Why being a professional "dog walker" would be a very lucrative career-
Well, it was move in day for me today, kiddies... and boy am I glad that I like dogs, because my apartment building is full of dogs. And not necessarily the nice, average lab-looking dog... oh no. My building is full of small yappy-type dogs or huge, f--koff eat-you-in-your-sleep dogs... nothing in between. And the yappy-type dogs would probably even try to eat you in your sleep... you'd wake up with a yappy-type dog gnawing on your ankle... "What are you doing, yappy-type dog?" you'd ask. "Ah... trying to chew the aura of your sock... look over there!" it would respond whilst running away. Clever little bastards, those yappy-type dogs.
So I moved in on a Saturday morning... which is apparently when everyone in the building takes their dogs for a walk. And you can't take the stairs from the first floor of my building... so everyone has to take the elevator. This made for some interesting trips up the elevator. Every trip was roughly the same: going into the elevator with a lamp, a chair, a mop, a bit of jam and a yappy-type dog gnawing off my sock. Either that, or: going into the elevator with a plunger, a microwave, toilet paper, canned toast and a huge, f--koff dog smelling my nuts (did I mention I was also carrying roasted almonds?).
But I like dogs... we understand each other because we're both only interested in food, humping people's legs, and chasing tail. And did I mention that we're both shallow? There's that too.
Hope you're having a crazy weekend :)