PERSONAL Chicago Rains On My Birthday Parade
Today is my twenty-fifth birthday. Happy Birthday to me, indeed. There are a few things to which I am accustomed on my birthday: 1) I don't work... it's three days after Christmas and I've never had to work [or go to class] on my birthday; 2) I sleep in... don't wake me up on my birthday--I'm sleeping in; 3) It's always cold and, more often than not, snowing... three days after Christmas? It's not going to be, say, raining. Well, son, times are certainly different this year... and my birthday has been different. I woke up, early this morning, to a gray sky and a misty drizzle. It's not really all that cold. The Weather Channel says that it's about 36 degrees right now. For a birthday-day that's quiet warm. So warm, in fact, that I can hardly believe it's my birthday. Perhaps this is a sign of the times, or of my age... as, taking a look at my birthday-day, I can hardly believe today is supposed to be a celebration myself. What do I mean? Here we go:
My day started by noticing dog excrement on my shoe. It had hardened and was wonderfully disgusting looking. Now I'm not sure that you know how to clean hardened excrement, but it involves making the hardened, dry substance neither hardened nor dry. This is both gross and smelly... and it makes for birthday fun! When I left my apartment to head to Chelsey's office, I noticed a smearing on the floor of the elevator. Most of the time, I love the fact that my building has dogs... it means cute doggies walking around all the time. But, apparently, it also means that poop can be on the floor of an elevator for an entire evening.
This made me hungry for a birthday lunch! And that's just what I got! Chelsey and I normally get lunch on Tuesdays and, even though my birthday didn't fall on a Tuesday, we decided to do our Tuesday lunch a day late. Our weekly Qudoba rendezvous was perhaps not a "special" backdrop for a birthday lunch, but the burrito I had was perfect: Chicken mole with guacamole... it tasted so amazing. It made me feel like the day was looking up. Actually, even the dog feces didn't put a damper on my day. My day was going pretty well, all in all, which is why I was surprised when I went to the L stop. I heard the train coming into the station while I was still walking up the first set of stairs behind a very slow, oblivious woman. As I sped to pass her, I scanned my pass and headed up the second set of stairs only to run into the mass of people leaving the train. As I was weaving my way through the people, I made it as close as three feet from the doors when they closed. I laughed. This type of crap isn't supposed to happen to people on their birthday. For those of you who don't know... missing the train like that means an eight-ten minute wait for the next one. So I stood around the train platform waiting for the next train. Boo-hoo, right? It still didn't really put me in a bad mood. Other days it might have... but not on my birthday.
My birthday wasn't going to be dampened by waiting for things. And, just to prove that statement correct, I waited at the bank. I waited at the bank for a very long time. There were only three tellers, and each one of them seemed to be doing the most complicated transactions when I entered the bank. I was easily waiting for ten minutes before the line even moved (I moved because the guy in front of me left)... and it was another ten (at least) before I got waited on.
If over twenty minutes at a bank doesn't sound like a lot in retrospect... then feel this, my 312 bitches. It's a well-known fact that the Cheesecake Factory is pretty much my favorite place to eat. Even if it's not a well-known fact, C Wage knows it... and that's all that matters. We got to the Cheesecake factory somewhere around 8 PM... and were told it would 15-30 minute wait. "No problem," we thought. Over an hour later we were finally seated. Upon seating, I was told that my beloved Fresca--the greatest beverage that only one restaurant (Cheesecake Factory) carries (that I know of)--was out. In it's place, I ordered something called the "Flying Gorilla"... which is an adult beverage consisting of banana, chocolate, ice cream, and banana liqueur. It was delicious... and tasted like dessert. I then proceeded to get my spicy chicken chipotle pasta and engage in intellectual conversation--the only kind of conversation I have. Don't buy that? Then you're right... I most probably talked about video games and strategically designed lighting fixtures. When our food arrived, it was obvious to me that my food had been prepared much faster than Chelsey's... because my food was almost room temperature. Ehh... it didn't bother me on this day. Not on this day... as it seemed nothing would bother me.
Nothing except... birthday singing. When Chelsey asked if my cheesecake could have a candle in it, I was worried that they were going to sing. I hate birthday singing in restaurants... I don't want people to make a big deal out of it. I did, however, want the candle. This year was the first year that my mom didn't get me a cake (not even to say "we got you a cake, you have to come home if you want to eat it"... which is so totally my mother)... so I wanted the candle. Thankfully, our waitress was totally cool... and brought a candle with my festively decorated piece of cheesecake and no fuss. She lit the candle, discretely wished me a happy birthday, and was on her way. Not a bad way to end my day.
Want to know what IS a bad way to end your day? Having the most psychotic cab driver ever! Granted it's not far from Michigan Avenue to my apartment, and we've made the walk before... we were just very tired and wanted to get back. Now I've heard of "crazy cabbie" stories... but they've never had the punch that they will now have after my birthday. This cab driver cut across three lanes of traffic--probably without signaling--and with other cars definitely honking at us. He accelerated faster and braked harder than anyone I've ever ridden with... and the cab fair, which STARTS at $2.25, ended up being just over $3. This means that the trip was extremely short... and about three minutes shorter than it should have been. I treated the cab ride as if we were riding an amusement park ride... and was happy to be walking on the ground when we stopped. Chelsey and I tumbled out of the cab... and kissed the ground. Nothing like a near-death experience to end your birthday with style. Happy Birthday to me.

PERSONAL The Times They Are A'Changin'
Have you ever woken up from being awake? Something smacks you hard enough in the face that you say to yourself "Was I just sleeping? Am I finally awake now?" Chelsey and I had a discussion this evening, after a stupid argument over something mundane (like dishes). She asked me if I would ever be happy... and I told her that, in essence, it's not in my nature to be happy. "Why?" she asked. "Because I don't feel like I deserve happiness" was my response. Now I was almost positive that my high school/college depression amounted to nothing more than teenage angst. That, once I grew up and settled down, it would all magically disappear because I would understand what was important and what wasn't. I guess, the fact is, I still don't seem to understand what's important. For instance, in the past week there have been two or three instances where I was asked to do something or go somewhere and I haven't. The reason? To be honest, I'm not sure. If hard pressed, I could only say "I didn't feel like it" or "I was too tired." Frankly, I've responded to people in that way for years now. In high school, "Wanna come over?"; "No thanks, I've got a thing." In college, "Hey we're going to a party, you should come"; "That's cool... I should study." And now in Chicago, "We're getting drinks tonight, you wanna join?"; "Nah... not tonight." And so on. These are, of course, simply examples... but they are indicative of a deeper problem.
Now, today, I find myself asking if my entire life is going to be filled with things I should have done and places I should have gone. What am I going to say on my death bed, when I look at my life and wonder why I didn't do more? That I was too tired? That I didn't feel like doing more? That no one ever pushed me to do more and I wasn't strong enough to push myself? I suppose. I suppose, in the big scheme of things, what does it matter? And hence my never-ending dilemma. Why even do those things? Why even go out, meet people, or socialize? I can't, honestly, tell if I'm having a good time while I'm out. If I go out with a group of people and we do... whatever it is that we do... I couldn't probably tell you if I was enjoying it, unless it was something, honestly, quiet and intellectually stimulating. I'm honestly very pleased to be doing a "game night" now... as my brain hasn't been able to properly flex its muscles since college. But, frankly, going out and drinking (or even staying in and drinking) will probably never appeal to me.
I'm rambling. What was my point? My point, I guess, is that I'm in a rut. An emotional rut... of which I'm not sure how to dig myself out. I'm learning what kind of person I am, what I like to do and don't like (I guess)... but I suppose what I'm saying is that I need to learn how to answer the phone--talk on the phone, too--or respond to emails. I need to learn how to force myself to do that correspondence that I don't want to do. And if you're one of the people on the other end of that seemingly one-way correspondence... all I can say is that I'm sorry and I'm working on it. Merry Christmas indeed.

HOLIDAY NEWS A Festivus For The Rest Of You
According to Wikipedia (the most knowledgeable site on the net), Festivus is tomorrow (December 23rd). Festivus, a fictitious non-denominational holiday, was first brought to national exposure by a Seinfeld episode in 1997. Okay, it was basically created by Seinfeld in 1997. The Wikipedia article is interesting... check it out. The best part of Festivus, in my opinion, is the Airing of Grievances. I love that idea. I love it so much, in fact, that I type on the internet about my grievances. Then I bake cookies, curl in a ball, and eat them while I cry myself to sleep. Ahh the life of a high-profile actor.

PERSONAL Another Waste Of Your Time
So I spend a lot of time on my friend Katy's blog. Partially because she now updates more often than I do and partially because of my unholy man-crush (what?). Regardless, I saw that she had a list of interesting questions posted and I thought I'd answer them definitively... just so no one can argue the true answers (Some gender pronouns have been changed to protect my innocence):
1. If you fell in love with a wonderful man with the last name spelled S.C.H.I.T.Z, would you keep your own last name? I suppose it depends on how well he treats me. If he's a good man, I would love to be a Schitz... just like him.
2. If you could have any song writer write you a love song, who would you choose? Weird Al Yankovic... or, better yet, Randy Newman.
3. If you could have any song playing while you danced with a woman that you just realized is the love of your life, what would it be? "Let's Get It On", or "Sexual Healing"
4. What movie/literary character best represents you? For years I thought I was Rob Gordon from High Fidelity... but now I just think I'm MacGyver (MacGyver's cool. Don't die MacGyver) but could see myself ending up being Mr. Holland... from the Opus fame.
5. If you could have acted in any movie, which would you choose? Clue. I think it would have been fun. Or OOH! One of the new Star Wars movies. I always wanted to have a Jedi action figure of myself.
6. If you had to marry one of your guy friends, who would you marry? Robert. He's cute and he really listens to me. I mean... I'm straight.
7. If you could act in a movie with any co-star, who would it be? Tom Hanks. Hands down. Tom Hanks. I would learn more about the craft of acting on that one movie than I could after years in the business. Tom. Hanks.
8. What actor would you have play you in a movie about your life? We've been down this road. I think I'm still going with Sean Austin. I DO say 'Mr. Frodo' all the time.

PERSONAL Two Major Time-Wasters... Rolled Into One!
I have a MySpace account... and I wanted to post two things I saw on the (stupid) bulletin board. The first is kind of fun and it's a quick one to do if you're board. In the long-history of Google games, you simply put "(your own name) looks like" and see what Google says you look like. For example, Google says: "John looks like he has a lot of feelings;" "John looks like a Rumanian refugee;" "John looks like the cover of your book to me;" and, my personal favorite, "John looks like a monstrous spined robot with a large amount of weapons." Neato, huh? No? Boring? Fair enough... let's do a survey then. I LOVE these!
27 questions that no one would ever think to ask (including questions not even asked by this survey):
1. When you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, what's the first thing you think? I'm big! That fortune-teller machine really works!
2. How much cash do you have on you? Right now? $0.00. But my wallet is over there *points* It doesn't have much money on it either.
3. What is a word that rhymes with "TEST"? Breast. It's true. Look it up.
4. Favorite planet? Saturn... because of the moon that looks like the Death Star (Mimas).
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? My friend Adam... sorry Adam.
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? The MacGyver theme song
7. What shirt are you wearing? FSU Criminal Justice (Go Bulldogs!)
8. Do you "label" yourself? Yes. I am Seamus McAwesome, Mayor of KickAssVilleTown.
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing? I'm not wearing shoes but, if I was, they would be Adidas
10. Bright or Dark Room? For what? I LOVE the fact that my apartment gets a lot of natural light. But, if I'm developing pictures, that's actually NOT good.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Rebecca is someone I don't know. She wanted to add me and I thought "why not? I need friends" That's one of the problems with MySpace. And she, most probably, deleted number 12... because I didn't.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Signing Christmas cards. For reals peoples... for reals.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? "U R late. Bring snacks"
15. Where is your nearest 7-11: The one they tore down just in time for me to take Laura there to get a Slurpee? That one's torn down. I think the next closest one is on LaSalle, though.
16. What's a saying that you say a lot? "I've never seen that before, officer"
17. Who told you they loved you last? MC Dubs. Aww...
18. Last furry thing you petted? Come on, gross... there are children reading this.
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? Mike Ditka's moustache! I almost forgot! *Runs to car... one hour later* Okay. To answer your question, none.
21. Favorite age you have been so far? 21 was actually a really good year for me. Remember me with hair?... don't strain yourself thinking too hard.
22. Your worst enemy? Whomever stole numbers 12 and 19! And Murdock.
23. What is your current desktop picture? The Lagoon Nebula. It's breath-taking.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Thank you" (it was a transaction!)
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? The million dollars should take care of that regret and the subsequent abortion... with a little money to spare.
26. Do you like someone? Is this survey for twelve-year-olds? If so, are they single? I mean... gross? But, yes, I do "like" someone.
27. The last song you listened to? "Run Away" -Staind
I'm done! Wasn't that fun?! NO?! Too bad... you read it anyway! Hooray!

PERSONAL It's That Time Of Year Again...
The time of year when the pressure is on the most... and every game counts. I speak, of course, of Fantasy Football Playoffs. As we sit right now, entering the playoffs in both of my head-to-head leagues... I've won both regular season titles with identical 10-4 records. I find this ironical in that the players on my teams don't have very much overlap. Additionally, in my one points-based league, I'm leading by over a hundred points with only three weeks left. But this is where Fantasy Football, for me, gets tricky. The playoffs are a "win or go home", "lose and you're out" situation... and I have, historically, lost and gone home very early in the playoffs. Most of the time, my good players stop performing near the end of the year, when injuries have caused them diminished offensive production. The result is that I lose in the first round of the playoffs to someone with a crappy record and (in my opinion) crappy players. This is the most frustrating part... and makes me vow, every year, that I'm not going to play again next year. I, of course, always come back to it--shaking and cold, like a junkie needing a fix. This year, unfortunately, looks to be no different, as I have key quarterbacks and running backs probable or questionable for this weekend... and I will no doubt lose horribly.
PERSONAL Game Night!
Speaking of games, this past Wednesday night was the first of what I hope will be a regular game night at Katy's. I was re-introduced to my love of CatchPhrase... which is fantastically fun, if you have a system in place saying that, if the buzzer goes off while passing, THIS happens (whatever "this" might be). If you don't have that rule, then things get competitive and stupid and you might as well just do it over. CatchPhrase has got to be one of the ultimate drinking and/or group games. Additionally, we played a game called Apples to Apples which claims to be a game of hilarious comparisons. It did not disappoint. I laughed out loud multiple times, especially since everyone who was there was so clever and funny. I think it got to the point where people knew which card I had placed because I wouldn't laugh at my own. Also there was tons of homemade chocolate-chip cookies that were delicious to the max. It was a lot of fun... and it was the first thing I've done, since my move to Chicago, that reminded me of college. It made me miss it so.

NATIONAL NEWS Have You Seen THIS??!
A woman in New York, in a burning building, tossed her three-month-old baby out of her third-story apartment to try to save her son. Here is a link to see the video... it is amazing. The baby doesn't seem real, as it flops around in the man's hands. Both the child and the mother are safe, incredibly. I don't know what kind of strength/fear it would take to toss your child out of a window, but thankfully it all worked out. And what's the moral of this story? The moral is that nothing bad will happen if you toss your children out of windows.
NATIONAL NEWS Same Sex Classes Raises Test Scores; But At What Price?
A middle school in Columbus, Georgia, has had a year-long experiment in same sex classrooms. The verdict? Test scores and grades are up, write-ups for wrong-doings are down. This is all well and good... but weren't we, as a country, working AWAY from segregating? I thought we were supposed to be this great mixing pot for ideas, cultures, and peoples. Shouldn't these children be presented with the opposing views that the opposite sex bring to discussion? And what happens to these kids when they go to high school? Don't we all know how sexually frustrated the Catholic school children (especially the girls) become after years of gender segregation? If same sex classrooms really work, should we keep the genders separate throughout high schools? What happens when those children all go to college then? Yicks! Scandals!
I know that I'm making this out to be a "slippery slope" argument when, perhaps, it shouldn't be--but think about this: It's important that these middle-schoolers pay attention in class because, if they don't, they'll never know about important things like the Mole bridge or the Donner Party. Where would I be without that amazing knowledge? Probably still unemployed. Is there really anything that anyone is learning in middle school that makes this necessary? And shouldn't we be making, nay forcing, kids this age to be working in groups and learning to work in diverse groups with all manor of people? The answer? Yes... group work, the bane of my existence.
NATIONAL NEWS Teens Think Jesus Is Cool... Or Something
Skateboarding? Swallowing live goldfish? Rock concerts? What do these things have in common? They're all Christian activities. This ABC news story tells us just that. Teens today are latching onto Christianity, as the article says, as if were 'a fad.' It also says that Christian events are a safe environment for activities free from alcohol, drugs, and sex. While I don't think Jesus would condone swallowing goldfish, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to make religion interactive and fun.
But, there's a youth minister in Naperville who wrote an article entitled "Jesus is Not Cool." This minister said that Jesus' message is getting lost amidst the tattoos, piercings, and rock music. I think there is certainly a very thin line between giving teens a safe environment, and believing in the certain doctrines behind the safe environment. I don't suggest to have the answer... but want's so wrong with a safe, drug-free environment being just that? I know that the people who set up these events have an ulterior motive (to get teens interested in religion)... but why can't their motive be, instead, to set up a healthy environment for all--Christians and non-Christians? Isn't that the Christian thing to do? Shouldn't it be?

NATIONAL NEWS The Deep-Fried Twinkie That Broke The Camel's Back
Here is an article from Yahoo!News today. The article is about a new medical study that concludes that TV advertising is promoting "unhealthy food choices" and are contributing to childhood obesity. The conclusion made by the study is that, if the advertising and "junk" food industry doesn't clean up their act, Congress should step in and force companies to advertise healthier choices. I have two major problems with this study:
1) Aren't we talking about the same advertising that also causes anorexia and bulimia because you and I will never be that thin or attractive? Can't we just make a blanket statement that advertising has ceased to be about informing the general public about new products and has, instead, become a harbinger of physical and mental disorders? Is it advertising's job to NOT leave thousands of otherwise healthy self-esteems decimated in it's wake? I don't think so. For as long as people have had better stuff than other people, we've all (Americans) felt the need to flaunt it. Or, perhaps the better question which is more ridiculous than even my over-the-top rhetoric... what would a company like Hostess be able to advertise? I mean, just think of a company which makes exclusively foods which one would consider "junk." If forced to advertise healthy alternatives, what would companies like those advertise? They would be forced, wouldn't they?, to come up with healthy alternatives... even if they are a successful "junk food" business. If Americans are supporting a company that makes exclusively junk food, is the real problem here the advertising of that company?
2) I may not know the MOST about politics in the universe... but wasn't the GOP supposed to be about giving power to state and local governments? But, in the past 8 years, we've seen an influx of new powers giving to the federal government from everything from transportation (wisely) to Major League Baseball or the BCS (ridiculously). Do we REALLY need the ineptitute of congress to say "Hey, every once in a while, eat a carrot."? I suppose it could be argued that, yes, that is the role of the government... to maintain the health and well-being of its citizens. But shouldn't that be the role of the parents? And, I already know what you're thinking "Parents all ready have a lot to deal with", etc... but my stance has been the same for years: It is just impossible to raise a child in a two-parent (or one-parent, for that matter) environment if both parents work. A child needs constant care and supervision. This is, obviously, almost impossible under our current social system. And latchkey/after-school programs are not the answer. One teacher for 20-30 kids does not work. My solution? Old people. You're G--amn right. For almost a decade we've heard the Baby Boomers pre-emptively bitch about "what am I going to do when I retire?"... well I have your solution right here. What could possibly be a better cure-all for the two most annoying demographics (the extremely young and extremely old) than to put them together somewhere (somewhere out of sight). Hell, we could shuttle those little bundles of... joy... to retirement homes after school, and let them spend some real quality time with their elders. They'll learn respect, history, and come away with a much greater appreciation for their health. This way the elderly aren't being ignored and today's youth aren't being bombarded with advertising (except for the advertising that comes on during Matlock).

SPORTS ESPN/ABC/Disney... Sucks?
Last week I was sent to a blog called Every Day Should Be Saturday. The post in particular was a fascinating/hilarious one: 52 Reasons Why ESPN/ABC/Disney Sucks. If you have the time, check it out. If you don't have the time, allow me to point you to the most interesting points on that list.
#6 Sportstainment!--I've talked about this already. I don't understand why a specialized TV Channel (like ESPN or MTV) feels the need to do things besides why they became a popular TV Channel. Why ESPN should make sports movies or sports reality shows?... I don't know. I am one of the thousands of people who would (and does) willingly watch the SAME EPISODE of Sportscenter back-to-back. Stick with what got you there... that's what I say!
#17 That Damn "Twins" song!--You remember that catchy, but slightly annoying, twins song that Coors used to sell beer? Well two (or three) years later, those bastards are still singing that same song... every week, with different lyrics, set to ESPN's NFL highlights. Something like "I... love... the leader of the Pack... lying on his back" makes me want to pull the thumbs off of the young gentlemen who sing that song.
#30 Woody Paige!--I went through a month or two period when I watched Cold Pizza every morning. The show I blasted when it first came on the air, they changed the format and made it an interesting show. But now, after two straight months of "Professor Screwloose" and hearing Skip Bayless yell the most asinine fallacies (he yells because he was ignored as a child... as such, he's learned to become "abrasive"), I'm sick of that show--watching Mike and Mike in the Morning instead.
And, the worst of all, #19 Making the story!--The item they use is Terrell Owens. But I pose this to you: LeBron James. Yes, LeBron lived up to the hype. Thank God, ESPN says. They put this guy's high school basketball games on national television. What if James was a bust? They made him the next best thing before he was even in the league. Turns out they might have been right... but where does reporting what's next meet making what's next? Where is the line? ESPN blurs that line all the time... without checks or balances, I might add. ESPN has no national competition (some might say Fox Sports... but Fox is definitely regional)... so there's no one to hold ESPN accountable if they get something "wrong." Accountability is key!

PERSONAL I. Am. Superman.
Not only am I bullet-proof (don't test that theory), but I look like the beloved actor who at one time portrayed the man of steel. Why the cockiness (besides me just being me)? I was sent to MyHeritage by my friend Katy... and uploaded my headshot. My headshot is a 71% match to Mr. Christopher Reeves. Although, to be completely honest, it's not a match with the young, Superman-playing Christopher Reeves... it's a 71% match to old, handicapable Christopher Reeves. A picture of me smiling is a 59% match to tennis-stud Roger Federer (which makes sense since we're both Belgian). And the most ridiculous picture of me--mouth open and eyebrow up--from my "headshot photo shoot" is a 60% match with Eminem.
MC Dubs, on the other hand, had a 70% match with Natalie Portman and a 64% match with Cate Blanchett. Jimmy Shy, coincidently, 50% match with William Shatner. That's hilarious. Head to the site and start downloading so that you, too, can see Mr. Andrew Groggs as a 43% match with Shirley Temple. True... odd but true.

FOOTBALL Bears Good? Pats Stink? Hell Frozen?
Well, well, well... the Chicago Bears are 8-3 and the New England Patriots are 6-5. We've had to hear all season that the NFC North is a terrible division full of terrible teams, but has anyone mentioned the AFC East in that discussion? The Pats are the division leaders of the AFC East and they're only 6-5. Guess who else is 6-5: The Minnesota Stupid Vikings of the "terrible" NFC North. And what about the NFC West? Take the 9-2 Seahawks out of that division, and the NFC West is clearly the worst division in football. I'm sick of hearing how bad the NFC North is... and sick of not hearing how bad other divisions, with teams with worse records, are in comparison. If you, as a commentator, are going to take the time to tell me that the NFC North is terrible, at least take the time to say that the defending Super Bowl champs, and the rest of their division, are bad. And, hey, guess what else... You heard this here first... The Green Bay Packers, if Brett Favre stays next season, will be 12-4 next year. Mark my words. The defense has been better than advertised... even without talent. And the offense is okay despite having all of our "skill" position players go into the game and instantly fall down dead. If the Packers can have a good draft (which they should, considering how bad their record will be), AND get all their skill players back from injury, they'll surprise everyone next year. Everyone but me.
FOOTBALL Irvin Arrested
Will wonders never cease? Yesterday I saw that one of my least favorite players of all time, and the person who's moronic commentating has stopped me from watching ESPN's Sunday morning football programming--Michael Irvin--was arrested in Texas. Yahoo!News reports that Irvin was arrested for possession of drug paraphernalia. Personally, Irvin and moronic Steve Young's feud of the simple minds has driven me away (in a stock car... that's fast) from ESPN's NFL Countdown on Sunday mornings. When Sterling Sharpe was commentating (sorry I'm a "homer"), I loved the show... and I could even stand Steve Young's idiotic, I-Only-Went-To-BYU-Because-I'm-Related-To-The-Founder, drivel. But Irvin just inflames Young... and I used watch as Berman and Jackson (who I both like very much) sit dumbfounded by the annoying contrived "arguments" that are tossed back and forth from Irvin to Young and back. Regardless, I hope Irvin gets fired... but doubt he will.
FOOTBALL Mariucci Fired
I was somewhat delighted to see that Steve Mariucci, former Lions head coach, was fired yesterday after his team's terrible showing on Thanksgiving and his personal early yanking of Joey Harrington in that game. Short of an offensive line and defensive backs, the Lions have had the players to be a team which should, at the very least, be a .500 club. My dad thinks that it's the ol' "attitude of losing" thing which plagued the Bengals until Marvin Lewis became the coach. The Lions need someone who's going to come in, crack skulls, and say "Listen to me and this team will win games." I don't know who that would be... but I don't doubt that he won't be the next Lion's coach--who will be someone I've never heard of. Hey... how about Steve Young? He's probably right in Matt Millen's wheel-house of moronic coaches. Charming.
FOOTBALL... KIND OF Super Bowl Half-Time Show: The Rolling Stones. Two People Cheer
Hey... I can't wait to see the rock band of my parent's generation (or maybe my grandparent's generation) at half-time of the biggest game of the year. I've heard that the Rolling Stones "transcend age-groups" and is, as such, a pretty good draw... but I don't think so. Could I name a Rolling Stones song? No... unless "The One That Sucks" counts as one of their titles. Why am I even upset about this? I'm not, really... I'm not going to be paying attention to the half-time show. I'll be getting food or imbibing adult beverages or vomiting at the people who are singing along. But I just have a deep philosophical problem with a band playing at the Super Bowl that started making music before a lot of the players playing in the GAME ITSELF were even BORN. The Super Bowl, excuse me, is and should be about the game itself... people who think it's about the commercials or about the half-time show, frankly, disgust me. You want to watch commercials? Watch whatever's on the other channels. Don't bastardize my beloved NFL by talking during the game and then watching the commercials, pre-game show, and half-time show. *Shakes head*
NATIONAL NEWS Supreme Court Building, Sensing Where Court Is Headed, Pre-Emptivly Decides To Crumble
Here's a story about chunks of the US Supreme Court building breaking off. I'm not going to say anything here that I haven't said in the title, but I will say that I'm still very anxious about the Supreme Court "situation" and hope that new Chief Justice Roberts will rule fairly and justly based on individual cases, case precedence, and everything that doesn't involve special interest groups (groups which include Republicans AND Democrats).

SPORTS Sox Trade Rowand For Aging Thome
In terrible sports news, the Chicago White Sox (2005 World Series Champions) have traded the amazing fielding centerfielder Aaron Rowand for the aging, injury prone, Jim Thome. I can understand getting Thome as insurance, just in case they can't resign Konerko... and I can understand wanting Thome as a DH... but Rowand was just starting to garner golden glove respect for his play in centerfield... and was a key part of the Soxs' defense on their way to a World Series. I'm always hesitant to trade youth for age, especially as Rowand was starting to really make a name for himself defensively. *shakes head* I'm upset with this trade... and wonder who the Sox will put in center next season.
FOOTBALL Lions Suck... No One Surprised
Yes, even though the Lions got smoked, I'm still mad at how Joey Harrington is being treated. After not even a full half, Harrington was yanked for Jeff Garcia. Harrington was NOT the reason why the Lions were losing. He was actually being booed by the Lions fans at the game (hey! let's boo the home team on Thanksgiving on national TV. Classy). It is my hope that Harrington gets a shot to actually play someplace else next year... as I think he just needs a new start somewhere. Arizona? New Orleans (or wherever they will be)? Dallas? Baltimore? Washington? Hell... how funny would it be for Harrington to end up in Chicago and do well? This situation reminds me very much of certain (bad) college football teams. If Mariucci (who I'm quite sick of) wants to go with Garcia... just grow some balls and start Garcia. If you're going to give Harrington the start... at least let him finish out the first half. You're killing this young man's spirits. Keep your head up, Joey. You'll be on a better team next year.

PERSONAL Another Writing Five Rehearsal; Anger Ensues
Monday night I had yet another rehearsal for my new writing five show. The hilarity ensued when discussing a potential rehearsal next Monday, a day which was not scheduled to be a rehearsal date, because of the Training Center's Thanksgiving break. Coincidentally, it is also the day which is the Packers/Vikings Monday Night game. Needless to say, I can't go to that rehearsal (my dad gave me the tickets), not that it should be a problem--as there shouldn't be a rehearsal that day. See where I'm going? Well, in this rehearsal, the director asked if everyone (sans me) could make the "rehearsal" next week. Apparently everyone else could... everyone who wasn't me. The next thing I knew, the director had cancelled the impromptu rehearsal, citing my absence as the reason why we couldn't meet. So now I'm the ass... even though there shouldn't have even been a rehearsal to cancel. Could I possibly have a rehearsal without being angry afterwards? (hint: no)
PERSONAL Does "The Boy Friend" Get Rave Reviews? Find Out Below
Tuesday night Chelsey and I saw a show at the famous Chicago Theatre. The show we saw was called "The Boy Friend," and is an early 1900s British musical. While watching it, I couldn't help thinking how antiquated the show is. I am almost certain that it doesn't take itself seriously... but I'm not completely sure. Regardless, the song about a woman needing a boy friend to have a meaningful life, compounded by the main character singing stuff about knitting and cooking while "her man" sits and reads... leads me to believe that this show is either horribly antiquated or it hopefully realizes it's antiquated. Unfortunately, I didn't see enough poking fun/not taking itself seriously to think that it understands how out-dated it is. Regardless, the dancing, costuming, and the orchestra was good (as it is in most musicals)... the lyrics and dialogue laughably bad (as it is in most musicals)... and the show became mindless entertainment (as I have found is the case with most "bad" musicals). It was worth the money, however, just to be in the Chicago Theatre. The theatre itself is HUGE... showing/reminding me of the way theatres used to be built; large and ornate... if not for modern lighting and amplification, it would be difficult to imagine seeing and enjoying a show in the way we enjoy a show now. It was a beautiful theatre... and well worth the $14. If you get a chance to see a show that cheaply (Katy), I recommend it.
PERSONAL SLIGHTED! Euphonics Show No Crazy Love!
Now I know what will be the initial backlash, so let me try to set an impartial background for everyone before I start ranting. Okay. Last spring, I got word that the Euphonics were going to be one vocal percussionist short for their recording session and, as such, I was respectfully asked to fill in. "No problem," I said, "I'm happy to help." Now, performing a cappella music with a new group is analogous to playing football with a new team: sure you know how to do your thing, but unless you practice with everyone else, it won't matter how good you are (or think you are) you're not going to know what's going on. As such, I wasn't all that great... but it was only due to my lack of rehearsals. I needn't make excuses... but it should be noted that I put myself out there, let myself look kind of shitty, and "took one" for the "team." I asked for nothing in return for my time, gasoline, and talent, just the knowledge that I helped the group I co-founded continue. But I think there is an implication that, at the very least, a small acknowledgement somewhere on the CD jacket, or on the back cover, or in the "thank yous" is polite and completely called for. I know I have an ego, this is not the question... but I don't think it's too much to ask to have someone say "Hey, thanks for recording as the only vocal percussionist on three songs and for helping on several others even though you never rehearsed with us and some of these songs you'd never even heard us sing before." Now it sounds like I'm being ungrateful for the opportunity to record... but, now that I think about it, they were pretty ungrateful to use me for the CD without acknowledging me. So, if you're reading this and it upsets you, go to the Euphonics website and let them know you're not happy... and that I'm the greatest Euphonic member in history (have them start a poll).
TOYS The Coolest Thing In The History Of The World
With Christmas coming up, it's our job at Rantings to let you know this year's hot toys. Fortunately for you, this will be a short article... as the ONLY hot toy this year will be: Star Wars Transformers. The perfect melding of two of the greatest things in the history of the world... this will not be like pizza ice cream! SWT are a can't miss! If you click on the link and look at the pictures, you'll see that they make more realistic vehicles than they do robots/personages; but that's the way most Transformers are constructed. Mmm... Transformers.
SPORTS See What Happens When You Leave Detroit? You Eventually End Up In Columbus
In hockey news, the Columbus Blue Jackets have acquired former Mighty Duck (and Red Wing) Sergei Fedorov. The 35-year-old, million time all-star, who didn't come back to the Wings because of money (as far as I'm concerned) will now toil in shame on the Blue Jackets. I find this hilarious, personally... as I liked Fedorov only because he was a Red Wing. This 'pretty-boy' Russian, who always put himself ahead of the Wings, will now be the ONLY player worth anything on his team (unless you count Adam Foote). Additionally, since he's now in the Central Division again, I hope when he next plays the Red Wings that Yzerman checks the crap out of him. I wouldn't mind of Yzerman gets some kind of penalty for the hit... he owes Fedorov a really bone-jarring check.
SPORTS The Pistons Remain Undefeated... No One In Chicago Even Knows
From what I hear, my Pistons are undefeated so far in this NBA season. Unfortunately, I have no idea. All we hear of basketball in Chicago is the baby Bulls (but not necessarily about them playing) and/or the new dress code. From what I hear, the Pistons are on fire! The offense is scoring over 100 points a game and the defense hasn't lost any of its intensity. Scottie Pippen (of all people) predicted that the Pistons would win 70 games this season. I don't know if that's true or not... the season is long and anything can happen, but if Darko steps it up and the Piston's bench is solid, it might be possible. Who knows? (Hint: No one in Chicago)
WORLD NEWS First Human Case Of Bird Flu Reported In China
According to Yahoo! News, the World Health Organization reports that there has been a case of bird flu in humans in China, causing at least one fatality. If I was living in BR or Albion, I wouldn't be worried about this... because what would be the chances of something like this finding its way into those tiny burgs? (hint: 600,000 to 1) But, living in Chicago... the chances still are quite remote. Do I think this might be a global government conspiracy to give people the bird flu in order to keep them in line and/or buying new medicines, pleading with the government to save them? Perhaps. Probably not. But I do find it interesting that a human could get a bird flu... I find it interesting that there could be a fatal flu that can't be medically treated... I find it interesting that someone could actually "predict" that it would wipe out more than half the world's population... I also find it interesting that "pandemic" seems to only refer to widespread epidemics, and not just things that are widespread in general. In summary, don't forget to wash your hands and get plenty of orange juice... I have no idea if this will aid anyone in not getting a fatal bird flu. I've got nothing.

PERSONAL Dominoes, Raking, and Malts! Oh... What?
In the story first published on Crazy Rantings, this weekend was spent in Indianapolis. Chelsey and I left Chicago fairly early Friday morning but hit traffic just outside of Chicago, in between Chicago and Indiana, and just before Indianapolis. As such, we arrived in Indy about five-ish local time. Just in time for supper. Chelsey's grandma asked if I was a "hugger" when we met, to which I wisely responded "I guess." Not my most charming. Oh it gets better (that's not sarcasm... it does, in fact, get better). After supper, Chelsey's grandma took us to Menard's because she needed some shelving guides for shelving units she was having put in her laundry room. When we got back from errands, Chelsey's grandma said "So... what do you want to do?" Now I had mentioned to Chelsey on the drive down that I would love to play board games. It had been months (maybe even a year or more) since I last played a board game... and I was very much into playing any board game at all. We ended up playing "Aggravation," which is a marble game. I didn't want to get uber competitive... but felt comfortable sticking it to Chelsey as the game progressed. Then we played a dominoes game called Mexican Train dominoes. It's dominoes, using numbers up to 15, and with a couple different rules. I enjoyed it very much and, quasi-unfortunately, cleaned house. I don't know how polite it is to be the guest and to own at a game that you're playing... but I was just trying to do my best. The domino game took us, basically, to the end of the evening. I was given my own bedroom (which was nice), but Chelsey and I had to switch the mattresses first. We moved a mattress from "my" bedroom into the master bed and vice versa. I learned how to make hospital corners (kind of), and we all made the beds together. Aww...
In the morning, I was awoken to Chelsey's promise of french toast. Little did I know, C Dubs is a vacuum for french toast. I was still working on my first piece when she was reaching for more... calling me "slow." I'll show her slow! Wait... nevermind. After breakfast, Chelse and I raked leaves. Yeah... we did yardwork for her grandma. There were a billion leaves in her yard and, after about three hours of work, we hadn't even gotten to the front. If we hadn't had to get back to Chicago, I would have loved to finish the yard. You see, in my family (and extended family) I have the reputation of being spoiled, lazy, and useless. Not that this isn't based on empirical evidence, but I am very much looking forward to creating a new reputation with a new family. So I raked like a madman... hoping to be considered a useful, constructive person. Hopefully my scheme worked. Mmwah ha ha haaa! Whatever. After raking, Chelse and I got about a million pounds of food from Boston Market for about three dollars... further proving that if one buys food at Boston Market for thirty people, it's actually LESS expensive than if you were to purchase food for one. Regardless, Chelse and I ate with her grandma and her uncle David... and were off back to Chicago before we knew it. The visit went well (I think), and I look forward to seeing Chelsey's grandma again. Aww... (shut up)
PERSONAL Crazy Acts; Gets Hit On
Last night I had my second performance of TNG at Midnight. The show seemed a little flat to me, but perhaps that was because I was exhausted from a day of yard work and driving. Although I don't think all of it was me. My friend Fernando came to the show and he said that the audience was a little flat, too. He said that the audience didn't seem to be laughing much. Perhaps, had the audience laughed more, I would have been more into the show. I know that's the opposite of the way it's supposed to work (I'm supposed to be the one bringing the energy regardless of what the audience does), but I was so exhausted that I brought as much energy as I could muster. I feel like it wasn't enough... and I was pretty disappointed with myself when the show was over. As such, I went to greet my girlfriend (and whoever else saw the show) in a kind of funk. In the lobby, Chelsey was beaming (as usual) and Fernando said it was good but kind of flat. I was then introduced to three of Heather's friends from the bar at which she works. One of them, Erin, was far too happy to see/talk to me. She was drunk (of course) so don't worry about my ego getting too large... but she was very awe-struck to be talking with me, and I was (needless to say) flattered. After she left, I said "Well I haven't been hit on that hard in a while." And Chelsey was upset. I do, indeed, flirt when I shouldn't (particularly in restaurants)... but I don't think talking with someone who's saying very nice things about your acting is necessarily flirting. And there was certainly not intent on my part--I certainly wasn't attracted to her--so what's so wrong with being nice to someone who is nice to you? Especially when this woman had been introduced to your girlfriend (as "Chelsey, John's girlfriend") and when my bio in the program says that I'm "happily off the market." I can understand her being upset at the woman... but she transferred that anger to me, and that's just not cool. But don't you worry, dear reader, everything has been talking through and worked out... and, in the future, I won't be polite to any female who I'm never going to see again. Take that, nuns!
FOOTBALL Bears Try To Play In A Wind Storm/ Packers Decide To Win For Once
Yesterday (Sunday) was as windy as poop in Chicago. Poop with wind in it. I watched the hilarity ensue as Chicago and San Francisco both tried to play special teams in the windiest conditions in which I've ever seen a game played. Robbie Gould's first field goal attempt literally got caught by the wind and thrown sideways... if you watch it, it looks like the ball stops midair and goes straight sideways. It was unbelievable! But--keep this in mind kiddies--the Bears are supposedly a good team, the Niners supposedly not. The wind played INTO the Bears strength--forcing both teams to run and working right into the hands of a strong defense... and STILL the Bears barely won. They could have lost. This leads me to believe (which is always my belief) that the Bears aren't as good as they think they are. And the Bears still have two more games against the Packers. Oh the Packers aren't any good? Well... not so fast, my friend. It has taken a 1-7 start for me to finally be positive about my team. Yes, the Packers are 1-7... but they're the only team in history to outscore their opponents with a 1-7 record. They're not losing by much... and if they had their skill position players back, guess how much better they'd be. And the Packers horrible defense isn't as horrible as I thought they'd be. They're learning Jim Bates's system... Bates of the terrific Miami defense fame. And, guess what... the Packers defense, almost completely devoid of playmakers (sans Nick Barnett), is playing very well. The only thing the Packers need is less interceptions thrown (Oh Favre!), and a big play or two on offense, and we're talking about a pretty good team. Now, even if the Packers have a terrible rest of the season... I'm hoping they're high enough to draft Reggie Bush (good-bye Ahman Green, the fumble machine) and then Hello Packers! next season.

NATIONAL NEWS Happy Birthday Marine Corps... Hoorah!
Today marks the Marine Corps Two Hundred Thirtieth birthday. If video games are any indication, the Marines will have space, aliens, and BFGs to look forward to. Happy Birthday, boys... and don't forget to cut the cake with your swords (it's true, it's tradition).
LOCAL NEWS When Not Telling Us That Artsy Movies Are Great And Explosions Stink, Roeper Gives Us All The Shocker
Here is an article by Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun-Times. In it, he goes in depth as to what "the shocker" hand gesture means. BTW, if you don't know, are you sure we're friends? Ha ha! Seriously... if you don't know what it is, read the article. I just find it odd that Roeper has nothing better to do than write articles about obscene gestures from such pristine girls. They're not that pristine. What's their name? Claire. That's a fat girl's name. They're not fat! Well, not at present, but I can really see them pushing maximum density. *scene*
PERSONAL Anxious Weekend Visit
I suppose I'm the only one who's anxious about this weekend. Friday, Chelsey and I are headed to Indianapolis to visit Chelsey's grandmother. I've wanted to meet her grandma for a while now... but haven't because of various inconveniences. This is a pretty big deal, as far as I'm concerned. Chelsey used to spend summers with her grandparents, so I'm basically meeting her quarter-time parent. Doesn't make sense to you? Um... I'm meeting someone who was her parent for a quarter of the year. Why doesn't that make sense? Additionally, since it was over the summer and Chelsey wasn't at school, she probably spent MORE time with her grandparents growing up than even I give them credit for. REGARDLESS! I'm very nervous about this weekend because of the meeting. I've passed all the tests so far (including the scary father test), and I'm so close to graduating (to what? stupid metaphors!)... I'm nervous and jumpy. I guess all I can ask is for people to wish me luck.

PERSONAL I Still Have Connections
I don't, actually, still have connections... but every so often, I feel like I do. Today was one of those days. Today I got an email from Ticketmaster. Ever since my purchase of "Wicked" tickets this past summer, I have received emails from Ticketmaster. Most of the time, I look at the email they send me just to see if there are sports event tickets that are cheap (read: Blackhawk tickets). But this time the email contained complimentary tickets to a show at The (famous) Chicago Theatre. It didn't matter what the show was (The Boy Friend)... it didn't matter who was in it or who directed it (Julie Andrews)... I had the chance to take my wonderful and deserving girlfriend to a show in Chicago for next-to-nothing (after all the fees, still at least $75 less than we would have otherwise spent), and I took it. As such, next Tuesday night, Chelsey and I will be headed to The Chicago Theatre for a show. Isn't that exciting? (Hint: Um... It's a musical. I don't know about this one. Oh well... Chelsey will enjoy it, that's all that matters to me)

FOOTBALL TO Apologizes--No One Buys It
Yesterday, I had the fortune to see the Terrell Owens and Drew Rosenhaus press conference LIVE. My favorite part of the entire press conference is the fact that, FINALLY, no one believes them--either one of them. Rosenhaus came across (with all his yelling and his "I love this man")as someone who was absolutely desperate. And why shouldn't he? He should be (and probably is) losing potential clients with how poorly he's handling someone who is, arguably, the most talented player at his position in the league. If I'm a talented NFL player, I'm looking at Rosenhaus thinking "You really phuked this one up, Drew." Additionally, the Eagles are sending a great message: Talent isn't enough; You HAVE to be a team player... you have to play the game (in the words of Larry Brown) the right way.
I've now seen the TO press conference about three or four times. I don't believe a damn word he said... and he's reading the statement as if he's never seen it before (or had read through it once). I am giddy at how terrible Owens and Rosenhaus are looking because of all of this. It's my hope that Javon Walker (who, in my opinion, is injured because Rosenhaus told him to hold out of camp... didn't get the reps... and wasn't ready for the season) sees this and fires Rosenhaus. Wise up, J Walk... your agent is disingenuous, incompetent, and FULL of hot air.
PERSONAL Tag-Team Grocery Shopping
Last night, Chelsey and I went grocery shopping together. As much as I appreciated the company (and it made the time go more quickly), not even Chelsey's wonderfulness could stop my intense hatred of grocery shopping. As such, I had to figure out why I hate it so much. Let's explore this scientifically, shall we? *Music-underscored montage of John in laboratory, with clip-board and lab coat; he contemplates a lengthy mathematical equation on a chalk board; he measures different colored liquids then combines them in a large beaker... making notes on clip-board; he lets a bowling bowl and a feather go from a step ladder; he ignites an unidentified powder which sparks and lights his hair on fire; he dissects an earthworm; he finally goes back to the chalk board, answers with "x squared times 4x pie"* Basically, the reason I hate grocery shopping is that it's so damn expensive in the city. You can easily spend over $100 on stuff that you would consider to be "essentials." When I was working, I hated grocery shopping because it took too long, and it wasn't what I wanted to be doing with my free time. But now that I'm not working, I hate it because it costs so damn much. In a completely unrelated story, I love Best Buy... Chelsey and I also went there and I didn't get myself anything, even though I wanted to. Pat on the head goes to me.

PERSONAL Can I Have A Rehearsal Without Being Frustrated?
The answer to that question is, unfortunately, no. Last evening, I had the "music rehearsal" for my new writing five show. In every other writing five show of which I've been a part, the music rehearsal has been half of the 3-hour slot. This is what the music director of the show (who does music for Second City and IO) normally does for his writing five shows, as well. Apparently this is not how my current director directs. She set up the previous evening's rehearsal (the aforementioned rehearsal) so that the entire 3-hour rehearsal was music. This shows a clear lack of communication between herself and the music director as to how the musical rehearsal was going to work. Had she simply asked Joe (the musical director) how much time he'd like, he would have said he only wanted an hour and a half.
Think that faux pas was bad? Get this... since she set up the rehearsal to be just music, she didn't show up. No director! I guess if you set up a rehearsal so that someone else is doing all the work, you can just skip the rehearsal without telling the actors or the music director that you're going to be skipping the rehearsal. Nice work.
Additionally, to further prove that this director has no idea what she's doing, she staggered the call times for the actors. No musical director I've ever worked with likes to start a music rehearsal without a full warm-up. And none of them wants to warm-up a cast twice... so they'll want the FULL cast at the beginning of the rehearsal to warm up. You know, it's a good idea to warm up before singing... some people know that and some people don't (don't=my current director).
So what ended up happening last night was that the music director and I sat around for about fifteen minutes-chatting-then more cast showed up and we sat around-waiting-and we finally warmed up about half an hour after we were supposed to start. The music director took a very long time warming us up because, he said, "We're apparently going to be doing a lot of singing tonight."
Needless to say, I am not impressed with the director of this show and, as I was walking back to my apartment after a second straight week of frustration, I day-dreamed about directing the show myself. Yeah... I would do better, thanks. Hell, I'd actually BE there... that's better right off the bat.

PERSONAL TNG and Level 4 Show: A Weekend Of Shows
Saturday night TNG opened in the Skybox. For a midnight show, and without having postcards to promote the show, and for having it raining as hard as it was Saturday night, we had a pretty amazing turnout. Mostly girlfriends, parents, husbands, and close friends... but it was a good turnout considering. I was a little disappointed, however, in the response of the crowd, as I feel this is a really good show and didn't get the laughs we wanted. Such is life, I suppose. But I look forward to getting a large, mostly drunken crowd in there to see just how funny this show can be. Speaking of funny shows, kind of, this Sunday was my first Level 4 show. The other two classes seemed to have done sketches that they had already improvised through... because their shows were very organized. My class, however, improvised our entire show. The show was good, I suppose... we still ended up making un-funny scenes funny (which is good) and completely destroying scenes that should have been funny (that's not good). I think, all in all, our class is getting much better... but something happens to us while we're on stage. Some of us (three or four of us) pick up our game and really perform well. Others in my class (far too many for my taste) freeze up, or pretend everything needs to be important, or--the worst--go for EASY/LAME jokes that make me shake my head. I even called myself out in one scene Sunday. One of my classmates and I were both on the ground, picking up balls. I mentioned something about her having two balls in her hands and then said "But I'm not going to make a joke about testicles because that would be sophomoric and I went to a liberal arts school." I suppose that was funny... but I get very disappointed when I set something up like "I want you to take over the family business" and I get "But you run a prostitution ring!" I mean, come on! We're better than that. Let's see where this scene is going without trying too hard (which is what that obviously was). I was very proud of Katy's class, as their show was VERY funny and (in all honesty) made us look bad for the first time. Normally (in all modesty) my class shows up everyone else... but, yesterday, it was the Sunday class who came away looking hilarious, well-put-together, and like a true ensemble. I was very happy for them, but was upset with my class for not bringing our best. I hope our second level 4 show (in December) will be better.
FOOTBALL My Worst Nightmare?
As the situation in Philadelphia with Terrell Owens becomes more inflamed, it's obvious that the Eagles are effectively done with TO. This situation has (correctly) reminded people of the Keyshawn Johnson/Tampa suspension a couple years ago. The Eagles will do everything they can, I feel, to get rid of TO in the off-season... but this situation gives me a new worry. My beloved (and terrible) Packers, with a depleted wide receiver and running back core is desperate for talent. Could my Pack make a move to bring in the player most hated by me--Owens--THIS season? I could see my team making a move to bring Owens in for the remainder of the season. He knows the system (Andy Reid having been a Packers coach), and--in a weak NFC North division--the 1-7 Packers still aren't technically out of it. PLEASE let us toil rather than making a TO move! (Brief Sidenote: With all the injuries to the Packers this season, it reminds me a little of the Panthers a couple seasons ago, or the Falcons when Vick was injured. The Pack will get high draft picks this year and then, next year, their biggest off-season moves will be getting Javon Walker and either Davenport or Green [probably not both] back. The Packer's defense are surprisingly keeping the Pack in the games, so they're better than I thought they'd be. And wouldn't it just be amazing if the Packers could get Reggie Bush in the draft? Favre plays one more season... and the Pack roll next year. How's that for optimism?)

PERSONAL November Forecast: Frustration With A Chance Of Anger
Well kids, it's officially November. And, if the first week of November is any indication, this is going to be a horribly frustrating and enraging month. It all started this past Monday night. I was recently cast in yet another Writing Five Show. This writing show is being directed by someone who I've never worked with before... and to say that her "style" of direction frustrates me would be an understatement. To understand why she frustrates me, let us explore my personal acting style, shall we? I've recently realized just what a pragmatic/utilitarian actor I truly am. With me, the writer's lines will be presented in the most positive, hilarious way in which they can possibly be presented. I will grant myself that bit of narcissism. However, if the "funny" isn't on the page, it ain't gonna be on the stage. Particularly in a writing five show, it's not my job to make your writing funnier than it is. It would be your job, as the writer, to write something funnier. Now, having said all this, it must be said that this is a very talented writing class. They are the closest writing five class with which I've been associated... as it appears like they've been great friends for years, instead of classmates for months. So it should be understood that my frustration does not stem from the words on the page, nor the ideas presented by the texts. My frustration, rather, comes direct-LY from the direc-TION of the direc-TOR. She has "allowed" us to improvise portions of the scenes, she asks the actors where they FEEL they are ("what are you sitting on?", "what do you see around you?", "what's in your way?", etc), and has repeatedly asked the writers to "work that out" and bring in rewrites. While this might be an interesting or even appealing way to direct any other kind of show at the Second City... this is certainly not the way I would want my words to be handled if I were a writer. Particularly if I were a writer who paid over a grand, in essence, for this one show (and over a year's worth of having someone tell you that you're not funny and your ideas are highly unoriginal). As of right now, I've held my tongue in rehearsal and after... but I'm going out with the writers after rehearsal next Monday and I may let it slip that I'm frustrated for them. I don't know... this is a very touchy political situation and, as we all know, I hate politics. I may just be my normal, bull-headed, stupid self. Hooray!
Tuesday night of this past week, I drove Chelsey to her apartment. I parked in her back parking lot, went upstairs (to the second floor) with Chelsey, put her laptop down, told her I'd be in the car, and went back downstairs. This could not have taken more than two minutes. As I came out, I found a tow truck had moved my car back to reach the front wheels. I yelled "No! I'm right here! Stop!" but the man backed his truck up and lifted my car as I opened my front door. Long story short, a five or six minute conversation with this man later (which sounded like this "Please put my car down, sir"; "Please get in the truck, sir, and I will drive you to the garage") and he frustratedly drove off with my door still open and my car unlocked. I was able to catch up to the car enough to close the door and quickly lock the car as the truck drove away. I wisely checked the truck before he drove off to see where this man was headed... a short, ten-minute walk in the dark, and $150 later, and I had my car back. To make things worse, Chelsey's phone had died, so I couldn't let her know that I was no longer waiting for her in her lot... AND I had a tech rehearsal just forty-five minutes from the time my car was towed. I could easily talk for hours about how this made me feel... and the stupidity of the parking laws that allow tow trucks to independently patrol/tow cars in whichever lots they service... but I think the most important two things to mention are as follows: No, things do NOT always work out for me... and YES, I have once again lost my faith in people in big cities. People here have no heart and no conscience... and it doesn't matter what anyone tells me about people being "good"--people don't need to be good as there is no accountability in large cities because I will never EVER see that tow-truck operator again. If we were in a smaller town, would he have towed me? Hell no! I would have said "We're just getting some clothes for Chelsey's work Wednesday... sorry Ted", "Well John, just don't park in the back lot here", "I'll leave now, sorry Ted" and so on. And, yeah, it's important to me to recognize that I hate the lack of accountability in cities and THAT means that I will NEVER be comfortable living in a city.
PERSONAL New Improv Class Showing Improvement
For the past month, I've been in Level 4 of the SC Conservatory. And, for the past month, I've left class happier than I've ever left a Conservatory class. Our new instructor, John, is the key reason to our new-found class love of... class. For the first time as a class, we have a feeling that we can actually entertain an audience with our own acting and writing. My entire class is excited to come to class, we're excited to see each other, and--most importantly--we're excited to get on the stage and do whatever John wants us to do. It's the happiest I've seen my class... ever. No offense to the other two guys who taught us, but we were frankly sick of the negative criticism... and it's a very nice change of pace to get someone who gives us constructive feedback for once. And John not only gives us good feedback, he makes us feel like our ideas are good enough to entertain a paying audience. And that confidence, my friends, is finally worth the tons of money we're spending on these classes.
PERSONAL My First Writing/Acting/Directing/Producing Project Close To Next Step
My friend Robert and I have been meeting every Wednesday night for the past few months. We have been meeting to write an idea I have for a show based on an entire day's worth of television programming; and we're so close to finishing the writing portion. This past Wednesday night we got rid of a couple (not-so-good) blackouts and replaced them with a hilarious "The More You Know" runner. And with that runner in place, we're so very very close to finishing that I end up leaving the weekly meetings with Rob very excited. I can't wait to rewrite my stuff based on his suggestions and then show him what I came up with. But, back on topic, we're so close to finishing that we've started talking about how we're going to cast the show. This is a very interesting problem... as I've now made so many contacts in Chicago that I can't possibly let everyone know about the show. If I did (and Rob did), we'd have a very long audition process. However, I hesitate to NOT have an audition because what happens when my contacts hear that I've written a show and didn't ask them to be in it? Again, politics! I can't get away from this baloney. Mmm... politics. I mean, baloney.
PERSONAL If Being Overweight Is Like Having A Spare Tire, Then I Own A Tire Store
Very recently, I've noticed that I'm starting to gain back some weight I've lost since my move here to Chicago. The culprit? It's my guess that it's my own contentedness. For the first time since my move to Chicago, I am content. I'm not trying to prove anything to anyone. And, furthermore, I'm happy to spend my evenings and/or weekends reclined on a couch with my lovely girlfriend. It's true. Chelsey and I aren't really "active" people... and I have yet to find a group of guys that I can play football with (with which I can play football. Right)... or any outdoor sport, frankly. As such, I've come up with innovative ways to get my exercise. I'm still walking to all my classes and rehearsals, but I've taken to walking back to my apartment from my weekly lunch with Chelsey. It takes me only about half an hour to walk from downtown to my place. I would walk TO her place, but most of the time, I need to get there quickly and so I exchange time for exercise. I think another part of my problem is that I don't really care that I'm gaining weight. I mean, I do (obviously, as it's bothered me enough to write about it), but what's my motivation to do anything about it? I have a loving girlfriend who seems to be happy with the way I look. The only thing I can think of is that I should lose weight to give myself a better chance at acting gigs. However, there is a certain belief very prevalent in the acting world (however incorrect it is) that an overweight, balding man IS a funny man. I feel this is one of the reasons why a person like Chris Farley had NO motivation to lose any of that dangerous weight he was carrying around. That, and don't forget all the drugs. Right.

FOOTBALL Weis Given Contract Extension
Not even a full season after being hired by Notre Dame, head football coach Charlie Weis received a ten year contract extension today. Perhaps I didn't make myself clear... a TEN-YEAR extension! Now I don't mean to play the devil's advocate, but I'm going to. As this is Weis' first season as coach, he's competing-basically-with Tyrone Willingham's players. Additionally, Willingham went 10-3 in his first season with Notre Dame in 2002. He did it with Bob Davie's players, but he didn't even get a hint of a contract extension. In fact, I believe he's the only coach in Irish history to not be allowed to coach out his first coaching contract. This is not to take anything away from Coach Weis... who I think is brilliant and is bringing the old "glory" back to the Notre Dame program. But to give a coach a TEN YEAR extension after only 7 games? (going 5-2?)... I don't know. Especially considering that the program has no idea how well Weis will recruit! Now I've been checking online and Weis already has a commitment from 5-star RB James Aldridge, who would be the first 5-star recruit since 2002 (WR Rhema McKnight and DT Derek Landri). So maybe Weis IS the guy... maybe he CAN recruit, he CAN coach, he CAN motivate, he IS the right man for the Notre Dame job... but where is the proof? And why does Weis get a 10-year commitment from ND when Willingham did not? I hate to say it, but signs do certainly point towards racism. Granted I DO think Weis is the right man for the job (a Notre Dame alum; Super Bowl winning coach), and I DID NOT think Willingham was (he's struggling up there in Washington--going 1-6 so far this season), but how can one avoid the fact that the African American coach didn't get to coach out his contract, even though he went 10-3 his first year (21-15 overall)... and Weis, the white alum, coaches 7 games and gets a ten year extension? Again, this is just me playing devil's advocate... as I love Coach Weis and ND has gone from a .500 team the past two years to having people talk about ND in a BCS game. The echoes have been awoken under Coach Weis... so congratulations to him on the huge contract extension.

SOX The World Series: You Can Put It On The Board... YES!
The World Series is over, and this year the White Sox reign supreme. I could not be happier for Chicago, specifically Chicago's South Side and Chicago's "Second Team." The now cliched moniker of the White Sox as "The Second City's Second Team" could not be more true. I don't think people who live outside of Chicago truly understand how Sox fans are made to feel. Think about it... the Cubs OWN the city's biggest newspaper, the Cubs OWN the city's TV Superstation [WGN], the Cubs OWN the city's radio stations. Additionally, most of the media members who are on the local ABC/CBS/NBC/FOX DON'T live near the Cell. If anything, they live up near Wrigley Field. Most of the local sport during the summer is "The Cubs lost again... blah blah blah about the Cubs... let's feel bad about ourselves. Oh! And the Sox won 5-2. Back to you Jerry."
Personally, I haven't been a Sox fan long. When I got to Chicago, it didn't take me long to realize that this is a baseball town. As impotent as the Chicago baseball teams have been in the past century, this is still a baseball town. Once I realized that this was a baseball town, I started rooting for both Chicago teams. Furthermore, I couldn't understand why Chicago is so VERY DIVIDED between it's baseball teams. You are literally either a Cubs fan or a Sox fan in this town... and you HATE the other. I couldn't understand why! The Cubs and Sox are in different leagues, they might play each other three times a year (certainly not enough to HATE another team), and both teams have been so bad for so long--I figured why not root for both?
Then when Chelsey moved here, started her job, and went to a White Sox game with her office acquaintances all in her first week... the White Sox became the team we both followed together. And she and I started loving this team and these players together. We have had conversations like: "I don't think I'd like A.J. [Pierzynski] if I met him. [Aaron] Rowand I think I'd like;" "Why do they call him 'El Duque?';" and "Joe Crede is my boy!" That last one was me. Crede is my boy... and was my pick for World Series MVP. If there was a "play-off" MVP, I think it should go to Crede. Konerko and Dye had great bats throughout the playoffs, but Crede had the bat and the leather all playoffs long. Joe Crede is my BOY!
But, in all seriousness, when I think of how long the Sox fans have waited for another championship... my grandfather's didn't see the Sox win the World Series in their lifetimes, my father never saw the Sox win... it is NOT lost on me how long ago 1917 was. And, to think, there are White Sox fans who lived and died without ever seeing their team win. THAT, my friends, makes me all teary eyed. Go Go White Sox!

PERSONAL An Impromptu Homecoming
Today I'm headed home. I've got a list of things to do when I get there... and I have to be back in Chicago Thursday night by 7 for class. I'm not exactly sure what my parents are thinking... there are certainly things for us to talk about when I get home, so I guess I'm actually a little nervous about this trip.
I really want to get back to posting when I get back... so one of the things I'm hoping to get from this trip is the metaphoric "reset." Oh, and money. Hopefully lots of money.

FOOTBALL I Want Sherman Gone, And I Mean Now
In the Metrodome, against a Vikings team that historically clobbers us when they're at home, my Packers were up by 17 at halftime. Favre was on fire, going 16 for 19 with two touchdowns in the first half... and it looked like the Vikings couldn't do a damn thing right. Then came halftime. During halftime, good coaches make adjustments so that the second half is different and their team is better. Mike Sherman, however, decided his half-time adjustment would be to have his team come out looking like shit. Nice one, Mike. The Packers came out in the second half looking terrible; just horrible. And the Vikings, down 17-0, came out from halftime looking like they knew they were going to win. Mike Sherman is one of the worst halftime-adjusting coach in the history of the Packers... he makes no adjustments what-so-ever, making the opposing coach's job all-the-easier. Against a team in as much termoil as the Vikings, our strategy should have been to bury them early in the third quarter... and coast to the end of the game. But, again, Sherman's halftime adjustment must have included "Have everyone get injured"... because that's what happened. Now the Pack have games against Cincy, Pittsburgh, and Atlanta coming up... so look for the Packers to be a horrible 1-8 after ten weeks of this season. They should have beaten the lowly Vikings... but not even the horrid Vikings are bad enough to lose to my shitty Packers. They SUCK... and if Sherman sticks around, don't expect the Packers to be better than .500 ever again, until he's fired. Which I hope is soon... as I have never been impressed by Sherman.

FOOTBALL What A Weekend Of Finishes!
On Friday I said that it was going to be a weekend to watch for in college football and, boy howdy was it! Little did I know, when I made that proclamation, that the NFL was going to have great/fantastic finishes as well. But let's focus on college, shall we? Where do I begin? Let's start with what I messed up:
MSU/OSU--I was wrong because Michigan State blew this game. Big time blew it. They could have/should have won, and all State has to show for it is an eleven point loss. As the first half ended, Ohio State blocked a State attempted field goal, and returned the blocked kick for a touchdown. Even if State had just flat out missed that field goal, they go into half-time up 17-7. That swung the game, and State crumbled at the end of an away game. What the deal with getting kicks blocked this weekend, BTW? That will be a running theme, you'll see.
Wisconsin/Minnesota--Minnesota, as a state, sucks. In the closing seconds of the game and up 34-31, Minnesota was set to punt the ball away from the shadow of their own goalposts. The snap was bad, but the Gopher punter decided to try to punt it anyway. That punt was blocked and Wisconsin recovered for a touchdown with 30 seconds left in the game to go up 38-34... what would prove to be the final score of the game. Had Minnesota taken the safety, they would have still been winning 34-33 with 30 seconds left in the game... that's the smart play. The reason they didn't go for the smart play? Minnesota sucks. Ha ha! Go Big Red! Oh yeah, I was wrong about this game, BTW.
Mich/Penn St--But I was not wrong about this game. It didn't go down quiet the way I thought it would, but what a miracle finish for the conceited bastards at Michigan, who scored a touchdown with no seconds left in the game to win 27-25. Hail to the Victors, indeed. Can you say Lloyd Carr just saved his job? I think I just did.
ND/USC--I got this game right, too... unfortunately. In fact, the 34-31 final score was but one point from my predicted 35-31 final score Friday (check Friday if you think I'm lying, bitches). Bias aside, this was the best regular season college football game I've seen in almost a decade... and perhaps the best college football game I've seen since the Fiesta Bowl, Miami/OSU, in 2002. The atmosphere of the ND/USC game certainly felt like a championship game. Do I think the Irish got robbed? A little bit. USC certainly played well enough to deserve the win, but I went from wished Matt Leinart doesn't get hurt this season (before the season... remember I was hoping he would get more players to stay?), to hoping that his stupid face falls off. Leinart is cocky... and I hate that in a player. Speaking of cocky, how about that Reggie Bush, huh? He is an NFL stud already... but that doesn't mean he can slow down on the way to the end zone. I just wish the green-clad Zbikowski would have knocked his head clean off. Do I think the green jerseys were a big much? Yes, yes I do... but I also thought they looked kick ass. Gold numbers on green jerseys?! For years I've thought the Packers should embrace gold instead of the ugly, loud yellow they have in their jerseys. How cool would the Packers look if they were literally green and gold? (answer: VERY) All in all, I'm sure after next season, when the seniors Quinn and Samardzija and the junior running back Darius "Doak" Walker head to USC to smash the Leinart/Bush-less Trojans, I'll look back at this game and say "What a great game that was." But, to paraphrase Lou Holtz, it's only a great/classic game if your team wins it. As such, let's not talk about this one for a while, shall we?

PERSONAL Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich!
As Chelsey and I were walking from Chipotle to Millennium Park yesterday afternoon, we passed a swank Chicago downtown hotel (The Hotel Burnham). Chelse and I have started having lunch together downtown on Tuesdays. I figured Tuesday was a good day because, by Wednesday, you're already thinking about Friday and the weekend. But nothing good happens Tuesdays... that is, until we decided to eat lunch together. Regardless, Chelsey and I were walking from Chipotle to Millennium Park and while we were passing the Hotel Burnham, I noticed a man in blue jeans on a cell phone. When he turned to me, I almost gasped aloud: John Malkovich. He had about a day or twos worth of stubble, which was white and sparse... and his head was shaved but had the same amount of stubble up top as well. But, sure as the sunshine, it was Malkovich. I told Chelsey to look, but when she looked back, she didn't see him. In retrospect, we think we should have been annoying and asked for autographs and pictures... but we didn't do either. We did, in fact, spend the next three blocks trying to convince our girlfriends that we had just seen John Malkovich. And by "we" I mean "I."
PERSONAL Writing Five Show Number Three Begins
Monday night was my first rehearsal of the new writing five show in which I was cast. This is the first writing five show that I've been cast in which isn't being directed by Joe... and I think I already miss him. For some reason, other directors (my current director makes two that I've seen) who direct writing five shows think that improvisation has something to do with the show. Um... no, it doesn't. As a matter of fact, improv has the complete opposite of something to do with writing five shows (read: nothing). Writing five shows are all about performing the scenes with the exact words these writing students have spent a year and around a thousand dollars crafting. Yes, some of them still suck... they're good ideas trapped by bad language, stale characters, or cliche... but these people spent a thousand dollars, basically, producing this one show. It's their show... I'm just a vessel for it: good or bad. Regardless, I find it interesting that the first hour of our rehearsal Monday night was spent doing improv games and songs. I guess the cool part about it, however, was that the director had the writers play along with us. That was pretty cool... as it wasn't six people doing stupid stuff in front of six-eight people just sitting there. FYI, the writers are a REALLY close group. It's very interesting to see... but they seem like they'd be much happier putting on the show themselves, sans the training center and the professional director. I think this will be an... well, an experience which I will most probably find interesting, regardless of whether or not it really is interesting. This show won't open until January, so look for me to rave about it in the coming months. Thanks.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL Huge Football Weekend for the NCAA
This Saturday marks the huge #9 Notre Dame/#1 USC game. It seems like everyone is picking Notre Dame as their "upset" pick. A wise man once posed the question, "If everyone is picking one team, how can it be an upset?" Well, I'll pick the non-upset team then... I think USC wins this game. I think USC will come out guns blazing, get a large lead... and Notre Dame will chip away at that lead for the rest of the game, but will run out of time. The score will be in the thirties, I think... 35-31 USC.
But there are two other games that aren't getting much hype, even though they might be good ones. #16 Michigan State @ #15 Ohio State... Ohio State has disappointed me this season, and I think MSU's offense should actually be able to handle OSU's vaunted defense. Look for MSU to blow out OSU if Drew Stanton gets hot and, if not, MSU still wins a close game. Also #8 Penn State @ Michigan... The big house isn't as intimidating as I always would think it should be. However, Michigan NEEDS this win to salvage their 3-3 season. Michigan will come out focused, and Penn State will be exposed as a fraud. Look for Michigan to win this game perhaps on intensity alone... and look for Mike Hart to have a big game because he's a stud.
Other games to watch for: #23 Wisconsin @ #22 Minnesota--people in Wisconsin hate people in Minnesota and vice versa. Even though I love Wisconsin, I think Minnesota wins on that terrible Metrodome turf; #24 Colorado @ #2 Texas--Texas might have a let-down after the Oklahoma game, but they're too good to lose to Colorado; #11 Florida @ #10 LSU--I think both of these teams aren't as good as they think they are. Florida ends up winning this game, but it will be ugly.

PERSONAL I Feel Poopy... Oh So Poopy
It's not schmoopie how poopy I feel! (Poopy I feel)
And I would be any one who isn't me today! (La-la-la-la-laaa la-la laaa la-laaa)
I've finally succumb to an illness. My first of the "season," as it were. A nagging cough will most probably follow me throughout the rest of the calendar year... but yesterday marked the first day of my first illness of the winter months. For those of you who know my illness cycle (which I don't know who that would be), the first day is always a "Huh, I think I'm getting sick" feeling... and then the second day [today] is a "Oh I feel horrible" feeling. After day two, I will get progressively better until all that remains is the aforementioned nagging cough. Last night, the lovely and talented Miss Chelsey took care of me. She crammed cough drops into my mouth, bought me medicine from the store, and reminded me that nobody likes a big whiner pants (which is what I was wearing). All of the care for me must have been too much for her, as she fell asleep while I was watching "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story." Laughter is the best medicine. As such, today I watched "AVP" [get the segue? It's such a horrible movie that it's funny?!] while drinking tea. People who know me know that I don't drink tea... but I did it because Chelsey wanted me to. See? Even though I'm the most block-headed man I know... I can still be trained. Like a dog. Speaking of dogs... ???
PERSONAL Be Careful For What You Wish
Almost five years ago I fell in love with the most beautiful head of red hair I have ever seen. It was long, it was curly, and it was meticulously well-maintained. It was heavenly. I wanted to smell it, touch it, and--when no one was looking--put it in my mouth. ("Gross!" I know... but you know me. You know it's true) Now, about five years later, I'm dating the girl whose hair is still long, red, well-maintained, and gorgeous. But here's something I, being a balding man with short hair, didn't know: women's hair sheds. It sheds like dog hair because it gets all over the place. There's red hair on my floor, on my bed, in my bathroom, in my kitchen, sometimes even in my food (somehow)... it's everywhere! Sometimes I still put it in my mouth, I won't lie. But only when Chelsey's around and only when she's paying attention so she can say, "John! Gross! Stop it!" Heehee... I'm evil and insane. Regardless, there's enough hair in my apartment right now to make my own Chelsey wig. *nods* I'm thinking about it. *coughs* I'm sick! Be nice to me and let me make a Chelsey wig! *pause* Thanks.

SPORTS "Controversial" Call Gives Sox Game 2
If you haven't seen it yet, you will. In the bottom of the ninth inning of the Sox/Angels game tonight, A.J. Pierzynski struck out swinging for the third out. But the Umpire didn't call A.J. out because the pitch possibly hit the dirt before being caught. On plays like that, the batter can run to first and won't be out. A.J. ran to first while the Angels started walking off the field: A.J. being safe at first. The controversy arises in the fact that the replays make it look like Angels catcher Josh Paul caught the ball out of the air. So Pierzynski should have been out. Here's where I stand: A.J. took advantage of the fact that the umpires are human and that humans make mistakes. The umpire made a mistake, but I can most certainly understand why he thought the ball was trapped. It's a very close call to begin with, and Paul caught the ball with his glove downside-up... making it difficult to tell if the ball hits the glove then the ground or the other way round. If baseball doesn't want human beings to factor into the game, they should work some kind of replay into the game. If they're not going to look into replay, they can't claim that any call made by an umpire is "unfair." Umpires, like all referees in all sports, make mistakes. Tonight's umpire mistake is completely understandable... and it's the Angels fault for not following through a routine play by tagging the runner on what might have been a trapped pitch. It happens all the time... even when the ball seems to be caught, the catcher tags the batter just to make sure. Paul should have tagged Pierzynski... he didn't follow through. Now, I fear that like Buckner (NOT the last game of the series [Game 6]) or Bartman (NOT the last game of the series [Game 6]), this call will be blamed if the Angels lose this series. That's a shame, as the Angels have up to five more games to overcome this "controversy." If the Angels lose this series, they only have themselves to blame. Regardless, Buehrle pitched an AMAZING complete game... and deserved the win. Let's hope the Sox can get three more. Go Sox!

MOVIE NEWS Daniel Craig: The New Bond. Thousands Of People Collectively Say "Who?"
It looks as though they've cast the new James Bond: Daniel Craig. Yes, we all know that we don't know him... but I do actually recognize him. I remember him from Tomb Raider ("I love Tomb Raider cause it's gots the boobies"). He played Alex West, the "bad" tomb raider who Lara Croft hates to love. I affectionately refer to him in that movie as the "ugly guy." Yeah. I spent much of the first tomb raider movie wondering why super hottie Angelina Jolie would be interested in "that ugly guy." Now the infamous Bond women will be all over the "ugly guy." *shakes head* Just because he's actually British!

SPORTS Chicago Media Breaks Collective Ankle Jumping Off White Sox Bandwagon
Well, the White Sox of Chicago lost the opening game of the ALCS (by the final score of 3-2) to the Angels of wherever they're from. It should be said that, while he was given the loss, Jose Contreras pitched a very good game: 4 Ks, 0 Walks, and he held Vlad Guerrero to an 0-4 outing. Had Contreras not given up the home run to Anderson in the second, he might have pitched well enough to get a win. The problem is not with Sox pitching but, rather, base-running of all things. Two runners caught stealing, and inaccurate bunting killed potential ralleys... leading to Chicago sportswriters (like Mariotti) saying that the Sox were "out-smallballed." Okay, I will grant that the Sox manufacture runs very well, but it's not all they do. We're talking about a White Sox team which was fifth in the American League in Home Runs this season (200). Yes, they were also fourth in stolen bases (with 137; the Angels were first with 161); and yes, they like to get players on, steal some bases, and manufacture a run... but we're talking about a White Sox team that can REALLY hit the long ball. Perhaps the Angels were running on pure adrenaline last night... leading to a huge let-down tonight. We'll see... but, regardless, one game is too soon to give up on the team. Go Sox!
FOOTBALL My Packers Destroy A Team Already Destroyed By Katrina: Or This Week America Hates The Packers
This weekend, my Green Bay Packers finally got off the schnide by destroying the Saints 52-3. I'm sorry, I don't think y'all heard me. My previously 0-4 Packers beat another NFL team FIFTY TWO to THREE! Granted, the Saints aren't very good... and they'll never be comfortable this season, as their "home" games are anything but home games. But I have to give my Pack some DAP... the defense finally showed up. The Packers' defense, who I would argue is the least talented defense in the league, may have finally figured out new Packer defensive coordinator, Jim Bates', system.
Unfortunately, the injury list of the Packers' roster got larger... as Davenport has a great game, two touchdowns, and then broke his leg. The roster now looks like a who's who of who? The defensive depth chart is full of first-year players. The offense isn't much better. Center Mike Flanagan was out, and both offensive tackles are on the injured list; the Packers may have to start third-string RB Tony Fisher ("Oh, Fisher. He's Notre Dame, huh?" my mother would say); the Packers' top two wide receivers are fine, but after them... there's not a lot left. Even though my Packers are a much better 1-4 (remember they were 1-4 after five games last year and then won the division?) than 0-4, I don't have much hope for this year. This year will most certainly test Mr. Favre's resolve and it's my guess that he'll not be "into" waiting around while the Packers rebuild. This season will probably be Favre's last. *shakes head*... Let's hope we can at least get back to the playoffs for Favre's sake. Go Pack Go!