I just finished what could possibly be the best thing I've written since I started taking classes at Second City. And all I had to do was make fun of Catholics, hard-core Christians, and Vegetarians. This leaves, roughly, 23% of this country's population to find my scene funny. Maybe it wasn't smart of me to make fun of alcoholics or pot smokers... as that cuts the percentage of people who find my scene amusing down to 0.7%. But those 47 people are going to laugh their hynies right off! No more hynies!!!

Oh... totally PS... the Matt who was kissing my ass earlier asked tonight if he should start calling me "sir." Does this guy not have a clue or what? Whatever... keep kissin' my ass, boy! Mwah ha haaa...