The Weekend That Wasn't... ?
Well, the big and busy weekend I had planned out for myself didn't quite pan out as I had anticipated. This weekend was supposed to be one of improv games/workshops, an improv show, sketch shows, and a quick game of tennis. Needless to say, I didn't do much of that at all. What I did do, however, was somehow break myself out of the slump in which I had been trapped for the past two weeks. I'm not exactly sure how I did it either. I read, played a lot of GTA 3 Vice City, caught up on the phone with a few friends, emailed a few others (some I should have emailed a long time ago), and caught up with my folks in a marathon two and half hour long phone conversation. I haven't talked with them in about two weeks. Looking back through my emails, my dad had actually sent me about half a dozen emails within the past two weeks and I didn't reply to any of them. One of them (an email simply saying something along the lines of "I'm thinking about you. I'm proud of you. Hang in there") damn near made me cry... if I was capable of such a thing. And it came right at the end of my two week-long funk. On the phone, he said that "God had told me you needed to hear that!"... half-joking, but I know he wasn't joking. If you've ever heard me talk to you, then you know the kind of thing I'm talking about... even though that sentence made absolutely no sense. It was a good weekend... and there is much to be done in preparation for the England trip which is only a month away (less than a month!).
Now, as you all know, I've been having big mental problems trying to figure out how/what to post in my blog after all the recent trouble I've been in. At the behest of two very intelligent women, I have started to write more personal, intimate things someplace else. I guess one of the reasons I had so much trouble trying to figure out if I should post that all here (and ultimately one of the reasons I do the blog in the first place) is the permanence of it all. Since I started doing improvisation, my life has become a series of moments... and living my life has become one of living moment-to-moment. While some may applaud that kind of life-style, it is not one to which I am accustomed. I'm a planner, plain and simple. And living moment-to-moment while working at Coldstone proved too much for me to bear. I think one of the reasons I'm trying to write a movie is that I feel that it's far more permanent than improv or sketch. I'm looking to leave a legacy... something that will prove that I was here after I'm gone. I guess that's really what I'm looking for... just something to prove I was here.