CELEBRITY NEWS? Hotties Go Crazy!
Lohan In Car Crash
Here's a story about Lindsey Lohan crashing her black Mercedes. I knew that something might not be right about this story when they said that Lohan was leaving lunch when she got into this accident. Everyone knows Lindsey Lohan doesn't eat... so what was she REALLY doing?
Caution: Tuna Of the Dirt Brand Chicken May Lead To Divorce
In the "let's pretend rumors are actual news" file, here is an article about how Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey may be headed for divorce. I'm very torn about this story. I feel bad for Nick Lachey, as I think he's a very nice guy and I want him to be happy but, on the other hand, it's not like he's losing a doctor, physicist, or domestically-gifted woman... he's losing Jessica Simpson. *shakes head* I don't know... I just thought that Lachey seemed to love Jessica for who she was, and not for the fact that looking at her gives instant eye-orgasms. I don't know if Jessica will be able to find someone else who will love her for who she is and not her looks... and I find that sad. It is my hope that Lachey can find someone who will make him happy and, if not, will try to get 98 Degrees back together again. Hooray for boy bands!
Another Celebrity Sex Tape? That's Toxic
Well well well, the woman who everyone knew was a whore-in-training, and who swore she was a virgin, may have a sex tape "accidentally" going public. This article says Britney Spears "fears" a sex tape she made with her husband is going public. Yeah? Excuse me, but my bullshit meter is going absolutely crazy. Britney hasn't had a good album since... ever; and her and Cletus Federline's lifestyle has GOT to be expensive (mobile homes aren't cheap, y'all)... so my female intuition tells me that Britney and Cletus are releasing this tape themselves to make some money. Another reason I find this story hard to believe is that it poses this difficult question: how could anyone classy enough to bring us the "Pimps/Maids" tracksuit wedding be involved in something so vile? On that note, don't get your hopes up too much, kids. I've spent all morning trying to find the tape online to no avail (just kidding honey! I love you!) [for everyone else, I'm not kidding... I can't find it].