear this season. I'm so disappointed in them. *sigh*
Commercials Can Hooters Make Their Waitresses Seem More Vapid? They're Trying
If you don't know what I'm talking about, Hooters has a new advertising campaign. I've only seen one commercial for it, but this is how the commercial goes: Hooters manager woman tells all the waitresses that crab legs are only $7.99 a pound... so sell them up; World's largest body-building grandfather orders crab legs; waitress says "okay," whistles (we get a campy reaction shot from patron), and a scale is brought in; Hooters manager woman wonders aloud to other waitress why no one is buying crab legs; waitress says they're too expensive; when manager is confused, waitress says "that guy weighs over 200 pounds!"... leading to campy reaction shot from manager. Ta da! Commercial done. I mean, no one expects Hooters waitresses to be intelligent... but if I were an intelligent woman working at Hooters, there's no way I'd be happy with this campaign. It's also, frankly, more stupid than funny. And it's not like they need a "funny commercial" so we'll remember Hooters. The people who are going to go there already know it... and the people who aren't eating there aren't going to say "Ha ha... funny commercial, I should eat at Hooters." I cringe whenever that commercial comes on... and I hope someone at the ad agency gets fired.
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