CrazyJohn the ice cream trainer... >shrugs<
Well... I opened the store today because Hannah, the young lady who normally opens during the week, is in Nebraska with her boyfriend Adam. And, this has nothing to do with my day, but Hannah and Adam are the CUTEST! OH MY GOD they're cute! They're not disgustingly cute... like you... they're wonderfully cute... like jelly beans. For their three month anniversary, Hannah made an ice cream cake the size of our "to go" cups (so it was fairly small... for a 'cake')... and she frosted it... and she put a "3" on top. It was adorable! Ooo! And one day in work she asked me if I ever went dancing in the city and I was all "hmm... I'm a straight man... whadda you think?" but I said "not really, no" and she was all "oh... because I'm going dancing and I wondered what people wear." So, you know me (if you know me), I pried and made her tell me what was going on... and Adam was taking her swing dancing. They apparently have like a class at Moody or something where you learn for an hour or so and then you go out dancing as a "class" and dance. Sounded pretty neat to me... and she was SO nervous that night. Ahh ha haaa... so CUTE! OH... AND one day Adam brought in flowers for her and she put them with her stuff (which we keep in the employee bathroom... we have no space), so when I came into the store and went into the bathroom to change, the whole bathroom smelled of lilies. I smelled them before I saw them... and knew they were lilies. Lilies I know, because one of the ex-girlfriends LOVED lilies and I, being me, messed up enough to get the chance to buy her LOTS of them.
I'm totally digressing. Anyway, Hannah wasn't there today so I opened the store. It takes about an hour to get the store ready for open (and it takes about 45 minutes for the stone to cool down... just so you all know), so I went about my business from about 12 to 1. Then Amy came in (she helped train me, took a LOT of time off, and now I'm all higher up on the hierarchy. Life's weird, huh?). She was working 1-6 and I was supposed to be done at 1... but I wanted to make sure she was cool with everything before I left. So about ten after, a guy came in. His name was Chris and he was supposed to be trained today, right? But no Andrea to train him... so I gave her a call. She said she was going to be twenty to thirty minutes late... and would I mind showing him around and informing him on as much of what goes on as I would like? Um... I guess I wouldn't mind... so here we go Chris! First of all, Chris is a sophomore at Loyola and he's from New Orleans. Interesting. So I got Chris a uniform and showed him the basement area... then I showed him the backroom and all the freezers... THEN I showed him the stone ("I've already been introduced to the stone" he said... "Oh, so you know each other? Good." I responded. I think I'm clever). And I tried to run through as much of the actual ice cream serving process as I could remember.... and Andrea showed up, but she had a couple things to do and would I mind going over some more stuff? Um... no... "Chris and I are bonding" I said. He might think I'm a huge dork... he wouldn't be far off.
Anyway... Chris and I go back to me fumbling through anything I can think to teach him (I wish I knew I was going to be doing this... I would've planned!) and this young lass come in the store. "I'm here to interview" she says... "What the fuck is going on?" I'm thinking... but I SAY "Hi... I'm John". Her name was Elizabeth and she's from Wisconsin (WOO HOO!!!). Bascobel, to be exact. I bet you don't know where that is. I didn't either, but I just looked it up, because I'm a stalker like that. Anyway... Elizabeth went to Luther College (where Heather Pickett went and left, if you're following at home) [Also where Dave Matthews had a live CD recorded], and she's in Chicago because she's trying to become a chef. Weird, huh? So, let's think... trying to be a chef and applying to Coldstone... do we think she's going to be hired? No...
YES! Of course she got the job... she's going to be a f--king chef for crapsake! Right... so Andrea had the interview with Elizabeth AND gave her the job while Chris and I bonded and stuff. He WAS able to make a malt for some dude who came in... so I was proud of him. >beems< that's my Chris!
Elizabeth left, after being hired... and Andrea told Chris to go after being fully saturated by all my ice cream knowledge (ppfftt!). Andrea and I then went into the office and talked about the hiring process and caught up on things. I told her how afraid of her I was when I was hired... and she laughed. She told me that my application made me look too smart to be applying to ColdStone and she mused as to why I was hired... I told her that I was hired because I was "desperate enough to shovel shit." These were her words on the day I started... She apparently had forgotten because me recounting the story made her laugh hystarically. I was just like... yeah... I was that desperate.
Then she asked when I was born again, so I told her. She said "Elizabeth was born in 1984. She's cute." I showed no outward sign of emotion... but inwardly I shook my head. 1984... I'm eventually going to marry someone born in 1984, I know it. I keep dating women born in 1984... the year will continue to haunt me forever, I'm sure. I should read the book.
Anyway... if she brings it up again, I'm going to ask her if she REALLY wants intra-"office" dating at ColdStone. Because, if she doesn't, maybe she should stop trying to set me up with people who work for the store... or who do business with the store... or who know what the store is (maybe that's going a little far, but you never know). Anyway... Andrea just mentioned that Elizabeth is from a small town too... but she has a much better attitude about things than I do. Elizabeth thinks the city is "exciting" and "full of possibilities" while I think the city is "shitty" and "full of murderers." Actually a lot closer in ideology than previously thought, huh? But she just said that maybe Elizabeth should "talk to me... because you make it [the city] sound so terrible." I told her that it was my gift to the world.
And, really, that's true. I'm the balance to the equation... I'm the Yin to your Yang... I am the man who points out how terrible things are so that you can re-affirm how wonderful they can be. Face it world... you need me. I balance you out... without me, you're happy all the time and what kind of life would that be? Constant happiness? How would you know that you were happy after a while? I mean... what are the highs without the lows? The highs are nothing.
Remember that... when things aren't going well. Without this pain... without this terrible feeling... how would you ever really know if you were happy?

I don't see that as a depressing thought at all. Quite the contrary... As I am getting older, I am aiming... thirsting... for a complete balance in my life. Right now... let's just say that I know I'm still unstable. But at least I have some semblance of a goal. Goodnight.