Oh... look who's back for more... "tis I, Sir Ronald" (my favorite line from a commercial EVER).
Right... but it's me, that crazy guy who smells your dirty laundry... and I've got something to post. This is a scene that I wrote for my writing class.... it is NOT the thing I said earlier that I've been working on for a while and wanted to post. THAT is a long explaination of my personal views on the soul, afterlife, God, fate, and religion. Look for that later, when I've finished it. I also have had a request for a scene between a bathroom attendant and his apprentice trainie... so look for that soon, too.
And now... I give you: "The Raise" (Don't let me catch any part of this somewhere else... if you rip my stuff off, I have NOTHING better to do than hunt you and your family down and feed you all to pigs)

Jenson
Do you have a minute, sir?

Benson
Oh… sure sure… siddown Johnson, can I call you Johnson?

Jenson
Well, that’s not my name, sir, but I don’t see why…

Benson
(Interrupting)
It’s like I say, Johnson, my door is always open. So… what can I do you for?

Jenson
Well sir, as you know the holidays are coming and it will be my daughter’s first Christmas… and I wanted to make it really special for her…

Benson
Uh huh…

Jenson
And I’ve put in a lot of overtime lately… I even worked on Thanksgiving, if you’ll remember…

Benson
Mmhmm…

Jenson
And my supervisor has really liked my ideas, and he thinks that I’m doing a fantastic job…

Benson
I’m sure he does.

Jenson
You can ask him, if you’d like… he’ll tell you.

Benson
Oh, I’m sure he will.

Jenson
Even with my new family, I’m sure he’ll agree that I have made this company my top priority.

Benson
Can I ask you something Johnson?

Jenson
Yes, sir… of course.

Benson
Are you asking me for a raise?

Jenson
Well… sort of.

Benson
Sort of?

Jenson
It doesn’t have to be permanent… It’s just that I could use a larger Holiday bonus than normal… please, sir.

Benson
(Sigh) Johnson, you know how strapped for cash we are. Our third quarter numbers were terrible… and that’s not to mention this summer’s… ahem… catastrophe.

Jenson
I know, I know… but if you could just consider giving me a little extra this holiday season, I’m sure that you’ll find next year that I will be an invaluable asset to this company and I’ll more than earn this bonus.

Benson
Let me ask you something, Johnson. Were you working the day of the incident this summer?

Jenson
Um… yes sir.

Benson
And why didn’t you stop it?

Jenson
(Pause)
Well sir… (cough) you see… I wasn’t exactly prepared for something like that to happen… so, I was overpowered.

Benson
Ahh… overpowered, I see. And your company issued assault rifle… ?

Jenson
Well, sir, I think he knew Judo, and…

Benson
Judo??! You had a gun and he did not, but he knew Judo… I can see why you were overpowered.

Jenson
He gave me a chop to the back of the neck and I was out cold until it was pretty much over.

Benson
So you were unconscious the whole time?

Jenson
Yes sir.

Benson
When he repositioned the satellite?

Jenson
Yes sir.

Benson
And when he aimed the super laser at its own power source, fired it, and destroyed it?

Jenson
Yes sir.

Benson
And when he was fighting with Doctor Vengeance, a man with whom I have worked for fifteen years who was the godfather to my first born and has been my family’s physician all my children’s lives… you were unconscious when that spy took the taser fortuitously placed next to him when he was knocked down by Doctor Vengeance and he then proceeded to use that taser to electrocute Doctor Vengeance who was unfortunately standing in the water from the fish tank that was broken earlier in the fight?

Jenson
No… well, actually, I did see that. But Doctor Vengeance was doing so well, I mean… he even had the time to completely explain his master plan, and… I… I’m not going to get the raise am I? (Pause) I think I’m just going to go.
(Exit)