Nothing says sexy quite like ice cream
All right kiddies... it's time to talk about something that's been bothering ol' Crazy for a while. At Coldstone, we've been trying to come up with a way to advertise at our local Lowes Cineplex (it's in Piper's Alley... it's right there down the street... it's perfect). When we started trying to come up with a "proofs" for the slide (you know how they have slides before a movie at some theatres), we received a bunch from Lowes that they've already used with Coldstone. You'll see why I have a problem with it in a second... here are the tag-lines to the proofs we were sent: "It's not a sin to want it", "Sensual. Seductive. Yet rated G", "Indulgence Awaits". Only the 'indulgence' one is non-sexual enough to appeal to a younger audience. The other ones... Jesus Christ! We're selling f--king ice cream here... come on! Needless to say, Andrea and I told them we'd get our own proof. So she and I emailed the Coldstone marketing team and told them that we needed a proof for the Lowes promotion... and, furthermore, we told them exactly what we wanted it to say: "It's a great day for ice cream". That's it... something simple that doesn't involve anyone pulling their pants down and trying to mate with the ice cream. After perhaps a month and a half or two... this is what Coldstone came back with: "Breathe Deeply. We're not far." Breathe deeply?! What the FUCK does that even mean? Is anyone literally sitting in the theatre, hyperventilating because they won't be able to eat ice cream for another hour and a half or whatever until the movie's over? I could've punched someone's teeth out! We waited a month, and you not only changed what we wanted it to say, you made it say something so non-sensical and stupid that I'd like to fly to Arizona just to ask them what in the world they possibly could have been thinking. The shitty part is that we HAVE to go with this proof... it's been over a month and we have to get the proof out. So that's what it is... I HATE marketing people (sorry Randi)... HATE them all for being so obviously out of touch that they think "Breathe Deeply. We're not far" is brilliant. What pisses Andrea off about it is that coming up with "shit like this is someone's job". She makes me laugh.

At class tonight, Joe Janes had us make another list of ten Onion style headlines. We then went on a "field trip" to the faculty lounge where he showed us the David Letterman website. Apparently, they do a top ten countdown from people all over the country every week, and this week Joe wanted us to submit our ideas. So we each sat at the computer, in turn, and submitted one from our Onion Headline list. A funny thing happened, though. When it was my turn to submit, I was stuck on a question: Where am I from? I actually asked out loud, "Hmm... where should I say I'm from?" and it was Adam White who said "Big Rapids?". I put that down with little fanfair, but inside I was going crazy... where am I from? Why isn't that an easier question? Why doesn't any place feel like home anymore? I guess you really can never go home again.