The Day I Took On Chicago...
Is every day, according to a very important person. But, in particular, it was yesterday. I tried to make yesterday a good day... and a good day hit me anyway. I didn't even have to try. Here's why...
1) I went to the bank Thursday morning. There was nothing out of the ordinary that occurred in the transaction... but, when the young woman handed me my receipt for the transaction, I thanked her (normal for me)... and I'm almost positive she winked at me. It was so quick that I'm not sure if she winked or not... but I'm about 80% sure she winked at me. And she was attractive enough to make me blush. I'm not sure why she winked at me... maybe because she noticed me checking out her chest? Um... whoops. I was looking at her like "that" because she had a wide face that made me think the rest of her was going to be bigger... but she actually had an athletic frame. So I was surprised to look from her face to... the rest of her (which is only the top half when you're talking to someone over the bank's counter). *Nods* Maybe she noticed... maybe not, but I'm pretty sure that she winked at me. And I know that I blushed.
2) When I got back to my apartment, I had two pieces of mail. The first was a mass mailing from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I only mention this because of an item contained within the mailing. They are now selling what they call an "Old Fashioned Frozen Granite Stone Ice Cream Mixing Set." Hey... I didn't name it. Anyway, if you look at it, you'll see it closely resembles something I used in my last job (and no, it's not a broom sans lubricant to fuck myself in the ass). Yeah... it looks just like a little Cold Stone... complete with the spades. If I was making any money at all, I'd be tempted to buy it for myself. I think it would be fun to be able to mix ice cream again... I think I'd probably still be pretty good at it. AND, the best part to me is the price. If people can buy their own cold stone for less than $20... why would they wait in line for an hour to buy ice cream from an over-priced, shitty franchise? They wouldn't. HA! Isn't that great?! That made me feel better. And, in another CS related story, Adam asked me if I wanted to work at Coldstone again... and I told him that I'd rather "castrate myself." And I would... so that made me feel good, too.
3) The other piece of mail was a card (well, more like a letter) from a friend. It was Godsend... perfect timing.
4) Then, tonight, I went to class. I talked with my instructor, Tim, about my apprehensions about being gone for the level 2 audition. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I'm worried that I'm going to get hosed by the system by not being there. He asked me if I had been going to other classes (like I haven't... but I'm going to). He basically told me that he'd stick up for me and that, as long as I do what I'm supposed to do (going to other classes) I shouldn't worry about it. I am, somehow, going to find a way to worry about it, though. That's just me. But, at least for the next few days... I'm going to take his advice and not give it a second thought.
5) And the rest of class tonight was good. We did three person scenes... with no suggestions. We just went up, looked at each other, and started something. My scene was with two other guys and it turned into a 'frat house' scene. When I sat down, after the scene, Karen said that it was a good scene. And I value her opinion because she teaches theatre, and we've talked about theatre before and she really knows her stuff. So that made me feel pretty good. Then, during a montage, I said a couple things during one scene that got HUGE laughs. And I was just being honest. Honesty is the best policy... even in improv.

Intelligence Crushed Under Heavy Wave Of Blind Patriotism... Again
Here's a story about some comments made by Maggie Gyllenhaal about the September 11th attacks. Gyllenhaal said 9/11 was "an occasion to be brave enough to ask some serious questions about America's role in the world. Because it is always useful as individuals or nations to ask how we may have knowingly or unknowingly contributed to this conflict;" and went on to say, "Not to have the courage to ask these questions of ourselves is to betray the victims of 9/11."
All of that seems pretty groovy and intelligent, right? I mean, she makes some interesting points, and, if we had an open enough mind, maybe we could all see the truth in her statements. But, unfortunately, any semblance of an America where people truly are free to say as they please has been stamped out under the elephant that has become Patriotism. Gyllenhaal received so many negative comments about her statements on her website that the site administrator had to disallow the ability to comment on her page. He said it had gotten out of hand. Negative comments are not the only thing that I feel has gotten out of hand... We, as a nation, aren't even taking the time to look at ourselves critically. It's one thing to be isolationistic for hundreds of years (which we were) it's another thing entirely to completely ignore not ONLY the rest of the world, but also ignore ourselves. If we want to ignore everyone else, that's fine... but to not even take the time to look in the mirror is an offense to ourselves and to everyone else we're ignoring. And it would be one thing to look at ourselves and be able to say with certainty that we didn't do anything wrong... or anything that prompted the attacks. BUT, to not even allow the intelligent discourse... to stick our fingers in our ears and pretend to not hear what the rest of the world is saying (although it's pretty easy since we refuse to learn other languages) is sickening. Let's at least pretend to care what other people think... or at least pretend to be interested in furthering intellectual conversations as a society. It's what the Greeks, who we stole most of our good ideas from (including democracy), would have wanted.

Follow-Up
A few days ago I told you of the Wisconsin woman's choice between jail time and giving up her Packers' season tickets. Well, she made her choice and decided to give up her tickets rather than face jail time... but before you yell at her for being completely incompetent, let me let you know some more of the facts of this case. The woman would not have to give up her tickets indefinitely, as I thought she would. She only had to give up her tickets for this year. That's number one... and number two is the fact that she doesn't have the full season ticket package. She's got tickets to two (count em... TWO) Packers games. So now the choice is 90 days in jail or giving up two Packers games... and the choice becomes pretty obvious the other way. In the end, her choice wasn't much more than between her having to pay a fairly normal priced fine or her going to prison for 3 months. I think most people would chose the fine, if they could afford it. And, having already procured the tickets, she could of course pay the fine. But if this is Favre's last season, she's going to wish she had gone to jail.

FREE Therapy
Well, the therapy isn't free... but it seems like it is. In my Intro to TV and Film class, I'm pitching a movie based on my summer trip West spent with Nick. There are portions of my life which I've condensed and squeezed into this movie pitch. And I have found that by pitching the story, I'm getting good feedback into the motives of the people in my life, and I'm finding out my own 'hidden' motives. I'm actually finding out quite a bit about myself, through retrospect and under a curious 'secret identity' of sorts. "Why is this important to the main character?", "Why doesn't he *blank* when faced with *blank*?"... it's all fantastically useful.
There is one member of the class, my friend Robert, who knows the truth behind my screenplay. As a matter of fact, after class Robert and I went up north to a bar that sells $1.50 PBRs (I KNOW!)... so a few beers later ("a few chicken Mcnuggets and lies later...") and we were both spilling the beans behind our respective personal lives. Robert's a really nice guy... and he had some good ideas behind how I could move my 'screenplay' forward. Oh... we all know what I'm talking about, don't we? Yeah... that's right: Free theropy.

I Called It
This is the last post I'm going to write while I should be writing my screenplay, but I just had to put my two cents on this while it's still fresh in my mind. Here is a story about how George Lucas attended his first Star Wars convention in 17 years to make an announcement: Spin-off Star Wars TV shows in the works. It is supposedly because of the popularity of the Cartoon Network Clone Wars cartoons (I'll tell you the real reasons in a second), that Lucus is planning to produce a 3-D animation/action cartoon series which expands from the Clone Wars mini-series (which I unfortunately wasted a great deal of time watching). Bigger news than that? Lucas says that a LIVE-ACTION Star Wars spin-off is in the works. That show would take place (get this) in the time between Episode III and Episode IV.
Did I call it or what? I told anyone willing to listen that Lucas WASTED precious time in the first movie, and that he's obviously been racing to catch up to HIS OWN STORY ever since. Too much happens to Anakin in the prequels for us to waste an entire movie on him as a child. And, honestly, did we ever really like the child Anakin?... who grows up to be the biggest bad-ass the universe has ever seen? Please. That would be like trying to follow the child Hitler, and trying to show us that he "wasn't such a bad guy" when he was younger. The first movie failed miserably... and killed off the greatest Star Wars universe character EVER (Darth Maul) like a bitch. *ANGER* So now there's just too damn much of his story to tell in just one more movie... so he's thinking about making a spin-off. Possibly the worst part of all of this is the ravenous consumption of his feces that will be perpetrated by yours truly. "New Star Wars stuff? Must have! Must have!" I am SUCH an idiot.
Although I didn't TOTALLY call it. I thought Lucus would release "Star Wars: Episode 3.5"... but he has, instead, opted to continue his story on the small screen. Interesting. I suppose there's more money to be made by having a TV series than by releasing another movie...? Or did he figure the true fans would castrate him if he tried to release a seventh movie? Your guess is as good as mine. But look for this guy *points to self* to waste more of your precious time on this story in the future.

Puss In Boots
I finally sat down and watched Shrek 2 today. I thought it was cute, though the first movie referenced fairy tales and this movie focused on referencing other movies, for some reason. The sequel had allusions to Alien, Spider-Man, and even the city of Hollywood itself. But, for me, the whole movie was made by Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots. Aww... so cute and cute and funny and cute. So, imagine my surprise and elation to see that not only has Banderas signed on for Shrek 3 (scheduled to be released in 2007), but that they are making a Puss In Boots movie (scheduled to be released in 2008). Did I, perhaps, like Puss in Boots because as a supporting character he had the freedom to do whatever he wanted? Maybe... and maybe his own movie won't be so good as a result. And maybe my affection for supporting cast members is indicative of my own almost constant casting as "supporting" rather than "lead." I don't know. You tell me... you're the doctor! >Angry yelling face< I'm just telling you that I finally got to see that movie and here you are yelling at me. That's gratitude for you.

CHEESEHEAD CRISIS
A woman from Appleton, Wisconsin, who has recently been convicted of a felony, has been given the choice of her punishment by the judge: 90 days in jail OR no jail time but she has to give up her Packers' season tickets. Here's the article (Also see here). True Packer fans know that this isn't even a difficult choice... we'll take jail time 9 times out of 10. You can ALWAYS get out of prison before you die... there's no certainty that you can get Packers' season tickets again in your lifetime.

NOT Football... I Promise
Well... if you made it all the way through my day one recap of the draft, congratulations! You have just won the "need something better to do" award. Or you're Jim ("Hi Jim!"). I will eventually finish by giving you a recap of day two... but that time is not now. Now I need to appease the "masses"... and the masses aren't as into football as I am.
This weekend was spent at home with the rents. On Friday night, I finally saw Sideways. I liked it, but was a little put off as it seemed to be the same kind of movie I'm writing for class. Yeah... eerily like the movie I'm writing... so I suppose it's good I saw it. The talk of wine is so intelligent it instantly pulls the viewer in... and then the use of wine and grapes as metaphors for Miles' character... *kisses air* magnificent. "It's uh, it's thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It's, you know, it's not a survivor like Cabernet... No, Pinot needs constant care and attention." That's one of those things that, when I'm watching, I can see the beauty of the writing. It's so apparent. It was a wonderful movie.
Saturday started with the draft and ended, pretty much, with the draft. My parents woke me up too late, so I missed the first five picks or so... but they then made up for it with a full day of food. When I woke up "How about some left-over pizza?" Okay. "I'm gonna make daddy and I make a sandwich, do you want one?" Sure. "How about some veggies and dip?" Why not? "I'm just going to leave the dip out... you want some chips?" Yeah! ... and then it was evening before the draft was done, and I realized that I had just spent the entire day eating (for the most part) junk and watching football. Day two was like this, too. It was a lot of food and a lot of laughs. And this should make a certain young lady who said that I'm "wasting away to nothing" happy. Something tells me that my mom has been thinking I've been wasting away to nothing, too... as she always sends me back to Chicago with tons of food. Literally tons of food... as I have to now take a trailer with me.
Another thing my mom sent me with was her mashed potato recipe. When I was younger, there was something magically about my mom's cooking. I think that's a fairly universal feeling... that at least something your mom or grandma makes is just absolutely magical. To me, my mom's mashed potatoes was that magical dish. And now, in my 24th year, there's nothing magic about my mom's cooking anymore. It's like... oh I don't know... it's one of those transitional things where you realize that your parents aren't going to live forever, and they're trying to pass on things to you. You know? So that hit me this weekend... mashed potatoes... one of the last vestiges of childhood magic. Am I making too much of this? Of course... but there it is. Deal with it.
Now to move on to something that has nothing to do with anything. I've just realized recently the root of one of my major problems. Ever since I graduated, I haven't had a sense of urgency. In college, I HAD a sense of urgency... I knew it was only going to be four years and I SQUEEZED the life out of Albion College. I was busy from when I woke up until when I pretended to go to bed EVERY day. And that is NOT the way I've been living here in Chicago. There has been no sense of urgency... no need for me to wake up and squeeze the life out of this city. For some reason (probably monetary) I've kept myself from a lot of this city. I hope to take some huge walks around the city before I leave for England... I haven't seen Chicago in the summer. Even though I lived here for over a year, I was too busy last summer to enjoy this city. But, if there's one thing I am no longer, it's busy.
I went to the Level 5 Shows tonight. Three of my castmates from SPP are in previews for their Conservatory Level 5 shows... so I decided to support them tonight. They were fun... the first show was tighter (more polished), but the second show had a lot of fun songs. And it made me really want to write a couple of songs... just to keep them around for when I eventually get to Level 5 myself. I would really like to write a Vaudeville song about politics... but we'll see how motivated I get *smiles*.
And, one last thing... I just wanted to let everyone know that I've preordered Alex's movie, The Work and The Glory. If you pre-order here, you can get a free copy of the book AND save 30% like I did *freeze frame, roll credits*. I'm so damn proud of Alex it's sickening. You're GD right I'm going to order his DVD... and I'm going to buy all three movies whenever they come out, too. Hell, I DID drive two hours out of my way to see it. He should be paying ME to get his DVD. Didn't buy that? Okay... well, I just wanted to let you know I ordered it... if any of you want to come to Chicago to see it when it arrives, make sure you're a hot chick and call before you get here.

NFL Draft Day 1
Well... day one of the NFL Draft has certainly contained some surprises. Surprises from beginning to end... particularly at the end. But let's start at the beginning, shall we?
San Francisco 49ers: Alex Smith went #1 overall to San Francisco. Yes, he certainly fills a need for them. Although he's got nothing in the way of ANY kind of offensive support. San Francisco went on to select David Baas C/G Michigan (a fine institution for letting Miss Sarah Jean in to their grad school), Adam Snyder G Oregon, and Frank Gore RB Miami (Fl) in subsequent rounds. This proves that at least someone is paying attention to the lack of offensive help for Alex Smith... and drafting a Center is almost as important an Offensive Line move to developing a young QB as drafting a Left (usually) Tackle. I think Baas was one of the best interior linemen available in the draft... and San Fran was lucky to have him around in the 2nd round. I am going to question the selection of Frank Gore--who has had durability problems throughout college--especially with Marion Barber III, Ryan Moats, and Cedric Houston still available. But Running Back is certainly a need for the Niners, and let's hope Gore stays healthy enough to fill it.
Miami Dolphins: Ronnie Brown RB, Auburn went #2 overall. While I know he fills a definite need for the team, I'm in the group of people who want to know why, if this guy is so good, he wasn't starting in college. Why did Williams start if Brown is so good? I have yet to hear from anyone a definite answer. I did hear Nick Saban say that he had to play against Brown at LSU, and that Brown is the reason why half his guys would be in the training room with injuries after the game. That sounds like he knows what he's getting. Saban also knows how to draft players that I wanted: Matt Roth DE Iowa, and Channing Crowder ILB Florida. I had my eyes on both of those guys for the Packers in the second round... but I'll get to that more later. The Dolphins had a pretty good draft so far... if they were the Packers.
Chicago Bears: I'd talk about Cleveland here but, honestly besides Jimmy Shy, who cares? I only mentioned Miami because they took two players I wanted for the Packers. And here we are with the Packers' rival: The Chicago Football Bears. While I'm a bit stumped at why the Bears needed a Running Back with Thomas Jones playing so well last year, Benson (RB Texas) is a pretty good one. Jimmy talked about the wear and tear on him after carrying the ball so many times, but I need only point to another four-year Running Back from Texas, a Mr. Ricky Williams, to say that carrying the ball a lot in college doesn't necessarily mean you won't be able to carry the ball a lot in the pros. The Bears also took Mark Bradley WR Oklahoma... to further prove the emphasis this year is on their offense. Even though the Bears are making strides, look for them to still be the worst team in the NFC North.
Tennessee Titans: In the first round, the Titans picked Adam "PacMan" Jones CB West Virginia. I only mention him because I think he wins the award for coolest nickname in this draft class. They call him PacMan, ironically, because he eats little glowing white pellets before the game. And, when he eats fruit, the other team flashes, and then he can eat them, too. It's like magic. I also mention the Titans because they selected two WRs in the third round...Courtney Roby, Indiana and Brandon Jones, Oklahoma. I'm not sure why the Titans felt the need to reload WRs when the rest of the team is so terrible. I can't imagine Tennessee being any good next season. But, then again, Steve McNair has made a career out of surprising this guy *points to self*.
Minnesota Vikings: My most hated team. I'm glad they picked Troy Williamson (WR NC State) rather than Mike Williams, because I think Williams is the better receiver. I think Williams would have been a great fit in Minnesota if everyone wouldn't have instantly compared him to Randy Moss. Maybe that's ultimately why they didn't pick Williams? He was too like Moss for their liking? But I think they're wrong, if that's the case. I like Mike Williams... and I think he got ROYALLY screwed when he tried to enter the draft and then they wouldn't even let him back into USC. I think that humbled the once cocky kid who thought he was better than Keyshawn Johnson when he was a freshman (he should have aimed higher than Keyshawn, BTW... he's MUCH better than Keyshawn is). Then, in yet another Viking move specifically designed to enrage me, the Vikings used another first round pick to select Erasmus James DE Wisconsin. I mean, come on! Picking a Badger?! Now I can't root for him in the pros. I have to hope he leaves or gets traded before I can root for him. That's just downright mean of them. I hate the Vikings. But, with a revamped defense look for them (not the Packers) to be the team to beat in the NFC North.
Washington Redskins: The Redskins were one of four teams with two first round picks, and they used their first to take Carlos Rogers CB Auburn. This was a need pick, and I honestly have no feelings towards Rogers what-so-ever (I do like Antrel Rolle CB Miami (Fl) who was taking one pick ahead of him by Arizona... but I didn't feel like talking about the Cardinals, so there you go [I agree with Jim about liking the new Cardinal uniforms, too]). The Redskins used their second first-round pick to take Jason Campbell QB Auburn. I do have feelings about this pick. I know Jim didn't like the pick, but I do. I think Patrick Ramsey is terrible and that they need someone else. Should they have taken Campbell here or waited, gotten a need pick, and then gotten a QB later? No. The Redskins had two first round picks and then didn't pick again until day 2... the only other thing they could have done with this pick is trade down, gotten two picks in the second-round; then used one for a need and the other for a QB. Let's face it, Brunell is almost retired (and he should) and Ramsey is terrible. Quarterback is a need for Washington. I will agree that they could have traded down, but they still need a quarterback. Ramsey sucks.
Detroit Lions: And so begins another year where the Lions pick well and the Packers don't. It started right away with Mike Williams at the #10 spot. I wish I could say I was surprised, but the luckiest man on the face of the planet (hitherto Dan the Bass Man... now World's Luckiest Man) and I were talking about the Lions' draft needs. He mentioned Mike Williams specifically... so, while my parents were surprised by the pick, I wasn't. Yes, yes, yes... now the Lions are unstoppable on offense... blah, blah, blah. But is there defense any good? What? They took Shaun Cody DT USC and Stanley Wilson CB Stanford? Oh... well, maybe the defense isn't so bad. I wouldn't be surprised to see Cody playing Defensive End next year (or at least trying it)... and as long as Wilson can stay off the coke, he should be fine too. Another good draft for the Lions so far... but let's hope they get someone in day 2 to sure up that tissue-paper offensive line. No one can throw the ball very well if the entire other team is on top of them within two seconds. Not even newly-acquired Jeff Garcia.
Dallas Cowboys: The Cowboys, another team with two first-round picks went defense, defense with Demarcus Ware DE Troy and Marcus Spears DE LSU. Look for the Cowboys defense to be different next year... with them no doubt trying a 3-4 look. But, also, look for the Cowboys... offense to still suck big monkey balls... even though Julius Jones is beginning to prove he's a stud.
Kansas City Chiefs: I will give KC one thing, they are going to try to get better on defense if it kills them. Taking Derrick Johnson OLB Texas was probably a good move for them, but he won't be able to help enough to make their defense any good. And then drafting Tennessee Punter Dustin Colquitt was almost the "wahh?!" of the draft. For a team that needs more defensive help than the Packers (and that's tough. A short list consisting of KC, Indy, and maybe Cleveland), to take a punter instead of getting more Defensive help is almost laughable. Look for them to do something equally stupid in day 2 like drafting a Wide Receiver.
Cincinnati Bengals: When Chris Mortenson said that Cincy might be the sleeper pick to knock off the Patriots, I had to think about it for a second. If nothing else, Marvin Lewis could draft players for the Packers and I'd be happy. They took two players I would have taken: David Pollack DE Georgia, and Odell Thurman ILB Georgia. I like Pollack... he plays with a lot of heart. I just worried that he would go to a team that wouldn't be able to get the most out of him. That will not be the case in Cincy. Marvin Lewis will squeeze every drop of his potential out... and the same with Thurman. I question their selection of WR Chris Henry from West Virginia only because I hear he has discipline problems and I can't imagine Chad Johnson being a good influence on him. Still, with the Bengals on the rise, the Steelers kickin' and takin', and the Ravens drafting right (moron that later), the AFC North might be one of the best in football next year.
Baltimore Ravens: I just told you that the Ravens draft right. In my opinion, their defense defies all odds in that it keeps getting better and better. True, WR Mark Clayton Oklahoma, is a need pick that will help the offense immediately... but to have a player like Dan Cody (DE Oklahoma) just fall into the Ravens' lap in the mid/late second round is just disgusting! We are talking first-round talent just dropping right into (what I think is) the most talented defense in the league. New England may have the best scheme, but Baltimore has the best players. If Clayton can help the offense to be just as good as average, it will be the Ravens, not the Bengals, knocking off the Patriots on the way to the Super Bowl.
Oakland Raiders: I have to admit, when the Raiders moved up in the first-round, my heart was in my throat. I had watched Aaron Rodgers, a player and person that I like VERY much, drop all the way through the first round. When he wasn't selected by New Orleans at 13, I figured the Packers had a chance at taking him with pick 24. Then the Raiders moved up and I thought it was over. The Raiders, who have Kerry Collins under center, obviously need a Quarterback. What put me at ease is that I hear Rodgers doesn't throw the deep ball well, and, well, that's pretty much all the Raiders are interested in doing. When the Raiders ended up using that pick to take Fabian Washington CB Nebraska (who I hear is the fastest player in the draft), I was thrilled. The Raiders did get their Quarterback in the third-round: Andrew Walter out of Arizona State... and took who I think was the biggest reach of the first day, Stanford Routt CB Houston. They also got Kirk Morrison, an ILB from San Diego State, who I had my eye on maybe the Packers drafting later in the day.
Green Bay Packers: Like I said above, I watched a player (and person) who I've liked for a while, Aaron Rodgers (QB Cal-Berkley) fall through the first-round of the draft. They kept talking to him and putting the camera on him, and I think Aaron did a very good job answering the questions even though he was obviously upset. That's okay though... I don't want an actor; I want someone who will let his teammates know how important the game is to him. I saw Aaron in a skills challenge they had for pro prospects a few weeks ago and he won all the QB competitions and received them from a SI Swimsuit model (whom he hit on every time he won). But he was charming... and obviously talented. For a player like this, who was (a week ago) projected to go #1 overall to fall all the way to #24, it should have been a no-brainer to select him. And the Packers pulled the no-brainer pick... selecting Aaron Rodgers with the twenty-fourth pick overall. I do NOT want to hear any SHIT about him being Brett Favre's successor. That's not the type of bullshit he needs to hear. I'm actually thinking about writing him a letter asking him to please not worry about being the next Brett Favre. I want him to be the best Aaron Rodgers he can be. The Aaron Rodgers that torched the USC defense (which is basically a pro defense, if you look at the talent). I don't need him to throw the ball down-field, we've got a West Coast Offense. I don't need his mechanics to be perfect, we've got Brett freakin' Favre. If there's one place in the league that passing mechanics don't matter, it's Green Bay. And I don't need him to be Brett Favre. To be put simply, I like Aaron Rodgers. A lot. And there was much cheering and celebrating in my house when the Packers picked him. And then... The rest of the draft happened to us. In typical Packer drafting fashion... we DID take the guy I've never heard of--Nick Collins CB/FS Bethune-Cookman--and then we took the guy we don't need--Terrence Murphy WR Texas A&M. With so many GLARING holes on defense, and players like DEs Dan Cody and Chris Canty, LBs Channing Crowder, Kirk Morrison and Lance Mitchell, AND CBs Justin Miller, Darrent Williams, and Bryant McFadden ALL STILL AVAILABLE when we picked Collins... I was frankly floored by the Packers pick. I am constantly surprised by the draft-day stupidity of my team. Even my mom got quite upset at the Collins pick. "Who's this guy? Why didn't they pick someone better?" Like THAT'S an easy question to answer. I was all prepared to praise our new GM, Ted Thompson, for having the balls to pick Rodgers with so many defensive and immediate needs... and then he messed it up by selecting these two clowns. I just hope that the Packers don't embarrass themselves in day 2. (Isn't that a great hope for the draft? That your team doesn't embarrass themselves with the stupidity of their draft picks?... I thought so.)

New England Patriots: Every single year, the Patriots fall under the "rich get richer" category... this year is no exception. New England apparently decided to address their offensive line and, apparently, got two great picks in the first and third-rounds with Logan Mankins G Fresno State, and Nick Kaczur G Toledo (respectively). I know NOTHING about offensive lineman, so I just go with the experts when it comes to the offensive line. And the experts are saying that they got two pretty good ones. So there you go. Stupid Patriots. They play the Packers in the preseason in Lambeau... a game in which I am attending. I promise you this: I will never root so HARD for my Packers to win a preseason game as I will for this game against the Patriots. My hatred for them is almost as much as my hatred for the Vikings (which is undying).
New York Football Jets: Last year I damn near fainted when the Packers traded up to take Punter B.J. Sander (what a great move THAT turned out to be [my sarcasm dial is set on "High"]). But, to be honest, the Jets lost in the playoffs because of kicking and damn near lost their first playoff game because of kicking... so Mike Nugent K The Ohio State University fills a pretty big need. Heehee... but still, they drafted a kicker in the second round. What a bunch of tools.
Philadelphia Eagles: Speaking of tools, the Eagles fall under the "rich get richer" category this year. With about a million day 2 picks, look for them to fill any need they have AND be able to make trades to get higher picks this year OR better picks next year. Their day 1 didn't impress me (although Ryan Moats RB Louisiana Tech will probably be a STEAL), but their day 2 could be good enough to piss me off.
Denver Broncos: Just when you thought you'd seen it all, the Broncos had the last pick of day 1. And they used it to take Maurice Clarett RB (formerly of The Ohio State University). I thought, previously, that the Broncos' "Cornerback selection button" was stuck... as they chose three CBs (Darrent Williams Ok State, Karl Paymah Wash State, and Domonique Foxworth Maryland [giving them the award for oddest named players in the draft... hands down. None of those are typos... I checked twice]) before the Clarett pick. For Clarett, Denver is a perfect place... as I could gain 1,000 yards behind that offensive line. Mike Shannahan goes through Running Backs like tissues... thinking them equally useful, and equally disposable. Ooo... but perhaps now the pressure is on Clarett, as everyone knows how easy it's supposed to be to gain a thousand yards in Denver. How bad does he want it? We'll see... an interesting pick to end the day, to be sure.

I think that's all I feel like writing about for now. I am eventually going to read all of what Jim wrote... but it's tough to concentrate with my dad snoring so damn loud next to me. I can barely hear myself think... and I can barely hear all those other voices in my head, too.

Also, I suppose I can post this because she said that she's talked to the "gang" already... but I got a call from Miss Sarah Jean today. She wanted to let me know that she's engaged! Congratulations are most definitely in order. Eli seems like a good man, and they seem very happy together. And, for some reason, she feels like the "first one"... even though I saw Chad get married, I was "in" Jean's wedding, and I'm in Bohne's wedding in the summer... it's different. I knew Sarah before she knew Eli. Chad and Bones were already dating their respective significant others when I met them. It was just another part of their personality. And Jean, dear God Jean... with Jean, the marriage just seemed to fit. Like, 'of course Jean would get married, she's always liked men.' I don't know why that makes sense to me... but Sarah I knew when she was in a "man-hating" phase, which was so phuking prevalent at Albion it was sickening. It was more trendy to hate men when I was at Albion then it is to wear those damn rubber wrist bands (of which I am currently wearing two). This whole thing just makes me feel like I'm TOTALLY getting older.

Grand Valley Students Inspired by Talk Show "Boss"
Don't think GVSU is a shit school? Well... when assignments about your Italian inspiration lead you to think "Tony Danza," you're not the brightest bulb in the marquee. Read this article.

Learn Three Things About Me! (and sometimes four)
I stole this from Rose. See if you can tell which answers I blatantly stole from her, and which ones are funny. I mean 'are mine.'
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
001. Video Games
002. Sports
003. Is masturbation a hobby or an addiction?... Okay... I'll choose writing then.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
001. A dog... named Pirate... with a dark patch over one eye, and an insatiable thirst for booty.
002. A certain young lady... a certain dark-colored, full-headed Irish alcohol... a certain comfortable, isolated location... and a view of the rain.
003. For the Packers to draft someone I've heard of tomorrow. (Chances: Slim to none. And Slim just moved to Remus [thank you Mr. Stewart])
(003b. A bed made of cheesecake)
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
001. Acting--I'd take movies over anything else.
002. Teaching--I don't know what I'd teach. Perhaps the most philosophical acting class ever created. Perhaps I'd teach about the dangers of 'sexual predators'
003. Writing--I would most probably write novels if I can't write/act in screenplays.
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
001. Ireland
002. L.A.
003. Italy... shut UP, Laura... you made it sound really cool :(
THREE KID'S NAMES:
001. Beergetter
002. Moneymaker
003. Brokencondom
THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
001. I love sports. And I'm not afraid to tackle someone... In fact, I would kick the living CRAP out of you *points* if I ever got the chance
002. Think of the worst, most vile, most disgusting sexual innuendo you've ever heard. Add any small animal and at least two different sized vegetables. I've suggested trying it to someone already.
003. My vast cognitive abilities go towards attaining two separate, but equally important goals: food and woman. I think of nothing else... making me the most stereotypical man to ever walk God's Earth.
(003b. What are feelings? I only understand anger, joy, and sorrow)
THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
001. I'm surprisingly sensitive. Does this *points to Earth's gravitational pull* make me look fat?
002. I could pick out your outfit. Think I'm kidding? Go shopping with me sometime.
003. Man trouble? Girl, do tell. I will listen, and I will tell you that man is no good for you!
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
001. Be in a movie... maybe just in the background... but something I can point to when I'm with my kids and say "Look! Daddy was in a movie!"
(001b. If I make it into a movie, I would then love to be in a video game. But that would only be a goal of mine if I've already done the movie thing)
(001c. I've always wanted to be an action figure, too.)
002. Get on my knees and kiss Irish soil. mmm... motherland.
003. Bang the Prom Queen.

One Last Thing Before The Weekend
First of all, huh... I thought Dan was a senior this year. Secondly, I agree with J Shy... I wouldn't be able to make this group of Euphonics either. However, the fact that I'm a man and can sing bass gives me an advantage... as those kinds of people are short in coming. But I don't think I would have had the confidence to even audition.
And, no Bones... you were the first person to have to audition to be in the group. So you'll be a Trivial Pursuit question, but you're not a founding member. Ah, phuk it... you can consider yourself a founding member. We really didn't have any performances before you got there. So you win!
Last night was another Conservatory Class... and it's becoming obvious that our class is gelling. Oh, I'm sorry... 'gellin.' We're having a good time as a class just being together. We're starting to realize who we are and where we fit together. I realized last night that I'm THE white guy... I'm like the whitest person ever... and I started to play that up a bit.
And this has nothing to do with anything, but when I woke up this morning my right ear was completely blocked. And I know that's not a big deal, but I freaked out. Living alone (like I do) and not really knowing how to take care of yourself (that's also me), little things like that can be scary because there's no one around to help if the problem becomes more serious. "What if it stays blocked?" I thought... "what if there's something lodged in my ear and it's eating its way into my brain?!" I ejaculated (heehee... Sir Arthur Conan Doyle uses that a lot. I giggle like a school girl every time).
And in lamer news (if that's possible) I'm headed home tonight to spend draft weekend with my folks. My father has promised me beer, snacks, and bonding... and I couldn't pass that up. Besides, this is the last weekend I can get my laundry done for free before my England trip (w00t!) in less than a month! So I'm going to wash everything I own and pack three weeks in advance. Don't think I'm that guy? the guy who'll pack weeks in advance? Are you sure you know me?

The Euphonics Not the Only Ones Up "After Dark"
Last night I went back to my alma mater, Albion, not to see a play (for once) but to see a concert. It was the concert of the group I helped to found while I was still in school: the Albion College Euphonics. It was the Euphonics' last concert of the school year and, thusly, the last concert for this year's senior class. I felt their pain, joy, and sorrow... I remember the end of my last concert, taking one last look off the stage, as I walked down and out the door of the KC's stack. I was just trying to soak it all in one last time. And, funny enough, I don't necessarily remember what I saw. I just remember that I did it. Isn't memory funny? (hint: ... what was the question?)
Regardless, I watched a different Euphonics group than the group I founded. Not only were they different in members (this senior class will be the last group that were in the Euphonics while I was there), but they just seemed different. The group has evolved. It seems that the music itself has come easier to the group--so much so that this version of the group has the time to choreograph cute little group moves during the songs. We didn't have group moves. In fact, we had all of those ideas stamped out by the former "powers that be." The focus of my old group was to look and sound professional... and, perhaps, this is why I was such a "cult classic." Okay... I wasn't a cult classic, but I like to pretend that I was. I did certain wacky things with the group that made me a "crowd favorite" back in the day. But, if I was in the group now, I would be just one of the group. I guess that's one of the things that's different about this group from my group: we focused on individuals, whereas the new group is a group. But they're similar groups in that my group had MCK and this group has MCW... both hot hot HOT. Aww... Emcee Dubs, so beautiful.
But, as I sat watching the show, I couldn't help feeling like a proud parent. These Euphonics were are widdle babies when I graduated... and now they're King $hit of Phuk mountain. I'm the most creative person in history. I'm sidetracked! Anyway, I couldn't help being proud of the choices that my group made in who we let into the group. We did quite well in our selections... and I think the new group has also made some pretty good choices. But they're not as cool as I am... harsh but true.
Then in a moment of pure, unadulterated stupidity, I decided to drive to Chicago after the concert. I guess it wasn't really all that stupid of me... as I got to share the road with trucks the whole time. It made me feel like I was going at super-speed! I know I'm lame, but it was super-late o'clock... and I needed something to keep me mentally alert. I did end up spending a great amount of time thinking about everything that had transpired that evening. It was an interesting day, to be sure, and I had lots to think about. "It's just me against the road..."

I just wrote an entire post... but when I tried to save it, Blogger lost it. So you'll excuse me if wait until later to retype it. Sorry kids.

Pseudonyms for Everyone!
I figured out a way to appease everyone who has ever lived: I'm just going to start using nicknames, pseudonyms, and abbreviations for everything. This could be as boring as using someone's first and middle name instead of first and last... or it could be as exciting as me inventing a nickname for you, such as SS Kenny Hoots, K Money, MCW, The Building, Ssstutter, The Married Chick, or Psycho Liberal Gossip (I think I've always been pretty good at inventing nicknames). I don't know why I didn't think of this before. Yes I do... because sometimes the nicknames I come up with, however clever, don't make sense unless I explain them. And if I explain them that defeats the whole purpose of the anonymity behind the nickname. Also, if I ever come up with a nickname you find offensive, then I was talking about you.
I started writing this post while at a Chipotle on State and Division this afternoon. I had decided to stop in for lunch after getting my hair cut. I hesitate to say Chipotle was a "treat" for getting a hair cut, but let's look at some facts, shall we? I have (for obvious reasons) started to dread going to get my haircut. There are, however, not-so-obvious reasons that I don't like getting a hair cut. The biggest reason being the forced-ness to the conversation that I just find nauseating. I hate all forced conversations... probably one of the reasons I fear dating. "So... we're here." *Look around* "Wanna shag?" I mean there's just nothing interesting to come from a casual don't-even-know-if-I-want-to-get-to-know-you kind of conversation. I avoid those kinds of conversations with a fevent fervor. Or a fervent fever. I avoid them. And the barber's shop is the penultimate in awkward conversations (the "birds and bees" being the ultimate). It's so awkward... because what do you talk about? Who is this stranger who I'm allowing to cut a part of my body? And I sit there and I listen to other people getting their hair cut and they're just talking about themselves... blah blah blah, boring boring. I don't want to be that guy. So what happens is I sit there in silence, unless the barber says something. You'd think that this would make me feel better... but I end up sitting there, wondering if I SHOULD say something and what should I say? *shakes head* Falls under the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" category... and I hate that category.
Anyway, so here I am at Chipotle, right? Someone in this city thinks having an open dining area/lobby is a good idea. As if inhaling the sweet vapor of sewage fumes is glamorous. "Oh look how quaint... a restaurant with an open store-front! It's like we're in Europe!" Except in Europe, there is considerably less truck exhaust... I'm guessing. I have no idea.
I love sitting in the windowed seats of a restaurant, though... to fuck with passers-by. "Look what I'm eating and you're not" I say with my eyes. "Oh! It's so good!" I say with my mouth. This made me feel good about myself until (who I have a pretty good guess was) a homeless man walked passed. I immediately stopped teasing people. Sometimes I like to pretend I have tact.
In my travels and errands today, I found myself walking passed One East Scott... which is the building in which I almost lived. I was rushed back to that one fateful day on 2003 when I came to Chicago with my parents and tried to find me an apartment. The woman who showed us apartments couldn't find East Scott... because Scott is circumvented by another street so that East and West Scott both dead end where they should come together. Also, she might have been kind of a newbie to the area. Although she certainly drove like a Chicagoan. Regardless, she would slow down near people walking dogs or pushing strollers and say "DO YOU KNOW EAST SCOTT? EAST SCOTT?" Yeah, I said "say" when I should have said "shouted." And she had a nasal, pinched voice... and I'll just never forget it.
Here's a story of a Bush supporter who's suing the Republican National Committee for stealing his idea for the bumper stickers you see everywhere. If nothing else, click on the link to see the picture of the guy's bumper sticker that he says they ripped off (the 43 stands for the forty-third president). I have no doubt that he SHOULD win the case... but I also don't doubt that he probably won't.

Cranberry, Vanilla Pudding, and Flan... what were YOU doing at 3 AM?
Last night, after a very late night phone call, I found myself making various Jell-o desserts. I'm not exactly sure why I do that... why I decide, all of a sudden, to cook something or make something. I think that if I had a better kitchen (I've never been satisfied with any kitchen I've had), I might find myself in the kitchen quiet often. I think cooking, to me, is like Holmes' violin or his pipe... I cook to clear my mind, but somehow find focus in it. I'd probably spend a lot of hours in the kitchen 'experimenting' if I had a kitchen the way I wanted it to be. I find it odd that I'll cook and do dishes, but would rather have blood drained from my body than do laundry. Stupid laundry! I think that might change too when, like Ken or someone else, I have my own washer and dryer and can leave laundry in for however long I want. Laundry without ones own washer and dryer is a huge pain in the buttocks. What the hell am I talking about? Oh, right... thanks to the crappy movie Envy (which I didn't see all of, but I didn't need to because I could have written it myself after the first five minutes), I now have made flan as well as some Jell-o. Anyone who wants some Jell-o or some flan, should get while the gettin's good!
Moving on... here's something I found as part of a list of quotes. I've had my own thoughts of re-inventing the English language to make more logical sense. It was more specific than Twain's general rules below... and it wasn't as funny. Enjoy.
"A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld."

The Weekend That Wasn't... ?
Well, the big and busy weekend I had planned out for myself didn't quite pan out as I had anticipated. This weekend was supposed to be one of improv games/workshops, an improv show, sketch shows, and a quick game of tennis. Needless to say, I didn't do much of that at all. What I did do, however, was somehow break myself out of the slump in which I had been trapped for the past two weeks. I'm not exactly sure how I did it either. I read, played a lot of GTA 3 Vice City, caught up on the phone with a few friends, emailed a few others (some I should have emailed a long time ago), and caught up with my folks in a marathon two and half hour long phone conversation. I haven't talked with them in about two weeks. Looking back through my emails, my dad had actually sent me about half a dozen emails within the past two weeks and I didn't reply to any of them. One of them (an email simply saying something along the lines of "I'm thinking about you. I'm proud of you. Hang in there") damn near made me cry... if I was capable of such a thing. And it came right at the end of my two week-long funk. On the phone, he said that "God had told me you needed to hear that!"... half-joking, but I know he wasn't joking. If you've ever heard me talk to you, then you know the kind of thing I'm talking about... even though that sentence made absolutely no sense. It was a good weekend... and there is much to be done in preparation for the England trip which is only a month away (less than a month!).
Now, as you all know, I've been having big mental problems trying to figure out how/what to post in my blog after all the recent trouble I've been in. At the behest of two very intelligent women, I have started to write more personal, intimate things someplace else. I guess one of the reasons I had so much trouble trying to figure out if I should post that all here (and ultimately one of the reasons I do the blog in the first place) is the permanence of it all. Since I started doing improvisation, my life has become a series of moments... and living my life has become one of living moment-to-moment. While some may applaud that kind of life-style, it is not one to which I am accustomed. I'm a planner, plain and simple. And living moment-to-moment while working at Coldstone proved too much for me to bear. I think one of the reasons I'm trying to write a movie is that I feel that it's far more permanent than improv or sketch. I'm looking to leave a legacy... something that will prove that I was here after I'm gone. I guess that's really what I'm looking for... just something to prove I was here.

Creative Classes, a Class-less Channel, and Channels of Creation... ?
This past Thursday night was my Improv class. We played a fun warm-up game where we had to toss (and sometimes run) specific imaginary objects around a circle to each other. Lest you think it wasn't physically demanding, I will admit to being sweaty and breathing heavy when we were finished. By the end, we had five imaginary objects going around the room at once. Not impressed? Well, five objects garner the attention of ten people at a time (one giving and one receiving); and in a class with thirteen people, there was little time to think, relax, or breathe. It was a really fun game, though and when we finished Tim said "Wow... that was really good. We didn't drop a single thing." hahaha... but then he said "We never had more than one of the same object. Which means we were focused and paying attention. That was perfect. For this fleeting moment, you're perfect." And then something inside the class... inside all of us... got SO EXCITED. I mean, our last instructor never would have called us perfect... even if we had done something really well, he still would have found something wrong with it. That's his job... that's his schtick... that's what he does. So this was the first time, as a class, when we could feel like we had done something really well (as pathetic as it is to be excited over a game). And I don't know if we were half-joking or not, but we worked ourselves into a frenzy and then "brought it in"... everyone's fists in the middle and we were yelling incoherent things until we somehow all decided to yell "fleeting!" and raise our fists up. It was... stupid, yes... but unbelievable. For the first time as a class, we were all excited for one another. It was... well, it was great.
I think that Tim likes me... and it's really helping my confidence. The Thursday previous to this one, he talked specifically to me for a while during class after one of the scenes. The exercise of that scene was to create a forgiving, supportive environment so that every character involved could feel the freedom to do whatever they wanted. Well, when my scene turned into a confrontation, I continued to try to do the exercise, and Tim's sidecoaching (which I didn't really allow to sink in) told me, basically, to drop the exercise. After the scene was over he told me that, even though it was good to still try to do the exercise, the scene had became about something different and I didn't change with it. It was good for me to learn... and he made sure that I got why it was important to go with the scene instead of the exercise (I wasn't really listening and supporting), but he did it in a way that didn't make me feel like I was being reprimanded. And then this week he gave my scene partners a little poop because they weren't supporting the "gifts" I was giving. That made me feel good too... like he's saying "Hey. John did well in this scene and, if you would have supported him better, it would have been a much better scene." That would be a 20+ Ego (if my life was an RPG).
Also, I'm noticing that Tim's giving us a lot of time during class to "prepare" for scenes and exercises. It makes me feel like we're getting closer and closer to the ultimate--"this is what the mainstage does." Can't wait *rubs hands together in an anticipatory fashion*.
You ever just watch the Weather Channel and get kind of pissed off when they try to tell you what to do? Right now you're going "what?"... but hear me out. Whenever I watch the Weather Channel, they always give you the weather forecast (obviously), but then they try to tell you what you can do because of the weather. Recently there's been some rain in the western United States which means it's a good day to "stay in and maybe get some of that spring cleaning done." Whenever they do Chicago's forecast for the weekend "It's a great day to go shopping on Michigan Avenue on the Magnificent Mile..." or "Head out and watch a White Sox game. They're 6 and 2 and on top of the division" (these are ACTUAL quotes). And sometimes they have video of people playing tennis or jogging or a woman pushing a child in a stroller... and it makes me sick. Does anyone honestly think that there are people watching the WC going "Ohh... I could play tennis today!" or "Hmm... better push my baby around today"? Hey... thanks for planning my day, Weather Channel! What would I do without you?
Similarly, the Weather Channel is another of those channels which is trying to piss me off by "expanding" its programming. Now there are "Storm Stories" and "Hero Stories" and "Boring shit that's on when you just want to know tomorrow's weather at 8 at night." Seriously... how many of you have gone to the Weather Channel to know the evening's weather or the next day's weather, only to find a stupid show about how a man saved a dog during a flood? MTV should play music videos, G4 TechTV should have shows about technology (and not anime), and the Weather Channel should give us the motherf--king forecast. Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Finally... way back in the day, Joe Janes told me and the rest of my writing class that a writer should read. And, furthermore, that they should read something that has absolutely nothing to do with what they're writing. More recently (at least to me, anyway), Stephan King's writing book makes the same claim: writers should read... and that material shouldn't have anything to do with what they're writing. While this is all well and good for some writers, I find it very had to do. Whatever I'm reading seems to heavily influence my writing... and I find myself trying to write a science fiction novel after reading one, or being interested in spoofing a Sherlock Holmes mystery after reading those stories. I think the reason is that I find myself reading along, thinking about what I would do better... how my story (at least to me) is more interesting. Or, sometimes it's something as simple as me wanting to pay homage to the genre. Why couldn't I write science fiction? Why couldn't I write a good mystery? Why don't I try them? Maybe, deep down, I'm suppose to be a scifi writer... maybe that's where my true talent lies. I don't know. But I do know that I find myself almost constantly discouraged, thinking I'm 'starting' too late. I should have been reading and imitating other writers YEARS ago... now is not the time to imitate! I should be writing my own stuff now... and I should be good by now. *shakes head* Is 24 too young to be worrying about starting too late? or is it too old to be so uncertain of myself?

Did I Wake Up on the Wrong Side of the Planet?
I awoke this morning to find a gigantic truck in my parking lot. It looked like a cherry-picker, but without the little basket thing... you know what I'm talking about. Regardless this truck (which looked like a fire engine... being bright red) was getting some "work" done on it's extendo-arm (remember when we called things "extendo"? What ever happened to that?!). This work, apparently, consisted of banging the metal end disc of the arm with a hammer as loudly as is possible. The worker was doing a very good job. The truck got banged (pardon my pun), drove around in a circle around the parking lot (no small feat, as it's arm was extended to four stories high. How do I know four stories? Because I live on the fourth floor and could have jumped out my window onto it), and then ended up right back were it started. Wah WAH?! Yeah... I don't know. It then picked up a basket with its arm and, while I turned away for a minute, left mysteriously. I had imagined that someone in the building across the parking lot had become horrendously obese and needed to be craned out of their building. Wouldn't that have been something? Also, at one point a furniture van drove into the parking lot too... and I imagined someone getting such a large piece of furniture that it had to be craned into the building from the outside. Ooo... that would have been good too. But, alas, nothing spectacular happened in my back parking lot this morning.
But a duo of 20-something 'stars' are both facing multiple drunk driving counts. Nick Carter and Chris Klein (of American Pie fame) both face two counts of drunk driving in California. The cases have nothing more in common than that. No one really cares about Klein's arrest, I just thought it ironic that he's facing the same charges as Nick Carter. Get this... Carter's defense to the public (by way of his publicist) is that he was taking "doctor-prescribed medication" that interacted negatively with the breathalizer. Or something to that effect. It sounds like he needs to hire a better liar. I mean publicist (I hate those people).
*Looks around* What else? Hmm? Oh yes... I would be remiss if I didn't take the time to agree with Laura's comment about Clive Owen. At points in Sin City his accent was American and at points... not so much. Also, good on ya for thinking Bruce Willis was hot as a late 60s ex-cop with a heart problem. To me, nothing says "hotness" like a faulty 'ticker.' I didn't know Laura had a grandfather fetish.
Speaking of Bruce Willis, have you seen they've announced the making of another Die Hard movie, Die Hard 4.0? I absolutely loved the first movie... laughed at and through the second movie... and loved the third movie. If this one follows the pattern, I look forward to a terrible, trite, over-produced movie. Even the current plot outline sentence--"McClane and his daughter get involved in a terrorist plot while on a holiday"--seems recycled. Oh no! He added a daughter... that's totally new!
But, speaking of totally new things, here are two stories the likes of which I don't think I've ever come across. First, a woman in the St. Louis area is suing a Lowe's Home Center because she was attacked by a bird while in their OUTSIDE garden area. The bird apparently flew into the back of her neck... and while I understand that any trauma to that part of a person's body can have serious effects (she's claiming injuries to her head, brain, neck, muscles, bones, nerves, discs, ligaments, as well leading to the loss of neurological functions and cognitive skills... which falls under the category "far fetched"), it is absolutely ludicrous that she's filing this lawsuit. I hope that she not only loses, but loses a counter-suit filed by Lowe's for "dumbassness" or "intent to make me vomit." What a horrible precedence this would set if she wins. People would sue for weather conditions or other uncontrollable events. Hell, I should sue if the Packers schedule a game on a cloudy day because I wanted to see a game in the sun and boo hoo hoo...
Finally, a boy has been suspended from a San Bernadino high school for wearing make-up, which he claims is integral to his religious beliefs. The make-up? Black lipstick and red eye make-up (think "The Crow" or, better yet, think two comets heading for his nose and convening at his eyes). The religion? Wiccan. While I applaud him sticking up for himself against "the system"... some people just need to be saved from themselves. If Wiccan is a religion, so is baseball... The point here shouldn't be the religion. That just further clouds this issue. If a dude wants to wear makeup to school, and girls are allowed to wear makeup to school, then there shouldn't be a problem. That's really as far as he needs to go with this. The caption to the picture says he wears the makeup because it makes him feel better about himself... that's ALL he NEEDS to SAY (in my book). Think about transvestites... wouldn't a male transvestite be able to wear makeup to school if he so desired? Isn't that fair? By bringing "religion" into this, he's only going to get a negative response from the conservative Christians (I, apparently, am one of them [weird!]) who are like "Ooo... Wiccan. What a fuckin' weirdo. Probably sacrifices chickens by biting the head off and watching it run around the room." Or whatever they do. My point being that he didn't need to (and shouldn't) bring religion into a rights issue that could clearly be secular. And he's in the right (not that he's conservative... he's CORRECT)... he's just not going about it well politically. *Nods* Because I know all about politics.

Am I Done Being Depressed Yet?
Tuesday night was my TV and Film Class. We each had to pitch three screenplay ideas in front of the class. I am certainly a lot less nervous pitching for shows I don't care about (like Raymond or Desperate Housewives) than I was with pitching my own precious babies. But my pitches went well, I thought. I actually got a pretty good response to the pitch that I gave based on the story I want to write per Mr. Southard's request... so I'm pleased that I have a good idea AND eventually an avenue through which to film it. The pitch that the group decided I should work on, however, is based on my trip out West with Nick the summer after my graduation. I'm excited to work on this project, actually... seeing as how Nick turned some of his writing from that summer into a stage show at Albion. Now I'll finally get to actualize my writing's potential in screenplay form. And then all the money we spent on that trip will finally be worth it. Sort of.

In an effort to do what I was trying to talk about earlier this week, a kind of "going backwards to go forwards" kind of thing... I've spent a lot of time recently playing GTA3. Why? you ask. Well, the summer between my junior and senior years at Albion I did three things (Laura can attest to this): 1) Went to class; 2) Spent time with Laura; 3) Played GTA3 on my PC. That's pretty much all I did. And Tuesday morning, when it was raining outside, it reminded me of that summer. I guess it rained a lot in Albion that summer... because I always think of rain when I think of it. That summer ranks in my top summers of all time... I absolutely loved that summer. And, I guess, the game reminds me of being back in Albion... eating entire meals consisting of mashed potatoes and corn... spending time in Fiske with Laura watching "bad" musicals (or whatever she wanted to watch)... and just enjoying the hell of of where I was and what I was doing. It's been a long time since I could say that about myself for any extended period of time. Maybe I need to head back there to move forward... ?

Wednesday afternoon I went downtown to run some errands. One of them was to go to Borders Bookstore to pick up one of those damned rubber wristband things that I see everyone wearing now-a-days. The reason I wanted one from Borders is two-fold: 1) It says on it "Reading is Magic"... which I thinks is true; and 2) The more important reason is who Borders has teamed up with for this 'promotion.' $1.60 of the $2 goes towards CARE, which is an organization which fights global poverty. When I found out who Borders was partnered with, I made it a point to head to the nearest one and get one of those wristbands.
Another one of my 'errands' was to go see Sin City. Before I get into the movie itself, let me touch on something briefly. A friend of mine loves going to see movies by herself. Maybe loves is too strong a word but, regardless, she enjoys seeing a movie by herself. I, on the other hand, do not. I'm sick of doing everything by myself in this God forsaken city... I'm sick of walking everywhere by myself, I'm sick of eating by myself, I'm sick of seeing shows and movies by myself. So the fact that I was willing to go see this movie by myself this afternoon should show you that I'm either a) desperate or b) really wanted to see the movie.
And so I did. And I loved it. Brittany Murphy was horrible (per usual), with an accent that drifted in and out... and I'm not exactly sure what she was trying to do with her character, but I do know that she was trying to play someone who was normal and that's totally impossible for her. I think she's an honest to God psychopath (which is probably why she was so believable in 8 Mile). She is, as one might put it, "not believable as a human being." Jessica Alba was also pretty bad, but I will give her the benefit of the fact that her younger self was obviously a young Caucasian girl who grows up to be... uh...? Jessica Alba? I mean, I don't know what Jessica's ethnicity is... but she's not Caucasian. She's something more exotic and attractive than some plain ol' white chick. Well, whatever. Mickey Rourke was AWESOME as Marv... and his story-line was easily my favorite. And a surprise "cameo" by Elijah Wood just further proves that, for someone who's exactly a month younger than I am, he has done far more with his life than I ever will. And he's much more talented than I am, too.
I have also apparently been busy elsewhere in the country. It seems a Ms. Britney Spears is preggers. This story, which she posted on her website (but I got from Yahoo!), has lead to thousands of pre-pubescent girls asking "where babies come from." Thank you, Ms. Spears, for further corrupting our youth.
And now for the most asinine story of the day, a group of Canadians (it figures) are planning on suing the NHL for the right to play for Lord Stanley's Cup. Apparently, Lord Stanley envisioned hockey actually being played every year. Go figure... what a zany guy! Well, the NHL and the NHLPA certainly showed him a thing or three this "season" didn't they? *sigh* Stupid hockey forcing me to watch and like baseball. I'm done.

A Continuation of Yesterday (read: About Twelve Hours Ago)
I haven't really felt like doing improv in a while. Even though I went to Keith's, had a good time, and did some pretty good improv... I haven't felt like it. I'm constantly in a flux between wanting to be the best at improv and being sick of the fleeting and temporal nature of it all. What's the point of doing something if it's not permanent? If it leaves no impression behind, when all is said and done? Where is the legacy of a man whose whole life is constantly living from moment to moment. No... even though I am good at improv (good might be stretching the truth just a little), my life won't be complete and I won't be satisfied until I do something a little more permanent.
As such, I woke up yesterday morning with an inspiration. After just finishing "The War of The Worlds" I must have had science fiction on my brain... because I was awoken by thoughts of a science fiction story that I knew I had to start writing down. I'm not exactly sure why science fiction... as even I kind of look down on the genre; but I think that it's honestly the only place to really explore questions of "what ifs"... alternate realities, alternate universes, the future, etc.
Later in the day, while running errands actually, I had to stop in a Starbucks because the weight of all the good ideas for the story fluctuating in my head needed to be alleviated. I bought an iced tea, sat in one of the large comfy chairs, and wrote down ideas, fragments of ideas, minor character exchanges... all the loot that was in my head. Nothing, however, resembling actual writing (which only discourages me when I think about how nothing was actually accomplished).
And in the "good news" category, I received an emailed list of all the people who are going on the England trip with me. Well, now I know who is going to be hit on for 10 days.

As if Wal-Mart didn't piss us off enough as it is, here's an article about Wal-Mart in Vermont. Apparently Vermont's legislature passed some, uh, legislation allowing for a state fund that is designed to give money to victims of crimes. The money comes from traffic and criminal fines and goes straight into this fund--all in an effort to help crime victims get back on their feet more quickly, I'm sure (a very good idea as far as I'm concerned). Well well well... it seems poor defenseless Wal-Mart has made claims about crimes committed to it, in an effort to get a piece of that money; and about 20% of that money was going to businesses like Wal-Mart and Rite Aid. In Vermont's defense, there was little they could do about Wal-Mart taking a piece of the money with the law as written (and last week the Vermont Senate passed a clarifying bill)... but shame on big businesses for taking advantage of bills and legislation put in place to help real, honest-to-God victims of crimes! Boo Wal-Mart!
And here's something else that's funny. It seems, with the impending wildfire season approaching, some states out West are going to soon need those annual home-town heroes the National Guard. Yes yes... every year the wildfires come and the National Guard is there to save the day. Wait... where is the Nation Guard this year? Iraq?! But... who will save us from the Wildfires? We don't have enough fire fighters. What shall we do?
I have an idea! How about writing your local congressperson or representative and yelling at them to get our fucking people back in the states?! There's an idea. Seriously fuck Iraq... they can fix their own damn problems. And if we pull out of Iraq and the UN doesn't sweep in to help... then fuck the UN, too. Their job is to help with bullshit like this, and also, if I'm not mistaken, to stop countries from unjustly invading other countries. Shame on them for allowing us to do what we did in Afghanistan and Iraq without any repercussions. I'm not sure how I got here from being worried that the Western half of the country is going to catch on fire. But there you go. This is what happens when I get in these "moods." I lash out in all manner of direction, with neither rhyme nor reason. I've got errands to run, I'm out.

Stagnation Station
For at least the past week I've been pounded by the hammer of apathy. I don't feel like doing anything--I'm stagnant, bored, my time and energy wasted--and nothing is getting accomplished. I had a list, a whole LIST of things to do Monday... and I barely did anything. I'm so preoccupied by my own unhappiness... by my own mental and physical paralysis... that it causes further displeasure, further immobility, and so on. It's the vicious cycle I find myself in almost quarterly. Hell, you could damn near set your calendars to it. Not that anyone sets a calendar... but you get my point.
I think what only adds to this "mood" or "state" is that I've been having ethical and mental second-thoughts about my blog. For damn near two years I've posted whatever I felt like typing on this blog, and recently it's given me a lot of trouble: most famously from the Trips (I'm not using their full name lest they 'google' it again), and more personally from the mother of a friend of mine who found it because I used my friend's name repeatedly (which was then 'googled'). I am now at a cross-roads and have two options, as far as I'm concerned: 1) Not care what other people think and continue to be 'hard-hitting,' honest, and free; 2) Use abbreviations and nicknames, making communication with people more difficult, but allowing me more freedom to say what and how I feel. I hate abbreviations... and I feel this blog would become less appealing if it were 'encrypted,' but I feel my back is up against a metaphoric wall. I don't know if I have a choice... and I HATE not having a choice.
So here I find myself... unable to move forward, but horribly unhappy with where I am. I guess the only choice I have is to back track and hope I can find another way forward from there. But now I've become so wrapped and tangled in my metaphoric blanket that I fear I may have been interwoven. And I just did it again. My point is that I don't know how to go backwards... where would that be? I guess the only thing I can do is my assignment for my writing class Tuesday night, more errands in an effort to finish off my list, and continue to take things one day at a time.
It's so f--king hot in my apartment at night! Ugh!!! I'm just full of complaints! I must be wearing the complainer pants!

I Got Nothing
Don't think the Cookie Monster thing I was bitching about before is a big deal? Well, here is the British take on the situation... Mr. and Mrs. Smarty-Pants. They're talking about this issue "across the pond"... poor Cookie Monster with no more 'biscuits.'
And I know you want to be in Madison because of this article. The oldest piece of Earth known to man. It must have spent hundreds of millions of years hidden from the elements... OR it must have been a HUGE piece of rock to begin with. Interesting to me... and maybe not you.

Am I A Bad Person?
Yesterday I spent much of the day out in Oswego at Keith's. When I came back, very late at night, there was a car parked in my parking spot. I think you all know how I feel about my car... and for someone to slip into my car's home when we were gone? I was quite upset, indeed. And, least you think I'm being dramatic by calling my parking space a "home"... think of this: 1) I am renting that spot, much like I'm renting my own apartment; and 2) I pay $160 a month for that spot. I, without job, am making sure that I have $160 to pay for my car's little home month to month. So, for this person to park in my spot, they should at least be giving me money to rent it for the night. I felt as the three bears must have felt when Goldielocks ate their porridge, slept in their beds, and pretended she was the victim. I went up to the car parked in my space to investigate (I don't know what I expected to find... but it's a very natural human reaction to go investigate, isn't it?). But I did find something on the windshield. It was a note, most likely left by the owner. It had a name and home address of a woman on it, and it said something cryptic but forceful like "Do Not Move This Car." Well, for $160 a month, this note can kiss my mother f--king ass. I took the note off the car and went into my building. "Maybe," I thought, "the doorman allowed this person to park in the lot but there was a mix-up in the parking spot assigned." I parked next to the back door of my building, went in, and showed the note to my doorman. He didn't know who the woman was. He went out back with me, gave me another spot to park in overnight, and told me that he was going to put a "tow sticker" on the mystery car. Problem solved. When I woke up this morning, the car was gone... it had been towed overnight.
I think, perhaps, the worst part about this whole thing was my silent delight in the knowledge that this woman's car was going to be towed. Yes... I said delight. Something deep down inside was very happy that this woman, who had tried to take MY space without asking (as if I didn't matter... as if my personal space meant nothing), is going to have to pay the ridiculous towing fee to get her car back. FINALLY someone in this city is going to have to take responsibility for something they did wrong. Does it make me a bad person for this whole thing to make me happy?

Scooby Doo 2: Ridiculously Delightful
"Like, they're totally having a montage in there without us." I've always thought Matthew Lillard is a highly talented and completely underrated actor. His Shaggy is shockingly true to Casey Kasem's voice... and he's both hysterical and hysterical. Wait... that's one thing. Regardless, he's completely underrated as an actor (LOVED SLC Punk), and he's from Lansing, MI. How cool is that? (Hint: Very) [Casey Kasem was born in Detroit... just so everyone knows]
And Peter Boyle is hilarious in an awesome cameo role.
The end is a bit convoluted (the ghost is *blank* who is really *blank* and that really means *blank*)... but it's all in the spirit of good fun--like the cartoon. And I don't think anyone watched this movie to "figure out" the "mystery." If you did, I apologize... because you missed the best part of this mindless, fun movie.

Better Things Have Happened To My Ego
Tonight was the closing night of SPP. I have, for the most part, been quite pleased with this show. I mean, I've gotten great support from unexpected sources... Kenny saw it. Andy saw it. Jim saw it. And my parents saw it. We sold out three of the five weeks... having good crowds the other two weeks. I'm generally happy with the way this particular show turned out.
After the show, the writers received their certificates of completion/graduation from the writing program at the training center. It's nice to be able to be a part of that... to feel like I had something to do with that. And, after that, I headed with most of the cast and a couple of the writers to Ben's place. Ben is one of the writers of the show and he invited everyone over to his place for a cast party. The interesting part of the cast party was that it wasn't a cast party... it was a party that the cast just happened to be invited to. So after about half an hour of eating free food and drinking free beer, I decided that I felt a little too guilty about it and needed to go get some "actual" food. Actually a group of us decided to go to one of the bars by Second City to get some food and hang out.
Here's where the story gets interesting and my nuts get kicked in. Not literally kicked in... but I don't know how else to describe what happened. Do you think it's a bad thing when a girl you have a crush on introduces you to her friends as "This is John. He has a huge crush on me."... pause... "Well," I thought, "I did until about three seconds ago, when you tactlessly stepped on my feelings." I assume that you expect me to say that I spent the next few hours drinking... but that's the opposite of what happened. I got so very sober when she said that... I stopped drinking and just wanted to leave. I didn't actually leave for a while, but I wanted to just crawl up into a little ball and roll my stupid ass back to my apartment.
There's really no point to this post... I just wanted everyone to know that their night was better than mine. And it was going so well... I covered during one scene when the "tick" broke off my face and flopped onto the stage. I covered so well... and even got a laugh. And then... stupid f--king women.

The Day Sesame Street Tried to Destroy My Sense Of Reality
Here's an article about what Sesame Street is doing to Cookie Monster. Knowing that there was a monster who "ate cookies" didn't make me want to eat cookies any more than I already did as a child. So, to me, having Cookie Monster change his character just so little kids know not to eat cookies at every meal is ridiculous! *Cliched battlecry* "Where are the parents?!" No, seriously... where are the parents? Aren't they the ones that are buying the food. It's not like the kids really have a lot of say into what groceries are purchased, do they? Have I been missing something? Have children now been given the chore of grocery purchase and I'm just horribly unawares of the global shift in grocery power? If that is indeed the case, I apologize for my unwarranted Ranting. But my guess is that parents still do most of the shopping and could just NOT buy cookies if this is really a problem. I can understand Sesame Street not wanting to "promote" negative characteristics, but are we going to make him "Oscar the Nice Guy" now? Please. Let's stop being ridiculous and find the heart of this issue: childhood obesity. And that stems from what? My personal belief is that childhood obesity comes from two different sources: one, not having a parent home because of this society's emphasis on money... and our dollar's disgusting inflation leading to both parents HAVING to work to mantain our horrific materialistic lifestyle; and two, the lack of funding to afterschool programs that do things like "exercise" and "build teamwork skills." But if someone thinks my personal favorite childhood character, Cookie Monster, is the root of all childhood evil then let's stomp it out at the source. That bastard.
On Tuesday night I had my writing class. Our assignment had been to write a Desperate Housewives pitch... and so I had. Only five members of the class showed up, my guess being that the assignment had been a "turn off" for everyone else (no offense to watchers of the show). In a move of sheer brilliance, Scruggs made me go first. I hate going first... I prefer, always, to go second. I want to see how things are going to play out before I go... but I also want to get it over with so that I can relax for the rest of the time. This has been my way since high school speech class (at the very least). Regardless, I went first. I gave my pitch and I think she was actually impressed. I set the tone for a good evening of pitches... everyone's pitch seemed pretty good. There were a few things about my pitch that weren't the best writing ever, but I'm still learning and I think everything was believable enough. The class was light-hearted and fun... and we learned a couple of things about writing for TV that we wouldn't have if we had pitched for a show we liked (sorry to the watchers of the show): 1) You can't always choose what show you write for... so it shouldn't matter whether you like the show or not; and 2) If you come across a show you don't like, deconstruct it... what is it about the show you don't like? How would you do it better? Valuable lessons, indeed.
Thursday night I had my Conservatory class. A really funny scene about a white guy who moves in next to a black woman and is confused because he thought the whole neighborhood was "white" spurned an intelligent, honest race discussion. I was floored at some of the racist comments my classmates have to deal with on a regular basis. Up North? In Chicago? Surely we're more progressive than that... aren't we? Apparently not. I couldn't believe what they were saying... how they were regularly treated... and the perpetuation of the class system that is alive and very well in this "Great American City" of Chicago. I didn't have much to say... I was just sitting and soaking it all in... but man oh man, I felt so bad for the blatant stereotypes my classmates, my friends, have to put up with on a regular basis. Who's teaching this shit to people? Where is it coming from? How can crap like this be perpetuated? I got so angry for them... and felt so guilty for being the "majority"... once again, I'm the bad guy. I didn't ask to be born white or male... don't look at me like it's my fault. They didn't do any of that... but I projected my own fears that maybe someone would. I was a little upset when other people chimed in and were saying "I know how you feel because people treat me, as a *fill in blank*, the same way." I think everyone likes to be the victim from time to time. I think this is when my Conservative girlfriend would chime in about affirmative action being a dumb idea and I'd have to punch her in the foot. That I should be looking for a Conservative woman makes no sense to me. Stupid quiz thing!
Hey! Conservatives... right, so, speaking of people I almost hate as much as the British, I'm reading "The War Of The Worlds." Huh? Where did that come from? I don't know... but I have historically disliked the British. One of the reasons I can't wait to head to England. No, not to hate people, but to destroy whatever mental thing I've got about the British... so I can go ahead and like the people I like, hate the people I hate, and be indifferent to the people I don't know. Regardless, The War of The Worlds is one of the most ethnocentric novels you're likely to find. To take over the Earth, the Martians (all of them) land in England. Wells speaks of English towns nonchalantly, figuring his entire audience will know exactly where he's talking about. "Then we heard firing from Shoeburyness" he'd say. "Not Shoeburyness! Those heartless aliens! What's next? Pyrford? The surely wouldn't attack Leatherhead!" I assume he thinks the reader will exclaim. Yes, I understand this novel is from the turn of the LAST century... and I'm willing to give Wells the benefit of the doubt. I'm just letting you know my experience of his novel. For someone reading this book in 2005 in America, the book's a little "where?" from time to time.
And, finally, in the most disgusting thing I can think of category, Darren Sharper is going to play for the Vikings next season. This happened a while ago, I just wasn't paying attention. Good riddance to Sharper, an amazing natural athlete with very little upstairs... I just know he'll single-handedly do something to beat us next year. He always seemed to be in the right place at the right time.

See How Fun I Am! (Thanks Feder)

Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.

Your date match profile: Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps her body in top shape. Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need. Intellectual - You seek out intelligence. Idle chit-chat is not what you are after. You prefer your date who can stimulate your mind.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Big-Hearted 3. Athletic 4. Romantic 5. Wealthy/Ambitious 6. Intellectual 7. Funny 8. Adventurous 9. Practical 10. Sensual

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Athletic 2. Conservative 3. Intellectual 4. Sensual 5. Outgoing 6. Funny 7. Practical 8. Adventurous 9. Religious 10. Traditional

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

Notice how I am a Liberal who is looking for a Conservative. This is obviously because I am constantly trying to sabotage my own happiness. I am, apparently, only going to be happy with someone I can argue with about everything political. And you wonder why I hate myself so much.

"If God made you, He's in love with me"
Yesterday afternoon I went to the bank to deposit some major fundage. I got some money from my folks this weekend because I'm a useless boil on society... but, when I got back to Chicago, I got my tax refund check from the Federal Government. It was enough to cover all my expenses (I think) for my England trip. I'll be able to spend a little over $40 a day over there. That should be enough, I think. So I'm really excited that I won't need to ask my parents for spending money for my trip because I already got it from being charged too much in taxes last year. I think that's awesome!
Then I went to the Near North branch of the Chicago Public Library. I got yelled at by Laura for not having a library card yet *frowny face*. Well, I deserved it. I've been here since the beginning of time and I should have a library card by now. As such, I went to the library to check out some books and to get that elusive card I've needed since time immemorial. After spending at least half an hour looking around, looking at plays, looking at fiction, looking at science fiction, I had settled on three books: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, and Glengarry Glen Ross. As I approached a busy looking librarian, my focus was caught by a sign explaining how to get a library card. Turns out, I don't have an Illinois driver's license. And I had nothing on me that would prove that I'm even an Illinois resident. So I had to put the books away and leave. I'll head back there, probably early next week, and bring with me some old bill stubs and maybe my checkbook to prove that I live only a couple blocks away. Why must everything be so complicated? "This falls under the 'Nothing is easy' category" my father would say.
I found myself stuck watching "Rose Red" on SciFi last night. I wasn't stuck watching it, I wanted to watch it because I thought it would be cool to be watching a creepy/scary movie while it rained here in Chicago (which the forecast said would happen almost all night). Firstly, it didn't really rain here. I looked outside late at night to see the pavement damp, but I never heard any rain. Secondly, Rose Red is part of a mini-series... so I was only able to watch four of the six hours. The first four. I'm going to miss the ending. Which is actually okay by me. I'm sure the book is a lot better than the movie... the movie seems disjointed (probably because it's a made-for-TV miniseries and they have to write commercial breaks into the screenplay). Also what I've noticed is that it's difficult, at least in my opinion, to get a really good child actor. I noticed this too in The Shining (which SciFi played right after Rose Red). Not the old version with Jack Nicholson, the new version. I found myself wanting the kid to die pretty soon after the movie started. And, if you want the characters to die in a suspense/thriller movie, there's no suspense or thrills. So, for future reference, let's make sure that our thriller movies don't have children in them (slim chance of THAT happening). Just think of a lot of those kinds of movies... I'd say at least 75% of them have a child in them that we're supposed to not want to die. And, almost 100% of those I find myself watching yelling at the screen "Get the kid! Kill the kid first!" Maybe I'm just annoyed by child actors... or jealous that I was never a child actor... or maybe I just don't buy their acting... whatever it is, just make sure to hack the kid up first.
Speaking of acting, I've had this theory kicking around in my head for a while now and I finally explained it to someone last night. I feel as though there are two kinds of actors:
Group 1 consists of actors who need the attention. They love being on stage in front of people... entertaining them; making them laugh, cry, FEEL. These are people who are apt to say "Look at ME!!!" I feel I fall under this category (and so do most people at The Second City). It's not ALL about "Look at ME!!!" with me, and there are certainly people who put me to shame in this category because they can't stand NOT being the center of attention, but, for the most part, this is me.
Group 2 consists of actors who can't stand to be themselves. They act because it allows them to be someone else... if only for an hour or a few minutes. These people enjoy compliments like "You really WERE that character"... and they use acting as an escape from their own life.
There is something horrifically sad about both of these types of people. People who feel so small that they need constant attention... People who are so unsatisfied with who they are that they have to be someone else. Think of every celebrity/movie-star you know of... and they are pretty much one of these two groups of sad people. Do you really envy them?

To change the subject without use of a segue, I have recently been brushing my teeth with an obsessive compulsion. Ever since the root canal process started, I've been brushing at least five times a day... sometimes in between bites of food. Okay, that's not true... but the five times a day thing IS true. Obsessively. I feel like Laura *smile*. Sorry dear, had to do it. Please don't hurt me.
In other "news," JK Rowling says that her new book--Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince--is her favorite one of the series so far. Here's an article that tells you what I just said.
And, about the Picking on Einstein article I linked to yesterday, I just wanted to say a couple quick things and then I'll let you go. The article mentions the holy grail of physics "The Theory of Everything." While I love string theory (because I feel all superior because I can wrap my mind around more of it than most people), I think that we'll never have a comprehensive, elegant Theory of Everything. I think the universe is just too sloppy for that... and ever-changing the universe is. Difficult to see... always in motion is future. Heehee. Nevermind. Anyway, I think a clear "Theory of Everything" will give creationists some fodder. "Look," they'll say, "if the whole universe follows this theory then it must have been intelligently designed." Isn't that the proof they've always wanted? I know I, for one, will be pretty convinced in an intelligent design if a Theory of Everything is found. But I'm a sucker for pretty, shiny theories.