October 5, 2003
BEARS WIN, BEARS WIN!!!
That’s right kiddies… all it takes for a Bears win is to insert some craziness into the lineup. All Chicago needed was a man who knows WAY too much about football. So Jimmy Shy moved here. And THEN the city figured two guys who know too much is better than one… so I moved here too. And finally the Bears decided to run the ball with Anthony Thomas (arguably their best player on the offense... COME ON!). How badly do I want to be Chicago’s Offensive Coordinator? (Hint: quite badly as I’d do a much better job that What’s-his-butt)
I was able to watch football on my one channel. I hear my CBS channel comes from the Hancock Building, which is way close to me. Speaking of stuff way close to me… the Magnificent Mile is just a few blocks from me… am going to pretend I’m a tourist (as I pretty much am) and go shopping tomorrow.
I’ve been feeling tired all day and am wondering if I’m coming down with something. Did you know you can get a cold in a warm climate like LA? How weird is that? They should name it something different down there… like herpes. Wait… that may be taken already. How about “I feel all poopy and snotty”? Then no one gets confused and everyone knows how you feel… we could even shorten it to P&S for those of us who don’t like to say a lot of words.
Speaking of which… CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!!!
I can’t wait to help riot by overturning someone’s car! Or burn something. You know there’s a lot of trash around Chicago (as the Garbage Person strike continues) we could probably burn all the trash and then Chicago would smell like Gary, Indiana. But it doesn’t really matter because I’m going to go break something. And, the best news is that Chicago has home-field advantage in the NLCS against the Marlins. The Marlins? A big fish? And what do cubs eat? That’s right… baseball is really simple when you break it down logically.
Speaking of logic… I think the best thing to do after a big win like this is to interview the drunkest fans you can find. Wow… nothing says intelligence like slurred speech and loud cheering. Well… it looks like I’ll have a crazy night… hope you will too :)