MOVIES Crash Nominated For Oscar's Best Picture: In Related News, Crazy Says "Um... No"
A few weeks ago, Chelsey and I watched the movie 'Crash.' Now if you know the kind of movies I like, you know I don't shy away from movies full of controversial, complicated, or challenging content (alliteration! Bah!). But Crash, I'm sorry, I just didn't like. It's a movie which is a collection of different plot threads and whose character's lives supposedly all come together in ONE incident. It isn't that... the character's lives are interwoven, yes, but it doesn't culminate in one scene. I also have a big problem with this movie because it's scope is too small. Everyone (with the exception, perhaps, of the Hispanic locksmith) views the world through goggles of racism and prejudice. I've never come across that many people who are THAT racist (but, I guess in defense of the movie, I've never been to LA). My criticism is that the movie doesn't show it's world in three-dimensions... in a way, every character in this movie is the same. "You think what you think about me because I'm black," "You're only robbing me because I'm white," etc... this becomes monotonous and boring. Additionally, after watching the movie, I only feel worse about humanity... it doesn't make me feel better, it doesn't make me feel like my horizons have been broadened, it hasn't questioned my beliefs about anything... if anything, it makes me feel like humans are-by nature-racist, bigoted, and power-hungry. I honestly would not recommend this film to anyone and have gotten into an argument with a friend over it. She said that the movie shows a truth about what racism can do... and I feel like it's not a balanced view/cross-section of its own characters. If you have that many characters (probably a plot thread or two too many)... you've got to show me something different. Additionally, I actually watched two people get into a heated argument at Second City in the lobby over this movie. I knew what movie they were talking about without them even saying the name about the movie. If nothing else, this movie has wonderfully divided people who are close friends. I hope it does not win best picture. That's all I'm saying.

PERSONAL The BIG Move Begins
This weekend, I officially started moving my stuff into Chelsey's apartment. I realize that I'll be in this apartment (my current apartment) until the end of March... but I also realize that a lot of the moving out is going to be done by ME during the week while she's at work. So this weekend I brought up two boxes of books, a huge box of CDs, and a gigantic suitcase of clothing to Chelsey's apartment. I also, finally, successfully connected a computer to Chelsey's cable internet. This has been a long time coming with two unsuccessful attempts and much broken computage left in my wake.
This weekend has also been a long time coming. For weeks I've been saying that I need to start bringing my stuff up to Chelsey's. It's going to be a very long move when I move from my place to hers... so I want to start with the little things early. But I hadn't done anything, until this past weekend. I'm trying to reassure CWage that my hesitancy has nothing to do with the emotional part of moving in... but has everything to do with the inertia of moving from a place that has been my home for the past two and a half years--the second longest tenure of my adult life (much more than any place in Albion). Additionally, there's a stress and inertia to any move simply in the pure energy expended by physically moving all your stuff. But this weekend was big... and over the next two months, I'll be slowly moving myself from one apartment to another, packing up my old life and moving into a new one.
NATIONAL NEWS You May Soon Have To Pay For This--> :(
Cingular Wireless... that amazing beacon of technology... may soon patent the emoticon. Don't believe me? Here's the story. You may notice it gives a patent number at the end of the article. I checked the patent number and it's not officially a patent yet. But, imagine the repercussions of a company OWNING the emoticon. What the phuk(TM)? How will people communicate over instant messenger programs? They might have to *gasp* ACTUALLY TYPE WORDS! *faints*
SPORTS NEWS Aggies NOT Rooting For Seahawks, I'd Wager
Here's a story about how Texas A&M is upset at the Seattle Seahawks. Apparently, Texas A&M has trademarked the "12th man" twice. The only reason I would be on the Aggies side for this is that Classy Rob is an A&M grad. The thought of the fans as the "12th Man" is cute... but, excuse me, flying a #12 flag and retiring the #12 is just on that side of stupid. However, I feel like the "12th man" has entered into the lexicon of sporting cliches (with "threepeat"... sorry Coach Riley)... so it's only a matter of time before every team calls their fanatical fans the "12th Men and Women" in a totally cliched, PC way. *gag*

PERSONAL "Fat Bastard" And Other Cute Nicknames
Monday night was yet another in the series of 15-minute improv sets for my Conservatory Class. I chose to wear khaki pants to this show, which is something I haven't done for a show in a long time. I've got new black dress shoes, so I've been wearing black. Regardless, I was going to wear khaki to this past show, right? So Chelsey nicely ironed my pants for me (isn't that sweet?)and everything was ready and I was running out of time and my pants didn't fit. Not even close to fitting. But they were ironed... and I didn't have time to iron other pants, so I did I trick I saw in jeans commercials where you lie down and then try to put the pants on. The "trick" worked... but I was pretty much as uncomfortable as any person in the history of pants. The show actually went well... partially because I was too worried about my pants to care if I sucked. And, by getting out of my head, I was able to relax and do the show. Fernando and I actually had a really great scene to start the show which set us up for a great show (I think). We started the show with a scene were I was "bugged" and trying to gather intel on Fernando. It was pretty good, if I do say so myself. Not that you asked, because you didn't. But it set a good tone for the show.
PERSONAL 8 Months And A Rainforest
This past Monday was Chelsey and my eight month anniversary. To celebrate, after my improv set, we went to the Rainforest Cafe--my first trip to the aforementioned restaurant. She and I had a fabulous waiter named Dany. He took very good care of us, and we didn't even have to mention that it was our anniversary. For dessert, we got the $12 Volcano. When you order that dessert they come out with it yelling "Volcano!" which is about five-shades of annoying. We asked Dany not to yell... and he didn't. He also didn't charge us for a soda, a lemonade, and a refill on an alcoholic drink with bananas and chocolate. We must have gotten close the that $12 back in all the free drinkage. So we left a pretty big tip (besides, Dany was awesome).
PERSONAL I'm Going To Kill That Phuking Dog
Recently--as in the past month or so--someone with a barking dog moved in below or somewhere around me. I call it a barking dog because it barks. For hours at a time. Almost every night. If, at any time, I actually find that dog... I'm going to kick it as hard and as far as I can. You all know me, I LOVE dogs. I am a dog guy... and for the first few nights, I was okay with the barking. But it's been a couple weeks. I'm most mad at the owner. What are they doing? Every night?! What are they DOING at night? I'm going to find those people and bark at them! Ha HA!
NATIONAL NEWS Good-bye Quality Control: Disney To Buy Pixar
Here is a story from Yahoo!News about Disney buying Pixar for $7.4 Billion. I love Pixar movies. I hate Disney movies. This is a problem for me. Now I don't know if I'm supposed to love Pixar/Disney movies or hate them. I guess this is another case of the rich getting richer. Pixar is amazing... and I think they'll have continued success as long as Disney doesn't try to control the quality of Pixar films. If Disney doesn't stick it's clean-as-a-whistle nose into Pixar's business, Pixar might continue to make quality films. We'll see, won't we?
FOOTBALL Seahawks Win Big; Will Face Steelers In Superbowl
This past weekend, the Seahawks won a huge championship game over the Carolina Panthers. This will be their first ever trip to the Superbowl in the team's 30 year history. I'm happy for Seahawks fans... because their teams have been so bad for so long. And, to be honest, Seattle looked like the better team from beginning to end. They are obviously the best team in the NFC... with a balanced offense, and a surprisingly good defense. Unfortunately, I don't think that they're good enough to beat the Steelers, who have looked UNREAL in the playoffs. The Steelers look like they're clearly the best team in the league right now. I think the only thing that can beat the Steelers is the two weeks off. The Steelers were on such a roll... they look amazing. I think the Steelers will probably win this Superbowl by 14, unless the time off gets them in their heads.

PERSONAL Skybox Proposal Rejected; CrazyJohns Ask Themselves "Now What?"
Last night I got word from the Skybox committee that Rob and my proposal for our show was not accepted. I'm trying very hard not to become discouraged, but Rob and I worked so damn hard for months on this show... and I honestly can't see the flaws in it myself. As such, the most frustrating part of the whole process is that I don't know what we could have done differently. We can ask the head of the committee what was lacking in our proposal... but I just talked to the guy not too long ago, and I don't feel like contacting him again. I'll ask Rob to email him or something, that would be fine... I would probably just be angry. I am a little angry... but I think frustrated is more the word I'm looking for. I now need to figure out if I'm going to refocus on writing stage shows or if I'm going to focus on my Level 5 show. Regardless of what I focus on next, I'm very disappointed in the fact that Rob and I won't be able to do our show.

FOOTBALL Steelers Going To Super Bowl; Crazy Told You So
Well, maybe not you specifically... but I certainly told Randi in an email this past week that I thought these Steelers would be the first ever sixth seed to make it to the Superbowl. When they beat the Colts (in my opinion, the best team in the league) so convincingly and IN Indianapolis, I figured the Broncos probably wouldn't be able to stop them either. Least we forget, this is a Steelers team one year removed from a 15-1 record. They are still, basically, the same team... perhaps even better than last year. Roethlisberger is amazing and the passing game is clicking. The defense is solid, tough, fast, and talented. The Steelers are a very good team and deserve to be in the Superbowl. We'll see if my other pick (the Panthers) do as well. I'll be typing again soon, I'm sure.
FOOTBALL At Least Favre Won Something This Year: Wins Fox's "NFL Sexiest Man" Competition
I was watching Fox's conference championship pre-game show... and Brett Favre beat out Arizona's kicker (Rackers) as the NFL's sexiest man. Hey, congratulations Brett... you sexy bitch. I would now like to beg you to come back for one more season... but can't, in good conscious, do it. I wouldn't want to come back to the mess that awaits you in Green Bay... and I won't blame you if you retire. Enjoy being sexy though... you've always got your looks.
LOCAL NEWS Horrible Economy THIS!: Chicago Bar Sells $950 Cocktail
Here is a story from Yahoo!News about a bar owner in Chicago who has started selling a $950 cocktail called the Ruby Red. Why is it so expensive? The drink comes complete with a one carat, grade-A ruby. The drink is sold at a club called Reserve. And, talk about your slow news day, you can actually go to the Reserve website and see a 40 second piece from CNN about the drink. Nice reporting work, CNN. (and you, John) (shut up! I'm not CNN!)
Regardless of my ramblings, can anyone here imagine having enough money lying around so that you could spend almost a grand on a drink? And, even if you had that much money, aren't there better things to spend your money on than an alcoholic beverage? Shouldn't there be? You could, for instance, sponsor an entire third-world village full of children for a year an a half for a grand. Believe me... or call 1 800 *trails off*

PERSONAL Skybox Proposal... But Not The One You Think
Rob and I submitted a show proposal to Donny's Skybox this past week, but that's not to what the title refers. This past Friday night was week three of my SGAG/writing five show run. After the show, one of the writers--Francis--has been thanking the audience and thanking one of the show's sponsors (we have sponsors for this show!). But, this past week, he invited his girlfriend, Anne, up on stage with him. Another one of the writers got her a chair and sat her down, and the entire cast of writers and actors was on stage. Francis then asked Anne to marry him! She, of course, said yes... and the thunderous applause began. I felt a special interest in this story as, last week after the show, I went out and got drinks with some of the writers. Francis and Anne were there and I talked with them for a while. They are both lovely people and I enjoyed the conversation very much... so to be privy to the proposal--to actually BE there when it happened--was thrilling to me. It would have been thrilling to me anyway, however. I've never actually been present when someone asked someone else to marry them. It was exciting... and I was quite happy for them both, because they seemed happy together. It was interesting to me, also, because marriage proposals always seem so dramatic... and so was this one. I wonder if asking someone to marry you could possible be NOT dramatic. I think it's dramatic by the very nature of the event. I also wonder if a public proposal like that is a little too much pressure on the propos-ee. If she wanted to say "no", could she? I mean, and not look like a total bitch? I don't know if a public proposal is the way to go. But it felt amazing to be a part of and to see. So join me in wishing a congratulations to Francis and Anne. God bless!

FOOTBALL Lions Hire Marinelli
It looks like the Detroit Lions have ended their coaching search in Tampa Bay--with defensive assistant/line coach Rod Marinelli. Do I think Marinelli is the right man for the job? I honestly have no idea. Marinelli preached discipline in his press conference, something that the Lions desperately need. He's also a defensive mind with a defensive line specialty. The Lions have a lot of talent on the defensive line, perhaps all they need is a push in the right direction. But regardless of the positives, the NFL is very much a what-have-you-done-for-me-lately league... and, short of a post-season appearance this season, what have the Buccaneers done in the past few years? *shrug* Perhaps the Bucs defense has been good enough over Marinelli's tenure to warrant the defensive assistant coach being given a head coaching gig... but the d-line (short of Simeon Rice) has done nothing since the Superbowl run. I guess what they wanted/needed to do was get a disciplinarian, and it seems like that's what they got. In that sense, Marinelli is already the right man for the job. Good luck Lions faithful. Hopefully your guy is better than what we got.
PERSONAL 24 Is A Really Long Time
I've been watching the first-season of 24 thanks to Chelsey's mom's personal stash. It feels like a movie... which makes the experience of watching it, at least on DVD sans commercials, like watching the longest movie in the history of movies. Granted, it's a good story... so it doesn't FEEL long, but it most certainly takes a whole lot of time to watch. I told Chelsey that the experience of watching it is like that of reading the Da Vinci Code... it's strongly-plot driven and it has an over-arching story, yet each sub-plot and section has an arch... making each section lead to the next in a "can't put it down" kind of way. I am also anxious to get through this season of the show because there are so many seasons to catch up on. Apparently, if your family is in danger you can kidnap (twice), kill, brandish a weapon dozens of times, car-jack, evade arrest, and countless other things too countless to count. (What?) I'm only half-way through the first day and I can already see how grueling the writing of five more season would be. My mom said that season three is kind of crap in places... and I can already believe it. Season one is well-throughout, but probably because the writer(s) were sitting on it for a while. When you don't have that same kind of time again to work with... the writing isn't as polished (obviously). That could very well be the case in future seasons of this show. At any rate, I'm very excited to see what happens (don't spoil it!!!).

PERSONAL Albion Account Is Clearly Phuked
My Albion Alumni account in addition to receiving around forty or fifty spam emails every day, is--most probably--sending out spam. Now, it is my understanding that one needs a virus on ones computer to send spam from one's email account. I do NOT have any viruses on my computer... it's checked once a week for viruses and I have the best virus software money--my money--(which isn't a lot) can buy. I guess the reason I mention this is: 1) Don't send anything to my Albion account; and 2) if you get something quasi-suspicious from my Albion alumni account don't open it. Send me a message back and let me know you got something from me. I've gotten a couple email responses on that account saying that my email to Jim couldn't go through. I didn't try to send anything to Jim so the email responses are troublesome to me. As such, my Albion account is effectively finished. Thank you for your consideration.

LOCAL NEWS Chicago Named Nation's Fattest City
Here's a story about Chicago being named, recently, the nation's fattest city. The story is actually about how Baltimore is America's fittest city... which surprised everyone--especially the people in Baltimore. But, upon hearing that Chicago is America's fattest city, everyone in town had two brats, some deep-dish pizza, and a beer or three. It's a fiesta! Oh... no one in this city is thin! Except actresses.
WORLD NEWS 2006 Brings A Leap Second
Yahoo!News says that the New Year brought with it a leap second. What is a leap second, you ask? According to Wikipedia, a leap second is this. The article also says that "the rotation of the Earth has been slowing down." That's an interesting little tid-bit of fact that could eventually mean the end of the world. It's a little fact like "in about five billion years the sun will evolve into a red giant then a white dwarf." Oops! We've got a set time-table for all life on this planet. It's not a big deal to us... most of us won't make it passed 2100 unless life expectancy rises twenty some-odd years in the next century. But what could the ramifications be to those who believe in intelligent design? I suppose those people just don't believe in scientific things like Earth rotation slowing or sun expanding. We will never know. My dad used to say, when I was younger and I had a question he didn't have an answer to, "I hope, when I die, that all of this will be explained to me." Then when I got a little older and didn't think my dad was Superman he added "slowly" to the end. I, too, hope that everything will eventually be explained to me. Or else there will be thousands of unanswered questions when I die.
LOCAL NEWS Chicago To Ban Smoking As of January 16
In a quasi-ironic somehow in a "see if you can find it kind of way" the City of Chicago passed a new clean air ordinance in December which didn't go into effect until January 16--Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday (observed). Why the city waited until mid-January is no surprise... making sure everyone got wind of the change... but why they chose to make MLK day the day to start the smoking ban is a little weird. Regardless, Chicago has a new policy for smokers: The Clean Air Ordinance. Changes include: all enclosed workplaces, all restaurants without bars, all public restrooms and certain public places, all public transportation facilities (CTA... hello!), and--the kicker--come mid-2008 all restaurants (including bars and taverns). While I lament the loss of areas for the smokers (who are becoming more and more restricted), the good news for me is that the areas in which I work (theatres with bars, etc) will be smoke-free soon. Sucks to be a smoker in Chicago.
LOCAL NEWS CTA To Raise Prices In 06; Unless You Have Their Card
As of the New Year, the CTA will raise it's prices for the CTA trains by a quarter. That is, of course, unless you have their Chicago Card. I got a CTA card a couple months ago... which makes me happy about the new fare-table. Except, of course, that the CTA was a whopping fifty cents less per ride when I moved to Chicago. How much will it be in a couple of years? $2.50? $3 per ride? I hope it stays affordable. Isn't that the point of public transportation? At any rate, my advice to anyone who doesn't have the stupid Chicago Card is to get one. It'll save you lots of money over the next year; quarters add up.

FOOTBALL Black Monday Brings A Sherman Firing/Hello Mike McCarthy?
While I lament the firing of a good man, I think the firing of Mike Sherman was the right move. When he had a good roster, he was fine... but so would anyone be with a good roster full of talent. When that talent left (a la this season), Sherman proved himself to be a below average coach. Granted there were tons of injuries this season, but this season just confirmed what I already knew about Sherman's talent and lack there-of. I actually preferred the Packers making a move at coach and seeing if someone else could get another championship run out of Favre and the current team. Now here's the problem: instead of waiting for a while and hiring the best person available, Ted Thompson (the Packers' GM) hired a "Green Bay" guy--Mike McCarthy. McCarthy is a former 49ers and Saints offensive coordinator... both of which have not been known, recently, for their offensive explosiveness--including San Francisco's terrible offensive season this past year, under McCarthy. Granted, NO had a few good offensive seasons under Mac... but for someone who is supposed to be a quarterback's coach, what has happened to Aaron Brooks? Mikey Mac is now the youngest NFL head coach (three months younger than Gruden), and I have no confidence in him. Some of these older coaches (like Belichick or Shanahan) can probably coach circles around him. My advice (if you asked for it, which you didn't) is to let Brett call the plays on the field a la Peyton Manning. And let Jim Bates (who I hope is still with the team) coach the defense. Bates is better than advertised and did a whole lot with very little this past season. Looking at the Packers' 2006 opponents, we could actually have a pretty good season (the NFC North plays both the NFC West [a weak division] and the AFC East [a weak division] next season). I'm sure you'll hear me bitch more about McCarthy next year, I'm sure.
PERSONAL Fantasy Football Results
I should also update everyone as to the results of my fantasy football seasons. No thanks to the anonymous advice from a one "Dr. U," I was still able to win the regular season titles in all three leagues. Since the Sarah and Eli league was points-based (we had an odd number of teams), I won the title outright. And, per usual, I was bounced in the first round of the playoffs with my BR crew. But I was able to survive the playoffs and win like a real champion in what I will dub the Amber and Theo league. Effectively two for three is a pretty successful season, wouldn't you say? And it brought about a new-found interest in fantasy football for me. What did it? The fact that I had so many players, on so many teams, that I was able to enjoy watching football again without worrying about this player needing a touchdown but his quarterback needing to throw an interception, etc. If I have the quarterback in one league and someone I'm playing against has the same quarterback in a different league, then I don't get wrapped up in who does what. I can just sit back and let it all happen. And it just happened to have worked out this season.

FOOTBALL Ding Dong The Pats Are Done... Finally
Saturday night, I was lucky enough to watch the Broncos (who I hate) beat the Patriots (who I REALLY hate). I was NOT impressed by the Broncos. You hear sometimes about how certain teams can only lose when they beat themselves... and that's what the Patriots' five turnovers tell me. Add to that a phantom pass interference which gave the Broncos a first down at the one yard line... and the Patriots did everything they could to give the game away. I feel bad for Troy Brown, whom I respect... his muffed punt just added fuel to the fire. But I'm so happy that Tom Brady and his stupid face lost... I can't tell you. Christmas will come twice this year for me... and Saturday night was Christmas number one. I hope Brady will be able to take solace in his GAP ads. What? Oh... I meant Abercrombie ads. What? Oh... I meant GQ. What? That was Brady Quinn? My bad.
One more thing. Someone recently said that if Belichick had won his fourth Super Bowl in five years, that the Lombardi trophy should be renamed the Belichick trophy. I have heard blasphemy before... and that was one of the worst I've ever heard. Without Lombardi, there would be no trophy to win... you HAVE to give props to the original. Lombardi won three million World Championships for the Packers before there was even a "Super Bowl" to win. It's the Lombardi Trophy, bitches... deal with it.
FOOTBALL "Bless His Heart, He's Got To Be The Sickest Man In America"
The Colts/Steelers Game turned out to be one of the most exciting postseason games I've ever seen. Mike Vanderjagt, that idiot kicker, shanked the hell out of a kick in the fourth quarter that would have sent the game into overtime. In all honesty, this post could have had the same title and been about Jerome Bettis... whose fourth quarter, goal line fumble could have cost the Steelers the game. But, alas, it was not... and the Pittsburgh Steelers, who were almost robbed with Polamalu's interception that was that wasn't (What?) (Oh... I meant that Polamalu DID intercept a pass late in the game but it was ruled that he didn't). They were saying in the post-game that it would have been high-way robbery for the Steelers, the sixth seed, to have not won this game. The Steelers looked like the better team from beginning to--almost--end... but I am feeling bad for the Colts fans (whom I love) and for Dungy (whom I respect). Congratulations to the Steelers who should, if they play next week like they did this, should have no problem beating Denver in Denver. It's my hope that Bettis gets his Super Bowl ring and can go out a champion.

MUSIC Eminem RE-MARRIES (!!!) Kim
WHAT? No... wait... WHAT?!!?? I saw this story from Yahoo! and almost fell off my couch. Slim Shady remarried the woman who, in a song, he called crazy. Mr. Mathers remarried the woman who, in a song, he inferred was an unfit mother. Eminem remarried the woman who, in a song, he killed. I'm floored!
But, then again, I'm not surprised. He obsessed about Kim... even after he was rich, international, and should have moved on. I mean, it's the same kind of obsession over an ex I've seen from friends of mine who are clearly not over their exes.
I don't know about all this. What the hell is Em going to rap about? I heard he's retiring... say it ain't so, Slim. What do y'all think? I know that Kim has got to be one of the most forgiving people in the entire world (or just that interested in all Em's money).
ADDENDUM: Here's the same story from the BBC... which includes the bit about retiring.

LOCAL NEWS Sandwich Board Resume
I saw something very interesting on my way back from lunch with Chelsey Tuesday afternoon. There was a woman standing in front of the Chase bank on LaSalle with a sandwich board on. The sandwich board read like a resume. I didn't have enough time to read it, but it included things like: "Can type [X] words per minute," "Have experience with [X]," and "Please ask me for resume." As Chelsey and I walked to her office, we mused about the effectiveness of such an approach. It reeked of both desperation and innovation. If it was me, I don't think I would hire anyone I saw on the street with a sign saying, basically, "Please hire me!" Chelsey pointed out that some people might admire the innovation and taking the initiative. I guess my question to you all: Is a sandwich board resume smart or tacky? And what does this tell us about the state of employment/unemployment in this country when business professionals resort to the same sort of pandering that you have historically seen from the "unskilled labor." It doesn't look good.
VIDEO GAMES Madden Nation TV Show More Sad Than Cool
I spent some time watching ESPNs show "Madden Nation" recently. For those of you not familiar with the show, it's a Madden football national tournament. I was "fortunate" enough to see the final eight matches... including the $100,000 championship game. I don't think you heard me... the $100,000 championship game of Madden '06... the video game. I guess this is where it starts making sense that these young men (I can't imagine any of them--except the guy from Denver who looked like he was in his 40s--being older than 25) behaved the way they did. They were acting all the fool! There was yelling, jawing, trash talking, jumping, screaming, controller throwing... it was ridiculous. And they were playing a video game. Granted, I love Madden (and NCAA Football, for whatever that's worth), but I don't get that emotional about it. And I most certainly don't think that being better at it makes me any better than someone who's not as good at it. I guess my point is that, if you have the chance to watch Madden Nation... don't.
PERSONAL Broken Glasses!
I was doing dishes today (as is my normal routine) and I broke a glass. You know that feeling you get when you break a dish... you're kind of like "Oh, I could I used that... it was clean" and you're kind of disappointed in yourself for letting it happen? You don't? Well... that's how I feel when I break a glass. My next thought is always "Better make sure I get all the broken glass up"... and then I spend some time looking for all the broken glass pieces. As I was lamenting the breaking of the first glass, another glass slipped from my hand and cracked. Two glasses! In one day! After hours of literally (read: figuratively) bawling over the lost production, I finished my dishes and wrote a dirge entitled "When Flowers Turn To Dust: To Dishes Lost."
PERSONAL New Apartment Lease Would Be $1,000
I got word of my new lease today. The price, as the title says, would be a grand a month. For everyone who has ever been to my apartment, a solid K per month is laughable. My apartment is a box with a bathroom and a small kitchen hooked on... and anyone will to pay $12,000 a year for it must be desperate. As desperate as, say, I was when I moved to Chicago. Before, moving in with Chelsey was an attractive possibility but now--as I most certainly will not be staying--it's a necessity. Hopefully, after I get steady employment, Chelsey and I can start talking about finding a place which will be "our" place... because, up to this point, she stays at my place or I stay at hers: neither apartment feels like ours yet. That will, hopefully, change come April.

PERSONAL "Mark, Why Did You Die?" And Other Songs
Hey kids... I know it's been a long time, but I needed to let you know about my first Level 5 Conservatory show. Yes, I've finally made it this far... the end is neigh, indeed. At any rate, tonight was the first of our Level 5 shows and it consisted of 15 minutes of improvisation. My class went second... but, for some reason, being on the etc stage for the first time didn't intimidate me. I was actually pretty relaxed, for me anyway. And when we got on-stage I, modestly, killed. I was on fire (at least for me). We started out slowly... but then our show picked up. During one of the first scenes, the TD Jason played a street/car noise... for pretty much no reason (the scene was about a woman trying to decide what to major in [in what to major... right]). So, after the horn sounded, I walked into the scene and "closed" a "window." For some reason, people laughed. I think it was simply acknowledging something that everyone knew... it was clear that a car horn sounded--but the people in the scene weren't doing anything about it. So I closed a window apologetically and the scene continued. Later on in that scene, the car horn sounded again... I crossed the stage and closed a different window apologetically and got a huge laugh which ended the scene.
A scene or two later, I initiated with "This year, I'm keeping my New Year's resolution" in my 1930s-guy voice. Just then, Jason played baby crying noises. So Matt, who wasn't in the scene previously, came on-stage and said something about needing to get to the maternity ward. So I basically said "So much for my resolution" and followed him off-stage. A new scene started but I didn't know that until I was back on stage. As such, I came on-stage, saw a new scene started and simply said "I must be in the wrong room" and exited. It got a huge response.
Then, finally, Fernando and I went on-stage at the same time. He said simply that he was going to go to bed and then Thomas shot him in the face with an "arrow." Fernando dropped and I was left onstage by myself. Matt came on and said something like "We've secretly switched Cupid's arrows with real arrows." I was livid... "Why was Cupid here?! Why did he shoot my roommate?! Unless..." And then I got all "musical-prepare-for-song" and I heard an audience member yell "Sing"... to which I responded "I think I will" and then broke into a song I'd like to call "Mark, why did you die?" The lyrics were nothing special... I basically just lamented that Mark had died before he was able to express his love (and I wondered why Cupid had shot him). I didn't know it at the time, but Fernando and a couple members of my ensemble had started dancing like angels behind me. I can only assume that it was a hilarious sight... I didn't want to turn around, lest I break during the song.
All in all, I was supremely happy with the first fifteen (yeah, all that happened in 15 minutes!) performance. I was happiest right after the performance. My class went backstage and met with our instructor Norm... who is the director of the Conservatory. After someone asked him a couple of question about class this week, he gave me a look. A look like "Well that was pretty good." A "you surprised/impressed me" kind of look. Norm doesn't know anything about me besides what he saw in class last Thursday... so to get a "wow" kind of look from him was AWESOME! He did say something to me about playing well with the sound cues... but he could have said I had a stupid shirt and I would have still been happy... I got a look! Am I making too much of this? It doesn't matter... how often am I happy? Let me have it. Thanks.