PERSONAL Goin’ to California
As you can see, I’m back from my first visit to Los Angeles. Friday was a very long day. We finished our Skybox show Thursday night at around midnight, and then I headed back to the apartment and packed (who does things last minute? This guy). It was probably around 1:30 by the time I was done packing and ready for bed. That’s normally not so terribly late for me, except that I had to be awake at 4 for my 6:30 flight. I probably got less sleep than it seems, as I’m always anxious the night before a big trip. So I was going on very little sleep… and I think everyone else in the cast was on the same boat. When I got to Midway in the morning, my director—Angie—was pretty much asleep, and her husband was bleary-eyed and keeping track of their luggage.

I should take the time to note something special about this trip here. I have flown a few times, but I’ve never NOT checked baggage on a flight. This flight was short enough that I took a couple carry-ons with me and that was all I needed. That was awesome! Combined with the fact that I could print my boarding pass up to 24 hours before the flight, I was able to go from entrance to gate in about half-an-hour on the flight to LA (and, seriously, about five minutes on the trip to Chicago. LAX is so big, and Monday night such a non-busy time, that I made it through the security check-points without waiting in line). If I can swing it, I’ll never check another bag again.

The flight there actually seemed short because I was able to sleep on the plane. That’s amazing for me, as I can’t sleep on planes, in cars, or in war-zones. I took about half-a-dozen short naps… in between pulling on the guy’s chair in front of me (I’m an asshole) and accidentally kicking the guy behind me. That makes me awesome.

When we landed at LAX, we looked around to find other cast members. We were the first to land, so we had to kill some time (in the food court) and then try to convene with the other cast. The other cast members landed in a different terminal (a foreign concept to me… terminals?! Why doesn’t everyone land in the same building?). When Gillian called me to tell me where they were, she said that they were in the Tom Brady building. This made me confused and angry. “Tom Brady? Why would Tom Brady get a building?” Now Jim will tell you that it’s because he’s got fifteen-hundred Super Bowl rings. But even all those rings can’t justify your own building in an airport of a city in which you never played. So Angie, Tom, and I walked around asking where the Tom Brady building is located… and we had three people tell us before someone said “You mean the Tom Bradley building?” Ah yes… Tom Bradley!

After feeling like a moron for half-an-hour, we finally met up with everyone and rented a car. Gillian decided to spend the extra cash and get a convertible… so there we were, in Southern California, in a convertible. I don’t want to say that I felt like a choch… but I did.

We then headed to Jill’s parent’s house in Pasadena and I got a tour from Jill and her mom (including the big doughnut-shaped doughnut shop, the Staples Center, and the Rose Bowl). The afternoon was spent lying all around a room (on the floor, on a bed, on the ceiling) as a cast talking about life and love and everything in between. Jill had a vision of everyone turning into a big sorority at her house, and we kind of did. It was nice to talk to the cast as people, and get to know them a little.

The reason I was in LA... The LA Improv Comedy Festival

And before we knew it, it was time to head to Hollywood and do a show. Yeah, if you thought I sounded like a choch before; “I had to go to Hollywood to do a show.” Poor me, right? Right? Shut up!
Anyway, the review we had was of a show called “One Way Ticket to Hell” which is a theatre show based on a 50s marijuana propaganda film. Basically the premise seemed to be “If you smoke marijuana, your life will be ruined.” This is where our show started. Oh, did I mention it was a musical? Yeah… it’s a musical. And so was ours. Oh, did I mention I played the lead? Yeah… I was the lead. The cast decided to name me “John” just in case people forgot who the hell I was supposed to be.
So the show was a 50s propaganda musical whose premise was that smoking “reefer” leads to everything going wrong in one’s life. I think, perhaps, I took things a little too literally: My character smoked, drank, listened to jazz music, then stole from the church, and eventually lost his unborn child because his wife took in second-hand marijuana smoke.

If the point of the show was just to put on a really good improvised play, I think we kicked ass. Unfortunately, I think everyone had the expectation that we would be putting on a “funny” show… and I don’t think we accomplished that. Such is my problem; when I should be proud of myself for improvising a moving, interesting, musical… I’m upset with myself for it not being funny enough. *sigh*

After the unfunny comedy improv show, the cast and I went around to the front of IO West--the front is a bar which leads to their mainstage. That, my friends, is where I saw Weird Al. You know, the guy who sings the funny songs? Yeah, him. I would have gone up to him and talked to him, but he looked like he didn’t want to be there and I pussed out. If I play my cards right, this won’t be the only chance I get to meet him. If I don’t, it’s not going to be a big deal whether or not I said “Hey” to Weird Al Yankovic. But most of the night was uneventful… and we, as a tired, exhausted, redundant group, headed back to Jill’s to sleep.

Saturday morning, the cast and I went to a local golf course, you know, for breakfast at the clubhouse. Nothing says luxury like clubhouse breakfasts (even though this breakfast was fairly reasonably priced). Additionally, they put avocado in everything out in California. And I mean everything. Gross.
After breakfast, Susan and Adam picked me up. That’s when I met Cubby. Cubby is the adorably precious dog of Adam and Susan. He sniffed me and decided he should be doing something else. I’m not very interesting. Not even to cute dogs.

Here Cubby moonlights as a super-hero. His super power? Being precious.

Adam drove me through LA from Pasadena… making sure to point out anything scenically interesting along the way. We got to their apartment just in time to get lunch at a little place I like to call “Yuca’s.” Now Yuca’s, for those of you who don’t know, is a burrito stand which is basically the size of my first apartment’s bathroom, and is located in a parking lot. I didn’t paint a favorable picture, but that’s to let you experience the pure shock and juxtaposition at the amazing flavor explosion that is Yuca’s. It was yum yum good. And it was the type of flavor (pun intended) that I wanted to experience in LA: get a real sense of what the city is like if broken into smaller neighborhoods.

Saturday evening I met Adam and Susan’s friends, and we met up with Dave… and old friend from Albion who has floated in and out of this hero’s life. We went to a nice outdoor restaurant—had our dinner—then rented some movies. I find it odd that we were six college graduates and we rented two cartoons. After watching cartoons and drinking mudslides (made with vanilla ice cream instead of ice… so good!), most of us were asleep. Those that were awake stayed awake until 3 AM watching the Jackass movie.

Sunday was fun, too. We went as a group to an LA street festival. That’s where I learned the importance of curb-seating. After the festival, we reconvened at the apartment to meet up with Miss Colleen. She had been in Chicago, and missed me terribly. Only half of that sentence is true. While Colleen and I caught up, Susan and Adam made a delicious home-cooked meal. We ate and then I forced everyone to sit through my Second City DVDs. They all seemed to like my Conservatory show the best.

Sunday night, Adam and I went out to the Viper Room to see a band of a friend of his. I was instantly brought back to my days of Outer Core. The room was small (although you wouldn’t know from the $10 drinks at the bar), and everyone was standing around listening to the music—kind of bobbing their heads. The band we went to see was actually pretty good. They sounded like a combination of Nirvana and someone else good… it sounded pretty. And we bonded over the loud, interesting, and over-air conditioned experience.

Monday was interesting, too. Adam and Susan both had to go to work early… and I was left to fend for myself and eventually walk the dog. I’ve never walked a dog by myself before, so I was really excited to be able to have that responsibility. Cubby and I successfully got to the corner, turned the corner, and then he pretty much stopped. There was a mini-Doberman that was with a group of men doing construction and Cubby wanted to smell it, or bite at it, or look at it, or whatever and he stopped walking. After about five minutes I picked him up and walked him away. When I put him back on the ground, he turned around and didn’t move. After a couple minutes of that, I picked him up and moved him further away; set him down; the same thing happened. So we walked back towards the other dog… and that was the walk. We then headed back to the apartment (for some reason he walked through the sprinklers instead of around them… Cubby hates being wet!), and we got back just in time to see Adam who had come home from work to drive me to the airport.
But I wouldn’t get that ride for free (Gross, come on!). We had to do a few things for his work, so I was off to the Beverly Hills City Hall/Police Department/Library building. Nothing says decadence quite like marble in the elevator (not on the floor, on the walls)… and that’s what this city building has. Adam and I waited in two different lines and finally got six “Valet/No Parking” signs. We then went around Beverly Hills (I’m not kidding you) and put these signs over parking meters in such glorious locations such as Rodeo Drive (again, not kidding). After doing a little work, we were off to In and Out Burger (“They have pretty good burgers,” “Shut the phuk up, Donny!”) and then LAX.

This is as close as I got to the Chinese Theatre. This picture was taken from a speeding car and in between two trucks parked in front of the theatre. Not bad... considering.

That was my weekend in LA. When people have asked me how it went, I really don’t know what to tell them. The weekend seemed to go so fast; and, even though I saw a lot of LA landmarks, I don’t think I got a full enough flavor of what the city is really like. I suppose I’ll have to go back.