a "Keeper"
This is what my instructor called my script after I had it read this week. FINALLY... something goes right! Sheesh! I actually think that this is the first scene he's called a "keeper" all term... from anyone. And this was a scene I wasn't sure of... the characters weren't really saying anything to me, you know? I couldn't hear their voices... it all just felt forced. >shrugs< I don't know... I guess sometimes it's ok to force it (please don't apply this principle to certain oraphices).
Anyway... I wanted to give a huge thanks to Mr. Mike Bohne for helping me with a section of this scene. If you want to know what Mike helped with... ask him. If you don't want to talk to him, he bascially wrote the whole thing. (that's not true) (that is true) (No... it's not). This is a "moral dilemma" scene... see if you can spot the dilemma.
*Disclaimer: Please don't steal all or any of this. I'm poor... if you think this is funny, track me down. Have a nice day!

“Mayonnaise Jars”
February 9th, 2004 (Version 1)
CAST
JEFF – man in his mid 20s.
MANAGER – woman in her 30s.
CHELSEA – woman in her mid 20s.

(Lights up on restaurant. JEFF stands center stage behind counter with a register and a phone. MANAGER stands near door stage left.)

MANAGER
I know this is your first time counting the registers, but you’ll be fine, I have complete faith in you. I’ll be in the backroom… and you know how noisy that is, so you’ll have to come and get me if there’s a problem, okay?

JEFF
Yeah… I got it. I can handle this.

MANAGER
Okay Jeff, that’s what I like to hear. Now get started.
(Exits)

JEFF
Alright… my first night as assistant manager and I’m already counting the registers. She must really trust me.
(JEFF starts counting… the phone rings)

JEFF (CONT’D)
Hello, thank you for calling O’Malley’s, this is Jeff, how may I help you?

(Lights up on CHELSEA, who sits in spotlight stage right.)

CHELSEA
Hey, it’s me.

JEFF
Can you believe it, Chelsea? My first day, and the Manager already has me counting the registers! How are you, dear?

CHELSEA
Not too good, honey. I was just going through our finances and things are a lot tighter than we thought they were.

JEFF
Oh yeah? How tight?

CHELSEA
Well, unless you want to bring some work home with you, we might not be able to eat this week.

JEFF
Work home with me? What do you mean?

CHELSEA
You work in a restaurant now, Jeff.

JEFF
Oh yeah… right.

CHELSEA
Well, I’m glad that you got that assistant manager job. Let’s just hope nothing bad happens, and we’ll be able to make it until you get your first paycheck.

JEFF
I shouldn’t take personal calls at work, hun… I don’t want to get fired on my first day. We can talk about this when I get home. Love you, bye.
(Hangs up)

MANAGER
(Entering)
Hey Jeff, did the phone ring?

JEFF
Yeah… but I got it.

MANAGER
Good… because I can’t hear a thing back in the back room. Oh… that reminds me, the security cameras aren’t working… so don’t stand there and wave, like I normally do.
(Waves to camera… exits)

JEFF
The manager can’t hear or see me. Wow… she must really trust me! Well, time to get back to…
(Phone rings)

JEFF (CONT’D)
Hello, thank you for calling O’Malley’s, this is Jeff…

CHELSEA
Jeff, it’s me. There’s a problem with your brother.

JEFF
What’s wrong, hun?

CHELSEA
He just called. He owes some money to these guys in Vegas. They’ve broken both his arms, Jeff… they’re serious!

JEFF
Oh… God… that’s terrible! But he’s always getting himself into trouble like this. At least he can still walk.

CHELSEA
For today, at least. They’re going to break both his legs tomorrow if he doesn’t come up with $50,000. I just thought you should know. Go back to counting the money, dear. Bye.
(Hangs up)

JEFF
I wish I could help. But what can I do? Oh well, I should get back to counting all this money.
(Pause)
No… I can’t steal. Not on my first day. Besides, there’s no way these registers have that kind of money.

MANAGER
(Enters)
Hey Jeff… are you done with the registers yet?

JEFF
No, not yet. I’m sorry.

MANAGER
It’s okay… when you’re done, we always put the money from the registers downstairs in mayonnaise jars.

JEFF
Shouldn’t you put the money into a safe, or the bank, or something?

MANAGER
Oh… I don’t trust banks. Just make sure to date the jar and write the amount on the lid when you’re done.
(Exits)

JEFF
She’s going to have no idea how much money’s in the registers tonight. Forget the registers… there’s got to be thousands of dollars downstairs.
(Pause)
No… no, I can’t. There’s no way I could get enough cash out of here without it looking suspicious. I could tell her I really like mayo… No, it just… it just wouldn’t work.
(Phone rings)

JEFF (CONT’D)
Hello, thank you for calling O…

CHELSEA
Save it, Jeff. Something horrible happened to your grandma today.

JEFF
Nana?

CHELSEA
She was hit by a bus, Jeff…

JEFF
Oh my God… is she ok?

CHELSEA
Yes and no… she was taken to the hospital to have tests done, and they found that all that dead skin on her legs is really a flesh eating bacteria. She’s going to need multiple surgeries to get rid of the bacteria, in addition to all the care she needs from the bus accident.
(Pause)
It gets worse.

JEFF
How could it get worse than that?

CHELSEA
She had no health insurance. She just cancelled it.

JEFF
What?!! Why?!!

CHELSEA
Well… she was walking across the street from one insurance agency to the next when she was hit by the bus.

JEFF
I… We’ll talk about this… we’ll talk when I get home. Bye.
(Hangs up)
Poor Nana. All that care is going to be so expensive… how are we possibly going to cover the cost?

MANAGER
(Enters)
Hey Jeff… I know it’s just your first day as assistant manager, but if you could take home the weekly sales reports for the past few months and familiarize yourself with them, that would be great.

JEFF
(Still distant)
Um… sure… where are they?

MANAGER
They’re downstairs on dollar-sized green slips of paper in mayonnaise jars, right next to all the cash. You can’t miss them. They’re between the cash and the stacks of 24 karat gold, just beyond the piles of diamonds. You can even borrow the fork-lift, if you want to bring more of the files home. Anyway, I’m going to head out… just make sure to lock up when you’re done.
(Exits)

JEFF
(Pause)
Oh… what the hell?
(Grabs hardhat from under counter. Starts to exit. Blackout)