PERSONAL I Feel Poopy... Oh So Poopy
It's not schmoopie how poopy I feel! (Poopy I feel)
And I would be any one who isn't me today! (La-la-la-la-laaa la-la laaa la-laaa)
I've finally succumb to an illness. My first of the "season," as it were. A nagging cough will most probably follow me throughout the rest of the calendar year... but yesterday marked the first day of my first illness of the winter months. For those of you who know my illness cycle (which I don't know who that would be), the first day is always a "Huh, I think I'm getting sick" feeling... and then the second day [today] is a "Oh I feel horrible" feeling. After day two, I will get progressively better until all that remains is the aforementioned nagging cough. Last night, the lovely and talented Miss Chelsey took care of me. She crammed cough drops into my mouth, bought me medicine from the store, and reminded me that nobody likes a big whiner pants (which is what I was wearing). All of the care for me must have been too much for her, as she fell asleep while I was watching "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story." Laughter is the best medicine. As such, today I watched "AVP" [get the segue? It's such a horrible movie that it's funny?!] while drinking tea. People who know me know that I don't drink tea... but I did it because Chelsey wanted me to. See? Even though I'm the most block-headed man I know... I can still be trained. Like a dog. Speaking of dogs... ???
PERSONAL Be Careful For What You Wish
Almost five years ago I fell in love with the most beautiful head of red hair I have ever seen. It was long, it was curly, and it was meticulously well-maintained. It was heavenly. I wanted to smell it, touch it, and--when no one was looking--put it in my mouth. ("Gross!" I know... but you know me. You know it's true) Now, about five years later, I'm dating the girl whose hair is still long, red, well-maintained, and gorgeous. But here's something I, being a balding man with short hair, didn't know: women's hair sheds. It sheds like dog hair because it gets all over the place. There's red hair on my floor, on my bed, in my bathroom, in my kitchen, sometimes even in my food (somehow)... it's everywhere! Sometimes I still put it in my mouth, I won't lie. But only when Chelsey's around and only when she's paying attention so she can say, "John! Gross! Stop it!" Heehee... I'm evil and insane. Regardless, there's enough hair in my apartment right now to make my own Chelsey wig. *nods* I'm thinking about it. *coughs* I'm sick! Be nice to me and let me make a Chelsey wig! *pause* Thanks.