Boost Mobile's New GPS System Eliminates Need For Talking

Chicago, IL -- Telephone company Boost Mobile's new product, titled 'Loopt', has added global positioning capabilities for their mobile users. Subscribers to Loopt are able to find the locations of their Boost Mobile friends displayed on a map allowing users to instantly find out where their friends are located. However, the Loopt technology has led to diminished use of the company's other big marketing tool: the Chirp.
This reporter talked with Boost's Assistant to the Vice President in Charge of Public Relations, Heather Dukes, about the new technology. "With the emergence of the technology behind Boost Loopt, we've seen a sharp decrease in the use of our 'Chirps.'" I then asked Ms. Dukes why there was such a decrease, she responded, "I don't know. Hey, are you looking for a peppy, people-person? Can I give you my resume?"
This reporter than decided to head right to the source. I asked Boost Mobile and Loopt subscriber Erik Jackson about his mobile usage. "Ever since I got Loopt, I know where my people at all the time. Since then, it don't make sense to ask em where they at... cause I already know." So they stopped talking, all together.
"So they stopped talking."
Weird. Regardless, perhaps the newest technology from Boost has actually cursed the mobile provider. Can too much technology be a bad thing? Only time, and Boost Loopt, will tell.
-CrazyJohn writes for Irishmen and currently resides in Chicago-