Quick Update
I just wanted y'all to know that I heard back from the woman from Cartoon Network Europe. I asked her two questions in my first email: Do I have to create shows or would I be writing for existing shows? and is it a detriment that I've never been to Europe? She responded that they're really just looking for writers for existing shows (which is what I'm better at, I would think. I think I'm actually pretty good at taking existing characters and writing something new with them. I'm far better at that than I am at creating something completely new). And she's an American herself... saying that people seem to be putting up with her sense of humor over there so I should be fine.
In conclusion, I will probably email her again later today asking how I would go about starting this process (I'M GOING TO WRITE CARTOONS!!!!!!!!)... and hopefully asking a couple more intelligent questions. Just thought you'd like to know.
Additionally, I've got a HUGE post from this weekend (lots of stuff happened), and I'm thinking I might break it up into a few parts lest I take forever to actually write it. *shakes head* Just keep checking back.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Useless Facts
I also got this website of random facts from Fark. I'm going to share my favorite ones... starting from the bottom of the page. Maybe, if you're lucky, some will be presented with "Crazytary":
The average person laughs 15 times a day. (I'm personally forcing someone somewhere not to laugh ever to keep the balance. I laugh a lot)
Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. (the Batmobile cannot make right turns)
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. (unless you've been punched in the face)
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different. (so it's special when I lick you)
It's against the law to slam your car door in Switzerland. (how is that prosecuted?)
In space, astronauts cannot cry, because there is no gravity, so the tears can't flow. (this fact would be perfect in a poem. Nick, work on it)
Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food. (also good for a poem)
Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark. (The Earl of Sandwich was afraid of Subways [this one is such a stretch, I don't think even I get it])
The State of Florida is bigger than England. ('bigger', not 'smarter')
You're born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206. (OMG... where did my bones go?!)
One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. (not as special as you think, is it?)
Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee. (and, from the University of Franklin, Peyton Manning)
Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite. (that's why we get all those warnings "may contain peanuts")
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. (this is one of those facts that makes you go: "interesting, but that makes sense")
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. (from the "tough to test your theory" file)
Chances that a burglary in the US will be solved: 1 in 7 ("Any leads on finding my briefcase?" "Yeah... there are four of us. Working in shifts" *Police Officer laughs... The Dude puts on sunglasses and drives away*)
Portion of land in the US owned by the government: 1/3 (they own us, too)
Percentage of mammal species that are monogamous: 3
Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80
Percentage of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50
Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58
Percentage of women who say they are happier: 85
A kiss stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous. (hey, I'll take light and frequent!)
Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women. (from the "in your FACE John" file. But it is understandable why women would have to invent the bullet proof vest. Yogurt! [still working on replacing 'Zing'])
If you were to spell out numbers, you would you have to go until 1,000 until you would find the letter "A". (from the "too much time on our hands" file)
In a recent survey, Americans revealed that banana was their favorite smell. (pass me that banana cologne, would you?)
Moisture, not air, causes super glue to dry. (from the "don't blow on it!" file)
According to Genesis 1:20-22 the chicken came before the egg. (that answers that question definitively)
A baby is born without kneecaps. They appear between age 2 and 6. (why Terminator 2 featured no babies)
A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate. (I sometimes wish I was a ferret)
A blind chameleon still changes colors to match his environment. (trippy!)
Mark Twain was born on a day in 1835 when Halley's Comet came into view. When he died in 1910, Halley's Comet was in view again. (Mark Twain: the first member of "Heaven's Gate")
A flamingo can eat only when its head is upside down. (and in a toilet)
If you know a millionaire who happens to be married, what is the most likely profession of his wife? She's probably a teacher. (I'm in the wrong profession... and I also shouldn't be a man?)
In 1998, more fast-food employees were murdered on the job than police officers. (well, at least I'm not in THAT profession)
Point Roberts in Washington State is cut off from the rest of the state by British Columbia, Canada. If you wish to travel from Point Roberts to the rest of the state or vice versa, you must pass through Canada, including both Canadian and U.S. customs. (am I the only one who really wants to go there now?)
It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is "shake" and the 46th word from the last word is "spear". (Most Obscure Fact Ever! We found it!)
Woodward Avenue in Detroit, Michigan carries the designation M - 1, named so because it was the first paved road anywhere. (see? all you people from Detroit? You're good for something)
65% of Elvis impersonators are of Asian descent. (nothing I could say could make this funnier)
Ted Turner owns 5% of New Mexico. (disgusting)
Montpelier, Vermont is the only state capitol without a McDonald's. (this won't last long)
Pope John Paul II is the world's Scrabble champion in the over-70 category. (Represent PJPII!)
All polar bears are left handed. (they die earlier than grizzly bears, which are all right handed)
The Bible has been translated into Klingon. (again, the "too much time on our hands" file)
The National Anthem of Greece has 158 verses. ("we've been here for three days! Is the song done yet?")
Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton Look-Alike contest. (she lost to her boobs, which came in first and second, respectively)
The chance that you will die on the way to buy your lottery ticket is greater than the chance of you winning the big prize in most lotteries. (they're 'government issued securities')
Albert Einstein never knew how to drive a car. (who's smarter now, Einstein?)
The UK's best selling hiking magazine published faulty coordinates for descending Scotland's tallest peak (Ben Nevis), and recommended a route that leads climbers off the edge of a cliff. (another example that Brits hate Scots. Go Albion!)
In a nod to astronauts, Texas is the only state that permits residents to cast absentee ballots from space. (or maybe it's because, while he was governer, W. really thought he cornered "the Martian vote")
We forget 80 percent of what we learn everyday. (wait... what was that statistic?)
The New York Times reports that in February 2004, 62% of all e-mail was spam. (I hate SPAM)
In the film Forrest Gump, all the still photos show Forrest with his eyes closed. (interesting film trivia... makes me want to see it again)
Amusement park attendance goes up after a fatal accident. It seems many people want to ride upon the same ride that killed someone. (and they call ME crazy?!)
World War II veterans are now dying at the rate of about 1,100 each day. (that's terrible!)
George W. Bush is probably going to be the eighth president in US history to have completed a term in office without ever having issued a single veto. (when asked to comment, Bush said "Everyone seems to be doing a pretty good job writin' those laws and stuff.")
Hostess Twinkies were originally filled with banana filling. The filling was changed during World War II when the United States experienced a banana shortage. (on a related note, before WWII Twinkies used to be everyone's favorite smell [see above])
71% of office workers stopped on the street for a survey agreed to give up their computer passwords in exchange for a chocolate bar. (in a related story, a terrorist organization has just bought Hershey's)
David Bowie thinks he is being stalked by someone who is dressed like a giant pink rabbit. Bowie has noticed the fan at several recent concerts, but he became alarmed when he got on a plane and the bunny was on board. (David Bowie has been watching Donnie Darko repeatedly)
When Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen turn 18 in mid-2004, they will take official control of a company worth more than the gross national product of Mongolia. Their earnings in 2003 topped $1 billion. (that is so disgusting. I hate capitalism)
On average, 40% of all hotel rooms in the United States remain empty every night. (remember that if you're traveling someplace without hotel reservations... hotels are FAR more likely to stick you in a room late at night, even if you barter with them for a lower price)
20% of Americans think that the sun orbits around the Earth. (the latest census shows that 20% of Americans live in Texas. Coincidence?)
The IRS admits that one in five people who call their help line get the wrong answer to their question. (*shakes head*)
So far, Congress has authorized $152,600,000,000 for the Iraq war. This is enough to build over 17,500 elementary schools. (no comment)
If you hook Jell-O up to an EEG, it registers movements almost identical to a human adult's brain waves. (also if you hook Jell-O up to an EEG, it is still delicious)
In 2004, one in six girls in the United States enter puberty at age 8. A hundred years ago, only one in a hundred entered puberty that early. (who's up for lowering the age of consent?! Nobody?... well then this fact is just sad then)
Seven percent of Americans claim they never bathe at all. (the latest census shows that 7% of Americans live in Kentucky)
In 1985, the most popular waist size for men's pants was 32. In 2003, it's 36. (I'm popular again!)
A chef's hat is shaped the way it is for a reason: its shape allows air to circulate around the scalp, keeping the head cool in a hot kitchen. (not to get chicks? interesting)
Al Gore's roommate in college (Harvard, class of 1969) was Tommy Lee Jones. (this is easily a Second City scene. I'm working on the script)
Each year, more people are killed by teddy bears than by grizzly bears. (Roosevelt should have shot that bear!)
La Paz, Bolivia is the world's most fireproof city. At 12,000 feet about sea level, the amount of oxygen in the air barely supports a flame. (so, if you're ever on fire, hold your breath. Wait... that's not the point)
Oprah Winfrey and Elvis Presley are distant cousins. (They are part of the "Disgustingly Wealthy" family)
If the recent U.S. election was held in Canada, John Kerry would have beaten George Bush in a landslide - 64% to 19%. (this just in... John Kerry has just been elected the President of Canada)
Mel Gibson has personally earned almost $400,000,000 from his movie "The Passion of the Christ". (take THAT Jesus!)
George W. Bush, who presents himself as a man of faith, rarely goes to church. Yet he won nearly two out of three voters who attend church at least once a week. (take THAT Jesus!)
A ten year old mattress weighs double what it did when it was new, because of the -ahem- debris which is absorbed through the years. That debris includes dust mites (their droppings and their decaying bodies), mold, millions of dead skin cells, dandruff, animal and human hair, secretions, excretions, lint, pollen, dust, soil, sand and a lot of perspiration, of which the average person loses a quart per day. Good night! (all I have to say is this: How old do you think those beds in Albion are? Good night, indeed!)
90% of Canada's 31,000,000 citizens live within 100 miles of the U.S. border. (They want to be us... hello?!)
The day after President George W. Bush was reelected, Canada's main immigration website had 115,000 visitors. Before Bush's re-election, this site averaged about 20,000 visitors each day. (from the "I would have done it if I had thought of it" file)
More than 2,500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products that are made for right-handed people. (stupid rightys! I just want to use some scissors!)
The time spent deleting SPAM costs United States businesses $21.6 billion annually. (I HATE SPAM!!!)
(and finally, MY PERSONAL FAVORITE) 60.7 percent of eligible voters participated in the 2004 presidential election, the highest percentage in 36 years. However, more than 78 million did not vote. This means President Bush won re-election by receiving votes from less than 31% of all eligible voters in the United States.
I also got this website of random facts from Fark. I'm going to share my favorite ones... starting from the bottom of the page. Maybe, if you're lucky, some will be presented with "Crazytary":
The average person laughs 15 times a day. (I'm personally forcing someone somewhere not to laugh ever to keep the balance. I laugh a lot)
Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. (the Batmobile cannot make right turns)
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. (unless you've been punched in the face)
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different. (so it's special when I lick you)
It's against the law to slam your car door in Switzerland. (how is that prosecuted?)
In space, astronauts cannot cry, because there is no gravity, so the tears can't flow. (this fact would be perfect in a poem. Nick, work on it)
Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food. (also good for a poem)
Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark. (The Earl of Sandwich was afraid of Subways [this one is such a stretch, I don't think even I get it])
The State of Florida is bigger than England. ('bigger', not 'smarter')
You're born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206. (OMG... where did my bones go?!)
One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. (not as special as you think, is it?)
Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee. (and, from the University of Franklin, Peyton Manning)
Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite. (that's why we get all those warnings "may contain peanuts")
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. (this is one of those facts that makes you go: "interesting, but that makes sense")
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. (from the "tough to test your theory" file)
Chances that a burglary in the US will be solved: 1 in 7 ("Any leads on finding my briefcase?" "Yeah... there are four of us. Working in shifts" *Police Officer laughs... The Dude puts on sunglasses and drives away*)
Portion of land in the US owned by the government: 1/3 (they own us, too)
Percentage of mammal species that are monogamous: 3
Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80
Percentage of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50
Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58
Percentage of women who say they are happier: 85
A kiss stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous. (hey, I'll take light and frequent!)
Bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women. (from the "in your FACE John" file. But it is understandable why women would have to invent the bullet proof vest. Yogurt! [still working on replacing 'Zing'])
If you were to spell out numbers, you would you have to go until 1,000 until you would find the letter "A". (from the "too much time on our hands" file)
In a recent survey, Americans revealed that banana was their favorite smell. (pass me that banana cologne, would you?)
Moisture, not air, causes super glue to dry. (from the "don't blow on it!" file)
According to Genesis 1:20-22 the chicken came before the egg. (that answers that question definitively)
A baby is born without kneecaps. They appear between age 2 and 6. (why Terminator 2 featured no babies)
A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate. (I sometimes wish I was a ferret)
A blind chameleon still changes colors to match his environment. (trippy!)
Mark Twain was born on a day in 1835 when Halley's Comet came into view. When he died in 1910, Halley's Comet was in view again. (Mark Twain: the first member of "Heaven's Gate")
A flamingo can eat only when its head is upside down. (and in a toilet)
If you know a millionaire who happens to be married, what is the most likely profession of his wife? She's probably a teacher. (I'm in the wrong profession... and I also shouldn't be a man?)
In 1998, more fast-food employees were murdered on the job than police officers. (well, at least I'm not in THAT profession)
Point Roberts in Washington State is cut off from the rest of the state by British Columbia, Canada. If you wish to travel from Point Roberts to the rest of the state or vice versa, you must pass through Canada, including both Canadian and U.S. customs. (am I the only one who really wants to go there now?)
It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is "shake" and the 46th word from the last word is "spear". (Most Obscure Fact Ever! We found it!)
Woodward Avenue in Detroit, Michigan carries the designation M - 1, named so because it was the first paved road anywhere. (see? all you people from Detroit? You're good for something)
65% of Elvis impersonators are of Asian descent. (nothing I could say could make this funnier)
Ted Turner owns 5% of New Mexico. (disgusting)
Montpelier, Vermont is the only state capitol without a McDonald's. (this won't last long)
Pope John Paul II is the world's Scrabble champion in the over-70 category. (Represent PJPII!)
All polar bears are left handed. (they die earlier than grizzly bears, which are all right handed)
The Bible has been translated into Klingon. (again, the "too much time on our hands" file)
The National Anthem of Greece has 158 verses. ("we've been here for three days! Is the song done yet?")
Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton Look-Alike contest. (she lost to her boobs, which came in first and second, respectively)
The chance that you will die on the way to buy your lottery ticket is greater than the chance of you winning the big prize in most lotteries. (they're 'government issued securities')
Albert Einstein never knew how to drive a car. (who's smarter now, Einstein?)
The UK's best selling hiking magazine published faulty coordinates for descending Scotland's tallest peak (Ben Nevis), and recommended a route that leads climbers off the edge of a cliff. (another example that Brits hate Scots. Go Albion!)
In a nod to astronauts, Texas is the only state that permits residents to cast absentee ballots from space. (or maybe it's because, while he was governer, W. really thought he cornered "the Martian vote")
We forget 80 percent of what we learn everyday. (wait... what was that statistic?)
The New York Times reports that in February 2004, 62% of all e-mail was spam. (I hate SPAM)
In the film Forrest Gump, all the still photos show Forrest with his eyes closed. (interesting film trivia... makes me want to see it again)
Amusement park attendance goes up after a fatal accident. It seems many people want to ride upon the same ride that killed someone. (and they call ME crazy?!)
World War II veterans are now dying at the rate of about 1,100 each day. (that's terrible!)
George W. Bush is probably going to be the eighth president in US history to have completed a term in office without ever having issued a single veto. (when asked to comment, Bush said "Everyone seems to be doing a pretty good job writin' those laws and stuff.")
Hostess Twinkies were originally filled with banana filling. The filling was changed during World War II when the United States experienced a banana shortage. (on a related note, before WWII Twinkies used to be everyone's favorite smell [see above])
71% of office workers stopped on the street for a survey agreed to give up their computer passwords in exchange for a chocolate bar. (in a related story, a terrorist organization has just bought Hershey's)
David Bowie thinks he is being stalked by someone who is dressed like a giant pink rabbit. Bowie has noticed the fan at several recent concerts, but he became alarmed when he got on a plane and the bunny was on board. (David Bowie has been watching Donnie Darko repeatedly)
When Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen turn 18 in mid-2004, they will take official control of a company worth more than the gross national product of Mongolia. Their earnings in 2003 topped $1 billion. (that is so disgusting. I hate capitalism)
On average, 40% of all hotel rooms in the United States remain empty every night. (remember that if you're traveling someplace without hotel reservations... hotels are FAR more likely to stick you in a room late at night, even if you barter with them for a lower price)
20% of Americans think that the sun orbits around the Earth. (the latest census shows that 20% of Americans live in Texas. Coincidence?)
The IRS admits that one in five people who call their help line get the wrong answer to their question. (*shakes head*)
So far, Congress has authorized $152,600,000,000 for the Iraq war. This is enough to build over 17,500 elementary schools. (no comment)
If you hook Jell-O up to an EEG, it registers movements almost identical to a human adult's brain waves. (also if you hook Jell-O up to an EEG, it is still delicious)
In 2004, one in six girls in the United States enter puberty at age 8. A hundred years ago, only one in a hundred entered puberty that early. (who's up for lowering the age of consent?! Nobody?... well then this fact is just sad then)
Seven percent of Americans claim they never bathe at all. (the latest census shows that 7% of Americans live in Kentucky)
In 1985, the most popular waist size for men's pants was 32. In 2003, it's 36. (I'm popular again!)
A chef's hat is shaped the way it is for a reason: its shape allows air to circulate around the scalp, keeping the head cool in a hot kitchen. (not to get chicks? interesting)
Al Gore's roommate in college (Harvard, class of 1969) was Tommy Lee Jones. (this is easily a Second City scene. I'm working on the script)
Each year, more people are killed by teddy bears than by grizzly bears. (Roosevelt should have shot that bear!)
La Paz, Bolivia is the world's most fireproof city. At 12,000 feet about sea level, the amount of oxygen in the air barely supports a flame. (so, if you're ever on fire, hold your breath. Wait... that's not the point)
Oprah Winfrey and Elvis Presley are distant cousins. (They are part of the "Disgustingly Wealthy" family)
If the recent U.S. election was held in Canada, John Kerry would have beaten George Bush in a landslide - 64% to 19%. (this just in... John Kerry has just been elected the President of Canada)
Mel Gibson has personally earned almost $400,000,000 from his movie "The Passion of the Christ". (take THAT Jesus!)
George W. Bush, who presents himself as a man of faith, rarely goes to church. Yet he won nearly two out of three voters who attend church at least once a week. (take THAT Jesus!)
A ten year old mattress weighs double what it did when it was new, because of the -ahem- debris which is absorbed through the years. That debris includes dust mites (their droppings and their decaying bodies), mold, millions of dead skin cells, dandruff, animal and human hair, secretions, excretions, lint, pollen, dust, soil, sand and a lot of perspiration, of which the average person loses a quart per day. Good night! (all I have to say is this: How old do you think those beds in Albion are? Good night, indeed!)
90% of Canada's 31,000,000 citizens live within 100 miles of the U.S. border. (They want to be us... hello?!)
The day after President George W. Bush was reelected, Canada's main immigration website had 115,000 visitors. Before Bush's re-election, this site averaged about 20,000 visitors each day. (from the "I would have done it if I had thought of it" file)
More than 2,500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products that are made for right-handed people. (stupid rightys! I just want to use some scissors!)
The time spent deleting SPAM costs United States businesses $21.6 billion annually. (I HATE SPAM!!!)
(and finally, MY PERSONAL FAVORITE) 60.7 percent of eligible voters participated in the 2004 presidential election, the highest percentage in 36 years. However, more than 78 million did not vote. This means President Bush won re-election by receiving votes from less than 31% of all eligible voters in the United States.
"No, Honey, I'm Doing It To Get Healthy!"
I've been going to Fark.com for almost a week now. It's full of the weird and useless... which is the only information I'm really interested in. Here is a story posted today that I HAD to share. The below is taken from this page. Enjoy:
"An Eyeful a Day Keeps the Doctor Away
by Jonathan Hayter
Staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and makes them live longer, a new survey reveals. Researchers have discovered that a 10-minute ogle at women's breasts is as healthy as half-an-hour in the gym. A five-year study of 200 men found that those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties had lower blood pressure, less heart disease and slower pulse rates compared to those who did not get their daily eyeful.
Dr Karen Weatherby, who carried out the German study, wrote in The New England Journal of Medicine: "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout. Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There is no question that gazing at breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of a stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life 4 to 5 years."
She added that sexy stars like Dolly Parton, Heather Locklear, Anna Nicole Smith and Demi Moore had proved to be especially good for the men's health.
Source: the web"
I would think engaging in that activity would INCREASE the chance of stroke. Fondue! (I'm trying to replace 'Zing!' for Mike Bohne... but I still feel the need to punctuate jokes)
In a related note, here is a list my friends who, whether they knew it or not, I would like to thank for my prolonged life......
I've been going to Fark.com for almost a week now. It's full of the weird and useless... which is the only information I'm really interested in. Here is a story posted today that I HAD to share. The below is taken from this page. Enjoy:
"An Eyeful a Day Keeps the Doctor Away
by Jonathan Hayter
Staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and makes them live longer, a new survey reveals. Researchers have discovered that a 10-minute ogle at women's breasts is as healthy as half-an-hour in the gym. A five-year study of 200 men found that those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties had lower blood pressure, less heart disease and slower pulse rates compared to those who did not get their daily eyeful.
Dr Karen Weatherby, who carried out the German study, wrote in The New England Journal of Medicine: "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout. Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There is no question that gazing at breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of a stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life 4 to 5 years."
She added that sexy stars like Dolly Parton, Heather Locklear, Anna Nicole Smith and Demi Moore had proved to be especially good for the men's health.
Source: the web"
I would think engaging in that activity would INCREASE the chance of stroke. Fondue! (I'm trying to replace 'Zing!' for Mike Bohne... but I still feel the need to punctuate jokes)
In a related note, here is a list my friends who, whether they knew it or not, I would like to thank for my prolonged life......
The Most Blasphemous Post... Ever
This morning I went to the Fourth Presbyterian Church of Chicago to see Jennie and the Alma College Choir. Chicago is the first stop of their choir spring break tour... and the Fourth Presbyterian was their first concert of the week. The choir sounded wonderful, and I had fun watching the faces of the choir members; amusing myself by figuring out who was nervous and didn't really remember the songs, who thought they were "King Shit of Poop Mountain", and who was there just having fun. And I pretty literally had to bite my tongue to stop myself from singing along with "Witness" arranged by Jack Halloran (a song I sang at Albion) ["... and my strength will come, like a natural MAN" <--last note sung as low as possible, I loved it].
I also enjoyed the sermon today. The Pastor, John Buchanan, first read from John book 4... it's the story about Jesus at the well with the Samaritan woman, if you know enough to remember that story (sometimes called "The Woman at the Well"... I remembered the story). My initial reaction to hearing this story is that (bare with me) Jesus of Nazorith is an incredibly complicated literary charactor. And, if I were to have to play Jesus of Nazorith in a play or movie, and did my "actor's homework" on him... I would find it incredibly difficult. When one thinks of Jesus, one conjures thoughts of miracles and love and healing. But then, hearing a story like the one today, I'm struck with a thought like "What a dick." The story of the woman at the well starts with Jesus saying "Give me some water to drink." He doesn't ask polietly, he instructs her to give him water. When she points out that Jews normally want nothing to do with Samaritans, he says "If you had known the gift of God and who it is who said to you, 'Give me some water to drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." Which is fairly pompous and the Biblical equavalent of Bill Gates saying, 'Yeah... when I asked you for a dollar, if you knew who I was, you would have asked ME for a dollar.' When the woman says the equavalent of "That makes no sense," Jesus then goes on to say "everyone who drinks some of this water will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks some of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again." It would be at this point that I would say "Then why are you asking me for water if you've got water that keeps one from being thirsty forever?" But I kept thinking, "what a jerk." There are stories in the New Testament that make Jesus seem like a show-off, or cocky, or psychotic, or as if he's judging people exactly at the same time he's telling them not to judge others... and I think it's because his story is written by four different authors.
There are common threads, but you get a different perspective... a different characterization. And I think, as a Christian listening to the gospels, you're stuck with this feeling that everything in the Bible is "capital T Truth." There is little room for interpretation, particularly in passages where a story told about Jesus is presented as a factual historical biography of who this man was. I think it's tough to wrap your mind around the perceived infallibility of Jesus when you're presented with stories that seem, at times, contrary to what you heard he stood for.
But here's where everything got really interesting: Pastor Buchanan started his sermon about the passage. I've heard the woman at the well story at least half a dozen times in Catholic churches (a favorite passage during Lent), and every time I hear it, the priest would talk about the living water... and how we're all supposed to accept Jesus as savoir and we'll live forever without "thirst." But that wasn't Buchanan's message. He started talking about the tension between Jews and Samaritans... and about how a Jewish man wouldn't share anything with a Samaritan, how a Rabbi wouldn't speak with a Samaritan, and how a Jewish man certainly wouldn't speak to a Samaritan woman. He went on to talk about the woman at the well who "had no husband"--she was married five times and was currently living with a sixth man. The Pastor pointed out that she was at the well at noon (which is written in this passage)... which was probably because she was a social outcast in her village because of her marrital indescresion. Most people in the village would go to the well when it was cool, like the morning or evening... but this woman went at noon, when the sun was at it's brightest and most unforgiving, precisely BECAUSE she KNEW no one else was going to be there. And not only did a Jewish Rabbi speak to her, but he did not condemn her even though he seemed to divinely know that she had married five men and was living with a sixth. The woman then goes back to the village, tells them about a great Jewish man who knew about her but did not condemn her... and the whole village comes out to see Jesus. They are so impressed by him, and wanted to hear his words, that they ask him to stay with them. This is the equvalence of... I don't know, perhaps an American being welcomed by a town of Communists during the Cold War. It is incredible that Jesus, a Jewish Rabbi, would be asked to stay by a village of Samaritans. It was the logical, human side of this story that Pastor Buchanan spoke about... and the point of the story finally hit me. It was about INCLUSION... about being human to other humans, regardless of the societal disagreements. Pastor Buchanan then went on to say that he has been criticised for saying that Christianity doesn't necessarily superceed Judism in his mind... that all differences in faith should be celebrated instead of hated. He also spoke against using God as a reason for war. All I could think, sitting in the pew was "FINALLY! Someone gets it!" And perhaps there was something about Pastor Buchanan treating the woman at the well passage as a story that really intrigues me... it's not as if the point of it is lost if I view it as a story filled with metaphor rather than biographical fact. The point of the story is... THE POINT! Isn't it? Or, should I ask, shouldn't it be?
I checked the church's website online and they have a forum that welcomes gays, lesbians, and their friends and family. I don't think you heard me, especially if you're listening as a Catholic: WELCOMING GAYS AND LESBIANS... in, what they call, the 'inclusive light of God.' Perhaps one of the most irritating, frustrating things about organized Christian religions to me is the pure hatred and disdain they have for homosexuals... and the absolute hypocrisy that is if they truly are trying to love everyone as Christians. Saying that they love all people, but being able to fairly nonchalantly condemn others to "Hell"... makes me sick.
I guess my point is that I was really interested in what the Pastor had to say... and I'm interested in seeing if the entire parish is as liberal and progressive as the pastor seemed to be today. I'll probably go back there in a couple Sundays... and I'll make sure I dress up a little better (yeah, even khaki pants and the $80 J Crew shirt Brian gave me when he moved made me feel under-dressed. Next time I go, I'm going with a full suit, baby [What? I like wearing suits]).
This morning I went to the Fourth Presbyterian Church of Chicago to see Jennie and the Alma College Choir. Chicago is the first stop of their choir spring break tour... and the Fourth Presbyterian was their first concert of the week. The choir sounded wonderful, and I had fun watching the faces of the choir members; amusing myself by figuring out who was nervous and didn't really remember the songs, who thought they were "King Shit of Poop Mountain", and who was there just having fun. And I pretty literally had to bite my tongue to stop myself from singing along with "Witness" arranged by Jack Halloran (a song I sang at Albion) ["... and my strength will come, like a natural MAN" <--last note sung as low as possible, I loved it].
I also enjoyed the sermon today. The Pastor, John Buchanan, first read from John book 4... it's the story about Jesus at the well with the Samaritan woman, if you know enough to remember that story (sometimes called "The Woman at the Well"... I remembered the story). My initial reaction to hearing this story is that (bare with me) Jesus of Nazorith is an incredibly complicated literary charactor. And, if I were to have to play Jesus of Nazorith in a play or movie, and did my "actor's homework" on him... I would find it incredibly difficult. When one thinks of Jesus, one conjures thoughts of miracles and love and healing. But then, hearing a story like the one today, I'm struck with a thought like "What a dick." The story of the woman at the well starts with Jesus saying "Give me some water to drink." He doesn't ask polietly, he instructs her to give him water. When she points out that Jews normally want nothing to do with Samaritans, he says "If you had known the gift of God and who it is who said to you, 'Give me some water to drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." Which is fairly pompous and the Biblical equavalent of Bill Gates saying, 'Yeah... when I asked you for a dollar, if you knew who I was, you would have asked ME for a dollar.' When the woman says the equavalent of "That makes no sense," Jesus then goes on to say "everyone who drinks some of this water will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks some of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again." It would be at this point that I would say "Then why are you asking me for water if you've got water that keeps one from being thirsty forever?" But I kept thinking, "what a jerk." There are stories in the New Testament that make Jesus seem like a show-off, or cocky, or psychotic, or as if he's judging people exactly at the same time he's telling them not to judge others... and I think it's because his story is written by four different authors.
There are common threads, but you get a different perspective... a different characterization. And I think, as a Christian listening to the gospels, you're stuck with this feeling that everything in the Bible is "capital T Truth." There is little room for interpretation, particularly in passages where a story told about Jesus is presented as a factual historical biography of who this man was. I think it's tough to wrap your mind around the perceived infallibility of Jesus when you're presented with stories that seem, at times, contrary to what you heard he stood for.
But here's where everything got really interesting: Pastor Buchanan started his sermon about the passage. I've heard the woman at the well story at least half a dozen times in Catholic churches (a favorite passage during Lent), and every time I hear it, the priest would talk about the living water... and how we're all supposed to accept Jesus as savoir and we'll live forever without "thirst." But that wasn't Buchanan's message. He started talking about the tension between Jews and Samaritans... and about how a Jewish man wouldn't share anything with a Samaritan, how a Rabbi wouldn't speak with a Samaritan, and how a Jewish man certainly wouldn't speak to a Samaritan woman. He went on to talk about the woman at the well who "had no husband"--she was married five times and was currently living with a sixth man. The Pastor pointed out that she was at the well at noon (which is written in this passage)... which was probably because she was a social outcast in her village because of her marrital indescresion. Most people in the village would go to the well when it was cool, like the morning or evening... but this woman went at noon, when the sun was at it's brightest and most unforgiving, precisely BECAUSE she KNEW no one else was going to be there. And not only did a Jewish Rabbi speak to her, but he did not condemn her even though he seemed to divinely know that she had married five men and was living with a sixth. The woman then goes back to the village, tells them about a great Jewish man who knew about her but did not condemn her... and the whole village comes out to see Jesus. They are so impressed by him, and wanted to hear his words, that they ask him to stay with them. This is the equvalence of... I don't know, perhaps an American being welcomed by a town of Communists during the Cold War. It is incredible that Jesus, a Jewish Rabbi, would be asked to stay by a village of Samaritans. It was the logical, human side of this story that Pastor Buchanan spoke about... and the point of the story finally hit me. It was about INCLUSION... about being human to other humans, regardless of the societal disagreements. Pastor Buchanan then went on to say that he has been criticised for saying that Christianity doesn't necessarily superceed Judism in his mind... that all differences in faith should be celebrated instead of hated. He also spoke against using God as a reason for war. All I could think, sitting in the pew was "FINALLY! Someone gets it!" And perhaps there was something about Pastor Buchanan treating the woman at the well passage as a story that really intrigues me... it's not as if the point of it is lost if I view it as a story filled with metaphor rather than biographical fact. The point of the story is... THE POINT! Isn't it? Or, should I ask, shouldn't it be?
I checked the church's website online and they have a forum that welcomes gays, lesbians, and their friends and family. I don't think you heard me, especially if you're listening as a Catholic: WELCOMING GAYS AND LESBIANS... in, what they call, the 'inclusive light of God.' Perhaps one of the most irritating, frustrating things about organized Christian religions to me is the pure hatred and disdain they have for homosexuals... and the absolute hypocrisy that is if they truly are trying to love everyone as Christians. Saying that they love all people, but being able to fairly nonchalantly condemn others to "Hell"... makes me sick.
I guess my point is that I was really interested in what the Pastor had to say... and I'm interested in seeing if the entire parish is as liberal and progressive as the pastor seemed to be today. I'll probably go back there in a couple Sundays... and I'll make sure I dress up a little better (yeah, even khaki pants and the $80 J Crew shirt Brian gave me when he moved made me feel under-dressed. Next time I go, I'm going with a full suit, baby [What? I like wearing suits]).
"Say hello to everything you've left behind
It's even more a part of your life now that you can't touch it"
- 'The Nurse Who Loved Me'... a simply beautiful song
More on this soon... A CrazyJohn surprise visit! But, for now, I'm going on no sleep (yes, again)... and it's time to try to catch up a bit. See you all soon :)
It's even more a part of your life now that you can't touch it"
- 'The Nurse Who Loved Me'... a simply beautiful song
More on this soon... A CrazyJohn surprise visit! But, for now, I'm going on no sleep (yes, again)... and it's time to try to catch up a bit. See you all soon :)
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Randy Moss... the Numbers Game
I've been trying to keep up with the NBA trade deadline (probably my favorite trade deadline... maybe second only to baseball's trade deadline. But in the NBA, you get big names traded for big names. In the NHL [back when there was such a thing] and MLB, you get big names traded for crap). Anyway, ESPN has been going back and forth from basketball to the Randy Moss trade. I've been thinking, about this Randy Moss thing... and this has nothing to do with anything, but check it out: Jerry Porter is number 84; Randy Moss was number 84... what happens to #84 now? Is Randy a bitch about it (which I think he will be)? or does Randy take another number with the Raiders? Does he take #81, Tim Brown's old number (that should be retired with the Raiders but won't ever be), or does he take #80, Jerry Rice's old number (which should be retired by the 49ers, Raiders, and the Seahawks [again] when HE retires). Every other 80 number is already taken. He wore #88 in college, perhaps he pays Doug Jolley to take the number from him. And, for those of you that don't think the number is a big deal, get this: Last year, Eli Manning bought punter Jeff Feagles a vacation for his whole family in exchange for his #10. The jersey number can/is important to a lot of athletes. So don't simply disregard this whole thing as being silly. Well, it is silly... but I'm still interested to see what happens. Porter is full of himself enough to not give up #84... and Moss is full of himself enough to want it. When two huge egos butt heads, it always makes for interesting drama. Or it makes for something that's going to force me to take a nap... right now.
I've been trying to keep up with the NBA trade deadline (probably my favorite trade deadline... maybe second only to baseball's trade deadline. But in the NBA, you get big names traded for big names. In the NHL [back when there was such a thing] and MLB, you get big names traded for crap). Anyway, ESPN has been going back and forth from basketball to the Randy Moss trade. I've been thinking, about this Randy Moss thing... and this has nothing to do with anything, but check it out: Jerry Porter is number 84; Randy Moss was number 84... what happens to #84 now? Is Randy a bitch about it (which I think he will be)? or does Randy take another number with the Raiders? Does he take #81, Tim Brown's old number (that should be retired with the Raiders but won't ever be), or does he take #80, Jerry Rice's old number (which should be retired by the 49ers, Raiders, and the Seahawks [again] when HE retires). Every other 80 number is already taken. He wore #88 in college, perhaps he pays Doug Jolley to take the number from him. And, for those of you that don't think the number is a big deal, get this: Last year, Eli Manning bought punter Jeff Feagles a vacation for his whole family in exchange for his #10. The jersey number can/is important to a lot of athletes. So don't simply disregard this whole thing as being silly. Well, it is silly... but I'm still interested to see what happens. Porter is full of himself enough to not give up #84... and Moss is full of himself enough to want it. When two huge egos butt heads, it always makes for interesting drama. Or it makes for something that's going to force me to take a nap... right now.
"Hello...?" 'echo echo echo' "Which aisle is the cereal?" echo echo... wait, we meant 'real real real'
Yesterday, like I said, I got pretty tired half-way through the day. I just decided to hit the hay and not set an alarm... see what happens! Well, I'll tell you what happens: I ended up sleeping all day. I slept from about 2:30 to 8. I apparently needed it. Unfortunately, here I am, Thursday morning... having not slept all night. My body is so fucked up... I eat irregularly, I sleep irregularly, and whenever I get back on track, something happens that messes me up again. If it's not an illness, it's mental or hanging out til all hours or just being an idiot. I'm not sure how to get my life back on a regular schedule... although, maybe, the job I'm seeking will do that for me (by 'maybe', I mean 'it will').
Raiders/Vikings trade of Randy Moss...? ESPN.com reports Randy Moss is headed to the Raiders here. This is just another reason why I will get to hate the Raiders (Warren Sapp's still there; Tim Brown and Jerry Rice are gone). I think the Raiders definitely got the better of this deal... as they will now have Jerry Porter on one side and Randy Moss on the other (say good-bye to Rich Gannon, by the way... they're building a big-play Kerry Collins team right now). The Vikings will no doubt use the first round pick on Braylon Edwards or Mike Williams (if they're available)... but are still in dire need of someone who can play defense. I've heard that the Vikings may shop one of their million running backs to get actual defensive help (read: Not Napoleon Harris). That would be a good move, I feel... as they have a million running backs just to make every fantasy football player hate their team. Yeah, and speaking of hating their team... it's going to be harder to do next year. With Moss on their team, it was easy to hate the Vikings. Now I'm mostly indifferent. I still hate Culpepper's "dance"... getting his "roll on" or whatever he's doing. It looks like he's having a seizure, is what it looks like he's doing. And if he did, I probably wouldn't mind. Yeah... I think I'll still be able to hate their stupid fans and annoying "horn" sound at their home games... but hating them just got a little tougher.
Speaking of sports, here's some BBC tennis pictures that are anything but ordinary. I don't know if there's anything I can say besides go check it out.
Late last night, I watched the infamous "Having a Baby" scene again. Honestly, watching those old shows again, I can't believe the audience sat through 20 minute scenes and shows that were HOURS long. But that stupid scene is still hilarious, and it always makes me wonder why I haven't tried to go back to it since. I couldn't do it here because it's too long, and I don't know that there's a way to shorten the scene. We could make it an audience participation scene, where we ask the audience for an emotion. The problem being that you never know what the audience is going to bring out as an emotion... I just don't think it's worth it.
Because I couldn't sleep, I did what any sane person would do: Early morning grocery shopping! The Dominick's near me is open 24 Hours a day... and I couldn't think of anything more productive to do at 5:30 in the morning than get groceries. Apparently I was alone in that thinking... horrifically alone. When I entered the store, I paused at the door to make sure that it wasn't a joke that they were open 24 hours. Even after I had pushed my way through the revolving door, I stood still in the entrance... waiting for a sign that this wasn't a joke. The parking lot had only contained a handful of cars... and I had gone shopping late at night before with at least twice the cars in the lot, but never this early in the morning. Once I saw a man in an apron restocking some oranges, I knew it was safe. I pulled out a shopping cart minus the cupholder and proceeded into the store. SIDENOTE: Since when did a cupholder become a coveted feature to have on a shopping cart? I can't go shopping in a place that doesn't have a stupid cupholder attached to all of their carts. I was lucky that no one was around and that Dominicks has a few carts without it. I mean, do people really go shopping thinking "Oh, this place has cupholders on their shopping carts. They always have MY best interests in mind--Looking out for me."? I find the cupholders to be totally annoying, and have to constantly adjust where my cart is lest I hit someone, something, or someplace with the gi-normous protruding cupholder. Stupid cupholders piss me off. And it's not like shopping is such long and barren process that one would HAVE to intake fluids while doing it or risk dehydration! "Must drink water... can't make it to... next... aisle!" COME ON!
Where was I? Oh... at the entrance, making this story as long as possible. Now I remember. Well, the rest of the story goes pretty quickly. Five o'clock is apparently the time to restock every single aisle. And I know that they have to restock the store at some point... but there was an employee in every aisle with boxes and crates full of food, making traversing the aisles difficult (but not as difficult as if I would have had a cupholder cart!). I think one of the most interesting aspects of the whole situation was that none of the employees even regarded me... no one talked to me or even really looked at me. If you were working at a grocery store at 5:30 in the morning, wouldn't you be curious enough about people who are doing grocery shopping at that time to at least stare impolitely at them? I would. And much of my shopping was uneventful simply because I was ignored by everyone in every aisle. I know I'm all about being alone, and I may have mentioned it being cool to go shopping in an empty store at one point (I'm almost certain I did), but that was an EMPTY store. There's something unnerving and uncool about shopping in a store with people as if there wasn't anyone there. The one time someone talked to me was in the frozen food section. I was getting a couple frozen pizzas for Ken's visit (just in case) and I moved out of the way of one of the guys who was about to stock the shelves with more pizzas. He said "Thank you, sir" and it made me feel good. Good in that he thanked me, and also in that I wasn't invisible to someone who worked there. Finally, as I went to check out, I approached the one lit up register with hesitation. I guess I wasn't fully convinced that I had just done my shopping and could actually pay for it. But the, uh, probably Spanish, woman waved me towards her. For some reason I really wanted to make a connection... probably because I had just been ignored for 45 minutes (yes, it still takes me a long time to do the shopping... too many choices easily overwhelms me). So I said hello and the woman asked how I was, to which I responded "Well, I'm awake. Ha ha." A nice person would have at least smiled. I am a customer. Do you know what I got from the checkout woman? A grunt. I got... a grunt. I knew at that point that there was no point in me even trying to talk to her, so I didn't for the rest of the exchange. At this point in the transaction (during the day at least), I am usually asked if I have a Dominick's card. I usually say 'no, I don't'... and then the, normally nice person at the register gives me a courtesy card that has saved me as much as $15 in the past. This is why I like Dominicks so much... the courtesy card. But rude Spanish woman didn't even ask if I had a Dominicks card and so, for 'bare essentials' purchased at 6:15 AM, the total was $116. Yet another reason why I hate the city. Everything is so freakin' expensive here! It might actually be less expensive for me to make the drive to KZoo, with a cooler in my car, and do my shopping there... hell, I'm already driving an hour out to the suburbs to save at least (and this is on average) $.10 per gallon on gas [At one point it was $.20 cents less in the burbs than close to me in the city]. Ridiculous! Stupid city! There's NO WAY I should be paying as much as I am for the one-room apartment I'm in! Everything here is over-priced! And, if I was making heaving capfuls of money, it wouldn't be a problem... but I'm not. Stupid capitalism.
Yesterday, like I said, I got pretty tired half-way through the day. I just decided to hit the hay and not set an alarm... see what happens! Well, I'll tell you what happens: I ended up sleeping all day. I slept from about 2:30 to 8. I apparently needed it. Unfortunately, here I am, Thursday morning... having not slept all night. My body is so fucked up... I eat irregularly, I sleep irregularly, and whenever I get back on track, something happens that messes me up again. If it's not an illness, it's mental or hanging out til all hours or just being an idiot. I'm not sure how to get my life back on a regular schedule... although, maybe, the job I'm seeking will do that for me (by 'maybe', I mean 'it will').
Raiders/Vikings trade of Randy Moss...? ESPN.com reports Randy Moss is headed to the Raiders here. This is just another reason why I will get to hate the Raiders (Warren Sapp's still there; Tim Brown and Jerry Rice are gone). I think the Raiders definitely got the better of this deal... as they will now have Jerry Porter on one side and Randy Moss on the other (say good-bye to Rich Gannon, by the way... they're building a big-play Kerry Collins team right now). The Vikings will no doubt use the first round pick on Braylon Edwards or Mike Williams (if they're available)... but are still in dire need of someone who can play defense. I've heard that the Vikings may shop one of their million running backs to get actual defensive help (read: Not Napoleon Harris). That would be a good move, I feel... as they have a million running backs just to make every fantasy football player hate their team. Yeah, and speaking of hating their team... it's going to be harder to do next year. With Moss on their team, it was easy to hate the Vikings. Now I'm mostly indifferent. I still hate Culpepper's "dance"... getting his "roll on" or whatever he's doing. It looks like he's having a seizure, is what it looks like he's doing. And if he did, I probably wouldn't mind. Yeah... I think I'll still be able to hate their stupid fans and annoying "horn" sound at their home games... but hating them just got a little tougher.
Speaking of sports, here's some BBC tennis pictures that are anything but ordinary. I don't know if there's anything I can say besides go check it out.
Late last night, I watched the infamous "Having a Baby" scene again. Honestly, watching those old shows again, I can't believe the audience sat through 20 minute scenes and shows that were HOURS long. But that stupid scene is still hilarious, and it always makes me wonder why I haven't tried to go back to it since. I couldn't do it here because it's too long, and I don't know that there's a way to shorten the scene. We could make it an audience participation scene, where we ask the audience for an emotion. The problem being that you never know what the audience is going to bring out as an emotion... I just don't think it's worth it.
Because I couldn't sleep, I did what any sane person would do: Early morning grocery shopping! The Dominick's near me is open 24 Hours a day... and I couldn't think of anything more productive to do at 5:30 in the morning than get groceries. Apparently I was alone in that thinking... horrifically alone. When I entered the store, I paused at the door to make sure that it wasn't a joke that they were open 24 hours. Even after I had pushed my way through the revolving door, I stood still in the entrance... waiting for a sign that this wasn't a joke. The parking lot had only contained a handful of cars... and I had gone shopping late at night before with at least twice the cars in the lot, but never this early in the morning. Once I saw a man in an apron restocking some oranges, I knew it was safe. I pulled out a shopping cart minus the cupholder and proceeded into the store. SIDENOTE: Since when did a cupholder become a coveted feature to have on a shopping cart? I can't go shopping in a place that doesn't have a stupid cupholder attached to all of their carts. I was lucky that no one was around and that Dominicks has a few carts without it. I mean, do people really go shopping thinking "Oh, this place has cupholders on their shopping carts. They always have MY best interests in mind--Looking out for me."? I find the cupholders to be totally annoying, and have to constantly adjust where my cart is lest I hit someone, something, or someplace with the gi-normous protruding cupholder. Stupid cupholders piss me off. And it's not like shopping is such long and barren process that one would HAVE to intake fluids while doing it or risk dehydration! "Must drink water... can't make it to... next... aisle!" COME ON!
Where was I? Oh... at the entrance, making this story as long as possible. Now I remember. Well, the rest of the story goes pretty quickly. Five o'clock is apparently the time to restock every single aisle. And I know that they have to restock the store at some point... but there was an employee in every aisle with boxes and crates full of food, making traversing the aisles difficult (but not as difficult as if I would have had a cupholder cart!). I think one of the most interesting aspects of the whole situation was that none of the employees even regarded me... no one talked to me or even really looked at me. If you were working at a grocery store at 5:30 in the morning, wouldn't you be curious enough about people who are doing grocery shopping at that time to at least stare impolitely at them? I would. And much of my shopping was uneventful simply because I was ignored by everyone in every aisle. I know I'm all about being alone, and I may have mentioned it being cool to go shopping in an empty store at one point (I'm almost certain I did), but that was an EMPTY store. There's something unnerving and uncool about shopping in a store with people as if there wasn't anyone there. The one time someone talked to me was in the frozen food section. I was getting a couple frozen pizzas for Ken's visit (just in case) and I moved out of the way of one of the guys who was about to stock the shelves with more pizzas. He said "Thank you, sir" and it made me feel good. Good in that he thanked me, and also in that I wasn't invisible to someone who worked there. Finally, as I went to check out, I approached the one lit up register with hesitation. I guess I wasn't fully convinced that I had just done my shopping and could actually pay for it. But the, uh, probably Spanish, woman waved me towards her. For some reason I really wanted to make a connection... probably because I had just been ignored for 45 minutes (yes, it still takes me a long time to do the shopping... too many choices easily overwhelms me). So I said hello and the woman asked how I was, to which I responded "Well, I'm awake. Ha ha." A nice person would have at least smiled. I am a customer. Do you know what I got from the checkout woman? A grunt. I got... a grunt. I knew at that point that there was no point in me even trying to talk to her, so I didn't for the rest of the exchange. At this point in the transaction (during the day at least), I am usually asked if I have a Dominick's card. I usually say 'no, I don't'... and then the, normally nice person at the register gives me a courtesy card that has saved me as much as $15 in the past. This is why I like Dominicks so much... the courtesy card. But rude Spanish woman didn't even ask if I had a Dominicks card and so, for 'bare essentials' purchased at 6:15 AM, the total was $116. Yet another reason why I hate the city. Everything is so freakin' expensive here! It might actually be less expensive for me to make the drive to KZoo, with a cooler in my car, and do my shopping there... hell, I'm already driving an hour out to the suburbs to save at least (and this is on average) $.10 per gallon on gas [At one point it was $.20 cents less in the burbs than close to me in the city]. Ridiculous! Stupid city! There's NO WAY I should be paying as much as I am for the one-room apartment I'm in! Everything here is over-priced! And, if I was making heaving capfuls of money, it wouldn't be a problem... but I'm not. Stupid capitalism.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Breakin' Legs
On tap for today: I'm still looking at the Reader's website and seeing what looks like interesting job opportunities. I'm also trying to get this apartment cleaned... I was talking to Adam about it last night and I think it's more about wanting to have a place to take Kim (should things actually go that well for once), than wanting this place to be cleaned weeks in advance for Ken. Sorry Ken. I hope to make significant strides with the cleaning project, especially since I'm finally done pulling out old home movies and quietly weeping to them (which didn't happen... the weeping bit, not the watching movies bit. I did that).
I also came up with an idea for a show the other day. I've wanted, for a long time, to write a one-man show about sanity and the perception of who is sane, what is insane, who is dangerously insane, etc. This springs forth from the loins of my horrific firing experience. But I finally decided that a one-man show is too heavy, and is what N. Matthew would call "self-indulgent bullshit." BUT, if it wasn't a one-man show... but rather was a collection of characters of different time periods, with different relationships, from different points-of-view... now I'm onto something. An unmarried 30-something woman goes home to a family that pushes her to get married; a witch trial of someone who just flat-out knows science; a moral man in an immoral society; some everyday American customs personified by someone stuck on an alien planet... the possibilities seem far more limitless, and I feel like the topic is something worth while. I was thinking about this when I got an email from my friend Katy who said she's still "looking for something to do." We were both in Mockupations together and she and I talked about both wanting to do a show with some real and deep meaning to it. I think exploring sanity is something that hasn't been done on the small stage in a while, and certainly not in the way I would do it. (Although I'm also thinking about trying to write a novel about two characters who take a road-trip out west and find themselves... so we'll see how much of this I actually get done [my guess is none]).
Today in the Reader I found an Administrative Assistant position for a place called Digital Bootcamp. I just finished their application which had interesting questions such as asking how many levels of persuasion I would go through to persuade someone who I knew to be wrong about how cranberries are harvested. Yeah. I said I'd go through four levels: "I would use my logic to try to persuade them; then I would ask a passer-by; then I would tell them to look it up; then I would try to look it up myself. So, four levels before I drop it." As part two of that question, it asked me what I would do if I found an article two weeks later that proved I was right. Here's my response to that: "I would show my acquaintance the article, watch them read it (to make sure they know the truth), gloat for approximately 10 seconds, then drop it completely. Although, if the person was particularly mean or rude about being 'right' in the first place and it got personal, I'd probably gloat in excess of five or six minutes. I'm only human." What a cool place to have questions like that on the application! So I'm pretty pumped about that whole thing... and it would be working in a place that focuses on TEACHING! One of my two wants! This company teaches people how to use different software applications from the basics (Mac, Windows, email, etc), to the more complicated (like Photoshop, Dreamweaver, and some bunch of letters smashed together that doesn't mean anything to me, but I'm sure they mean something to someone). I'm kind of excited about that whole thing. I hope I can get an interview, at the very least. I know they would love me, if I got that far... it's just making myself look good enough to warrant an interview. *shrug* So we'll see about that. I told them I would be interested in instructing eventually if I learned enough about the applications they taught.
But, oddly enough, the application was so unusual, and took so much mental exertion, that I actually feel tired. I might take a nap. What a super-huge loser I am!
By the way, it's opening night in Albion for Cabaret. Miss Laura Jeannine is making the trip from Wisconsin (good for her). I hope she drives carefully. And I hope everyone in that show breaks legs! Lots and lots of legs and cliched jokes... I hope they're all broken tonight. Right.
On tap for today: I'm still looking at the Reader's website and seeing what looks like interesting job opportunities. I'm also trying to get this apartment cleaned... I was talking to Adam about it last night and I think it's more about wanting to have a place to take Kim (should things actually go that well for once), than wanting this place to be cleaned weeks in advance for Ken. Sorry Ken. I hope to make significant strides with the cleaning project, especially since I'm finally done pulling out old home movies and quietly weeping to them (which didn't happen... the weeping bit, not the watching movies bit. I did that).
I also came up with an idea for a show the other day. I've wanted, for a long time, to write a one-man show about sanity and the perception of who is sane, what is insane, who is dangerously insane, etc. This springs forth from the loins of my horrific firing experience. But I finally decided that a one-man show is too heavy, and is what N. Matthew would call "self-indulgent bullshit." BUT, if it wasn't a one-man show... but rather was a collection of characters of different time periods, with different relationships, from different points-of-view... now I'm onto something. An unmarried 30-something woman goes home to a family that pushes her to get married; a witch trial of someone who just flat-out knows science; a moral man in an immoral society; some everyday American customs personified by someone stuck on an alien planet... the possibilities seem far more limitless, and I feel like the topic is something worth while. I was thinking about this when I got an email from my friend Katy who said she's still "looking for something to do." We were both in Mockupations together and she and I talked about both wanting to do a show with some real and deep meaning to it. I think exploring sanity is something that hasn't been done on the small stage in a while, and certainly not in the way I would do it. (Although I'm also thinking about trying to write a novel about two characters who take a road-trip out west and find themselves... so we'll see how much of this I actually get done [my guess is none]).
Today in the Reader I found an Administrative Assistant position for a place called Digital Bootcamp. I just finished their application which had interesting questions such as asking how many levels of persuasion I would go through to persuade someone who I knew to be wrong about how cranberries are harvested. Yeah. I said I'd go through four levels: "I would use my logic to try to persuade them; then I would ask a passer-by; then I would tell them to look it up; then I would try to look it up myself. So, four levels before I drop it." As part two of that question, it asked me what I would do if I found an article two weeks later that proved I was right. Here's my response to that: "I would show my acquaintance the article, watch them read it (to make sure they know the truth), gloat for approximately 10 seconds, then drop it completely. Although, if the person was particularly mean or rude about being 'right' in the first place and it got personal, I'd probably gloat in excess of five or six minutes. I'm only human." What a cool place to have questions like that on the application! So I'm pretty pumped about that whole thing... and it would be working in a place that focuses on TEACHING! One of my two wants! This company teaches people how to use different software applications from the basics (Mac, Windows, email, etc), to the more complicated (like Photoshop, Dreamweaver, and some bunch of letters smashed together that doesn't mean anything to me, but I'm sure they mean something to someone). I'm kind of excited about that whole thing. I hope I can get an interview, at the very least. I know they would love me, if I got that far... it's just making myself look good enough to warrant an interview. *shrug* So we'll see about that. I told them I would be interested in instructing eventually if I learned enough about the applications they taught.
But, oddly enough, the application was so unusual, and took so much mental exertion, that I actually feel tired. I might take a nap. What a super-huge loser I am!
By the way, it's opening night in Albion for Cabaret. Miss Laura Jeannine is making the trip from Wisconsin (good for her). I hope she drives carefully. And I hope everyone in that show breaks legs! Lots and lots of legs and cliched jokes... I hope they're all broken tonight. Right.
Facing Demons... and Other Daily Metaphors
Awww... snicker doodles? Do I need to extend my comments section so that everyone can say what they want to say without having to post twice? Um... too bad. Not only would I not do that if I could... but also I can't... do... that. I don't know how. Maybe you should just post smaller things more frequently. Or maybe you've learned your long-winded writing style from watching me. One of those things is true.
Well... as you can tell, another late night for me. But this time it's because I was out, and not because I found myself wallowing, neck deep, in self pity. I went to Adam's tonight, and we just ended up hanging out with Chip and Owen... talking, drinking, ordering an obscene amount of Chinese food for 11 o'clock at night... and just generally livin' it up! I love talking to Chip and Owen... because I have no idea where the conversation is going to end up, but you can bet it's the most intellectual conversation about whatever mundane topic we land on in the history of conversations. It was good.
And it balanced the emotional day I had been having up until that point. I had single-handedly pulled two people down to my emotional state (Delaware!) earlier in the day... one actually about the other, ironically enough. But something happened today that should have happened a long time ago, and I'm not sure what I was waiting for. Oh wait... yes I do. Hmm... this is one of those things that I don't share with you loyal readers. Yes, as honest as this blog is... there is, in fact, juicy stuff that I don't let you know. And this, dear reader, is one of those times. But I can say that a reconnection was made today that's been a long time coming... and I think both of us will probably be better off for it. Heh... we'll see soon enough, won't we kids? G.Damnit I hate being cryptic! Maybe I'll just get some sleep... my sleep patterns have been butchered enough for one week.
Oh... by the way, I took Big J's advice and I sent out my resume via email today. There's one place in particular that I'm looking to hear back from. It's supposedly a full-time, data entry/computer skills required clerical support position at an engineering firm. They said casual dress... and I can certainly handle the computer part. We'll see. BTW II, J Dub, they're auditioning for "Forever Plaid" here in Chicago... but it's a weekend I was planning on going home. Is it worth me cutting short my vacation to audition? Holla back, playa!
Awww... snicker doodles? Do I need to extend my comments section so that everyone can say what they want to say without having to post twice? Um... too bad. Not only would I not do that if I could... but also I can't... do... that. I don't know how. Maybe you should just post smaller things more frequently. Or maybe you've learned your long-winded writing style from watching me. One of those things is true.
Well... as you can tell, another late night for me. But this time it's because I was out, and not because I found myself wallowing, neck deep, in self pity. I went to Adam's tonight, and we just ended up hanging out with Chip and Owen... talking, drinking, ordering an obscene amount of Chinese food for 11 o'clock at night... and just generally livin' it up! I love talking to Chip and Owen... because I have no idea where the conversation is going to end up, but you can bet it's the most intellectual conversation about whatever mundane topic we land on in the history of conversations. It was good.
And it balanced the emotional day I had been having up until that point. I had single-handedly pulled two people down to my emotional state (Delaware!) earlier in the day... one actually about the other, ironically enough. But something happened today that should have happened a long time ago, and I'm not sure what I was waiting for. Oh wait... yes I do. Hmm... this is one of those things that I don't share with you loyal readers. Yes, as honest as this blog is... there is, in fact, juicy stuff that I don't let you know. And this, dear reader, is one of those times. But I can say that a reconnection was made today that's been a long time coming... and I think both of us will probably be better off for it. Heh... we'll see soon enough, won't we kids? G.Damnit I hate being cryptic! Maybe I'll just get some sleep... my sleep patterns have been butchered enough for one week.
Oh... by the way, I took Big J's advice and I sent out my resume via email today. There's one place in particular that I'm looking to hear back from. It's supposedly a full-time, data entry/computer skills required clerical support position at an engineering firm. They said casual dress... and I can certainly handle the computer part. We'll see. BTW II, J Dub, they're auditioning for "Forever Plaid" here in Chicago... but it's a weekend I was planning on going home. Is it worth me cutting short my vacation to audition? Holla back, playa!
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
The Ophelia Project
I just finally sat down and watched the Ophelia Project for the first time since... well... probably the summer of '03. I had been putting it off for so long, fearing... well, I guess fearing the feelings and emotions that would most probably burst like a dam while watching it. Better times... happier times... people lost to me. *shakes head* You know what I ended up thinking the whole time I watched it? I thought "I'm not very good." Ha! Yeah... all those feelings I was worried about prodding with a red hot poker, which is what I thought watching it again would do to me... and the best I can do is "I could have done that better." All the emotions I felt as Hamlet... everything I felt like I was going through on stage... and almost zero percent of it read to the audience, even in that small space. Even sitting here, being able to say most of my lines with myself, feeling what I felt when I did it on stage... but still not SEEING it. And I don't think I'm just being harsh on myself... I looked amateur, terrible. Maybe people like me won't ever be happy... maybe we're not meant to be happy, as it would be a flat out denial of who we really are: cynical perfectionists.
When I was younger, I used to hope and pray that I wouldn't end up unhappy like my father. I told myself that I was going to make sure that I LOVED my job, and I told myself that I owed that much to myself and my family (whoever that would be in the future). But now, as I get closer to all that... maybe I'm not going to be happy regardless of what I choose to do. Even if I start off loving it, it'll turn into something that I'll try to put off as long as I can... like my dad does. Staying up late, waking up early... because he'd rather have fun first and then get done what needs to be done at the last possible minute. I told myself, I SWORE to myself that I'd never turn out like that... now I can't think of a job out there that WON'T make me feel like that; do those things; be that man. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my dad... more than anything else... but I always noticed something inherently sad about him. Someone at the Second City said something like "Nobody does comedy because their life is perfect. We're all pretty fucked up." The comedy, the humor, hides so much pain... and I'll give my dad one thing: he gave me the ability to hide it better than most.
And I'll give myself one thing: I also watched "The Three Dollar Horror Film" again. It was from one of the plays Kyle and I did... and it was the first full scene that I wrote myself. First of all, the scene is seriously like 20 minutes. I don't know how the audience sat through that crap for that long. Secondly, even though I'm a complete bastard to myself, I can sit and say "Wow... you were really good in that. That's really funny... and you're in total command of that stage." What does that mean?
Honestly, I'm not just asking myself this time... what does that mean? Hey! Remember when Ken used to act?! That was before he "defended" our freedom from folk who weren't trying to take it from us. I love ya, Kenny... but it must feel like a really long time ago that you acted. It was literally a lifetime ago. And I've changed the subject because I was afraid of where the conversation was going. Give yourself a gold star if you didn't need me to tell you that.
I don't know what it means that I can applaud my comedy, but trash my tragedy. Perhaps I have higher dramatic standards... perhaps comedy is easier than drama... perhaps I secretly hate and love myself... perhaps that last one isn't really a secret... I don't know, you tell me. You're the smart one here. I'm just here for the food. Perhaps it's a good thing that I didn't curl into a fetal ball (ouch!) and cry while rocking back and forth when I watched the Ophelia Project. My actual body position is probably best described as sitting, arms crossed, shaking my head back and forth, occationally exclaiming "wow" or "come on" while watching myself. And I never gave Karen credit. She carried that show... and I was too busy wrapped up in loving and hating myself to even notice the command with which she took and held that stage. For not noticing something that amazing, I would have dumped me too. All I can say now is I'm sorry.
I just finally sat down and watched the Ophelia Project for the first time since... well... probably the summer of '03. I had been putting it off for so long, fearing... well, I guess fearing the feelings and emotions that would most probably burst like a dam while watching it. Better times... happier times... people lost to me. *shakes head* You know what I ended up thinking the whole time I watched it? I thought "I'm not very good." Ha! Yeah... all those feelings I was worried about prodding with a red hot poker, which is what I thought watching it again would do to me... and the best I can do is "I could have done that better." All the emotions I felt as Hamlet... everything I felt like I was going through on stage... and almost zero percent of it read to the audience, even in that small space. Even sitting here, being able to say most of my lines with myself, feeling what I felt when I did it on stage... but still not SEEING it. And I don't think I'm just being harsh on myself... I looked amateur, terrible. Maybe people like me won't ever be happy... maybe we're not meant to be happy, as it would be a flat out denial of who we really are: cynical perfectionists.
When I was younger, I used to hope and pray that I wouldn't end up unhappy like my father. I told myself that I was going to make sure that I LOVED my job, and I told myself that I owed that much to myself and my family (whoever that would be in the future). But now, as I get closer to all that... maybe I'm not going to be happy regardless of what I choose to do. Even if I start off loving it, it'll turn into something that I'll try to put off as long as I can... like my dad does. Staying up late, waking up early... because he'd rather have fun first and then get done what needs to be done at the last possible minute. I told myself, I SWORE to myself that I'd never turn out like that... now I can't think of a job out there that WON'T make me feel like that; do those things; be that man. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my dad... more than anything else... but I always noticed something inherently sad about him. Someone at the Second City said something like "Nobody does comedy because their life is perfect. We're all pretty fucked up." The comedy, the humor, hides so much pain... and I'll give my dad one thing: he gave me the ability to hide it better than most.
And I'll give myself one thing: I also watched "The Three Dollar Horror Film" again. It was from one of the plays Kyle and I did... and it was the first full scene that I wrote myself. First of all, the scene is seriously like 20 minutes. I don't know how the audience sat through that crap for that long. Secondly, even though I'm a complete bastard to myself, I can sit and say "Wow... you were really good in that. That's really funny... and you're in total command of that stage." What does that mean?
Honestly, I'm not just asking myself this time... what does that mean? Hey! Remember when Ken used to act?! That was before he "defended" our freedom from folk who weren't trying to take it from us. I love ya, Kenny... but it must feel like a really long time ago that you acted. It was literally a lifetime ago. And I've changed the subject because I was afraid of where the conversation was going. Give yourself a gold star if you didn't need me to tell you that.
I don't know what it means that I can applaud my comedy, but trash my tragedy. Perhaps I have higher dramatic standards... perhaps comedy is easier than drama... perhaps I secretly hate and love myself... perhaps that last one isn't really a secret... I don't know, you tell me. You're the smart one here. I'm just here for the food. Perhaps it's a good thing that I didn't curl into a fetal ball (ouch!) and cry while rocking back and forth when I watched the Ophelia Project. My actual body position is probably best described as sitting, arms crossed, shaking my head back and forth, occationally exclaiming "wow" or "come on" while watching myself. And I never gave Karen credit. She carried that show... and I was too busy wrapped up in loving and hating myself to even notice the command with which she took and held that stage. For not noticing something that amazing, I would have dumped me too. All I can say now is I'm sorry.
Monday, February 21, 2005
At one point, Kim and I somehow got on the topic of the Badlands. I have SO many good pictures of the Badlands... and I honestly think it's the most beautiful place I've ever been. I love it there. Here's a picture I took of Nick, who was taking video while I took this picture. Honestly, all you have to do is point the camera and shoot in the Badlands and you'll get a beautiful picture--Nature does all the work.
Posted by Hello
See what I said about just pointing your camera and getting a beautiful picture? I used this as a desktop for a couple months... simply breath-taking. Email me if you want the full picture to use as a desktop.
Posted by Hello
Impressing Big Chris... And Other Things I Didn't Do
Today was spent going to the bank and doing some miscellaneous errands (one of which was running my lines about twenty times for the show). I think I just needed another day of trying to get things in order and a night of watching old home-movies and balling my eyes out (if I can... it's my plan for after I finish blogging!) before I sent out my resumes to be rejected. I actually have a pretty good "line" on a company that does Information Technology [paid] internships... so that's probably where I'll start tomorrow.
But as for tonight (and the title)... tonight was yet another "Sweet Pumpkin Pie..." rehearsal. All the actors were there early, running lines, except for Kim. Her mom is in town, and Kim and her mom showed up almost right at 7. Ironically enough, just as Joe Janes asked aloud, "So we're waiting for Kim and her mom?" and I said "Yeah we're waiting for her mom!"... that's when Kim decided to come in, exclaiming "I heard that." I felt slightly embarrassed... but kind of like it was a good thing. When trying to woo someone (I have tons of experience on this, trust me), it's always best to let them see how stupid you are as soon as possible. Then, if they're still interested, when they've already seen you at your mental worst... you must have a good thing going, right? Yeah... I'm easily the dumbest person in this room right now. *looks around* Okay... we're all in agreement. Next. Oh yeah! Chris! Okay... so Kim's mom is one of those "Call me Chris" moms. That's cool... but totally not how I'm going to be. "It's Mr. Steeno" is how I'll introduce myself to my children's friends... no matter how old my children are. And, if I were to ever receive an honorary doctorate? WATCH OUT! I'm going to be one of those huge pricks that forces everyone to call me "Dr. Steeno" even though it really doesn't apply. I'm awesome. Anyway... so we started rehearsal and Kim looked really quiet nice... she was "decked out" (as my dad would say) because her mom was there, I'm sure. That has nothing to do with anything... okay. Anyway, so I didn't get a chance to chat with Chris before we started the run of the show. But, after one of my scenes, and before I scene I'm not in, I was able to ask where in Connecticut they're from. And then later, when Kim and I were both not in a scene, I asked her what she does for a living. She's a High School English teacher! So I told her that I majored in English in college... and that's when Kim told her mom that I don't know what amenable means. And, yes, I know I just linked to the definition... and I DO know what it means NOW, but our first read-thru of the show, one of my characters says it, and I not only didn't know what it meant, I didn't know how it was pronounced. So, at the time, I just leaned over to Kim and said "What's this word?" And she said "amenable." And I said "I'd better write down the pronunciation so I remember it"... and then I wrote "amenable"... because it's pronounced exactly how it's spelled. Kim thought that was hilarious (and that's kind of the first time I thought I had a chance with this lovely young lady). So, yes, I had to admit to her mother that I didn't know what that word meant, and I added "At least I know enough to ask if I don't know something"... which didn't get a response from either of them. And then I said "You should probably mention that I didn't know how it was pronounced either"... and Kim laughed and said "that was my first clue you didn't know what it meant" or something to that effect. I know this sounds stupid... but I had this great vision of meeting Kim's mom and having her think I was the greatest thing ever and... you know... having an "in" there. Parents of people LOVE me! I get along with everyone's parents... and they LOVE me! But not only did I NOT get that connection with Kim's mom, she thinks I'm some idiot who doesn't know simple, four syllable words. Nice. I hope I get to meet her dad someday... maybe we'll argue about gun control, or he'll be an avid golfer, or he'll be a business man who treats people like numbers, or something else equally counter to my being. *shakes head* Yes, I'm getting ahead of myself, as she and I haven't even gone on a date yet... but I DID just meet her mom, so I can't help thinking stupid thoughts like "I'm an idiot" or "Viagra won't help me." Typical stuff. I think I'm going to post a picture tonight, too. To make me feel better about things. Ooo! And I have old home-movies to watch and cry to! I almost forgot! Gotta go... have a good night, all!
Today was spent going to the bank and doing some miscellaneous errands (one of which was running my lines about twenty times for the show). I think I just needed another day of trying to get things in order and a night of watching old home-movies and balling my eyes out (if I can... it's my plan for after I finish blogging!) before I sent out my resumes to be rejected. I actually have a pretty good "line" on a company that does Information Technology [paid] internships... so that's probably where I'll start tomorrow.
But as for tonight (and the title)... tonight was yet another "Sweet Pumpkin Pie..." rehearsal. All the actors were there early, running lines, except for Kim. Her mom is in town, and Kim and her mom showed up almost right at 7. Ironically enough, just as Joe Janes asked aloud, "So we're waiting for Kim and her mom?" and I said "Yeah we're waiting for her mom!"... that's when Kim decided to come in, exclaiming "I heard that." I felt slightly embarrassed... but kind of like it was a good thing. When trying to woo someone (I have tons of experience on this, trust me), it's always best to let them see how stupid you are as soon as possible. Then, if they're still interested, when they've already seen you at your mental worst... you must have a good thing going, right? Yeah... I'm easily the dumbest person in this room right now. *looks around* Okay... we're all in agreement. Next. Oh yeah! Chris! Okay... so Kim's mom is one of those "Call me Chris" moms. That's cool... but totally not how I'm going to be. "It's Mr. Steeno" is how I'll introduce myself to my children's friends... no matter how old my children are. And, if I were to ever receive an honorary doctorate? WATCH OUT! I'm going to be one of those huge pricks that forces everyone to call me "Dr. Steeno" even though it really doesn't apply. I'm awesome. Anyway... so we started rehearsal and Kim looked really quiet nice... she was "decked out" (as my dad would say) because her mom was there, I'm sure. That has nothing to do with anything... okay. Anyway, so I didn't get a chance to chat with Chris before we started the run of the show. But, after one of my scenes, and before I scene I'm not in, I was able to ask where in Connecticut they're from. And then later, when Kim and I were both not in a scene, I asked her what she does for a living. She's a High School English teacher! So I told her that I majored in English in college... and that's when Kim told her mom that I don't know what amenable means. And, yes, I know I just linked to the definition... and I DO know what it means NOW, but our first read-thru of the show, one of my characters says it, and I not only didn't know what it meant, I didn't know how it was pronounced. So, at the time, I just leaned over to Kim and said "What's this word?" And she said "amenable." And I said "I'd better write down the pronunciation so I remember it"... and then I wrote "amenable"... because it's pronounced exactly how it's spelled. Kim thought that was hilarious (and that's kind of the first time I thought I had a chance with this lovely young lady). So, yes, I had to admit to her mother that I didn't know what that word meant, and I added "At least I know enough to ask if I don't know something"... which didn't get a response from either of them. And then I said "You should probably mention that I didn't know how it was pronounced either"... and Kim laughed and said "that was my first clue you didn't know what it meant" or something to that effect. I know this sounds stupid... but I had this great vision of meeting Kim's mom and having her think I was the greatest thing ever and... you know... having an "in" there. Parents of people LOVE me! I get along with everyone's parents... and they LOVE me! But not only did I NOT get that connection with Kim's mom, she thinks I'm some idiot who doesn't know simple, four syllable words. Nice. I hope I get to meet her dad someday... maybe we'll argue about gun control, or he'll be an avid golfer, or he'll be a business man who treats people like numbers, or something else equally counter to my being. *shakes head* Yes, I'm getting ahead of myself, as she and I haven't even gone on a date yet... but I DID just meet her mom, so I can't help thinking stupid thoughts like "I'm an idiot" or "Viagra won't help me." Typical stuff. I think I'm going to post a picture tonight, too. To make me feel better about things. Ooo! And I have old home-movies to watch and cry to! I almost forgot! Gotta go... have a good night, all!
Email My Posts!
In a continued effort to broaden my audience, I've added something to my blog: The ability for you, the reader, to email anything I post to a friend. I figure this way, if you see something that you think a friend of yours would find funny (but they don't know me), you can share the funny with them directly. (And maybe I'll get people who don't know me to read this... but I doubt it) I think it's a neato keen idea. But it's frequency of use is up to you.
In a continued effort to broaden my audience, I've added something to my blog: The ability for you, the reader, to email anything I post to a friend. I figure this way, if you see something that you think a friend of yours would find funny (but they don't know me), you can share the funny with them directly. (And maybe I'll get people who don't know me to read this... but I doubt it) I think it's a neato keen idea. But it's frequency of use is up to you.
Happy President's Day!
Here's a list of 20 random facts about former (and current) Presidents of the United States. I basically just copied and pasted it from MSN here (although MSN wasn't presented to you with "Crazytary"):
1. In warm weather, 6th president of the United States John Quincy Adams customarily went skinny-dipping in the Potomac River before dawn. (A pioneer, Adams was the first man to blame shrinkage on the temperature of water)
2. 9th U.S. president William Henry Harrison was inaugurated on a bitterly cold day and gave the longest inauguration speech ever. The new president promptly caught a cold that soon developed into pneumonia. Harrison died exactly one month into his presidential term, the shortest in U.S. history. (Who didn't know this?)
3. John Tyler, 10th U.S. president, fathered 15 children (more than any other president)--8 by his first wife, and 7 by his second wife. Tyler was past his seventieth birthday when his 15th child was born. (Tyler was Bill Clinton's idol. Zing!)
4. Sedated only by brandy, 11th president of the United States James Polk survived gall bladder surgery at the age of 17. (Ironically enough, Polk later became an advocate of prohibition, saying "Alcohol leads only to pain. Excruciating pain.")
5. 15th U.S. president James Buchanan is the only unmarried man ever to be elected president. Buchanan was engaged to be married once; however, his fiancée died suddenly after breaking off the engagement, and he remained a bachelor all his life. (James Buchanan, our first gay president)
6. Often depicted wearing a tall black stovepipe hat, 16th president of the United States Abraham Lincoln carried letters, bills, and notes in his hat. (Little do you know, Lincoln is still alive. That fateful day at Ford's Theatre, Booth shot the jelly sandwich Lincoln had hidden in his hat)
7. 17th U.S. president Andrew Johnson never attended school. His future wife, Eliza McCardle, taught him to write at the age of 17. (Bonus fact about Andrew Johnson: He only wore suits that he custom-tailored himself.) [That bonus fact wasn't from me... but this one is: Supplemental Bonus fact about Andrew Johnson: He was the first ever Broccoli Queen of Jackson County, Michigan]
8. Ulysses S. Grant, 18th president of the United States, died of throat cancer. During his life, Grant had smoked about 20 cigars per day. (Grant's one regret... not living long enough to see Kevin Kline's portrayal of him in the movie Wild Wild West)
9. Both ambidextrous and multilingual, 20th president of the United States James Garfield could write Greek with one hand while writing Latin with the other. (Sadly, Garfield couldn't read either of those languages, and he died before ever figuring out what his hands were trying to tell him.)
10. Grover Cleveland, 22nd and 24th president of the United States, underwent a secret operation aboard a yacht to remove his cancerous upper jaw in 1893. (How secret could this operation really be, if Cleveland had his upper jaw removed? "There's something different about your mouth today, President Cleveland." "Mmuwavah Paawvah Booah!")
11. The teddy bear derived from 26th U.S. president Theodore ("Teddy") Roosevelt's refusal to shoot a bear with her cub while on a hunting trip in Mississippi. (When asked why he didn't shot the bear, Roosevelt responded "It was holding a heart that said 'I love you' and, when I squeezed its paw, it sang to me. I just couldn't do it")
12. William Taft, 27th president of the United States, weighed more than 300 pounds and had a special oversized bathtub installed in the White House. (Taft is Limbaugh's idol. Zing!)
13. Warren Harding, 29th U.S. president, played poker at least twice a week, and once gambled away an entire set of White House china. His advisors were nicknamed the "Poker Cabinet" because they joined the president in his poker games. (Even though everyone thinks we bought Alaska from the Russians, Harding actually won it in a Poker game. And much of the Western side of Canada... which neither Russia nor the United States wanted, but both sides thought would be funny to give to England. I speak, of course, of British Columbia)
14. Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of the United States, had chronic stomach pain and required 10 to 11 hours of sleep and an afternoon nap every day. (Coolidge is Bush's idol. Zing!)
15. Herbert Hoover, 31st U.S. president, published more than 16 books, including one called Fishing for Fun-And to Wash Your Soul. (The books sucked so much, Hoover became synonymous with vacuuming)
16. 32nd president of the United States Franklin D. Roosevelt was related, either by blood or by marriage, to 11 former presidents. (Needless to say, Roosevelt was from Kentucky. Zing!)
17. The letter "S" comprises the full middle name of the 33rd president, Harry S. Truman. It represents two of his grandfathers, whose names both had "S" in them. (Truman's parents were so shocked by the fantastic odds against both of their fathers having an "S" in their name somewhere, that they couldn't do anything BUT name little Harry, Harry 'S')
18. Military leader and 34th president of the U.S. Dwight D. Eisenhower loved to cook; he developed a recipe for vegetable soup that is 894 words long and includes the stems of nasturtium flowers as one of the ingredients. (Eisenhower's recipe also called for two heaving cupfuls of something he called "Ike", because he knew everyone had such an affinity for it)
19. 40th president of the United States Ronald Reagan broke the so-called "20-year curse," in which every president elected in a year ending in 0 died in office. (A brave man, while in office Reagan also took a stand against what he called "stupid, far-fetched curses")
20. George W. Bush, 43rd president of the United States, and his wife Laura got married just three months after meeting each other. (When asked about it, Bush responded "I think three months is enough to ensure that there could never be any destruction of the sanctity of a marriage union that could EVER occur in THIS relationship. After three months, you know a person pretty dog-gone good.")
Here's a list of 20 random facts about former (and current) Presidents of the United States. I basically just copied and pasted it from MSN here (although MSN wasn't presented to you with "Crazytary"):
1. In warm weather, 6th president of the United States John Quincy Adams customarily went skinny-dipping in the Potomac River before dawn. (A pioneer, Adams was the first man to blame shrinkage on the temperature of water)
2. 9th U.S. president William Henry Harrison was inaugurated on a bitterly cold day and gave the longest inauguration speech ever. The new president promptly caught a cold that soon developed into pneumonia. Harrison died exactly one month into his presidential term, the shortest in U.S. history. (Who didn't know this?)
3. John Tyler, 10th U.S. president, fathered 15 children (more than any other president)--8 by his first wife, and 7 by his second wife. Tyler was past his seventieth birthday when his 15th child was born. (Tyler was Bill Clinton's idol. Zing!)
4. Sedated only by brandy, 11th president of the United States James Polk survived gall bladder surgery at the age of 17. (Ironically enough, Polk later became an advocate of prohibition, saying "Alcohol leads only to pain. Excruciating pain.")
5. 15th U.S. president James Buchanan is the only unmarried man ever to be elected president. Buchanan was engaged to be married once; however, his fiancée died suddenly after breaking off the engagement, and he remained a bachelor all his life. (James Buchanan, our first gay president)
6. Often depicted wearing a tall black stovepipe hat, 16th president of the United States Abraham Lincoln carried letters, bills, and notes in his hat. (Little do you know, Lincoln is still alive. That fateful day at Ford's Theatre, Booth shot the jelly sandwich Lincoln had hidden in his hat)
7. 17th U.S. president Andrew Johnson never attended school. His future wife, Eliza McCardle, taught him to write at the age of 17. (Bonus fact about Andrew Johnson: He only wore suits that he custom-tailored himself.) [That bonus fact wasn't from me... but this one is: Supplemental Bonus fact about Andrew Johnson: He was the first ever Broccoli Queen of Jackson County, Michigan]
8. Ulysses S. Grant, 18th president of the United States, died of throat cancer. During his life, Grant had smoked about 20 cigars per day. (Grant's one regret... not living long enough to see Kevin Kline's portrayal of him in the movie Wild Wild West)
9. Both ambidextrous and multilingual, 20th president of the United States James Garfield could write Greek with one hand while writing Latin with the other. (Sadly, Garfield couldn't read either of those languages, and he died before ever figuring out what his hands were trying to tell him.)
10. Grover Cleveland, 22nd and 24th president of the United States, underwent a secret operation aboard a yacht to remove his cancerous upper jaw in 1893. (How secret could this operation really be, if Cleveland had his upper jaw removed? "There's something different about your mouth today, President Cleveland." "Mmuwavah Paawvah Booah!")
11. The teddy bear derived from 26th U.S. president Theodore ("Teddy") Roosevelt's refusal to shoot a bear with her cub while on a hunting trip in Mississippi. (When asked why he didn't shot the bear, Roosevelt responded "It was holding a heart that said 'I love you' and, when I squeezed its paw, it sang to me. I just couldn't do it")
12. William Taft, 27th president of the United States, weighed more than 300 pounds and had a special oversized bathtub installed in the White House. (Taft is Limbaugh's idol. Zing!)
13. Warren Harding, 29th U.S. president, played poker at least twice a week, and once gambled away an entire set of White House china. His advisors were nicknamed the "Poker Cabinet" because they joined the president in his poker games. (Even though everyone thinks we bought Alaska from the Russians, Harding actually won it in a Poker game. And much of the Western side of Canada... which neither Russia nor the United States wanted, but both sides thought would be funny to give to England. I speak, of course, of British Columbia)
14. Calvin Coolidge, 30th president of the United States, had chronic stomach pain and required 10 to 11 hours of sleep and an afternoon nap every day. (Coolidge is Bush's idol. Zing!)
15. Herbert Hoover, 31st U.S. president, published more than 16 books, including one called Fishing for Fun-And to Wash Your Soul. (The books sucked so much, Hoover became synonymous with vacuuming)
16. 32nd president of the United States Franklin D. Roosevelt was related, either by blood or by marriage, to 11 former presidents. (Needless to say, Roosevelt was from Kentucky. Zing!)
17. The letter "S" comprises the full middle name of the 33rd president, Harry S. Truman. It represents two of his grandfathers, whose names both had "S" in them. (Truman's parents were so shocked by the fantastic odds against both of their fathers having an "S" in their name somewhere, that they couldn't do anything BUT name little Harry, Harry 'S')
18. Military leader and 34th president of the U.S. Dwight D. Eisenhower loved to cook; he developed a recipe for vegetable soup that is 894 words long and includes the stems of nasturtium flowers as one of the ingredients. (Eisenhower's recipe also called for two heaving cupfuls of something he called "Ike", because he knew everyone had such an affinity for it)
19. 40th president of the United States Ronald Reagan broke the so-called "20-year curse," in which every president elected in a year ending in 0 died in office. (A brave man, while in office Reagan also took a stand against what he called "stupid, far-fetched curses")
20. George W. Bush, 43rd president of the United States, and his wife Laura got married just three months after meeting each other. (When asked about it, Bush responded "I think three months is enough to ensure that there could never be any destruction of the sanctity of a marriage union that could EVER occur in THIS relationship. After three months, you know a person pretty dog-gone good.")
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Sick Blogging
Hey kids. It's Way-Late O'clock here in Chicago... and I've already tried unsuccessfully to get to sleep tonight. I feel pretty sick, with my throat feeling very sore and my stomach totally hurting. I refuse to believe that Kim could have gotten me sick, because I don't want to believe that someone you like can get you sick without exchanging oral fluids. Or at least doing something fun... that would balance the whole "sickness" feeling.
I spent some time today cleaning my apartment. Not so much time that you can really tell I did anything, but enough time so that I felt like I spent too much time for the results I got. I hope that makes sense to someone. Anyway, my clothing is all organized: instead of being in one huge dirty clothes pile, it's in two, large dirty clothes hampers. I'm looking forward to going home one of the next two weekends to wash them for free (maybe I'll talk about money later... but it's less expensive to drive home and do all my laundry, than it is to do it in my building. No joke). I also spent a sizeable amount of time working on my wall of pictures in my front hall-way. Maybe this is why I feel like I spent too much time... because I would really take my time looking at them and figuring out which pictures I wanted up. The pictures now extend all the way from my door to the end of the entrance wall (quite a feat, if you've seen my place). I honestly can't wait to show someone... but I will have to wait, because I never invite anyone to my apartment and Ken will be the first one to see it when he visits in two weeks (probably)[not probably he'll visit, probably he'll be the first one to see it].
I still have a lot of work to do to clean this apartment. My mom thinks it will make me feel better about going out and begging for jobs... like I'll have someplace nice to come home to. Maybe she's right... but that's my mom for you. I'm sure she would also like to remedy my joblessness with some kind of cookie or a bunch of fruit (which, oddly enough, is on the way from my mom. Not the cookies, a box of various fruit [apples, oranges, and pears]). If only all the world's troubles could be fixed by cleaning your apartment or eating fruit... I'd be all set. Perhaps there's a very deep metaphor in all this that I'm missing... ? But I'll just continue to think my mom is crazy, if it's all the same to everyone else.
Huh. Just so everyone knows... I'm almost positive I just heard a gunshot. Cool.
Anyway... where was I? I think I was sick and babbling on and on about myself. Okay good... I remember now. What sucks is that tomorrow (Sunday), I'm supposed to drive out to Keith's to help him work on this thing for a golf convention Thursday. He was asked to do a couple sketches... and he asked me to help. That doesn't suck... that's really cool of him, and I'm happy to do it... what sucks is that it's raining here. And the rain is supposed to give way to snow sometime tonight. And then that frozen rain/snow mixture is going to be dumped on by more rain tomorrow morning. Best case scenario, the rain in the morning will melt the ice and snow. Worst case scenario, the rain will just add to the hazard of the ice and snow. So I kind of want to tell Keith that I don't feel comfortable risking the drive. But Sunday is the only day I can go out there and help him. So now what?
Additionally, though this has nothing to do with anything, I am most seriously out of money. Remember how I said that I had enough to get by and yadda yadda? Well... I've now run out. I'm happy that I've made it this far... but now I need money, badly. After I pay these two bills before the first of next month, I will probably have about $20-30 in my account. Which brings me back to driving home sometime soon. I have to ask my folks for money. Yeah. And I also have to get a job... which I'm hesitant to do until Ken gets here, because I don't want to have to start work while he's here on vacation.
Do you remember being happy? Being truly happy? I think some people out there probably don't have to remember it as a thing of the past... but looking through my pictures tonight confirmed that, for me, it's been a long time. I remember waking up happy... taking in that first deep breath of the day, as if drinking in the deliciousness of the air. And the air was delicious; it was clean and fresh... and it made me anticipate an exciting day full of possibilities. Now I wake up and hit the snooze... because I'd really rather be sleeping than be awake. If I have class at night, I don't want to do anything during the day... because I'd really rather not be going to class at night. The whole day seems wasted, as I try to build up the energy to force myself to go to class. It not like the classes are bad... they're just hard. And they're not fun. Somewhere along the line, someone decided to take all the fun out of improv and make it a job. A job that revels in demolishing ones ego and confidence... making one feel as stupid as is humanly possible. There seems to be a very delicate balance between "making it up as you go along" and "following the rules." For someone like me, the following rules part is the easy part. But, if you follow all the rules, there's really nothing creative that is produced as a result.
I remember feeling important. I remember times when it felt like what I did, said, or thought mattered. I think that's why a lot of people have children (which is sad, but true)... because, no matter what happens outside of your household, what you do, say, and think is very important to your children. And, the more desperate the parent is to be important (to have "power" too), the more controlling they are with their children. I think, in some ways, this period of my life is very important. I'm feeling desperation... real, honest, desperation for the first time in my life. I'll do anything to get on that stage and get noticed... but I also want to follow the rules and be good at what I'm doing, so there is a struggle between being noticed and fitting in with my group. I've actually had an improv group approach me about joining them and I haven't said anything in response yet. I need to do that... I need to tell them that I'm not interested. While I would love the experience with people who are actually going to be out DOING something (as opposed to a lot of the people I know who are, by all accounts, going nowhere), I feel like I'm better than the people in that group. They would be dragging me down... and, because of talking with Chris after Basically Awesome, I HAVE to keep in mind that I'm only as good as the people around me. If I settle for an improv group because I need the practice, I'm really doing myself a disservice.
I'm also pretty disheartened by the fact that I haven't heard back from this woman from Cartoon Network Europe. I suppose I should email her again and see if she even got my first email. I was really looking forward to the challenge of trying to write something for a cartoon... as it's a genre I've never tackled. But it's something I feel like I would do well in, because of the high amount of terrible puns and bad, situational, physical humor that permeates cartoons. I kill at that!
I just figured out what I should do. I have two and a half weeks before Ken gets here. I'm going to use that time to clean my apartment, and try to write the screenplay I started thinking about months ago. I have a very unique opportunity with all this free time to REALLY sit down and write something. I've just bought a book, Story, which is supposed to help with screenwriting... and I'm going to spend my time reading that book, writing, and cleaning. Then, after Ken leaves, I HAVE to get a stupid f--king job to just pay some bills. Hopefully I'll be able to head home some weekend, beg my folks for enough dough to make it through the first half of March (just long enough for me to get my first paycheck at the job I still don't have... but will no doubt get as soon as I lower my standards enough to take ANYTHING [I'm to that point again... great]), and I should be all set. Well... I'm glad I got that all figured out. Now, hopefully I can actually get some sleep. I feel like poop.
Hey kids. It's Way-Late O'clock here in Chicago... and I've already tried unsuccessfully to get to sleep tonight. I feel pretty sick, with my throat feeling very sore and my stomach totally hurting. I refuse to believe that Kim could have gotten me sick, because I don't want to believe that someone you like can get you sick without exchanging oral fluids. Or at least doing something fun... that would balance the whole "sickness" feeling.
I spent some time today cleaning my apartment. Not so much time that you can really tell I did anything, but enough time so that I felt like I spent too much time for the results I got. I hope that makes sense to someone. Anyway, my clothing is all organized: instead of being in one huge dirty clothes pile, it's in two, large dirty clothes hampers. I'm looking forward to going home one of the next two weekends to wash them for free (maybe I'll talk about money later... but it's less expensive to drive home and do all my laundry, than it is to do it in my building. No joke). I also spent a sizeable amount of time working on my wall of pictures in my front hall-way. Maybe this is why I feel like I spent too much time... because I would really take my time looking at them and figuring out which pictures I wanted up. The pictures now extend all the way from my door to the end of the entrance wall (quite a feat, if you've seen my place). I honestly can't wait to show someone... but I will have to wait, because I never invite anyone to my apartment and Ken will be the first one to see it when he visits in two weeks (probably)[not probably he'll visit, probably he'll be the first one to see it].
I still have a lot of work to do to clean this apartment. My mom thinks it will make me feel better about going out and begging for jobs... like I'll have someplace nice to come home to. Maybe she's right... but that's my mom for you. I'm sure she would also like to remedy my joblessness with some kind of cookie or a bunch of fruit (which, oddly enough, is on the way from my mom. Not the cookies, a box of various fruit [apples, oranges, and pears]). If only all the world's troubles could be fixed by cleaning your apartment or eating fruit... I'd be all set. Perhaps there's a very deep metaphor in all this that I'm missing... ? But I'll just continue to think my mom is crazy, if it's all the same to everyone else.
Huh. Just so everyone knows... I'm almost positive I just heard a gunshot. Cool.
Anyway... where was I? I think I was sick and babbling on and on about myself. Okay good... I remember now. What sucks is that tomorrow (Sunday), I'm supposed to drive out to Keith's to help him work on this thing for a golf convention Thursday. He was asked to do a couple sketches... and he asked me to help. That doesn't suck... that's really cool of him, and I'm happy to do it... what sucks is that it's raining here. And the rain is supposed to give way to snow sometime tonight. And then that frozen rain/snow mixture is going to be dumped on by more rain tomorrow morning. Best case scenario, the rain in the morning will melt the ice and snow. Worst case scenario, the rain will just add to the hazard of the ice and snow. So I kind of want to tell Keith that I don't feel comfortable risking the drive. But Sunday is the only day I can go out there and help him. So now what?
Additionally, though this has nothing to do with anything, I am most seriously out of money. Remember how I said that I had enough to get by and yadda yadda? Well... I've now run out. I'm happy that I've made it this far... but now I need money, badly. After I pay these two bills before the first of next month, I will probably have about $20-30 in my account. Which brings me back to driving home sometime soon. I have to ask my folks for money. Yeah. And I also have to get a job... which I'm hesitant to do until Ken gets here, because I don't want to have to start work while he's here on vacation.
Do you remember being happy? Being truly happy? I think some people out there probably don't have to remember it as a thing of the past... but looking through my pictures tonight confirmed that, for me, it's been a long time. I remember waking up happy... taking in that first deep breath of the day, as if drinking in the deliciousness of the air. And the air was delicious; it was clean and fresh... and it made me anticipate an exciting day full of possibilities. Now I wake up and hit the snooze... because I'd really rather be sleeping than be awake. If I have class at night, I don't want to do anything during the day... because I'd really rather not be going to class at night. The whole day seems wasted, as I try to build up the energy to force myself to go to class. It not like the classes are bad... they're just hard. And they're not fun. Somewhere along the line, someone decided to take all the fun out of improv and make it a job. A job that revels in demolishing ones ego and confidence... making one feel as stupid as is humanly possible. There seems to be a very delicate balance between "making it up as you go along" and "following the rules." For someone like me, the following rules part is the easy part. But, if you follow all the rules, there's really nothing creative that is produced as a result.
I remember feeling important. I remember times when it felt like what I did, said, or thought mattered. I think that's why a lot of people have children (which is sad, but true)... because, no matter what happens outside of your household, what you do, say, and think is very important to your children. And, the more desperate the parent is to be important (to have "power" too), the more controlling they are with their children. I think, in some ways, this period of my life is very important. I'm feeling desperation... real, honest, desperation for the first time in my life. I'll do anything to get on that stage and get noticed... but I also want to follow the rules and be good at what I'm doing, so there is a struggle between being noticed and fitting in with my group. I've actually had an improv group approach me about joining them and I haven't said anything in response yet. I need to do that... I need to tell them that I'm not interested. While I would love the experience with people who are actually going to be out DOING something (as opposed to a lot of the people I know who are, by all accounts, going nowhere), I feel like I'm better than the people in that group. They would be dragging me down... and, because of talking with Chris after Basically Awesome, I HAVE to keep in mind that I'm only as good as the people around me. If I settle for an improv group because I need the practice, I'm really doing myself a disservice.
I'm also pretty disheartened by the fact that I haven't heard back from this woman from Cartoon Network Europe. I suppose I should email her again and see if she even got my first email. I was really looking forward to the challenge of trying to write something for a cartoon... as it's a genre I've never tackled. But it's something I feel like I would do well in, because of the high amount of terrible puns and bad, situational, physical humor that permeates cartoons. I kill at that!
I just figured out what I should do. I have two and a half weeks before Ken gets here. I'm going to use that time to clean my apartment, and try to write the screenplay I started thinking about months ago. I have a very unique opportunity with all this free time to REALLY sit down and write something. I've just bought a book, Story, which is supposed to help with screenwriting... and I'm going to spend my time reading that book, writing, and cleaning. Then, after Ken leaves, I HAVE to get a stupid f--king job to just pay some bills. Hopefully I'll be able to head home some weekend, beg my folks for enough dough to make it through the first half of March (just long enough for me to get my first paycheck at the job I still don't have... but will no doubt get as soon as I lower my standards enough to take ANYTHING [I'm to that point again... great]), and I should be all set. Well... I'm glad I got that all figured out. Now, hopefully I can actually get some sleep. I feel like poop.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Friday night with the cast!
First of all, let me tell you that I had a weird dream last night. In the dream, I got on a plane thinking I was going to Chicago... because the sign said "Chicago." So I board the plane... and it turns out they didn't change the sign after the Chicago plane left... and the flight attendant didn't check my ticket, she just ripped it and told me to keep going, so I found myself on a plan going to Toronto instead. And I took off in the plane, and had to wait until I landed before I realized that I was in Toronto and not Chicago. Here's the fun part: I didn't have any money to get back to Chicago. I couldn't afford a cab; I couldn't afford a plane ticket; and I couldn't afford to rent a car. I was literally stuck in Toronto with no way to get back to Chicago. Shitty, huh? I hope that if that ever happens, I can call one of you and you'll take me at least as far as Albion or, better yet, KZoo. Right, so if I call from Toronto, you already know what happened.
Friday night, we got together as a cast and rehearsed the lines (sans Brian... who didn't make it because it was his girlfriend's birthday). On my way there, I found the directions that I printed off to be seriously lacking in effectiveness. Yep, I got lost and had to call Chris to ask him where I was. I called Adam and Ken first to see if I could get them to hop on the internet and check where I was... but neither of them answered (bastards)... so I had to call Chris and be a douche. I was hoping that Kim wouldn't be there already to hear that I had gotten lost... but I called him 15 minutes late already, so, yeah, pretty much everyone was there already. I felt like such an idiot.
When I finally arrived, I was pleasantly surprised by the space. Not that I expected it to be shitty... but it was bigger than I thought it would be. A lot of places in Chicago are deep but not wide... if you can imagine an apartment extending back away from the street, but not being very wide. Anyway, everyone looked comfy... but Kim was feeling sick. So I felt bad for her... and kind of upset that she probably wasn't going to go out and get a drink with us. Shut up... I really want to get to know this girl better. Leave me alone!
So then, once everyone was there, we ran lines... and we ran all the lines from every scene in the show. Good practice for us... and Chris and I even messed around with some of our lines because we knew that scene really well. As we were running lines, I found myself on the couch sitting next to Kim. I didn't "find myself" there so much as "put myself there on purpose." Anyway, I thought this was kind of weird... there was a few times while we were running lines when she used my thighs to warm her feet. This is not a foreign concept to me... but it is something I normally only get with women I'm dating or someone I know really well (like Rhea or Jean would do it some times). But there were Kim's feet, underneath my thigh getting warm. Am I making too big a deal out of this? Perhaps she's just one of those attractive women who have always used men however they want because they're so attractive that men will do whatever they want? That's possible. I don't know... but I do know that I've talked with three different people about the Kim "situation" and everyone keeps telling me to be myself and whatever. And, I'm sure that's what I'm supposed to be doing (and it's what I AM actually doing with Kim, despite my own thoughts on the subject)... but I don't know about that either. "Myself" is not a very smooth person... nor is he very comfortable with people (women in particular)... and isn't confidence sexy? Where am I supposed to find some of that? I'm getting ahead of myself. My question is simply this: Is it weird that she used my leg to keep her feet warm? Or am I making too big a deal out of nothing? I honestly don't know.
But I do know that we sang through the song a couple of times and I found myself being jealous of Chris. Not simply because he's doing the song with Kim, but because I really wish I was singing that song. It's such a funny song... and it's beautiful in it's own weird/quirky way. And, yeah, I'm pretty jealous that I don't have the lead in this stupid song. So I sat there, jealous, while we sang through the song a couple of times with the CD (the musical director made a CD of him playing the song and singing through it).
After we finished going through the song and the entire song, we headed to a bar in the area. Kim had drank some tea and apparently felt good enough to come with us... so that was cool. We then found a table and played this "Have you ever?" drinking game... where we learn something "new and fun" about each other. I, for the most part, felt like a goodie-goodie (can I even SAY that? who says f--king "goodie-goodie"? What a loser!)... but then I said "Have you ever dated three people at the same time?" And I was the only person who drank. And Kim gave me a look like I was a terrible person. I, of course, refer to the time when Laura and I were just broken up, and then there was the night with someone who will remain nameless (because she hates my guts now), and then the night with Karen... before I realized that I liked Karen a whole bunch, and had to say goodbye to the other young lady. I wasn't technically even dating Laura at the time... I just still felt bad that we had broken up, and I felt that I shouldn't move on so quickly. But, damn, did I feel like a giant DOUCHE! I was able to, at least, get my James Earl Jones story out to make myself feel a little better (and less like the biggest asshole on the planet).
After a little while of that Kim left... and the four of us sat around and danced and talked. Then, of all the songs in the world, Maximillion/Shaggy's Sexual Healing played. I could have shit myself! Chris already knew that I did the impression, because I did it once before rehearsal... but no one else was paying attention for the whole song... and it was too loud to hear me, anyway. Honestly, ever since I was very young, I've always wanted to impress people through song. I want to be singing (or rapping) something and just have people think "Wow... that's talent." I'm not sure why I feel the need to do this SO strongly... but it's one of my most frequent daydreams (particularly when I'm listening to music that I like). There I am, performing some song in front of a group of people, having them just love every second of it. I sort of got that thrill through the Euphonics... but I never felt like anyone was singling me out in particular as being incredibly talented. I think most people thought of me as someone who was fairly talented, performing with a lot of other (perhaps more) talented people. I want my singing to be able to single me out... and I honestly have no idea why. Maybe I'm supremely ego-centric? Maybe I'm so insecure about my singing abilities that I need that kind of reassurance? I can't answer those questions. But singing in front of a captive audience is very high on my list of things I want to do before I die. (Yes, I remember Outer Core... but, let's face it, if we would have sucked they still would have cheered for us. That's not a very good gauge.)
First of all, let me tell you that I had a weird dream last night. In the dream, I got on a plane thinking I was going to Chicago... because the sign said "Chicago." So I board the plane... and it turns out they didn't change the sign after the Chicago plane left... and the flight attendant didn't check my ticket, she just ripped it and told me to keep going, so I found myself on a plan going to Toronto instead. And I took off in the plane, and had to wait until I landed before I realized that I was in Toronto and not Chicago. Here's the fun part: I didn't have any money to get back to Chicago. I couldn't afford a cab; I couldn't afford a plane ticket; and I couldn't afford to rent a car. I was literally stuck in Toronto with no way to get back to Chicago. Shitty, huh? I hope that if that ever happens, I can call one of you and you'll take me at least as far as Albion or, better yet, KZoo. Right, so if I call from Toronto, you already know what happened.
Friday night, we got together as a cast and rehearsed the lines (sans Brian... who didn't make it because it was his girlfriend's birthday). On my way there, I found the directions that I printed off to be seriously lacking in effectiveness. Yep, I got lost and had to call Chris to ask him where I was. I called Adam and Ken first to see if I could get them to hop on the internet and check where I was... but neither of them answered (bastards)... so I had to call Chris and be a douche. I was hoping that Kim wouldn't be there already to hear that I had gotten lost... but I called him 15 minutes late already, so, yeah, pretty much everyone was there already. I felt like such an idiot.
When I finally arrived, I was pleasantly surprised by the space. Not that I expected it to be shitty... but it was bigger than I thought it would be. A lot of places in Chicago are deep but not wide... if you can imagine an apartment extending back away from the street, but not being very wide. Anyway, everyone looked comfy... but Kim was feeling sick. So I felt bad for her... and kind of upset that she probably wasn't going to go out and get a drink with us. Shut up... I really want to get to know this girl better. Leave me alone!
So then, once everyone was there, we ran lines... and we ran all the lines from every scene in the show. Good practice for us... and Chris and I even messed around with some of our lines because we knew that scene really well. As we were running lines, I found myself on the couch sitting next to Kim. I didn't "find myself" there so much as "put myself there on purpose." Anyway, I thought this was kind of weird... there was a few times while we were running lines when she used my thighs to warm her feet. This is not a foreign concept to me... but it is something I normally only get with women I'm dating or someone I know really well (like Rhea or Jean would do it some times). But there were Kim's feet, underneath my thigh getting warm. Am I making too big a deal out of this? Perhaps she's just one of those attractive women who have always used men however they want because they're so attractive that men will do whatever they want? That's possible. I don't know... but I do know that I've talked with three different people about the Kim "situation" and everyone keeps telling me to be myself and whatever. And, I'm sure that's what I'm supposed to be doing (and it's what I AM actually doing with Kim, despite my own thoughts on the subject)... but I don't know about that either. "Myself" is not a very smooth person... nor is he very comfortable with people (women in particular)... and isn't confidence sexy? Where am I supposed to find some of that? I'm getting ahead of myself. My question is simply this: Is it weird that she used my leg to keep her feet warm? Or am I making too big a deal out of nothing? I honestly don't know.
But I do know that we sang through the song a couple of times and I found myself being jealous of Chris. Not simply because he's doing the song with Kim, but because I really wish I was singing that song. It's such a funny song... and it's beautiful in it's own weird/quirky way. And, yeah, I'm pretty jealous that I don't have the lead in this stupid song. So I sat there, jealous, while we sang through the song a couple of times with the CD (the musical director made a CD of him playing the song and singing through it).
After we finished going through the song and the entire song, we headed to a bar in the area. Kim had drank some tea and apparently felt good enough to come with us... so that was cool. We then found a table and played this "Have you ever?" drinking game... where we learn something "new and fun" about each other. I, for the most part, felt like a goodie-goodie (can I even SAY that? who says f--king "goodie-goodie"? What a loser!)... but then I said "Have you ever dated three people at the same time?" And I was the only person who drank. And Kim gave me a look like I was a terrible person. I, of course, refer to the time when Laura and I were just broken up, and then there was the night with someone who will remain nameless (because she hates my guts now), and then the night with Karen... before I realized that I liked Karen a whole bunch, and had to say goodbye to the other young lady. I wasn't technically even dating Laura at the time... I just still felt bad that we had broken up, and I felt that I shouldn't move on so quickly. But, damn, did I feel like a giant DOUCHE! I was able to, at least, get my James Earl Jones story out to make myself feel a little better (and less like the biggest asshole on the planet).
After a little while of that Kim left... and the four of us sat around and danced and talked. Then, of all the songs in the world, Maximillion/Shaggy's Sexual Healing played. I could have shit myself! Chris already knew that I did the impression, because I did it once before rehearsal... but no one else was paying attention for the whole song... and it was too loud to hear me, anyway. Honestly, ever since I was very young, I've always wanted to impress people through song. I want to be singing (or rapping) something and just have people think "Wow... that's talent." I'm not sure why I feel the need to do this SO strongly... but it's one of my most frequent daydreams (particularly when I'm listening to music that I like). There I am, performing some song in front of a group of people, having them just love every second of it. I sort of got that thrill through the Euphonics... but I never felt like anyone was singling me out in particular as being incredibly talented. I think most people thought of me as someone who was fairly talented, performing with a lot of other (perhaps more) talented people. I want my singing to be able to single me out... and I honestly have no idea why. Maybe I'm supremely ego-centric? Maybe I'm so insecure about my singing abilities that I need that kind of reassurance? I can't answer those questions. But singing in front of a captive audience is very high on my list of things I want to do before I die. (Yes, I remember Outer Core... but, let's face it, if we would have sucked they still would have cheered for us. That's not a very good gauge.)
Now to Pull Out The "Totally Awesome" File!
I got an email today from the official website of The Work And The Glory, Alex's movie. And they have, apparently, decided to open this movie up in more theatres March 11th (or 3-11... if you are all into weird coincidences that occur in my life). One of the cities it's going to be extended to play in is "Chicago"!!! So I'm going to get to see Alex's movie!!! Here's the funny funny catch. When they say "Chicago"... they don't mean Chicago. They mean South Barrington, Illinois. And, even though it claims to be 'South' Barrington, it's not south of Chicago, it's North-West. And it's roughly an hour away by car. Making me pissed that they would say Chicago and have me get my hopes up that I could just walk there... but, still, an hour away is better than a few states away! So now I just need to get a few people together to drive the couple hours with me to see this movie and I'll be all set. Awesome!!!
I got an email today from the official website of The Work And The Glory, Alex's movie. And they have, apparently, decided to open this movie up in more theatres March 11th (or 3-11... if you are all into weird coincidences that occur in my life). One of the cities it's going to be extended to play in is "Chicago"!!! So I'm going to get to see Alex's movie!!! Here's the funny funny catch. When they say "Chicago"... they don't mean Chicago. They mean South Barrington, Illinois. And, even though it claims to be 'South' Barrington, it's not south of Chicago, it's North-West. And it's roughly an hour away by car. Making me pissed that they would say Chicago and have me get my hopes up that I could just walk there... but, still, an hour away is better than a few states away! So now I just need to get a few people together to drive the couple hours with me to see this movie and I'll be all set. Awesome!!!
Friday, February 18, 2005
Some days things fall apart... and some days, everything comes together
It's an incredible feeling to sit and watch as the universe seems to quite literally be unfolding a path for you. You look behind yourself and the path is smooth--already made... with peaks and valleys, and it looks like the path has always been that way. And then you look back ahead of yourself and see events being set into motion and possible paths you could take... I'm getting too into this metaphor, aren't I? Perhaps I should start at the beginning.
The beginning finds me sitting on my futon, checking the Chicago Reader classified ads for jobs. Brief sidenote: There is an ad that I absolutely LOVE... which I'll include here. And I quote: "WINDOW CLEANERS WANTED. Growing company. Great pay. Full and part-time. Professional experience only" And I know that they probably need window washers for the high-rise buildings down town... but please, "professionals only"? "Can I have a job?"; "Have you washed windows for money before?"; "No, but I am quite good"; "Sorry, we're only looking for professional window cleaners... thank you."
Where was I? Oh yes, I was looking through the Reader... and I happened to be checking my email at the same time (I can multi-task! I'm almost as good as a woman at it, but not quite... close at all, not really all that close what-so-ever). I got an email today from the director of my writing five show Mankind: And Other Oxymorons, MT. She forwarded us an email from a friend (... ? I'm assuming a friend) in England who works for Cartoon Network Europe (yeah... I guess they have their own Cartoon Network in Europe now). This woman who works at Cartoon Network Europe is looking for freelance writers to write cartoons for CNE! So I tossed her back an email saying I was interested. I was just thinking about how cool it would be to be a writer and set my own hours and be able to watch movies and t.v. and call it "research." So I was totally psyched about that. And then, I got an email from The Second City. They're offering an Intro to Writing for Film and Television class next term... and it's only open to people who have completed the writing program. Why, that's me! AND it's on Tuesday nights, so if I had gotten my first conservatory class choice (Tuesday nights), I wouldn't be able to take this class. Cue the spooky music please! How weird is all this?! Come on! It's pretty freakin' weird. And that's not all...
Wednesday night I went and saw the first ever "Second City Scenes You Should Know." The Second City is finally opening up its archived footage to the training center students... and this was the first installment. I showed up about two minutes late and they had already started... the audio quality is sub-par... and the video was only a little better, but it was neat to get ideas for scenes from.
After that, I went in to register for classes. The guy in the office was Ted Howard, whose wife, Rachel, is in "Sweet Pumpkin Pie..." with me. So I asked him about the show, and if he was coming... and then I told him I wanted to get into the Intro to Writing for Film and Television class, and I wanted to know what I would need to submit (since the email I mentioned above said that you had to submit something to make it into the class). But Ted said, "Don't worry about it, I just put you in. So you're all set." I was like WOW! COOL! How could this day get any better? Everything seems to be falling into place!
And, as I left the office and was unzipping my backpack at the top of the stairs to put the receipt in my backpack, I heard someone yell "John!" I looked around the lounge area, and there was Kim, sitting at a table with a few other people. I walked over and she wanted to know what I was doing, etc... but the whole time I was only thinking "she didn't HAVE to acknowledge that I was even here. Maybe she actually doesn't know when she'll have free time to see a movie! And I was just projecting my insecurities again..." So we chatted for a bit and I didn't bring up the movie thing and neither did she. So that wasn't BAD... it was probably more on the good side of the spectrum, if anything. So yeah... sweet.
After that, I went to Borders to pick up a couple books. One of the books I picked up was called "Story" by Robert McKee. It's basically a screenwriting work-book kind of book. It's basically the screen writer's Bible... and it's huge. I'm excited to dig my teeth into the soft underbelly of this book (WHAT?). Today I'll leave you with something that McKee says at the end of the book that resonated with me (I checked the end to see how many pages... over 400!):
"For above all else, beyond imagination and skill, what the world asks of you is courage, courage to risk rejection, ridicule and failure."
It's an incredible feeling to sit and watch as the universe seems to quite literally be unfolding a path for you. You look behind yourself and the path is smooth--already made... with peaks and valleys, and it looks like the path has always been that way. And then you look back ahead of yourself and see events being set into motion and possible paths you could take... I'm getting too into this metaphor, aren't I? Perhaps I should start at the beginning.
The beginning finds me sitting on my futon, checking the Chicago Reader classified ads for jobs. Brief sidenote: There is an ad that I absolutely LOVE... which I'll include here. And I quote: "WINDOW CLEANERS WANTED. Growing company. Great pay. Full and part-time. Professional experience only" And I know that they probably need window washers for the high-rise buildings down town... but please, "professionals only"? "Can I have a job?"; "Have you washed windows for money before?"; "No, but I am quite good"; "Sorry, we're only looking for professional window cleaners... thank you."
Where was I? Oh yes, I was looking through the Reader... and I happened to be checking my email at the same time (I can multi-task! I'm almost as good as a woman at it, but not quite... close at all, not really all that close what-so-ever). I got an email today from the director of my writing five show Mankind: And Other Oxymorons, MT. She forwarded us an email from a friend (... ? I'm assuming a friend) in England who works for Cartoon Network Europe (yeah... I guess they have their own Cartoon Network in Europe now). This woman who works at Cartoon Network Europe is looking for freelance writers to write cartoons for CNE! So I tossed her back an email saying I was interested. I was just thinking about how cool it would be to be a writer and set my own hours and be able to watch movies and t.v. and call it "research." So I was totally psyched about that. And then, I got an email from The Second City. They're offering an Intro to Writing for Film and Television class next term... and it's only open to people who have completed the writing program. Why, that's me! AND it's on Tuesday nights, so if I had gotten my first conservatory class choice (Tuesday nights), I wouldn't be able to take this class. Cue the spooky music please! How weird is all this?! Come on! It's pretty freakin' weird. And that's not all...
Wednesday night I went and saw the first ever "Second City Scenes You Should Know." The Second City is finally opening up its archived footage to the training center students... and this was the first installment. I showed up about two minutes late and they had already started... the audio quality is sub-par... and the video was only a little better, but it was neat to get ideas for scenes from.
After that, I went in to register for classes. The guy in the office was Ted Howard, whose wife, Rachel, is in "Sweet Pumpkin Pie..." with me. So I asked him about the show, and if he was coming... and then I told him I wanted to get into the Intro to Writing for Film and Television class, and I wanted to know what I would need to submit (since the email I mentioned above said that you had to submit something to make it into the class). But Ted said, "Don't worry about it, I just put you in. So you're all set." I was like WOW! COOL! How could this day get any better? Everything seems to be falling into place!
And, as I left the office and was unzipping my backpack at the top of the stairs to put the receipt in my backpack, I heard someone yell "John!" I looked around the lounge area, and there was Kim, sitting at a table with a few other people. I walked over and she wanted to know what I was doing, etc... but the whole time I was only thinking "she didn't HAVE to acknowledge that I was even here. Maybe she actually doesn't know when she'll have free time to see a movie! And I was just projecting my insecurities again..." So we chatted for a bit and I didn't bring up the movie thing and neither did she. So that wasn't BAD... it was probably more on the good side of the spectrum, if anything. So yeah... sweet.
After that, I went to Borders to pick up a couple books. One of the books I picked up was called "Story" by Robert McKee. It's basically a screenwriting work-book kind of book. It's basically the screen writer's Bible... and it's huge. I'm excited to dig my teeth into the soft underbelly of this book (WHAT?). Today I'll leave you with something that McKee says at the end of the book that resonated with me (I checked the end to see how many pages... over 400!):
"For above all else, beyond imagination and skill, what the world asks of you is courage, courage to risk rejection, ridicule and failure."
Why one needs to watch Street Fighter... (answer: Because one just saw "Saw")
Monday night was my "Sweet Pumpkin Pie..." rehearsal. We've been off book for a week now, and we got the final running order this week. This is another fun show for me, where I get to be in three scenes, take a scene off, be in four more scenes, get another scene off, and then be on stage until 199four-ever. That doesn't make sense. But it's going to be another show here where it will probably feel to the audience like I'm in every scene. And, even though I'm in a lot of the show, I wish I had a bigger part in the song. I ran into John ("Boston") from the cast of Mankind, and I told him that I always get hosed in songs. I can't audition worth shit... but I'm pretty good at singing. So I will be forever cast as the BEST member of the chorus. And that's kind of how I feel. The worst part about this particular song is that the song is incredible! It's funny and it's musically interesting... and I wish I had the lead SO BADLY! (and not just because I would be singing opposite Kim... but for the two reasons I just listed) Anyway... so I sit there in the background and sing along in my head the whole song... just wishing I had the lead the whole time. I need to learn how to sing better in the audition.
After rehearsal, we went to the Old Town Ale House (ANOTHER BAR?! I know). Chris and I seemed to bond over Jack and Coke's... his preferred drink and my, well, I'm willing to try anything once. Chris is a totally cool guy... and, for some reason, we're getting very good at giving and taking with each other. Perhaps it's all that making out we do. *shrug* And, after two of the aforementioned drink, I probably hit on Kim a little too hard. She bruised. Wait... I've mixed my metaphors, or I just mixed metaphor with literal... and now everyone thinks I punched her. I didn't punch anyone. I just, at one point, may have asked her to marry me. I noticed that's a problem I have... instead of being honest with my feelings when I notice them, I heighten them to extremes so as to try to hide my true feelings. It works pretty good for me normally... but she probably thought I was a freak. Although she was the one that smelled me from stomach to neck at one point. So who's the freak now?
When Kim, Chris and I left the bar as almost the last people there, I decided to walk them as far as the Brown Line Sedgewick stop (not too far from where we were... and not horribly out of my way, either). I remembered that I had asked for Chris' phone number earlier in the night because we were going to go see a show together; but I hadn't gotten his number yet. So I asked for his number, and Kim seemed slightly offended that no one wanted her number. But, what can you do? I know what you can do, you can call her right there to see if that will make her feel better. So I scrolled through my phone and found Kim's number and called her. Even though she was standing in the same room with me and had yet to get on the train, she didn't answer. So, whatever... "maybe it's on silent" I thought. Then, as I was walking home, I got a phone call from Kim... wondering who the hell called her at midnight on a Monday. I said "Well, I have blue eyes... and I'm the funniest person you know...", "Is this John?", "Whoa... wow... you got it on the funniest person bit. I'm flattered"... but she was too busy wondering how I got her number to care that I felt complimented. Then I really had to think: "How did I get her number?" I remembered that we have a Yahoo! Group for the entire cast and writers to post messages and stuff... and we also have a database that includes everyone's phone number and email address. And that's where I got it. I don't know if she bought that as the actual reason, or if she thinks I'm a creepy stalker. Well... she can't think I'm THAT creepy of a stalker because when I said "So, do you wanna go see a movie or something sometime?" She said "Sure. What movie?" I hadn't planned that far ahead, actually... I just really wanted to get to know her better and couldn't think of a good way to go about it. So I had to respond with "I'm not sure. I haven't seen like any movie ever"... which lead the conversation in a different direction and we never did end up talking about going to a movie again.
Tuesday afternoon I talked with Keith on the phone and told him what had happened the night before. He told me that we should go see "Sideways" and that I should call her right then. Well, I know she actually HAS a job, so calling her is probably not the best idea. I decided to email her. When I got the response back she said something like "sounds like a plan... but I don't know when I'll have the free time" etc. I know, from my vast experience that a phrase like that means "oh, you think this is going to be a date... I'm not comfortable with that." Or something to that effect. I kind of deflated at that point (meaning my ego). Yeah... I doubt I'll make her actually go to the movie now.
Tuesday night I met with the cast of Basically Awesome. We were going to split the money we made on the show. (I know! I made money on a show!!!) My take ended up almost being $80... so that's pretty kick ass! Not when you try to figure it out per hour of work... but when you think that I normally don't get paid anything to be in these shows... I'll take $80 every time. After we split up the money, I spent some time with Adam. He bought the movies Saw & Street Fighter. We watched Saw with his roommates Chip and Owen. There are two things that REALLY bother me about this movie (CAUTION: Spoilers! If you haven't seen Saw... stop here) Number one: Cary Elwes' character, at one point, says "Technically he's not a murderer. He finds ways for his victims to kill themselves." Um... technically speaking, he IS a murderer. Let's say I was to exchange someone's parachute with a backpack. What kills that person is the fact that they didn't check to see it was a parachute... and their jumping out of an airplane. But I was still in control of the factors that lead to their death. Or, perhaps if you don't buy that analogy, let's say I push someone off a boat into freezing water. There's a life jacket on the boat but I force them to play a guessing game before I will toss the life jacket to them. Oh... they didn't answer the questions correctly, and they just happen to drown. Cause of death is drowning, right? I had nothing to do with it. Please... with the main story-line, Elwes might have a point... anything that happens to the Doctor or Adam are just a result of kidnapping. But poisoning Zepp, that's murder... attaching a "reverse beartrap" to Amanda's head to pull it apart, that would have been murder... the whole candle, glass on floor, flammable substance thing is clearly murder... So, basically what we have here is a case where the writer thought "what a kick ass line. 'Finds a way for the victims to kill themselves'! That would be an awesome way to sell the movie, if we were to put it in the trailer!!!" And there it was, not fitting in with the rest of the movie. Number two: I can understand what the Doctor did to deserve this... and what Amanda, the drug addict, did... and what the fat dude who tried to commit suicide did... and the flammable guy apparently did some crap too that the movie explained in about two seconds... but what did Zepp or Adam do to deserve this? Especially Zepp... whose only fault seemed to be that he was a social outcast that formed a strong bond with the patients at the hospital? No one talks about what Zepp did wrong... we don't have to, because we think he's the bad guy for a while and we don't know that he's just another victim. But, in retrospect, we must ask "why Zepp?" What did he ever do to deserve this? And Adam being a voyeur means he should die? I might be able to buy that... in that he'll be happy to live his own life instead of focusing on other people living their lives.... but, still, why Zepp? No one can answer that question, can they? Because it makes no sense. Yep... chew on that for a while, kids. I'm out!
Monday night was my "Sweet Pumpkin Pie..." rehearsal. We've been off book for a week now, and we got the final running order this week. This is another fun show for me, where I get to be in three scenes, take a scene off, be in four more scenes, get another scene off, and then be on stage until 199four-ever. That doesn't make sense. But it's going to be another show here where it will probably feel to the audience like I'm in every scene. And, even though I'm in a lot of the show, I wish I had a bigger part in the song. I ran into John ("Boston") from the cast of Mankind, and I told him that I always get hosed in songs. I can't audition worth shit... but I'm pretty good at singing. So I will be forever cast as the BEST member of the chorus. And that's kind of how I feel. The worst part about this particular song is that the song is incredible! It's funny and it's musically interesting... and I wish I had the lead SO BADLY! (and not just because I would be singing opposite Kim... but for the two reasons I just listed) Anyway... so I sit there in the background and sing along in my head the whole song... just wishing I had the lead the whole time. I need to learn how to sing better in the audition.
After rehearsal, we went to the Old Town Ale House (ANOTHER BAR?! I know). Chris and I seemed to bond over Jack and Coke's... his preferred drink and my, well, I'm willing to try anything once. Chris is a totally cool guy... and, for some reason, we're getting very good at giving and taking with each other. Perhaps it's all that making out we do. *shrug* And, after two of the aforementioned drink, I probably hit on Kim a little too hard. She bruised. Wait... I've mixed my metaphors, or I just mixed metaphor with literal... and now everyone thinks I punched her. I didn't punch anyone. I just, at one point, may have asked her to marry me. I noticed that's a problem I have... instead of being honest with my feelings when I notice them, I heighten them to extremes so as to try to hide my true feelings. It works pretty good for me normally... but she probably thought I was a freak. Although she was the one that smelled me from stomach to neck at one point. So who's the freak now?
When Kim, Chris and I left the bar as almost the last people there, I decided to walk them as far as the Brown Line Sedgewick stop (not too far from where we were... and not horribly out of my way, either). I remembered that I had asked for Chris' phone number earlier in the night because we were going to go see a show together; but I hadn't gotten his number yet. So I asked for his number, and Kim seemed slightly offended that no one wanted her number. But, what can you do? I know what you can do, you can call her right there to see if that will make her feel better. So I scrolled through my phone and found Kim's number and called her. Even though she was standing in the same room with me and had yet to get on the train, she didn't answer. So, whatever... "maybe it's on silent" I thought. Then, as I was walking home, I got a phone call from Kim... wondering who the hell called her at midnight on a Monday. I said "Well, I have blue eyes... and I'm the funniest person you know...", "Is this John?", "Whoa... wow... you got it on the funniest person bit. I'm flattered"... but she was too busy wondering how I got her number to care that I felt complimented. Then I really had to think: "How did I get her number?" I remembered that we have a Yahoo! Group for the entire cast and writers to post messages and stuff... and we also have a database that includes everyone's phone number and email address. And that's where I got it. I don't know if she bought that as the actual reason, or if she thinks I'm a creepy stalker. Well... she can't think I'm THAT creepy of a stalker because when I said "So, do you wanna go see a movie or something sometime?" She said "Sure. What movie?" I hadn't planned that far ahead, actually... I just really wanted to get to know her better and couldn't think of a good way to go about it. So I had to respond with "I'm not sure. I haven't seen like any movie ever"... which lead the conversation in a different direction and we never did end up talking about going to a movie again.
Tuesday afternoon I talked with Keith on the phone and told him what had happened the night before. He told me that we should go see "Sideways" and that I should call her right then. Well, I know she actually HAS a job, so calling her is probably not the best idea. I decided to email her. When I got the response back she said something like "sounds like a plan... but I don't know when I'll have the free time" etc. I know, from my vast experience that a phrase like that means "oh, you think this is going to be a date... I'm not comfortable with that." Or something to that effect. I kind of deflated at that point (meaning my ego). Yeah... I doubt I'll make her actually go to the movie now.
Tuesday night I met with the cast of Basically Awesome. We were going to split the money we made on the show. (I know! I made money on a show!!!) My take ended up almost being $80... so that's pretty kick ass! Not when you try to figure it out per hour of work... but when you think that I normally don't get paid anything to be in these shows... I'll take $80 every time. After we split up the money, I spent some time with Adam. He bought the movies Saw & Street Fighter. We watched Saw with his roommates Chip and Owen. There are two things that REALLY bother me about this movie (CAUTION: Spoilers! If you haven't seen Saw... stop here) Number one: Cary Elwes' character, at one point, says "Technically he's not a murderer. He finds ways for his victims to kill themselves." Um... technically speaking, he IS a murderer. Let's say I was to exchange someone's parachute with a backpack. What kills that person is the fact that they didn't check to see it was a parachute... and their jumping out of an airplane. But I was still in control of the factors that lead to their death. Or, perhaps if you don't buy that analogy, let's say I push someone off a boat into freezing water. There's a life jacket on the boat but I force them to play a guessing game before I will toss the life jacket to them. Oh... they didn't answer the questions correctly, and they just happen to drown. Cause of death is drowning, right? I had nothing to do with it. Please... with the main story-line, Elwes might have a point... anything that happens to the Doctor or Adam are just a result of kidnapping. But poisoning Zepp, that's murder... attaching a "reverse beartrap" to Amanda's head to pull it apart, that would have been murder... the whole candle, glass on floor, flammable substance thing is clearly murder... So, basically what we have here is a case where the writer thought "what a kick ass line. 'Finds a way for the victims to kill themselves'! That would be an awesome way to sell the movie, if we were to put it in the trailer!!!" And there it was, not fitting in with the rest of the movie. Number two: I can understand what the Doctor did to deserve this... and what Amanda, the drug addict, did... and what the fat dude who tried to commit suicide did... and the flammable guy apparently did some crap too that the movie explained in about two seconds... but what did Zepp or Adam do to deserve this? Especially Zepp... whose only fault seemed to be that he was a social outcast that formed a strong bond with the patients at the hospital? No one talks about what Zepp did wrong... we don't have to, because we think he's the bad guy for a while and we don't know that he's just another victim. But, in retrospect, we must ask "why Zepp?" What did he ever do to deserve this? And Adam being a voyeur means he should die? I might be able to buy that... in that he'll be happy to live his own life instead of focusing on other people living their lives.... but, still, why Zepp? No one can answer that question, can they? Because it makes no sense. Yep... chew on that for a while, kids. I'm out!
Thursday, February 17, 2005
The Day Prison Bait Didn't Work... kind of
Last Friday afternoon I went grocery shopping for the first time in a long time. It's what I do: I eat almost everything in this apartment and then, at the last possible moment, when I've run out of everything, then I go shopping. I have a real love/hate relationship with grocery shopping. If I was the only person in the grocery store, so that there was no one there to know that I prefer Cookie Crisp to Cheerioes (not really), or that I love frozen pizza and I hate fruit... then I would love the grocery shopping experience. I think, for the most part, I don't care what other people think of my shopping... but, today, I had to buy hand soap for my bathroom because I'm running out. Now, my mom has become allergic to about 97% of all handsoaps on the market... so I have to buy specific soaps unless I want to hear her bitch to me about there being no soap whenever she comes to my apartment (and, trust me, once was enough). So I've got this mauve-ish/pink handsoap thing that I stuck behind some other stuff in my cart, because this soap container screamed "momma's boy!" I finish my shopping, head out to my car, and the woman who checked me out at the register comes out to my car. The packing girl had forgotten to pack that one item... that one, particular item. So the register woman's waving the soap above her head "Excuse me, sir! Excuse me! You forgot this!"... and I'm like "please God, now is the time to take me," but I was not smote. I was simply handed some soap, thanked the woman, and put it in my trunk.
See, it's poop like the above that makes grocery shopping a crappy experience. But I do love the fact that, for the next week or two, when I say to myself "what's to eat?" I have an answer. And I've even got some "creative" (not really) ideas for a cream of mushroom/chicken/rice/green beans dinner that will simply be fabulous! And I also got some Hersey's Kisses with almonds because I like almonds now... and they're to die for, girl! Heavenly!
Alright, enough of that... Friday night I had a lengthy phone conversation catching up with Ken. As mentioned here before, he just finished ALS... which amounted to the same or similar levels of isolation from him that his being shipped to the Middle East offered. The good part was that I knew he wasn't being shot at... although, maybe I just don't know enough about ALS. Regardless, it had been a couple months, it seemed, since we had caught up and, as such, we had an epic conversation filled with 'Oh, I forgot to tell you...'s and 'did I ever mention?'s. In the 'fantastic news' file, it looks like he's going to come out to Chicago to see the opening of my writing five show "Sweet Pumpkin Pie and Other Niceties." The first show just happens to fall on the weekend of his leave... so he'll probably take 4 or 5 days and fly out here; hang out and shoot stuff; hit on all the women I know; see the show; and fly back. What a great visit that will be! (there's sarcasm in that sentence and I'm not sure why) But, I suppose some even better news to come out of this trip is that it will finally give me motivation to clean this cesspool of an apartment. (that was a little joke for the dearly departed Brandon Bartlett)
Last Saturday afternoon I spent going to the Create Jewelry store owned by one of my Conservatory classmates, Courtney (the one who may or may not have a boyfriend if you're following the comments sections from home). There I met another of my classmates, Jenny, and her sister-in-law Victoria. Now, I must admit, one of the reasons I did this was that I felt sorry for Jenny because she's only been in Chicago for two months and I didn't think she knew anybody here. But, it turns out, her brother and sister-in-law have been living here for at least five years... so I felt like kind of a douche. And I felt like even more of a douche because I showed up like fifteen minutes before Jenny and Victoria got there... and I had to just walk around and look at beads for fifteen minutes. And, even though the store has a cool ambiance... it's a small store. Fifteen minutes is a lot of time to kill when you're in a small space... regardless of the ambiance. But Jenny and Victoria arrived... and I couldn't help getting the feeling, in the back of my head, that Victoria and Courtney were thinking I was just doing this to try to hit on Jenny (or Courtney thinking I'm doing it to hit on her... which I could see her thinking). But, honestly, I wasn't. Jenny reminds me of Courtney McKay in her approach to life, and her constant state of excited bewilderment. It's that same thing that drove me nuts about Court, while making me love her at the same time... and I see it in Jenny. So I probably feel a lot closer to Jenny than I should, after only knowing her for about a month... but I do, in fact, already feel close to her. And so, basically, I just hung out for about an hour and a half/two hours while Jenny and her sister made some pretty kick ass earrings.
Sidenote: I saw a commercial today for USPS.com. It's the postal service's official website and they said that you could use it to get stamps, which intrigued me because the Walgreens where I get my stamps charges almost a full dollar more than the price of the stamps themselves. I've just been using it because I don't know where else to go to get stamps. I suppose I could find a post office... but shut up and stop making extra work for me! Anyway, I thought it would be a good idea to order stamps directly so as not to get hosed whenever I need stamps. I went onto the website and looked up the prices and, yes, they sell stamps at face value... but they charge $1 shipping and handling! SHIPPING?! Aren't you the POSTAL SERVICE?!! Are you really going out of your way to get these stamps to me?! So, the bad news is that for 20 stamps, I'm not saving any money by using the actual post office... but for a roll of 100 stamps, the post office still only charges that $1 shipping charge. To me, that's one hell of a bargain. "Hmm... 20 stamps with a $1 charge or 5 times that amount for the same charge?" This isn't a Jeopardy question folks... this one is pretty straight-forward.
Speaking of straight, tonight was the last night of Mockupations! (Wait for it... it'll make sense in a minute) I was expecting to have a few people in the audience, so I was really looking forward to this show. The show was going pretty well, I thought, and I (personally) seemed to be getting a pretty good response from the audience. Then came the part of the show when I went into the audience. I had the great fortune of being able to sit next to Greg, who is one of the writers of the writing five show "Sweet Pumpkin Pie..." that opens in March. It was totally awesome that he was able to make it. He had told me that he was going to try to make it... and he did, obviously, so that's awesome! Also, across the aisle from me was Jenny, who had told me earlier at Create that she was going to try to make it to the show tonight, too. She also knows Katy in the cast, so I've been giving Jenny crap to come see the show for about three weeks now. So it was cool to be right next to people I knew in the audience... I actually felt comfortable in the audience (not that I don't normally... but I always worry that I'm going to be seated next to someone who hates the show or something, and it's going to throw me off). As I'm seated, looking around at the audience around me, I noticed the entire front row seemed to be very young looking, attractive young ladies. Daflos would later say something like "It looked like a prom threw up on our audience." Yeah, there was literally a row of prison bait at the show... and, by the time I went back on stage, I was able to pick out the fact that much of the laughs I was getting was of the young female variety. And in the back of my head, that evil thought floated around "You could probably seduce a few young ladies tonight, if you wanted to." And, to me, that's what being a rock star is all about. But, then again, the kind of person who would have sex with someone that they saw on stage is the kind of person that I would call a "skank"... and I would brand as such (if they were into branding). And I'm not really into skanks... so I ended up being happy that they were laughing, but kind of repulsed by their presence. It's weird how what we tell ourselves in our head can change how we view people... completely devoid of anything that they do. Maybe it's not weird... maybe it's sad. Yeah... it's probably sad that these young girls went to our show and laughed and what I thought was "skanks!" I think I need a punch in the bracket.
After the show, we went to Burton Place (yes, another bar) as a cast. The writers came with us and Katy and I were even able to drag Jenny with us. Jenny got me a hard cider, which I had never had from a bar (remember that time Sellers and I made some on accident? We're awesome). I stood around and talked to Jenny, mostly. She's originally from Florida, but has lived in New York (twice) and Los Angeles. She worked at NBC in New York as one of those people who gives tours... and she met her boyfriend while doing a Shakespeare tour. She was in Twelfth Night and played Viola and her boyfriend played Orsino (I'm sure they found it difficult to act the show... *gag*). And that's the other thing! Her boyfriend lived here before she moved... so not only does she have family here, she's also got a boyfriend here! What the shit?! I thought she was all by herself, trying to do this Second City thing, and I felt very akin to her... but she's just a big liar-pants. She is wearing the liar pants.
Last Friday afternoon I went grocery shopping for the first time in a long time. It's what I do: I eat almost everything in this apartment and then, at the last possible moment, when I've run out of everything, then I go shopping. I have a real love/hate relationship with grocery shopping. If I was the only person in the grocery store, so that there was no one there to know that I prefer Cookie Crisp to Cheerioes (not really), or that I love frozen pizza and I hate fruit... then I would love the grocery shopping experience. I think, for the most part, I don't care what other people think of my shopping... but, today, I had to buy hand soap for my bathroom because I'm running out. Now, my mom has become allergic to about 97% of all handsoaps on the market... so I have to buy specific soaps unless I want to hear her bitch to me about there being no soap whenever she comes to my apartment (and, trust me, once was enough). So I've got this mauve-ish/pink handsoap thing that I stuck behind some other stuff in my cart, because this soap container screamed "momma's boy!" I finish my shopping, head out to my car, and the woman who checked me out at the register comes out to my car. The packing girl had forgotten to pack that one item... that one, particular item. So the register woman's waving the soap above her head "Excuse me, sir! Excuse me! You forgot this!"... and I'm like "please God, now is the time to take me," but I was not smote. I was simply handed some soap, thanked the woman, and put it in my trunk.
See, it's poop like the above that makes grocery shopping a crappy experience. But I do love the fact that, for the next week or two, when I say to myself "what's to eat?" I have an answer. And I've even got some "creative" (not really) ideas for a cream of mushroom/chicken/rice/green beans dinner that will simply be fabulous! And I also got some Hersey's Kisses with almonds because I like almonds now... and they're to die for, girl! Heavenly!
Alright, enough of that... Friday night I had a lengthy phone conversation catching up with Ken. As mentioned here before, he just finished ALS... which amounted to the same or similar levels of isolation from him that his being shipped to the Middle East offered. The good part was that I knew he wasn't being shot at... although, maybe I just don't know enough about ALS. Regardless, it had been a couple months, it seemed, since we had caught up and, as such, we had an epic conversation filled with 'Oh, I forgot to tell you...'s and 'did I ever mention?'s. In the 'fantastic news' file, it looks like he's going to come out to Chicago to see the opening of my writing five show "Sweet Pumpkin Pie and Other Niceties." The first show just happens to fall on the weekend of his leave... so he'll probably take 4 or 5 days and fly out here; hang out and shoot stuff; hit on all the women I know; see the show; and fly back. What a great visit that will be! (there's sarcasm in that sentence and I'm not sure why) But, I suppose some even better news to come out of this trip is that it will finally give me motivation to clean this cesspool of an apartment. (that was a little joke for the dearly departed Brandon Bartlett)
Last Saturday afternoon I spent going to the Create Jewelry store owned by one of my Conservatory classmates, Courtney (the one who may or may not have a boyfriend if you're following the comments sections from home). There I met another of my classmates, Jenny, and her sister-in-law Victoria. Now, I must admit, one of the reasons I did this was that I felt sorry for Jenny because she's only been in Chicago for two months and I didn't think she knew anybody here. But, it turns out, her brother and sister-in-law have been living here for at least five years... so I felt like kind of a douche. And I felt like even more of a douche because I showed up like fifteen minutes before Jenny and Victoria got there... and I had to just walk around and look at beads for fifteen minutes. And, even though the store has a cool ambiance... it's a small store. Fifteen minutes is a lot of time to kill when you're in a small space... regardless of the ambiance. But Jenny and Victoria arrived... and I couldn't help getting the feeling, in the back of my head, that Victoria and Courtney were thinking I was just doing this to try to hit on Jenny (or Courtney thinking I'm doing it to hit on her... which I could see her thinking). But, honestly, I wasn't. Jenny reminds me of Courtney McKay in her approach to life, and her constant state of excited bewilderment. It's that same thing that drove me nuts about Court, while making me love her at the same time... and I see it in Jenny. So I probably feel a lot closer to Jenny than I should, after only knowing her for about a month... but I do, in fact, already feel close to her. And so, basically, I just hung out for about an hour and a half/two hours while Jenny and her sister made some pretty kick ass earrings.
Sidenote: I saw a commercial today for USPS.com. It's the postal service's official website and they said that you could use it to get stamps, which intrigued me because the Walgreens where I get my stamps charges almost a full dollar more than the price of the stamps themselves. I've just been using it because I don't know where else to go to get stamps. I suppose I could find a post office... but shut up and stop making extra work for me! Anyway, I thought it would be a good idea to order stamps directly so as not to get hosed whenever I need stamps. I went onto the website and looked up the prices and, yes, they sell stamps at face value... but they charge $1 shipping and handling! SHIPPING?! Aren't you the POSTAL SERVICE?!! Are you really going out of your way to get these stamps to me?! So, the bad news is that for 20 stamps, I'm not saving any money by using the actual post office... but for a roll of 100 stamps, the post office still only charges that $1 shipping charge. To me, that's one hell of a bargain. "Hmm... 20 stamps with a $1 charge or 5 times that amount for the same charge?" This isn't a Jeopardy question folks... this one is pretty straight-forward.
Speaking of straight, tonight was the last night of Mockupations! (Wait for it... it'll make sense in a minute) I was expecting to have a few people in the audience, so I was really looking forward to this show. The show was going pretty well, I thought, and I (personally) seemed to be getting a pretty good response from the audience. Then came the part of the show when I went into the audience. I had the great fortune of being able to sit next to Greg, who is one of the writers of the writing five show "Sweet Pumpkin Pie..." that opens in March. It was totally awesome that he was able to make it. He had told me that he was going to try to make it... and he did, obviously, so that's awesome! Also, across the aisle from me was Jenny, who had told me earlier at Create that she was going to try to make it to the show tonight, too. She also knows Katy in the cast, so I've been giving Jenny crap to come see the show for about three weeks now. So it was cool to be right next to people I knew in the audience... I actually felt comfortable in the audience (not that I don't normally... but I always worry that I'm going to be seated next to someone who hates the show or something, and it's going to throw me off). As I'm seated, looking around at the audience around me, I noticed the entire front row seemed to be very young looking, attractive young ladies. Daflos would later say something like "It looked like a prom threw up on our audience." Yeah, there was literally a row of prison bait at the show... and, by the time I went back on stage, I was able to pick out the fact that much of the laughs I was getting was of the young female variety. And in the back of my head, that evil thought floated around "You could probably seduce a few young ladies tonight, if you wanted to." And, to me, that's what being a rock star is all about. But, then again, the kind of person who would have sex with someone that they saw on stage is the kind of person that I would call a "skank"... and I would brand as such (if they were into branding). And I'm not really into skanks... so I ended up being happy that they were laughing, but kind of repulsed by their presence. It's weird how what we tell ourselves in our head can change how we view people... completely devoid of anything that they do. Maybe it's not weird... maybe it's sad. Yeah... it's probably sad that these young girls went to our show and laughed and what I thought was "skanks!" I think I need a punch in the bracket.
After the show, we went to Burton Place (yes, another bar) as a cast. The writers came with us and Katy and I were even able to drag Jenny with us. Jenny got me a hard cider, which I had never had from a bar (remember that time Sellers and I made some on accident? We're awesome). I stood around and talked to Jenny, mostly. She's originally from Florida, but has lived in New York (twice) and Los Angeles. She worked at NBC in New York as one of those people who gives tours... and she met her boyfriend while doing a Shakespeare tour. She was in Twelfth Night and played Viola and her boyfriend played Orsino (I'm sure they found it difficult to act the show... *gag*). And that's the other thing! Her boyfriend lived here before she moved... so not only does she have family here, she's also got a boyfriend here! What the shit?! I thought she was all by herself, trying to do this Second City thing, and I felt very akin to her... but she's just a big liar-pants. She is wearing the liar pants.
Monday, February 14, 2005
A Valentine's Day poem by CrazyJohn
My love for you is like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in spring
My love is... hey, do you hear the phone?
Well, are you going to get it, or just let it fucking ring?
Oh... you know, this is just like you
Interrupting me when I'm... are you going to cry?
Oh honey, I didn't mean it
I was just... nevermind, where was I?
That's it... my love is like a red, red rose
That blossoms when it is warm,
But be careful how you touch my love
Because my love's covered in thorns
For some reason you can only get my love by the dozen
And if you try to buy less you're called cheap
And no matter how well you try to take care of my love,
My love only lasts for a week
And my love is also far too expensive
Because my love has become cliched
This Valentine's Day let's do something different
And not give a second thought to this holiday.
FINIS
My love for you is like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in spring
My love is... hey, do you hear the phone?
Well, are you going to get it, or just let it fucking ring?
Oh... you know, this is just like you
Interrupting me when I'm... are you going to cry?
Oh honey, I didn't mean it
I was just... nevermind, where was I?
That's it... my love is like a red, red rose
That blossoms when it is warm,
But be careful how you touch my love
Because my love's covered in thorns
For some reason you can only get my love by the dozen
And if you try to buy less you're called cheap
And no matter how well you try to take care of my love,
My love only lasts for a week
And my love is also far too expensive
Because my love has become cliched
This Valentine's Day let's do something different
And not give a second thought to this holiday.
FINIS
Quick Post
I have been writing a lot of epic posts lately, so I'm going to keep this one quick. Apparently, my previous instructor at Second City, the incomparable Miss Jen Bills, was part of a panel for CBS 2 News here in Chicago that did some Valentine's chocolate taste testing. The news article is here, and you can click the "Video: Diann Burns reports" link or the "Click to play videos" button if you want to see the news story, and Jen being thoughtful and funny... and eating a whole bunch of chocolate. Right. Aww... Jen Bills... so cute.
BTW... Happy Valentine's Day, if you're into that sort of thing. And, if you are, I hate your guts... with all my being. Have a nice day!
I have been writing a lot of epic posts lately, so I'm going to keep this one quick. Apparently, my previous instructor at Second City, the incomparable Miss Jen Bills, was part of a panel for CBS 2 News here in Chicago that did some Valentine's chocolate taste testing. The news article is here, and you can click the "Video: Diann Burns reports" link or the "Click to play videos" button if you want to see the news story, and Jen being thoughtful and funny... and eating a whole bunch of chocolate. Right. Aww... Jen Bills... so cute.
BTW... Happy Valentine's Day, if you're into that sort of thing. And, if you are, I hate your guts... with all my being. Have a nice day!
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Blogarama
Hey kids... in an effort to get more traffic on my page, I've joined Blogarama. It's a blog directory that I learned a little about by going to Erik Love's website... and following the link. Basically, your homework is to go to Blogarama (see link graphic to the right) and leave a good review... or, hell, just an honest review. If you think this page sucks, you now have an outlet. Just go to Blogarama and search for "crazy rantings" or "crazy one" or something... find my site on there... and leave me a review. I put my blog under the "for laughs" section. Good idea? *shrug* I hope you're laughing. Well, not right now, but in general. Oh crap... now I feel pressure to be funny. *cracks under pressure*
Hey kids... in an effort to get more traffic on my page, I've joined Blogarama. It's a blog directory that I learned a little about by going to Erik Love's website... and following the link. Basically, your homework is to go to Blogarama (see link graphic to the right) and leave a good review... or, hell, just an honest review. If you think this page sucks, you now have an outlet. Just go to Blogarama and search for "crazy rantings" or "crazy one" or something... find my site on there... and leave me a review. I put my blog under the "for laughs" section. Good idea? *shrug* I hope you're laughing. Well, not right now, but in general. Oh crap... now I feel pressure to be funny. *cracks under pressure*
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