5,000 Visitors, Albion's Homecoming, Ken's worst nightmare, and Preparing for a Lifetime of Finishing 'Last'
Well well well, kiddies... it looks like over the weekend, while I was gone, my blog hit 5,000 visitors since mid-March of this year. At this rate, I might be able to hit 10,000 in a year. I find that number staggering! I find 5,000 staggering. I find myself staggering? Maybe I'm dizzy. Before I get too far into the funny, let me just say 'Thank you.'
Now, speaking of dizzy, the amount of happenings on which to update you are dizzying. Allow me to enlighten you on my roller-coaster weekend:
Friday -- I find it difficult to gauge how much time it actually takes for me to get to Albion from Chicago because of the time zone difference. I know that sounds stupid, but if I'm going to Albion from here I have to make sure to add an hour to my calculations (making me arrive 4 1/2 hours after I left). But, for some reason I always forget that... or something, and I never seem to give myself enough time to get there. Friday found me driving faster than I wanted to, worrying about making it to Albion in time to mentally prepare for the workshop. In my head, I'm running through how I would have to change my itinerary based on how many people showed up; I'm trying to figure out how long each exercise really takes based on, again, an imagined number of participants; and I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do with myself from Friday to Sunday afternoon. The drive to Albion didn't actually seem that long with my mind occupied and, as, once I got into Michigan, the view improved dramatically. Yes, I took for granted all those Falls in Michigan where the colors of the trees become so vibrant you would swear that the leaves were more alive rather than dying. Unfortunately for myself, I was too worried about what I was going to say/whether or not I was going to be on time/whether or not I could actually teach anyone anything that I didn't really appreciate the view like I should have.
I did, in fact, arrive in Albion in plenty of time. I got there about 4 PM, and proceeded to try to find a parking space. There were already a couple alumni functions, so a lot of the parking lots I feel comfortable in were already full. I found myself still looking to see if I knew anyone as I drove past Baldwin and the KC. I don't know if I'll ever get over thinking that I know everyone there. I'm sure I will, but it'll take another three years at least (ever = three years). Anyway, I remembered that campus safety doesn't care where you park on the weekends, so I parked in between Twin and the Mae. I then stalled for time for a bit, trying to figure out what I should bring with me and where I should go and if I should write down what I was going to say, or just improvise it. And, if I improvised my 'speeches', would it reflect on me poorly as an improviser if I ended up sounding like an idiot?
I arrived at Herrick Theatre and there wasn't a whole lot of activity going on. It's a Friday afternoon on a college campus, so everybody's pretty much done with the week at this point. I was happy to see a series of large frames being laid on the floor of the stage where I was hoping to have my little workshop. That was fun... I had to politely ask Miss Chelsey Wagemaker to get them moved so that I could continue to freak out about what I was going to say/do without having to worry about trying to find a space in which to hold the workshop. Thank God for Miss Chelsey Wagemaker. As 5 o'clock approached, only Katie Aumann and Miss Karen Green had showed up. Then @ 5, a freshman from Chicago!, Ashley, showed up... but still only three. After about half an hour of calling people, I finally had six (which I figured was the cut-off): Bohne, Chelsea Sadler, and San Jose. I started them off with the alphabet (I kid you not, it's a very revealing game), and then moved them through some exercises to show you what not to do in improv. From there, they did some completely improvised scenes with some side-coaching... which they all did really well. After that, I played a couple of games with them... and they had a little trouble with Jeopardy, but I think that might've been my fault. I was pretty tired by then, and I don't know if I successfully explained it. Regardless, I hope I actually inspired some kind of interest (which I doubt)... at the very least, I had a good time. I'd like to think that's all that matters, but that's not the case.
After the workshop, I headed to Bohne's for a bit. He was going to watch a movie I really wanted to see, but I didn't stay long because I was headed to the Coffehouse to see my son read some of his poetry. Hey... he asked me to, and I'm a good, supportive father. But, you could bet your butt I was going to leave as soon as Nick read, because I wanted to see that stupid movie. Ooo! This would be a good time to mention that I knew a secret, which is no longer a secret, so I can just go ahead and say it here. I learned that afternoon that Kerri (I hope I'm spelling it right, I'm sure you've all told me how to spell her name and I keep messing it up. I'm old) had flown in from NY where she's studying off campus to come back for Nick's birthday. When I got to the Coffeehouse, Nick was outside on the phone with Kerri. He said that she wasn't feeling well, and so I told him that I'd give him time alone to talk to her (knowing that she was somewhere on campus). When I entered the Coffeehouse, I was directed upstairs to where Kerri was... talking to Nick. If I had the surrealist technology, I would have traced a path through space without walls to show that the conversation was occurring literally within forty feet (BTW, in my mind I see some kind of Matrix camera work, combined with a view of the Coffeehouse without walls to show how close they were. It's a super-cool effect in my head). Anyway... Kerri was nervous and she told me that she had written him a poem based on his favorite poem. I told her that she's the awesomest person who has ever lived, and I defy you to prove me wrong, dear reader. I headed back downstairs in time to hear Karen read. Then the time came for the surprise. Nick looked like he couldn't believe his eyes... as if he honestly thought he was imagining Kerri being there because he wanted her to be there so badly. Wow... what a powerful moment. Her poem was incredible, by the way. And, speaking of incredible poetry, Nick's poems have gotten so much better since I left Albion. He read a few, and I think they are amazing. He read the poem which won the poetry slam in KZoo and I loved it! I was so so proud of him.
One of Nick's poems included a line or two about 'beating time,' and that seemed to be a recurring theme to the weekend. The Fall colors and the leaves reminded me of the parable of the apple blossom in The Last Samurai. Okay... I call it the parable of the apple blossom, I don't know what it's actually called. Regardless! Ken Watanabe's character is standing next to an apple blossom tree in full bloom, and he talks about the temporary nature of the blossom. The blossom only blooms temporarily and then dies... it's life journey is symbolic of all life. We all grow to a point, peak, and start the slow decent into death--hence the 'over the hill' thing we often joke about when someone reaches their 40s. Granted, everyone peaks at different times... and the slopes of the graphs of everyone's life (if you'll allow me such a thing) is different. If you can envision everyone's life as a graph--where things like attractiveness, utility, and intelligence/memory are the y-axis and age is the x-axis--then most living beings' graphs are a bell-curve. This is why people talk about the tragedies of people dying young (with so much left to offer), and about the disappointment and tragedy of someone just 'coming into their own' if they die unexpectedly in their 40s or 50s.
I don't find this a depressing idea. In fact, it puts me at ease in a way. I know that I'm still building to something, the peak of my being: I'm still getting smarter, I'm still learning new things, and my life is still heading in a positive way. I don't even worry about it becoming negative when I'm older, even if I know I've peaked.
How the hell did I get there? Nevermind that... I'll talk about it later when I can write with some kind of actual communicative sentences. Was that last one even one? I don't think so. Regardless... I'm rambling. What was I even talking about? Oh! Nick's poems. And I went off on that rant because Nick's words inspire thought. See how much better he's gotten? *nods* Way to bring it around, John. I'm awesome. Anyway, so I heard Nick's poetry and then I left. On my way out I gave Amy Feder a huge hug. She looked great, and I wish I could've stayed to hear her stuff... but I was already torn and had told myself that I was just going to stay long enough to hear Nick and to see Nick's surprise! Heehee... Kerri's awesome.
After the Open Mic, I went back to Bohne's and finally saw 'Saved.' I thought the movie was really great, and I was super impressed by Mandy Moore's performance. I know! I never thought I'd be giving Mandy Moore praise... but here it is. Speaking of, Macaulay Culkin was also quite good. And the atmosphere was also good... as the company was fantastic *super winks all around!*
But there's something about Albion, because every time I go back there I have trouble sleeping. Friday night was no different. It was one of those nights where, if I did sleep, I don't really remember sleeping... it just seemed like I was awake all night. And it wasn't the couch or noise or anything... my eyes were tired, but my brain wasn't. So I really didn't sleep.
Saturday-- In the morning, I headed to choir practice. This consisted of the alums and the Britain Singers singing the alma mater and one fairly simple song (which was still too difficult for me, seeing as though I've forgotten everything I once knew about reading music). So that was 'fun'... blah.
Saturday afternoon, half the apartment I was in was drooling over this girl named Stacy. I honestly didn't get it. I've seen much more attractive women before... especially on Albion's campus. I didn't find my social interaction with her intellectually stimulating, and she didn't strike me as funny. But, whatever! I guess the kids are falling for drunk girls in windows now-a-days.
After they stopped drooling long enough for us to figure out what was going on, we decided to head to the Homecoming football game to see the half-time festivities. Mike Kopec was up for Homecoming King and, since he's on the short list of men I might sleep with if we were both drunk enough and no one else would find out about it, I figured I'd go support him. Turns out... he won! Homecoming king! Way to go Kopec! Now I have absolutely no chance with his girlfriend in comparison. Ahh ha ha ha ha haaaa... *laughter dies off, and only uncomfortable silence remains*
After the game, I went back to Bohne's and hung out for a while... playing video games and such until the Red Sox/Cards game came on. Then, Saturday night, Nick and Andy had a combined birthday party. I really got a taste of what some people feel in social situations. You know when you enter a party... you do the visual sweep of the party to see where you want to go first/who you want to talk to? AND, if you're already there, you always make sure to look at who just entered to see if it's someone you want to talk to right away? Okay... this makes for fascinating interactions, I've found. Because, Saturday night, about 90% of the time I got the "I don't know him" look of indifference. Though this isn't a first, I've never noticed it SO much as I did Saturday night. It made me feel pretty awkward, and even stupid for being there. I sat in this party and heard all the people asking where Nick was, etc. and I remembered not-too-long-ago when I could make a party stop by entering. I think this is where my ego takes a backseat to fact... I could, honestly, stop a party to be acknowledged by those already present. Wow do I miss that. I never thought I would, considering how much I dislike parties... but I do miss it. I guess I'll just be happy to be able to pull people away from the party to have a quick "what have you been up to" conversation.
I spent a great deal of time talking to lots of ladies from my 'past'. Let's face it, the SECOND PLACE AWARD goes to me! In the unlikely event that the actual boyfriend should be unable to complete his term as boyfriend, I will be made the adjunct until a suitable replacement can be found! Seriously. I don't know how many fantastic women I talked to who, by golly, if they weren't dating someone they liked more, they would SOOO be dating me. I suppose this should make me feel good? I recently read an Ode to the Nice Guys... which basically described my situation (nice guys finish last). I knew that high school was going to be like this for me, because high school women want stupid, asshole guys. This is a scientifically proven fact, so I was ready for it. I guess I just never thought college was just going to be the same thing. The article talks about the "nice guy finishing last phenomenon" not lasting forever, but I'm not getting any f--king younger here people. Whatever... I'm totally used to it. So used to it, in fact, that I gave up trying to talk to people pretty early in the night and instead decided to be reclusive.
Later Saturday night found me and Bohne watching Saturday Night Live together. Yes, we did see the Ashley Simpson debacle. Hopefully that will be the end of her crappy crappy career.
After the party died down, I was actually able to go to 'couch' at a decent time: roughly 2:40. Half an hour into my sleep, Miss Chelsey Wagemaker called. She figured people would still be hanging out, but she instead woke me. We started talking, and I figured we might as well talk face-to-face, so I invited her up. We talked for about an hour before I became too tired to talk and we called it a night.
Sunday-- I woke up (from a pretty good sleep) to drive to Battle Creek to have breakfast with Sarah, Eli, Amber, and Randi. It was great to see them all again (Eli is Sarah's boyfriend... but it was nice to see him again anyway), particularly since it seems like they're all doing really well. Randi still wants me, and it's kind of sad how desperate she... is anyone buying this? No? I'll move on then.
Sunday afternoon was the Homecoming concert. Jennie and I got a chance to chat for a bit. I love talking to Jennie, she's great. Plus she gives me all the important info about Bohne that men don't think to ask each other or talk about, but seems to flow freely from women. Women are remarkable that way. But what wasn't remarkable was the concert. And I'm not talking about the performance of the choir or the symphony, I'm talking about my own participation in the concert. Dr. Rose keeps talking about wanting this to be an annual event, inviting alumni back to sing with the choir... but I honestly wouldn't do it again. We sung the alma mater third from the end (the alma mater is SUPPOSED to be last... or, at the earliest, second from the end). I'll admit, for as much as I hated that song in college (sorry whoever wrote it), the stupid thing gave me goosebumps to be singing it again. I'll go up and sing that song whenever I'm asked. Then we sang Randall Thompson's Alleluia. I didn't feel a thing because the alums were smashed onto the side of the choir, in one corner. I felt excluded... and, furthermore, like people were staring at us because we were excluded. It was a terrible experience and, like I said, something I'm not going to do again if I can help it.
I got back to Chicago Sunday night to both good news and bad news. The good news is that yet ANOTHER of the writers from the writing five show I acted in has written another show, and he asked me to be in it. I haven't written him back, but I'm most definitely interested. This would make four shows that I'm a part of within the next four or five months. How incredible! What a difference a year makes! I mean, a year ago, I was trying to express without words that I was making dinner upset and NOT cutting up onions (I was crying, get it?)... and now I'm being asked to be in shows. How awesome.
Now the not-awesome, bad news: I got a couple emails from Ken this weekend. He wanted to let me know that Airman First Class Jesse Samek was killed in a helicopter crash in combat. Was this the first time I had heard of Airman Samek? Yes. Does that mean anything? No, no it does not. Airman Samek was the first casualty from Nellis Air Force Base in North Las Vegas, NV. This means Ken must have known him for a while and, furthermore, it sounded like they were getting closer being from the same Air Force Base and being stationed overseas together. It sounds like he was hit pretty hard by this... and, perhaps, the realism of the danger he's in has finally hit him as well. If it hasn't hit him, it's certainly hit me. Ken even included a picture of him in the email... and, looking at it, all you can think is "by God, he looks like every young American man ever." Actually, it isn't much of a stretch to envision Ken in the picture instead of Jesse. I haven't emailed Ken back yet... because I don't know what to say. Everything I can think of just makes the situation awkward or potentially more painful... but I can't just ignore it or how it makes me feel. The thoughts keeping Ken going are thoughts that what he's doing is noble or necessary and that he's helping... and I don't know that that's necessarily the case. God... I can't think of anything worse than dying unnecessarily for a stupid reason in a meaningless war. That's where it lies... meaning. I don't know what this war means... but I have a terrible feeling that the answer is 'nothing.'
VOTE KERRY/EDWARDS '04