PERSONAL A Sick Chelsey Is Not A Happy Chelsey
Thursday morning, around 11 AM, Chelsey called me from work sounding very weak. She felt ill and wanted me to pick her up from work. No problem... but I was a little worried. She sounded like it was more than just being ill... but I couldn't put my finger on it. When I got to her office building, she climbed into the car and was almost hyperventilating. I was--frankly--scared. Why? For example, I kept asking her if I needed to take her to a hospital, but I honestly don't know where a hospital is in this city. I know there are like a million hospitals in Chicago, but I couldn't tell you where one is except for the Children's Hospital. So I was worried that Chelsey was going to need help and I wouldn't know how to get it for her. Thankfully, she calmed down... I made her soup and sat next to her as she fell asleep. The situation made me so tense that even I took a nap. She was able to sleep all afternoon but had to get up to run tech for her show. I wasn't able to drive her up there because I met with the cast of a show I did a year and a half ago (which was weird and awesome... might write about that later)--but I picked her up after the show.
As far as the hyperventilating is concerned... I think I understand that in retrospect. If I remember correctly, the first time I got really sick in Chicago--I was by myself and I was so afraid that I hyperventilated and I may have cried. I was just thinking about being alone and, had something really terrible happened to me, no one would have know for days or maybe weeks. It's scary to be in a new place and to feel so vulnerable.
NOW SOME SPORTS... YOU KNOW, FOR KATY'S SAKE...
FOOTBALL The Great Vince Young Conspiracy
When I saw Vince Young almost single-handedly defeat one of the greatest teams in college football history (yes I hate them, but they were good) this past January, I seriously thought he would push Reggie Bush for the first over-all pick in the draft. Compound the fact that the first over-all pick was Houston, where Young is from, AND that the Texans had been displeased with their current QB (David Carr)... and I thought Young was almost a lock to go first in this year's draft. Then came the months of down-time between games and the draft... and in came the Vince Young doubters. And the doubters must have been driving buses... because his detractors came out in droves. Now we're hearing he scored a 6 on the Wonderlic (he must be stupid!) and he only ran a 4.53 40 (he's slow!)... and I'm supposed to forget how he can dominate a game from the quarterback position? And now I hear people tell me that Jay Cutler is a better quarterback. Which QB just won the national championship? I tell you what, you can get Cutler and his Vanderbilt teammates and I'll take Vince Young and some of my friends, and I promise we'll beat team Cutler. Vince Young is everything that Michael Vick was supposed to be... he can throw, he can pass, and he can lead a team to a championship. I'll take Young, thanks.
I think the reason he's so heavily scrutinized is because of Vick, actually. Teams don't want a quarterback who gets hurt every season... so they're worried about Young's running. But I will say, right now, that a team will pick up Young later than expected (Raiders at 7? Cardinals at 10? Cowboys at 18??!) and they will get an absolute STEAL! Good luck, Mr. Young.
FOOTBALL Everyone Is Making Big Moves... Except For My Packers
There's not a whole lot for me to report as far as Packers off-season moves are concerned. This year, more than previous years, it bothers me. The Pack weren't very good last season (read: they sucked), and they have tons of money under the cap... so why aren't the Packers going out and getting free agents? Are they trying to get Favre to retire with a shitty passive-aggressive plan? I wouldn't doubt it. If they want Favre to retire, they can't cut him (everyone in Wisconsin would riot) and they can't trade him (everyone in Wisconsin would riot)... but they can make Green Bay so undesirable that Favre doesn't want to return (I'm just full of conspiracies today!).
The Packers were the bottom of the NFC North barrel last season... but do I see the other teams getting better? No... not necessarily. Like what? Let's look:
Bears Additions: QB Brian Griese (Bucs)--I don't understand this... but it means the end of the Kyle Orton era in Chicago. Grossman will be the starter this year until he gets hurt (week 1 or 2), and Griese will be the back-up. This is kind of a crap move, but at least they're making moves. WR Antonio Chatman (Packers)--Good riddance. Chatman has been the Packers only return man for about two years and every time he gets the ball I worry he'll fumble. He doesn't have the skill to actually score a touchdown on a punt or kick (I don't think I've ever seen it)... so I don't get why he was the one returning kicks. Bears fans... have fun watching him fumble.
Bears Subtractions: CB/KR Jerry Azumah (retired)--This one-time Pro Bowler was a dangerous returner. He had injury problems, however, and never became the dominant returner he should have been.
Lions Additions: WR Corey Bradford (Texans)--Remember when Bradford played for the Packers and he had one good season and then left for Texas and the money? Bradford is the ultimate proof that Brett Favre can make mediocre wide receivers look amazing. Good luck with him, Lions. QBs Jon Kitna (Bengals) and Josh McCown (Cardinals)--I'm a Kitna fan. I think he can easily lead a team to the playoffs. I don't know if he's a Super Bowl caliber quarterback... but he's better than Harrington. McCown was the back-up pick... trying to slap Harrington in the face before he left. McCown will be the backup, for sure... and Harrington will be playing piano for money somewhere.
Lions Subtractions: QB Jeff Garcia (Eagles)--Not a big deal here, Kitna is better than Garcia. Hey, maybe Garcia is just trying to follow TO's path. Look for Garcia to end his career in Dallas. CB Andre Goodman (Dolphins)--When Goodman was a rookie, I thought he had a chance to be pretty good. He has, however, disappointed. He might be better in Miami, though, as that defense has a way of making cornerbacks better.
Vikings Additions: This is the hardest one to write. I hate Minnesota... I have so much burning hatred for them, that I'm damn near blinded to how great their offseason has been. Here are the names... and you tell me that they're not head and shoulders above the other teams: G Steve Hutchinson (Seahawks... arguably the best Guard in the league); K Ryan Longwell (Packers... and my personal Fantasy Football kicker for five or six seasons. This hurts); QB Mike McMahon (Eagles... and the guy who, while with the Lions, I said I would have loved to replace Favre); FB Tony Richardson (Chiefs... where he spent his first 11 seasons); RB Chester Taylor (Ravens); and S Tank Williams (Titans). Nice.
Vikings Subtractions: S Corey Chavous (Rams)--Smart and good... Chavous has done draft-day commentary for ESPN for a couple years. I'm glad he's gone from the ViQueens. RB Michael Bennett (Saints)--Any University of Wisconsin player shouldn't have to play for Minnesota... I'm glad he's out. QB Dante Culpepper (Miami)--Is this addition by subtraction? Or is this one of the worst moves Minnesota has made since trading away Randy Moss?
Packers Additions: S Marquand Manuel (Seahawks)--I almost jumped for joy when I heard this. Almost. (Sarcasm!) AND THAT'S IT!
Packers Subtractions: WR Antonio Chatman (Bears) and K Ryan Longwell (Vikings) I've already mentioned. QB Craig Nall (Bills)--Nall tore apart the World League last summer... he's got the skills, he just needs a shot. C Mike Flanagan (Texans)--This angers me greatly. Yeah Flanagan's in his tenth season... but he's good. Remember when the Packers had the best offensive line in football? Wasn't that two seasons ago? But your o-line goes from good to shitty if you let all your players leave. My team sucks.
The Moral of this story: The Vikings are better... but the bottom of the division is still up for grabs. My bet is on the Packers to be pulling up the rear this season. I'm so disappointed in them. *sigh*
Commercials Can Hooters Make Their Waitresses Seem More Vapid? They're Trying
If you don't know what I'm talking about, Hooters has a new advertising campaign. I've only seen one commercial for it, but this is how the commercial goes: Hooters manager woman tells all the waitresses that crab legs are only $7.99 a pound... so sell them up; World's largest body-building grandfather orders crab legs; waitress says "okay," whistles (we get a campy reaction shot from patron), and a scale is brought in; Hooters manager woman wonders aloud to other waitress why no one is buying crab legs; waitress says they're too expensive; when manager is confused, waitress says "that guy weighs over 200 pounds!"... leading to campy reaction shot from manager. Ta da! Commercial done. I mean, no one expects Hooters waitresses to be intelligent... but if I were an intelligent woman working at Hooters, there's no way I'd be happy with this campaign. It's also, frankly, more stupid than funny. And it's not like they need a "funny commercial" so we'll remember Hooters. The people who are going to go there already know it... and the people who aren't eating there aren't going to say "Ha ha... funny commercial, I should eat at Hooters." I cringe whenever that commercial comes on... and I hope someone at the ad agency gets fired.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
PERSONAL Movin On Up
Saturday afternoon, I received a phone call from the company that manages my apartment building. I didn't answer because I didn't recognize the number. The person who called left a message about how someone was interested in seeing my apartment, and would it be possible to come up Sunday at 1. As such, I spent much of Saturday cleaning, packing, and moving things around in my apartment. I ended up calling the leasing agent back and the woman cancelled on him--so no viewing of the apartment Sunday--but I think that scare was exactly what I needed to get my move kick-started.
I've got more boxes than I know what to do with... I've got stuff all over the place... yet my apartment looks cleaner than it has in a year or more. There was just too much stuff in this apartment for the space. And I fear the same thing will happen when I move into Chelsey's. For just her stuff, her apartment is huge... but, for both of us, I fear her apartment is not going to be large enough. We'll have five months of "uncomfortable" living until we can find an apartment big enough for both of us. And I am slightly annoyed by the thought that I'm just going to have to pack everything up again in about four months... especially considering that it's going to take me probably a good couple of weeks before I'm going to feel comfortable with all my loot in her place. As such, we're talking about a three month period where I have my stuff at Chelsey's and I feel comfortable with where everything is. Oh of course it's worth it. Yeah Chelsey's!
SPORTS Brackets Are Busted: The Dust Settles On Rounds One And Two
This past weekend was the first weekend of "March Madness." There are but sixteen teams left... and those teams are sweet. Cheesy? I can never tell.
Regardless, I was fortunate enough to have basketball on this weekend whilst packing and cleaning. You know what's coming... a break-down of what I think will happen in the games next weekend. Let's take a look at the brackets!
Atlanta
Duke/LSU: I have to admit two things about this game--1) Even though I saw Duke in the regular season and their conference tournament, I haven't seen Duke in this tourney and; 2) I'm kind of a Duke fan. I like Duke. I've liked Duke since I was young. I like Coach Krzyzewski... and have liked Duke because of him ever since I can remember. I saw some of the LSU/Texas A&M game... and LSU is lucky to be here. Even though I don't think Duke is strong enough to make it all the way, I'll take Duke here.
West Virginia/Texas: I have to admit something else--I am a West Virginia fan. I started following this team in last year's NCAA's... and have rooted for them all season. I'm taking W. Virginia... for no other reason than I'm rooting for a team of (basically) white guys.
Duke/West Virginia: If West Virginia is hitting their threes--they're hard to beat. Same for Duke. If this is actually the match-up (warning: Wussing out ahead!), I'm not going to care who wins... I like both teams. With West Virginia's paint scoring in question, however, I'll take Duke.
Oakland
Memphis/Bradley: I have yet to be impressed by Memphis. But they're deep. And three things will bring your team deep in the NCAAs every year--1) Great/Consistent/Smart guard play; 2) Consistent threes; 3) Deep benches. Memphis should, unfortunately, handle Bradley here... too bad for the underdogs from Peoria (O'Bryant really impressed).
Gonzaga/UCLA: This might be the best match-up of the sweet sixteen. I saw Gonzaga beat Indiana pretty much sans Adam Morrison. Granted, I don't think Indiana is all that great, but it proved to everyone that Gonzaga can win without Morrison scoring a billion points. Unfortunately for them, I think UCLA is too talented--top to bottom--to be beaten. I've got UCLA.
Memphis/UCLA: Memphis is deep, but UCLA is too... plus UCLA will hit more threes, and should outlast Memphis. UCLA ends up where they seem to belong--the Final Four.
Washington D.C.
UConn/Washington: I have to admit that I don't want to root for Washington because they beat my Fightin' Illini. However, Washington clawed their way back in that game and that will be important against UConn. UConn will go up big in this game, but Washington won't go away. Unfortunately for Washington (and as evident by the UConn game Sunday), UConn will outlast them. UConn will win this game. I saw the UConn/Kentucky game... when UConn is focused, they are too deep and talented to be beaten. What trips UConn up is when they get a big lead... their focus waivers and they let the lead slip. UConn won't lose their focus, because Washington will stay in their face... so UConn will win this one.
George Mason/Wichita State: I'm surprised that George Mason beat MSU (didn't see that game)... but I did see most of the GM/UNC game and am not surprised George Mason won. GM's defense was amazing... but I kept expecting them to not be able to score--then they passed it inside, or got to the line, or hit a long three... and they kept scoring. It was amazing! I have not seen Wichita, but if they can stop GM from scoring, they'll win. I am, however, taking George Mason in this one, if only because they've beaten both MSU and UNC... so Wichita should be easy by comparison.
UConn/George Mason: It almost doesn't matter who wins the GM/Wich St game because the UConn/Wash winner will be better than both teams. Look for UConn to advance.
Minneapolis
Villanova/Boston College: Villanova has yet to impress me. Boston College I haven't seen in this tourney... but I've seen them before this season. They DO impress me. Craig Smith, in particular, impressed me. Boston College too big and strong... and out-muscle the smaller Nova line-up. BC in this one.
Florida/Georgetown: I think this is an interesting match-up because I don't think either team (Florida playing S. Alabama then Wisconsin-Milwaukee AND Georgetown playing Northern Iowa and Ohio State) has really been tested. Florida in particular looks like they're not even really trying. Georgetown beat a supremely over-rated Ohio State team... but I don't think they're athletic enough to beat this Florida team. I've got Florida.
BC/Florida: Even though Florida is talented, I think BC is more talented. I've got BC... Yes, it's that simple. If Nova beats BC, I think THEY beat Florida. Basically, I feel that the winner of the Nova/BC game is better than the Florida/GTown winner and will then be headed to the Final Four.
Saturday afternoon, I received a phone call from the company that manages my apartment building. I didn't answer because I didn't recognize the number. The person who called left a message about how someone was interested in seeing my apartment, and would it be possible to come up Sunday at 1. As such, I spent much of Saturday cleaning, packing, and moving things around in my apartment. I ended up calling the leasing agent back and the woman cancelled on him--so no viewing of the apartment Sunday--but I think that scare was exactly what I needed to get my move kick-started.
I've got more boxes than I know what to do with... I've got stuff all over the place... yet my apartment looks cleaner than it has in a year or more. There was just too much stuff in this apartment for the space. And I fear the same thing will happen when I move into Chelsey's. For just her stuff, her apartment is huge... but, for both of us, I fear her apartment is not going to be large enough. We'll have five months of "uncomfortable" living until we can find an apartment big enough for both of us. And I am slightly annoyed by the thought that I'm just going to have to pack everything up again in about four months... especially considering that it's going to take me probably a good couple of weeks before I'm going to feel comfortable with all my loot in her place. As such, we're talking about a three month period where I have my stuff at Chelsey's and I feel comfortable with where everything is. Oh of course it's worth it. Yeah Chelsey's!
SPORTS Brackets Are Busted: The Dust Settles On Rounds One And Two
This past weekend was the first weekend of "March Madness." There are but sixteen teams left... and those teams are sweet. Cheesy? I can never tell.
Regardless, I was fortunate enough to have basketball on this weekend whilst packing and cleaning. You know what's coming... a break-down of what I think will happen in the games next weekend. Let's take a look at the brackets!
Atlanta
Duke/LSU: I have to admit two things about this game--1) Even though I saw Duke in the regular season and their conference tournament, I haven't seen Duke in this tourney and; 2) I'm kind of a Duke fan. I like Duke. I've liked Duke since I was young. I like Coach Krzyzewski... and have liked Duke because of him ever since I can remember. I saw some of the LSU/Texas A&M game... and LSU is lucky to be here. Even though I don't think Duke is strong enough to make it all the way, I'll take Duke here.
West Virginia/Texas: I have to admit something else--I am a West Virginia fan. I started following this team in last year's NCAA's... and have rooted for them all season. I'm taking W. Virginia... for no other reason than I'm rooting for a team of (basically) white guys.
Duke/West Virginia: If West Virginia is hitting their threes--they're hard to beat. Same for Duke. If this is actually the match-up (warning: Wussing out ahead!), I'm not going to care who wins... I like both teams. With West Virginia's paint scoring in question, however, I'll take Duke.
Oakland
Memphis/Bradley: I have yet to be impressed by Memphis. But they're deep. And three things will bring your team deep in the NCAAs every year--1) Great/Consistent/Smart guard play; 2) Consistent threes; 3) Deep benches. Memphis should, unfortunately, handle Bradley here... too bad for the underdogs from Peoria (O'Bryant really impressed).
Gonzaga/UCLA: This might be the best match-up of the sweet sixteen. I saw Gonzaga beat Indiana pretty much sans Adam Morrison. Granted, I don't think Indiana is all that great, but it proved to everyone that Gonzaga can win without Morrison scoring a billion points. Unfortunately for them, I think UCLA is too talented--top to bottom--to be beaten. I've got UCLA.
Memphis/UCLA: Memphis is deep, but UCLA is too... plus UCLA will hit more threes, and should outlast Memphis. UCLA ends up where they seem to belong--the Final Four.
Washington D.C.
UConn/Washington: I have to admit that I don't want to root for Washington because they beat my Fightin' Illini. However, Washington clawed their way back in that game and that will be important against UConn. UConn will go up big in this game, but Washington won't go away. Unfortunately for Washington (and as evident by the UConn game Sunday), UConn will outlast them. UConn will win this game. I saw the UConn/Kentucky game... when UConn is focused, they are too deep and talented to be beaten. What trips UConn up is when they get a big lead... their focus waivers and they let the lead slip. UConn won't lose their focus, because Washington will stay in their face... so UConn will win this one.
George Mason/Wichita State: I'm surprised that George Mason beat MSU (didn't see that game)... but I did see most of the GM/UNC game and am not surprised George Mason won. GM's defense was amazing... but I kept expecting them to not be able to score--then they passed it inside, or got to the line, or hit a long three... and they kept scoring. It was amazing! I have not seen Wichita, but if they can stop GM from scoring, they'll win. I am, however, taking George Mason in this one, if only because they've beaten both MSU and UNC... so Wichita should be easy by comparison.
UConn/George Mason: It almost doesn't matter who wins the GM/Wich St game because the UConn/Wash winner will be better than both teams. Look for UConn to advance.
Minneapolis
Villanova/Boston College: Villanova has yet to impress me. Boston College I haven't seen in this tourney... but I've seen them before this season. They DO impress me. Craig Smith, in particular, impressed me. Boston College too big and strong... and out-muscle the smaller Nova line-up. BC in this one.
Florida/Georgetown: I think this is an interesting match-up because I don't think either team (Florida playing S. Alabama then Wisconsin-Milwaukee AND Georgetown playing Northern Iowa and Ohio State) has really been tested. Florida in particular looks like they're not even really trying. Georgetown beat a supremely over-rated Ohio State team... but I don't think they're athletic enough to beat this Florida team. I've got Florida.
BC/Florida: Even though Florida is talented, I think BC is more talented. I've got BC... Yes, it's that simple. If Nova beats BC, I think THEY beat Florida. Basically, I feel that the winner of the Nova/BC game is better than the Florida/GTown winner and will then be headed to the Final Four.
Friday, March 17, 2006
PERSONAL Happy Saint Patrick's Day... Time To Pretend YOU Are Irish
It's here again, kiddies: Saint Patrick's Day. If you know me, you know that I love this holiday as much as I hate those who bastardize it. By "those", I mean the people who celebrate St. Patrick's Day as if all it means to be Irish is to be drunk and wear green. Those people don't even know who St. Patrick is and, probably if asked, wouldn't even know with which religion St. Patrick is affiliated. For those people, a refresher: St. Patrick is the man whose legend grew because he supposedly chased the snakes from Ireland. While the idea of snakes in Ireland is confusing (maybe they just had a snake problem?)... "snakes" probably refers to Druids or some other religious sect whose symbol was a snake or serpent. Regardless of who it was, we are most probably talking about someone who became a Saint because he cleared Ireland of religious opposition so that Irish Catholicism could flourish. It can not be emphasized enough that this holiday, today, is not just an Irish holiday... it is specifically an Irish-Catholic holiday.
But this is a rant you've heard from me before. I'm going to take a different stance this year. For years, I've been pissed that people pretend to celebrate my heritage by getting shit-faced drunk and wearing shirts that instruct everyone to kiss them. But not this year... this year I'm going to try to take pleasure in the thought that for one day of the year... everyone wishes they had my sideburns. Or, at least, wishes their grandparents had large ears and told lengthy stories where they just talked on and on. Or wishes their grandfather told really long jokes whose punch-line came after such a confusing twist and turn-filled ride that you have no idea why it was funny... or even where he started. No? Everyone wishes that their parents made them go to church every Sunday when they were young, when all they wanted to do was go to Nate's and play football. Not it? Okay... on one day of the year, everyone wishes their great-grandparents faced signs or job postings that would actually be bold enough to say "No Irish Need Apply"... or wishes their great-great-great-grandparents had to leave their home and travel by the millions to America to survive a famine and British oppression... or they wish that their great-great-grandparents were the first poor, slum-living, spit-on, intensely-hated people in America, or wish they were descendents of the first "Americans" to enjoy the blunt end of racism. I still didn't get it? Okay okay okay... I've got it now... for one day of the year, everyone in this country wishes they were Irish. And no other ethnicity in this country can say that about any other day of the year. (Positivity!)
And why shouldn't everyone in America want to be Irish? The Irish built this country: It's speculated that as many as one-third of the American revolutionary war force were Irish; The "father" of the Navy in the U.S.--John Barry--was from Ireland; the man who designed the White House--James Hoban--was Irish, and he designed the White House after the Leinster House of Dublin, and he was the man who had it painted white after the British tried to burn it down in 1812; Andrew Jackson was a first generation American from Scotch-Irish decent... and his followers (the primarily Irish Jackson Democrats) coined the phrase Manifest Destiny (John L. O'Sullivan... look it up); AND THEN the Irish built the Erie Canal and the railroads which would meet up with the western-Chinese railroads... just to make sure that everyone could Manifest their own Destiny.
I'm fortunate enough to live in Chicago, a very Irish city... so there are actually Irish people, from Ireland, who live here. As such, I can take comfort in KNOWING that actual Irish are celebrating in this city, and I can pretend that everyone else I see (people who are obviously not Irish), has an Irish friend who has educated them on what today is all about. It's not just about Green Beer... It's about me being angry and you being forced to read about it. No, that's not it. I'm making this year, I'm making today, about Inclusion... anyone who wants to be Irish like me today is welcome to join me in a pub to hear a story about my grandfather, which I'll be sure to make as long and boring as his stories (sorry Grandpa... don't be mad from Heaven!).
(Word to the Wise... Green Beer looks like Green Kool-Aid. If you drink Green Beer with a full recognition that it is--in fact--green, you'll be disappointed. Green Kool-Aid tastes about 80,000 times better. I actually really want some Green Kool-Aid right now. Mmm...)
My family's from County Kerry... where's your Irish-family from? *points to Comments section*
It's here again, kiddies: Saint Patrick's Day. If you know me, you know that I love this holiday as much as I hate those who bastardize it. By "those", I mean the people who celebrate St. Patrick's Day as if all it means to be Irish is to be drunk and wear green. Those people don't even know who St. Patrick is and, probably if asked, wouldn't even know with which religion St. Patrick is affiliated. For those people, a refresher: St. Patrick is the man whose legend grew because he supposedly chased the snakes from Ireland. While the idea of snakes in Ireland is confusing (maybe they just had a snake problem?)... "snakes" probably refers to Druids or some other religious sect whose symbol was a snake or serpent. Regardless of who it was, we are most probably talking about someone who became a Saint because he cleared Ireland of religious opposition so that Irish Catholicism could flourish. It can not be emphasized enough that this holiday, today, is not just an Irish holiday... it is specifically an Irish-Catholic holiday.
But this is a rant you've heard from me before. I'm going to take a different stance this year. For years, I've been pissed that people pretend to celebrate my heritage by getting shit-faced drunk and wearing shirts that instruct everyone to kiss them. But not this year... this year I'm going to try to take pleasure in the thought that for one day of the year... everyone wishes they had my sideburns. Or, at least, wishes their grandparents had large ears and told lengthy stories where they just talked on and on. Or wishes their grandfather told really long jokes whose punch-line came after such a confusing twist and turn-filled ride that you have no idea why it was funny... or even where he started. No? Everyone wishes that their parents made them go to church every Sunday when they were young, when all they wanted to do was go to Nate's and play football. Not it? Okay... on one day of the year, everyone wishes their great-grandparents faced signs or job postings that would actually be bold enough to say "No Irish Need Apply"... or wishes their great-great-great-grandparents had to leave their home and travel by the millions to America to survive a famine and British oppression... or they wish that their great-great-grandparents were the first poor, slum-living, spit-on, intensely-hated people in America, or wish they were descendents of the first "Americans" to enjoy the blunt end of racism. I still didn't get it? Okay okay okay... I've got it now... for one day of the year, everyone in this country wishes they were Irish. And no other ethnicity in this country can say that about any other day of the year. (Positivity!)
And why shouldn't everyone in America want to be Irish? The Irish built this country: It's speculated that as many as one-third of the American revolutionary war force were Irish; The "father" of the Navy in the U.S.--John Barry--was from Ireland; the man who designed the White House--James Hoban--was Irish, and he designed the White House after the Leinster House of Dublin, and he was the man who had it painted white after the British tried to burn it down in 1812; Andrew Jackson was a first generation American from Scotch-Irish decent... and his followers (the primarily Irish Jackson Democrats) coined the phrase Manifest Destiny (John L. O'Sullivan... look it up); AND THEN the Irish built the Erie Canal and the railroads which would meet up with the western-Chinese railroads... just to make sure that everyone could Manifest their own Destiny.
I'm fortunate enough to live in Chicago, a very Irish city... so there are actually Irish people, from Ireland, who live here. As such, I can take comfort in KNOWING that actual Irish are celebrating in this city, and I can pretend that everyone else I see (people who are obviously not Irish), has an Irish friend who has educated them on what today is all about. It's not just about Green Beer... It's about me being angry and you being forced to read about it. No, that's not it. I'm making this year, I'm making today, about Inclusion... anyone who wants to be Irish like me today is welcome to join me in a pub to hear a story about my grandfather, which I'll be sure to make as long and boring as his stories (sorry Grandpa... don't be mad from Heaven!).
(Word to the Wise... Green Beer looks like Green Kool-Aid. If you drink Green Beer with a full recognition that it is--in fact--green, you'll be disappointed. Green Kool-Aid tastes about 80,000 times better. I actually really want some Green Kool-Aid right now. Mmm...)
My family's from County Kerry... where's your Irish-family from? *points to Comments section*
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
PERSONAL Beware The Ides Of March... Again
It seems like every year I say the same thing, but this year is different. This year, I really do have to be wary of the middle of March. At the end of March, I'll be moving out of my home for the past two and a half years--and into Chelsey's apartment. The move makes financial sense and emotional sense... and I'm not really having problems with it mentally. What I'm having trouble with is packing stuff up and moving it. Chelsey and I are still basically using my apartment as our home... and so it's difficult to pack things up while we're still using them. I've been practically freaking out all month, trying to figure out what I can take to Chelsey's... and how I was going to get everything moved--with Chelsey working so much--basically by myself. As such, things like blogging have been put to the wayside as I focus my time and energy on packing things and throwing stuff away, etc. After two and a half years (the longest I've ever lived by myself), things build up... and there are all sorts of things that are hidden or tucked away in my apartment which I now have to go through. Two and a half years... as long as I've been in this city... this has been my home. Beyond the difficulty of packing, the realization that I'm moving someplace new in this city is the hardest part for me. Probably because I didn't think I'd live here that long... in all honesty, I thought I'd try this--fail--and have to figure something else out within a year (two tops). But I'm here, in Chicago... and this is home.
PERSONAL Two Years
Monday, March 13, marked the two year anniversary of my site meter. Two years and over eighteen thousand hits later... and I'm still bitching about life. And someone out there is still bored enough to read it. Or still cares enough to read it. And that is truly humbling. Thank you. Thank you all.
PERSONAL Let's Go Red Wings!
About two months ago, Chelsey and I were looking online at Blackhawks tickets. I have never been to an NHL game before and, with the Blackhawks tickets now only $10 for nose-bleed seats, I figured this year was the time to do it. So I mentioned it to Chelsey and we started looking at tickets online. We saw that the Hawks were playing my beloved Wings in Mid-March... so we looked for tickets. The first thing I did was look at the "best available" seats, just because it lets you. When I looked at "best available," there were two tickets available in the 108 section, on one of the corners. The seats were very near the ice. Like, oh I don't know, ROW 6!!! I didn't want to put up the money for it... but Chelsey asked how many times we thought we'd be going to hockey games and, for a once a year kind of thing, it would be worth it. So we did it! The game was this past Sunday night. Chelsey and I went to the Hawks/Wings game via the CTA... which was actually pretty amazing. On Hawks or Bulls game nights, the 19 bus is the United Center express. It goes from downtown's El stops directly to the United Center... and was a nice, clean bus. But enough about mass transit, it was an amazing game! Detroit won 5-3--Datsyuk and Schneider each with a goal and two assists. Detroit scored two minutes into the game and had scored three goals by seven minutes in... so Chelsey and I thought it was going to be a blow-out! But the Hawks pulled Khabibulin after the third goal and, down 3-0 with the backup goalie in the game, the Blackhawks calmed down. Chelsey and I were lucky because our section of the crowd seemed to be only Wings fans. The "Let's Go Red Wings" chant was actually louder than "Let's Go Blackhawks." The Chicago fans, ever classy, ended up pulling out "Detroit still sucks" in the second period (which they stole from Packers fans who chant "Bears still suck" whenever they play, and the Bears win). Regardless, the game was an awesome experience... and Chelsey and I loved every second of it (especially the part when I yelled "Nice shot Shanny" to Brendan Shanahan and then pretended he had heard me. What do you mean pretended? He heard me... please?).
PERSONAL I'm A Terrible Person... WEEE!!!!
Tuesday afternoon, when I was walking back from lunch with Chelsey, a random girl tried to stop me. Here is the conversation.
Random Girl: "Hey, how's it going?"
Me: "Hey."
RG: "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Me: "Nope."
I noticed that she had the same wind breaker that someone else on the corner was wearing. That person's jacket said something like "Save the Starving Children from a horrible death in the third world you Middle-Class Heartless bastard." Something like that... I think it was more succinct on the jackets, though. Regardless, even if she had identified herself as someone from the "Give money to Children" fund, I wouldn't have listened to her pitch. I don't care who you are or what you're doing... when I'm on the streets of Chicago, do NOT try to stop me to talk to me. I, frankly, don't care. When I'm walking through the downtown, on a weekday at lunch, there are much more important (richer) looking people you should be hitting up for money. What about my baseball hat and "Qudoba" cup says to you, "Hey, this guy must have enough money to help children?" or whatever. Monday night, actually, I was saying good-bye to Katy and her family and some black man came up to all of us, but said "Excuse me, sir?" Why ask me? Because he figured by asking me in front of women I wouldn't want to loose face and would, in fact, give him money. What he didn't take into account is that: 1) I don't have a job and don't have money and; 2) I wasn't trying to impress any of those women. The guy actually said "excuse me, sir" about five times... before I crossed the street and left him. I thought he was going to keep following me until I acknowledged him... but that would have just made me mad. As I've gone longer and longer without a job... I become more angry towards people asking me for money. Is it because I'm white... is that why you think I've got money? Is it because I'm a balding white male... so I must be a certain age, with extra cash on me and job security? That prejudice makes me angry... so, no... I don't care what you're asking me money for (which is the only reason people stop you on the street) I don't have money for you, so get the phuk away from me. (Angry! hooray!)
It seems like every year I say the same thing, but this year is different. This year, I really do have to be wary of the middle of March. At the end of March, I'll be moving out of my home for the past two and a half years--and into Chelsey's apartment. The move makes financial sense and emotional sense... and I'm not really having problems with it mentally. What I'm having trouble with is packing stuff up and moving it. Chelsey and I are still basically using my apartment as our home... and so it's difficult to pack things up while we're still using them. I've been practically freaking out all month, trying to figure out what I can take to Chelsey's... and how I was going to get everything moved--with Chelsey working so much--basically by myself. As such, things like blogging have been put to the wayside as I focus my time and energy on packing things and throwing stuff away, etc. After two and a half years (the longest I've ever lived by myself), things build up... and there are all sorts of things that are hidden or tucked away in my apartment which I now have to go through. Two and a half years... as long as I've been in this city... this has been my home. Beyond the difficulty of packing, the realization that I'm moving someplace new in this city is the hardest part for me. Probably because I didn't think I'd live here that long... in all honesty, I thought I'd try this--fail--and have to figure something else out within a year (two tops). But I'm here, in Chicago... and this is home.
PERSONAL Two Years
Monday, March 13, marked the two year anniversary of my site meter. Two years and over eighteen thousand hits later... and I'm still bitching about life. And someone out there is still bored enough to read it. Or still cares enough to read it. And that is truly humbling. Thank you. Thank you all.
PERSONAL Let's Go Red Wings!
About two months ago, Chelsey and I were looking online at Blackhawks tickets. I have never been to an NHL game before and, with the Blackhawks tickets now only $10 for nose-bleed seats, I figured this year was the time to do it. So I mentioned it to Chelsey and we started looking at tickets online. We saw that the Hawks were playing my beloved Wings in Mid-March... so we looked for tickets. The first thing I did was look at the "best available" seats, just because it lets you. When I looked at "best available," there were two tickets available in the 108 section, on one of the corners. The seats were very near the ice. Like, oh I don't know, ROW 6!!! I didn't want to put up the money for it... but Chelsey asked how many times we thought we'd be going to hockey games and, for a once a year kind of thing, it would be worth it. So we did it! The game was this past Sunday night. Chelsey and I went to the Hawks/Wings game via the CTA... which was actually pretty amazing. On Hawks or Bulls game nights, the 19 bus is the United Center express. It goes from downtown's El stops directly to the United Center... and was a nice, clean bus. But enough about mass transit, it was an amazing game! Detroit won 5-3--Datsyuk and Schneider each with a goal and two assists. Detroit scored two minutes into the game and had scored three goals by seven minutes in... so Chelsey and I thought it was going to be a blow-out! But the Hawks pulled Khabibulin after the third goal and, down 3-0 with the backup goalie in the game, the Blackhawks calmed down. Chelsey and I were lucky because our section of the crowd seemed to be only Wings fans. The "Let's Go Red Wings" chant was actually louder than "Let's Go Blackhawks." The Chicago fans, ever classy, ended up pulling out "Detroit still sucks" in the second period (which they stole from Packers fans who chant "Bears still suck" whenever they play, and the Bears win). Regardless, the game was an awesome experience... and Chelsey and I loved every second of it (especially the part when I yelled "Nice shot Shanny" to Brendan Shanahan and then pretended he had heard me. What do you mean pretended? He heard me... please?).
PERSONAL I'm A Terrible Person... WEEE!!!!
Tuesday afternoon, when I was walking back from lunch with Chelsey, a random girl tried to stop me. Here is the conversation.
Random Girl: "Hey, how's it going?"
Me: "Hey."
RG: "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Me: "Nope."
I noticed that she had the same wind breaker that someone else on the corner was wearing. That person's jacket said something like "Save the Starving Children from a horrible death in the third world you Middle-Class Heartless bastard." Something like that... I think it was more succinct on the jackets, though. Regardless, even if she had identified herself as someone from the "Give money to Children" fund, I wouldn't have listened to her pitch. I don't care who you are or what you're doing... when I'm on the streets of Chicago, do NOT try to stop me to talk to me. I, frankly, don't care. When I'm walking through the downtown, on a weekday at lunch, there are much more important (richer) looking people you should be hitting up for money. What about my baseball hat and "Qudoba" cup says to you, "Hey, this guy must have enough money to help children?" or whatever. Monday night, actually, I was saying good-bye to Katy and her family and some black man came up to all of us, but said "Excuse me, sir?" Why ask me? Because he figured by asking me in front of women I wouldn't want to loose face and would, in fact, give him money. What he didn't take into account is that: 1) I don't have a job and don't have money and; 2) I wasn't trying to impress any of those women. The guy actually said "excuse me, sir" about five times... before I crossed the street and left him. I thought he was going to keep following me until I acknowledged him... but that would have just made me mad. As I've gone longer and longer without a job... I become more angry towards people asking me for money. Is it because I'm white... is that why you think I've got money? Is it because I'm a balding white male... so I must be a certain age, with extra cash on me and job security? That prejudice makes me angry... so, no... I don't care what you're asking me money for (which is the only reason people stop you on the street) I don't have money for you, so get the phuk away from me. (Angry! hooray!)
Saturday, March 11, 2006
PERSONAL (Kind of) In Honor of 3/11
Here's a video from two of the guys in my Conservatory class--Fernando and Thomas. This is actually the start of our Conservatory show... and is what happens when two guys are hangin out before class. I was there when they came up with the idea for it. They're funny.
Here's a video from two of the guys in my Conservatory class--Fernando and Thomas. This is actually the start of our Conservatory show... and is what happens when two guys are hangin out before class. I was there when they came up with the idea for it. They're funny.
PERSONAL Second Chances
"Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime's work, but it's worth the effort"--Mr. Rogers
First of all, Miss me? Sorry about the hiatus. I'll get into that later (a later post).
Secondly, as we all know, I am currently jobless. In addition to my own laziness, one of the biggest problems I've been having is figuring out what I can/should do. Normally, the road a person would take at this point is to either: a) take whatever job comes along and hope it's something they're good at (not my style); or b) figure out what they want to do by going to a professional. Unfortunately for me, the professional to which I refer is a career counselor. I say it's unfortunate because the only career counselor I know is my mother. When I was in high school, my mother practically forced me to talk to her about my potential career possibilities. Additionally, because her job is to figure out people's interests and the life-long careers they should pursue, for most of my life I've heard that the chances of someone "making it" in acting is miniscule. I always took that "someone" to mean me. And, in all honesty, my mom meant "me" when she was talking about how hard it would be to make a living by acting. So for the past ten years or so, I've heard from her that I need to have a "career" to make money (which she always thought should be in math, science, or--more recently--computers) and then I could do acting whenever I had free time. I always resented that plan because I felt like she hadn't even given me a fair chance to make a living acting, as if she didn't think I was talented enough to get paid to act... and that her plan would have me only performing in shitty community theatre and only during the summer months. I basically saw myself like the community members of Big Rapids who have real careers and then, once a year, think that being the lead in Guys and Dolls in BR on the Charter Academy stage (which seats a couple hundred... maybe) makes them a big deal.
Regardless, in high school I was semi-forced to take a couple of personality tests and--probably out of spite--wasn't really interested in my results. I suppose that was putting it lightly. I effectively denied everything that the tests had concluded about me and, as such, my mom had called her interpretation with me of my results the "biggest failure" of her professional career. Nice to hear from your mother that you're her biggest failure, I know... but my family's honest, what can I say?
So now we fast forward to two weeks ago when I took those two personal assessment tests again: The MBTI and the Strong Interest. This time, it was my idea to take the tests (still trying to figure out where I should get a job). When I mentioned the idea to my mom, she seemed very hesitant to help. "I could have Carol [a co-worker] do the interpretation for you" she would say. "No mom... I want you to do it," I replied. I did NOT want to be the only failure of my mother's professional career (and I didn't want to keep hearing about it, either). My mom did, in fact, agree to interpret my results with me... and waited until she and my dad spent a few days in Chicago to see my Conservatory show.
Are you interested in the results? No? Then why are you reading this? If you are interested in the results, I'll do my best to explain what took my mom and I the better part of a day to go over. Let's start with the MBTI... which is a personality test. It is a 91 question test whose questions focus on personal preferences... and is supposed to be a good indicator of someone's true personality. A person's results come as four letters, each letter is on a scale and compared to the other side of the scale (which is the other possible letter). That didn't make sense... hold on. Okay. Your first letter is either E or I which means Extrovert or Introvert and means where you focus of your attention (make more sense?). The second letter is S or N meaning Sensing or Intuition--the way you take in information. Third letter could be a T or an F: Thinking or Feeling--how you make decisions. Last letter being J or P: Judging or Perceiving--how you deal with the world.
Okay, some of those are obvious and some are not so obvious (because the true meaning of the letter spectrum is not necessarily the definition of the words). But perhaps when I explain my results it will make more sense. So, according to the MBTI, I am an INTJ. Let's start at the end and work forward. The "J" at the end refers to "judging." The shortest version of what this means is that I prefer to set goals, work first (play later), and plan ahead. The opposite end of the spectrum (the "P") are people who play first, people who leave all their options open, and people who see deadlines as elastic rather than concrete. That is not me. I'm all about making a plan and sticking to it. In essence, I'm not someone who is very comfortable adapting to new situations. I'm not saying I'm bad at improv... but it IS working against my grain, rather than with it.
Next, I am a "T" (Thinker) and not an "F" (Feeler). This means that I value logic, step back from problems to analyze impartially, and naturally see flaws--tending to be critical. The "F" (feeler) would consider effects on other people first, naturally likes to please others, and believe that all feelings are valid (no matter how illogical). It should be noted that, because of the way my "letters" relate to each other, this is the side of myself that people see. So this thinker revelation should come as a surprise to no one. It should also be noted that my range on this spectrum isn't huge... I've been trying to pay more attention to people's feelings in and since college. While that won't trump logic in my head, I like to now add it to my computations. That sounds heartless... isn't that cool? No? Moving on then.
The next category is the difference between "Sensors" and "Intuitives." This category actually flipped since the last time I took the test but, in all honesty, the first test was probably prone to inaccuracy. Regardless, this is my closest category. The new version of the test says that I'm Intuitive--like ideas and concepts for their own sake, like learning news skills, use metaphors and analogies. This is as opposed to Sensors who value common sense, talk in specifics, and are present-oriented. Those who know me, clearly see that I have traits of both. That's the thing about this test... it understands that people can function in various ways. But my mom put it best when she asked me to sign my name with both hands. "You prefer your right hand, but can still function with the left." That's what this test shows. I am more comfortable talking in analogies and metaphors, but have no problem functioning in an environment that requires me to give step-by-step instructions. Get it?
Finally, and perhaps most surprisingly to you, I am an Introvert. There can be no question about this... it is the truth. Anyone who thinks I'm an Extrovert must now unlearn what they have learned. I know I come across as an extrovert... I even had someone (at the Second City, of all places) say they wished they were as "extroverted as you [meaning me]." Here's the kicker--and something I'll bitch about whenever I get the chance--I feel that introverts aren't really allowed to be introverted in this society. And it all starts in school. Schools are geared towards extroverts-- the people who work well with others, who speak their way through problems, and who like being surrounded by peers. As such, introverts either learn to be extroverted to survive or are social outcasts in school. I did the former. It's only going to get worse for us introverts, too. My dad and I talk about this all the time--universities might be moving towards "problem based learning" wherein a problem is presented to the class and the class then breaks up into groups to solve the problem themselves (the instructors only guide, no answers are given). This sounds like an okay way to attack a realistic job-like learning environment, right? The only problem being that the extroverts are the ones doing all the talking--talking out their ideas while trying to figure them out. The instructors see the extroverts talking and mistake them for the leaders of the group... not even bothering to listen to the tripe they're saying. The loudest barking dog isn't always saying anything, know what I mean?
Anyway, I'm an introvert. I think before I act, I'm energized by spending time alone, and I prefer to listen rather than talk. I even noticed it the last party I went to. Sure I was talking a lot... but I was asking people questions so that I could listen to what they have to say. It comes across as extroverted, maybe, but only if you don't know what I'm doing. So, at parties, I'm loud and I'm always trying get people talking. Think of it this way, in the same way that I treat the women that I like (by appearing overly interested), perhaps I overcompensate for my introversion by appearing overly extroverted. I think that one of the reasons I come across like an ass to most people who don't know me (and who ask me to go out and get a drink or whatever) is that spending time with people is exhausting. And the last thing I want to do after a long day is go out and have to entertain everyone. Granted that's not what people say they want or even think they want from me... but I have my own issues--and always believe that people I don't know very well just want me around because I entertain them.
Now we're getting into issues that I have that have nothing to do with this test. Where was I? Oh! I was done explaining the various bits. So, yes, I'm an INTJ... and I'm 2-3% of the American population. As such, if you know 100 people, I'm like one or two other people you know. And the point of this test was to let me know what career I'd be good at (or would enjoy doing). So here are some of the careers that were mentioned for people with my personality:
Scientist; Computer Systems Analyst; Computer Programmer; Teacher--University; Attorney--Litigator/Commercial; Judge; Architect; Psychologist; Psychiatrist; Inventor; Astronomer; News Analyst; Engineer; Writer/Editor; and Mathematician.
You'll notice the heavy lean towards math, science, and computers. What can I say? My mom's good at her job. Regardless, I now have reasons why these careers would be satisfying for me that aren't limited to "You're good at it." "I'm good at a lot of stuff," I'd always respond, "Does that mean I should do everything?" No, it doesn't.
I'm getting ahead of myself... notice a few interesting things--University Teacher pops up and so do attorney and judge. Writer and editor surprises no one, except maybe me... because I didn't know there was really a personality type for writing. Notice "Inventor"... I don't even know what that actually means anymore. Does that mean I should be Thomas Edison? Can people be "Inventors" for their jobs? I didn't even think that was possible. Also notice Psychologist... which we'll revisit later.
I also took the Strong Interest Inventory. This 290-question juggernaut was actually a lot of fun to take. This test supposedly shows people what they would like doing (what jobs they have a strong interest in) based on personal preferences. You get a scale from Strongly Agree (or Strongly Like) to Strongly Disagree (or Strongly Dislike), and my mom says that this test's results may change dramatically based on experiences. The results of this exam are based on thousands of people from various vocations who have worked in their careers for at least three years and who have all claimed that they are "satisfied" with their current job. Basically, people with careers they like have answered THIS way... now let's see which careers your answers are closest to--that's this test, get it?
Additionally, it should be mentioned that the questions on this test are based on what interests you... not what you think you're good at, not what you're qualified to do, not what you've studied--just what you're interested in. This test, in no means, indicates that I would be good at whatever job it tells me I'm interested in--it just tells me what kinds of careers match my particular interests. It could tell me that I'm interested in, say, athletics... but that doesn't mean I could beat your grandmother at golf. I can't. Your nana is good.
My results to this test point towards my enjoying artistic or investigative careers the most--including my top five interest areas: 1. Performing Arts; 2. Writing and Mass Communication; 3. Mathematics (damn!); 4. Athletics (ha!); and 5. Computer Hardware and Electronics. I think athletics don't mean playing... but rather something else involving athletics, like me sitting and watching them. Oh, that reminds me, this test doesn't say I have to do any of this as my career... but only points towards my interests. The results actually say that, if you can't satisfy your favorite interests in your career, you should do extra-curricular activities to satisfy them. Make sense?
Now, what you're all waiting for... the top ten occupations I am subconsciously interested in, according to this test, are as follows:
10.) Computer Scientist; 9.) Physicist; 8.) Network Administrator; 7.) Biologist; 6.) R&D Manager; 5.) Mathematician; 4.) Technical Support Specialist; 3.) Psychologist [told you it'd come up again]; 2.) Musician and....
1.) University Professor.
Sometimes you're the last to know what it seems like everyone else already knows. In light of these results, I now have a new long-term goal (I'm a planner!). I will eventually go back to school to become a University professor... most probably of theatre or play-writing/writing. My short-term goal can now include getting whatever job I can (probably temping), which I can now honestly view as temporary. That was another problem I realized going through the results: up until now--without a long-term goal--I couldn't view any job as temporary. So I would look at jobs online and not be able to think about them as anything but permanent. But now something in my brain clicked... and I can think about jobs as just a job, because I've got a big-picture plan. And I've got piece of mind. For now.
Addendum: My mom emailed me after we went over the results and called this interpretation her "greatest success" because I was so interested in my results. My mom and I did, seriously, talk all Tuesday afternoon and into the evening. We caught up, talked about life and our family, and had a good time. She's a remarkable woman, my mother.
"Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime's work, but it's worth the effort"--Mr. Rogers
First of all, Miss me? Sorry about the hiatus. I'll get into that later (a later post).
Secondly, as we all know, I am currently jobless. In addition to my own laziness, one of the biggest problems I've been having is figuring out what I can/should do. Normally, the road a person would take at this point is to either: a) take whatever job comes along and hope it's something they're good at (not my style); or b) figure out what they want to do by going to a professional. Unfortunately for me, the professional to which I refer is a career counselor. I say it's unfortunate because the only career counselor I know is my mother. When I was in high school, my mother practically forced me to talk to her about my potential career possibilities. Additionally, because her job is to figure out people's interests and the life-long careers they should pursue, for most of my life I've heard that the chances of someone "making it" in acting is miniscule. I always took that "someone" to mean me. And, in all honesty, my mom meant "me" when she was talking about how hard it would be to make a living by acting. So for the past ten years or so, I've heard from her that I need to have a "career" to make money (which she always thought should be in math, science, or--more recently--computers) and then I could do acting whenever I had free time. I always resented that plan because I felt like she hadn't even given me a fair chance to make a living acting, as if she didn't think I was talented enough to get paid to act... and that her plan would have me only performing in shitty community theatre and only during the summer months. I basically saw myself like the community members of Big Rapids who have real careers and then, once a year, think that being the lead in Guys and Dolls in BR on the Charter Academy stage (which seats a couple hundred... maybe) makes them a big deal.
Regardless, in high school I was semi-forced to take a couple of personality tests and--probably out of spite--wasn't really interested in my results. I suppose that was putting it lightly. I effectively denied everything that the tests had concluded about me and, as such, my mom had called her interpretation with me of my results the "biggest failure" of her professional career. Nice to hear from your mother that you're her biggest failure, I know... but my family's honest, what can I say?
So now we fast forward to two weeks ago when I took those two personal assessment tests again: The MBTI and the Strong Interest. This time, it was my idea to take the tests (still trying to figure out where I should get a job). When I mentioned the idea to my mom, she seemed very hesitant to help. "I could have Carol [a co-worker] do the interpretation for you" she would say. "No mom... I want you to do it," I replied. I did NOT want to be the only failure of my mother's professional career (and I didn't want to keep hearing about it, either). My mom did, in fact, agree to interpret my results with me... and waited until she and my dad spent a few days in Chicago to see my Conservatory show.
Are you interested in the results? No? Then why are you reading this? If you are interested in the results, I'll do my best to explain what took my mom and I the better part of a day to go over. Let's start with the MBTI... which is a personality test. It is a 91 question test whose questions focus on personal preferences... and is supposed to be a good indicator of someone's true personality. A person's results come as four letters, each letter is on a scale and compared to the other side of the scale (which is the other possible letter). That didn't make sense... hold on. Okay. Your first letter is either E or I which means Extrovert or Introvert and means where you focus of your attention (make more sense?). The second letter is S or N meaning Sensing or Intuition--the way you take in information. Third letter could be a T or an F: Thinking or Feeling--how you make decisions. Last letter being J or P: Judging or Perceiving--how you deal with the world.
Okay, some of those are obvious and some are not so obvious (because the true meaning of the letter spectrum is not necessarily the definition of the words). But perhaps when I explain my results it will make more sense. So, according to the MBTI, I am an INTJ. Let's start at the end and work forward. The "J" at the end refers to "judging." The shortest version of what this means is that I prefer to set goals, work first (play later), and plan ahead. The opposite end of the spectrum (the "P") are people who play first, people who leave all their options open, and people who see deadlines as elastic rather than concrete. That is not me. I'm all about making a plan and sticking to it. In essence, I'm not someone who is very comfortable adapting to new situations. I'm not saying I'm bad at improv... but it IS working against my grain, rather than with it.
Next, I am a "T" (Thinker) and not an "F" (Feeler). This means that I value logic, step back from problems to analyze impartially, and naturally see flaws--tending to be critical. The "F" (feeler) would consider effects on other people first, naturally likes to please others, and believe that all feelings are valid (no matter how illogical). It should be noted that, because of the way my "letters" relate to each other, this is the side of myself that people see. So this thinker revelation should come as a surprise to no one. It should also be noted that my range on this spectrum isn't huge... I've been trying to pay more attention to people's feelings in and since college. While that won't trump logic in my head, I like to now add it to my computations. That sounds heartless... isn't that cool? No? Moving on then.
The next category is the difference between "Sensors" and "Intuitives." This category actually flipped since the last time I took the test but, in all honesty, the first test was probably prone to inaccuracy. Regardless, this is my closest category. The new version of the test says that I'm Intuitive--like ideas and concepts for their own sake, like learning news skills, use metaphors and analogies. This is as opposed to Sensors who value common sense, talk in specifics, and are present-oriented. Those who know me, clearly see that I have traits of both. That's the thing about this test... it understands that people can function in various ways. But my mom put it best when she asked me to sign my name with both hands. "You prefer your right hand, but can still function with the left." That's what this test shows. I am more comfortable talking in analogies and metaphors, but have no problem functioning in an environment that requires me to give step-by-step instructions. Get it?
Finally, and perhaps most surprisingly to you, I am an Introvert. There can be no question about this... it is the truth. Anyone who thinks I'm an Extrovert must now unlearn what they have learned. I know I come across as an extrovert... I even had someone (at the Second City, of all places) say they wished they were as "extroverted as you [meaning me]." Here's the kicker--and something I'll bitch about whenever I get the chance--I feel that introverts aren't really allowed to be introverted in this society. And it all starts in school. Schools are geared towards extroverts-- the people who work well with others, who speak their way through problems, and who like being surrounded by peers. As such, introverts either learn to be extroverted to survive or are social outcasts in school. I did the former. It's only going to get worse for us introverts, too. My dad and I talk about this all the time--universities might be moving towards "problem based learning" wherein a problem is presented to the class and the class then breaks up into groups to solve the problem themselves (the instructors only guide, no answers are given). This sounds like an okay way to attack a realistic job-like learning environment, right? The only problem being that the extroverts are the ones doing all the talking--talking out their ideas while trying to figure them out. The instructors see the extroverts talking and mistake them for the leaders of the group... not even bothering to listen to the tripe they're saying. The loudest barking dog isn't always saying anything, know what I mean?
Anyway, I'm an introvert. I think before I act, I'm energized by spending time alone, and I prefer to listen rather than talk. I even noticed it the last party I went to. Sure I was talking a lot... but I was asking people questions so that I could listen to what they have to say. It comes across as extroverted, maybe, but only if you don't know what I'm doing. So, at parties, I'm loud and I'm always trying get people talking. Think of it this way, in the same way that I treat the women that I like (by appearing overly interested), perhaps I overcompensate for my introversion by appearing overly extroverted. I think that one of the reasons I come across like an ass to most people who don't know me (and who ask me to go out and get a drink or whatever) is that spending time with people is exhausting. And the last thing I want to do after a long day is go out and have to entertain everyone. Granted that's not what people say they want or even think they want from me... but I have my own issues--and always believe that people I don't know very well just want me around because I entertain them.
Now we're getting into issues that I have that have nothing to do with this test. Where was I? Oh! I was done explaining the various bits. So, yes, I'm an INTJ... and I'm 2-3% of the American population. As such, if you know 100 people, I'm like one or two other people you know. And the point of this test was to let me know what career I'd be good at (or would enjoy doing). So here are some of the careers that were mentioned for people with my personality:
Scientist; Computer Systems Analyst; Computer Programmer; Teacher--University; Attorney--Litigator/Commercial; Judge; Architect; Psychologist; Psychiatrist; Inventor; Astronomer; News Analyst; Engineer; Writer/Editor; and Mathematician.
You'll notice the heavy lean towards math, science, and computers. What can I say? My mom's good at her job. Regardless, I now have reasons why these careers would be satisfying for me that aren't limited to "You're good at it." "I'm good at a lot of stuff," I'd always respond, "Does that mean I should do everything?" No, it doesn't.
I'm getting ahead of myself... notice a few interesting things--University Teacher pops up and so do attorney and judge. Writer and editor surprises no one, except maybe me... because I didn't know there was really a personality type for writing. Notice "Inventor"... I don't even know what that actually means anymore. Does that mean I should be Thomas Edison? Can people be "Inventors" for their jobs? I didn't even think that was possible. Also notice Psychologist... which we'll revisit later.
I also took the Strong Interest Inventory. This 290-question juggernaut was actually a lot of fun to take. This test supposedly shows people what they would like doing (what jobs they have a strong interest in) based on personal preferences. You get a scale from Strongly Agree (or Strongly Like) to Strongly Disagree (or Strongly Dislike), and my mom says that this test's results may change dramatically based on experiences. The results of this exam are based on thousands of people from various vocations who have worked in their careers for at least three years and who have all claimed that they are "satisfied" with their current job. Basically, people with careers they like have answered THIS way... now let's see which careers your answers are closest to--that's this test, get it?
Additionally, it should be mentioned that the questions on this test are based on what interests you... not what you think you're good at, not what you're qualified to do, not what you've studied--just what you're interested in. This test, in no means, indicates that I would be good at whatever job it tells me I'm interested in--it just tells me what kinds of careers match my particular interests. It could tell me that I'm interested in, say, athletics... but that doesn't mean I could beat your grandmother at golf. I can't. Your nana is good.
My results to this test point towards my enjoying artistic or investigative careers the most--including my top five interest areas: 1. Performing Arts; 2. Writing and Mass Communication; 3. Mathematics (damn!); 4. Athletics (ha!); and 5. Computer Hardware and Electronics. I think athletics don't mean playing... but rather something else involving athletics, like me sitting and watching them. Oh, that reminds me, this test doesn't say I have to do any of this as my career... but only points towards my interests. The results actually say that, if you can't satisfy your favorite interests in your career, you should do extra-curricular activities to satisfy them. Make sense?
Now, what you're all waiting for... the top ten occupations I am subconsciously interested in, according to this test, are as follows:
10.) Computer Scientist; 9.) Physicist; 8.) Network Administrator; 7.) Biologist; 6.) R&D Manager; 5.) Mathematician; 4.) Technical Support Specialist; 3.) Psychologist [told you it'd come up again]; 2.) Musician and....
1.) University Professor.
Sometimes you're the last to know what it seems like everyone else already knows. In light of these results, I now have a new long-term goal (I'm a planner!). I will eventually go back to school to become a University professor... most probably of theatre or play-writing/writing. My short-term goal can now include getting whatever job I can (probably temping), which I can now honestly view as temporary. That was another problem I realized going through the results: up until now--without a long-term goal--I couldn't view any job as temporary. So I would look at jobs online and not be able to think about them as anything but permanent. But now something in my brain clicked... and I can think about jobs as just a job, because I've got a big-picture plan. And I've got piece of mind. For now.
Addendum: My mom emailed me after we went over the results and called this interpretation her "greatest success" because I was so interested in my results. My mom and I did, seriously, talk all Tuesday afternoon and into the evening. We caught up, talked about life and our family, and had a good time. She's a remarkable woman, my mother.
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