Special Guest rant... from an actual guest-
"It's Martini Time - or - Why the windy city kicks serious ass."

My flight into Midway was 10 minutes early, so it made perfect sense for John to be 2 hours late, stuck somewhere in Chicago traffic. But it was okay, because for the first time in well over a month, I've seen continuous rain. Not flash-flood inducing, torrential, biblical-proportion, 15 minutes of rain. It's been raining since I arrived. Drizzling. I am simply ecstatic. You never really appreciate somewhere that has weather until you live in Vegas. The only weather we get is: hot, really hot, and pavement-melting hot, with the occasional chance of strippers. I've actually fried eggs and bacon on the sidewalk out there, just to see if I could.

So other than the weather, which is the most common and obvious difference, (Wonder why it's always a conversation starter? That's why.) there's the city itself. Apartment buildings instead of apartment complexes, office buildings instead of casinos, and there's not a slot machine to be found in the 7-Eleven. Buildings here are more than 40 years old. If a building in sin city is over 40, they tear it down. The taxi drivers are about the same, but everyone seems to enjoy honking their horn to an outrageous degree. Apparently honking your horn in Chicago can mean any number of things: "Cross the street, I won't hit you.", "Move your ass, you stupid soccer mom.", "Why are you attempting a U-Turn in the middle of the intersection?", or "It's a one-way street, jackass." Whereas most of the honking at Vegas is at strippers. Or unassuming tourists that are stopped in traffic gawking at strippers.

I've mentioned strippers three times so far. And, as John says, I am from Las Vegas, so... if you're offended, too bad. In Nevada, nobody seems to care, so I don't either.

But the windy city really kicks some serious ass because I found The Reverend Horton Heat's DVD at the Virgin Megastore. (If you haven't heard of The Reverend Horton Heat, look them up... some serious rock and roll.) I spent a week looking for that fricking DVD in Vegas, and it was nowhere to be found. But it's here, and it rocks.

Yeah. Now I'm going to kick John's ass at some Halo. No, really. I will. Seriously. Stop laughing.

- Ken