Edible Bacon
This is why I wouldn't want to be famous. Apparently, when you're famous, the entire country is privy to your fears, no matter how phuked up they are. Here's an article about how Kevin Bacon fears that his dog will bite his genitals whenever his dog ever sees him naked. Hilariously, he apparently says "This is not a rubber chew toy!" whenever the dog sees his phallus. I have myriad questions, but the most burning being: Why is he walking around naked in front of his dog? I guess if you're Kevin Bacon and can make horses jealous (yes, like that... I've seen Wild Things) you just walk around cock flapping in front of animals whenever you can. It's much the same way I walk around naked in bakeries. "You think THOSE rolls are good," I say (this is a fat joke).