She Called Me Sir...

"Excuse me, sir?" she asked, as I held open the door to the Mobil Station for her and her brother, a Rockstar energy drink in one hand and a Dean's Chocolate Milk in the other. "Excuse me sir, are we in Iowa or Illinoise?" What immediately struck me--as her uneducated-sounding accent hit the end of Illinois so it sounded less like a state and more like a phat beat--was the odd placement of the question. I mean, here we were, not more than 15 miles from the Illinois/Wisconsin border on I-90 (an interstate that doesn't even go through Iowa) and she's asking me if she's in Iowa?

After responding, "Illinois," letting her and her younger brother walk past me into the station, the word hit me: "Sir" she called me. Was it the chocolate milk I was holding? Or the energy drink? Couldn't possibly be it. Was it my clothes? I was wearing shorts and a black polo, but that's certainly not something you see older gentlemen wearing to the country club (or is it?). Or was it her polite way of saying, "How did it feel to start losing your hair at 16?"; "How does it feel to be out of touch with the younger generation's music, language, and affinity for texting?"; "How did people listen to music before the iPod? With, like, rocks and stuff?"

Granted it wasn't the first time anyone had ever called me sir, but usually it is said by a peer in jest, or someone checking me into a hotel, or taking large amounts of my money electronically via credit. Something about this 15 year-old girl's sign of respect hit me too hard that day. Sir.

Glass half full: It IS a sign of respect, something I've long coveted and oft got. And it's not as if I'm a woman. What DO you call a woman to not disrespect her? "Ma'am" and "Madam" are out because they make a woman feel too old. "Miss" carries the complete opposite problem. "Mrs." is tricky because you never know whether the woman is married or not. "Ms." I find too hard to say and generally avoid for that reason. "Ms."... the 'z' hits the back of my teeth hard, closing my mouth and the flow of words from it.

Certainly no word is as clean, universal, and respectful as "Mister" or "Sir"... both easy to say and "sir" makes me feel a little like a knight, now that I think about it. So what IS the proper word to use with a woman? How did I get here? What does this have to do with me? I'm not sure. But it's good to know that, no matter how old I get, I'll still have useless yet thought provoking questions to ask in such a way as to receive no definitive answers ever and I'll end up saying a phrase my dad used to say when I'm older and have kids: "You know, when I die, I hope all of this will be explained to me."