Saturday, May 14th
After getting tickets, we stopped and grabbed some food at a little bagel shop near the half-price ticket booths. I say grabbed because, again, it costs more money to stay in and eat than to carry something out. I grabbed a egg salad bagel with bacon on it because I figured eggs plus mayo would be one egg food that England couldn't screw up. It was quite good... but I ended up eating it, for the most part, on the Tube.
Ahh the London Underground... let's compare it to Chicago's very own CTA, shall we? As far as ease of transport goes, the CTA has the tube beat hands down. The CTA has very easy-to-understand lines denoted with colors (Green, Red, Brown, etc); whereas the Tube has all kinds of lines that intersect at points and, yes, have colors but are referred to by names which are not necessarily the names of a stop (which will tell you in Chicago which direction the train is going. For example, a Brown-line train headed north will say "Kimball" whereas a Brown-line train headed south will say "Loop"). Additionally, the Tube has "zones"... so that if you want to travel further out of London to zone 5 or 6, you have to pay more money. The CTA is one flat rate... whether you're going one stop or ten. I feel this stops people from hoping on the L just to go a block or two and forces those people to walk. In London, you might as well hop on the Tube to go two blocks... especially since we got a weekend pass, so it didn't cost us a thing extra. Furthermore!, you have to scan your pass when you enter AND when you exit from the Tube which makes absolutely no sense to me and just seems to slow one down after they leave the train. The CTA only has people scan their cards to get in. After that, all transfers and exits are made quickly and painlessly. And, not that I needed a bus, but I think one has to buy separate bus tickets to ride a London bus... whereas CTA passes work in all CTA transportation. So there!
But, least you think I'm a CTAer all the way, let me say that the trains on the Tube are about a million times cleaner than any CTA train (which I have a feeling are never ever cleaned). I could even tell that the Tube train had been reupholstered with the last year or two... which beats the CTAs 1970s look anyday.
All in all, however, I was very proud of my little CTA. I think it stands up to the best public transportation systems in the world... and fares quiet well (Fares! Punny!). The Underground, frankly, is more confusing than it needs to be... and the kicker, the reason why the CTA is actually SUPERIOR, to the whole Tube system will come later in the evening. Stay tuned for that.
Mike, Bishop, Kent, some lovely ladies, and myself all took the Tube to the South Kensington (I believe) stop to do some shopping. The Tube put us within walking distance of Harrods, that famous London Department Store. For those of you who have never heard of Harrods (read: Me before the trip)... here's a little story and then their motto: Pres. Reagan wanted and Indian elephant for some reason. He called Harrods. Harrods shipped in the elephant and delivered it to the White House lawn in a helicopter. Their motto: We can get anything for anyone from anywhere. And it's true. I was able to get an underage Southwest Asian hooker to ravage and a partial-birth aborted fetus to munch on... what a wonderful place. That was one of the grossest things I've ever written. Moving on... we went to the actual store in Knightsbridge, and struggled to find a public lue. For anyone doubting me, download the store guide and find me a men's toilet that does not involve walking through the delicious Lingerie section. I bet you can't either.
While in the store, we heard over the loud speakers that a certain DJ Yoda was going to be on the toy floor to spin some phat beats at 3:30. As it was nearing that time, the four of us guys went up to the fourth floor to check it out. After waiting for about twenty minutes with no DJ Yoda, we dejectedly left. You should have seen poor little Bishop's face... it was as if someone just told him they shot the Easter Bunny (which is a lie! The Easter Bunny is fine, kids. I promise... he's fine).
After Harrods, the four of us split up... with Bohne and Kent going... um, someplace? and Bishop and I headed to Baker Street. I had wanted to see the Sherlock Holmes Museum and Justin said he'd come with me. When we got there, six pounds was more than I wanted to pay to get in, so I got a nice pic of the outside, went into the free gift shop, and called it even. After that, Justin and I headed to Oxford Circus for some more shopping. We found ourselves in a nice little trendy store called Burton... where Bishop looked at shoes, and I pretended to have a worthwhile opinion. I think I actually did help him a little, being half-gay as I am.
After looking around for a while, we headed back to the hotel... having someone ask us if the park we were passing was Regent's Park when that very man had passed the huge sign saying "Regent's Park." We told him we were from out-of-town. When we got back to the hotel, I was lying down on my bed from an exhausting day of walking when I got a call from Miss Katie... who was wondering if I was still interested in trying to go to the Globe to see a show. "Yes!," I responded emphatically and with emphasis! The Globe was actually one of the places I was going to go walking to later that evening (I was kind of looking forward to spending some time alone walking around London. It didn't happen... but I guess that just means I'll have to go back sometime). Well... time to get my ass in gear because we're going to be late if we don't hurry! So I went down to the lobby where Katie and I had to wait for C Wage to finish changing... and when Chelsey finally got to the lobby, she looked so happy to see me. And she looked remarkable... as I am clearly remarking about it here.
We hopped into a Black Cab waiting outside the hotel (conveniently) and told him to head to Shakespeare's Globe. I'm almost positive that he took the longest route possible, so I didn't feel the least bit bad when I gave him a crappy tip ("Floss regularly!")... and there we were, getting tickets to see a show at Shakespeare's Globe. I have to admit, the show being The Tempest (not one of my favorites), I was just looking forward to the experience. But I was blown away. The entire show was done by three actors... three fabulous actors who played all the roles, sometimes two at once. It was incredible... one of the greatest five pound shows in the history of the world... and I was right up close. We had purchased yard seats... which put us right there. Right. There. I was no more than 10 yards away from the stage. I was super-close. It was a fantastic experience. The only thing that possibly could have made it better would have been if I hadn't been standing and walking all day... the two hour show became a bit uncomfortable after having been on my feet all day. But, I can't stress enough how amazing the performance was... and the actors even dance after the performance as kind of a thank you to the audience. I was completely floored... what an incredible show.
Here's a badly composed picture of the Globe's stage. I actually got closer than this for the actual show... but just to show you approximately how close I was, here you go.
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After the show, we spent far too much time in the souvenir shop. I ended up buying a shirt that said "Thought Is Free", which is the official t-shirt of this season at the Globe... but which is also a total ME shirt. I couldn't think of a more perfect phrase for a t-shirt for myself. I love that shirt.
Once it was clear that the three of us were pretty much the last people in the shop, we left and decided to go try to find food. Perhaps it's because it's one of the only places we'd ever heard of, or perhaps it was famous and we wanted to know why, we decided to head to Piccadilly Circus for dinner. I was actually pleasantly surprised to find a TGI Fridays in London, as I was actually a little homesick for some non-greasy or fried foods. A spicy pasta dish, some spilled water, and a far too expensive dessert later, and Katie, Chelsey and I were ready to leave. As it was just after Midnight, we were not only ready to leave, we were ready to get back to the hotel and finally get some shut-eye. Reminder... only a few minutes after Midnight and the restaurant/bar that we had just left (TGI Fridays) had just closed. When Katie, Chelsey, and I got to the Underground stop, it was closed... gated off. CLOSED! At Midnight! Which is exactly when the bars were closing... they didn't keep the Tube open an extra half hour to accommodate the bar traffic. I could NOT believe it. How inconvenient is THAT?! (THAT'S why the CTA wins!) So Katie, Chelsey, and I were left wondering how to get from Piccadilly to the Regent's Park area. We stood around for about half an hour trying to get a cab (they were ALL full)... we ended up finding a few other members of our choir tour... and we finally decided to just start walking North and we'd eventually (hopefully) find a cab. I had wisely (and anal retentively) brought a map of London with me. But, like every story of my life, no cab came and we had to walk the whole way... after a full day of walking, and standing, and more walking... I was so exhausted I couldn't wait to sleep. And I would need my sleep for the long and interesting day that would be Sunday.
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