Meet The Parents
Friday, May 27th
After having successfully met my parents, it was my turn to be put under the hot lights of parental scrutiny. The fun part was that I had a long time to think about the meeting on my way from Chicago to Grand Rapids. The even more fun part was that I wasn't meeting Chelsey's parents at her house... I was meeting them in a scary, backwoods cabin! What could possibly go wrong? *whines*
I picked Chelsey up around lunchtime and we headed to a Wendy's. This became the last time of the day during which I was able to breathe semi-normally. After Wendy's, I was able to easily and quickly hyperventilate on command.
What would possibly lead to my abnormally fast or deep respiration? In addition to the fact that I was meeting Chelsey's parents for the first time, I was meeting them in a hunting (hello!) cabin in White Cloud (HELLO!). For those of you who aren't acquainted with White Cloud, consider yourselves lucky and RUN! Save yourself! I'll hold them off! Look... people of White Cloud... I have something shiny! It is called a MIR-OR... and if you defy me, I will steal your soul and put it in my MIR-OR!
That should have done it. No need to thank me... the smiles of the children are thanks enough. What? I don't know. Where was I? Ah yes... headed to White Cloud. The drive to White Cloud seemed to take forever... and I got more and more worried as time went on, because I knew I was getting close. And I knew I was getting very close when the paved road became a dirt road. Ugh! Dirt roads! My poor car! My gratuitous whining!
Chelsey was being very confusing as we got closer. She would tell me that her dad is fine... and that I shouldn't worry about him, and then she'd tell me something I shouldn't say or do. It really wasn't as bad as that sentence just sounded... but in my hyper-sensitive state, it seemed worse. Fortunately for me, we arrived at the cabin while her dad was mowing the lawn... so he was going to be busy for a while. While he was preoccupied, Chelse and I went for a walk around the cabin with her mom.
Chelsey's mom put me at ease. I knew that Chelsey had the same kind of relationship with her mother that I have with my dad... so I figured that her mom would at least pretend to like me for Chelsey's sake. But, honestly, Moms love me! I can't think of a mom that doesn't like me... moms think I'm awesome.
But dads... ooo... dads are another story. And Chelsey's dad is a lovely combination of the quite intimidation that was Karen's dad, and the fabulous love of firearms that is Laura's dad. With Laura's dad, he was personable, outgoing, and very nice to talk to (if I could get over the fear); and Karen's dad didn't scare me... I just didn't know what he thought of me because he wouldn't talk, or react. Ahh but then there's Chelsey's dad. Yes, picture an ex-Marine who, after he mowed the lawn, and while I was in the cabin with his daughter and his wife, came in... washed his hands... didn't acknowledge my presence... talked a bit with his wife... and left the cabin again. I was like, "Um... what?" To this scenario, Chelsey leaned over to me and said "You passed." And that made me go "Huh? Whah huh blable?!" (that's a direct quote).
To keep me from saying something stupid, Chelsey took me for a walk at this point. Good for her... as, by the time we came back, it was time for dinner. The pickings in White Cloud are slim... so we decided to go to Big Rapids to eat. Never before in my entire life has Big Rapids been a step up from wherever I was. That was a new experience. And, speaking of new experiences... I had never driven from White Cloud to Big Rapids before, and Chelsey's dad's truck made short work of the dirt roads in between the two locations. My widdle Grand Am didn't like the dirt roads... and I didn't want to go any faster than I had to. As such, they got WAY ahead of us. I don't want to say that we were lost, but I didn't know where we were and neither did Chelsey. So I just kept going blindly forward like an American consumer (zing!)... and, we ended up eventually coming out near the 'new' high school--our eventual destination being Pizza Hut. Now I haven't been to Pizza Hut in years... but I have a whole lot of memories as a child eating there. Remember those star stickers you got for reading books in elementary school? And then you could get a free personal pan pizza? Yeah... stupid memories like that came flooding back... but there was my new girlfriend, making the entire experience quite surreal.
Now I know that one is not supposed to eat finger food when trying to make a good first impression (I know SOMETHING about manners, even if I don't have any)... but I thought that eating wings with Chelsey's dad would get me more brownie points than not. So we shared some spicy (not really) wings and then had pizza... and it was good. Chelsey and I discovered our favorite kind of pizza is the same (that's nice).
And soon our dinner was done, and Chelsey and I decided to drive around BR for a while before I dropped her back off in WC. Now I have given my tour of Big Rapids a few times before, but I don't think anyone has ever been as interested in everything I said and every place we went as was Chelsey. She even listened to my huge rant on the geographic placement of the tennis courts at the 'new' high school! How much could I honestly say in that rant? Well, we were there for a while... that's how much! And then, before I wanted to, it was time to drop her off. No lie detector tests were taken... no cats were harmed in this meeting of parents. Heehee. I don't necessarily think they trust me yet... but at the very least they don't DISlike me. So... that's good. And, hopefully, I'll get back up to speed on everything soon enough!