Thanks to Amy Feder for posting a survey. I LOVE these things!!!

-- Name: John Steeno
-- Birthdate: December 28, 1980 (Hey Feder! you were born in 1984... we could get married!)
-- Birthplace: Macomb, IL
-- Current Location: Chicago, IL
-- Eye Color: baby blue
-- Hair Color: it's going to be brown with a 60% chance of balding, so bundle up.
-- Height: 5' 10''
-- Righty or Lefty: Oh, this will be fun. I don't think I've ever made a list. Things I do left-handed: throwing footballs, hockey, tennis, serving or spiking a volleyball, baseball, golf, using a hammer, bowling, eating (mostly left-handed), brushing my teeth, talking on the phone (it's always in my left hand). Things I do right-handed: writing, basketball, frisbee, throwing darts, using a screwdriver, cutting with scissors, bowling (More control right-handed, stronger left-handed. It's true, ask Nate or Jason), eating, brushing teeth (I switch).... and I've got two hands for lovin' the ladies. Oww owww!!!
BTW... let me know if I'm missing anything from that list. And, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking... the answer is left-handed. You sick fuck.
-- Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

LAYER TWO: On The Inside
-- Your heritage: Belgian, Irish, French-Canadian, Austrian/German... Hey, do you have any Irish in you? *wink*
-- The shoes you wore today: ADIDAS
-- Your weakness: women and food. And especially women with food.
-- Your fears: Drowning; being buried alive; anything that gives me a lot of time to think and know that I'm about to die; the meaninglessness of all existence
-- Your perfect pizza: Ham, Pineapple, Jalapenos
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: I've always wanted to bang the prom queen. It doesn't matter which prom... I'll take any queen. (get back Elton John! [oh... that was a cheap joke])

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
-- Your most overused phrase: "Is that what the kids are saying now-a-days?", and all things condescending.
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Ahh... fuck. What the... oh man it's 9, why am I even awake?
-- Your best physical feature: My eyes and Feder's butt. What? My eyes.
-- Your bedtime: like 2 or 3.
-- Your most missed memory: What? If I miss the memory, I don't remember it, right? Um... so that one great memory I had that I lost. I don't understand this question at all. Oh... is it a memory of what I miss most? Hmm... I, honestly, think it's either watching SpongeBob SquarePants with Mr. John Sellers while eating dinner; or something like pissing off Courtney, or hitting on Randi, while Amber and Sarah try to no avail to get me to lay off.

LAYER FOUR: Your Pick
-- Pepsi or Coke: I'm not from the dirty south. I'll take a Pepsi, please
-- McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King. McDonalds sucks.
-- Single or group dates: At this point, I'll take either.
-- Adidas or Nike: Adidas
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: What?! Well, I do like that Brisk stuff, and that's Lipton.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: I don't drink either. But Cappuccino isn't a euphemism for a date that will most certainly lead to sexual intercourse, so I'll say coffee.

LAYER FIVE: Do You?
-- Smoke: No
-- Cuss: It's tough not to. I didn't cuss for all of Easter once... beating the pants of Randi in a bet (which I STILL say I won. I said "damn" and Randi said "fuck"; which is worse?)
-- Have a crush(es): The only thing that gets me through the day.
-- Do you think you've been in love: *sigh* yes
-- Want to go to college: Again? Why not?
-- Like high school: Not any more. I think I got too smart.
-- Want to get married: Are you asking? "Do you, survey, take this man..." Let's see if THAT gets past W.
-- Believe in yourself: Nope. And yes.
-- Get motion sickness: Nope.
-- Think you're a health freak?: Are you asking if I think I'm a freak? Then, no.
-- Get along with your parents: Yeah... the Rents are still jumpin' off houses.
-- Like thunderstorms: When I'm inside, yes. When I'm outside, no.
-- Play an instrument: I've learned and forgotten how to play more instruments than I care to disclose. (Hint: two)

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Yes
-- Smoked: No
-- Done a drug: Um... alcohol technically counts, so yes.
-- Made Out: Ah... no.
-- Gone on a date: Um... no.
-- Gone to the mall: No.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I could do that... but no.
-- Eaten sushi: Not in the past month
-- Been on stage: It's almost like I've been living there.
-- Been dumped: Ha! that would have been welcomed.
-- Gone skating: No
-- Made homemade cookies: Actually... yes
-- Gone skinny dipping: "if skinny dipping can be applied to land as well as water, then yes." What the fuck does that mean, Feder? You've swam naked in the land? You make no sense. And, no, I've got that mental thing where I can't be naked... even when I shower.
-- Dyed your hair: My hair has died. Ah ha ha haaa... damnit.
-- Stolen anything: Like the minds and hearts of millions? Then, no.

LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: I wouldn't say that, no.
-- Been caught "doing something": I'm pretty sure Sellers knew what was going on.
-- Been called a tease: Yeah. I'm awesome.
-- Gotten beaten up: Not really.
-- Shoplifted: From an actual shop, no. I did steal some mints from a display that said "pay a dollar to support..." whoever. Then I felt so bad, I went back the next day and put in like three dollars.

LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older
-- Age you hope to be married: I hope I'm married by the time I'm sixty. And we'll work backwards from there. Hell, I hope I'm married by the time I'm 35... because, by that time, my wife and I would really have to start kickin' out kids if I'm going to get my whole football team.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: How ironic that you ask that. I'm going to name them all their jersey number... you know, for the football team. There will be #4, #44, #80, #88, #25, I could go on forever.
-- How do you want to die: I want to die in a way that people laugh when they hear it... but then remember that someone died, and it makes them feel bad. Like slipping on a banana peel and falling into a vat of pudding. I love making people laugh and then feel bad. It's my two favorite things!
-- Where you want to go to college: Notre Dame Law School.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Rich.
-- What country would you most like to visit: Well... I'm going to England in May. But I'd love to go to Ireland. So green... and Irish... so many red headed women. Mmm...

LAYER NINE: In a partner
-- Best eye color?: Green
-- Best hair color?: COME ON. We all know this one.
-- Short or long hair: Long. I'm not digging this "short hair empowers me" shit. I've got short hair... and it just makes me feel bald. If you can grow it, fucking keep it. Women are stupid.
-- Height: I obviously have no preference here. But anyone over 6'3" would have to be a pretty special lady.

LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: probably less than a dozen of you. And, in all honesty, there are probably very few women. Sorry ladies... When I think of trusting my life with someone, I think of Ken and his hundreds and hundreds of guns. Although, now that I think about it, if I had to trust someone to keep a secret about my location, there are probably few men I could trust (this means you Ken, you big-mouthed bass-tard). So there are men I would trust with my life if it means shooting someone; and there are women I would trust with my life if it meant being smart.
-- Number of CDs that I own: A million billion
-- Number of piercings: 0
-- Number of tattoos: "there's one of a butt on my butt" Way to steal from Butt-Head, Feder. I have zero tattoos, but that might change.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the news paper: A zillion billion. I'm famous.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: I regret doing this survey (Zing!)... And I regret almost everything ever... because I'm Catholic and eternally will feel guilt and regret. Hooray!