Last day of 2004
Well, today is obviously the last day of 2004. I am going to have something "special" for all my beloved readers next month. Not only will I have the top ten best and worst of 2004 (a list much like I had last year), but I'm going to have a list of my top ten favorite posts from 2004. These posts have nothing (necessarily) to do with the best and worst events of the previous year... but has everything to do with my fabulous writing creativity and world-renown modesty. Whoops... I guess just that first part. But, regardless, I think it's worth pointing out the posts that I really took a lot of time on, or spent a lot of mental energy to write. The blog has really become a large part of my life, and I would be remiss if I didn't praise at least some of it. Besides, I've got a great plan: I'm going to post one Best/Worst/Creative Post per day for the entire month of January. It seems that I've learned something about keeping a blog audience interested, in my old age. Hooray for me! So every single day of January (I've got one honorable mention, so it works out to be 31) I'll post something memorable from 2004.
I would also be remiss if I didn't mention my New Year's Resolutions from earlier this year, and comment a bit on them. Last New Year's I resolved to: 1.) Move on, even blindly move on if I have to. I think I did that this year. The good news is that I've focused myself on Chicago and what I can do here... seemingly completely immersing myself in The Second City and my "job." The bad news is that I've kind of left some people behind. That's what happens when you move blindly forward, you leave stuff behind you, even if it something or someone important to you. I'll have to correct that this year. We'll see.
And 2.) Stop calling myself fat. I really have this year, and I even did something about it this year, what with my gym membership and all. It's not even really an issue to me... because I've got friends here who are "heavier" than I am. I've always been the largest one of my friends... both in BR and in Albion. It's odd how one's perspective changes when going from being the only one, to being normal. Or something. What I mean is that I'm no longer the outlier on the weight graph of my friends. Gooooo math!

In the "has nothing to do with anything" category, today I received two games from GameFly: Star Wars--Knights of the Old Republic 2--The Sith Lords, and Def Jam Fight for New York. I keep hearing how good KOTOR 2 is from Ken... and I really enjoyed KOTOR 1. RPGs are something "new" I got into in 2004, so they don't remind me of anything except for where I am now. Apparently following the "going blindly forward" theme. But I look forward to having a hundred thousand free hours to waste sitting in front of my TV playing that game. Speaking of which, Def Jam Fight for NY is awesome. It's a completely simple game... but show me a person who wouldn't love to take Snoop Dogg and have him kick Fat Joe in the face! Is there anyone out there who wouldn't do that? Or match up Flava Flav and Busta Rhymes... as old school meets new skool? Or watch Lil Kim bitch slap Carmen Electra... to see just who can be the sluttiest of them all? Beyond all that--and this is going to sound stupid--the story in the story mode is interesting enough for me to keep playing and playing, just to see what happens. My character (whose monicker is "Crazy") has big sideburns, a wussy white-guy voice, and Celtic tattoos all over the place. He's totally cool... Just.Like.Me.
Hope 2004 treated you well, because here comes 2005. Ready or not...

Back to Chicago
Well, I'm back here in Chicago, where the weather doesn't match my mood. It's over 40 degrees here... and there's a great deal of sun outside. You can guess what my mood is if it's the opposite of that. I spent an amazing week catching up with people and spending time with my family... and here I am again, all by myself in Chicago. Chicago... the noisy city.
Why do I say that? When I was at home, I noticed something again when trying to get to sleep. Whenever I go home to BR and am lying in bed, completely dark with the lights and my computer off, I notice what can only be described as a deafening silence. My ears literally ring from the silence. I don't notice it when I'm in Chicago, but there must be constantly sound here. Even when I have my computer off and there's nothing on in my room... there's enough noise so that when I'm home and there's ACTUAL silence, I can't handle it. It's so hard to fall asleep at home. Stupid city.
Although, I will give Chicago one thing... Chicago makes me feel young. I noticed on my birthday that I was the second oldest person in my group of friends (only to Nate... he's the geezer). Katie, tactfully, even sounded astonished by how old being 24 made me. It was weird to get old in a place where I feel old, as opposed to getting old here, where I feel young. Why do I feel young here? Well, for instance, in the Assistant Director's Cut I was working with two married men--one who has a son--and I was the youngest cast member by six years. Yep. Most of the people I work with are a whole lot older than I am. Even in my Basically Awesome show, I'm the youngest by at least a year.
Hey! If every year of my life was an hour, I have now lived for an entire day. That's the only thing I can think of that accompanies being 24. Ooo! And 24 is now my favorite show. Even though I haven't seen it. Now it has to be.
I did get an unexpected birthday/Christmas present while I was home. Nate gave us all a copy of a double-CD: The Kenobis, Live in Big Rapids. It's a CD that he made from the concert they gave for Ken in December of 2002. That concert was attended by Courtney, Amber, and Mr. John Sellers. The concert also had a really interesting cameo from a certain Amie Mae who I dated for what seemed like a million years before we actually dated. Anyway, she and her friends showed up half-way through the show and I can hear her laugh distinctly about three times on the second CD. It's interesting... because I always felt like she and I shared something about our laughs. Mine is the laugh that can screw up a high school production of "Cheaper By the Dozen"... and her laugh is just as loud. When I heard it, I really missed her laugh. She had such a great laugh. *shakes head* ANYWAY, this CD also contains the last performance of Outer Core (TRIVIA!) and I was able to hear my own voice, the way I actually sing, for the first time in my car stereo. Yes, I know I've got that rap in Sexual Healing... but that's not me being the way I really sing. We played VanDeCar Road, arguably my favorite Outer Core song. So I was interested to hear it. And I found out two things: 1. I hate my speaking voice. Man, I sound like an idiot. Speak clearly! You mumble! COME ON! 2. I like my singing voice. The song sounds pretty good, even though we hadn't played it in two years. It sounds so good, in fact, that I'm trying to figure out how to put an audio file on this here blog. Yay for me! I could even put Sexual Healing on the blog! And then you could hear how they use the ONE (the 1!) take that I messed up for the CD! Beth's an idiot! Hooray!!! (BTW, I really miss The Kenobis. I liked watching them play. At least the CD contains every song that they've ever done ever) I listened to the Kenobis whole double CD on my way back to Chicago.

Last night was the tech rehearsal for my Basically Awesome show. This is something I'd been dreading ever since I left the last rehearsal. Our show is so rough that I can't imagine it actually being on a stage with sound and lights. And I honestly didn't want to have to perform it again... if everyone in the group is going to be amateur about the rehearsal process. And, as we walked through the rehearsal... it seemed like everyone in the group finally "got it." The tech actually took longer than it was supposed to, but our TD, Chris, didn't "have his stuff together" so he didn't charge us extra. I don't know how else to describe it... but it seemed like everyone in the show is ready for the show to be a show. *Shrug* I'm glad it happened, even if I had to wait until less than a week before the show.
After the rehearsal, Amy offered to share a cab with me... as we live literally a block away from each other. I told her that I didn't have money for a cab, and that it was no big deal for me to walk. But she insisted, and I took only my second cab ride ever. (The first? When I went to Chicago in high school, with Mrs. Compton in the front seat and about four other guys with me in the backseat) I mentioned that I've only taken a cab once before to Amy and she told me that this was her fourth cab ride that day. Wow! I know. She then went on to say that cabs are her vice... as she has no car, doesn't smoke or drink to excess. I didn't tell her what my vice is... but I thought about it. I'm not sure what my one vice is, if I were forced to just choose one... but I know that I have three vices: each one I would choose over anything else. The three? Football, video games, and women. I know... I didn't put my car there. But I would honestly rather watch football, play video games, or be with a woman than drive my car. And of the three... I can't really decide which one I like more than the other two. There are some football games I would rather not watch; there are times when I'd rather be with people than play video games; and there are times when I'd rather be alone watching football or playing VGs than being with some chick. Well... there you go. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch some football.

The Birthday Post: I'm 24!
My birthday started with a very late morning. I woke up at noon, as a matter of fact... figuring that my parents would already be up, and there would be presents on the table, and my mom would do her "happy burt-day" thing (it's an inside joke in my family, but she rarely pronounces the "h" in birthday). But when I woke up, to my surprise, I was the first one awake. My mother had started to show symptoms of the cold that I had... so she was sleeping in. And my dad is my dad... so he was sleeping in, too. I was awake for about half an hour on my birthday before anyone else woke up.
When they finally did get up, we sat around the kitchen table and had left-over Christmas dinner. Odd for a birthday morning, but it's what I wanted at the time. And I flipped through the channels and settled on an episode of MacGuyver. "MacGuyver's cool! Don't die MacGuyver, you faggot!" Heehee. I LOVE MacGuyver... and it's a TV show that I really think should be out on DVD. I think I've bitched, I mean blogged, about this before. But as all sorts of crappy shows are coming out on DVD... where's my MacGuyver? Come on! It was a "supposed haunted house" episode with... get this... TERI HATCHER! I forgot she was on that show. She played MacGuyver's friend, Penny Parker, and she was even a recurring character.
Watching MacGuyver again was so exciting that I actually had to take a quick nap afterwards. No, seriously, we all took a quick nap after MacGuyver. My mom was really feeling badly, and I was still tired... hence the nap.
After the quick nap (no, seriously!) I went to Meijer and Staples with mah Dad. We basically just bummed around, but he got me a couple of things I really needed. And then he got me Anchorman just because I really wanted it. "Happy Birthday" he said, when he got it for me. Aww. I know.
My mom was feeling so badly that, when we got home from errands, it was apparent that we were going to have to do something else for food. My mom had planned on making my favorite meal (I think it's my favorite meal... I don't know): fettuccine alfredo with chicken and broccoli. But I noticed how poopy my mom was so I suggested that we order a pizza and watch Anchorman together. Everyone thought that was a good idea, but they had to... as it was my birthday and I was King. My mom seemed to like the movie... and my dad was asleep by the end of it.
When the movie was over, I called Nate back... as he and Jason were getting together and they called me during the movie. But, before I left, I had a very quick present opening. I know my parents are spending a lot of money on me here in Chicago... and it was apparent when I opened the presents. I got jeans, a sweatshirt, a t-shirt, a SpongeBob sponge, SpongeBob Cheez-Its, and an IOU for the first season of MacGuyver. The good news is that MacGuyver IS coming out on DVD. AWESOME! But I felt really bad... guilty... for making my parents spend so much money on me during the whole year. I don't know... I guess I'm being a bastard? But the fact that I didn't really get anything for my birthday makes me feel really guilty for all the money they spend on me the rest of the year. And it just reiterated my need for steady employment once I get back to Chicago. I'm a waste of money.

After the presents, I headed out to Nate's. He, Allison, and Jason were already there and they almost immediately started playing Settler's of Catan when I got there. It was not the first time I had ever played that game. I actually played that game with Bob AuFrance and Miss Laura Kraly. This brought back memories of Laura, and the nights we spent hanging out at Bob's. Good times. Good, good times. Especially if I wasn't beating Laura at whatever we were playing.
As we were finishing Settler's, Ken got out to Nate's. He had been watching a movie with his family and got to Nate's pretty late. The five of us then played the 301 dart game. I think Nate won... and won pretty easily. Then the four "men" played cricket, on two teams of two. It was Ken and I vs Nate and Jason... thus renewing the long-time rivalry of Aryans vs Jews (this made a lot more sense when I was bleaching my hair). This may sound lame, but I don't care: when playing with only two teams, cricket is INTENSE. I don't care how lame you think it sounds, it's true. Every throw counts... especially since we're all good enough to kind of plan how we're going to play... but we're not good enough to hit our target every time. The first game came down to the bulls-eye. Ken and I had closed it out, but were behind in points. Jason and Nate had to hit three bulls-eyes before we hit three. It became excruciatingly intense... every throw potentially bringing the game to an end. It was so much fun.
While we were playing cricket, Nate's dog Abby came in. Abby and I go way back... she was bought for Nate our senior year of high school after his first golden retriever, Angel, died. Angel used to run around in the backyard with us... she seemed to always get the ball for us when we played baseball with a tennis ball in his back yard when we were in elementary school. And, by the time we were in high school, she would hobble up to my car when I came over and I would pet her... always the first to greet me. She seemed to like me and I certainly liked her. But she passed, and then Abby came. Abby has been energetic since I've known her... irritatingly so at times. Sometime in college, Nate showed us that Abby will hump his leg for no apparent reason. It's honestly hilarious... and she'll continue humping the air if you pull your leg away, but hold her front paws up in the air. When Nate pretends to hump her (also hilarious), she growls and tries to move away. I don't know when it happened, but one day Abby started humping my leg as well. At first it felt weird and I didn't like it... but now I actually feel pretty privileged because she'll only hump my leg or Nate's leg... and no one else's. And it makes me laugh and laugh whenever she does it. Anyway... so Abby came in when we were playing darts, and I was about to throw, so I had an idea. I got her to start humping my leg and then I threw all three of my darts as quickly as I could, while trying not to fall over laughing. I got a spit-take out of Jason, who was drinking water at the time and almost drowned... and we all laughed and laughed. It was like old times... but different. Not different bad, just not something that we ever did before. It was good. Old but new. I miss those guys.

The useless days in between Christmas and My Birthday
December 26th: Ken Day!
Ken came over around noonish, so that we could spend the whole day (pretty much) together. We started watching the Lions/Bears game. We only watched the first half, but the Bears looked terrible. The Bears ARE terrible. Watching the first half, I figured there was no way the Lions could lose. But, apparently, the Lions will always find a way to almost lose. It sounds like the refs gave them the win. Thank you, refs... the Bears don't deserve to win. They're terrible.
The reason that Ken and I didn't get to see the second half of the game was that he and I were playing Halo 2! Finally! I've been waiting for months to play through that stupid game... and we finally were able to play it. And let me tell you this... the cliff-hanger in this plot is SO egregious that it seems like they had to stop the game before it was finished. There is NO closure to the game's plot. It's irritating! I waited all this time to play that game, and now I'm just itching to play the next one (which will take Bungie another two or three years to complete, I'm sure). The good news is that there is a great sense of size to this game. There is a real sense, while you're playing it, that you're just a part of a massive and epic war effort. It's an incredible sense... but you also don't have many small hallways of bad guys like the last one; and the small hallways are always fun. But Ken and I played from about 3 PM to 1 AM (with a break for dinner).

December 27th: Welcome back to high school! But only in the "these are the people you still like" kind of way!
Around 5, Ken and Jason came over and played Halo 2 with me. We were able to play the version of Halo 2 that we REALLY love to play. We call it "Kill Ken." All players have active camo (are invisible), and rockets are the only weapon used. For some reason, we just love the shit out of this version of the multiplayer game. So we played it for a while... then played a little Halo 1, for nostalgia's sake. That was also fun.
From my house, we all headed to the China Fair restaurant. China Fair is, perhaps, the world's only Chinese Irish Sports Bar. It used to be a place called Casey McNabb's... which is why the building was built, so the whole building has a very Celtic feel to its architecture. And now it's a Chinese place (and not a very good one, at that). But it's always fun to go there and have crappy, way too expensive Chinese food. Really clears out the system, if you know what I mean. But, more importantly, it was the first time everyone (except for Jason and I) saw Ken. He wanted it to be a surprise, because he's gratuitously dramatic like that. But, screw Ken, it was awesome to see Nate and Allison again after a long time. And Rhea and Jean were there (looking nice). Speaking of looking nice, I saw Katie again. Aww... Katie. What could have been. Anyway, we had our dinner and talked and Rhea and Jean talked across the whole table so that everyone else had to sit there and listen. What bitches. I'm kidding, but I'm not. Bitches. Heehee. Anyway... I similarly hit on Katie across the whole table, so it wasn't just them. I am also a bitch. It was a nice dinner together.
After dinner, we went out to the newly renovated Burtch's house. Nate's parents have been renovating the crap out of their house. They've got a new kitchen, complete with a center island and a double oven. It honestly looks a lot like what I imagine my kitchen will be when/if I ever build my own house. And they have this vacuum system throughout the house where you just have to sweep toward the vent and then it vacuums it into the garage. How cool is that? The house is seriously huge now.
After the tour, Ken put his picture CD in a laptop and had a little slide-show of the pictures he took overseas. It was interesting to see what Ken had to put up with for a couple of months. It's also interesting to see what kinds of things they have are very modern and what kinds of things are very primitive. Interesting stuff.
After the three house slideshow (kidding), we then decided to get up and do something somewhat active. Nate set up a dart board in one of the still unfinished/unfurnished hallways. I had only played darts... um... once? before, but it was SO MUCH FUN! Ken and I played on the same team and we were awesome. So awesome, in fact, that we didn't win. We came close, though.
After darts, we sat down to watch a cheesy horror film... just like old times! This one was VERY different, though. It was a movie called Killer Condom, and it was entirely in German! There were subtitles, and a homosexual male lead... and it was VERY German. It was a riot, though. The whole movie... the plot... the dialog... everything was hilarious. It was so much fun!
I was very happy to see Rhea and Jean again... and everyone else, of course, but I was perhaps being overly affectionate with Rhea and Jean in particular. So Jean very matter-of-factly said "You must be lonely"! What tact! And, since she mentioned it... I guess I am. While I'm in Chicago, I have too much to do to feel lonely. But in BR--just hanging out with people I miss--it must've hit me again. Most of the times I've been with all those people together, I was dating someone. So maybe that has something to do with it. But, honestly, I can't wait to go back to Chicago just so I don't have to worry about it anymore. *sigh*
Once the movie was finished, we started talking. I miss the late night talking sessions that we had on occasion. It's weird that I've known Nate for most of my life, but I still find him totally fascinating. The whole conversation was interesting. But I think that near the end of the talk I was getting tired and just wanted people to see my point... so I may have raised my voice a time or two. Sorry everybody!

Reggie White 1961-2004
This morning Reggie White, former Eagle, Panther, and Packer defensive end, passed away due to what sounds like a heart attack. For those of you who don't know, Reggie White was on the two most recent Packer Super Bowl teams (SB 31 & 32), so it's safe to say that he and I go way back. I think Reggie's importance to those Packer Super Bowl teams cannot be under-stated... his impact on those teams was enormous. He came to the Green Bay Packers as a free agent in 1993, already a Pro Bowl caliber player with the Eagles. And, actual game play aside, just him going to Green Bay was a huge step for the franchise. He was the first 'major' black player to come to Green Bay as a free agent... in team history. I'm not making this up... think about it. Why would a black athlete want to come to the lily-white Wisconsin bay, where the entire city is so small that you and your family can't help but stand out. But White signing changed that image for the rest of the league... and Reggie even started recruiting black players (like Sean Jones) to come to Green Bay.
But that's not the only way he impacted the Packers. He was, easily, the greatest pass-rushing defensive end I have ever seen, holding the record for sacks--198--when he retired (Bruce Smith has since broken this record). I will always remember his strength in the pass rush... and his signature "club" move, where he would use one arm to club a lineman (any sized lineman, it didn't matter), knocking him off-balance on Reggie's way to the quarterback. I don't know how many times Reggie did that. The linemen knew it was coming... and couldn't stop him from using that move. Reggie was an incredible player.
But we all know he was more than a player. All of the commentators who have been talking about him today have been saying that he was an even better person than he was a player. While I hate to diminish his greatness, he did say some very derogatory and ignorant things about homosexuals after he retired. Being a minister, he had a very "Christian" few of homosexuality... and said some things to the Wisconsin senate that he later said he regretted. I find it difficult to understand the Christian views of caring for and loving all man, but seemingly hating homosexuals.
Regardless of what he said, it seemed as though he was trying to find the "Truth". He had stopped going to Christian church services and was studying Hebrew to be able to read and understand the Bible in the language in which it was written. He felt remorse for his comments... and wanted to figure out what he believed about the world and it's people. I commend him for that.
I will always remember Reggie White for bringing another Super Bowl to my beloved Packers. Rest in peace, Reggie.

Christmas Eve and Christmas
On Christmas Eve, I woke up feeling sick. But more than sick, I woke up feeling guilty. My parents, who do so much for me, weren't even going to put the tree up this year... and my mom worried about getting all the presents wrapped in time ("We'll just put my gifts in a box and I won't even open them" my mom said)... and my mom kept worrying out loud about whether or not the Christmas dinner was going to get done. What elso could I do? I tried to forget about how I felt and I tried to help my parents wherever possible.
I started the day helping with the tree. My dad and I put it up together... and I think all he needed to actually get it done was a little help. He and I then did the lights and the tinsel. I, however, did not do the ornaments. I don't like ornaments. Why don't I like Christmas ornaments? you ask. Well, the ornaments don't mean anything to me. I don't have any memories that connect me to the ornaments. I assume that when I have children and I have ornaments that were given to me by my parents, or my sister... then I'll finally have something that will connect me to the ornaments. In all honesty, I will probably always connect the lights with my childhood... as I used to lie down under the tree and stare up at all the lights in the tree... or at the light dancing on the ceiling. I love Christmas tree lights.
After finishing the tree, I went down into my room and started wrapping the presents. As I was wrapping presents, Karen and Bob showed up. This was a big deal, as it was the first time my parents were meeting Bob. He looked a little nervous, but less nervous talking to me than to my parents. Fortunately for him, there was a huge Packer game yesterday, which meant the whole family would be occupied for four hours in the afternoon. Maybe unfortunately for him, if the Packers were to lose, the whole family would be in a crappy mood for the rest of the day and the next. It's what we do.
Have no fear, the Packers win the division! Quickly on the Packers/ViQueens Game... Donald Driver had one hell of a game. My dad asked around after the game, and none of us actually thought the Packers were going to win this game. It's nothing against my beloved team, but Brett always has really REALLY bad games in Minnesota. But we pulled it out... and, as we were lining up for the Longwell field goal I kept saying "He's automatic from there." That's my new favorite phrase for kickers. I think I'm awesome. Enough football... let's talk about presents!

The loot, the loot, the loot is on fire? Oh crap! Put it out! This joke never gets old! But, anyway, I got some pretty neat stuff for Christmas. I got a couple pairs of jeans and some sweatshirts and t-shirts. But the "big" thing I got was a Robosapian Robot from my dad. It's really neat. I don't know what I'm going to use it for... my dad just thinks he'll keep me company. Aww... my dad. Add this toy to the long line of toys/stuffed animals bought for me and my sister because we could never have a dog. I could have a dog now... but this apartment is too small, and I would feel bad leaving a dog here all day or all night while I'm out. Additionally, I don't know how to take care of a dog... and I would probably end up killing us both. I'm just that good. Or bad, I guess, as this case may be.
Bob had gotten the Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit DVD game from my "parents." That's in quotes because I think my sister bought it for him and pretended it was from my parents. Regardless, after my parents went to bed, Bob, Karen, and I went downstairs and played it. I like it more than regular Trivial Pursuit because you can "steal" the pie pieces from other people, if they don't know the answer to the question and you do. So the first game went very quickly... it only took me about 40 minutes to win. So we decided to play again. That was a BAD idea. We all got very tired half-way through and ended up all having all the pie pieces and going to the center circle... and it took my sister a couple times to answer it correctly. But she did and, after about two hours when it was about three in the morning, she won.

Christmas morning, we had an early dinner so that Bob and Karen could get back to KZoo for a Christmas party they were hosting. The dinner went well... with my parents doing little to make Bob UNcomfortable, and even seeming to be going out of their way to make him feel welcome. But that was it... my time with my sister was over before I knew it... and they were gone. Leaving me and my parents to do whatever we wanted on Christmas evening.
My mom and dad and I then watched Hero. None of us had seen it, but my sister liked it so much that she bought it for my dad for Christmas, thinking he might enjoy it. I REALLY enjoyed it. I loved that movie... the visuals, the script, the action... I really enjoyed it. My mom thought it was weird... and my dad was very quiet about what he thought. But I thought it was good... and I didn't even mind all the reading of the subtitles. It probably would have ruined the movie to have dubbed it.
Then, after watching Hero, my dad and I watched Spider-Man 2. Yes, I finally sat down and watched that movie. I actually refused to see it because, well, Kirsten Dunst looks a lot like someone I know (particularly with the red hair), and I honestly wasn't ready to see her on film over the summer when SM2 came out. I thought it would be too painful to watch. And the fact that Mary Jane Watson is an actress is a great big kick to the nuts, as far as I'm concerned. With pictures of her plastered all over the city, as Parker walks around in the city. Along those same lines, I will probably never see the movie Wimbleton. Her playing tennis hits so close to home it's almost cosmically unfair. Regardless, I finally sat through Spider-Man 2... and it was kind of disappointing. I mean, it was a good super hero movie... but it followed the same major plot points as the first one. Yes, Mary Jane is with someone else. Yes, Peter Parker is the reluctant hero. Oh, Parker's friends have turned on him? How original. I hope the recently announced Spider Man 3 will give me something new to see. Or, at the very least, finally let me see Venom--one of my favorite comic book villains of all time--on screen. I think it's about time we got the story of the symbiote costume, it's bond with Spider-Man... it consuming all of Parker's time... it's bonding with Brock... and the birth of Carnage! Maybe that could be Spider-Man 4... but that story is wicked awesome and would make a great movie. That's all I'm saying. Seriously... the movie freakin' writes itself.

A Very Crazy Christmas to you and yours
I should also take the time to mention that I feel very very ill. I can taste colors! Oh God, it's true... my head is swimming. I just wrapped the family's presents... and I think I did a pretty crappy job because I was all "I feel like mashed potatoes". All molasses-ness. Weeeeeeeee!!! Cold medicine! I think I'm funny!
Additionally, congratulations to my Packers who are the NFC North Division champions after beating the poop eating ViQueens. The Packers' defense looked crappy, at best... and I expect a one and done or a second round exit for my beloved team this year. However, I also expect the Eagles to collapse without TO... not necessarily because he makes that much of a difference to their gameplan; but because they will no longer believe that they can win the Super Bowl without him. The NFC should be interesting... as they all play for second place.

A Very Crazy Holidays to you all. I hope to be blogging again regularly when I get back to Chicago. Take care... and tell someone you love that you love them today.

Last Day in Chicago... and Homecomings!
On Tuesday the 21st, Jim took me out to an early Birthday dinner. We went to the Goose Island Brewery and had a nice meal and conversation. We talked about football and life and the future and about how incompetent our waiter was. There is no difference, apparently, between ordering a Pepsi or a Diet Pepsi.
After dinner, we had our Basically Awesome rehearsal on the Skybox stage. It was a big deal for me to be able to get us time on that stage, so I was excited about us finally getting serious about this show. And, before we started, I was talking to Adam about the show and he said that next time we do a show together we all need to make one person the director and have that one person make all the decisions. Something in my head clicked and I said to myself "I can be that person now." And I know that it seems like everyone in the group wants guidance; but apparently not from me. Allow me to explain. During rehearsal, we wanted to go through the show a second time and we were running out of time, so I said "let's do a speed-through!" So, as we're going through the show, I noticed the pace slowing down... so I said "Pace! Guys... let's speed up" and they did. Then we went through the rest of the show... and when we got to the last scene I noticed we were slowing down AGAIN. I tried to find a good place to tell them to pick up the pace... so I waited for Keith to finish his line. Then I said "Pace! Come on... let's get movin'! Speed thru!" And Keith looked at me like I messed him up... and then there was silence. And I said... "You know, we've gotta keep movin"... more silence. "Oh shit! 'Boss... shouldn't we go over the plan again?'" Yeah. I had forgotten my line. And they laughed at me, the way you laugh when your boss looks like an idiot. After we were all finished with everything, Adam gave me more crap about forgetting my line. My sister thinks that they saw me as the "bad guy" because I was trying to be serious and take away their fun. But I think that's stupid... we can have fun and get some serious work done. And it takes someone truly ignorant to not know that both can be done at the same time. So poop on everyone.

On the 22nd, I started my drive home. I had a couple things to do in Grand Rapids, so I stopped there about 1. I had prearranged to have lunch with the lovely Miss Chelsey Wagemaker at Max and Ermas near Rivertown Crossings. Like I said, we met around 1 PM... and just ate and talked. But we ate and talked and talked until around 5 PM. The dining area where we sat was filled, emptied, filled again, and emptied again in the time we sat at our table together. I had an awesome time, and the conversation seemed to flow pretty easily. It would be impossible for me to be more in love with her. In fact, I was really surprised when I looked at the time and it was already time for me to go. But it was, in fact, time for me to go... as I had another appointment.
That appointment was with Mr. Adam Emperor Southard for headshots! Hooray!!! And, fortunately for me, Mrs. Susan Studley-Dullard... I mean, Southard-Dudley was there as well! Hooray! She came outside with Adam and me as we were taking the pictures... and she totally helped me relax while Adam was taking them. It kind of reminded me of when my sister came with me when I got my senior pictures in high school: I am NOT comfortable with getting my picture taken, but Karen then and Susan now made me feel like it was just me with someone I love and care about, oh and yes there's someone else with a camera.
I think Susan is remarkable. I know that it's been a LONG time since we saw each other in person... but she is someone I feel instantly comfortable with, regardless of how long it's been. I mean, she's someone who I just reconnect with instantly and I don't feel guilty because it's been a long time since last we talked or saw each other... it just feels comfortable right away. That's a remarkable feeling.
But I felt very comfortable with the Southards in general. Adam and I have kept up, bouncing funny ideas off of each other; and his parents made me comfortable as well, as his mom said, upon my return from outside and the pictures, "You know you're not leaving here until you have dinner." I love when people do that. So I stayed for dinner.
And I'm so glad I did. Dinner with the Southards (times 2) was certainly an experience. The elder Southards made me feel very comfortable... moreso than most parents that I know a lot better than I know them. We talked and talked and laughed and had cheese and crackers and WOW did it feel nice. I even mentioned to Susan at one point: there was a family, and Christmas decorations, and food, and I felt like I was home, even though it was a place I'd never been before with two people I'd only met once before. I love Adam's mom, by the way. Diana, when Colleen came up in conversation (as she always does whenever I'm talking), said "Oh... this is THAT John." Because I'm apparently the John that loves Colleen. But Diana thinks I would be very good for Colleen, because she liked me and she likes Colleen and mothers are like that. So I love anyone who thinks that Colleen and I should be together, because they obviously know a LOT about people. Heehee... oh it's true!
By the time I actually got home to MY parents, I felt very tired and talked out. But we still had a pretty good conversation and I called it a night early, because...

On the 23rd I woke up insanely early. We're talking 6 AM Eastern Time, which is 5 AM my normal body time (i.e. Central Time). I woke up that early because I was going to drive myself to the Cherry Capital Airport in Lansing, Michigan. Why was I going to the airport? Well, because I had a certain Senior Airman waiting for me there.
Oh yes, that's right. All the bitching about not being able to see Ken until February paid off, as Ken decided to come home for a week! And I was on my way to pick up Kenny from Lansing. The drive to Lansing seemed to take forever... but probably because it was still dark outside and because I was driving to something I really wanted... and that always makes the drive seem longer. But I did, in fact, finally get there through the blowing snow... and had to circle the airport because of bad directions given to me by my dad (heehee). But there that short bastard was... with his huge duffel bag, looking insanely cold. It was great to see him again.
We couldn't just head home, though. We had big plans in the Saginaw area! And the drive to Saginaw didn't seem like it took much time at all, until we got in between Flint and Saginaw (closer to Saginaw than Flint). We ran into what was almost stand-still traffic because of what we eventually saw was an accident. The car and tow-truck were taking up two of the three lanes. This wouldn't have been so bad if it was a horrific accident (I know this sounds bastardly to say... but you'll see what I mean in a second), but the crash honestly didn't look that bad. We were going about 5 miles an hour tops for half an hour at least because this stupid car chose an inconvenient place to crash. Gah! But it didn't matter because I was with Ken and he was showing me his newly found rubix cube mastery. He can honestly finish a rubix cube in two minutes. He says it's five... but it's only two.
The first thing we did when we got to Saginaw was drive to the house that Miss Ellen Goff is renting out. Do you remember her? You don't? Um... well, she was the girl I had a crush on for my entire high school career. But she wasn't the unattainable crush: that lovely title goes to the fabulous Miss Elizabeth Erlewine. No, Ellen was the girl I could actually talk to who I had a crush on for four long years. She's also the inspiration for the line "For the last four years, I have been your whore" from that fantastic Outer Core song "Go Off". Remember that one? Of course you don't. It's only the first song I ever wrote all the lyrics to... why would you remember something trivial like that?! *sobs* Anyway, we made it to Ellen's... and surprised her with Ken, as I didn't let her know that he was going to be there. I had hoped that she had gained some weight... because that would be cosmically fair to me. But, alas, she still looked really good. And, oddly enough, instead of seeming happy to see Ken, she seemed a little uncomfortable with both of us there. I'm not sure why... but she definitely seemed uncomfortable.
And nothing says uncomfort like Applebees! That's their new slogan. No, it's not. But that's where we went for lunch. I found it very difficult to find a place to start catching up, as it had been five or six years. I don't know what one talks about when one tries to reconnect with someone they knew very well for years, but haven't seen for even more years. I mean, I'm almost a completely different person from who I was in high school: I look different, I think differently, and now I'm totally awesome. But, whatever. Ellen spoke of her new boyfriend, Alex... probably more than she needed to, but probably just to try to rub in the point that she was taken and not looking to do anything with either of us. Or something. That would make sense.
After we had eaten, we were sitting at the table and the mysterious boyfriend, Alex, finally showed up. He's Greek, but was raised in England... so he looks Greek and sounds British and it's really cool. I tried really hard to make him feel comfortable in the conversation; which is something that I realized I'm getting better and better at. I also noticed that she really cared about him... and she even blushed at one point, which I don't think I've ever seen. *shrug* Good for her. It seems like she's happy, and I'm happy for her.
After about an hour with Ellen and Alex, it was time to part ways. Don't cry for us, blog reader... for Ken and I had more plans. We had to hit on someone else who lives in Saginaw: Miss Courtney McKay Hancock. It was then off to Court's! Oh... I should mention that I found Court's house on memory alone. I hadn't been there in a couple of years... but I was able to find her house all by myself. I think that makes me awesome. But it doesn't. Regardless, we found Court's house. We then sat and talked with Court for a couple hours. It felt really good to see her again. I guess I didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw her again. Oddly enough, Courtney is not someone who I felt as instantly comfortable with as I did with Susan. I don't know that this was necessarily a bad thing. I felt guilty for not knowing more about what she's been up to, so I was very interested in hearing everything she's been doing, and asking her lots of questions. So even though there wasn't the instant comfort, it's not a bad thing. And after a few hours, I felt like I hadn't heard enough yet... and that's a good thing, I think.
But after those couple of hours, Courtney's sister Shannon showed up at the house. I've only met Shannon twice before, I believe... but since I knew Court so well for a period of time, I figured that I kind of knew Shannon. So I was surprised to realized that we had only seen each other twice before. It doesn't matter... what matters is that she isn't seeing anyone. Oh... I know what you're thinking, but I'm that bastardly and not that smart. Yes, I did hit on Courtney's sister. And I loved every second of it.
Because Ken and I were having such a good time hitting on the Hancock women, we decided to stay for supper. Court's mom seemed as "gah!" about Christmas as my mom was, so we did a simple supper: soup and Subway. Shannon drove us to Subway, and I let Ken hit on her for a change while Court and I talked semi-seriously about our situations and relationships and how much she should be dating Ken. No, Ken, that didn't happen, but only because I couldn't find a good place to slip that in to the conversation. I tried, dude... trust me.
After dinner, Court kept putting Ken on display. I probably would have felt bad for him, if I didn't know how much he loved every second of it. She made him do the rubix cube a couple of times, she had him show her mom and dad and Shannon the money he picked up overseas, and she even made him show how to direct airplanes as they taxi on runways (it's an Air Force thing). Hell, I even tried to get him to sing some lyrics from our old Outer Core days. Shut up, Ken... you loved it.
It was then finally time for us to go back to Big Rapids. The drive back to BR seemed to go by quickly. Ken told me the story of the helicopter he worked on that went down in Afghanistan. He detailed the story with such military precision that I felt I could really visualize the entire ordeal in my mind. I had previously stupidly thought it would be somehow easier to lose a helicopter to enemy fire than anything else... but when the anything else is the environment--an accident basically--it's not something that you're prepared for like you would be for enemy fire. They know they're going to get shot at... that's a given. To lose a helicopter to the environment is just... emotionally shattering, and not something that you're really prepared for. *shakes head* I can't think of anything more eloquent than "it sucks."

"I don't know about you..."
That started an interesting sentence that Jim, one of the writers of my writing five show, said tonight after rehearsal. He said, "I don't know about you, but I think our show sucks." And, unfortunately I had to agree. I almost don't get it. I mean, the writing, I thought, was good. The actors ARE good: talented and funny. But something happened... and it ended up being a shitty show. I sit at rehearsals and have to try very hard to avoid shaking my head at what's going on on the stage in front of me. I AM having a hard time just sitting there while others act out my words... and I DON'T think they're doing it "right"... and I KNOW that I have to let go some of that if I want to be a writer; but maybe I don't. Maybe I don't want to be a writer... ? Or maybe I should view this as proof that my writing needs to be more clear for the actors. I need to stick every subtle nuance in the writing so that it's not mis-interpreted. The problem with that being that it leaves little for the actor to add to the scene him/herself... and I love being able to let the actors add something extra, something clever or witty or funny that I never would have thought of. I guess that's too bad for me if I want it the way I want it, huh?
I suppose I feel the same way about Basically Awesome. What started as talented writing for talented performers has turned into me trying to get everyone together to rehearse... or, at the very least, to take the five minutes it would take to memorize their lines. *shakes head* I'm so frustrated with that show it's unreal.

In other "poop on me" news, my fantasy football season is over. I lost in the first round of the playoffs to some dude who finished the regular season in 7th place. In protest to my "spent most of the season on top and now could only hope to finish 5th", I've benched my team for the last two weeks of the season. I'll take 8th place... I don't care. It's unfair to go through the whole season in first or second place, lose in the first round of the play-offs (one week), and be able to finish no better than fifth. It's not Nate's fault, certainly... it's my fault for never seeing this as a possibility. Plus, I really do like football more when I don't have to worry about rooting for one player on one team and another player on the other team. I want to be able to root for my favorite teams and to hell with everyone else.

Speaking of football, let's talk TOs injury. I feel that the Eagles will now collapse under the weight of their own expectations. Look for another loss in the NFC Championship game for the Eagles... as they won't be able to believe in themselves. The game becomes very mental in the playoffs, as all the teams are the best of the best. What separates teams is mental toughness... and the Eagles will collapse due to the emotional loss of TO. Maybe that makes him the MVP of the league? *shakes head* Nope. That award should be going to Peyton Manning this year.
And as long as we're talking football... let's talk about the Robert Ferguson hit/injury. The hit was vicious. Whether or not he was going for the ball should be irrelevant... it wasn't a clean hit regardless. You're taught to see what you hit... lead with your shoulders and keep your head up. Darius did none of those things, instead choosing to physically strike Ferg like a wrestler, with a very weak and cheap elbow. I hope Donovan Darius has a conscious and it stops him from sleeping. Get well soon, Robert Ferguson... I hope you regain feeling soon.

The weird dreams just keep on coming!
So I was awoken this morning by a phone call which ended a particularly interesting and fantastically stupid dream. In this dream, I was conspiring with a group of, well I guess you could call us the 'bad guys', to steal some things from a school. This was not any school I've ever attended, but in the dream I was working there as some kind of secretary/temp in the school's main office. And it was because I worked there that I was able to get my group of co-conspirators access to the office and everything within. I remember thinking that there wasn't anyone else around, while we stole files, a projection unit, and something out of a safe... I think. I'm not sure about the safe. That wasn't my job... I was dealing with all the files. I remember feeling like we had accomplished our mission, and they left me there to tighten up the loose ends... say I had nothing to do with the robbery, and quit citing the unsafe work environment. So as they left, the regular office staff came in, and I went about moving around some of my own files and making everything seem like I hadn't just robbed the place. For some reason, one of my co-conspirators took an old secretary woman silently hostage. I didn't know why, but I remember thinking that I should have been more in charge, so a breakdown like this wouldn't have happened. He told her to go back into the office and not act like anything was different, you know, so that he could get away. But, as she entered the office, she ran into her sister... who was a teacher at the school. She was standing right next to the door (and my desk was facing the wall, right next to the door,), so I could everything they were saying. She told her sister that there was a man with a gun just outside the door. And then she counted: One... Two... THREE! But, thankfully for me, this just meant "get down"! I thought about interfering, and making sure she couldn't call the police, but I figured my cover would be blown. So, as I'm following everyone else onto the floor, I notice across the office Mr. John Sellers. And I remember thinking "Huh, John Sellers" as I was bending down to lie on the floor. And... as I got to the floor...! the phone rang. I have no idea what happened after that. It seems like they would have gotten away with all the staff lying on the floor, and no one calling the police. But who knows? If my co-conspirators were stupid enough to try to take someone hostage, who knows if they were smart enough to get away.
And that's my story.

F--king Zombies
I woke myself up from a dream at eight o'clock this morning. I was dreaming about zombies, again. I honestly don't know what's up with that... this is the second or third zombie dream that I can remember in recent months. Furthermore, zombies seem to be the only "classic horror monster" I really dream about. No vampires, werewolves, or Frankenstein's monster monsters for me, thank you... I'll stick with the walking dead.
So I started thinking about why this could be. Why would I dream about zombies? and why would it, like this morning, scare me enough to want to wake myself up?
Did you know that zombie movies gained popularity during the red scare because American movie-goers viewed the Russians as zombies, mindlessly following communism and it's ideals? Oh, you did? Well, I thought it was interesting. (Quick sidenote: That's also when the "body snatcher" movies gained popularity, for the same reason)
My point, dear reader, is that I, too, could be afraid of the same thing. Not communism, but rather of becoming a mindless follower. Hell, a mindless follower of capitalism, or some "American" ideals. Perhaps this is my subconscious warning me away from the type of job I spent the last year doing: Warning me against the type of people I dealt with in that job. Instead of brains, they lust only for more money. But they will try to find the biggest brains and surround themselves with them, in the effort to make more money. Perhaps these dreams are my creative side screaming out for me to stay creative... and not just mindlessly follow everyone else.
Or maybe I'm really afraid of getting my brain eaten. Either way.

Just so you know... I went back to sleep and dreamed about sharing a huge plate of chicken wings with Ken. I know it doesn't make sense... but it's going to be a lot easier to share chicken wings with him now than it was a couple weeks ago. Hooray for Homecomings!

Rehearsals, rehearsals, rehearsals
I spent all day Sunday at rehearsals. At 11 AM, I was at the Second City rehearsing with Basically Awesome, sans Adam. That show is seriously going to kill me. It seems like Keith and I are the only ones who are really serious about the show. I shouldn't say that... but Keith and I are dedicated. And we think about this show all the time. I know I've got other shows going on, but this one is probably the most important... it's the one I'm most excited about. I'm just very disappointed in the rest of the cast for how busy they are; and how low on their list of priorities this show seems to be.

Quick football news before I move on: Tyrone Willingham to Washington--Good luck to Ty... I always liked him, even though he didn't win every single game ever (which I guess is the only thing that will make ND staff happy), he was doing everything the right way. And I really thought he was a good coach... but maybe not the best recruiter. When he was able to play with Bob Davie's roster, he went 10-1. Once he lost Davie's players, the team started sucking. And, keep in mind, Notre Dame plays the toughest schedule in the nation. Hands down, the nation's toughest schedule... every year. And, even if you don't concede that the teams they play against are any good, all those teams (I'm talking about Navy and Boston College) would KILL to beat Notre Dame. ND is the game they all circle on the schedule every year. Big and very old rivalries there.
In other football news, the college bowl season begins tonight with the New Orleans Bowl. I know how great this game sounds, what with the Mean Green against the Golden Eagles... but don't completely clear your schedules for this game, sports fans. I know how tough the North Texas Mean Green are, as I played a season in the Sun Belt Conference (as the University Louisiana-Lafayette Ragin' Cajuns!), and UNT OWNS that conference. Never fear, kids... any school that gives me Brett Favre is a school that I love. Go Southern Miss! They had a great middle linebacker last year who's now in the pros (Rod Davis... now with the Vikings)... but I hear they have a great outside linebacker who's still at Southern Miss. Let's hope they can stop that Mean Green machine! (I expect to hear that lame phrase a lot)

The Sex Monster: So I started watching this movie on HBO because of the title. The title is awesome... and while it quasi-accurately describes the plot, it IS a little misleading for a movie on HBO. Anyway, I watched it and I was pleasantly surprised by the script. It's quirky and interesting... and it smacks of independent film. In addition, the main character's acting isn't the greatest acting I've ever seen. So I put two and two together and the answer was Mike Binder. He wrote, directed, and starred in this film. Like I said, it does drip a bit of independent film... so don't run out and rent it in the hopes that you'll watch a super-awesome movie. It is an interesting movie, but it seems a little like a movie that someone like myself got a little money to make... and there it is. *shrug* It's weird... but kind of a neat movie.

This morning, I got a phone call from a Miss Sarah Jean out of the blue. It was great to hear from her... and she was taking the 'back roads' from Jackson to KZoo. This reminded me of a story that I don't think I've told here before. Allow me to indulge myself (which is way different from what I normally do here):
Once upon a time, there was a group of young people (and two companions) who wanted to go to Fazzoli's in Jackson, Michigan. But they all lived SO FAR away in Albion, Michigan. They needed a navigator so wise and so true, that their path would not be lead astray. But, unfortunately for the young people (and the two companions), Katie was the aforementioned navigator. Oh Katie! She decided that the young people and companions should take the "back roads" to get to Jackson, Michigan. One of the young people, Randi, was placed in the back seat of a vehicle with one of the companions. On the way to Jackson, Michigan, the navigator in this story-Katie-pointed to a lovely church, complete with lovely green lawn, and full, lush trees and said simply "I would like to get married there." The companion said, "In that tree?" and Randi laughed and laughed. Randi had been worried about being stuck in the back seat with this companion, because he had been seen earlier standing in the middle of the Michigan Avenue intersection, mumbling to himself (something about seeing girls and not knowing what to do). But, with the new-found sense of humor he obviously possessed, Randi felt safe in the backseat and instantly fell in love. The En... Oh... and it took a super long time for the young people (and companions) to reach Jackson, Michigan. Seriously... like forty five minutes or something. It was ridiculous. Now, The end.

Today I also got an email from one of my Second City instructors. I ran into Jen Bills during a break in her etc rehearsal... and we talked briefly. The etc stage is about to put up another review that I hope to see sometime soon. Anyway, I asked her if she thought I was on the right track and, frankly, if she thought I was wasting my time. She sent me back a very interesting email... with lots of things for me to think about. Without disclosing too much, she basically gave me the 'artist' answer, that I should be doing this for myself. I'm going to make sure to write her back to thank her... it was awesome of her to take that much time to write me back. But I basically have to figure out if this is worth it all by myself... which is what I both figured and feared.

Finally, tonight, I would like to talk about Ken's "snow day" email. Yes, Ken emailed me with the title being 'snow day'. He then hinted at what that meant. But, since you're not as brilliant as I... I'll spell it out for you, dear reader. This means that Ken is on his way home! I don't know where in the world he is... he could be anywhere with snow and internet access. But, regardless, WHAT A RELIEF to know that he'll be back stateside SOON... very soon. Again, it looks like I won't be able to actually see him until February at the earliest... but his return is still good news.

My parents finally see my show!!!
On Friday night, my parents finally came to see the Assistant Director's Cut. Unfortunately for them, they should have come last week... when everything was going well. The response we got this week was like the luke-warm response we've been getting every other week. My wonderfully supportive parents say that it's because The Assistant Director's Cut isn't very funny. Wow... thanks for the huge pat on the back, mom and dad. They then went on to say that they "loved everything I did" but that the show just "wasn't all that funny." So, there you go; from a completely unbiased source: The show isn't funny and I am brilliant.
After the show, we went to their hotel, so that they could put all their loot somewhere, and then we ate at a Steak and Shake. Oh, there's nothing quite like spending quality time at the Steak and Shake. At least this must have been the thought of an entire high school... as the S&S was flooded with high schoolers (they're up to my knees! [gross!]). I was trying to completely ignore them... but it seemed as though my mom and dad were fascinated... like they were watching wildlife in the zoo. It took my mom saying "Look. That girl is wearing a thong" before I forced them to stop looking and focus in on the conversation I was trying to have. *sigh* Parents! Can't take them anywhere!

On Saturday morning, they drove me to an IHOP to have breakfast and then we went about buying me groceries. As weird as my parents are... they will always want to make sure I: 1) have enough food; 2) have a working vehicle; and 3) am sleeping enough. And, according to them, I never have enough food and am never getting enough sleep. *shakes head* Parents! Can't live without 'em!

Job huntin': I know that I keep saying that I'm not really "looking" for a job until January, but I'm still checking the classifieds in the Reader every week. I HAD to share this one with you, check it out: "HOUSEPERSON/ COOK. LAKE Forest. Executive couple searching for a high-level houseperson/ cook for our Lake Forest home. Ideal candidate will be a hands-on manager with above average cooking skills and will assist with housekeeping, driving and errands. Full-time position with excellent salary and health insurance benefits. Please fax or e-mail your resume to Mrs Meyer..." Um... basically they're looking for a house-husband/wife. They're looking for a third-wheel for their marriage, who can do EVERYTHING that they're supposed to be doing. How weird is that? When they both get home from work, do they both yell "Honey, I'm home!"? If this is what America is coming to, maybe it's about time we really took a look at the way our society is going. If a couple has to "marry" someone else, just to get the groceries bought, and the laundry and cooking done.

Let me touch on this real quick. If you haven't seen it yet, I hope you do... "it" refers to the Rappin' Snowman... a new McDonald's commercial. Wow... I didn't think I could hate McDonald's commercials more than I did before, but I was wrong. This is perhaps the lamest commercial in the history of the world. I tried to look away from it when it came on, lest I melt... so I don't remember it very well. But just look for it. Then look away quickly.
And I'll touch on this, too: Leinart wins the Heisman! Can't say I'm surprised. My mom actually asked me who I thought would win it, and I said Leinart. White already got one, so it wasn't going to be him... Peterson's too young, he'll have his chance next year... Bush is probably the best player in the nation, but, for some reason, it seemed like all the journalists agreed that he was the best all-around player in the nation, but wasn't going to win the Heisman. Leinart's okay. I don't like him, but I don't necessarily hate him. Whatever! to the whole thing!
And, with Charlie Weiss agreeing to become Notre Dame's new head football coach, does that mean we'll soon see the downfall of the Patriots? I can hope. Stupid Patriots!

Finally tonight, I wanted to end with a little more good news. I recently got an email from (soon to be) Staff Sergeant Kenneth J. Huhtala. He's going to be back in the states soon, he said... but he's not going to come visit like we were planning. So, even though I know he'll be 'safe' again soon... I'm not going to be able to see him. Honestly, I miss the piss out of that bastard. I don't think there's a day that's passed since he left when I don't think about him... wishing he was here and that we could hang out: Movies to see, Video games to play, Women to mercilessly hit on... there's so much for us to do. I just think it sucks that I'm not going to get a chance to see him until February 2005. I've been waiting to see that short bastard son-of-a-bitch since, well, since he left in October. That's a long time. I guess another whole month won't kill me... I just, i just really miss him. I'm going to bed... goodnight.

Not sleeping
Well, if you've been paying attention to my post times for the past week or so, you might have noticed that I haven't really been sleeping well recently. Actually, I just checked, and that's a lie. You see, I start making a post and then I save it to finish it later, especially if I'm too tired to write intelligently. But, whatever, trust me when I say that I haven't been sleeping well recently. Hey, I've got it... if you've been paying attention to my AIM away messages and stuff, THEN you'd know I wasn't sleeping well. Right... it doesn't matter. I should just get to the point. Okay. So I went home for Thanksgiving, and my family got me sick. Since then, I tried keeping my normal hours (waking up about 8:30-9AM), but I just ended up still feeling sick, and like I needed more sleep. So I spent a couple days sleeping in. And, let me tell you, I slept in until noon one day; and on a day when Jim came to visit, I slept all morning and most of the afternoon. On those days I felt better, but I couldn't get to sleep that night, and I would end up feeling bad again the next day. This lead me to a non-scheduled schedule, where I wake up whenever I damn well feel like it. The problem here is that I end up not being able to sleep until past 4 AM. Also, it's hot as Hell in my apartment. That has nothing to do with the time thing, but it does make it uncomfortable to try to sleep. I'm naturally warm, and having a warm apartment is just too much.
What the hell is my point? My point is that, for days now, I've been up late. And while I'm up late, I've been re-reading my blog from last year. While reading the first few posts, I thought to myself that I've really come a VERY long way as a writer, just by forcing myself to mentally/verbally diarrhea all over my computer once every day or two. Don't think about images, just move on. But, by the time I get to December, it seems as though I've really found my voice as a writer... at least in blog form. The way I tell stories... the way I play with my reader a bit... the way I am able to go from making myself seem like the most egotistical man in the universe to someone who has serious self-esteem issues, most of the time in the same paragraph... it's all in there.
I do find myself reading it, wishing I could tell that naive young man what will happen to him in the next year... so that he doesn't get so invested in that stupid job. I also find myself being surprised what I'm willing to openly share with my "audience". The suicide post hit me pretty hard in retrospect... but since I had already shared it with everyone, I was able to talk openly with my dad about it a few months back. He said pretty much the same thing I was saying back then, "Just think about how your mother and I would have felt" etc. I know, Dad, that's why I didn't do it. I saw how preoccupied I was with finding a girlfriend. Wow, was I hurt. Holy crap. Looking at the writing as someone distanced from it, it's pretty f--king obvious (remember when I didn't swear on this blog? What happened to that?!). I was trying to play the pity card pretty much every day. Even I'm like, "Give it a rest, you little bitch". At least now I can sit here and say that I'm really not worried about having a girlfriend or a relationship. I wouldn't want to bring anyone into the constant stage cluster f--k that is my life currently.
I also see that I've kept my New Year's Resolution about moving forward (unfortunately it also means not being there for people from the past... whoops!), and I've kept the resolution about not referring to myself as fat. I even lost a fair bit of weight this year, thanks to Thad.
Additionally, I was turning every which way for answers to some of my life questions. I think part of the moving blindly forward I did this year erased the need for me to have those questions answered. I rarely think about a "higher power" or "life's meaning"... because I'm too busy just doing the stupid shit that I've decided is going to fill my life.
Finally, it should be a lot easier to piece together a Top Ten Best and Worst list this year because everything's in my blog. The whole year will have been chronicled, for better and worse. I can easily pick out the #1 worst thing... but it should be interesting to see what makes the list this year. Trips to Vegas, performing with Euphonics again, performing at Second City, and Jean's wedding all have a possibility of making the list, and I'm just pulling stuff from off the top of my head right now. We'll see. Maybe I'll be Stephen J. Gould about this and put my blog on the list. Not likely.

Deadlines approaching
As opening night for Basically Awesome approaches (January 2nd), I'm finding it increasingly difficult to get my group to actually do things that are worth while. We get together and talk about what we should do... and what we need to do to get things done... and what would be "cool" to do... but we don't focus on actually doing anything. And I'm so frustrated. Beyond the fact that I'm the youngest one in the group, and the group seems to be looking at me to figure out how everything needs to be done, I don't seem to be able to get them to really listen. It's like they look to me for answers, but don't listen when I give them. What's up with that? It's like... oh, I don't know. I'm just very frustrated with them right now. Whenever I bring something up that needs to be done... they seem to pretend like they're going to do it... and then nothing happens. I shouldn't say that, Keith seems to be doing all he can... and I understand Adam has two jobs right now, but he needs to get his lines memorized. And I'm just really disappointed in Dave: he's never available; he doesn't get back to me by email; he's not memorized (or even close); and, when I asked him to write the light and sound cues, he just said it would only take about an hour or so. I don't know why that means he can't just do it. But, apparently when something doesn't take long, you can just not do it. Nice.
The good news is that Adam and I created a pretty cool character for me today. I love to be able to play interesting/fascinating characters that I feel comfortable just improvising right away. Hooray!
Hey, I think that the second season of Mr. Show might be my favorite. That has nothing to do with anything!

The Crazy Quiz
I made a quiz on "Quiz your friends so they can feel stupid about how little they know about you" dot com! Here it is! and then Check out the Scoreboard!
Just so you know, I purposefully made it difficult. I thought it would be neat to share some little-known John-facts. Go ahead and take the quiz... and if you get over 50%, you might even get a prize! (read: a date with me if you're a female and I think you're hot)

The good news keeps on coming!
No, you're on the right blog. I know you're confused because this is good news, but keep reading! Last night, I auditioned for a writing five show directed by Joe Janes. This evening I got a phone call from Mr. Janes asking me to be in the cast! I made it! So this writing five show starts rehearsals in January... on Monday nights... and we start performing March 11th. The run is five weeks and ends April 8th! I'm so pumped! I loved my experience of the last writing five show... and I'm assuming that this one will be good too. Joe is an awesome director... his style reminds me a bit of Royal Ward (who I still LOVE), and as long as I memorize my stuff and show up on time ready to work, we'll work together marvelously. Thanks to everyone who wished me luck on my audition yesterday... it apparently worked!

Chicago Fire
I suppose I should say something about the fire here in Chicago last night. Yes, the fire was on my street, LaSalle. No, it wasn't really near me. I mean, comparatively it was a hell of a lot closer to me than anyone else you know... but the LaSalle Bank building is south of me a few city blocks. It's at 135 South LaSalle, and I'm at 1000 North... so I wasn't in any danger. I hear that 22 fire fighters were hospitalized from smoke inhalation-related injuries... but that no one died in the fire. What a fantastic job the Chicago Fire Department did. I mean, as far as dangerous jobs, fire-fighting is probably, domestically, at the top... and they were able to stop a fire that took about five hours to extinguish from killing anyone. Great job, CFD!

And then there's a story like this, that really makes me want to puke. If you're not into "reading", then why are you coming to my blog? I hardly ever have pictures... maybe I should change that. Anyway... allow me to highlight why this news story is so terrible. Two teenage boys hit this woman's SUV with a golf ball (no damage done)... went over to her car to apologize, and then walked away. This woman does a U-turn, in her SUV, over the median and runs the two boys down. She then, as a witness reports, got out of her SUV and smoked a cigarette while the two boys lay bleeding. The woman told police she has a history of mental illness... and will probably use 'insanity' as her defense to get out of the three counts of attempted vehicular homicide she will no doubt face (did I mention she went after a third boy after hitting the first two? No? Well, she did.) My question here is, if she in fact does have a history of mental illness... how is she allowed to drive, not just a car, but a huge-ass killer SUV? Maybe we can't stop people with mental illnesses from getting drivers licenses... but shouldn't we be able to limit which kinds of vehicles they can drive? Like, "oh... I see you are prone to want to kill people for hitting your car with small objects? Have a Yugo"... or something. Or at least say, "compact cars only"? I hate SUVs in general. I think they make driving less safe for everyone... especially those with smaller cars. I can't see over an SUV to the traffic ahead. That's dangerous, no matter what anybody else thinks. But, whatever, all this is moot, since the psycho woman probably shouldn't have been driving in the first place. That's all I've got.

Football's boring. Scroll down!
Let me get the pain out of the way first. Yesterday, there was a certain Packers/Eagles game played. Anyone who follows that sort of thing knows that the game was the complete opposite of pretty. The Eagles had effectively won the game after about 10 minutes of the first quarter. Slaughter, massacre, Armageddon... these are just a few of the words that are too tame to describe what happened to my Packers yesterday. Don't get me wrong, I figured my Pack would lose... the Eagles are one of the most talented teams in the league. And the game was in Philadelphia, which is a place where Green Bay hasn't had much success (remember Randall Cunningham? He beat us every year).
I guess one of the reasons why I'm so upset has to do with a decision their coach made. Remember how I said the game was over by the end of the first quarter? Well, it was most certainly done by half-time... and it was actually officially logged as a win for the Eagles by half-way through the third quarter. Well, their couch, Andy Reid (a one-time Packers QBs coach), kept his starters in until about 7 and a half minutes left IN THE GAME. He still had his first team guys in, long after the game was officially over. This is, in football terminology, referred to as a "cock move." If we were using the war/football cliche metaphor, it would be like dropping an atomic weapon AFTER the other side has surrendered. It's like saying "Hey... did you see that we won? Did you see by how much? Hey! Did you see we won?!"
I think the most disappointing part of the loss is that, last year, Green Bay was the better team. Yes, I know the Eagles won TWICE against the Packers last year, but Green Bay was the better team in both games. "Well," you say, "if they were the better team, why didn't they win?" That's why they play the games, they say... and the better team doesn't always win (see the Bears win over Minnesota this weekend, or any win by the Arizona Cardinals in franchise history). But this year, Philly is definitely the better team... so they deserved the win. I just wish they weren't such cocks about it.

Scroll to here!
On to happier things, when I read this headline, I couldn't believe it: Disposable cell phone cover grows into flower. Then I read the article. They've invented a cell phone cover that is totally bio-degradable, and it includes a sunflower seed in the cover, so that it grows into a sunflower when it's thrown away. Incredible! Finally, technology works FOR the environment instead of against it. The article says that the company is working on coming up with more plastics that are bio-degradable and eco-friendly. Happy day!

As I mentioned on November 17, a woman did an article on Adam and his roommates Chip and Owen. If you follow this link, you'll see a pretty good picture of Chip, and then Adam and Owen are in the background (Owen is the balding dude on the left, Adam's in the swivel chair on the right). If you look REALLY CLOSE, you can plainly see that I'm not in the picture at all, even though I'm in the apartment at the time. And, notice the women made no mention of me even being there... probably because she was from Cadillac. True story... but it has more to do with me not living there, I think. And the fact that the story is about online gamers, and that's not really something I'm into. I even told her so... effectively writing myself out of her story. But I didn't want to be in her stupid story anyway, she's from Cadillac. Stupid Cadillac!

Feeling Sick + Taking Medicine = CRAZY Dreams
On Thursday night, I had two dreams that I remember. In the first one, I'm eating a video tape in my basement while talking to my sister. I don't remember much else of the dream besides the fact that I was very nonchalant while eating the tape AND I remember thinking about how best to eat the actual film of the tape: should I slurp it like spaghetti? or should I rip it and eat parts like a fruit-by-the-foot? Don't ask me what it means... maybe video tapes are delicious, you don't know.
The second dream I remember even less of... but it is just another example of the weird way I dream. It was a Sci-Fi lameo dream... where aliens have captured the humans on their ship, and the humans have to fight to survive, etc. Whatever, right? Well, this is where I get all weird, even for me. I don't think I was in this dream. The 'main character' was a woman about my age, and she was saving two other, younger people. And they were running through the ventilation system (aliens need bigger ventilation systems, so they were running, what?). I don't know about you, but I think it's weird to have dreams where you're not even there... you're just watching it like a movie. Whatever.
Last night, I had a stupid little dream where my blog was published earlier than I wanted. You see, I write for a while and then I save the post as a draft and come back to it. It's very rare that I sit, write, and post all at one time. So in the dream, I accidentally posted my rough outline of a post and somebody asked me what was up with my last post... and I was all "Oh no! My blog!" because I'm lame.

Speaking of lame, I recently visited a little website called We Are Not Sorry.com. Please allow me to copy and paste the welcome statement. This is from the wearenotsorry website:
"Welcome to We Are Not Sorry where our name says it all. We have nothing to be sorry for. November 2nd 2004 was an affirmation that true Americans still believe in what is good and right for this country. President George W Bush personifies what Americas is, which a strong , courageous, GOD loving, and a moral nation. We are tired of everyone beating up on the United States and we are standing up to all the anti-American people out there that we are proud of our country, We do not believe that we are perfect by no means, but we continue to strive to be as great a nation as we can. But November 2nd was just the beginning. We still have many things for us Not to be sorry for. So enjoy your visit with us and may God Bless You and may God Continue to Bless America"
I did not alter this text from the website WHAT-SO-EVER. Notice that Bush personifies what "Americas is". And follow the rest of that sentence, if you can. I like that they are "standing up... that we are proud"... and notice a comma ends this sentence. "We still have many things for us Not to be sorry for"... I don't even know what that's supposed to be saying. And Look! In America, any Word can Be Capitalized for No reason! Ha ha!
Yes. As if the horrific slaughter of the English (or should I say American?) language isn't enough, they also have pictures! If you click on the photos link, I think you'll be surprised by how many people with big guns aren't sorry. Or maybe you won't be.

As if this filth wasn't enough, there's an even worse website out there. Rhea, I suggest you not go to this one if you're having a good day... because it's only going to get you all worked up and you're going to talk all fast and I'm not going to know what you're saying... and then you'll leave comments where you start with the word "What" but you're asking a question, but you didn't include a question mark so I have to read the sentence about four times before I figure out that you should have left a question mark. Anyway... check this website out ProtestWarrior.com. This is their welcome (taken directly from the website):
"Welcome to ProtestWarrior.com, a website created to help arm the liberty-loving Silent Majority with ammo -- ammo that strikes at the intellectual solar plexus of the Left."
Since when was the majority silent? They seem to do a pretty good job telling us what they think when they think it. And like the Republicans need more 'ammo'... don't they have all the ammunition? Didn't they see the other site? But, as far as a website standpoint, this one is much more professional, intelligent, and therefore scarier to me than the other, stupid one. Honestly, this website is very well put together... and they seem to be well organized as a group. I even like one of their t-shirts: "End Racism & Sexism Now! Kill All White Males". I think that's funny, and a good idea. Except, I think their point is that the statement they're making is ridiculous, where as I disagree and think it's a viable option. Regardless, it seems this website's favorite saying is: "Except for Ending Slavery, Facism, Nazism, and Communism, WAR Has Never Solved Anything". While I understand the point they're making, let's look a little more closely, shall we? Hmm... Perhaps no one has told the 1.2 billion Chinese that communism has ended. But the bigger problem here is saying that war "solved" problems, and "ended" things. While they have a point with Nazism... I believe slavery was ended peacefully by Lincoln and "solved" peacefully by Martin Luther King, Jr and others during the Civil Rights Movement. Regardless, it's important to know what the "other side" is thinking... so check out this page, if you get the chance.

This Friday night was my forth performance of the ADs Cut... and it was by far the best. We had the audience from the very beginning... and it seemed we could do no wrong. I love it when that happens; when it seems the audience will come with you no matter what you're doing or saying. It's very rare, but when it happens... it's like magic. Even during the Se7en scene we were getting big laughs. My friend Adam came and saw the show. And he said that I got a huge laugh because, at one point in the scene, I gave a half-smile as John Doe... just half my mouth curled up, and the audience laughed. That's how with us this audience was. It was an awesome experience.
Afterwards, I stuck around and saw a show called Voices of Freedom. It's a two-part, poetry, theatre, and hip-hop festival of awesomeness. Well, at least the first part was. It was broken up into the New Skool Poetics and then the DMG & The Freedom. The New Skool had this slam poet named Kevin Coval. When I watched him, I thought "Damn, I wish Nick was here to see this." He was GOOD... DAMN good. He's been on HBOs Def Poetry like three times and he's been part of the Chicago National Slam Poetry Team... he was really really good. So that was awesome. The second part was a little self-indulgent... about a woman who went to jail basically because her boyfriend was a bastard. I got the story from her in different ways (songs, poems, acted out) about a dozen times... so I could really get into it, if you wanted me to. But it was, as Nick would say, 'self-indulgent bullshit art.'
After that, Adam and I stayed to watch the midnight double-bill of My Naked Friends/The Animal Club. My Naked Friends did an improv show... and half the group was good, and the other half was pretty crap. But they had a hot red-head so I was riveted the whole time. And The Animal Club was good... even though I thought there was a chance that they could be a whole bunch of douches. They had a video of themselves to open the show... and it was them, like, having fun and rehearsing and it had all their names like it was an opening for a sit-com or something and I thought to myself... "Oh crap, here we go again." The last time I saw something like this for a live show was the Amazin' Blue concert... and they turned out to be huge douche-bags. But, I should've known... they all go to Michigan. Anyway... like I said, The Animal Club was good... but they've been to Caroline's Comedy Club in NY. And they're from Pennsylvania, so even being at The Second City is big for them... and they have a quote from a San Francisco paper on their poster saying that they're "one of the best sketch groups in the country," and I thought to myself, "I don't think they're THAT good." They're not THAT good... but they are pretty good, and the show was funny. Check out their website if you want to know more about them.

The beginning of a new era: Euphonics A.S. (After Steeno)
First of all, I want to congratulate the current Euphonic's on what I'm sure was a fabulous set of concerts Wednesday night. From what I hear, LAAP forced them to have to two concerts... because the fire code is violated every time there's a Euphonic's concert. That fact, that there are too many students watching the concerts than is safe, is awesome. I watched our first concert again last night... just for poops and giggles. As I was watching it, I realized something weird: People laugh at stuff I do that isn't funny. It's almost as if they laugh assuming whatever I just said or did was funny, but they didn't get it, but they don't want to look like they didn't get it. I mean, I walked across the stage during James Bond and people laughed. I was WALKING. I don't think I got why they laughed then... and I really don't get it now. Although now I laugh because the audience was laughing and I don't get it. This is besides the point. The point is that there was actually space between people at that first concert... but since then, we did a fantastic job promoting ourselves. And the Euphonics concert became, just for one night (and that's all I ever wanted), the biggest thing on campus. I worry about Liberal Arts At Play forcing them to put on two shows... because it makes that one night per semester far less special. I hope the Euphonics can figure out a way to make LAAP happy and keep that special night special. Anyway, congratulations on what I'm sure was a fantastic concert.

On Tuesday, I bought the Jay-Z/Linkin Park CD with the $10 gift certificate I got for buying Halo2. Even though I really like the CD, and I really like Linkin Park, this CD is yet another way for Linkin Park to make money on songs they've ALREADY released (see ReAnimation). Part of me finds this totally disgusting. Just write new stuff! I've heard this already! And, honestly, I like this CD more for Jay-Zs part in it, rather than LPs. There's nothing like taking a painting off a wall, rotating it, and selling it back as a new painting. That's classy.

I got a call from Adam on Wednesday. He said that Casie, a young lady mentioned earlier in this blog, is thinking about opening up a Coldstone in Chicago with some added financial help from her father. Would I be interested in jumping on board that ship, if it were ever to sail? I told him that there is a LOT of work to be done before I will even consider it as a possibility, but that I would, in fact, be interested. From what they told me, Mr. Johnson made (after expenses) a quarter of a million dollars from the Wells Coldstone ALONE this year. If he wasn't so damn miserly with that money, I should have seen a lot more of it than I did. So, with that in mind, I would be able to do the parts of the job I liked... and get more money for it... and be even more in charge. And it would be run like every other Coldstone in the country, where the owners also work in the store because they're not business asshole people (read: Johnsons), they're people who want to make their store work. HOWEVER, I still feel that there are two truths that will keep this idea from becoming a reality: 1) The Chicago market is flooded with Coldstone's, and 2) the way Coldstone operates and is run makes it a perfect candidate for a company that will soon fall flat on it's face. I see Coldstone having another year or two before it starts retracting instead of growing, and Coldstones start closing. At any rate, it was nice to be asked to be on the ground floor of a company like that. It made me feel wanted... and that's always nice.

A little after five on Wednesday, Jim came over. I still felt kind of like poop, so we ordered a pizza and stayed in. We watched some TV and talked. It sounds like he's a couple weeks away from leaving Chicago for good. In all honesty, I feel it's what's best for him. Like he said in his blog, he really hasn't tried to make Chicago his home... and there's nothing for him here besides pain. It's time for him to move on. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like he's gotten a whole lot of responses on his resumes. Personally, if he doesn't get anything definite, I think he should just pack up and move to D.C. because it's where he wants to be. He can worry about finding a job when he gets there. If he wants it badly enough, it'll be worth the risk, I'm sure.

While Jim was here, he mentioned that Mr. Alexander Carroll's movie had opened. I had completely forgotten. It opened over Thanksgiving in "select cities" (read: Utah). But talk about someone who just went after what they wanted. As much as I make fun of Alex (and made fun of him to his face in the past), I am very proud of him going out there and doing his thing. I'm looking forward to seeing this movie... but I'll probably have to wait until it comes out on DVD. I checked the website and it's not coming to a single theatre in the mid-west. I would've even traveled as far as Nebraska or St. Louis to see it. But, alas, there are only a few places that the movie will actually hit theatres in January of next year (one of which being Las Vegas... road trip to visit Ken?). And I told Laura that I'm going to buy two copies of it when it comes out on DVD... one copy to watch, and one to send to Alex to get him to sign. *nods* Oh that's right.

I watched American Movie today. I had seen it before, but it didn't strike me until today. In a lot of ways, I am the dude from that movie. I even watched "Coven", the short movie he finished during American Movie. Even though this guy is surrounded by complete idiocy and incompetence... you can tell that he's really trying to do something meaningful with his life. Moreso now that I got back after Thanksgiving, I find myself really wanting to create something that really MEANS something.
However, the search for doing something meaningful can be so consuming that I think it can take control of your life. I saw Nick struggling with this while I was at Albion. He was so centered and focused on creating something truly meaningful, that he was willing to detatch himself from everything that would help him accomplish that goal. As much as we writers hate it, if we don't have the stupid, mundane everyday interactions with people... we loose touch with what it's really like to live in our society. I'm not saying my interactions with YOU are mundane... but, let's face it, most of our day is spent wishing we were somewhere else. I think it's important to be in a place we don't like for a while, or in a job we hate for a while... it really allows us, as writers, to tap into some very base and universal emotions. Furthermore, I think that our society as a whole is not content with itself now... so being someplace you hate just makes you that much more honest as the voice of the generation.

In other news, while he's not busy appointing Senator's from Nebraska to be Secretary of Agriculture, Mr. Bush does stately things like lighting the White House Christmas tree. The official lighting of the White House Christmas tree was yesterday. If you needed proof that we are truly a Christian nation, regardless of what we say we are, there it is. Do not get me wrong, I don't have a problem with this being a Christian nation, as it's the truth. This nation was founded by Christians, all the important documents and laws were written by Christians... it has Christian written all over it. I do, however, have a problem with this being a Christian nation that pretends it's something else... something better or more inclusive. I don't know who said this, or where I got it (so it must be true), but there was relative peace in the middle east for hundreds of years... as Christians and Jews knew that they were living under a Muslim rule. No one really had a problem with it. It wasn't until the British came in and demanded that the Christians and Jews govern themselves that there was a problem. My point being, I don't think anyone would necessarily have a problem with the government if we just came out and said what we are. But we pretend we're this body that's better than, that's above the ideas of those people in it; that we're this meta-governmental body totally infallible and always fighting for "truth" and "justice" and similarly obscure ideals.
Speaking of pretending things as a nation, I love how Pres. Bush can sit and talk about the UN chief Annan 'scandal'--oil for food--like he doesn't think it's a REALLY good idea. "Hell," he's thinking "we've got plenty of food here... I could be rich. Again." Is it the biggest scandal in "world history"... like they are saying on Fox News? You tell me.

In completely unrelated news, I've been "working on" a screenplay for some time now. By working on, I mean that I've been thinking about characters, character models, locations, and a story-line. But I haven't had a full cast until last night: my cast is finally set. This is big news, for me, as it means I can finally see everyone in the movie in my head... and maybe I can finally put pen to paper and see what they're actually saying to each other. Exciting!

Thanksgiving at home
I know this happened a while ago, but I've collected some random thoughts from my trip home for Thanksgiving. Please allow me to regurgitate them here:
Sunday was my trip home. My parents like to know when I leave Chicago so that they can plan on when they need to start worrying about me dying in a horrible car crash. The flip-side of this is having my parents try to figure out how fast I was going to get home at the time I did. This was the case Sunday, as both my parents looked at a clock when I said hello to them. And then I got the disapproving "you were going too fast" look. There's no pleasing them.
Not even with a Packers win. I watched the Packers/Texans game with them Sunday night, and the intensity in the room is so thick you could cut it out of the air and use it as a paperweight. Whenever the team the Packers are playing has the ball... and it looks like they might get some yards, I can see my dad tense up. He's seated in his recliner, with his feet up, and I can watch his feet lift from the footrest as his whole body tenses. And my mother yells at the TV and curses like a sailor (a funny visual to anyone who's ever met her, but Nate can confirm its truth). When I still lived at home, I found it hard to watch close games with my parents: I would leave the room. Perhaps this is one of the reasons, as Laura knows, that I would rather my Packers win every game by fifty or more points... with the game pretty much decided by the end of the first half. Boring games for you, but I'll take the win thank you.

This is a fantastic lead-in to my DREAM that night. I dreamed that I was selling food at Lambeau Field. In one of the concession stands. That was basically it. Aren't you glad I shared it? No? Didn't think so.

Monday I went to GR with my folks. The reason we went to GR was to get me an early Christmas gift! Hooray! So we went to Best Buy... and the goal was to get me a CD changer for my car (as the CD player was basically working less each day). They had a JVC 12 (twelve!) disc changer on sale for like half-off. And that's what we did.
While they were installing the changer, my parents decided to take me clothes shopping. My mom, for some reason, totally loves buying me clothes. I find it pretty crap to buy clothes at the mall, because mall people are assholes. They either look at you like you're not good enough to shop at their store OR like "thank God you came in today, you tragic tragic boy. I can save you!". Mall people are assholes.
Then we went to the Olive Garden. I haven't been to an Olive Garden since, probably, since I graduated from Albion. Oh oh OH do I love the Olive Garden!
When I got home, my sister and I watched How Clean is Your House? They were showing the bedroom of a woman (the mother of the household), and on one of her pillows was a red stain. I deep, red, big stain. They showed her menstruation pillow. I didn't know that was even something that existed... but it does. And why wouldn't this woman, oh I don't know, CLEAN THE FUCKING PILLOW?! I don't know, maybe put it in water... or throw it away. Yeah... totally gross.

Let's talk about something else right now. There's an article in TIME magazine called "Closing the Gap". It's about middle-class African-American students who are statistically doing worse in school than the white students. The article actually speaks a little about mah boy Obama... he thinks that some black students might still be worried about looking or acting "white" by doing well in school. The article also says that, when a white child isn't doing well, the parents try to make the system work for them... whereas when a black child isn't doing well, the parents are more likely to see the problem is that the teachers are racially biased. Interesting... and something for the other blog.

Speaking of TIME, there's another article I read called "Cosmic Conundrum". This article explores a question that has bounced around my head for years: Why is the universe so remarkably hospitable to life? The Christians believe in something called the Anthropic Principle--the Cosmos is perfectly tuned to us--because it logically brings us to the whole Intelligent-Design movement... the watch-maker, etc. Moving on... the article talked about the possibilities of multiple universes on parallel spheres of existence, and it even gives a few possibilities as to how it might be possible to have multiple universes. Let's explore them, shall we? 1) Black holes: Density and gravity become infinitely great within a black hole. This could possibly be enough to rip a hole in the very fabric of space-time. If space-time is ripped, it might possibly create a new universe expanding out in a imperceptible direction from the black hole in our universe. And, with multiple black holes creating multiple universes... at least one universe should be inhabitable. 2) Inflation theory: During the Big Bang, the universe expanded at a speed far greater than the speed of light. Our universe obviously slowed down rapidly to allow all this *points* to happen. It might be possible that our universe took some kind of side-track, or off-ramp, and that there is still something out there moving at super-high speeds, leaving other universes in its wake. 3) String (or M) Theory. Oh... back in the day when I was way into Physics, String theory was the newest, hottest, most interesting thing out there. It sounds like little else has been decided since I first heard about it (besides the sparsely used name change). It has been a while since I read/did anything involving physics, so I hope you'll forgive me if my recollection isn't 100% accurate, but this is what I know about String Theory. Some physicists believe that all matter, even atomic matter and sub-atomic particles like leptons, baryons, and mesons (btw, quarks are my favorite sub-atomic particles... with names like up, down, top, bottom, strange, and charm how could they not be?! Plus, quark is a nonsense word made up by James Joyce in Finnegan's Wake. Strange but true) are made up of strings and not the 'balls' of matter (atoms) we all studied in high school chemistry. The string theory came about to explain why some light can act both like a beam and a wave. Now, from what I understand, scientists believe that the motion of these strings are difficult to mathematically predict because the strings exist in up to ten dimensions of space. Yes, ten dimensions. That was when I was introduced to some story where a square is looking down on a line and the line can't understand how the square exists... but to the square, 2 dimensions is normal and the highest level of being; meanwhile, a cube is watching the square. And so on. Along those same lines, it has often been postulated that time is the fourth or fifth dimension. So there might exist a being who can see all of time from above like we see 2 dimensional figures (I believe one of Vonnegut's books has this in it [Slaughterhouse-Five?]). With all these extra dimensions, there could exist extra universes within a sub-atomic particle in our own universe. A group of scientists actually did the calculation and, if string theory is correct, then the number of universes that could exist due to string theory is a HUNDRED BILLION BILLION times the number of ATOMS in OUR UNIVERSE. No matter how many times I think about it, I can't wrap my mind around that number.
Regardless of the universes that might exist, we focus on our own to try to figure out why we exist here now. In 1999, scientist Martin Rees claimed that just "six numbers" make life on earth possible (we're talking the gravity, temperature, oxygen content in the atmosphere, etc). The anthropic principle is forcing scientists to figure out if there is anything special about the numbers that allow us to exist. If there is something special, ordered, or recognizable about the calculations to our universe and our existence... it just might prove that we were intelligently designed. Imagine what that would do for the world. Great things?... terrible things?... at least it would be unification of the entire world's population in one thought: At one time, something created us. We weren't a cosmic accident. Throughout history, great things have been discovered while trying to figure out God's plan/design. Perhaps this could be another in that list. Or we could still be all alone... in the chaos that is existence.
No segue
Wednesday Night, I went out to Jeph's with my sister. Rhea and Jean (read: Jean and Rhea) were already there, looking as lovely as ever. They forced me to watch Desperate Housewives, however... which was not lovely of them. But I made it through the show and all it's backstabbing and cross-plotting. Hooray for me! Then we played a home-made version of Scattergories. It's kind of more fun to just make-up the catergories than it is to actually play the real game. And then we asked each other questions... and I think Jeph thought I was an idiot. But that's just the projection of my insecurities. Hey... I sound like a woman!

Thanksgiving: I didn't watch all of the Colts/Lions game because it was almost as painful as watching the Colts/Packers game, except I didn't think the Lions stood much of a chance after about fifteen minutes. Ouch. And Peyton Manning is good. And that's all I'm saying about that.
The Bears/Cowboys was some of the worst displays of offense I've seen from the NFL in a very very long time. Julius Jones (who went to a fine non-arrogant institution) was the best offensive player on the field in that game, and he basically won the game for the Cowboys by himself. That game sucked.
Then was the Thanksgiving feast. The food was good... but I noticed that I can't eat as much as I used to. I think that's probably a good thing... but it's weird to notice that you're different on the inside. You... are different... on the inside. That's a trippy thing to notice. You can notice when you change on the outside... or even when you change idealistically or you change the way you view something, you know that you're changing. But to actually notice you're internally different, it's like... well... it's like puberty.
Speaking of, I finally saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban over Thanksgiving. Yes, it seems like every single character in the movies have hit puberty since the last one (I've got my eye on a certain Ms. Grainger... intelligence is sexy). I watched it with my folks, who haven't read the books, and I was a little upset by how much important, or interesting information, I had to fill them in on because it was left out of the movie. I think this one, more than the last two, left out important information. However, since it was my favorite book of the three that have been made into movies, it's probably my favorite movie of the three. And Hermione is kinda hot. And that's gross for me to say.

Friday, I drove back to Chicago. What made it bearable was the fact that I can put the entire magazine of 12-discs in my car CD changer on random. That's a random CD and a random song... and that's freakin' awesome, because I never know what's coming... but I know it's going to be five shades of awesome. What made the drive unbearable was how much I was worrying about Conservatory letter that was waiting for me in Chicago. But we all know how that ended... so happy day!